Dynamics of Leadership

Becky Wells Gray, Executive Director of must! Charities, joins me to talk about must! Charities’s uniquely strategic involvement with non-profits, and how she applies the tools of Navigating Challenging Dialogue. Becky Wells Gray helped launch must! charities in February 2012. She brings over 16 years of experience in wine industry hospitality and public relations. Becky has been an active volunteer and supporter of various community organizations from serving on local non-profit boards, to coaching youth sports, and volunteering for various local and global causes. You can reach Becky Wells Gray online on her website (https://www.mustcharities.org) . The full conversation and transcript: https://navigatingchallengingdialogue.com/podcast/interview-becky-wells-gray I'd love to hear from you — what did this episode reveal to you with regard to Navigating Challenging Dialogue? How do you apply these tools in your life?

For this last episode of our Leaders in Conversation series. Nikki and I talk about challenging the status quo, releasing expectations placed upon us, and leading your best life.  Catch our full conversation! The episode (and transcript) is available now:  https://navigatingchallengingdialogue.com/podcast/interview-nikki-innocent What Are The Expectations You’re Distrupting? I'd love to hear from you —— tell me what did this episode reveal to you? Did it shift how you will challenge expectations on your journey to leaning into your strengths?

I'm glad to introduce you to Vanessa Couto who joins me for this episode of our Leaders in Conversation series. Vanessa and I talk about tools you can use to navigate business decision making.  Catch our full conversation! The episode (and transcript) is available now: https://navigatingchallengingdialogue.com/podcast/interview-vanessa-couto What Are Your Tools You Rely On For Decision Making? I'd love to hear from you — tell me what did this episode reveal to you? Did it shift how you will make decisions going forward?

If your management role exhausts you due to people who don’t think proactively or won’t take risks, who come to you repeatedly with the same questions or who stall out at the same roadblocks over and over again, then you might want to add coaching to your manager’s toolbox. Semi-annual performance reviews are too few and far between for our fast-paced world. Listen in to learn how coaching will help you increase accountability, skillfulness, and proactive problem-solving within your team.

I'm delighted to introduce you to Nicole Lee in this sixth interview of our Leaders in Conversation series. Nicole and I talk about diversity, equity, inclusion, and cultural competency in the workplace and it’s impact personally and professionally. She is the founder of Inclusive Life™ and co-founder of the Lee Bayard Group LLC and Black Movement-Law Project (BMLP), and is a nationally recognized speaker and strategist. Catch our full conversation! The episode (and transcript) is available now: https://navigatingchallengingdialogue.com/podcast/interview-nicole-lee What Are Your Thoughts On The Impact of Diversity in the Workplace? I'd love to hear from you — tell me what did this episode reveal to you? Did it shift how you want to take action right now? Let us know!

I'm so excited to introduce you to Heidi Harmon. In this fifth interview of our Leaders in Conversation series, Heidi joins me to talk about stepping up and into her power, and how we can all respond to the call to action for the issues most important to us. Now, more than ever, we need voices who can communicate a clear and concise clarion call and Heidi intends to be one of those voices as we join together to facilitate the transformation of the planet. [Transcript] Heidi Harmon is mayor of San Luis Obispo, CA, as well as an activist and speaker. You can reach Heidi Harmon online: LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Pinterest, and on her website.  What Are Your Thoughts On Answering the Call of Transformation? I'd love to hear from you — tell me what did this episode reveal to you? Did it shift how you want to take action right now?

In this fourth interview of our Leaders in Conversation series, Karin Berardo joins me to talk about demystifying finance and building bridges between money and meaning by helping investors make more impact in what they do with their money, and working with world changers who need access to solid execution strategies and finances to make the world a better place for us all. Karin Berardo, founder of Abren, has over 25 years of experience structuring investment vehicles and managing risk for Stumpf Energy, M+W Group, CleanPath Ventures, Municipal Mortgage & Equity and Accenture. She helped to structure over $1 billion in capital for renewable energy, real estate and sustainable infrastructure on 5 continents, and served as the first female CEO for an energy finance company in the Abu Dhabi Global Markets. Karin also led research on sustainable natural resources management and policy in the Brazilian Amazon in a partnership between IMAZON and the Ford Foundation. Karin completed her Bachelor of Arts in Latin American Studies from the University of Chicago, and received a dual Masters in Public Policy with a focus on taxation and public finance from the Harris School of Public Policy, and an International MBA from the Booth School of Business at the University of Chicago. You can reach Karin at Abren.biz and on LinkedIn. Check out our website for more interviews, workshops, and resources.

