I'd Rather Not is a weekly comedy podcast about bad decisions and how we make them. Each episode our "expert" panel welcomes a guest to dissect "would you rather" scenarios and vote on a "winner". It always either ends in death or an existential crisis.
WOULD YOU RATHER: Be forced to live with a younger version of yourself OR be forced to live in a house where the house will kill you? Guests: Gabe Wahl, Scott Chillingworth
WOULD YOU RATHER: Be unable to make a point in under 12 hours OR only be able to perform tasks using YouTube lifehacks? Guests: Gabe Wahl, Scott Chillingworth
WOULD YOU RATHER: Have all food be pumpkin spiced all year round OR have all food and drink only available as various flavors of vape juice? Guests: Gabe Wahl, Scott Chillingworth
WOULD YOU RATHER: Bring in a celebrity guest host every week OR hold an outrageous competition to find a new female co-host?
Have every cab driver attempt to convert you to their religion OR have every homeless person you encounter aggressively target you?
WOULD YOU RATHER: Never be able to accurately quote a pop culture reference OR only be able to talk in bad impressions?
WOULD YOU RATHER: Have your work featured exclusively in children's sitcoms OR lead a double life and not face the benefits of either?
WOULD YOU RATHER: Be an awful singer with amazing stage presence OR be an amazing singer with awful stage presence?
While Oscar is in a mild coma, John finally gives in to the machines and brings back a classic.
WOULD YOU RATHER: Give the absolute worst takes to promote your second career running an OnlyFans catering to the absolute worst people OR Give the absolute worst takes to promote your second career as a horribly unsuccessful content creator?
WOULD YOU RATHER: Have two tails you can use to fly but are prone to making lots of mistakes OR have extremely powerful punches but are really gullible?
WOULD YOU RATHER: Everyday you're hustlin' OR every decision you make is a pimp decision?
Instead of one question, Oscar starts throwing way too many "Would You Rather" questions at the rest of the Rathernauts.
WOULD YOUR RATHER: Be a trash person OR a literal dumpster fire?
WOULD YOU RATHER: Be trapped on infinite stairs OR head the Sonic drowning music every time you touch water?
WOULD YOU RATHER: Lite Brite Terrorists OR NFT the moon?
[CONTENT WARNING: Oscar intentionally makes this question misleading in an attempt to get us in trouble.] WOULD YOU RATHER: Wear Black face [AEW wrestler Malakai Black's face] OR say the N-word [the word is "no"]?
WOULD YOU RATHER: Run a fighting league for powerful world-destroying monsters OR run a mystery-solving organization that only solves the most mundane mysteries?
Once again the Rathernauts gather together to revisit some of the past year's worst scenarios to see if things got any better. They haven't.
WOULD YOU RATHER: Travel the multiverse OR have the multiverse invade your reality?
WOULD YOU RATHER: have a black dragon OR a black horse?
WOULD YOU RATHER: only be able to wear gloves that are slightly too small OR only be able to wear clothing stained with Bill Clinton's c*m? Guest: Mystakin
WOULD YOU RATHER: Be a skeleton or a mummy?
WOULD YOU RATHER: The Cult of Dionysis or Calling All Destroyers?
WOULD YOU RATHER: Live in a world that’s a vampire OR wear celebrity skin?
WOULD YOU RATHER: Be the Drift King of Tokyo OR attempt a heist while being pursued by The Rock?
In a special bonus episode, John and Oscar attempt to write the next season of the Canadian television show Second Generation.
WOULD YOU RATHER: Have all food be cake OR have all music be CAKE?
WOULD YOU RATHER: Be cost an arm OR a leg?
WOULD YOU RATHER Have an adaptation of your favorite franchise ruined by: a studio-mandated original character OR dialog replaced with outdated memes?
WOULD YOU RATHER: Unlimited inventory space OR physical status bars?
WOULD YOU RATHER: Get paid to create something that is removed at the last second OR have your work only featured in bad products?
WOULD YOU RATHER: Never age but your backstory is constantly changing OR have a random event from your life retconned?
Doctor John and Doctor Oscar once again use their combined medical experience and expertise to answer questions submitted by listeners!
After 149 episodes. will the Rathernauts finally pay for their crimes? It all comes down to this.
WOULD YOU RATHER: Be stalked by a Shirime or a Kanbari Nyudo?
WOULD YOU RATHER: Be banned by every form of communication after using it once because it incites violence OR have your Peloton hacked by the Russians?
WOULD YOU RATHER: Compete in a talent show where the prize is death OR replace the personal assistants of a wealthy family?
It’s a Christmas Miraccccclllllleeeee! Andy has returned since Owen is in prison, and helps the Rathernauts give a second chance to some of the scenarios that failed to win them over during the past year.
WOULD YOU RATHER: Funko Pop economy OR Communist werewolves?
WOULD YOU RATHER: Be forced to work Black Friday retail OR be forced to work for the elections board in the middle of an election?
You are tasked to replace the United States’ voting system. WOULD YOU RATHER: Have presidential elections determined by the Cannonball Run OR have them determined with a Battle of the Bands?
WOULD YOU RATHER: Have everything you love replaced with Hugh Jackman OR have “c***” become the new official greeting?
WOULD YOU RATHER: Be back in black OR on a crazy train?
WOULD YOU RATHER: Moderate a debate between two senile old sun-downing gentlemen vying to be president OR their two large sons?
WOULD YOU RATHER: Have unlimited hats but you must wear a different kind every day OR have only one hat that holds all of your life energy and a vulture is constantly trying to steal it?
WOULD YOU RATHER: Wake up and mysteriously find yourself in the past OR wake up and mysteriously find yourself living a completely different life?