The Good Fail

Today we're bringing you the final episode of the current series and taking a look back at some to the topics we've discussed over the last year, asking how we can put what we've learned into practice. HOW DO WE FEEL ABOUT THE GOOD FAIL NOW THAT WE'RE 3 SERIES IN?  We've discussed a wide range of topics over the last three series and in our current times The Good Fail feels like an important source to draw from. HOW CAN THAT GOOD FAIL TOOL BOX HELP US WITH LIKE THE WORLD BASICALLY ENDING? We've not always taken our own advice on this podcast but unlearning PERFECTION and practicing PERSEVERANCE is a good place to start.  WHAT OTHER TOOLS DO WE HAVE IN OUR BOX? We talk through what we've learned about OWNING IT, RESILIENCE and KNOWING OURSELVES to better help ourselves grow and change more effectively.  DOESN'T THAT SOUND LIKE A LOT OF EFFORT? It's always going to be one step at a time. Finding POSITIVITY and remembering the alchemical process of NEGREDO might help. CAN POSITIVITY REALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE AT A TIME LIKE THIS? Our situation won't change but our perspective on our situation will. While the world seems to be going through it's own NEGREDO process we've also found GRATITUDE a powerful tool to staying present. WHAT CAN WE CONCLUDE ON ALL THIS? We can definitely, 100% succeed at doing The Good Fail during a world wide pandemic by adjusting our EXPECTATIONS, being kind, GENEROUS and FORGIVING to ourselves and others. WHAT'S OUR RECOMMENDATION FOR THIS WEEK? Use the links in our shownotes to revisit all our previous recommendations and subscribe to the Good Fail podcast to listen from the beginning.  SUPPORT THE SHOW You can become an official supporter of the show by joining our Good Fail club on Patreon. Visit: https://my.captivate.fm/www.patreon.com/thegoodfail (www.patreon.com/thegoodfail) FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA If you're not tired of us yet, you can also find us in these social places: Instagram - https://my.captivate.fm/dashboard/@thegood_fail (@thegood_fail) https://www.instagram.com/pretty_messy_co/ (@pretty_messy_co) https://www.instagram.com/merlemade_tales/ (@merlemade_tales) Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/TheGoodFailers/ (@thegoodfailers) https://www.facebook.com/merlemadetales/ (@merlemadetales) Twitter - https://my.captivate.fm/dashboard/@thegood_fail (@thegood_fail ) Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.co.uk/merlehunt/ (@merlemadetales) The Web - http://merlemadetales.com/ (www.merlemadetales.com) MUSIC FOR THE GOOD FAIL BY: https://filmmusic.io "Dreamy Flashback" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Support this podcast

Today we want to ask whether our low self esteem is impacting on how well we can do the Good Fail? And what we can do to remind ourselves we're all awesome creations. DOES LOW SELF ESTEEM EFFECT HOW WE DO THE GOOD FAIL? Yes, self esteem does effect us doing the Good Fail. HOW HAS LOW SELF ESTEEM EFFECTED US? We definitely suffer from low self esteem and this has held us back from opportunities. There is an inner narrative that we will always fail that unconsciously shapes our reality. SHALL WE INTRODUCE THE CONCEPT OF THE INNER CRITIC? Tara Mohr's book Playing Big calls this inner voice our Inner Critic and she has this to say about it:  We don't need to have had particular life experiences to develop a harsh inner critic. We're hard wired for it. The inner critic is an expression of the safety instinct in us - the part of us that wants to stay safe from potential emotional risk - from hurt, failure, criticism, disappointment, or rejection by the tribe. CAN WE EXPLORE THE LINK BETWEEN LOW SELF ESTEEM AND THE INNER CRITIC MORE? The Inner Critic is motivated by keeping us safe from emotional pain and in doing so is happy for low self esteem to keep us from taking risks. IS IT POSSIBLE TO BUILD UP OUR SELF ESTEEM BY GETTING RID OF THE INNER CRITIC? It is unlikely we can get rid of it completely. Separating its voice from our own is vital and then we can work on building our self esteem. WHAT CAN WE CONCLUDE FROM ALL THIS? That by recognising and separating the voice of the Inner Critic from ourselves we can start to build our self esteem which is vital for failure. WHAT'S OUR RECOMMENDATION FOR THIS WEEK? https://www.taramohr.com/the-playing-big-book/ (Playing Big) by Tara Mohr Still working through this book but the work on the inner critic alone makes it worth reading. SUPPORT THE SHOW You can become an official supporter of the show by joining our Good Fail club on Patreon. Visit: https://my.captivate.fm/www.patreon.com/thegoodfail (www.patreon.com/thegoodfail) FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA If you're not tired of us yet, you can also find us in these social places: Instagram - https://my.captivate.fm/dashboard/@thegood_fail (@thegood_fail) https://www.instagram.com/pretty_messy_co/ (@pretty_messy_co) https://www.instagram.com/merlemade_tales/ (@merlemade_tales) Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/TheGoodFailers/ (@thegoodfailers) https://www.facebook.com/merlemadetales/ (@merlemadetales) Twitter - https://my.captivate.fm/dashboard/@thegood_fail (@thegood_fail ) Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.co.uk/merlehunt/ (@merlemadetales) The Web - http://merlemadetales.com/ (www.merlemadetales.com) MUSIC FOR THE GOOD FAIL BY: https://filmmusic.io "Dreamy Flashback" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Support this podcast

Today we're discussing how society has taught us to value the revenge narrative over the redemptive one and how that might effect us in doing the Good Fail. HOW DID WE COME UP WITH THIS TOPIC FOR THE GOOD FAIL? It all started with a discussion about the ending of a TV series. WHAT WAS THIS DRAMA THEN? Gold Digger. It was about a rich, older woman meeting and falling in love with a younger man. Much mystery surrounds the young mans past and his intentions. THAT SOUNDS NICE BUT WHERE IS THIS LEADING? By the end of the series we were convinced that someone was going to commit murder. But the ending was more radical then that! Our female heroine instead practiced forgiveness. BUT WHY WERE WE SO CONVINCED MURDER WOULD BE INVOLVED? Popular culture has come to revere the revenge narrative. This has skewed out perspective. Gold Digger broke this convention, as did another recent TV series, I May Destroy You. STILL DON'T QUITE SEE HOW THIS RELATES TO THE GOOD FAIL? Our culture sees revenge as action based and forgiveness as passive. This relates to The Good Fail because a similar relationship plays out between success and failure. Success=active and meaningful. Failure=passive and out of our control. IS THERE A WAY TO MAKE FAILURE A POWERFUL CHOICE? How many of us are mean to ourselves when we fail? Instead of taking revenge on ourselves this way we could choose to forgive ourselves instead.  WHAT CAN WE CONCLUDE FROM ALL THIS? Both forgiveness and failure are seen as being passive but there are examples of both being very powerful and full of the meaning we crave. WHAT'S OUR RECOMMENDATION FOR THIS WEEK? https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p07ptcxc (Gold Digger) by Marnie Dickens  https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episodes/m000jyxy/i-may-destroy-you (I May Destroy) You by Michaela Coel  SUPPORT THE SHOW You can become an official supporter of the show by joining our Good Fail club on Patreon. Visit: https://my.captivate.fm/www.patreon.com/thegoodfail (www.patreon.com/thegoodfail) FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA If you're not tired of us yet, you can also find us in these social places: Instagram - https://my.captivate.fm/dashboard/@thegood_fail (@thegood_fail) https://www.instagram.com/pretty_messy_co/ (@pretty_messy_co) https://www.instagram.com/merlemade_tales/ (@merlemade_tales) Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/TheGoodFailers/ (@thegoodfailers) https://www.facebook.com/merlemadetales/ (@merlemadetales) Twitter - https://my.captivate.fm/dashboard/@thegood_fail (@thegood_fail ) Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.co.uk/merlehunt/ (@merlemadetales) The Web - http://merlemadetales.com/ (www.merlemadetales.com) MUSIC FOR THE GOOD FAIL BY: https://filmmusic.io "Dreamy Flashback" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Support this podcast

