TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

We have now heard from almost everyone involved in the Chappel Roan security guard controversy, and everyone seems surprisingly reasonable. Plus, Luke is digging the Justin Bieber's music at recent performance at Coachella, and Andrew makes a fool of himself with a local reporter. And a listener brings some FACTS when it comes to "the sound of lightning." 

Luke's frustrating saga trying to return a set of dishes has him reconsidering his shopping style. Andrew is excited to bring some "Celebrity Birthday Segment" energy to TBTL. And former NYC Mayor / fraudster Eric Adams is trying to bump Luke lower down the list of famous Albanian-Americans. 

The Mariners finally unveiled a statue honoring Ichiro Suzuki on Friday, but the big reveal didn't go exactly as planned… We also get updates on the TBTL Junior Jalapenos and puppy/kitty relations in Andrew's house. 

A Seattle judge has lost his judging privileges after forging a fake document to  get a parking discount, and Luke and Andrew have a Freaky Friday-esque reaction to it. Plus, Andrew has an update on day two of puppy training. 

Andrew brought home a puppy yesterday and has all the details about her first night with him and Genevieve.  Plus, CBS has announced its programming lineup that will replace Stephen Colbert, and Luke is not impressed, to say the least. 

Luke got to experience one of his favorite Tiktok videos in real life last night after attending a jazz show. Andrew is excited to pick up his new puppy this afternoon! And a listener has questions after observing a jogger's odd behavior. 

Andrew got a postcard in the mail yesterday that he was not happy to receive. Luke is in Los Angeles, where he's worried about the billboard economy. And they discuss a fascinating Seattle Times article profiling a long-standing business that has always piqued their interest. (And, it turns out, Luke's dad is a customer!) 

Australia officially has officially enshrined the famous "succulent Chinese meal" audio that went viral after decades of being lost. Luke and Andrew also receive a poetic update on the TBTL Junior Slugger's first little league game of the season! 

Andrew visited a house full of foster puppies yesterday and has a full report. Plus, Genevieve had her court hearing today regarding a ticket she received while chasing down her lost phone. She joins the show to let us know how it turned out. And the TBTL Junior Sluggers have a new name, a new logo, and a lot of pizazz! We get the latest as they gear up for their first game this weekend. 

Luke and Andrew discuss the Seattle airport's misguided and expensive efforts to rebrand. They also watch the video of a Texas judge bullying an IT worker who's just trying to help him out. 

Luke finally heard from the court about the erroneous parking ticket he received. He's somewhat satisfied with the results. He and Andrew also discuss the end of the A.I. app called Sora, which could let anyone make convincing deep fakes depicting real people. And, speaking of robots, Luke is ready for them to fully take over at least one aspect of Major League Baseball.

Luke pays homage to John Hinterberger, a Seattle writer he grew up reading and who represents a more adventurous era of newspaper publishing. Meanwhile, Andrew and Genevieve had their first appointment with a dog rescue organization yesterday. While Andrew is ready to take the process slowly, Luke has other ideas for him. 

Andrew is back from Hawaii, where he had a wonderful time but a wistful goodbye. Luke gets him up to speed on the latest Chappell Roan controversy. Luke also discusses his experience at the "No Kings" rally this weekend in Portland. And they look back on their epic TBTL boat trip from 11 years ago.  

Luke gets into it with the people sitting next to him at Opening Night, but Becca has his back, plus David From the Basement stops by to explain why Stephen Colbert is writing the next Lord of the Rings film.

Luke and Andrew dive into some listener voicemails, including one involving an angry Russian widow and another that leaves Andrew bumfuzzled. 

Luke has a big issue with an office place tradition. Andrew turns to his enemy, AI, to see if it has any solutions. They also discuss the now-solved mystery of the British man who turned blue overnight. 

Luke had a bad experience with a can of Coke yesterday and now wants a moratorium on new soda flavors. Plus, an anonymous listener provides the definitive "How bad do you have to poop?' scale. 

With Andrew out of town, Luke is joined by TBTL Employee Numero Uno, Jon Sklaroff. Jon provides an update on life with a new puppy and the two discuss why the NBA is actually good and Seattle should be excited to see the Sonics come back. And Luke details a foolproof plan to get the goods at Blockbuster.

