Life’s a Bach

On our second and also last episode of the season we celebrated Katie's Finale of Season 17 of the Bachelorette by talking about Greg a whole bunch even though we didn't really want to talk about Greg. Anyway, we are pumped for Paradise and will be doing a medium-better job of recording episodes about it!

Pretend like that title rhymes better and is clever. Pretend like we made/talked about snacks and that Mal was here. Pretend like these show notes are helpful at all. There, that's better. Behind the facade I just had you create lies the truth, which is that Hillary and Jill sleepily ran through episode one of Katie's season of the Bachelorette and her remaining 23 suitors and then made no kind of promises about how, when or if there will be more episodes of this podcast going forward. It's just for fun! Anyway we did make cookies but the recipes have been on the blog forever because they're old faves.  http://www.snackmondays.com http://www.instagram.com/snackmondays  

Wow, Matt James’ season is over. Somehow both nothing and everything happened during it? The ladies spend a few minutes reminiscing about the start of Quarantine this time last year - they were but young and oh so naive. They spend a little time clearing up some snack adjacent confusion and then honestly just kinda jump right in to talking about The Bachelor of all things!  Jill did a very good job editing the first 30 minutes of this episode and then didn't look at it for 3 days and then decided to upload it because realistically it's getting published unfinished or it ain't gettin published. Sometimes it just do be like that. Anyway thanks for joining us on this super bummer of a season and we look forward to coming back for the Bachelorette with a better format AND better attitudes (no promises tho lol)! Recipes as always at http://www.snackmondays.com Follow us on Insta at https://www.instagram.com/snackmondays 

As usual Hillary is the only person worth a dang on this production team and manages to walk Mal and Jill through the important pieces of the Women Tell All as well as the Semi-Finals aka the Fantasy Suites. Just to get this out of the way, Hillary snacked on leftover asparagus, mushroom and artichoke risotto. Mal had a blueberry muffin, Indica Nut-Balls (lol nut-balls amirite?) and coffee with a lil Baileys. Jill had the wrong brand of string cheese and a satsuma! Thought we should start with that since you can hear Hillary feasting but no mention of snacks is made at any point during the episode. We've only been doing this for three years! Anyway the title of this episode was going to be Tillamook: Rhymes with Palahniuk kind of and then Jill looked it up and learned that Chuck Palahniuk pronounce his own last name as "Paula-Nick" so daggum it all to heck anyhow.  Dat Recipe Blog - http://www.snackmondays.com Dat Email Addy - snackmondays@gmail.com Dat Insta Handle - @snackmondays

Just a quick check in to let all everyone know we're taking the week off from recording. Everyone is healthy and doing fine, just busy and the Women Tell All seemed like a great episode to skip. We'll be back March 14th with Fantasy Suite coverage and intend to do the Finale on March 21st. In the mean time, we can recommend some other stuff to listen to and some other ways to get your Life's a Bach adjacent content: Visit our recipe blog: http://www.snackmondays.com Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/snackmondays Listen to Jill's other podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/fetch-a-pail/id1534989718  Listen to Mal's other podcast https://open.spotify.com/show/67TMIKjxCzgZX8txeZgK3M?si=uEa3hg2STLaMcnt15ARM-Q  Listen to a different bachelor podcast Game of Roses - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/game-of-roses/id1469113217 2 Black Girls, 1 Rose - https://www.patreon.com/2blackgirls1rose Chatty Broads - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/chatty-broads-with-bekah-and-jess/id1441571050 Date Card Pod - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/date-card/id1389628122  

First order of business, we will be recording on Saturdays for the duration of Matt's season so new episodes will be coming out on Sundays (probably). This means you get to listen to us yell about stuff you watched 6 days ago just in time for none of it to be relevant anymore. Or! It's like a good opportunity to freshen up on what happened last week so you're mentally and emotionally prepared for the new episode. You're welcome? Also, since there's such a quick turnaround Jill is not able to spend as much time editing out the sounds of Hill snacking and Mal taking bong rips. So you're also welcome for that fresh, hot, AUTHENTICITY. Anyway, this episode is about hometowns, but only kind of. There's a strong possibility we will continue to do a version of this podcast in the future that is no longer about The Bachelor due to the franchise's consistently problematic treatment and portrayal of people of color, especially Black people.  Jill talks about a salad she ate last night, Mal eats a cheese bagel AND THEN cake and ice cream and Hill enjoys Sushi in a bowl which explodes Jill and Mal's tiny brains. Snack Recipes at http://www.snackmondays.com Email us! Questions, comments or whatever you want - snackmondays@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/snackmondays/