In this third interview of our Leaders in Conversation series, Lindsay Pera joins Beth Wonson to talk about how the salvation in leadership is going to come from our diversity, and learning to trust our instincts and intuition. The issues we face today, requires the ability to stop and listen with empathy, cultivating conversations to step forward and use our peacemaking skills. Lindsay Pera consults with organizations, non-profits and socially conscious businesses on how to integrate regenerative learning and "new paradigm" business processes. Lindsay is also an entrepreneur whose companies create transformational Apps, services and resources for organizations and business leaders. You can reach her at: https://mysticssociety.com and https://lindsaypera.com. Please listen on the website, or download the episode in your podcast player of choice. P.S. Check out our updated list of live workshops.

This week is a special episode of Dynamics of Leadership, a new interview from our Leaders in Conversation series.  Michele Woodward joins Beth Wonson to talk about the how the shifts in hiring, changes in leadership, and new issues executives face today, requires a change in mindset and leadership strategy if your organization wants to succeed. Michele Woodward is one of America's top executive coaches. She works with leaders and innovators across industries and has been at it for 15 years. She's also a leader within the coaching community - when people say she's a "coach's coach", they mean it. She worked in the White House, in corporate America and is a someone journalists rely on for insightful and useful quotes. She lives in Washington DC and works with people all over the world. You can reach her at http://michelewoodward.com

Todd Simindinger joins Beth Wonson to talk about how he’s using the tools of Navigating Challenging Dialogue® each day, both at home and in his work as principal of Rockport Elementary.  Todd describes how his day is made up of about 90% emotionally challenging dialogues. And due to the pace of school culture, each dialogue is typically constrained to less than 10-minutes.  For Todd, one of the biggest benefits of the Leadership & Communication Skills workshop are the tools he learned to keep tough conversations efficient and focused while supporting his teachers and staff in being seen and heard.  According to Todd, the workshop leveled up his self-awareness and self-leadership, and his ability to manage his own energy — and these are tools that he didn’t find in any professional development training.

Have you created a workaround to accommodate a performance problem with an employee or team member? If you have, you’re costing your organization time and money, and you’ve probably planted the seeds for office drama and morale issues. Workarounds create more problems than they solve, so why do we invent and implement them? Listen in to learn why we create these workarounds, how they affect everyone involved, and how your organization’s or team’s leadership holds the keys to a productive solution.

Anger is a topic that doesn’t get a lot of attention, but it seems to be bubbling up in lots of places. Listen in to learn about how you might be trying to deal with your anger (and what is happening instead), what would happen if the target of your anger went away (hint: your anger doesn’t go with them), and 4 steps for taking care of your anger – and yourself. Be sure to download the free worksheet and delve a little deeper into your self-development!

Is your organization doing well but struggling to find money to invest back in? I’d bet you’ve looked under every rock, cut every expense, and maybe held back on raises, bonuses, and new staff – and yet you still don’t have any Sticky Money. Well, I’ll tell you: It’s in your labor and benefits line item BUT not in the way you may be thinking. Listen in to learn about Sticky Money, the surprising way you’re wasting resources, and how we can help you plug those leaks and capture money to reinvest.

How many management or leadership classes have you participated in? If you are like most of the people I work with, your answer is more than six. And, like them, you may be wondering why managing and leading people still feels burdensome even after time spent in all those trainings. Having worked with so many leaders and managers who want to make their work more easeful and rewarding, I have ideas and insights on lessening your leadership load. Listen in for five tips from my 20 years of learning and experience.

I often hear from people that they have coworkers, friends, and even family members who they no longer feel the same level of connection with because of disagreements, differences of opinion, different worldviews, or conflict. So, today, we’ll explore 10 simple ways to experience a deeper sense of connection and a deeper sense of peace, plus where to start looking for peace, joy, love, abundance, appreciation, and connection. (Hint: it’s one place you’ll always find them!)

Sometimes emotions can run a little high during a team development workshop, with some emotional hotspots getting triggered. Luckily, Beth and her training team develop their skills and experience so they can hold a safe emotional space for just those moments. But anyone can be caught by surprise! Listen in to hear about the time there was something going on that everyone else in the room knew about that Beth didn’t, and she made an assumption that had her completely off base.

