You Gotta See This

Collin and Margaret break out the glitter and eyeliner for the 1972 Liza Minnelli-Bob Fosse classic Cabaret. Collin is once again confronted by surprise Nazis and Margaret gives unsolicited advice to Sophia Coppola. They discuss suffragettes, Sally Bowles’ incredible haircut, and why pouncing is always a bad dating strategy.

Collin and Margaret live dangerously with the 1993 action-adventure classic Cliffhanger. Margaret pitches her idea for a sitcom spinoff and Collin reveals the title of his future autobiography. They chat about pyramid schemes, sex words, bunny murder, and why making dinner plans will kill you.

Collin and Margaret sing and dance their way through old timey New York with the 1992 movie musical Newsies. Margaret is unironically inspired by the fight for worker’s rights while Collin composes new songs to improve the thin narrative. They discuss Cutco knives, Texas politics, football coach mysteries, and Christian Bale’s floppy hair.

Collin and Margaret double down on the 1998 Matt Damon poker drama Rounders. Collin comes out as a closet Real Housewives fan and Margaret reminisces about when Bravo used to be classy. They take bets on drips, work wives, trampoline rooms, and John Malkovich’s prescient Borat impersonation.

Collin and Margaret go Old Hollywood with the 1950’s film noir classic Sunset Boulevard. Margaret revisits her big, weird middle school feelings and Collin confesses his secret serial killer aspirations. They shoot emotional gunshots, plug their enemy’s podcast, and discuss how Norma Desmond was the OG Michael Jackson.

Collin and Margaret go for a wild ride with the 1986 bike messenger thriller Quicksilver. Collin plays 69 degrees of Kevin Bacon and Margaret drops some post-structuralist philosophy. They cover “Larry” Fishburne, bathroom bans, bicycle modern dance, and why all life decisions should be inspired by murals.

Collin and Margaret get Shakespearean with the 1993 Kenneth Branagh/Emma Thompson love-fest Much Ado About Nothing. Collin is stressed out by the hijinks and deception while Margaret belated remembers that she used to fast forward through the bad acting (Keanu!) to get to the good parts (witty banter!). The chat about 90’s eyebrows, group bathing, Harry Potter love triangles, and why everyone cries on a Clark Street on Saturday nights.

Collin and Margaret get futuristic with the 1997 sci-fi spectacle The Fifth Element. Margaret shoehorns in some Captain Planet references and Collin makes his best attempt at gaslighting. They discuss the bro handbook, hot McDonald's workers, how many sneezes is the right number of sneezes, and why Charlie Chaplin was a creep.

Collin and Margaret get out their #2 pencils and watch the 1988 inspirational math classic Stand and Deliver. Collin shares a sweet story about his first kiss while Margaret shares an embarrassing one about farting in Spanish class. They chat about bell curves, MySpace, The Great British Bake Off, and why Eddie Jimmy Olmos will slap your face.

Collin and Margaret swing for the fences with their 1989 baseball comedy classic Major League. Collin drops some knowledge about giant cardboard cutouts and Margaret makes bold predictions for the sequel. They discuss Moby Dick, light stalking, the indignity of glasses, and PBS specials about trains.

Collin and Margaret get their hearts warmed by 1994’s inspirational baseball tale Angels in the Outfield. Collin marvels at the number of Academy Award winners in this movie and Margaret revisits some childhood best friend backstabbing. They cover Boyz in the Hood, Serena Williams, the science march, and the origin of the name Ranch.

Collin and Margaret get caught up in the high-stakes world of professional killers with 1994’s The Professional. Collin channels a young Gary Oldman while Margaret stresses out over a borrowed DVD. They discuss core strength, Wayne’s World, the 1996 Broadway revival of Chicago, and guns controlled by tinier guns.

Margaret and Collin indulge in some tween wish fulfillment with the 1998 remake of The Parent Trap. Collin meets his own long lost twin brother and Margaret reveals her long list of relationship demands. They gossip about alligator facts, jai alai, competitive news anchors, and watching TV in bars.

Collin and Margaret get a creepy 90’s vibe with the serial killer whodunit Se7en. Margaret makes multiple X-Files references (natch) and Collin receives a surprise visit from Al Pacino. They investigate The Odd Couple, people who are unrecognizable without beards, what Morgan Freeman should do when he retires.

Margaret and Collin get nostalgic with the classic movie musical The Sound of Music. Collin proclaims Captain von Trapp hotter than Klingon Christopher Plummer and Margaret reveals why you shouldn’t always read the book before seeing the movie. They harmonize over The Art of the Deal, secret unmarked tester sodas, and why Hollywood won’t let men age.

