Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships

MAUDE: I experienced a close friend engaging in the blame game this last week, and it was such a strong experience that it made me want to write about it here. My friend seemed to be walking around drowning in … How to Stop Playing the Blame Game and Actually Feel Peaceful Read More »

PHIL: Besides writing with Maude, I also write independently on Substack. Maude is away on a trip for a few weeks, so I want to describe some ideas of mine and explain how they apply to relationships. I've been thinking … How the Play Between Words and Feelings Affects Your Relationships Read More »

MAUDE: Phil is always saying that “we are a social species, and connection is a deep need we all have.” One of the ways that we achieve this in our various relationships is by sharing our experiences. This generally happens … The Pleasures and Importance of Shared Experience in Your Relationships Read More »

MAUDE: Last night, as we were talking about what we want to write a post about, a way of being present came up, and here we are with the post that grew out of that conversation. After an evening jamming … Are You Emotionally Present in Your Relationships or Just Not There? Read More »

MAUDE: I'm going to give you an update on the birthday plans I shared in July of 2025. You might be wondering what that has to do with peaceful relationships. Well, my experiences around this have given me lots of … How Radical Non-Interference Makes Our Relationship Feel So Peaceful Read More »

MAUDE: The road toward peace within all your relationships begins with your intention to have this experience. It comes from a strong attraction to it that starts to replace old habits of interaction. Often, we develop this intent without knowing … How to Apply Your Intention Toward Peace in All Your Relationships Read More »

MAUDE: Phil and I were sharing our reactions to an event in the neighborhood that we have both experienced. We wound up discussing differences and how we handle and react to them. It seems both of us have developed ways … The Boombox Guy Taught Us a Secret To Peace In Relationships Read More »

PHIL: In any relationship, there are expectations. I expect a sense of fairness, a recognition that there are two people involved. Early on, Maude and I spent several days exploring what our wedding vows would be and coming to agreement. … Your Relationship Expectations Make You Miss What's Happening Read More »

MAUDE: Last night Phil and I were sitting together, and we started talking about how each of us was feeling. The conversation wasn't about anything big or life-changing. It turned out that neither of us was feeling really right, but … Why Communicating Strengthens the Connection in Your Relationships Read More »

Phil and I were talking about how to get some balance between the daily barrage of distressing information and the peaceful interactions and way of responding to our daily lives that we practice. And as strange as it may seem, … Play is How to Add Peace Within Your Relationships Read More »

MAUDE: The word respect has been resounding in my head at various points during this week. It's one of those juicy words that we all attach different meanings to. Yet, it is also a very basic element of peace within … How To Respect Each Other's Separateness While Being Together Read More »

PHIL: When you're making plans or looking for solutions, how do you come to agreement? You need to find something that works for you and works for the other person, too, or maybe even people, because this is something that … The Secret to Agreement is Creating Something Neither of You Imagined Read More »

MAUDE: Phil and I just got back from a little overnight celebration of our first meeting. We took some time to just be with each other, share our love of nature, and concentrate on each other. Mainly, we were just … Give Your Relationships the Time They Deserve Read More »

PHIL: What we are trying to do in these posts is to describe how we are in as much detail as possible so that you, dear readers, can share our experience of living in peace. We have said before that … Why Being in Continuous Connection is Vital for Peaceful Relationships Read More »

MAUDE: I had a conversation with my friend Dale the other day that I found very inspiring. She told me of an event she experienced while walking near her home. She encountered a group of women from the block standing … The One Simple Switch That Transforms Every Relationship You Have Read More »

PHIL: One of our realizations has been that we are always on the same side. This is a big factor in how we have a peaceful relationship. It's easy for us to say that and expect people to go, “Oh, … The Secret to a Peaceful Relationship is Realizing You're on the Same Side Read More »

PHIL: For several reasons, we didn't have sex for a couple of months, and when we did start moving in that direction, I was very confused because I had never been in a relationship that started with friendship; I had … Why Being Friends is Such an Important Part of Your Relationships Read More »

MAUDE: The world seems filled with darkness these days, and yet, the light shines brighter through our very real connections to each other. It radiates forth and has greater strength than any transitory, no matter how horrible, aberrations. Phil and … The We That Exists With the Separate Self Read More »

