Arnold Schwarzenegger Presents

It's finally here, the first annual Arnold Schwarzenegger Battle Royale! Marvel as all 44 previous Arnold Schwarzenegger characters are sorted into categories and forced to fight to the death in a tournament scenario. Can Mr. Freeze overcome Handsome Stranger? Will the T-800 Terminator defeat the T-850 one? And who exactly is Bar Patron? Joined by Ry, creator of the Arnold Schwarzenegger Presents and Sven Watch themes, Rob and Jemry oversee the grand Arnold Schwarzenegger Battle Royale, and come to a surprising result.

Our podcast's coverage of Arnold Schwarzenegger films almost comes to an end in the penultimate episode of season 1. Joined by Nick Mason, we cover Arnold's latest* theatrical release, Terminator: Dark Fate, and review what we have learned so far, which admittedly isn't much. Recorded in late 2019 in a lead up to the Arnold Schwarzenegger Battle Royale, this episode features book smarts, stunt doubles and murder victims, along with an aging robot that's learned how to feel. *I'm not entirely sure when Journey to China: The Mystery of Iron Mask releases.

Joined by Avery Hutley, the podcast watches the Scoot McNairy film Aftermath and then, in the Aftermath of that traumatic event, discusses cinema sound calibration, air traffic control protocol, and the merits of military training from a long, long time ago. Oh, and the film itself.

Randy Adeva returns to the podcast for a record third time to discuss the extended SNL sketch that is Taran Killam's Killing Gunther. As with most other episodes of the podcast, Arnold Schwarzenegger makes an appearance in the film we're discussing, and is arguably the best part. Our fight to the death this week finally enters the MCU™, as The Hulk™ takes on a brain surgeon, an ice skater and a dancing clown who may or may not be named Chubbs™.

Joined by Katherine Allan of Well, Actually, the podcast reviews Maggie, the dramatic turn by Arnold Schwarzenegger that mostly features him standing around and brooding.

Erin Michelle joins the podcast this week for Terminator Genisys, a film that doesn't ever give an explanation its portmanteau title, or any of its plot, really. Jai Courtney, Emilia Clarke and Jason Clarke all hide their natural accents and join Arnold Schwarzenegger to portray less iconic versions of characters you've seen in better terminator films. You can check out both Erin and Jemry in Pretty Good Lineup, 6th – 19th of April at the 2020 Melbourne International Comedy Festival, details available here.

Matthew Vasquez joins the podcast this week for David Ayer's Sabotage, an Arnold Schwarzenegger film featuring a surprising lack of sabotage. Maybe they should have gone with a more descriptive title, like Subterfuge, or Underwhelming. In other parts of the podcast, a father, a president and a music teacher walk into a sewer. No, it's not a joke, it's an introduction to our recurring fight to the death segment.

Joined by Jordan Barr, the podcast takes another journey with a team called The Expendables that consider themselves anything but. Can the presence of Wesley Snipes and Kelsey Grammar take this movie to heights hitherto unreached by the previous films? The short answer is no.

Joined by Maddy Weeks, the podcast goes down to the bottom floor of a top secret boat jail in search of someone named Mannheim, but only finds the subject of our very special podcast, Arnold Schwarzenegger. We also watch and discuss Escape Plan, for those playing at home. Elsewhere, in fight to the death news, snowmen fight dragons, demons fight superheroes, and someone bravely sacrifices themselves for no real reason. It's all happening on this boat, folks!

Joined by Angus Gordon, this Arnold Schwarzenegger podcast watches The Last Stand, in which FBI agent Forest Whitaker chases an international drug lord in a race to the Mexican border. If you're confused as to how this premise relates to an Arnold Schwarzenegger/Johnny Knoxville small town action-comedy, join the damn club.

Joined by Josh Webb and Matthew Hespe, it's an even bigger and more coherently edited team up than last week, as the podcast explores The Expendables 2. In this one, Arnold Schwarzenegger becomes self-aware, sees humanity as a threat to his existence, and decides to trigger a deadly nuclear strike. We also find out the answer to the question everyone is asking: What can Abraham Lincoln, two bears and a guy with a bow and arrow do against a bunch of bickering action stars? Also, why is Chuck Norris' musical motif in this movie from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, and not from Walker, Texas Ranger?