Today we're exploring who building resilience can help us feel more confident in our ability to cope with whatever life throws at us. HOW DOES RESILIENCE DIFFER FROM PERSEVERANCE? We reference Monty Python and Brene Brown as we discuss how much we need resilience in order to persevere but why relying on our resilience might not always be the best policy.  WHY IS RESILIENCE IMPORTANT TO THE GOOD FAIL? It may be a cornerstone of doing the good fail but we haven't really acknowledged its importance until now and we go on to talk about how impossible it would be to keep going through the hard times without it.  HOW CAN WE BE MORE RESILIENT?  The good news is resilience can definitely be cultivated and we run through what steps we should take to build that resilience. But in a funny way it has more to do with letting down then building up.  WHAT CAN WE CONCLUDE FROM ALL THIS?  Resilience might just be our unsung hero and we'll let you know why.  WHAT'S OUR RECOMMENDATION FOR THIS WEEK?  https://www.breathemagazine.com (Breathe Magazine) Issue 27 had a great article about resilience in it which gave us inspiration for this episode and is an all round brilliant slow living mag. SUPPORT THE SHOW You can become an official supporter of the show by joining our Good Fail club on Patreon. Visit: https://my.captivate.fm/www.patreon.com/thegoodfail (www.patreon.com/thegoodfail) FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA If you're not tired of us yet, you can also find us in these social places: Instagram - https://my.captivate.fm/dashboard/@thegood_fail (@thegood_fail) https://www.instagram.com/pretty_messy_co/ (@pretty_messy_co) https://www.instagram.com/merlemade_tales/ (@merlemade_tales) Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/TheGoodFailers/ (@thegoodfailers) https://www.facebook.com/merlemadetales/ (@merlemadetales) Twitter - https://my.captivate.fm/dashboard/@thegood_fail (@thegood_fail ) Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.co.uk/merlehunt/ (@merlemadetales) The Web - http://merlemadetales.com/ (www.merlemadetales.com) MUSIC FOR THE GOOD FAIL BY: https://filmmusic.io "Dreamy Flashback" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Support this podcast

Today we're looking at the key role perseverance plays in doing the good fail and ask whether is is the real secret to success? CAN WE DEFINE THAT FOR OUR LISTENERS?  We give our own personal definition of perseverance, something we know quite a bit about after 10 years of striving to make a sustainable career for ourselves in the arts.  WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT? As individuals free from any overwhelmingly demonstrable signs of success we feel undeniably qualified to give you the lowdown here and after discussing just how fundamental perseverance is to not failing we also cover why we haven't brought it up until series 3!  DOES PERSEVERANCE LEAD TO SUCCESS? When we feel like giving up all our ambitions because it seems easier then continuing not achieving what we want most, the thought that persevering might be the magic door that inevitably leads us to our dreams of success is pretty tantalising right?! We let our listeners in on how likely that is as a theory and how much it's an absence of abject failure.  SHOULD EVERYONE PERSEVERE MORE?  It's important to know why you're persevering: Is it the expectations of others driving you to persevere at something you don't want? Or is it something that you can find joy in even when you also want to give up on it? Persevering may not always be the right answer. Here Merle explains why persevering at running her own business is the right choice for her.  WHAT CAN WE CONCLUDE FROM ALL THIS? Persevering may be the messy bit in between all we ever dreamed of and everything we've had to say goodbye to but at The Good Fail that is the best way to succeed.  WHAT'S OUR RECOMMENDATION FOR THIS WEEK? https://indieroller.com (The Indie Roller) https://www.instagram.com/keep_going_indieroller/ (@keep_going_indieroller) A community for small, indie businesses packed with resources. Plus its unofficial motto is “Keep Going”. SUPPORT THE SHOW You can become an official supporter of the show by joining our Good Fail club on Patreon. Visit: https://my.captivate.fm/www.patreon.com/thegoodfail (www.patreon.com/thegoodfail) FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA If you're not tired of us yet, you can also find us in these social places: Instagram - https://my.captivate.fm/dashboard/@thegood_fail (@thegood_fail) https://www.instagram.com/pretty_messy_co/ (@pretty_messy_co) https://www.instagram.com/merlemade_tales/ (@merlemade_tales) Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/TheGoodFailers/ (@thegoodfailers) https://www.facebook.com/merlemadetales/ (@merlemadetales) Twitter - https://my.captivate.fm/dashboard/@thegood_fail (@thegood_fail ) Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.co.uk/merlehunt/ (@merlemadetales) The Web - http://merlemadetales.com/ (www.merlemadetales.com) MUSIC FOR THE GOOD FAIL BY: https://filmmusic.io "Dreamy Flashback" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Support this podcast