Jill uploaded this episode without a name as brought to her attention by Hill, but at this point it feels too hard to come up with something. Mal has too many pictures and videos on her phone, neither Mal nor Hill trust the "cloud" with their cherished memories, and both of them think that Bri got sent home this episode. Whatever is the opposite of a spoiler alert: she did not. Somehow in the course of a couple weeks the ladies have gone from really liking and being impressed with Matt to not really caring about him and thinking everyone on this season (except Rachael) is too good for him. Jill has no memory of an ice skating and fake snow situation, and Mal went from not trusting Pieper last week to Pieper being one of her favorites and also thinks Michelle is too serious even though she did pushups in her evening gown and made Bri spit Zhampagne out on her back from laughter. Bottom line is no one seems to actually be watching this show anymore, except maybe Todd and Jill's mom. Your gals spend a significant portion of this episode "flexing their woke muscles" as first time listener long time caller Jackie would say. But! Considering how much of Bach Nation doesn't give a shit about anti-racism or are outright racist, it feels necessary.  Snacks! http://www.snackmondays.com Fire Chris Harrison! https://www.change.org/p/abc-remove-chris-harrison-from-the-bachelor-franchise  

The ladies start to give MJ a hard time about being “afraid” of chickens but pretty quickly realize they are all maybe afraid of all birds? This conversation also reveals that Jill doesn’t believe that any geese are white and she thinks all Geese are Canada Geese. Watching more of Matt’s season is making everyone even more aware of how shitty and low budget Clare & Tayshia’s season was. And honestly all the Bachelorettes compared to their male counterparts. SMASH THE PATRIARCHY. Speaking of the patriarchy the ladies attempt to dissect some of what was wrong with Chris Harrison's behavior during a recent interview with Rachel Lindsay regarding the racism of a contestant on the current season. The short version is #firechrisharrison and for the long version the gals recommend an episode of Game of Roses which plays the interview in full and goes deep into each problematic aspect. Link below! Jill snacks on delish Shortbread Cookies that Hillary made for V-Day and Mal describes what feels like the saddest snack of all time. Recipes as always at http://www.snackmondays.com  Something they didn’t remember correctly and couldn’t be bothered to Google during recording was that Colton jumped the fence in Portugal.  Game of Roses - The Racist Face of Our Beloved Game https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/game-of-roses/id1469113217?i=1000508595627  

Mal is back this week! Then ladies maybe set a record for how long it takes them to start talking about The Bachelor, but they make up for it with tales of accidental booze brownies, customer service voices and very compelling arguments for and against turtlenecks. This episode was recorded at 12:30pm but Jill sounds like she just woke up (she did) and keeps talking about breakfast like it's not lunch time. Some tea regarding a history of cultural appropriation and allegations of racism are spilled on Rachael who "has never been treated like a princess" Also some troubling accounts from Matt's former roommate make it difficult to believe he's as perfect as he's portrayed on the show. Hillary is the only one with a real snack and DANG GIRL, that Bailey's Chocolate Cheesecake sounded heavenly. Recipes for your snack times at http://www.snackmondays.com

Jill and Hill gave Mal the week off, and as always her presence was sorely missed. To make up for it, there is a clicking noise that Jill doesn't notice until about 20 minutes in and then doesn't address for another 5. After editing the episode she realizes it was happening for.... pretty much the whole show up to that point. Believe it or not, about half of the clicks were successfully removed, so you're welcome! They also throw in an entirely new segment with no context or introduction! But that's kinda the whole point. It's called "Can I steal you for a sec?" and features a special guest! As far as anyone can remember, 3 people got sent home this episode but 4 people were added to the cast. Once again we end without a rose ceremony and no one can keep track of really anything that's happening. Jill snacks on Sbux and Hill enjoys a mocktail to wash down her delish pesto pasta din din. Recipes as always (eventually) at http://www.snackmondays.com

This week your gals take full advantage of a lag-free zoom experience and talk about The Bachelor but mostly whatever they want for almost two full hours! The Bachelor this week was one erotica story writing group date slash brand promotion for Chris Harrison and a one on one with Sierra P - no second group date and no rose ceremony (AGAIN) because Sarah is sad and it's important to her that everyone knows about it. Major takeaways include Katie still being awesome and everyone sort of liking Victoria now? Come for the Bachelor and snacks, stay for the "how do you feel about your body being eaten after you die" and "what about your hands smelling like salami" of it all. Also a LISTENER EMAIL!!! Things they forget to discuss: Victoria makes a Step Brothers reference (All of the boats, none of the hoes) and Clare and Dale (or Dane as Jill's uncle sometimes accidentally calls him) split up. Things Mal couldn't quite remember: The alien guy's name is Bob Lazar and the Christian rock band she was attempting to identify was Jars of Clay Find all our snack recipes at http://www.snackmondays.com  

