Worst Contact

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Worst Contact chronicles the adventures of Tobes and Jesse. Our intrepid slackers are thrust into the spotlight after their middling podcast "Gnar Talk Radio" is accidentally uploaded to the NASA deep-space radio broadcast. It is well received by an alien culture who take it upon themselves to make…

Machine Culture


    • Jun 8, 2017 LATEST EPISODE
    • infrequent NEW EPISODES
    • 42m AVG DURATION
    • 43 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Worst Contact

    Episode 43 - Black Belt Strapped and Throwin' Down with Vaughn Rey

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 8, 2017 42:33


    The Gnarlax have been asking more and more often about martial arts. It's probably because they've finally started watching Jackie Chan movies. Tobes and Jesse have on Judo Master Vaughn Rey, but how does one throw your opponent in zero gravity? Special thanks to Jacob Lowrey!

    Episode 42 - Needing Some Space to Grow with Fran

    Play Episode Listen Later May 25, 2017 62:52


    Tobes and Jesse got an email from this weeks guest very formally requesting to be on the show. Fran has a special message to send out to the Gnarlax and they're the only ones who can help find her true identity. Special thanks to Julie Marchiano!

    Episode 41 - The Ceaseless Skittering Within the Walls w/ Lyn Sears

    Play Episode Listen Later May 11, 2017 61:25


    When nature creeps in at the seams, when you find yourself cowering in the corner with a tennis racket, when the furry terror gnaw at your mind, there is only woman fighting back: Lyn Sears, animal control expert. She has much to teach Tobes, Jesse and Gnarlax alike. Special thanks to Molly Kearney!

    Episode 40 - The Answer to Life, the Universe and Everything with Squirrel

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 27, 2017 47:19


    Whaddup Gnarlax! This episode is special like brownies! Cuz Tobes and Jesse can only think of one man to help ring in this sweet, sticky holidank: their best bud Squirrel! You know why they call him Squirrel? That dude loves trees, na'mean?! Special thanks to Chris Higgins!

    Episode 39 - Three Dudes, A Mic, and a Pizza Place w/ Twercules

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 12, 2017 37:03


    Tobes and Jesse have on guest Twercules to let the Gnarlax know what is going on in "da club." Things fall apart; the center cannot hold. Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world. Special thanks to Brandon Kieffer!

    Episode 38 - Mnmlst Xprnc w/ Bradford T. Washington

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 29, 2017 51:09


    Tobes and Jesse are joined this week by Bradford T. Washington, a man who has decided to opt out of our consumerist culture. They teach the Gnarlax about the simple joys of living a minimalist lifestyle. Special thanks to Ian Owens!

    Episode 37 - More Fairly Grim Tales w/ Kachel Rachel

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 2, 2017 49:16


    It seems that the Gnarlax are just as obsessed with the macabre as we are. We brought on guest expert Kachel Rachel to discuss the horrors of humanity: serial killers. I wonder if she knows past guest Michael Caruthers (WINK). Special thanks to Meredith Kachel!

    Episode 36 - Grafting the Future with Anthie Causswan

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 14, 2017 45:51


    Though the Gnarlax have not asked for this episode, when Anthie Causswan reached out, Tobes and Jesse knew that they needed to do this interview. To educate mankind and Gnarkind alike about the Trans-humanist movement. Cyborgs are people too. As Anthie would put it, Cyborgs are the future of humanity. Special thanks to Andy Bolduc!

    Episode 35 - Death is Nothing to Fear with BeyoncƩ Rosenblatt

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 8, 2017 57:19


    The Gnarlax have been quite curious about how humans view death. Like, to an alarming degree? Do they know something about current Earth affairs that we don't?! Anyway, Tobes and Jesse speak with death and corpse hobbyist BeyoncƩ Rosenblatt to get a better idea of just how much is involved in being dead. Special thanks to Rebecca Loeser!