Today we're exploring the idea of rewards, as described by author Gretchen Rubin, and asking whether it can be applied to The Good Fail? CAN WE CLARIFY WHY WE'LL BE TALKING ABOUT REWARDS IN THIS EPISODE? We read a book: Better Then Before by Gretchen Rubin. The way she talked about rewarding good behaviour clearly related to doing The Good Fail in our eyes. CAN YOU EXPLAIN WHAT YOU'RE GOING ON ABOUT HERE? We think a lot of people view success as a reward for hard work…we know we do! Even as we explore ways of accepting failure, we still feel like the reward for all that good failing will be success. QUOTE (from Better Then Before by Gretchen Rubin) “…I eventually concluded, rewards can actually be dangerous for habit formation…First, a reward teaches me that I wouldn't do a particular activity for it's own sake, but only to earn that reward; therefore, I learn to associate that activity with an imposition, a deprivation, or suffering.” This clearly relates to how we view failure and success. WHERE DOES THIS VIEW COME FROM? Many aspects of our culture have rammed this idea home in the form of books, films and TV shows. Even the legacy of our ancestors may have had an impact.  HOW CAN WE SWITCH OUR MINDSET ON THIS? QUOTE (from Better Then Before by Gretchen Rubin) “We are extrinsically motivated when we do an activity to get an external reward (a carrot) or to avoid an external punishment (a stick); we're intrinsically motivated when we pursue an activity for its own sake. Drawing on intrinsic motivation makes us far more likely to stick to a behaviour, and find it satisfying.” We need to see failure as worth experiencing and not as a means to the ultimate reward of success. WHAT CAN WE CONCLUDE FROM ALL THIS? By practicing the Good Fail we can find reward enough in the process. WHAT'S OUR RECOMMENDATION FOR THIS WEEK? https://gretchenrubin.com/books/better-than-before/about-the-book/ (Better then Before) by Gretchen Rubin A book that helps find out how to work with your own strengths when forming new habits as well as showing us how to do The Good Fail better. SUPPORT THE SHOW You can become an official supporter of the show by joining our Good Fail club on Patreon. Visit: https://my.captivate.fm/www.patreon.com/thegoodfail (www.patreon.com/thegoodfail) FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA If you're not tired of us yet, you can also find us in these social places: Instagram - https://my.captivate.fm/dashboard/@thegood_fail (@thegood_fail) https://www.instagram.com/pretty_messy_co/ (@pretty_messy_co) https://www.instagram.com/merlemade_tales/ (@merlemade_tales) Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/TheGoodFailers/ (@thegoodfailers) https://www.facebook.com/merlemadetales/ (@merlemadetales) Twitter - https://my.captivate.fm/dashboard/@thegood_fail (@thegood_fail ) Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.co.uk/merlehunt/ (@merlemadetales) The Web - http://merlemadetales.com/ (www.merlemadetales.com) MUSIC FOR THE GOOD FAIL BY: https://filmmusic.io "Dreamy Flashback" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Support this podcast

Today we're delving into a recent personal experience in order to show you just how much the toolkit we've been putting together on this podcast can help us embrace failure.  SO, WE WANT TO SHARE WITH YOU A REAL LIFE TALE OF THE GOOD FAIL IN ACTION. At the beginning of March we travelled to the US to visit friends, right when Corona Virus chaos was ramping up in Europe and the States. In the wake of lockdown, the plan suffered! HOW IS A STORY ABOUT OUR INTERRUPTED TRIP TO THE STATES RELEVANT TO OUR LISTENERS? Our trip highlighted key things we've been discussing on the Good Fail over the last two series and we had to put many of our Good Fail techniques to practical use. WHAT HAPPENED? A lot! Plans had to be changed last minute, experiences we had imagined ourselves having were outright cancelled, expectations were foiled and the trip was cut short! WOULD YOU CLASSIFY OUR TRIP AS A COMPLETE FAILURE? It wasn't a success in terms of meeting our expectations that's for sure! We limped towards the finish line to make the most of the time and money we had spent but it was not the glorious confection we had imagined and our return home was stressful and lacked finality. SO WHERE DID WE PUT THE GOOD FAIL INTO PRACTICE? Despite everything, we did manage to find wonderful experiences in between but only through conscious effort.  WHAT CAN WE CONCLUDE FROM ALL THIS? We were always going to have a lovely time with our friends but who knew what joy could be had from things not going as planned. We're making important discoveries on our journey with this podcast. We're not pros (yet!) but with conscious effort it really can change out lives. WHAT'S OUR RECOMMENDATION FOR THIS WEEK? Mooji's https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sOFaT3UOg8 (A Simple, Powerful Prayer in Challenging Times) on YouTube  Teaching us how a simple thank you can shift our mindset dramatically.  SUPPORT THE SHOW You can become an official supporter of the show by joining our Good Fail club on Patreon. Visit: https://my.captivate.fm/www.patreon.com/thegoodfail (www.patreon.com/thegoodfail) FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA If you're not tired of us yet, you can also find us in these social places: Instagram - https://my.captivate.fm/dashboard/@thegood_fail (@thegood_fail) https://www.instagram.com/pretty_messy_co/ (@pretty_messy_co) https://www.instagram.com/merlemade_tales/ (@merlemade_tales) Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/TheGoodFailers/ (@thegoodfailers) https://www.facebook.com/merlemadetales/ (@merlemadetales) Twitter - https://my.captivate.fm/dashboard/@thegood_fail (@thegood_fail ) Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.co.uk/merlehunt/ (@merlemadetales) The Web - http://merlemadetales.com/ (www.merlemadetales.com) MUSIC FOR THE GOOD FAIL BY: https://filmmusic.io "Dreamy Flashback" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Support this podcast

For the last episode of series two we're honestly discussing our difficulty in understanding how the act of letting go can help us achieve what we truly desire. We share two fails this week and one exciting joint success then dive right into our main topic, letting go. It always seems like the biggest paradox to suggest letting go of the idea of getting what you most fervently want is the most powerful way of having it manifest in your life. WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT IT THEN? Because it links to other episodes of The Good Fail where we spoke about planning and expectation. Also, letting go is part of doing The Good Fail. HOW DO WE DO THAT? Our image of success is almost more inflexible that our view of failure. But acknowledging what we want to succeed at most is an important step in letting it go. If we can't articulate our desires it's hard to change our perspective on it. BUT REALLY, HOW DO WE DO THAT? We need to confront the idea of 100% failing at something and accept that as an outcome. And then fail a few times to see that we can survive it. Because discovering success is slippery like water and not set in stone might open us up to the possibility of finding success in unexpected places. WHAT CAN WE CONCLUDE? We need to remember that it's not about letting go of what we really desire but how we allow it to find us that is key. WHAT'S OUR RECOMMENDATION? https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com (The Four Tendencies Quiz) by Gretchen Rubin. Find out how you respond to inner and outer expectations and learn how you can work with your innate self in order to work better at life. Also mentioned in this episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-3CB4_a33o (The Four Rules of Life that Change Your View of Everything) by Vishen Lakhiani. SUPPORT THE SHOW You can become an official supporter of the show by joining our Good Fail club on Patreon. Visit: https://my.captivate.fm/www.patreon.com/thegoodfail (www.patreon.com/thegoodfail) FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA If you're not tired of us yet, you can also find us in these social places: Instagram - https://my.captivate.fm/dashboard/@thegood_fail (@thegood_fail) https://www.instagram.com/pretty_messy_official/ (@pretty_messy_official) https://www.instagram.com/merlemade_tales/ (@merlemade_tales) Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/TheGoodFailers/ (@thegoodfailers) https://www.facebook.com/merlemadetales/ (@merlemadetales) Twitter - https://my.captivate.fm/dashboard/@thegood_fail (@thegood_fail ) Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.co.uk/merlehunt/ (@merlemadetales) The Web - http://merlemadetales.com/ (www.merlemadetales.com) MUSIC FOR THE GOOD FAIL BY: https://filmmusic.io "Dreamy Flashback" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Support this podcast