It's week 2 and the ladies still like Matt James! They forget to talk about the totally unnecessary shirtless wood chopping scene but still manage to work in erotic topics like charcuterie facebook groups and enemas. As far as actual Bach content goes basically nobody likes a mid rose ceremony cliff hanger and nobody likes Queen V (but that's what she's going for, right?) The episode wraps with snack talk, but only enough to make the gals hungry. Also apparently new episodes of Life's A Bach come out on Saturdays now! Let's just plan on that lol. Recipes etc at http://www.snackmondays.com

In celebration of the 2nd episode of Matt James' (S25) season of The Bachelor, we are finally releasing our podcast about the 1st episode! Last week was a super fucked up time in America, or maybe rather the culmination of a super fucked up last several centuries. Two days after the first Black bachelor graced our screens, a mob of white supremacists stormed the Capital Building during the electoral vote certification at the behest of the President. What's that thing they say about 2 steps forward, 147 steps back? Anyway, we took a few extra days getting our content to internets this week but we feel it is very important to celebrate small victories like the most diverse cast in Bachelor history in addition to its first Black male lead. Your gals really enjoyed this episode and are very much looking forward to the rest of the season.    As always find our snack recipes at http://www.snackmondays.com

On this not very dramatic (in a good way) and very romantic (in an also good way) Finale episode the ladies talk about Clarky and the Queen, though they never call them that, the real real about religious differences AND Christmas cookies. Jill made chocolate orange Macarons and they were dope and fancy but the ganache was a strug, Hill made the world's most lovely almond shortbread thumbprint cookies with raspberry jam and Mal made ginger molasses cookies that sleighed. SLEIGHED, GET IT?! It's CHRISTMAS! SANTA!! Anyway, hashtag Ivan for Bachelor but instead we will be back in 2 weeks to talk shit about Matt James' season. All our fav cookie recipes from our Christmas Cookie Train exchange will be up on the blog! http://www.snackmondays.com

Daggum it's a busy time of year to be also watching and podcasting about The Bachelorette! That's Jill's way of saying "sorry it took 3 days to edit and upload again this week." Somehow we end this week down to the final three dudes. Tayshia somehow manages to look flawless despite the 120 degree heat and her suitors dumping buckets of sweat out of every pore even inside of doors! Inside. Indoors. You know what we mean. Ivan's family is the very best and that's pretty much it. Hill and Jill do their best to hold down the fort without Mal but it ain't easy! Probably no snack recipes this week but next week we will talk about the Cookie Train and perhaps that will end up in a blog post.   Catch up on old recipes at https://www.snackmondays.com

After taking a week off, the ladies record this episode on schedule but release it MANY days late because the lag was intense on the zoom call and it took our unpaid editor (Jill) a little extra time and finesse to make it make sense. With so few things making sense in this world, it seems worth the effort. Mal snacks on what she calls "grown up Gushers," Jill complains about cookies that seem to sound delicious to everyone else and Hillary puts us all to shame with her dinner game. Time continues to confuse everyone as they ponder how next week could possibly be hometowns when none of these people know each other at all and Bennett makes everyone feel weird.   Recipes as always at https://www.snackmondays.com Email us with your hot takes and questions snackmondays@gmail.com  

Tayshia sends home several great dudes (and Chasen) including our very fav Dr Joe but KEEPS ED. She also has what feels like a pretty real and emotion conversation with Ivan about being mixed race, growing up around mostly white people, and how the Black Lives Matter movement has impacted them this year. It was refreshing. The ladies talk a lot about snacks this week as well as their thanksgiving plans which, let's be honest, is just like a full day of snacks. No one can remember the name of "Red Kuri" squash and though Jake eventually texts Jill back she forgets to read it during the show. This extra long episode is extra less about the Bachelorette than usual! Find the snacks discussed this week at http://www.snackmondays.com

Tayshia sends home 3 dudes we barely recognize and Bennett makes Harvard look worse that ASU in a rousing game of very easy rose math. Ed is mad at Chasen for only knowing one adjective and Noah makes Tayshia shave off his mustache on a bench outside even though he knows how and he has a bathroom. Your fave gals discuss awkward parenting moments, what's in store for Christmas gifts and how best to get out of participating in PE (and Dodgeball!) but somehow forget to talk about how many times the phrase "grown ass man" was uttered on this toxic masculinity caricature of an episode. Hill weaves mouth watering tales of savory waffle sandwiches and Mal enjoys leftover mac and cheese but provides recipes for things that maybe got cut out? It's fine. Find them on the blog! https://www.snackmondays.com