It's the team-up of the century this week on Arnold Schwarzenegger Presents, A Nugget Loads Podcast, as Tias Allard joins us to cover The Expendables. It's a film so chock full of action stars it doesn't have any time for things like a credible plot or coherent editing, but hey, they got Arnold for a few minutes, so we're going to cover it. Things also heat up in the life, death and tattoo arena, with a super villain, an evil ex, and some bio-digital jazz, man. Be sure to check out the best Arnold Schwarzenegger focused podcast around, and also this one if you have time. Love you all.

Joined by Dave Hynes, the podcast covers the Terminator film with the least of our favourite Arnold, Terminator Salvation, and somewhat appropriately, stays the least on topic of any of our Arnold Schwarzenegger podcasts. Featuring a monkey thought translator, a man with many clones, and a whole bunch of top quality improvements, this podcast finally answers the question everyone is asking: is Joel Edgerton in the Terminator movies? The answer may surprise you.

Starved for Arnold Schwarzenegger content in the dark governor years of 2003-2011, the podcast takes a glimpse into the fictional life of Tom Arnold analogue Bill Williams in the movie The Kid and I.  Joined by Bella Green and Cat Finch, the podcast explores Twins remakes, ghost characters, and a 9-person battle royale involving Hard Candy's Ellen Page, and, no judgement, Allegra from the movie Hitch.

Tess Bentley joins the podcast this week, as we watch Around the World in 80 Days, and discuss statues of the kaiju Rodan, muppets, and just what Mark Addy will do when he's guaranteed a physician that can replace his nipples. Also, our episodic fight to the death features love/life himself, a vampire hunter, and the voice of Tom Kenny, along with our usual buttery Arnold Schwarzenegger goodness.

After an extended break in respect for the last podcast appearance of Sven, the podcast returns for some more Arnold goodness with Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. It's the first Terminator film to not feature Linda Hamilton, the first not to be directed by James Cameron, and unfortunately, the first one that's just not that good. Joined by Joseph Green, who had not yet seen Terminator 2 due to a miscommunication, Rob and Jemry use the podcast to talk about Sgt Candy, the terminator detecting abilities of dogs, and finally get an answer to the question "could Dory stop Judgement Day?".

Arnold Schwarzengger insists you have fun, Christopher Walken welcomes you the jungle, and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson gives you the rundown. Why can't any of these movie stars mind their own damn business?! Joined by Tom Bown, the best Arnie podcast around covers the Peter Berg classic Welcome to the Jungle (or The Rundown if you're a fan of inferior titles), and debates whether taking Option A or Option B is the winning strategy.

So you want a podcast on Collateral Damage, huh? I'll give you a podcast on Collateral Damage! Arnold Schwarzenegger goes on the hunt for The Wolf, the Colombian terrorist responsible for the death of his wife and child. He also wants to know where his comedy relief sidekick is, since every time one appears they seem to die one scene later. Randy Adeva (Episode 21 - True Lies) returns to the podcast to teach us about Punch Drunk Love, killing Ben Parker, and the dangers of spitting hot fire around severed gas lines. We also briefly discuss a man being force fed a coral snake, because this IS a comedy podcast.

How can there be a The Sixth Day after the End of Days? The podcast explores by not mentioning End of Days at all, and instead discussing this Arnold Schwarzenegger movie on its own terms. Jonathan Stiglec joins Rob and Jemry to discuss the ethical conundrums of cloning Arnold Schwarzenegger, making nacho cheese bananas, and having a threesome with a clone of yourself, on this podcast about The Sixth Day.

It's the End of Days, but not for the podcast, as we cover the famed Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, and the eighty million cuts contained within. The wonderful Chris Ritchie joins Rob and Jemry this week for an extra long episode exploring light speed trains, flammable urine and the demons of the apple dimension.

A freeze is coming, as the best Arnold Schwarzenegger podcast in town chills out with the coolest movie in town, Batman and Robin. I hope you enjoy terrible ice puns, because they're certainly not going to get any better. Matthew Hespe joins Jemry and Rob to talk about Frasier, Coolio and George of the Jungle, plus we get to the surface of those Air Buddies films, and take down all the fat cats in the diamond industry.