If you desire a seat at the leadership table, yet your energy and body language contradict what you see in your role models, it’s time to get your body used to a new carriage and emote a presence they recognize as leadership. This is not a fake-it-until-you-make-it or dress-for-the-part activity; this is a subtle preparation to shift into your authentic leadership presence. Listen in for an experiment to try and stories from some of my leadership coaching clients – and see if you recognize yourself.

I had to fire a few people today, and it wasn’t pretty. I will miss them, but their banishment from the office was for the good of the whole. Their names, you ask? Somebody, Nobody and, occasionally, Anybody. The reasons for their immediate termination were quite clear… Listen in for the 5 reasons I gave that trio the boot, the trouble with the ‘Bodies, and what it means for your organization or team – or even your family – when those three are hanging around.

The Third Door is a magical place on the decision-making spectrum that is between Option A and Option B. It is in between the right choice and the wrong choice, between Yes and No, between any two obvious answers. The Third Door is just a few steps off the beaten path, an entryway to expansive possibility – but it is elusive and not always easily seen by our thinking mind. Listen in for an example of the Third Door in the workplace, how I found my Third Door, and how you might find yours.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve taken off in a direction based on a first fact that is flawed. Sometimes I find out quickly, but sometimes the roadblocks, barriers, and failures aren’t eager to reveal themselves, and so it takes a lot longer. Sometimes, I’ve invested a lot of time and energy before realizing that I was headed in the wrong direction from the start. Listen in for stories with what this looks like, plus three simple tips that will point your efforts in the right direction.

When we clutch and cling to what we treasure, our tightly closed fist prevents us from accepting anything more, and it can also prevent our moving forward with ease and freedom. Listen in for a short, sweet story about a child who learned to open her fist, which, in turn, opened my eyes – and also a list of nine rocks that many of us hold onto.

Research and experience show that the more power we achieve, the less we take a nuanced approach to reading and understanding the people around us. Instead, the more power we have, the quicker we are to stereotype instead of taking time to build relationships. Why? Well, as we now command resources that we once had to build relationships to acquire, the building relationships part isn’t quite as critical. Listen in for four practical steps you can take to avoid or fix this Power Paradox.

Do you ever stop and think, “Hey, what if they find out I don’t know as much as they think I do?” If your answer is Yes, then you’re in good company. Many of us suffer from Impostor Syndrome. It frequently appears as crediting our success to outside factors – things like luck, the mistakes of others, or fate – instead of attributing it to our skills, knowledge, hard work, and tenacity. Listen in for other ways the Impostor Syndrome shows up and simple steps to dissolve your self-doubt.

In Tosha Silver’s book Outrageous Openness: Letting the Divine Take the Lead, she offers this idea: “When you say to the Universe, ‘Oh, this is terrible!’ the Universe responds with, ‘You ain’t seen nothing yet.’ But when you say to the Universe, ‘Oh, this is so wonderful!’ the Universe responds with, ‘You ain’t seen nothing yet!’” I’d been literally walking around with anger and resentment, and this was a light bulb of insight that I needed for my own shift. Listen in to catch the whole story.

I’ve helped a wide range of organizations, companies, and government agencies navigate the challenges inherent in growth and change. So, when I listened to a podcast where Dan Diamond, MD explores what makes people resilient and committed when working for the greater good, I realized what he shares is as applicable to corporations and government agencies as it is to nonprofits. Here are his key points that align perfectly with the advice, coaching, and consultation I provide on navigating big change.

Join Beth Wonson as she enjoys a talk with her mentor and friend, Betsey Nash. After many years in the human resources field and as “authoritative center of the universe on the central coast of California for HR and important human relations issues,” Betsey is on the cusp of retirement. But before she goes, she shares her philosophies of work and leadership while Beth treats her to words of thanks, praise, and congratulations from leaders who have worked with her.

Whether in the workplace or at home, when people remain caught in the swirl of their unspoken stories – stories comprised of fear, angst, “what ifs,” and “they shoulds” – it creates a culture heavy with discord. But when people are trained and skillful in setting those emotional stories aside to speak their truth based on facts, there is a culture of harmony. Listen in for a case study on peeling away the emotions and getting at the facts, plus two simple ways to identify the truth.