Week 5 of Season 16 of the Bachelorette is night one for Tayshia and the remaining 16 dudes plus 4 new ones. She visits with and smooches on several, and ultimately gives the First Impression Rose to a newcomer who the ladies would rather bonk on the head as they reveal in their less violent version of Marry, F***, Kill which is now called, "Date Exclusively, Bang, Send 'em to the moon!" or something like that. Audio issues ABOUND but Jill tried her darnedest to make it listenable. Long story short: Ya gals are obsessed with Tayshia. Find this weeks snack/dinner recipes at https://www.snackmondays.com

On this windy Saturday in the Pacific Northwest the ladies gather remotely to mostly discuss the Bachelorette, but get a little distracted covering the outcome of ye ole Presidential Election since the winner was announced only hours prior to recording. Mal and Jill snack on coffee because they're not real grown ups and Hill tells tale of some delicious ass waffles that maybe weren't as crisp as she'd like but definitely were not soggy. Jill doesn't say anything about potato pancakes, but she did make and eat them directly after the show so that recipe's in the blog this week too! For this week's snacks and Hill's hot takes visit https://www.snackmondays.com If ya like us, please rate/review and subscribe!

The ladies take listener notes into consideration and go snacks first this week. Jill somehow misses the moment when Clare takes a whiff of Dale's pants which is quite possibly the best part of the episode, but we all get to relive it together. Mal admits to being a *bit* high maintenance in the early days of her relationship and Hill reminisces about thinking her husband seemed too "serious" when she first me him. For hot take by Hill and this week's snack recipes head on over to https://www.snackmondays.com

It's Week 2 and despite the misleading trailers Clare is still the Bachelorette and the ladies are still talkin about it, kinda. They go deep on Love Languages and even deeper on balls featuring special (and surprised to be here) guest Kevin. Speaking of Blue Balls, there was no rose ceremony this episode so none of this matters.For snacks, Mal made an applesauce Quick Bread and Hill made her world famous Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies, find the recipes at snackmondays.com

It's been a lengthy wait but ya gurls' fav garbage TV show is back, and so are they! Despite Mal & Hill's aversion to existential quandaries the ladies discuss the possible implications of simulation theory - oh wait, this episode is about the premier of Clare's season of The Bachelorette. Somehow both of those things are true! This week Hill & Jill are snackin on Caprese salad and homemade focaccia thanks to the diligent work of craft services (Jake) and Mal is enjoying a snack mix and apple pie courtesy of her mom from a remote location (her house). Follow us on Instagram @snackmondays and find our snack recipes at snackmondays.com

Jill and Hill have an impromptu visit to catch up on the latest. They attempt to cover some very strange Bachelor Nation news regarding the season of The Bachelorette currently filming in Palm Springs (?) probably. Some Burbank babies make appearances while our resident baby noise expert Hank takes a nap in the other room. 

The ladies gather for a morning time Zoom date as evidenced by Jill’s sleepy man voice. It only takes her like 2 hours after waking up to sound normal, don’t worry about it! They manage to discuss Bach nation news for about 6 minutes and otherwise are just catching up on the latest. Please enjoy another episode with 3 bff’s doing their dang best during a weird ass time.

This week we all wore headphones and it mostly worked! Hank makes himself known, as he is wont to do. Don’t worry that’s how you spell wont in this context. I know you were worried. Anyway the ladies are in pretty good spirits this week as the stay at home order persists and we continue to exist in this new, very weird life. Turns out talking to your friends helps!

The ladies have a catch up sesh about this scary weird time in which we find ourselves trapped. They’re going to try to get back to recording once a week or so, topics TBD since Bachelor shows are on indefinite hiatus and Hillary doesn’t want to watch Listen to Your Heart. Can you blame her?

Mal & Jill try to wade through the finale of this garbage heap of a season. Hill is not present for this low-energy episode but instead is home with a sick kiddo so as not to put our immunocompromised (real word? Spelled correctly? There’s no way to know) cohost at risk. Her presence and her hot takes are sorely missed, we hope to regroup for more shows at some point... maybe or maybe not Bachelor related.

Mal completely forgets about the podcast and repeatedly tries to drive to Michael’s instead but somehow makes it to Jill’s house to deliver that hot content we’ve all been waiting for. Hill and Hank are both in good spirits and everyone enjoys breakfast.