There's railguns galore, Perfect Dark-style, as the podcast visits Arnold Schwarzenegger's 1996 classic Eraser. Suspiciously large brooches, high pressure skyscrapers, and some bloodthirsty CGI alligators all make for a fun time, as does Robert Pastorelli as Johnny Casteleone. Also, Sven Watch makes a return. Roland Hoffmann (@RolandoHoffmann) joins Rob and Jemry on the podcast, and creates some literal Shakespearean tragedy, and also probably traumatises a fictional deer. The Arnold Schwarzenegger film Eraser also comes up in discussion.

The podcast celebrates Christmas in July as we revisit Jingle All The Way, the movie where Arnold Schwarzenegger fights a group of Santas trying to sell bootleg children's toys. Of course, this is likely in direct retaliation to Turbo Man taking over the starring role in the Christmas parade, but what can 30 Santas do in the face of consumerism gone mad. Donna Collins joins Rob and Jemry on the podcast, as we discuss the ethical problems with continuing franchises and feeding poisoned 14-year-olds into woodchippers, as well as touching on Jingle All The Way for a moment or two.

The podcast this week visits Junior, the Ivan Reitman film that casts Arnold Schwarzenegger in his most unlikely role yet: a scientist, and dares to ask the question "how can man form prangent"? Tess Bentley joins Rob and Jemry on the podcast, as we watch Junior and learn that a bag of heroin can't raise a baby, giving birth is relatively chill, and lobster claws can be propelled to the strangest of places.

This week on the podcast, we cover True Lies, our last James Cameron film before the release of Avatar IV: The Quest for Peace. With some questionable hiring procedures and horse-elevator etiquette, Arnold Schwarzenegger rides real fast past a guy on a saxophone, and oh boy, is he surprised? Yes. Randy Adeva joins Jemry and a characteristically quiet Rob for some analysis, rankings, and the typical fight to the death scenario between a whole bunch of Jim Carrey characters and a bus. Along the way, they also discuss the Arnold Schwarzenegger film True Lies, and really, who could ask for more?

The president is replaced and donuts are smacked out of hands this week, as the podcast visits Dave, the movie that you didn't even realise had Arnold Schwarzenegger in it. A thirty second cameo for a familiar director means we have another movie to cover, and this one is full of intrigue if you watch it enough times, and notice some conspicuous corgis. Sean Morgan joins Rob and Jemry to watch the Kevin Kline vehicle Dave, and witness the long-con Kevin Kline pulls to help his struggling employment agency. There's also a fight between a newscaster, an athlete, a dinosaur and an aquatic mammal, but the only way to find out who won is to like, share and subscribe, or however podcasts work.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is Arnold Schwarzenegger as Jack Slater as the podcast goes beyond the silver screen and visits Last Action Hero and the films contained therein. Fish go both in and out of water as Danny Madigan from My Girl 2 uses a magic ticket, handed down from the greatest magicians, and also a lousy projectionist, to visit an Arnold Schwarzenegger character and A Talking Cat!?! Ry joins Rob and Jemry on the podcast as we go beyond the fourth wall, and fight a bobsled, a T-Rex and a homicidal Macaulay Culkin in John McTiernan's silliest film, Last Action Hero.

This week on the podcast, there's some time travelling, liquid-metal-body-morphing shenanigans going on, and only our good terminator Arnold Schwarzenegger is fit to deal with the problem. First, however, he has to learn some 90s slang from an American teenager. Cowabunga! Ben Searle joins the podcast to cover Arnold Schwarzenegger classic Terminator 2, fights to the death, and what would be a very strange book club. Will he turn out to be Robert Patrick in a clever ruse to infiltrate our ranks? There is not fate but what we make for ourselves.

The podcast is going back to school, as Schwarzengger re-teams with his old pal Ivan Reitman to bring us Kindergarten Cop. This time, there's jokes along with the premise, and the whole thing goes swimmingly. Well, except for a missing 3 million dollars, a burning school, kidnapped children, witnesses handcuffed to corpses, a liberal application of shotgun rounds... you know what? Maybe it doesn't go so swimmingly after all. Emma Holland joins Rob and Jemry to discuss talking ferrets, propeller caps, and the origins of the chalk font. They also happen to discuss Kindergarten Cop, which is lucky, because that's the whole premise of the podcast.

