Zero If I Could

It's Raul's Birthday.

On this episode we are joined by our friend David Zafra. Neti Pot gets a 1 star review for possibly killing someone, Pep Boys forgets to tighten the bolts on several cars, A reviewer reminisces about his crush on the Donut Shop owner's daughter, and more!

Comedians discuss absurd the most absurd reviews the internet has to offer. A moving company is gets a bad review for moving too slow, Someone bleaches their hair blonde to the point where all of it falls out, The show freaks and geeks get a 1 star , A theme park in michigan is accused of being racist. and more!

On this episode we are joined by comedian and friend Rui Montilla. Britney shares about her latest fender bender. The Space Needle gets a bad review for it's lack of security, A reviewer gives a 1 star to Tinder because he got catfished, and more!

On this episode a Casino gets a bad review from someone who hasn't been there. A reviewer for Pike Place Market is afraid that a homeless heroin addict will puncture their tires, A toddler salon has an infamous hair stylist, someone reviews a porn game, and more!

On this episode we are joined by our good friend Ian Oder. We debate whether hot cheetos are chips, A patron of a sushi establishment witnesses 5 men mooning them, A misogynistic Limousine driver makes their client angry, and more!

On episode we are joined by good friend and comedian Joe Grillo. On this episode a reviewer slips on piss, someone loses their Grill at a Brewery, The show Euphoria gets a bad review for showing too many dicks, and more!

On this episode we are joined by our good friend and comedian Chip Nicholson.  We read a review for Pepsi Blue. An accountant responds to his 1 star review by spilling their personal financial situation along with insults.  We play a game of would you rather with Britney, and more!

On this episode we are joined by good friend and comedian Nick Crosby.   Someone reviews a club based on them getting squirted with breast milk, a Subway Movie Theater gets 5 stars for doing the bare minimum, A reviewer get shamed at McDonalds for getting too mant ketchup packets and more!

A Child plays with a reviewer's organic tampon. A review for a youtube app, Marve'ls What If series gets a low rating for being too woke. Britney reads a review for a Treatment center scam, and more!

Sal Viesca joins us! There's a dick piercing review, a reviewer mentions how his dad was a traitor. A vegan restaurant gets a low review and more.

On this episode we are joined by comedian Luke Schwartz. Berbati's Pan gets 1 star after a beer is thrown at the reviewer and she is kicked out of the venue via chokehold. Beverly Hills Highschool gets a scathing review from a parent who believes it's becoming too diverse. A reviewer claims donating plasma at Bio-Mat Chula Vista is unwelcoming to caucasians and more!

On today's episode we are joined by long time best friend Ricky Vallejo. We record in person at Big Bear! A horseback rider is annoyed she is shushed by the riding instructor, Someone reviews The Office Clue Board game 5 stars. A reviewer rates a bar 1 star because his friends aren't showing up anymore and more!

This episode we are joined by comedian and friend Gordon Downs. On this episode a reviewer is threatened by a donut shop owner for not getting a dozen donuts, The Pokemon Go mobile game receives 1 star, A customer is offended that the owner to this bar won't tell these other patrons to stop doing cocaine, and more!

On this special episode of Zero If I Could we debate Freddy vs Jason with David Zafra.

On this episode someone reviews a game because it was in Back to the Future. A reviewer hires a restoration company that turns out to be fraud, and continues to use them two more times  A gaming cafe gives itself a 5 star review from a patron's account. Someone reviews the movie X-Men: Days of Future Past highly because you can see Hugh Jackman's booty.

On this episode we are joined by friend and comedian Daunte Cordova. Cirque Du Soleil: Zoomanity is given a 1 star review for being too sexual, A reviewer thinks the game Among Us is absolutely sickening, Someone feels way too strongly about a screen protector, and more!

On this episode we are joined by friend and comedian Ryan Shores. A reviewer is in rage because their no soliciting sign isn't taken seriously, A Kickboxing class is rated 1 star because they're not teaching old world karate, A couple tries to someone to join them for a threesome at a gay bath house and more!

On this episode Millennium Park gets a 5 star review, as the reviewer sadly becomes nostalgic regarding his divorce, Say Cheese Pizza gets a low rating for mixing their salad with their bare hands, a wedding photographer adds hair to their clients receding hairline, and more!