Luke and Andrew are feeling giddy on the first day of Spring! Luke is breaking out a fresh Sponge Mommy for the occasion, and Andrew is preparing for a real Shandy Summer. They also get the fascinating background of the famous "Did You Ever Have A Dream" viral video. 

Luke and Andrew discuss AfroMan's recent court victory against the cops who were suing him for defamation. It's a complicated win. Luke also reveals his skill for knowing whether or not a fast food restaurant sells Coke or Pepsi products.

An article about Doodles peaked Luke's attention AND taught him his new favorite word. Plus, Coach Ben unveils the lineup for the new season of TBTL Junior Sluggers baseball! 

Luke introduces Andrew to the newest, hottest St. Patrick's day ritual, which involves milk jugs filled with green booze. Plus, Andrew is trying to figure out what to do after a cyclone caused massive damage to the Hawaiian town he's planning on visiting next week.  Photo via "Chicago Bars".

Luke's mom, Susie, joins the show to talk cybersecurity, old Kingdome food vendors, and what happens when you "take your tongue on a sleigh ride." Plus, Luke saw a "hyprov" show this weekend, which combines hypnosis and Improv. And he and Andrew discuss Matthew Berry's appearance with Conan O'Brien at the Oscars last night.

Luke says he wants to start golfing more this summer, which of course leads to a long conversation about all of Andrew's childhood vehicles -- including a personal golf cart. They also discuss the snow that's falling in Seattle on a very special Friday The 13th. 

Luke honed his DJ skills at an art show yesterday, while Andrew was at home making the worst meal of his life. Luke's also been very much enjoying the new Stephen Conrad show, DTF: St. Louis.

Luke's favorite ambient noise may be giving him bad dreams. But the really weird thing is that Andrew's been having the SAME bad dreams. Also, a hump-inflating scandal is rattling the world of camel pageants, and the story of two  baseball players not shaking hands has led to more drama than expected. And Andrew, with the help of an eagle-eyed listener, is celebrating a very special anniversary today. 

Luke had a scary moment this morning while trying to clean his water bottles, but he caught it all on tape. Andrew learns that his once-nemesis is a huge  deal on Bluesky. And they discuss the World Baseball Classic and why Andrew is rooting for Team Mexico. 

Luke spent the weekend trying to escape O'Hare airport, while Andrew spent the weekend trying to escape from an evil magician's dressing room. Plus, Luke is mad at A.I. for lying on his behalf, and an overseas listener takes us on an audio journey. 

Genevieve joins the show to discuss her court plans after she learns she was ticketed during Operation Bus Chase. She also explains why she's so angry about her astrological sign, even though she doesn't believe in that stuff. Meanwhile, Luke is vibing off of Detlef Schrempf's Instagram feed, and Andrew learns he might be Baz To The Bone. 

Luke had an emotional and educational experience at the Chicago Art Museum this morning. Andrew is disappointed that his perfectly calculated Bluesky post isn't going viral. And the Tens of Listeners are bringing sexy back to the Blursdays segment. 

Andrew is concerned about some pickles that he bought, so he does a taste-test on the air. Speaking of taste tests, he and Luke also dissect the viral video of McDonalds' CEO trying to eat a burger like a normal person. They also discuss going to the bathroom on airplanes and things the bible taught them about wine.

Andrew saw something completely bonkers in a 1991 episode of Columbo, and he's trying to get to the bottom of it. Luke finds himself placing sports bets on the definitely-not-sports-betting app Kalshi. Luke and Andrew also have important updates on their respective traffic court appeals. 

Luke and Andrew have some ideas on how to fix the internet. And newspapers. They also share the personal videos that they made for each other regarding Luke's newish Roku. And Luke is about to fight city hall over a parking ticket, and he can't wait. 

Luke's attempts to get to the bottom of Andrew's citrus addiction leads to a bigger mystery about India's third-biggest newspaper. Plus, Luke makes plans to visit steamboat museums and chimney sweep museums during his stay in Missouri. And a listener from New Orleans calls in with an epic tale of line-cutting. 