If it was a Total Recall, why was he there at all? The podcast that tells you the how, the why, and the who of Arnold Schwarzenegger is going to Mars to figure out his missing memories, or maybe they're just being lobotomised. It's all up to interpretation. Joined by comedian Luke Leonard, Rob and Jemry explore Arnold Schwarzenegger's best film (fight me!), and have Cher lose at karaoke (it's a long story). You can catch Luke Leonard's MICF show, Late Night Storytelling at a Reasonable Hour tonight, assuming you're listening on day of release.

Get your passports ready as the podcast covers Red Heat, a film starring Arnold Schwarzenegger as a Russian police officer on assignment in the USA. Paired opposite awful policeman and charisma vacuum Jim Belushi, the two learn that Russia and America aren't so different after all, at least when it comes to police brutality. Laurence Fishburne, Frank Boyle and Gina Gershon all have their time wasted as side characters who don't get much screen time, and there's plenty of gratuitous violence throughout. Joined on the podcast by Martin Dunlop, Rob and Jemry review, rank and revise Red Heat, but hopefully they won't have to fill out any paperwork. You can catch Martin Dunlop's show Small Tales of Little Mercy at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, April 12 - 21 at The Butterfly Club.

What happens when you take the director of Ghostbusters, add Arnold Schwarzenegger, and throw in a handful of comedy writers? Depends on what year. This podcast visits the 1988 result, premise comedy Twins, where Danny Devito is the long lost criminal sibling to Schwarzenegger's naive multi-talented behemoth. Can they reconnect, reunite with their long-lost mother and escape with a stolen prototype engine, or will a giant chain fall on their heads over an extended period of time? Filmmaker Nic Barker joins Rob and Jemry this week for a look at one of Arnold's first leading roles in a comedy, Twins. They analyse, recast, and ponder what Hollywood would do with the premise now, all before hearing about the upcoming Josh Brolin/Peter Dinklage film Brothers.

Stick around, we're putting together a crack team of commandos to record an Arnold Schwarzenegger podcast about Predator. We'll need a scorpion on a knife, a spare arm, a cloaking device and way too many pencils. The hazards include being hunted by an intergalactic alien, who was born and bred for trophy hunting, along with the occasional chance of being skinned alive or having your spine removed. Don't worry though, because the alien has anti-mud vision, and can be undone by a little dirt and water. Rob and Jemry are joined on the podcast by Dave Campbell to discuss Predator, the Arnold Schwarzenegger classic. Join us on an adventure into the jungle and to the chopper, but be sure to hurry, because there's no time to bleed.

It's showtime! The podcast puts on its running shoes, and covers your favourite Richard Bachman aka Stephen King aka Jack Torrance adaptation that also features Arnold Schwarzenegger, The Running Man. The good news is Sven actually plays a character called Sven. The bad news is we don't see enough footage from The Hate Boat. Who loves you, and who(m) do you love? Rob and Jemry are joined on the podcast by Ry of Backyard Boys Gaming to cover The Running Man from start to finish. From Sven Watch to Stalker Showdowns, if a segment starts with S, we may (or may not) cover it! We hope you saved room for this podcast because we're going to ram it into your ear-holes & break your god damn spine!

Remember not to drink and bake, as we go from being the sheriff of a small town to undercover with the mob, as the podcast arrives at the Arnold Schwarzenegger classic, Raw Deal. Magnets, junkyards, and games of chicken with bulldozers dominate as Arnie tears apart the mob piece by piece, and a priest accidentally runs into an open grave. Whoops! On this podcast, Rob and Jemry watch, discuss and rank Raw Deal, and the Arnold Schwarzenegger content contained within. That's the whole premise, you dingus. Try to keep up! We also introduce a new, very important, very exclusive portion of our podcast during our rankings segment, Sven Watch.

Put on your tactical vest, feed your daughter some ice cream, and grab the guns out of your two-digit combination safe, because your favourite Arnold Schwarzenegger podcast is revisiting one of your favourite Schwarzenegger movies, Commando. With a kill count of 81, and more great one-liners than we remember to mention, it's a podcast you could eat for breakfast, and right now you're very hungry. Joined by Josh Webb (@JoshwaWebb), Rob and Jemry let off some steam, and watch/podcast about Commando. Both Josh and Jemry are part of Pretty Good Lineup, Mar 26 - Apr 7 at the 2019 Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

Arnold Schwarzenegger co-stars as Kalidor (aka Not Conan) this week on the podcast, as Dino De Laurentiis carefully makes his way around some copyright shenanigans with Red Sonja. Pull on your Levis, grip your sword loosely, and marvel as Arnie appears at the last minute to save our heroine EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. This movie is a true masterpiece of not being a masterpiece. Joined by Scott of Backyard Boys Gaming, Rob and Jemry take the podcast through the failed Conan the Conqueror attempt that is Red Sonja.

