The Generous Husband Daily Rant

This is not a marriage post, but it is something you should discuss with your wife before you implement it. As background, I grew up in the South where hugging is a big deal. Some men hugged me, as did many women. Some wanted... The post The Gift of Human Touch appeared first on The Generous Husband.

I've been watching the slow-motion train wreck of Elon Musk trying to run Twitter. Musk is unquestionably a very smart guy. As far as schooling he has Bachelor's degrees in physics and economics. But he has taught himself a great deal about electric cars... The post Everyone Needs Advice For Something appeared first on The Generous Husband.

It's time once again for my annual rant about the holidays. I happen to love the holidays. Thanksgiving and Christmas are great times with family and on New Year's day, we watch all of the extended versions of The Lord of the Rings with... The post Protect Your Family From The Holidays! appeared first on The Generous Husband.

If your marriage is stuck you can either try something new or wait for your spouse to try something new. #MarriageTip ~ TMB Twitter No one likes to change. But if you don't like how something is, making a change is the only way... The post Will You Wait, Talk, Or Take Action? appeared first on The Generous Husband.

So guys, when you make love with your wife, are you a generous lover? This is tricky because what would make a man a generous lover for one woman would not make him a generous lover for many other women. Even worse, what your... The post Are You A Generous Lover? appeared first on The Generous Husband.

We all hate being on the short end of double standards. And we all do it to other folks. One easily missed double standard is how we excuse ourselves and others due to being tired, stressed, or insanely busy. Most of us give ourselves... The post Friday Flashback: Double Standards Of A Different Kind appeared first on The Generous Husband.

Forty years ago I was in my first auto accident. I was first in line at a red light. When the light turned green, I hit the gas. As I entered the intersection I realised the car on the street to my left wasn't... The post It Wasn't My Fault, But I Could Have Avoided It appeared first on The Generous Husband.

Yesterday I talked about our Christmas music as a tradition. Couple traditions are a good thing for your marriage! Lori and I have orange rolls and bacon for brunch on Thanksgiving and Christmas before we join the rest of the family for the day.... The post Do You Have Couple Traditions? appeared first on The Generous Husband.

Last night we started the Christmas music. Usually, it starts November 1st or the first decent snow, whichever comes last. But this year both of those passed without any Yule tunes.  I changed operating systems last spring, moving to Ubuntu. Moving my music was... The post Take Time To Make Life Better appeared first on The Generous Husband.

What a lot of wives would like from their husbands is a bit more couple time. Intimate time together, but probably not sex. In a world where busyness is seen as a virtue, stopping to spend time with your wife is radical, counter-cultural, and... The post Stop, In The Name of Love appeared first on The Generous Husband.

The most commonly used Greek word translated as sin means “to miss the mark”. It is either an archery term or refers to spear-throwing, depending on the source you use. I like the idea of sin being missing the mark because it makes sin... The post Missing The Mark appeared first on The Generous Husband.

In my How You Ask Why Matters post over on The XY Code, Tory mentioned that research has found “why” can be a hot-button word. Why can sound accusatory, even when that's not the intention. You can try to phrase the question to avoid... The post Ask What Rather Than Why About Sex appeared first on The Generous Husband.

Clashing standards and expectations can cause a plethora of marriage problems. One place where differences can be especially harmful is the bedroom. Because sex is so personal, our sexual standards and expectations feel very personal. When expectations aren't met, or standards are violated, it... The post Friday Flashback: Sexpectations appeared first on The Generous Husband.

Humans are given to complaining about what we don't like. Unfortunately, most of us aren't nearly as given to praising what we like.  When Lori and I started doing what we do online, we got more complaints than praise. Fortunately, we knew folks with... The post Complaining: It's What We Do. appeared first on The Generous Husband.

There are places where we have limits on the minimum that is acceptable. And we rightly have these in our marriages. You have such lines and so does your wife. Some of those lines are based on reasonable things, some are not. If you're... The post When Lines Move, Update Your Wife appeared first on The Generous Husband.

As Lori got over her surgery, she wasn't doing nearly as much as usual. That of course is right and necessary. She felt bad that I was having to do things she normally does, but I had no problem with it. One evening as... The post Because Something Is Good appeared first on The Generous Husband.

As the days get shorter and the sun doesn't rise as high in the sky, a bit of warm light can make a real difference in how we feel while we are stuck inside.  Candles are generally thought of as a female thing. I... The post Better To Light a Candle… appeared first on The Generous Husband.