    Episode 34 - The Sounds of Irony with Robert MacCleff

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 31, 2017 48:25


    Tobes and Jesse have been getting quite a few questions from Gnarlax regarding the nature of music and its importance to Earth culture. To dig deeper into the subject, they meet with composer and musician extraordinaire Robert MacCleff. The irony comes from faulty audio equipment and the shortcomings of their new intern Charlie. Sorry for the audio, we're making Charlie work on it. Special thanks to Jake Dewar!

    Episode 33 - Live Action Rad Podcasting w/ Thomas Salk (Drizel Windrunner)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 25, 2017 46:01


    The Gnarlax seem rather confused by deep, deep nerd culture. We bring on Thomas Salk, accountant and LARPer who goes by the Elven name Drizel Windrunner. Or is he an Elf that LARPs as an accountant? Where does the LARP end and "real life" begin? Special Thanks to Jamie Carbone!

    Episode 32 - And When I Hit the Ground I Woke Up with Garmen D'Argento

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 18, 2017 42:44


    Gnarlax have been sliding in the DMs with several questions regarding the nature of dreams. Those swirling shifting spaces right behind our closed eyelids. To navigate these murky waters, we've brought on dream interpreter Garmen D'Argento to help us see clearly. Special thanks to Hobert Thompson!

    Episode 31 - Sweeping the Board with Dr. Lorenz Canard

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 11, 2017 55:25


    With the Holidays barely in the past, Tobes and Jesse have been getting quite a few questions from the Gnarlax on the nature of board games. They are joined by Dr. Lorenz Canard to move their education past "Go!" They then pay their guest $200. Special thanks to Tyler Jackson!

    Episode 30 - Live with Gnar Gnar Shredtown!

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 30, 2016 13:29


    This episode is a live version of our show performed at the Machine Culture Fundraiser Show. Just in case you missed it! Special thanks to Dan Wilcop, Zach Bartz and Kevin Gerrity!

    Episode 29 - Live from Outside of Late Late Breakfast!

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 23, 2016 56:33


    This week we packed up the rover and recorded on location outside of one of our favorite shows, Late Late Breakfast, to ask some local comedians what they would do if aliens arrived on Earth. Special thanks to Brandon Kieffer, Adam Kwaselow, Meredith Kachel, Bobby Budds, Liz and Danny Maupin!

    Episode 28 - Eatin' Toast and Huntin' Ghosts with Tim McLaughlin

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 15, 2016 42:41


    Indiana Expert and Professional Ghost Hunter Tim McLaughlin joins the boys in the studio today. We teach the Gnarlax about the horrors of the Midwest and inside baseball. Special thanks to Brandon Kirkman!

    Episode 27 - The Intricacies of Car Culture with Barb

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 9, 2016 44:22


    The Gnarlax seem quite interested in our main means of transportation: the automobile. So, what better a guest than local car hobbyist and vehicular dweller, Barb. This Grandma knows how to hang and she only has one rule. Special thanks to Kristen Lundberg!

    Episode 26 - Fairly Grim Tales w/ Michael Caruthers

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 2, 2016 44:29


    We all love Halloween. It's the absolute best! Tobes and Jesse talk with guest Michael Caruthers about some really spooky stuff: serial killers! Take a walk down the darker paths of humanity. Special thanks to J. Michael Osborne!

    Episode 25 - Anime-niacs! w/ Brandon Kirkman

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 28, 2016 42:54


    It seems the Gnarlax are more than a little intrigued by our nerdier forms of entertainment. Tobes and Jesse invite their friend Brandon Kirkman on to discuss the long-running anime and manga series "One Piece." Hold onto your cosplays, folks! Special thanks to Tim McLaughlin!

    Episode 24 - Young and Pretty; the World is Your Coachella w/ Jillian Marciano

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 19, 2016 35:31


    Tobes and Jesse teach the Gnarlax about the wonderful world of self medication! They have on their former classmate and noted beautiful person, Jillian Marciano, to talk about the mental health benefits of micro-dosing. Oh, and Jesse gets his feelings hurt. Special thanks to Carly Ballerini!