"So, this podcast, it’s from the future, is that right?" "One possible future. From your point of view. Listen, and understand. That Arnold Schwarzenegger podcast is out there. It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you have listened to it." Joined by their first guest, the fantastic Daniel Stiglec, Rob and Jemry watch the movie that put "I'll be back" in the Arnold Schwarzenegger lexicon, The Terminator.

Wilt Chamberlain, Grace Jones, Andre the Giant, and the return of Mako?! Why, this is my kinda movie! Join us for a thrilling romp through the highs of Conan's second adventure, and the fun, active atmosphere that encompasses it. Forget that silly podcast that put down Conan the Barbarian. Now this is a movie! Rob and Jemry watch Conan the Destroyer, and this time, it's enjoyable. Listen along as we discuss this fun, silly movie.

Is it just me, or did you want more of James Earl Jones and the snake transformations? This witch is done, throw her into the fire! Arnold becomes a king in an unrelated and untold story at the end of this film, and you too can become a king*, just like, share, and subscribe, or whatever you do with podcasts. Rob and Jemry watch Conan the Barbarian, and hold a somewhat controversial opinion about it. You, too, can be outraged by their opinions, all you need do is listen to the episode, which we provide here for your listening pleasure. *Offer void if read.

Which famous bodybuilder could our favourite Arnold be playing in this dramatised biopic? Could he be playing Jayne Mansfield herself? No, that would be too good for human consumption. you’ll have to listen to our podcast to find out, or at least look up the cast list on IMDb or Wikipedia. This description’s sure not gonna tell you. Learn some maybe not so true fact about Hollywood in this episode of Arnold Schwarzenegger Presents, as Jemry and Rob sit down and watch The Jayne Mansfield Story.

Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a handsome stranger called Handsome Stranger in this ridiculous comedy from 1979. The twist is that it’s really just a live action Road Runner movie, with Kirk Douglas as Wile E. Coyote. The other twist is that they shouldn’t have hired Paul Lynde. Join Rob and Jemry on their journey through a tunnel painted on a cliff face, and out the other side, as we watch Cactus Jack aka The Villain.

It’s a 90° swerve into a documentary this week, as we look at one of Arnold’s “as himself” credits, and perhaps his most important (after Last Action Hero, naturally). Sure, there’s a bit of Franco Columbu here, or some Lou Ferrigno there, but it’s really Arnold who steals the show, villainous portrayal or not. Do some sick reps, and don’t forget the screams, as you join Rob and Jemry to watch Pumping Iron.

Jeff Bridges and Sally Field co-star in this charm- wait a minute, this is Arnold Schwarzenegger Presents! Former Mr. Universe Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a Mr. Universe hopeful at a gym Jeff Bridges is looking to demolish. That is, until the charming gym members, and the gym’s seedy owner, win Jeff Bridges heart, but not that of his parent’s butler, wiley old Scatman Crothers. It’s a wild ride, but someone’s gotta take it, so jump on board as Rob and Jemry watch Stay Hungry, the movie that won Arnold Schwarzenegger a Golden Globe!

It’s 1970, and we live in a pre-Pumping Iron, pre-Conan, pre-Terminator world. Arnie has so little clout that they rename him to Arnold Strong as an in-joke, and dub over him with another actor. Also, he fights a man in a bear-suit, and loses a weight lifting competition, two things the real Arnold Schwarzenegger would never do. Join us (that’s Rob and Jemry) as we go back to where it all began, and watch what is hopefully the nadir of Arnold’s film career, Hercules in New York.

Rob and Jemry are going through the entire filmography of one Hollywood Actor/Creator from start to end. In the first season we are watching the complete works of Arnold Schwarzenegger.* We review the movies, we review the Arnolds, we address the highlights and the low-lights and we even suggest how we’d do it given the chance. We cannot stress enough that we are not endorsed by the big man himself. *We reserve the right to veto cameo appearances, uncredited appearances, or “as himself”.