UnREAL is the name of the dramatized version of The Bachelor that we forgot and also somehow didn’t let Hillary finish googling. Mal is back this week and, of course, baby Hank makes an appearance. Jill forgot their microphone at work, so who knows what kind of trash this will be like for your ears.

Jill and Hill get together to smash through a 3 episode backup while Mal takes some well deserved time off. Her presence is missed but the remaining ladies (and baby Henry the sleepiest boy in all the land) manage to cover 3 hot messy trainwreck episodes in just over an hour. PLUS you can finally hear Hillary talking!

The ladies convene to discuss the first episode of Pilot Pete’s season which overall was found to be very good television. Baby Hank was our special guest this week and he made his presence known! He was sleepy and likes to yell about being happy and he’s 6 months old so no one is allowed to be mad at us about it, okay? Okay deal.

The ladies get together for their third and final Paradise episode. It’s been a wild ride, and and they barely discuss it. This week on things Jill shouldn’t say in front of her brother: stuff about queefs.

Jill, Mal & Hill reunite and attempt to cover 6 episodes of Bachelor in Paradise but mostly spend 2 hours talking about the kids starting kindergarten, existential crises and morning farts.

Mal & Jill do their best to cover FOUR episodes where somehow there has only been one rose ceremony while Hill is out of town spending time with family. This is probably the actual most dramatic season of paradise ever and it is both enthralling and appalling and this episode is long AF as a result.

The ladies talk mostly about how Hannah is amazing and that’s really the most important takeaway from this season anyway. Also don’t go on a dating (let’s be real - marriage) show to boost your music career.

After several weeks off, the ladies get together for a cuddle puddle in Hill’s bed with her new precious angel Hank the Baby. Due to the sheer volume of shows to cover, they actually talk about the Bachelorette!

The ladies get together to talk about what was arguably the worst episode of any show ever and end up mostly talking about press on nails and doing musical theater as teenagers.

The ladies are no less tired and it is HOT today so brains is extra mushy. There were tacos and cookies and chocolate covered strawbs that they forget to discuss, Hillary didn’t have a chance to watch both episodes and Jill edited the episode together without listening to any parts of it while watching other people play video games.

The ladies go over some things they missed or didn’t get quite right on the last couple episodes and talk about doing a better job with the audio (while doing the same job with the audio.) They stay on topic for the first time in history because Hannah Beast is surprising and impressing everyone with her badassery.

An earlier version of this episode cut off the last 3 minutes (yikes!) This one is maybe broken in a different way, but there’s only one way to find out. Give it a listen!

The ladies eat bread and fancy oil and vinegar, literal munchies and Nanaimo bars and talk about lots of other shows but surprisingly mostly about the Bachelorette!

And we’re back! We talk a little bit about the Bachelorette but also about middle school and the bug museum. Just listen to it!

The ladies gather in the middle of the Bachelor off season to enjoy the fruits of their labors: FREE SNACKS. Peatos and Paleovalley generously provided samples for review (but are not sponsors) and the gals had a great time eating noisily into your ears. If you suffer from misophonia, this is probably not the show and definitely not the episode for you. Also episode tried to autocorrect to episiotomy, so that’s weird.

Once again the ladies fall victim to the perils of using the voice memo app to record a show. Lesson (finally) learned! In order to produce a final episode we asked some friends to contribute content and comments and did our best to smush it together. Hopefully it’s not terrible! Either way we’ll be back May 15th-ish to talk about many things, including Season 15 of The Bachelorette starting (Alabama) Hannah Brown.

The ladies gather on this lovely Saturday morning to eat carbs and talk about the actual most dramatic episode of the Bachelor... maybe ever? They also discuss the Women Tell All and make predictions about next week’s nonsense.

The ladies try to talk about hometowns and they do okay at it.

The ladies attempt to recap 2 episodes since they were snowed in and unable to convene last week. Despite their best efforts they talk almost exclusively about things other than The Bachelor. Unsurprisingly, they also eat snacks!

Mal, Jill and Hill crunch loudly on chips and dip so don’t listen if you have misophonia. Also don’t listen if you hate hearing about Ted Bundy because there’s a pretty long bit where Jill and Hill just listen while Mal fills them in on some creepiness from the Ted Bundy tapes. Do listen if you like jokes and us talking about people you (probably) don’t remember from middle school!

Hill and Jill fly semi solo and do a lil shorty episode for the fans! Mal will be back next week but is featured via saved snap chat vids. Please enjoy this, okay?

The ladies talk for 92 a solid minutes about amazing things they tell great jokes they have a wonderful insights into society at large and then the app crashes and they lose at all. This is just us apologizing for her technical shortcomings and Jill giving a brief recap of not the whole episode she just realized.