Today we're exploring how our greatest expectations can lead to our deepest sense of failure and if it's possible to change that. WHY ARE WE DEDICATING A WHOLE EPISODE TO THIS? We didn't think it could fill an entire episode at first but as we recorded season 1 & 2 of The Good Fail it kept coming up. In fact, we realised it was a big factor in how we felt about failure. WHY SHOULD OUR EXPECTATIONS INFLUENCE OUR FEELINGS? Our expectations are a big deal for us. Even a small event turning out not as expected can hamper our enjoyment of it. It might seem silly that our foiled expectations have an impact on our feelings but they do. IS THE ANSWER THEN TO MANAGE OUR EXPECTATIONS? For the longest time we thought this was the answer. If we didn't expect anything we couldn't be disappointed. The problem with this thinking is that by limiting our expectations we also limit ourselves. It also doesn't stop the disappointment any less. Brené Brown has something to say on this in her book Daring Greatly. WHAT CAN WE DO INSTEAD? In theory you should be able to let go of your ego and experience the world purely in the present, where expectations become meaningless. However, we think changing our perspective on the outcome is more doable. HOW DO WE DO THAT? Know yourself so you can recognise what you're feeling and why. Realise that disappointment is inevitable but that shouldn't curtail our expectations. Learn to trust that you can handle any situation that may arise. WHAT CAN WE CONCLUDE FROM ALL THIS?  Our expectations are here to stay, we just need to learn not to let them run the show. WHAT'S OUR RECOMMENDATION FOR THIS WEEK?  https://brenebrown.com/books-audio/ (Daring Greatly) by Brené Brown A book that teaches us how allowing ourselves to be vulnerable can help us be happier, stronger people.  SUPPORT THE SHOW You can become an official supporter of the show by joining our Good Fail club on Patreon. Visit: https://my.captivate.fm/www.patreon.com/thegoodfail (www.patreon.com/thegoodfail) FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA If you're not tired of us yet, you can also find us in these social places: Instagram - https://my.captivate.fm/dashboard/@thegood_fail (@thegood_fail) https://www.instagram.com/pretty_messy_official/ (@pretty_messy_official) https://www.instagram.com/merlemade_tales/ (@merlemade_tales) Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/TheGoodFailers/ (@thegoodfailers) https://www.facebook.com/merlemadetales/ (@merlemadetales) Twitter - https://my.captivate.fm/dashboard/@thegood_fail (@thegood_fail ) Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.co.uk/merlehunt/ (@merlemadetales) The Web - http://merlemadetales.com/ (www.merlemadetales.com) MUSIC FOR THE GOOD FAIL BY: https://filmmusic.io "Dreamy Flashback" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Support this podcast

Today we are asking if making plans for the future is simply a way of ticking our life goals off a list? Or can it bring us a greater sense of meaning? After discussing some major fails and some more minor successes we get strait to the point by asking how we make plans for the future? And the short answer is that we don't plan that much because it hasn't worked in the past but we are filled with a certainty that life would be easier if we had a plan.  HOW DO WE BREAK THE CYCLE? It's different because of fear. We're basically working on a plan to fail, fail to plan scenario. So instead of not planning all together maybe we should change the way we plan. LIKE MAKE A TO-DO LIST? We are definitely advocates for making to-do lists. They can break down scary projects into manageable steps and can be shaped to your strengths. But sometimes you can do everything right and tick off every to-do list and still not end up where you planned! SO WHAT CAN WE DO INSTEAD? In her book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Susan Jeffers talks about our fear of making wrong decisions. In this scenario we are operating on her lose/lose system rather then her win/win model. We can extrapolate this concept and use it to rethink planning. WHAT CAN WE CONCLUDE? Having no plan doesn't work for us but making plans needn't send us into palpitations of dread either. Instead of feeling our plans are the map to the holy grail, where the outcome is either hold the the sacred relic in out hands or face abject failure, we can rather see them as a means to facilitating a series of experiences and opportunities.  WHAT'S OUR RECOMMENDATION THIS WEEK? https://www.flowmagazine.com/shop/diary-calendars (Flow Diary) https://frankiepress.mymagazines.com.au (Frankie Diary) https://theinkbucket.in/collections/2020-planner-calendar-collection (The Ink Bucket Planner) https://papayaart.com/collections/calendars (PAPAYA! Weekly Planner) For all your paper planning needs! SUPPORT THE SHOW You can become an official supporter of the show by joining our Good Fail club on Patreon. Visit: https://my.captivate.fm/www.patreon.com/thegoodfail (www.patreon.com/thegoodfail) FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA If you're not tired of us yet, you can also find us in these social places: Instagram - https://my.captivate.fm/dashboard/@thegood_fail (@thegood_fail) https://www.instagram.com/pretty_messy_official/ (@pretty_messy_official) https://www.instagram.com/merlemade_tales/ (@merlemade_tales) Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/TheGoodFailers/ (@thegoodfailers) https://www.facebook.com/merlemadetales/ (@merlemadetales) Twitter - https://my.captivate.fm/dashboard/@thegood_fail (@thegood_fail ) Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.co.uk/merlehunt/ (@merlemadetales) The Web - http://merlemadetales.com/ (www.merlemadetales.com) MUSIC FOR THE GOOD FAIL BY: https://filmmusic.io "Dreamy Flashback" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Support this podcast

Today we are asking how we can generate new ideas when we're in the grips of creative block or feeling stuck in out current life situation. After quickly catching up with out joint fails and successes of the week we start by clarifying how idea generation can relate to our listeners. We're all asked to think creatively at some point and sometimes the ideas just aren't coming and you feel stuck. DOES THAT FEEL LIKE YOU RIGHT NOW? We've definitely been there/are there right now! Here are our experiences of feeling stuck, both artistically and in life, and what we've learned from those experiences. SHOULD WE FEEL BAD ABOUT IT? No! We don't think so. Nor would your future self who can only look back with gratitude for what you have achieved. SO WHAT SHOULD WE DO ABOUT IT? Acknowledge you're don't feel good, it's okay, and even lean into the feeling a little. Just don't get stuck there. ALSO, DO YOU REMEMBER NIGREDO? Check out season 1 episode 2 to recap. Nigredo is exciting because it means new growth is possible. So when you find yourself feeling stuck, you should feel excited for the next bit too, generating ideas. WHAT'S A GOOD WAY OF GENERATING IDEAS? DO NOT focus of generating ideas. Instead, fill yourself to the brim with whatever you love doing. Then the ideas will creep in. We end with a quote from https://www.elizabethgilbert.com/books/big-magic/ (Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert) that gives a clear, visual image of what we're talking about. CONCLUSION: Idea generation when you're feeling stuck can, like a blank sheet of paper, feel scary and intimidating. But by not panicking and by absolutely not thinking about it, you can get pretty creative. WHAT'S OUR RECOMMENDATION FOR THE WEEK? https://www.bbcearth.com/podcast/# (BBC Earth Podcast) A great mix of stories about our planet to get you started on feeling inspired. SUPPORT THE SHOW You can become an official supporter of the show by joining our Good Fail club on Patreon. Visit: https://my.captivate.fm/www.patreon.com/thegoodfail (www.patreon.com/thegoodfail) FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA If you're not tired of us yet, you can also find us in these social places: Instagram - https://my.captivate.fm/dashboard/@thegood_fail (@thegood_fail) https://www.instagram.com/pretty_messy_official/ (@pretty_messy_official) https://www.instagram.com/merlemade_tales/ (@merlemade_tales) Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/TheGoodFailers/ (@thegoodfailers) https://www.facebook.com/merlemadetales/ (@merlemadetales) Twitter - https://my.captivate.fm/dashboard/@thegood_fail (@thegood_fail ) Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.co.uk/merlehunt/ (@merlemadetales) The Web - http://merlemadetales.com/ (www.merlemadetales.com) MUSIC FOR THE GOOD FAIL BY: https://filmmusic.io "Dreamy Flashback" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Support this podcast

