Relationships, Friendships and Family Dynamics

Send us Fan MailIt's not about him leading; it's about him taking the initiative, and what that looks like. But also, you can share in the initiative, it's contributing in ways that you both feel supportive. Sometimes he starts; sometimes you do. It's about balance and mutual respect. https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us Fan MailEmpathy is often treated as something we should always have, but it has limits. Meaning, if a friend keeps repeating the same mistake, it becomes harder to have compassion or to see that they may be going through difficult times. A lot of the time, I believe it's just who they are, and we failed to see it at the beginning of the friendship. https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us Fan Mail We are dating in a time where everything is quick and fast. Relationships can become hot and heavy almost overnight, and before you know it, it's over. That's why it's crucial to pause and ask important questions before entering a relationship. Yes, he takes you out every weekend and calls you regularly, which are good signs. However, it's important to slow down and discuss whether he is willing to commit to certain boundaries if you decide to pursue a relationship together.https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us Fan MailYes, I did self-abandon myself. The grief was unbearable. Losing my mommy and my furbaby back-to-back was painful, and for a while, I didn't want to move forward. But in March, something in me began to change, something shifted. I believe it was my angels—my mom, my sister, and Lulu—guiding me. I made the decision to start living again, even with the pain still present. I understand that life will look different now, and it always will. But I am giving it my very best, taking it one step at a time.

Send us Fan MailSo, let's talk about something that many of us don't even realize we're experiencing… self-abandonment. I don't think we truly understand what self-abandonment really means. A lot of times, we believe that because we have a job, a place to live, and a car, that we're doing just fine… that everything must be okay. But I say “okay” carefully… because sometimes that feeling of being just okay can actually be a warning sign — a quiet signal that we may be abandoning ourselves without even realizing it in the moment.https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us Fan MailThere is never just one side to a story. Every situation has layers and emotions behind it. I often say there are three stories — one person's side, the other person's side, and the truth somewhere in between. Yet even then, there is still another layer, another story waiting to be told. The more we listen and try to understand, the more we see that stories are complicated, and the truth isn't always just one thing. https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us Fan MailIt's all about our childhood experiences and what we see. We see our parents, friends, and teachers, and we see this fairytale in our minds, not the trials and tribulations. These early impressions shape our expectations and beliefs, sometimes setting us up for disappointment when reality doesn't match the storybook in our minds. https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us Fan MailWe are all working through something, but the key is to keep striving for your goals. I say goals, but most of us are doing what we are passionate about in our lives, and that's the fun part! 

Send us Fan MailSadly, it took my own grieving process to give me a clearer picture of who I should cut out of my friendship circle. I have to laugh at this because I had to distant myself from all of them. I think before my grieving process, I didn't care as much, if you call every day, speaking only of yourself. I would just say she needs so much attention, and put it on the lack of affection you weren't receiving from your significant other, or some childhood trauma. https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us Fan MailIn this podcast, I talk about how some people stay in a marriage until they can't handle it anymore. I explore the idea that we all have multiple soul mates in this life. I even talk about having multiple husbands if it comes to that, and more. 

Send us Fan MailWatch out for the nontalker when you are beginning to put yourself out there to meet and date. It says a lot, and I'm not talking about his communication style. 

Send us Fan MailA little more in-depth on this topic, like why men secretly prefer to date the so-called 'difficult woman'. We all know by now she's a woman with high standards! 