I was listening to my wife and son, both introverts, talk about their need for quiet alone time. As an ambivert, I have to just accept their reality as valid.  There are exceptions, but in most marriages, one is an extrovert and the other... The post Introverts Need Alone Time appeared first on The Generous Husband.

In Stand Up For What's Right, Regardless I said that “when we choose to continue in a dysfunctional marriage we give our children and those around us a bad example. We also send a bad message to the world.” That very much applies to... The post Stand Up For Sex Because It's Right appeared first on The Generous Husband.

Aside from the good surprise kind, secrets have no place in a marriage. If your wife knows you're keeping secrets it's hurting your marriage. If she suspects you are keeping secrets that will hurt your marriage too.  What qualifies as a secret? Pretty much... The post Friday Flashback: Got Secrets? Stop. appeared first on The Generous Husband.

It's sadly common for me to see men here and women on the XY Code say “I'd like to do that, but my spouse…” I've seen this about doing something or doing more of it. I've also seen about not doing something or doing... The post Don't Be A Victim Of Your Spousumstances appeared first on The Generous Husband.

This post is a special case of what I talked about yesterday in Stand Up For What's Right, Regardless. Many moms are overprotective of their sons. Maybe they do okay when the boy is young, but don't adjust as he grows up. Part of... The post Stand Up For Your Sons Even If It Costs You appeared first on The Generous Husband.

I recently had a dream that I'm going to use as the basis for a couple of posts here and over on The XY Code.  In the dream, I was a teenager and I had a girlfriend. The girl in my dream was not... The post Stand Up For What's Right, Regardless. appeared first on The Generous Husband.

Do you always feel run over by the holidays come January? It's run, rush, and hurry from Thanksgiving till January. When you do too much you don't enjoy most of it. In addition to not getting to enjoy what you do, you don't get... The post It's Time to Take Back the Holidays! appeared first on The Generous Husband.

I was at a marriage seminar today. You will be hearing more about and from that in the next couple of weeks. The speaker started by talking about cultural and church myths about marriage that hurt couples. The attendees had no problem coming up... The post Step Away From The Marriage Myths appeared first on The Generous Husband.

I've never been shy about letting y'all know I enjoy a great sex life with my wife. Part of the reason for it being what it is would be the fact that Lori is generous about everything, including sex. But that's not the most... The post A Wife Who Wants & Enjoys Sex appeared first on The Generous Husband.

Are you a man of your word? I don't (just) mean at work and among your friends – are you a man of your word with your wife? When you say you will do something, do you do it? Do you do it when... The post Friday Flashback: Be a Man of Your Word appeared first on The Generous Husband.

When people talk about compromise, they usually mean something more or less halfway between what the two people involved want. So if she wants to eat out daily, and he wants to do it once a week, then doing it four times a week... The post Reject The Straight Line Halfway Compromise appeared first on The Generous Husband.

Do you know someone who everyone knows can be counted on to do whatever anyone needs? Those people are like that because they haven't learned to put their own health and welfare ahead of what others want from them. And many of them have... The post Do You Say No When You Should? appeared first on The Generous Husband.

The past is never dead. It's not even past. ~ William Faulkner in Requiem for a Nun Faulkner is correct – our past is never really dead. When we try to bury it, it crawls out and comes back like a zombie. This can... The post Are Zombies Attacking Your Marriage? appeared first on The Generous Husband.

Our good weather is going to hold for another week here and I saw some couples this Sunday taking the opportunity to go for a stroll together. If your weather allows it, go for a hand-in-hand or arm-in-arm walk with your wife this week.... The post Take A Little Walk appeared first on The Generous Husband.

What if your wife only did for you things you thanked her for the last time she did that thing? What things would she no longer be doing? While the cause and effect are not that clear, the reality is being thanked for doing... The post What If “Thank You” Changes Behaviour? appeared first on The Generous Husband.

This is a follow-up on Thursday's Have You Lost That Loving Habit? post.  Good, regular sex is very much about habit. It's part of what the couple does and they make room for it in both their minds and their schedules. That doesn't necessarily... The post Have You Lost That Sex Habit? appeared first on The Generous Husband.

This is my final post based on information from When Baby Makes Three, the 2011 State of Our Unions a report from the National Marriage Project. The study showed something interesting about income. How much money a couple had was far less important than how much... The post Friday Flashback: How Money & Housework Affect Marriage appeared first on The Generous Husband.