Collin and Margaret are breaking the rules to bring you the still-in-theaters horror hit Get Out. Collin reveals the meaning behind the creepy Froot Loop scene and Margaret quotes from a lot of internet think pieces. They get to the bottom of soft soaping, self-righteous white people, and why Rod is the best.

Collin and Margaret take to the woods with the 1994 parent-free kid fantasy Camp Nowhere. Collin rages at some bullies while Margaret assures him that their future children will be nerds. They discuss Minecraft, freezer carrots, and why Collin would have been hot in a different decade.

Collin introduces Margaret to the wacky world of the 1985 science fiction comedy Weird Science. Collin continues his Bill Paxton crush while Margaret digs deep to find the internal logic behind “computers + lightning = science.” They investigate mom bras, bikers from hell, and the touching past of a naked piano player.

Margaret and Collin get political with the still-relevant 1976 political thriller All the President’s Men. Collin empathizes with Robert Redford’s note-taking style and Margaret starts some vicious pizza-related rumors (they’re not what you’re thinking).They get to the bottom of pocket cameras, historical fucks, and whether or not Northwestern actually exists.

Collin and Margaret venture to the wild, wild west for the 1995 quickdraw classic The Quick and The Dead. Margaret feels a surprising attraction to Russell Crowe, while Collin loves watching him get more and more beat up. They cover dry shampoo, terrible Swedish accents, and what exactly Ashton Kutcher is up to these days.

Collin follows Margaret deep into 90’s pre-teen girl world with The Baby-Sitters Club. Margaret mourns her failed attempt at middle school babysitting glory and Collin shares his own heartbreak of a childhood birthday party gone wrong. They discuss diabetes, lady news anchors, and winning hearts with slight of hand magic.

Collin and Margaret finally enter the 2000’s with Robert Downey Jr.’s pulpy murder mystery Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Margaret sorts out the crimes of various Hollywood bad boys, while Collin gauges her level of enjoyment based on the placement of her blanket. They talk about doors made of knives, faces you want to slap, and actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf.

Margaret goes full-British with the 1995 Jane Austen/Emma Thompson/Kate Winslet award-winner Sense and Sensibility. Collin is slightly bored by the lack of sex and violence (and all that whispering!) but they find common ground in their blinding hatred of the handsome scoundrel Willoughby. They discuss horse farts, sheep shearing, Collin’s Die Hard Addiction, Tony Lebron’s travel habits, and why Margaret never recommends books to Collin.

Collin hits a homerun with the 1994 Michael Keaton classic The Paper. Margaret is thrilled to watch a movie from the ‘90’s that doesn’t feel racist or sexist, while Collin delights in discovering new details about these scrappy reporters and their newsroom clubhouse. They cover the Columbia House pyramid scheme, Bob Costas’ bathroom habits, and have a Randy Newman sing-along.

Margaret is delighted to introduce Collin to the 1952 musical comedy classic Singin’ in the Rain. While they are charmed by the incandescent Gene Kelly and Debbie Reynolds, Collin and Margaret find kinship with slapstick genius Donald O’Connor and unapologetic loudmouth Jean Hagen. The discuss Collin’s beautiful dancer’s legs, severe carpet burn, botched takeout orders, and their own mortality.

Collin and Margaret sift through his childhood favorite My Blue Heaven to separate the good stuff (Rick Moranis! Joan Cusack!) from the parts that haven’t aged so well. Margaret is unable to fathom any woman’s attraction to fake-Italian Steve Martin while Collin speculates about the alternate-timeline version starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito. They cover giant shoulder pads, polyester athletic wear, standing at attention during the national anthem, and whether or not Schwarzenegger could have pulled off an Italian accent.

Collin enters intense nostalgia territory when Margaret over-identifies with everyone’s favorite childhood heroine: Matilda. Margaret gushes about Mara Wilson’s memoir while Collin makes a convincing case for why Matilda = Harry Potter + Die Hard. They cover sex with Isaac Newton, farting for dramatic effect, and why it’s still too soon to make jokes about Abraham Lincoln’s death.

Collin knows Margaret loves a good strategy session and outdoes himself by recommending the early 90’s computer hacker heist classic Sneakers. Collin daydreams of about life married to Sidney Poitier while Margaret attempts to reenact Dan Aykroyd’s bizarre Crystal Head Vodka commercial. They discuss Robert Redford’s handsomeness, computers the size of benches, intentionally cursing to prove you’re a grown up, and the sad fate of dollar movie theaters.