The more I engage and do consulting work with organizations, the more I see that the core thing causing us to get into conflicts, waste time, create drama and chaos, and have a strong negative impact on productivity is that people are less and less skillful in the emotional literacy realm. Listen in or read on for a definition of emotional literacy plus a story that showcases low emotional literacy skills and how they can affect an organization’s bottom line.

Have you ever made a new hire – or been a part of the team that made a new hire – and after a few weeks, you begin to get that sinking feeling of “Oh no, we made a mistake…”? If so, you are not alone. Bringing on new talent is one of the most challenging tasks that anyone has to deal with. There are so many complex variables in making a good hire, but only seven ways we make a bad one. Listen in for how to remedy seven bad hire habits, from ambiguous goals to hidden expectations.

A key learning from Navigating Challenging Dialogue® is issues like staff burnout, drama, high turnover, and low morale are symptoms signaling a deeper issue. What’s underneath hopelessness is the basic human desire to feel our efforts are trending toward a positive outcome. Yet, the important work of wrangling with long-term societal problems can feel overwhelmingly negative. Listen in for two different approaches to helping individuals and the collective in your organization find a path to hope…

Recently, I was at a gathering of people who I love being around for their vibrant interaction, and I found myself growing annoyed with a new member of the group who pushed his perspectives at every opportunity. Apparently, others felt the same because, before too long, he was standing by himself. Listen in for how I stepped out of annoyance and into the neutral Observer Mode, what I saw and learned from that position, and how I used curiosity to change the dynamic for him and around him.

I often hear from people that there are friends, coworkers, and even family members who they no longer feel the same level of connection with because of disagreements, differences of opinion, different worldviews, or conflict. So, today, I want to focus on some simple strategies that will help you experience a deeper sense of connection and a deeper sense of peace. So, here we go with 10 strategies for feeling more connected...

My life experience says joy and abundance aren’t in the achievement of perfected bliss but in the awareness that when life’s disappointments, confusion, hard choices, and grief-filled moments appear, I can come back to center. Rather than try to fix, change, avoid, or fight it, I can be like the caterpillar – I can sink in, allow myself to be, take a deep rest, and trust the way will again become clear. Listen in for lessons in caterpillar goop and human soup, along with the warm wisdom of horses.

Stories play a powerful role in our lives, and the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves are the most impactful. Positive stories can help us launch our dreams, achieve our goals, and propel us to the next level, while negative stories can do quite the opposite, and most significantly, create disconnection from others. Listen in for the three types of negative stories, the six reasons we use them, and how to slow or stop the endless cycle for someone who has become stuck in their own story.

I’ve been listening to You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero because it was recommended by people I respect, although the title feels a bit slimy to me. Well, her audiobook is fast-paced and funny with a smart, dry wit. While listening to Jen talk about how our words, energy, and beliefs inform what’s possible for us, I began seeing connections – both to myself and to many of the blocks my clients face. Listen in for more from the book, plus 8 lessons on badassery that I’m putting into practice.  

When you ask your staff why they missed a deadline or dropped a project, you may hear, “I didn’t get it done because I’m overwhelmed. There isn’t enough time in the day for all that’s on my plate.” And now they’re off the hook, and you’re on it, even if that wasn’t their intention. Because how can you effectively respond to that? It’s not like you can manufacture more time for them. Well, listen in for a question you can ask that will point the way to getting more done with however much time they have.

Ten years ago, whenever I felt certain that something had to change, I was quite certain it was someone else who needed to change and not me. This was true in my friendships, my work relationships, and how I viewed the world. I held the expectation that everyone would be better off if they were more like me. But now, through a lot of self-work and with more self-awareness, I know that whatever emotional energy comes up in me is simply there for me to continue to learn about myself. Listen in for more…

When we encounter a challenge, problem, or puzzle, throwing heaps of resources at it can seem like the best or only solution. But before you invest a lot of time, money, and effort, get a bigger flashlight and take another look at the problem. A better solution may be smaller, easier, or closer than you thought. Listen in for 4 questions you can count on to gain a new view, plus a simple question that allowed my client to give her business what it most needed while getting what she most wanted.

We put so much effort and attention into counting dollars, tracking expenses, investing in the newest technology, and charting our strategic pathway to the future – and those are all valuable activities. But it is the rare leader who connects a dollar value to every minute spent in putting off direct feedback and clearing up petty conflicts, confused communication, and ongoing office drama. Listen in for more on where time (and therefore money) gets wasted and what you can do about it.