    Episode 23 - Thoreau-ly Enjoyable w/ Waterfall Schneider

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 12, 2016 43:41


    Tobes and Jesse learn alongside the Gnarlax as they delve into a topic that they are unfamiliar with: camping. Guest Waterfall Schneider teaches these two city boys (and countless aliens) about going out into nature, living deliberately, and cutting the power cord to commune with the trees. Special thanks to Kaitlyn Grissom!

    Episode 22 - The 69th Law of Robotics with Dr. Karey Anne Mason

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 5, 2016 49:26


    This week on Gnar Talk Radio, Tobes and Jesse teach the Gnarlax about the horrifying world of robotics. Dr. Karey Anne Mason is our guest and we cover all aspects of the cute, metallic destruction that we are slowly building for ourselves. Special thanks to Kelly Opalko!

    Episode 21 - Self-Reflexive Expert Textures with Dr. Derek Grey

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 21, 2016


    Tobes and Jesse go back to basics this week. The Gnarlax seem to be confused as to what exactly an expert is. So, they invite on Expert Expert, Dr. Derek Grey. Experts are his expertise. Special thanks to Aaron Ray!

    Episode 20 - Death of the Family w/ Orphelia Nightblade

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 13, 2016 42:09


    Tobes and Jesse teach the Gnarlax about the harsh reality that is growing up an orphan. Guest Orphelia Nightblade, whose parents are totally dead, teach us much about loss and animals. Special thanks to Lydia House!

    Episode 19 - Cat Sheltered w/ Simon Softhands

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 6, 2016 42:49


    Tobes and Jesse sit down with Simon Softhands, one of the worlds greatest cat trainers, to teach the Gnarlax about the difficulties of training our feline friends. We promise that no cats were harmed in the making of this episode. Special thanks to Blake Burkhart!

    Episode 18 - Chekov's Hate Speech w/ Rummington Crams

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 31, 2016 32:44


    This week Tobes and Jesse teach the Gnarlax about the wonderful art of acting. Their guest, master thespian Rummington Crams, opens up about his experiences and just how tough it is to live inside the mind of an actor. Frankly, it seems like a real mess of a time. Special thanks to Joe McMahon!

    Episode 17 - A Legitimate Reason for Solitary Living with Jeremy Stewart

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 24, 2016 31:03


    This week Tobes and Jesse sit down with noted naturalist Jeremy Stewart. They intended to teach the Gnarlax about the wonders of nature. Instead, it seems like they've stepped into some heavy shit. Special thanks to Brad Einstein!

    Episode 16 - Can't Get Lost If Your Map is Blank w/ Tim Clearwood aka Johnny Conquest

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 17, 2016 55:44


    Tobes and Jesse show the Gnarlax a broader scope of Earth living. They sit down with explorer, and noted wanderer, Tim Clearwood aka Johnny Conquest. Johnny Conquest has never been lost. He's seen it all. Special thanks to Kevin Gerrity!

    Episode 15 - Whirled Religions w/ Petey

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 10, 2016 34:25


    This week, Tobes and Jesse are joined by Petey, the world renowned child prophet! We teach the Gnarlax about what happens to a childhood deferred by the hand of God. Special thanks to Amy Thompson!

    Episode 14 - Faygo F*** Yaself! w/ Gene tha Juggalo Genie

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 3, 2016 34:27


    Tobes and Jesse sit down with Gene tha Juggalo Genie and teach Gnarlax and mankind about the least understood subsect of any genre of music: the elusive Juggalo. We learn about everything from face paint to free loading. Special thanks to Dale McPeek!

    Episode 13 - Soft but Strong w/ Cilantro Tooney

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 27, 2016 36:55


    Join Tobes and Jesse as they get back into the swing of things after their highly successful book tour. They're joined by guest expert Cilantro Tooney to teach Gnarlax and Humans alike about the gigantic business that nobody is talking about: Toilet Paper. We take a glimpse into the industry that everybody shits on. Special thanks to Atra Asdou!