We want to dedicate this episode to raising awareness of mental health and discuss how our mental health impacts on doing The Good Fail.  WHY?  Learning to do the good fail is about learning to develop a healthy mental attitude towards success and failure. While talking about the importance of having a resilient, compassionate and generous mindset we confess just how good we are at maintaining it. HOW COME?  We open up about our mental health and how it continues to effect our attitude towards success as well as the impact it has had on our confidence in accepting opportunities and running a small business.  WHAT CAN WE SUGGEST?  While The Good Fail is about developing a healthy mental attitude, part of that is acknowledging when our mental health is suffering a dip, and knowing that's okay. We talk further about moments in our lives when we've experienced small setbacks in our mental health and go on to suggest a few self care remedies, including taking time out, binge watching a whole series of RuPaul's Drag Race and eating chocolate.  WHAT IF MORE IS NEEDED?  We make it clear at this point that sometimes chocolate just doesn't cut it when it comes to more serious cases of mental health, in which case there are professionals in a better position to offer advice who's help we advocate you seek out.  OKAY, WHAT CAN WE CONCLUDE FROM ALL THIS?  It can be difficult to be open about our mental health but know that you are brave when you speak up and your mental health issues are worthy of being heard. Giving them a voice is just part of how we can succeed at doing the good fail.   WHAT DO WE RECOMMEND?  Each week we finish by recommending something we think is brilliant that is doing the good fail. Today we bring you:  We want you all to give yourself a break and have some fun so, this week we're doing things a little different! Book of the week: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Family-Other-Animals-Corfu-Trilogy/dp/0241981697 (My Family and Other Animals) by Gerald Durrell - An hilarious, biographical read about a boy whose mother ups and takes her four children to live in Corfu. Podcast of the week: https://www.npr.org/podcasts/469516571/modern-love (Modern Love) - A podcast that celebrates love in all it's human forms. All episodes are based on true tales of love, loss and redemption. Film of the week: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=83DXny5IQyM (Kinky Boots) - This is an absolute crowd pleaser and utterly feel good! Also based on real events. SUPPORT THE SHOW You can become an official supporter of the show by joining our Good Fail club on Patreon. Visit: https://my.captivate.fm/www.patreon.com/thegoodfail (www.patreon.com/thegoodfail) FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA If you're not tired of us yet, you can also find us in these social places: Instagram - @thegood_fail https://www.instagram.com/pretty_messy_official/ (@pretty_messy_official) https://www.instagram.com/merlemade_tales/ (@merlemade_tales) Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/TheGoodFailers/ (@thegoodfailers) https://www.facebook.com/merlemadetales/ (@merlemadetales) Twitter - @thegood_fail Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.co.uk/merlehunt/ (@merlemadetales) The Web - http://merlemadetales.com/ (www.merlemadetales.com) MUSIC FOR THE GOOD FAIL BY: https://filmmusic.io "Dreamy Flashback" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Support this podcast

Today we are being honest about our own failure to think positively and asking; If positive thinking is so simple, then why is it so hard? After a quick catch-up with our fails and successes of the week we get stuck in by asking, can positive thinking really change your life? The answer from much of the research is that thinking positively has proven benefits BUT in our worst moments it can feel like just another thing we've failed at. CAN WE BE HONEST HERE? When we first planned this episode, we were actually done with positive thinking. We were convinced it was the program that was at fault, not us. But then we read Susan Jeffers' “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” and our perspective changed.  BUT WHAT IS POSITIVE THINKING ANYWAY? At the core of all positive thinking practices is the understanding that the way we experience the world is impacted by how we think about it. IT SOUNDS SIMPLE, WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? It's easier said then done and takes a ton of dedicated practice. This isn't an overnight fix. We also want to make the distinction here between positive thinking and being positive in order to please others. WHAT CAN WE CONCLUDE? If we take responsibility for our feelings and reactions we can still encounter negative experiences but we have the power to find a positive perspective. WHAT'S OUR RECOMMENDATION FOR THIS WEEK? "https://www.amazon.co.uk/Feel-Fear-Anyway-Indecision-Confidence/dp/0091907071 (Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway)" by Susan Jeffers. A self help book encouraging us to move from a place of pain to one of power.  SUPPORT THE SHOW You can become an official supporter of the show by joining our Good Fail club on Patreon. Visit: https://my.captivate.fm/www.patreon.com/thegoodfail (www.patreon.com/thegoodfail) FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA If you're not tired of us yet, you can also find us in these social places: Instagram - @thegood_fail https://www.instagram.com/pretty_messy_official/ (@pretty_messy_official) https://www.instagram.com/merlemade_tales/ (@merlemade_tales) Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/TheGoodFailers/ (@thegoodfailers) https://www.facebook.com/merlemadetales/ (@merlemadetales) Twitter - @thegood_fail Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.co.uk/merlehunt/ (@merlemadetales) The Web - http://merlemadetales.com/ (www.merlemadetales.com) MUSIC FOR THE GOOD FAIL BY: https://filmmusic.io "Dreamy Flashback" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Support this podcast

Is it possible to set a new year resolution that won't leave us feeling embarrassed, ashamed and like a total failure by the end of the year?  AND WHY IS SETTING NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS SUCH A BIG DEAL ANYWAY? Because it's a New Year new you right!? it's a chance to start with a clean slate and while we admit that we're the first to brush off the dreaded “any New Year resolutions?” question with an eye roll and a flippant reply, we dig deeper into our secret hope that this year will be the year of big change, when we will triumph in our attainment of perfection even when others buckle and fail.   WHERE IS THAT PRESSURE COMING FROM?  Consumer culture literally benefits from our insecurities. Society is basically built on the assumption that we're not good enough. This unconscious but deliberate messaging builds pressure from the outside that makes us feel an inner pressure to look for ways to change ourselves.  CAN WE SUGGEST SOMETHING DIFFERENT?  We decide it's important not to waste all that positive energy that's floating around from Christmas and symbolically New Year has always been an important time which shouldn't be overlooked. But we agree we should be a bit more Good Fail in our approach. Here we reference an idea we got from counsellor, coach and trauma therapist Kelsey Mech on her Instagram @kelseymech.  WHAT CAN WE CONCLUDE FROM ALL THIS?  We recommend using Kelsey's refreshing twist on setting resolutions as your new way of looking ahead into the New Year with clarity and kindness.  WHAT DO WE RECOMMEND?  Each week we finish by recommending something we think is brilliant that is doing the good fail. Today we bring you: JUST DO IT! SUPPORT THE SHOW You can become an official supporter of the show by joining our Good Fail club on Patreon. Visit: https://my.captivate.fm/www.patreon.com/thegoodfail (www.patreon.com/thegoodfail) FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA If you're not tired of us yet, you can also find us in these social places: Instagram - @thegood_fail https://www.instagram.com/pretty_messy_official/ (@pretty_messy_official) https://www.instagram.com/merlemade_tales/ (@merlemade_tales) Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/TheGoodFailers/ (@thegoodfailers) https://www.facebook.com/merlemadetales/ (@merlemadetales) Twitter - @thegood_fail Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.co.uk/merlehunt/ (@merlemadetales) The Web - http://merlemadetales.com/ (www.merlemadetales.com) MUSIC FOR THE GOOD FAIL BY: https://filmmusic.io "Dreamy Flashback" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Support this podcast