In a desperate attempt to attract younger listeners, Luke and Andrew discuss Reader's Digest, Beetle Bailey, and Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C. at great length. Plus, Luke got kicked out of ANOTHER private event during his stay in Kansas City. And Andrew marches ever closer to adopting a dog.  

Andrew's cat is causing trouble. Luke is sick of everything being lemon flavored. Punch the Monkey is finally making friends in Japan. Mina Kimes might listen to McMillan Men (but probably won't.) And Luke and Andrew make plans for their eventual appearance on The Newlywed Game. 

Luke has a run-in with A.I. at work, and he doesn't like it. He and Andrew also discuss the phenomenal story of American gold medal figure skater Alysa Liu. And a listener takes a food related risk that nobody asked for. 

Luke had a moment that was a little embarrassing and a little gross during his jog this weekend. Andrew had another adventurous Sunday in his neighborhood. They also discuss that time Buzz Aldrin punched a guy. 

Luke and Andrew try to get to the bottom of art -- from Robert Therrien's sculptures to Lana Del Rey album covers and the most chaotic songs by the Silver Jews. Plus, Luke is obsessed with a couple of podcasting nuns, and can Rich Eisen get Andrew to like Billy Bob Thornton? 

Luke gets some answers about the mysterious creatures he spotted in the Columbia River yesterday. He and Andrew also discuss the imminent sale of the Seattle Seahawks and how they feel about that. And Luke watched the French film that Andrew's been obsessed with for the past 24 hours. (The conversation about Le Bonheur, which was mostly spoiler free, occurs between 43:00 - 1:04:00)

Andrew is pretty outraged over a judge's ruling on "boneless chicken wings." Luke discovers some unprecedented megafauna in the Columbia River below his house. They also get into some TV talk (Luke is enjoying Neighbors and The Other Two on HBO) and movie talk (Andrew stumbled on an old French film yesterday that he can't get out of his head.) 

Luke has a new favorite radio station, Andrew has a new exercise routine involving a frozen water bottle, and Olympic skaters are dealing with a new issue called "music rights." Luke and Andrew also pay homage to Alan Arkin, because they apparently didn't do so when he died in 2023. They also learn the deep, dark secret that Tony! Toni! Toné! doesn't want you to know. 

Luke had more dog-related adventures than expected during his Valentine's weekend. Andrew spent Saturday hauling bowling alley wood into his garage. And former Morning Edition host David Greene is suing Google for using his voice for their AI slop. 

Luke made the mistake of signing up for a store-sponsored credit card, and boy oh boy does he regret it. Meanwhile, Andrew is still learning the basics of online shopping and making some rookie mistakes. They also discuss Chipotle's decision to raise its prices and target wealthier customers. And listeners set the record straight on the history of Iron Mountain…and some of the calls are coming from inside the mountain! 

Luke and Andrew talk about the parade that Andrew didn't attend yesterday and the pizza shop in LA that Luke did visit. They also talk about why Olympic medals keep falling off the athletes in Italy. 

Luke came back to his hotel room to find a hand-written note on his pillow, which leads him and Andrew on a fact-finding mission. They also discuss their weird aversion to loyalty programs, as well as Bingo's big trip to the vet today.

Luke and Andrew talk about home renovation, Super Bowl commercials, Faygo Rock 'n' Rye, and why you might not want to leave your girl with Mr. Pibb. They also receive an amazing story from Sweden involving a crime-fighting Mary Lou Henner type. 

Luke and Andrew both experienced some projector-related issues during the Super Bowl yesterday, but that didn't stop them from celebrating another huge victory for the Seahawks! They also weigh-in on what most football fans are discussing today: The faulty design of modern tissue boxes. 

Luke and Andrew prep for the Super Bowl the only way they know how: By talking about referees, cats, and Wordle. Plus, Luke gives Andrew the impossible Seattle Times Seahawks quiz that's got him steamed.

Andrew feels like a fish out of water as he joins the show from a college campus today. He and Luke discuss a mysterious billboard in Northern California, the Choose Your Own Adventure books of their youth, and how rude parking habits led to the Epstein Files. 

Andrew received The Saddest 3-Panel Comic Strip in the mail yesterday, and does his best to describe it to Luke. They also discuss the terrible fan jerseys being released for the Super Bowl. And Luke laments the current state of Red Robin cheese sticks.