Margaret introduces Collin to the Lebron family road trip staple While You Were Sleeping. Although Collin and Margaret lack Sandra Bullock’s commitment to Christmas tree installation,  Margaret covets all her bulky 90’s sweaters and oversized coats. They discuss mistake babies, insider Chicago knowledge, Margaret’s lower half equipment, and which friends are allowed to look at their junk (extenuating circumstances, of course).

Collin and Margaret make the mistake of eating after midnight with the 80’s Christmas-adjacent classic Gremlins. Collin crushes hard on mousy beauty queen Phoebe Cates while Margaret shamelessly begs for a shoulder massage. They discuss butt friendship, dog murder, Pokemon Go, and when adult men should give up on their dreams.

Collin and Margaret travel back to childhood with the 1986 made-for-TV Jim Henson joint The Christmas Toy. Topics covered include how to properly dispose of a dead body, who is allowed to have opinions about Abraham Lincoln, and a potential sequel in which toys hunt down Nazi war criminals. Special guests include Margaret’s mom (Mo!) and Bane from The Dark Knight Rises.   Watch The Christmas Toy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3Yl85m1nfA&t=4s Watch the incredible Kraft commercials: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6j9v75ktiaM&t=1s    

Collin questions the very definition of reality when he and Margaret accidentally watch the director’s cut of Lethal Weapon. They contemplate sex robes, phones with their own suitcases, the consequences of eggnog, and Danny Glover’s Civil War injury. Spoilers for Lethal Weapon 2, Speed 2 and, bizarrely, the underrated Robert Downey Jr. classic Home for the Holidays.

Margaret and Collin find themselves knee-deep in feelings discussing the Aaron Sorkin classic The American President. Margaret tries her hand at loving insults and Collin makes good on a decade-old promise to a former coworker. They discuss almond butter, dating butchers, and make terrible political predictions from the past (we’re so sorry, everyone).

Margaret comes to this trilogy right in the middle and immediately falls in love with badass Ripley and the adorably feral Newt. Collin breaks Margaret’s heart by telling her the plot of Aliens 3 so she pitches her own version that’s light on aliens and heavy on smooching. They cover big dick guns, Paul Reiser: capitalist overlord, and why you should never call a grown woman “kiddo.”

Collin and Margaret regain their hope for humanity by watching the inspirational triumph Apollo 13. Margaret relives her middle school creative problem-solving glory days while Collin falls deeper in love with his soulmate Bill Paxton. They discuss Kim Kardashian, five million dollar wristwatches, and unintentionally predict the outcome of the presidential election (sorry, America).   Check out the very real (and very sexist) newspaper profile of Poppy Northcutt, the only woman working in Mission Control during the real Apollo 13 mission: https://news.google.com/newspapers?dat=19700428&id=2uEPAAAAIBAJ&sjid=YYoDAAAAIBAJ&pg=7296,6562645&hl=en  

The wacky 90’s Schwarzenegger action classic True Lies is one of Collin’s childhood favorites, but Margaret is less than thrilled with the treatment of beautiful, hilarious Jamie Lee Curtis. They explore Tom Arnold: Voice of Reason, the moral complexities of dealing cultural antiquities, Muppets shooting Uzis, and whether panties is ever an appropriate word.  

Collin and Margaret get Halloween SPOOKY with The Blair Witch Project. Collin must confront his vomit-related trauma and Margaret reveals her secret past as a ghost tour guide. They trade hometown horror stories and speculate about what would happen if they were lost in the woods together.

Collin and Margaret go full 90’s with the teen slasher classic I Know What You Did Last Summer. Margaret is thrilled to watch a horror film that’s not at all scary, but angered characters’ absurdly easy internet research. They discuss fish shacks, stringy hair as a sign of emotional distress, factoring rehab into your life plans and script their own version of the sequel.

Margaret shares her own personal trio of American classics: The Philadelphia Story, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, and Harvey. Collin is on board with Jimmy Stewart’s boyish charm but can’t quite deal with the slow pace and contrived romances. They cover capable ladies, creepy uncles, bugle songs, food sickness, and secret girlfriends

Collin attempts to fill the largest hole in Margaret’s movie knowledge -- The Godfather Trilogy. Margaret is underwhelmed by Marlon Brando, in love with old-timey Robert DeNiro, and grossed-out by cousin-lover Andy Garcia. They debate best movie deaths and play a rousing game of F/M/K.