Send us Fan MailWhen you start letting things slide in a relationship, that's often when he stops showing up as a man — as a gentleman—because now you're simply going along with everything. It's important to maintain your standards so he can hold himself to them as well. I believe many relationships begin to break down when we start allowing things we once wouldn't accept, and over time, that can lead to a loss of respect. https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us Fan MailIn today's podcast, I started discussing what I believe is one of the worst types of betrayal and ended up revealing a personal secret about myself. We all have secrets, and perhaps in a future episode, I'll share more of mine. While some of my secrets may not seem troubling to others, they represent moments in my life that I wanted to change in order to achieve a happier existence. For now, though, I'll keep things light! (lol)https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us Fan MailIn this podcast, we will discuss the difference between needing a relationship and desiring one. We sometimes get confused about the two meanings, so let's talk about what it means to need or desire one. https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send a textIn this podcast, I got the question of what makes a woman a great lover in a relationship, and I'm here to answer that! I think you all want to embarrass me! I'm not shy! Anyway, I put in a few things I like to do in a relationship https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send a textI received quite a few responses from my previous podcast. Some listeners feel that I might be misreading the situation, and I understand that perspective. However, it's also possible that some of you may not want to recognize the full picture of where you truly stand in someone's life. We can't keep lying to ourselves by saying that people are just busy, that things will change, or that we're overthinking it. While this can sometimes be true, there are also moments when our intuition is trying to tell us the truth. We just need to listen, even when it hurts. https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send a textOn today's podcast, I want to discuss something that made me reflect on the nature of friendship. Recently, I overheard someone I was with talking to another friend. She often refers to this other woman as a “close friend,” but what I heard in their conversation suggested a very different dynamic than how she usually describes their relationship.https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send a textLadies, let's be honest—sometimes we sabotage a first date by trying too hard to appear perfect. Instead of being our authentic selves, we morph into someone else entirely—a version of ourselves that we barely recognize. In today's episode, we'll discuss why it's important to let go of the perfectionist act and embrace who we truly are. By doing so, we may increase our chances of landing a second date.https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send a textStandards are important because they help us protect ourselves and make better choices about the people we allow into our lives. Our standards constantly remind us that we deserve to be treated with respect. It also prevents us from having one-sided friendships or intimate relationships with partners who aren't right for us. I feel that by prioritizing ourselves and maintaining clear standards, we are less likely to accept behavior that hurts us or makes us feel unimportant.https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send a textA friend went out on a date and was told she's too much of a mom. I don't agree with that at all, but I will say, don't lose yourself! 

Send a textWe're still saying yes to every date, as I mentioned in the previous podcast. And we're still keeping our standards high. We know what we want, and we're standing on it. So yes, we'll go out with you — but if you're not the right one, we'll keep dating until the right one comes along. Because we're perfectly fine enjoying our own company — even if that means finding peace in a parking lot. https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

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Send a textWhen someone says, "Meet them where they are," it may sound mature to some, but I view it differently. To me, it suggests taking a back seat and remaining quiet, lowering your expectations, shrinking your standards, ignoring red flags, accepting less effort, and staying comfortable in a situation that isn't growing.https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send a textIt's important to be able to move on. Yes, it's gut-wrenching, but it's needed. I talked about being able to look at yourself in the mirror and if you can't... 

Send a textI have come to the conclusion that healing on our own isn't always effective. Sometimes, we need a distraction to keep our minds engaged. I understand that some of you may not agree with this perspective, and I respect that completely. However, I encourage you to listen to the entire episode and share your thoughts with me.As promised, Lady Bird Lake will be in my stories and on my Instagram page.  

Send us a textNope, it's not about him, it's the investment!! It's a the waste of time, the things that were accumulated! 

Send us a textThis is what grief looks like. You slowly remove yourself from society. You are zoned out during conversations. 

Send us a textI've been reflecting on this a lot since my mother and Lulu passed away. It has made me think about intimate relationships, leading me to conclude that if a woman is afraid of losing everything, she is more likely to choose a better partner.https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us a textWe date with good intentions, believing that it will lead to positive outcomes and a bright future. We often willingly allow him to take the lead. Sometimes this leadership guides us toward something beautiful, but other times it leads us nowhere, resulting in years wasted on a path that was never truly ours.https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us a textWe are always told to look at potential. He's doing great things; he's going somewhere, as our elder would say. He's a good man, Savannah! Well, is that a great thing to do these days? 