    Episode 12 - Born2Guard w/ Kurt Pickelow

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 20, 2016 33:50


    This week Tobes and Jesse teach the Gnarlax about swimmin'. More specifically, they have on guest Kurt Pickelow: Lifeguard Extraordinaire. We learn about saving lives whether the water is chlorinated, salienated, or fresh2death. Hopefully minimal death though. Special thanks to Zach Bartz!

    Episode 11 - Goin' Dutch and Gettin' Real Toasty w/ Leeeesa Schumacher

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 29, 2016 47:22


    This week Tobes and Jesse are joined by their bud Leeeesa Schumacher. She's been in Holland for a spell, but she's finally back! She's here to teach the dudes, and Gnarlax, about the wonderful world of Dutch VHS. Special thanks to Emily Fightmaster!

    Episode 10 - The Animal Kingdom w/ "Danger" Dick Turnbuckle

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 22, 2016 35:51


    This week Tobes and Jesse get the opportunity to meet one of their childhood heroes, "Danger" Dick Turnbuckle. They teach the Gnarlax that it's the Animal Kingdom not the animal democracy, and to never, ever, meet your heroes. Special thanks to Dan Drees!

    Episode 9 - Locked, Loaded, and Hard AF w/ Officer Corey

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 15, 2016 38:49


    This week, Tobes and Jesse teach the Gnarlax about human sexuality. They speak with their childhood sexual education teacher/policeman, Officer Corey. Thanks, Public School System! Special thanks to Gary Pascal!

    Episode 8 - All Cards Eventually End Up in the Graveyard w/ Roosevelt Coolidge

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 7, 2016 39:04


    Tobes and Jesse meet with internationally ranked Magic: The Gathering player, Roosevelt Coolidge. We teach the Gnarlax all about the perils and health risks that come with being a professional table top gamer. Special thanks to Norm Holly!

    Episode 7 - An Abstract Piece is Several Layers w/ Dora St. Vincent

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 1, 2016 30:27


    Tobes and Jesse have on Junior Curator from the Art Institute, Dora St. Vincent, to talk about the fundamentals of art. We learn that artists, art and Junior Curators are really, very hard to like. Special thanks to Claire Friedman!

    Episode 6 - The Forest is Dark and Screaming w/ Barry Lundgaard

    Play Episode Listen Later May 24, 2016 32:58


    Tobes and Jesse are visited by Barry Lundgaard, a local Plant Psychologist. They learn that plants all have complex emotions, but the darkest forest is within the minds of men. Special thanks to Jonathan Euseppi!

    Episode 5 - Normal, Every-day, Human Dating w/ Trey Whitesmith AKA "White Mystery"

    Play Episode Listen Later May 11, 2016 36:34


    Tobes and Jesse invite dating expert Trey Whitesmith AKA "White Mystery" onto the show to teach the Gnarlax and the world about the wonders of modern, human dating. Swipe right to get down with this episode. Special thanks to David Philips!

    Episode 4 - How the Other Half Parties w/ Darbaz the Gnarlax Minister of Partying

    Play Episode Listen Later May 4, 2016 32:03


    Today Tobes and Jesse sit down with Darbaz the Gnarlax Minister of Partying! They learn that, anatomy aside, we're not that different. We all just want to get to partyin'! Special thanks to Shannon Noll!

    Episode 3 - An In-depth Discussion on Books w/ Prof. Dirk Gingler

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 27, 2016 35:51


    Tobes and Jesse invite their old philosophy professor onto the show to teach the Gnarlax about books. They learn more than they bargained for, because Dirk Gingler is the smartest dude they know. Special thanks to Nick Martin!

    Episode 2 - The Intricacies of Sports and War w/ Dave Maher

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 20, 2016 38:49


    Tobes and Jesse have a dope chat with Sports Expert Dave Maher. We talk about the similarities between sports and war and have some very profitable ideas for YouTube. Special thanks to Dave Maher!

    Episode 1 - Fear-based Interplanetary Relations w/ General Herman Fox

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 13, 2016 38:22


    Tobes and Jesse sit down with General Herman Fox whose approach to our new extraterrestrial buds is decidedly not chill. Special thanks to Charles "Chuck" Pettitt!

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