On this episode we are joined by our friend and comedian Jesse Egan. A Mohel gets a 5 star review for his circumcision skills, A customer feels he is humiliated at an escape room, Chuck E Cheese gets a 1 star for reusing left over pizza, and more!

This Episode we are joined by comedian and friend Dan Bublitz. On this episode someone reviews a Costco 1 star because they got their parking stolen, A Bait and Tackle shop thanks a reviewer for giving them 3 stars, An employee is convinced his corporate job is the reason his wife cheated on him, and more!

This episode we are joined by comedian and friend Arielle Conversi. On this episode we read reviews for a Dunkin Donuts, Easy loan gets a one star review for texting their clientele to pay up, A reviewer is convinced that a metaphysical store is worshipping satan, and more!  

On this episode: A Target reviewer has no idea how magnets work. A Dentist gets a 1 star for deciding to cancel on their clients procedure while they were in waiting room. An escape room is rated poorly for allowing the Architect of the escape room to intrude on their group fun.  and more!

On this episode we are joined by Steve Schustek.   A reviewer is kicked out of a pizza place for getting too many toppings. Someone reviews The Justice League Snyder Cut 5 stars and says it is the most influential piece of cinema of our time. We read a 5 star review and a 1 star review for the show A Teacher, and more!

On this episode we are joined by comedian Chip Nicholson. A reviewer expects her at home enema kit to give her sexual pleasure. Target is rated 1 star for not telling a customer to wear a mask and also rated 1 star for telling a customer to wear a mask. Coyote Ugly Saloon apparently doesn't wipe down vomit off their bar, and more!

This episode we are joined by Portland comedian Chase Brocket. A reviewer complains about Target's escalator scent, Someone is dissatisfied with the size of their Playdoh, a lady rates her Oujii Board 5 stars for allowing her to contact her dead son and more!

On this episode we are joined by comedian and friend David Zafra. We discuss a lot of horror movies. Someone rate The Undertaker Funko Pop highly, A reviewer is upset that she was asked if she needed help at bath and body works. The owner of a flower shop is given a series of bad reviews for storming the US Capitol,  OB noodle house gets a 1 star due to their fortune cookie, and more!

On this episode we are joined by comedian Nikki Bon. A ride at Belmont Park gets a 1 star for apparent child endangerment, a reviewer hates Settlers of Catan but can't seem to stop playing it, a math teacher is rated poorly by multiple students on rate my professor, an edgy ice skater rates a rink 1 star, and more!

This episode we are joined by author and comedian Jimmy Callaway. A reviewer is very disappointed that his cologne isn't attracting women, The book The Secret Life of A Satanist is given 5 stars by a overly pompous reviewer, The Bar Coyote Ugly gets a scathing review from a girl, and more!

This episode we are joined by one of our closest friend, Kaitlin Kilgallon. Someone reviews Hellraiser and is appalled by sex scenes, George Orwell's 1984 gets a scathing review, A DJ Company is rated 1 star for playing karaoke versions of songs, and more!

On this episode we are joined by comedian Ehsan Ahmad. A reviewer is upset that her morning radio show has phoned it in after 25 years. Someone can't keep their rabbit from chewing their electronics. An over protective mother rates a day care poorly. Some lady criticizes every comedian at the comedy store by name and more!

On this episode we are joined by comedian Zoltan Kaszas. A reviewer hates video calls for his medical consultation, a Best Western hotel is rated 1 star for having frequent shootings, someone rates Casa Blanca poorly for being a black and white film, and more!

On this episode we are joined by Emmy winning writer Dallas McLaughlin. Someone reviews applying shaving powder to their genitals, A woman gives Qualcomm Stadium a 1 star for kicking her out, and a reviewer feels uncomfortable reading this baby book called "If animals kissed good night." 

The Review Review has rebranded and back better than ever.  On this episode we talk about Britney almost getting punched by a homeless person, her infamous vag pic,  We read reviews for Slotzilla Las Vegas Zip line. There's a man living in the restroom at the San Diego Public Library. Apparently everyone at this Carl's Jr is a gang member. A review for Dave and Buster's, and more!

This episode we are joined by Jake Disharoon and Chip Nicholson. We read reviews for The Golden Tiki Bar, where the owner snaps back at customer reviews. The Cupcake Ladi, who apparently is deranged. A review for JoJo Rabbit, The Cum Town Podcast, and more!