Gossip is as addictive as sugar. It can also be damaging and slowly wear and tear at the vital framework that keeps a group or a team cohesive, a family solidified, and an organization moving towards its goals. Breaking the gossip habit is a powerful way you can positively impact your own happiness, even when you're feeling powerless. Here's how...

Many years ago, the National Indian Youth Leadership Project’s Mac Hall taught me an incredible lesson about bringing programs into the world. He said, “We only go where we are invited,” meaning we could provide information, but we wait to be asked. We didn’t assume we knew what was best for a community. Instead, we trusted that, when the time was right, their invitation would come. Listen in for more about my time on the Acoma Pueblo and working with Mac, and also my invitation for you.

We went camping a few weekends ago, and I’m pretty good at building campfires, but it’s close to impossible to build a good fire with bad wood. Fortunately, our sad, smoky little fire was rescued by two pairs of gentlemen on two separate occasions. With their tattoos and camos, they appeared to be the opposite of us. But it turned out we had at least one thing in common, and answering the question it raised connected all of us, despite all. Listen in to hear how our paths crossed and what I found there.

When we clutch and cling to what we treasure, our tightly closed fist prevents us from accepting anything more, and it can also prevent our moving forward with ease and freedom. Listen in for a short, sweet story about a child who learned to open her fist, which, in turn, opened my eyes – and also a list of nine rocks that many of us hold onto.

Do you easily make commitments to behavioral changes, but you struggle with following through? The keys to fulfilling your commitments despite external and internal challenges are found in the ancient story of Ulysses and the Sirens’ deadly song. He had himself tied to the mast of his ship and his crew’s ears plugged so they wouldn’t be tempted to their doom, but you can simply think about when and how you’ll need support, and then ask for it. Listen in for more about this commonly missing piece.

Ready-made seminars can be helpful, but there are times when a canned approach to leadership won’t get you where you want to go. It’s most effective to tweak the best practices to suit your work style instead of the other way around. Listen in for my story about Results-driven Ron, who struggles to sit through meetings that continue in discussion long after he’s ready to take action. The steps he learned in an active listening seminar felt false and frustrating, but our customized strategy is a far better fit.

Not every dissatisfied employee can easily walk away from their job. Government employees especially can find themselves with accumulated benefits such that it’s in their best interest to stay. But even in the private sector, you can leave behind a challenging employer, coworker, or supervisor, but unless you see how you contributed to the challenges, you’ll likely find the same situations at your next job. Listen in for 3 questions to ask yourself when the going gets so tough that you’re thinking of going.

Are you using your brain power as effectively and efficiently as possible? To do your best work, it’s important to create an environment that suits and satisfies your brain, as well as a schedule for tackling tough tasks when your brain is at its best. Listen in for tips on tidying up, sorting out, making way, and letting go so your brain has space – and energy – to do the most amazing things.

Are you ready to take your career or business to the next level but you haven’t made the leap because you’re weighed down by self-doubt? Do you feel like you can’t move forward on your goals despite the support of others and a toolbox full of skills? If so, I have a few questions for you and some simple steps that can get you moving, but first, listen to Roseanne’s story and notice what sounds familiar.

The most important leadership skills may be things you’re not thinking about or aware of, and yet these abilities are critical for being effective in today’s world of work, whether you’re in a leadership position or hoping to emerge into one, and especially if you’re a leader who is encountering challenges, feeling frustration, or just looking to grow and evolve. Listen in for six new leadership skills for the new world, and use the free worksheet to guide you toward adopting these new competencies.

Our ego wants to protect us from being wrong, and in our effort to be right, we may close our mind to other perspectives, supporting our isolated view even when we would benefit from seeing what things look like from someone else’s perspective. Listen in for two stories on perspective-taking – one imaginary and one true – that demonstrate how listening better and more often can help your organization move forward and get more done.

  If you listened to last week's podcast, then this will sound familiar! Yes, it’s a repeat, and for a good reason. On the blog, this story is featured in two parts. Last week, the focus was on the staff, gossip, and embellishing facts. Today, attention is on the management team and making assumptions. So listen in again and, this time, notice the assumptions Haley, Ronald, and Rosalie make, and also the decisions they make and actions they take based on those misconceptions – which might seem familiar, too.