Habit is an interesting thing. We make habits without meaning to and we can also lose them just as easily. Lori and I used to go to movies, in a theatre, fairly often. Covid caused us to lose that habit and we've not picked... The post Have You Lost That Loving Habit? appeared first on The Generous Husband.

I have very good hearing. But I've never been able to “tune things out” the way some folks can do. This makes me prone to being annoyed by sounds. However, I've learned that my annoyance is not just based on the sounds around me.... The post Don't Take It Out On Your Wife appeared first on The Generous Husband.

When you live with someone day in and day out it's easy to become less aware of them and what they are doing. We easily become habituated to people who are there all the time. This is a good thing in that we're not... The post Be More Aware Of Your Wife appeared first on The Generous Husband.

What does your wife usually do that you could do to help her out, show you love her, or just be kind? Do that now and then with one thing or several things. Or pick one thing to make your job all the time.... The post Let Me Take Off Your Plate appeared first on The Generous Husband.

I don't talk a lot about my life outside of my marriage or things which I can use to make a point about marriage. I figure it's not why you're here. But today will be all about me. If you want to know me... The post Loving My Life appeared first on The Generous Husband.

Helen Fisher's third way of leveraging neurochemistry to maintain romantic love and form a deep attachment in long-term relationships is to have regular sex and other physical contact. These things increase levels of the hormone oxytocin.  Oxytocin has been called the love hormone. Calling... The post Sex Is Good For Your Marriage appeared first on The Generous Husband.

This is another post based on information from When Baby Makes Three, the 2011 State of Our Unions a report from the National Marriage Project. The report found that friends and family are a mixed bag, both helping and hurting marriages depending on their input.... The post Friday Flashback: Family And Friends Matter To Your Marriage appeared first on The Generous Husband.

Helen Fisher's second way of leveraging neurochemistry to maintain romantic love and form a deep attachment in long-term relationships is saying nice things to each other. This reduces cortisol, which is sometimes called the stress hormone. Cortisol is an important hormone that helps to... The post Say Nice Things To Your Wife appeared first on The Generous Husband.

I did some reading on anthropologist Helen Fisher for a post on The XY Code. Fisher has studied brain chemistry for decades, looking at how it affects our personalities and relationships. She says couples can improve their relationship by leveraging neurochemistry. She suggests three... The post Share Novel Experiences For a Better Marriage appeared first on The Generous Husband.

I find that some men think the phrase “physical intimacy” means sex, and only sex. For example, the fellow who said, “My wife wants to hug me, but rejects all physical intimacy.” Wikipedia has a good definition for this: Physical intimacy is sensual proximity... The post Sex Is Just One Part Of Physical Intimacy appeared first on The Generous Husband.

As Lori went through the whole diagnosis, investigation, and surgery associated with her uterus being a real bitch to her, I touched her a great deal. I touched her hand to comfort her when she was worried. Or I gave her a long hug.... The post Touch Is a Loving Act appeared first on The Generous Husband.

Lori and I have been taking a weekly Sabbath rest for eight and a half years. What that means is one day a week, Wednesday for us, we do no work. We check comments on our blogs, but otherwise, do no work on them.... The post What Sabbath Has Taught Me appeared first on The Generous Husband.

I saw a study that looked at how stimulating various parts of a woman's anatomy showed up in her brain. The researchers were surprised that stimulation of the nipples causes the area of the brain associated with the genitals to respond. The researchers said... The post Science Says Play With Her Nipples. So Did God. appeared first on The Generous Husband.

This is another post based on information from When Baby Makes Three, the 2011 State of Our Unions a report from the National Marriage Project. The report has some encouraging things to say about the importance of faith, and more specifically shared faith, with regards to... The post Friday Flashback: About That Shared Walk Thing appeared first on The Generous Husband.

Gatekeeping happens in areas other than sex. Where in your marriage are you a gatekeeper? #MarriageQuestion ~ TMB Twitter The word gatekeeper is usually associated with sex. But it simply means limiting or preventing access, and that can be done with many things. Some... The post Sex Isn't The Only Thing Kept Behind A Gate appeared first on The Generous Husband.

You do certain things for your wife because you love her and want her to be happy. This is right and proper. What do you NOT do for her? Much of what makes a marriage good is what we don't do because we know... The post What Do You NOT DO For Her? appeared first on The Generous Husband.

I recall being in a meeting where one woman said far more than she needed to say. As I left, a fellow who was thirty said to me “She just needs to feel heard.” I wish I'd been that wise at his age! I'm... The post The Need To Be Heard appeared first on The Generous Husband.