This week we want to debunk the myth that happiness should be earned through hard work and the attainment of perfection. HOW DOES BEING HAPPY, AND PUTTING CONDITIONS ON WHEN WE'RE ALLOWED TO FEEL HAPPY, RELATE TO DOING THE GOOD FAIL? As millennials we feel the pressure to be meeting certain milestones and to be our best selves ALL of the time. There's no set path to follow, no clear advice to guarantee success and, in our experience, little tutors or mentors can say to help as the job landscape has changed so quickly since “their time”. WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR US JUST TO BE HAPPY? Because we're having to promote ourselves, not our work anymore. It's about who we are as an aspiration, not a reality. We are having to ask ourselves, who am I as a brand?  UNDERSTANDABLY THIS MAKES US FEEL WHAT? Not good! Like anxiety ridded wrecks! It's all about the hustle these days. And doing the hustle might have positive connotations but more often then not leaves us feeling stressed and cranky! Always telling ourselves we just need one big break and then we'll be happy forever. This is what we mean by putting conditions on our happiness. IN THAT CASE, IS IT POSSIBLE TO BE HAPPY EVER AGAIN? Yes, we believe so! It is definitely possible to be happy but it's okay to not be happy ALL of the time. You don't have to always be making the MOST of EVERYTHING! That would just be exhausting! We don't have to be our best selves all the time. WHAT CAN WE CONCLUDE FROM ALL THIS? Let's not put pressure on ourselves to feel a certain way at a certain time when certain things align in our favour. If we give ourselves permission to be happy less, we might actually be happy more often. WHAT'S OUR RECOMMENDATION FOR THIS WEEK? https://www.instagram.com/i_weigh/ (@i_weigh) on Instagram Founded by https://www.instagram.com/jameelajamilofficial/ (Jameela Jamil), it's a social media page with a message. This page will make you feel less ashamed of being not so much of a brand and much more of a human. WHAT'S UP IN OUR NEXT EPISODE? This is actually the last episode of series 1 and we'll be taking a short break over Christmas. But we'll be back in the New Year so stay tuned. SUPPORT THE SHOW You can become an official supporter of the show by joining our Good Fail club on Patreon. Visit: https://my.captivate.fm/www.patreon.com/thegoodfail (www.patreon.com/thegoodfail) FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA If you're not tired of us yet, you can also find us in these social places: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/pretty_messy_official/ (@pretty_messy_official) https://www.instagram.com/merlemade_tales/ (@merlemade_tales) Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/TheGoodFailers/ (@thegoodfailers) https://www.facebook.com/merlemadetales/ (@merlemadetales) Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.co.uk/merlehunt/ (@merlemadetales) The Web - http://merlemadetales.com/ (www.merlemadetales.com) MUSIC FOR THE GOOD FAIL BY: https://filmmusic.io "Dreamy Flashback" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Support this podcast

How can we accept the journey we're on, the struggles we face and how far we have to go while at the same time remaining generous and supportive of other's happiness and success? CAN WE UNPACK THAT FURTHER?  In other words we mean, how can we fight against the struggle not to feel incredibly jealous all the time? Particularly when it's towards friends and family. We admit that this isn't an easy topic to talk about honestly but go on to point out our focus here is on finding a way to nurture our feelings of generosity rather than indulging our feelings of jealousy.  SO HOW CAN WE CULTIVATE GENEROSITY? After confessing that jealousy is something we definitely struggle with, we begin to unravel how being generous to others can help us feel better about ourselves, using our own experiences to build a handy tips and tricks section on how to get a handle on jealousy and encourage generosity. We also mention Oprah Winfrey's podcast Super Soul Conversations and another podcast hosted by Dacher Keltner called The Science of Happiness; in particular referencing episode 7 (12th Mar. 2018) and his conversation with journalist Tod Zwillich along with research carried out by neuroscientist Christina Karns on the science of gratitude.  WHAT CAN WE CONCLUDE FROM ALL THIS?  Increasing our generosity is all about knowing our own life has value. If we can find acceptance for the journey we're on and be grateful for what we have now then we can become more generous to others.  WHAT DO WE RECOMMEND?  Each week we finish by recommending something we think is brilliant that is doing the good fail. Today we bring you: https://www.pri.org/programs/science-happiness/how-gratitude-benefits-your-brain (The Science of Happiness) A podcast hosted by Dacher Keltner, professor of psychology, that utilises a scientific approach to the mindfulness movement, great for all the sceptics out there. SUPPORT THE SHOW You can become an official supporter of the show by joining our Good Fail club on Patreon. Visit: https://my.captivate.fm/www.patreon.com/thegoodfail (www.patreon.com/thegoodfail) FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA If you're not tired of us yet, you can also find us in these social places: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/pretty_messy_official/ (@pretty_messy_official) https://www.instagram.com/merlemade_tales/ (@merlemade_tales) Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/TheGoodFailers/ (@thegoodfailers) https://www.facebook.com/merlemadetales/ (@merlemadetales) Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.co.uk/merlehunt/ (@merlemadetales) The Web - http://merlemadetales.com/ (www.merlemadetales.com) MUSIC FOR THE GOOD FAIL BY: https://filmmusic.io "Dreamy Flashback" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)   Support this podcast