PHIL: Last week, Maude wrote, “I had a partner once who was very there when he was there, but also often totally not available or present,” and when I asked her about this, she said it created an edginess in … Why Constancy of Connection is Important in Your Relationships Read More »

Hi there, Phil and Maude here. Wishing you a happy New Year and peace within your relationships in 2026. MAUDE: The other day, I was talking to one of my longest known and dearest friends, and she said to me … Why is an Inner Sense of Safety Vital to Peaceful Relationships? Read More »

Hi there, Phil and Maude here. You may notice that we haven't done a holiday post here. Since we write about peace all year round, and that is what we hope for, we will just say: Have a wonderful holiday … The Secret to Peaceful Relationships is Cooperative Interaction Read More »

MAUDE: Most relationship experts list communication as one of the most important kinds of exchanges between people. Phil and I feel this way as well, but it is the kind of communicating that is important to us. In the early … How Communicating From Your True Self Deepens Your Relationships Read More »

MAUDE: Peace is a choice, as are peaceful relationships. It came to me this morning that, in the same sense, peace is a verb. Being at peace and bringing it into your relationships takes action. It starts with intention and … How To Create A Peaceful Relationship In A World That Says It's Impossible Read More »

PHIL: Easter and Christmas are the only two holidays that Britain and America share. When I moved to this country, the new holidays were ideas with no emotional associations. I'm not big on celebrations, and they still don't move me … Find Joy And Peace through Appreciation And Acknowledgment Read More »

MAUDE: What is at the center of your heart, your actions, your decisions? Have you taken a deep dive within to reflect on these questions recently? I am referring to what we call Core Values. We have been surprised during … Why Are Your Core Values Important for Having Peaceful Relationships? Read More »

PHIL: When you walk around, you're probably passing judgment on people all the time: what terrible parking; that looks like a fake handbag; he's ignoring the customers; nice hat; what weird lips. All of the negative ones are about how … Replace “You're Wrong” With “I Love You” and See What Happens Read More »

PHIL: We've written in the past about white lies, and that while social graces help us all live together harmoniously, within close relationships, they reduce trust, an essential part of a peaceful relationship. I was recently downvoted on Reddit for … Why Is Your Truth So Important In Relationships? Read More »

MAUDE: An experience I had with Phil recently reminded me how important it is to just be there for another person sometimes. It sounds so simple and so natural. Just be there. And yet, it can mean so much to … In a Relationship, Sometimes Just Being There is Everything Read More »

PHIL: We write about our relationship because it is so good, and we know that other people could live this way, too. We describe as closely as possible exactly how we are and what we do, rather than drawing on … What's That Special Connection in Peaceful Relationships About? Read More »

MAUDE: I was reading our post from last week, and came across this statement, which I find very in sync with what Phil and I were discussing last night as we formulated the topic for this post: “I think we … Why Peaceful Relationships Start With This One Radical Choice Read More »

PHIL: I have been talking about differences a great deal recently, and that is because it seems to me that differences are the source of friction between people, whether it's what movie to watch or where to live. Maude and … A Different Approach to Differences in Relationships Read More »

MAUDE: Phil and I recently got back from two weeks driving through the parks and scenic roads of southern Utah. It was a transformational journey in several ways. One occurred when we stopped at a roadside attraction, or at least … Why Being Positive is so Powerful in Relationships and in the World Read More »

PHIL: Several lifetimes ago, I shared a house with about a dozen other people. We had a budget and took turns cooking. There were issues like when to clean, what standard of cleanliness, whether contributions should be income-related, and how … Base Your Relationships On Connection Not Competition Read More »

PHIL: Feeling seen by someone is a wonderful experience. We (most of us, anyway) cover up our interior self to get along in society, and as a result, lose touch with exactly who we are. To have our desires, uncertainties, … The Power of Seeing and Being Seen in Your Relationships Read More »

MAUDE: Phil and I often write about how important it is to your relationships to get to know yourself and the truths that reflect who you are right now. We have emphasized the need for self-reflection so that you can … The Balance Between Self-Reflection and Connection in Relationships Read More »