This episode we are joined by comedians Jesse Egan and Zoltan Kaszas. We discuss doing comedy on New Years Eve and talk about our trip to vegas. We read reviews for Corduroy bar, where some lady was put in a choke hold. Apparently if you're ugly you don't get attention from at Thunder Down Under. A review for Penn and Teller, and more!

This episode we are joined by friends and comedians Ryan Hicks and James Schrader. We talk about Britney's relationship with the gym. What age we lost our virginity, and read reviews for Auschwitz, Comic-Con, A Sherrif's Office, and more!

This episode we are joined by our good friends Stephanie O'loughlin and David Zafra. We read reviews on the doorless restrooms at Archway Lounge, A delusional reviewer who refers to himself as the hero at Trophy Lounge. An unpleasant visit at Knottscary Farm. A new review by our favorite fiery reviewer named Ashley. A racist mental institution and more!

This episode we are joined by siblings Corey Peeples and Nicki Peeples. We talk about a memorable time at the blarney stone, a couple of poop stories of course, and read reviews for Albertsons, A storage facility, coyote ugly, and more! 

This episode we are joined by comedians and friends Alan Henderson and Mike Freedman. We discuss reviews for a community center, a powerwash business, a pet psychic, a perfume shop, and more!

This episode we are joined by our good friends Kaitlin Kilgallon and Braxton Corbin. We talk about irish accents, an escape room experience, horse girls and discuss reviews for a nursing home, Mesa Community College, The Real House Wives of New York, A Human Bone on sale, and more!

This episode we are joined by comedians Maximilian Manticof and TD Cunningham.  We talk unique names, porn camera men, feline aids and read reviews for Horton Plaza Parking Garage, A brothel called Sue's Fantasy Club,  A dog groomer, Thruster's and more!

This episode we are joined by Alexandra Steinborn and Steve Schustek. We talk about Steve's Cats. A lot of fart stuff, Alexandra's butt art. And discuss reviews for a gastroenterologist, Chip and Dales, the movie IT, Sycuan Casino, San Diego Police Head Quarters, and more!

This episode we are joined by Neil Sing and Sal Viesca. We discuss Neil's previous employment as an end of life assistant. Sal tells us about the time his room mate unknowingly ate his edibles. and discuss reviews for The Heart Attack Grill, A DUI attorney named Mr. Gold, Jet Blue Airlines, a gun called the YEET CANNON and more.

This episode we are joined by comedians Mike Bentley and John Adkins.   We talk sex duration, Bread, Flying and discuss reviews for a dermatologist, The Ocean Beach Play House, an Adult Depot, The Howard Fine Acting Studio, a strip club, Thruster's Lounge. and more!

This episode we have comedians Anthony Mcilwain and Brian Macduffee! We talk about drugs, festivals, car accidents, and discuss reviews for a restaurant, butt butter, the movie for requiem for a dream, An Irish Bar, and an outlet mall.

This episode we are joined by Zoltan Kaszas and Dustin Nickerson. We read reviews for a church, Chippendales, a divorce lawyer, a carnival cruise, the show Euphoria and more!

This episode we are joined by the hosts of the UR Dying Alone Podcast, Jordan Jacobo and Cristyn Chandler. We discuss reviews for Hash House a go go, A Bar arcade called Coin-op, Liberty Cleaners, Zion Hospital, A lawn care gardener, Thurster's Lounge, The Caribou Club and more!

This episode we have comedians J.Patrick McCoig and Danny Cash.   We discuss reviews for Lawn Mower 2.0 for Man Scaping, A Gun Range, Bright Burn, The DMV and more!

This episode we are joined by comedians Jesse Egan and Gordon Downs. We read reviews for Lestat's Coffe Shop, A Paranormal Mind Reading Reading Magic Show in Vegas. Starbucks, a Dentist who calls himself the Tooth Man and more!

This episode we are joined by comedians Tatiana Cwiklinski and Bryant Fauss. We read reviews for a bar called Whistle Stop, Las Vegas Dance Crew The Jabbawockeez, Triple Crown Pub, Movie Themed Bar The Coyote Ugly, a Preschool, and Cirque De Soleil Michael Jackson Vegas Show.