We all do it. we all know we do it. But how can we stop ourselves from feeling inadequate when other's lives appear so perfect?  We start by tackling that gnarly old problem of social media, establishing that it definitely has its benefits, like building community, or as a tool for promotion and inspiration etc, but that its one big drawback is how easily we can fall into the comparison trap.  WHY DO WE DO IT?  It's natural to compare and is actually a fundamental skill required in decision making. As we discuss, it can spur us on to do good and be better, plus, we're just plain nosy and we love taking a poke around on the gram to see how the other half live.  CAN WE STOP OURSELVES?  No. It's too instinctual, no matter how much it messes us up on the inside, but as we dig deeper into the issue we learn about what steps we can take to help ourselves out when we bring ourselves down with too much comparison; it's got something to do with choices.  GOT ANY HANDY TOOLS FOR THAT?  We've also got a heap of suggestions for practical ways we can help making those right choices easier, including a personal anecdote in which Merle almost becomes a cossack rider.  WHAT DO WE RECOMMEND?  Each week we finish by recommending something we think is brilliant that is doing the good fail. Today we bring you: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/how-to-fail-with-elizabeth-day/id1407451189 (How to Fail) A fantastic podcast by journalist Elizabeth Day, featuring life lessons from the seemingly successful as they talk through some of their biggest fails.  SUPPORT THE SHOW You can become an official supporter of the show by joining our Good Fail club on Patreon. Visit: https://my.captivate.fm/www.patreon.com/thegoodfail (www.patreon.com/thegoodfail) FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA If you're not tired of us yet, you can also find us in these social places: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/pretty_messy_official/ (@pretty_messy_official) https://www.instagram.com/merlemade_tales/ (@merlemade_tales) Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/TheGoodFailers/ (@thegoodfailers) https://www.facebook.com/merlemadetales/ (@merlemadetales) Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.co.uk/merlehunt/ (@merlemadetales) The Web - http://merlemadetales.com/ (www.merlemadetales.com) MUSIC FOR THE GOOD FAIL BY: https://filmmusic.io "Dreamy Flashback" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Support this podcast

Today we want to talk about whether an important part of feeling better about failure is finding your tribe; people who can truly identify with your struggles and offer valuable insights. WEEKLY UPDATE. We quickly dive into how we've been failing and succeeding this week with a little story that perfectly sums up the Good Fail. WHAT DO WE REALLY MEAN BY TRIBE? We introduce the main topic by summarising our definition of “tribe” for the purposes of this episode. Your tribe is a group of people going through a similar experience as you at the same time. SO ARE FRIENDS PART OF YOUR TRIBE? Tribe is different from friendship when it comes to the support you get from them. Friends will be there for you, encourage you and commiserate with you, whatever the situation while your tribe is a community of individuals bonded by a specific interest or experience. We can support this with personal experience. IS IT IMPORTANT FOR EVERYONE TO FIND A TRIBE? We've seen this question particularly come up for people in creative/freelance work who often end up working alone and can suffer from loneliness. For this reason it seems clear that finding a tribe can be extremely beneficial however as we are ourselves confirmed introverts we understand that this might feel daunting. QUOTE: (from Oh Magazine, formerly Oh Comely)  When you feel isolated you lose confidence in your ability to make friends and so turn down invitations and avoid opportunities to meet new people; all things that would naturally make you feel better and disprove your anxieties.  We know that we need personal, face-to-face contact with people going through similar struggles to stay sane but the longer we go without human contact, perversely, the less we feel like making the effort. But YES, tribe is important! DOES TRIBE MEAN A LARGE GROUP OF PEOPLE? No! Consider if you need the whole community. You may just need one or two people you can have a really good chat with. Tribe can be as small as that. HOW DO YOU GO ABOUT FINDING YOUR TRIBE? QUOTE: (from Oh Magazine) Meeting people will involve taking a punt and putting yourself out there. pretty scary when you're feeling down in the dumps - but there are things you can do to make it easier. We're not experts in the field but we do have some suggestions. WHAT CAN WE CONCLUDE? Tribe is important BUT work on knowing yourself enough that you can begin to understand how much of the tripe you want to take on. WEEKLY RECOMMENDATION https://ohcomely.co.uk/magazine (Oh Magazine) (formerly known as Oh Comely)  Issue 51 includes the article we have been quoting from. The Friend Effect by Jo Usmar.  https://picsandink.com (Pics & Ink ) A new online space where you can browse and buy independent magazines, including Oh magazine.  SUPPORT THE SHOW You can become an official supporter of the show by joining our Good Fail club on Patreon. Visit: www.patreon.com/thegoodfail FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA If you're not tired of us yet, you can also find us in these social places: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/pretty_messy_official/ (@pretty_messy_official) https://www.instagram.com/merlemade_tales/ (@merlemade_tales) Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/TheGoodFailers/ (@thegoodfailers) https://www.facebook.com/merlemadetales/ (@merlemadetales) Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.co.uk/merlehunt/ (@merlemadetales) The Web - http://merlemadetales.com (www.merlemadetales.com) MUSIC FOR THE GOOD FAIL BY: https://filmmusic.io "Dreamy Flashback" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Support this podcast

If you ever feel like you've got a goal you want to reach, a place you want to be, a life you want to cultivate, but achieving it is like walking around in the dark and stabbing at things in the optimistic expectation of finding that exact thing that's going to help you get there, then join the club. We haven't got a clue but in this episode we're discussing the one thing we do know a bit about that might make a big difference in, if not how quickly and successfully we reach our goals, at least how good we feel about continuing not to reach them: namely, ourselves.  DO YOU HAVE AN EXAMPLE? Talking further about our own processes and how we strategise our knowledge in order to create a more productive work day, we mostly end up talking about our obsession with food, tea, books, overthinking and feeling slangry. DOES ALL THAT KNOWLEDGE HELP?  Although we have a lot of strategies in place to help us be our best selves, even strategies for when our strategies aren't working (did we mention overthinking?), a lot of the time we fail to follow our own good advice. However, we may not be perfect but knowing ourselves, accepting our limitations, has been enormously helpful in making it easier to fail well and fail good.  WHAT DO WE RECOMMEND?  Each week we finish by recommending something we think is brilliant that is doing the good fail. Today we bring you: https://insighttimer.com (Insight Timer) A free meditation app for your phone with a great bookmark function.  https://www.yogitea.com/en/ (Yogi Tea) A brand of herbal teas with some truly delicious blends, with a little piece of wisdom on every tea tag.   SUPPORT THE SHOW You can become an official supporter of the show by joining our Good Fail club on Patreon. Visit: www.patreon.com/thegoodfail FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA If you're not tired of us yet, you can also find us in these social places: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/pretty_messy_official/ (@pretty_messy_official) https://www.instagram.com/merlemade_tales/ (@merlemade_tales) Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/TheGoodFailers/ (@thegoodfailers) https://www.facebook.com/merlemadetales/ (@merlemadetales) Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.co.uk/merlehunt/ (@merlemadetales) The Web - http://merlemadetales.com (www.merlemadetales.com) MUSIC FOR THE GOOD FAIL BY: https://filmmusic.io "Dreamy Flashback" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Support this podcast