PHIL: I respect Maude in two different senses of the word. One is that I have great respect for her abilities, her skills, especially the ones I don't have. (Perhaps it is only the ones I don't have; perhaps we … R-E-S-P-E-C-T Is One of the Factors of Peace in Relationships Read More »

PHIL: One challenge in talking about peace is that it is thought of as an absence, a cessation, a lack of activity, as in “the peace of the dead.” I would rather describe it as a state of being. I … How to Recognize and Bring Peace Into Your Relationships Read More »

MAUDE: Phil and I recently visited with a dear friend at her home for a scrumptious dinner. The dinner wasn't the only thing that was delectable that evening. We had a powerful experience of our connection. Through the many hours … Connection is the Heart of Peace-filled Relationships Read More »

MAUDE: The path toward peaceful relationships is not filled with continuous agreement or having the same point of view on all things; at least, it doesn't always appear to be. More often there are places along the way where you … How To Deal With The Bumps You Encounter In Your Relationships Read More »

MAUDE: As I continue on this year's adventure of spending intimate time with those with whom I have deep relationships, I keep learning more about myself. This has been one of the unexpected and profound realizations as I experience these … How Relationships are Your Path Toward Growth Read More »

MAUDE: As many of you are aware, I have embarked on an adventure for this next year, birthday to birthday, of spending quality time with each of my closest relationships. (See this previous post.) Doesn't really matter what we do, … How to Keep Your Relationships Alive Read More »

After last week's post, There's Only One Side in Peaceful Relationships—the Same Side, we thought we'd follow up with a few pages from one of our books. It fascinates us that our themes are so steadfast, but at the same … How to Find Peaceful Solutions Without Giving Anything Up Read More »

MAUDE: I was reading a note from Anna Drabik, one of my favorite relationship writers on Substack, about compromise. We had an exchange on the topic, which led Phil and me to revisit this subject and share what we feel … There's Only One Side in Peaceful Relationships—the Same Side Read More »

Maude is away with a friend on one of those adventures she described last week (hence the photo), so I'm here writing solo. The other night, as we were settling in for our evening's entertainment, I said what I wanted … For Peaceful Relationships, Share Your Opinions But Don't Be Opinionated Read More »

I'm coming up on a big birthday, and it has invoked lots of thoughts of what I want to emphasize this coming year of my life. And, no surprise for those of you who know me and follow us, I … Do You Give Enough Time and Attention to Your Close Relationships? Read More »

MAUDE: Phil and I have been reflecting on snippiness; both being snippy and being related to in a snippy way. The dictionary defines it as: “a manner of speaking or behaving that is curt, abrupt, and often rude or disrespectful. It … How to Cut Out Snippiness in Your Relationships Read More »

MAUDE: On the path toward peaceful relationships, there are two areas we want to explore today: appreciation and acknowledgment. Both of these can be mighty contributors toward peaceful and loving relating. I was at a birthday party today with a … How Appreciation and Acknowledgment Open a Path to Peaceful Relationships Read More »

Hi, Phil and Maude here. Every week, we sit down and talk until we hit on a theme and jam on what we can say about it. Sometimes a dialogue best captures the essence of the conversation. PHIL: Mutuality is … How Does Mutuality Lead to Peaceful Relationships? Read More »

MAUDE: It is the unique quality of each person that can be the strength of a relationship, and yet it is often the great divider. Usually, when we write about uniqueness and its significance to peaceful relating, we discuss how … It's Important to Treasure Each Person's Uniqueness in Relationships Read More »

MAUDE: One of the cornerstones of deep and peaceful relationships is honesty. The ability to practice this within a relationship comes from a level of true acceptance of each other and the consequent trust that develops. This leads to a … Why Honesty is so Important in Creating Peace in Your Relationships Read More »

MAUDE: I've been thinking a lot about my deep relationships with friends, family, and my partner, Phil. What makes those relationships so full of support for my own personal growth, comfort, wisdom, laughter, and relaxation? What brings me the most … Why Knowing Your Values is so Important for all Your Relationships Read More »