Send us a textIt's more important than ever to have better friendships. As I get older, I realize how much I need real friends in my life—friends who genuinely care about the relationship through both the sad times and the happy ones. I want friends who will walk through the fire with me and also dance on the tables when life is good. And honestly, I'm tired of one-sided friendships—the kind where someone talks nonstop about themselves, then goes silent the moment I start to speak. You can tell they're just waiting for their turn to talk, because their favorite subject has always been themselves. https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us a textThere's a growing trend today where many marriages resemble close friendships more than marriages. Couples are sleeping in separate bedrooms, but many aren't seeking a divorce. I would argue that it is often the husbands who are leading this trend of not fulfilling their roles as real partners. So, what is a wife to do?https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us a textThe best approach in any relationship is to be your authentic self. If someone chooses to end a relationship or friendship, it simply means the connection wasn't right for you. It's far worse to realize that someone is staying in your life only because of what you can offer them.https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us a textThis year, let's commit to our promises and resolutions. I know I will, and I'm going to be my own accountability partner. So, you be yours; it's easier because we all want the best for ourselves. So, let's do it!https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us a textAt events, the initial greeting often comes from whoever is closest or bold enough to approach—not necessarily someone who matches your vibe, intentions, or energy. Even if the energy feels right at first, don't stop there; keep mingling. A positive first impression doesn't always indicate long-term compatibility. Sometimes, it's simply a matter of excitement, attention, or timing. https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us a textI wrote a "Dear Me" letter to myself, and I want to share a part of it. In this letter, I reflect on my journey of becoming who I am. This means I am embracing the direction life is taking me without second-guessing myself. I am following my first instincts about what I want in my life and in a partner. I encourage you to write a letter to yourself as well.https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us a textI feel like it's becoming increasingly difficult to maintain friendships with the people we have known for a long time. While we understand that meeting new people can be challenging, we now find ourselves questioning our relationships within our own group.https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us a textSo many women are going through this; what makes it even sadder is that some stay for years or never leave. 

Send us a textI believe he had a wonderful time on the date, which raises questions about why he's not texting you regularly or returning your calls. I think it's important to date multiple people for this reason. So, let's discuss it!https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us a textI want you and me to be very intentional about finding friends in the New Year. From here on out, we're paying attention to how people make us feel, how they speak to us, and how they show up when it truly matters. We're no longer entertaining friendships out of habit or history. We want connections that are mutual—where the support, the effort, and the energy go both ways. No more collecting friendships just because we crossed paths with someone. If she's not aligned with who we are, we don't need to entertain a conversation or a “maybe.” We deserve friends who share at least 90 percent of our values, lifestyle, energy, and mindset. That's the standard moving forward. https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us a textWe have to be careful when letting new friends into our lives and into our friend groups. It's just like dating — we don't introduce a new guy to our friends and family right away. The same level of caution applies when we meet new friends. Take your time before letting them all the way in. It's very important to find out who they are, what their background is, etc. https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us a textI'm still going to post episodes and will continue to do all the things I have planned. I'm finally setting up my Pateron, all I need to do is add a few things. My Instagram is going to be more of a lifestyle page, showing you all the cool things about life living in Austin. I actually have a due date for my debut novel. A car accident isn't going to stop me. 

Send us a textFriendships can resemble a beehive—there's always a queen bee at the center, her trusted henchmen nearby, and the rest of us forming the outer ring, guarding the hive and politely pretending we're on board with everything.https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us a textLadies, we need to take a real look at what it means to be in a long-term relationship with no wedding proposal in sight. With the holidays approaching, I know many of you are wondering the same thing — will this finally be the year? I'm going to share a list of honest reasons that may help you understand whether a proposal is actually coming or not. https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us a textI believe this is worth contemplating. Who is the real winner in this scenario? What really happens to him when you're not there anymore?https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us a textIt was a listener's question. I don't think they were being mean-spirited; I think they were just concerned because my mom and Lulu aren't here anymore.https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us a textHoliday magic has a way of clouding our judgment. The twinkling lights, cozy nights, and festive excitement can make every connection feel deeper than it really is. But just because the season feels magical doesn't mean the person you're with is truly right for you. The real question is: how can you tell if he's genuinely a good match, or if you're just caught up in the holiday charm? https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us a textSome men don't stop taking until you stop giving. As long as you keep showing up, he'll keep using you. He'll drain your last bit of dignity if you let him. He'll drag your name you up and down the street if you let him. So don't just say you're done — show it. https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us a textLadies, here's what happens when you start to be the provider in your relationship. https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/

Send us a textThe dating scene may appear to be declining, but this often happens when you lower your standards. Many men today expect women to be the providers while they benefit from the women's efforts and finances. Ladies, maintain your standards and stop entertaining men who offer nothing but excuses. Remember, you are not their safety net. https://www.instagram.com/traceylau99/