Today we are discussing how owning your creativity can be the first step in doing the Good Fail. WEEKLY UPDATE. We quickly dive into how we've been failing and succeeding this week. WHAT DO WE MEAN WHEN WE SAY OWNING YOUR CREATIVITY? Giving ourselves permission to call ourselves *insert title here*. Whether that be artist or actor or director or designer, sometimes Imposter Syndrome can get in the way and we feel like we don't have the right to give ourselves these titles. This can also apply to non-creative pursuits. OUR PERSONAL STRUGGLE TO GIVE OURSELVES PERMISSION. I'm writing a novel but it isn't published yet, can I call myself a writer? I've worked on small acting projects but can't get onto Spotlight, can I call myself an actor? I feel physically sick when I consider calling myself either.  I'm quite happy to call myself an illustrator but can't actually talk about what I do without my insides winkling up in utter agony. This all stems from Imposter Syndrome. WHAT ARE WE SCARED OF? We're scared that people will judge us and mock us, for being so silly and delusional. That they'll see we don't know what we're doing and won't like us for it. But should we care? WHEN IS IT OKAY TO START CALLING YOURSELF *INSERT TITLE HERE*? This can lead to more questions but is the answer to all of them that we shouldn't care? SHOULD WE JUST GIVE OURSELVES PERMISSION TO DO AND BE WHAT WE WANT? Yes! People are breaking free of traditional roles now and seeking individual self-identity. If someone has the courage to identify themselves as the opposite gender to how they were born, then I can call myself an artist. SO WHY IS IT SO SCARY? Because giving ourselves permission to be that thing also gives us permission to fail at being it. CONCLUSION. Owning our creativity is the first step in doing the Good Fail. WEEKLY RECOMMENDATION. https://www.elizabethgilbert.com/books/big-magic/ (Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert) A self-help book that encourages you to just get on with it and be the creative you dream of being.  SUPPORT THE SHOW You can become an official supporter of the show by joining our Good Fail club on Patreon. Visit: www.patreon.com/thegoodfail FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA If you're not tired of us yet, you can also find us in these social places: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/pretty_messy_official/ (@pretty_messy_official) https://www.instagram.com/merlemade_tales/ (@merlemade_tales) Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/TheGoodFailers/ (@thegoodfailers) https://www.facebook.com/merlemadetales/ (@merlemadetales) Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.co.uk/merlehunt/ (@merlemadetales) The Web - http://merlemadetales.com (www.merlemadetales.com) MUSIC FOR THE GOOD FAIL BY: https://filmmusic.io "Dreamy Flashback" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Support this podcast

To begin episode two we introduce a regular segment to the show that celebrates the moments in our week when we've triumphed and when we've failed.  HOW DO WE FEEL ABOUT FAILING?  Starting to dig into the main topic of the show we discuss our current assumptions on success and failure, using the official definition from our tattered and frankly falling to pieces edition of the Concise Oxford English Dictionary as a launch pad into thoughts and musings about attaining fame, when a “favourable outcome” can refer to successfully putting a clothes wash on and how failure can be comforting because we know what to expect. SO HOW DO WE SUCCEED AT FAILING? It's difficult but we feel it's about changing our perspective. Something we discuss which has helped us recently is our introduction to Carl Jung's interpretation of alchemy and in particular that part at the very beginning of the process known as NIGREDO.  DO WE HAVE ANY PRACTICAL TOOLS FOR THAT?  Discussing our own tactics for how to stay motivated when we'd rather just kick it all in and be miserable and if it's important to feel grateful for all the little things, we introduce our final segment of the show:  WHAT DO WE RECOMMEND?  Each week we finish by recommending something we think is brilliant that is doing the good fail. Today we bring you:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/oprahs-supersoul-conversations/id1264843400 (Super Soul Conversations) A totally awesome podcast by Oprah Winfrey  And https://makersbusinesstoolkit.com (The Makers Yearbook) A superb business planner created by a lovely woman called Nicola.  SUPPORT THE SHOW You can become an official supporter of the show by joining our Good Fail club on Patreon. Visit: www.patreon.com/thegoodfail FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA If you're not tired of us yet, you can also find us in these social places: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/pretty_messy_official/ (@pretty_messy_official) https://www.instagram.com/merlemade_tales/ (@merlemade_tales) Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/TheGoodFailers/ (@thegoodfailers) https://www.facebook.com/merlemadetales/ (@merlemadetales) Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.co.uk/merlehunt/ (@merlemadetales) The Web - http://merlemadetales.com (www.merlemadetales.com) MUSIC FOR THE GOOD FAIL BY: https://filmmusic.io "Dreamy Flashback" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Support this podcast

The Good Fail is a project that was born out of a pervasive feeling in both of us that we were failing to make our voices heard as creators. Now we want to radically recalibrate our ideas and attitudes surrounding failure. WHAT IS THIS PODCAST ABOUT? This podcast is about failure and questioning the “one size fits all” perspective of success. We want to change our understanding of what failure means to us and we want you join us. WHY ARE WE MAKING THIS PODCAST? Because is feels awful to fail but we spend so much of our lives failing and then failing again to live up to what we think success looks like. We want to build a kind of tool kit of strategies and experiences that we, and you, can use to help us keep going when we are living through failure. Don't give up! CAN WE CHANGE OUR PERSPECTIVE ON FAILURE OR DO WE NEED TO GET BETTER AT SUCCEEDING? Failure is a process. If we can start to think of success in less black and white terms, that is, if we're not “succeeding” then we must be “failing”, then we can change our perspective on what it really means to fail. We can feel like it's not all over just because we failed.  WHY ARE WE QUALIFIED TO TALK ABOUT THIS? We have experienced our fair share of failure and more, and some successes, which we will be talking about openly with you in the hopes of relieving some of the shame that surrounds failure. This might make us not so much academically qualified as curious! We see this podcast as an exploration for us and the listener together.  CONCLUSION We hope this gives you a good idea about what we hope this podcast will be. Every episode we'll be unpacking issues surrounding failure and how we can challenge them. We'll also be including a regular recommendation section for great books, podcasts, tv shows, apps and more that relate to the Good Fail. SUPPORT THE SHOW You can become an official supporter of the show by joining our Good Fail club on Patreon. Visit: www.patreon.com/thegoodfail FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA If you're not tired of us yet, you can also find us in these social places: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/pretty_messy_official/ (@pretty_messy_official) https://www.instagram.com/merlemade_tales/ (@merlemade_tales) Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/TheGoodFailers/ (@thegoodfailers) https://www.facebook.com/merlemadetales/ (@merlemadetales) Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.co.uk/merlehunt/ (@merlemadetales) The Web - http://merlemadetales.com (www.merlemadetales.com) MUSIC FOR THE GOOD FAIL BY: https://filmmusic.io "Dreamy Flashback" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Support this podcast

We introduce ourselves and the podcast. SUPPORT THE SHOW You can become an official supporter of the show by joining our Good Fail club on Patreon. Visit: www.patreon.com/thegoodfail FIND US ON SOCIAL MEDIA If you're not tired of us yet, you can also find us in these social places: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/pretty_messy_official/ (@pretty_messy_official) https://www.instagram.com/merlemade_tales/ (@merlemade_tales) Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/TheGoodFailers/ (@thegoodfailers) https://www.facebook.com/merlemadetales/ (@merlemadetales) Pinterest - https://www.pinterest.co.uk/merlehunt/ (@merlemadetales) The Web - http://merlemadetales.com (www.merlemadetales.com) MUSIC FOR THE GOOD FAIL BY: https://filmmusic.io "Dreamy Flashback" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com) License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Support this podcast