Hands Off Parents

Probably best if you hear for yourselves. We love you, Steph and Abby

This week Steph and Abby are thrilled to welcome guru and founder of MommaStrong, Courtney Wyckoff. Courtney single-handedly developed MommaStrong as a result of being completely lost in postpartum haze and severe depression following the birth of her second child (sounds about right!). What came out of her own personal need is something that has resonated with thousands of other mommas, new mommas, and soon-to-be-mommas: a strength-training, community-oriented, wellness-focused, and all-out amazing fitness program! Her story is legit inspiring and she also curses. We love her. Pssst: Dads! She also has a PapaStrong program, so have no fear. You are loved and valued, too.

This week Steph and Abby are thrilled to welcome sleep guru, Nikou McCarra. Because Stephanie has seen so much improvement in her own baby’s sleep schedule, the ladies wanted to share some helpful tips to get your child sleeping through the night, too. Check out Nikou’s website for more information: https://www.thebabysleepacademy.com/

This week, Steph and Abby reminisce over the 2018 Hands Off season. Which episodes had the most listens, which episodes were most enjoyable, and remember that whole summer Steph was gone? What was that all about? (Lazy.) They also go off on several tangents about the holidays and probably television and/or the Internet WHICH THEY NEVER DO. Happy New Year, love Steph and Abby! Thanks for sticking with us in 2019.

This week Steph and Abby answer your parenting questions posted to the Hands Off Facebook page, and they answer them very poorly with little to know supporting evidence. What to do with kids who won’t play alone? How do you handle other parents that you hate? How do you handle other kids that you hate? And probably the Instant Pot comes up at least twice. Tune in and then post your questions!

With the holiday season officially in full swing, Steph and Abby discuss some of their holiday stressors, buying the right gift, being the most merry, and over-spending/worrying/justifying/thenmorespending. They decide that their own best approach is to identify the things that get them worried, and do their best to avoid those things. Much easier said than done, but when all else fails, eat chocolate! What are you worried about this holiday season?

This week, the ladies are thrilled to welcome back Rabbi Josh Fixler to the show! After a particularly tough few weeks living on this planet and parenting small children, Steph and Abby are in need of some serious hope, and Josh has some serious words of wisdom. Of course there are lots of laughs too and Steph really does her best to earn that EXPLICIT rating.

112: Is Something Wrong With My Kid? This week, Abby and Steph discuss what to do when you are worried that there is something wrong with your kid, behaviorally. Abby has had some concerns and Steph talks her off the ledge (What? Stephanie is the positive one here?) They decide that the best thing you can do for your kids is to be informed.

This week Steph and Abby are Thrilled (with a capital T) to welcome Marlon Hall to the show. Marlon is a renaissance man with a zillion jobs and talents: anthropologist, yoga teacher, lecturer, director of an arts nonprofit, AND he is a father. He also happens to have an amazing outlook on life and a tuned-in approach to parenting and being mindful. The ladies have been in a bad place of late, and they welcome his refreshing approach to seeing the world and parenting for what it is: a really crappy, hard, upsetting place but with so many silver-linings. Be ready to want to make Marlon your new BFF. And then go rate and review us on iTunes.

This week Steph and Abby discuss a recent Atlantic essay about throwing away your child’s art work. There’s just too much of it! But the question always remains: What to keep and what to toss? And are we keeping certain things in an attempt to hold onto the ephemeral nature of childhood or do we really want to preserve yet another picture of a stick figure with over-sized ears? What does it all mean on a deeper level? Is it really about a fear of our own mortality??? OH YES THEY DIVE DEEP TODAY, FRIENDS! They also talk about what we trash and treasure in our own lives. How do we as parents make room for what really matters? Let us know what you trash and treasure in the comments. And then go over to iTunes and write us a glowing review so we can treasure you. We also have a new Facebook group for "hands off parents." Find us and join today!

This week, Abby breaks down a bit in her frustrations with disciplining her kids. What should you do to channel all of that kid rage? Why do you feel like you're being held hostage in your own home? How do you get kids to listen when you don’t even know how to talk to them? If only there was a book! Steph reminds her that there is and Abby should listen to this podcast named Hands Off Parents. So should you!

Are your kids back to school yet? Did you breathe a sigh of relief or is the back to school craziness making you...er... crazy? This week, Steph and Abby are joined by mother of 25 and all around amazing parent, Annie Stein. The three women share their first week of school successes and failures, among other back to school topics (make lunch the night before or...?) Share your own back to school stories on their Facebook page.

In honor of the fact that it's the first day of school here in Houston, and Steph and Abby are having all kinds of trouble getting their s**t together, we present a rebroadcast of an episode from TWO years ago! It's the Hands Off Parents Back to School Throwback episode! On this episode, Steph and Abby are joined by a very special guest: elementary school teacher and parent of two, Brooke Smith! Brooke shares with the ladies all of the darkest secrets from the depths of the teachers' lounge: What makes parents really, really annoying? How can we form better relationships with teachers? And seriously, how much are the teachers talking smack when we forget things like book covers and dressing our kids in matching socks? Brooke gives the ladies some very practical and hilarious insights on life as a teacher and parent, including what we can all do to make the back to school transition as neat as the hair on our kids' heads that we didn't comb at all. Back with a brand new episode next week! xoxo

This week Steph and Abby chat about a New York Times piece that's been making the rounds about parenting in a time of fear. This kicks off a lively and scattered conversation about leaving your kids in the car, shaming moms into thinking that they are not good enough and feeling bad about yourself in general. And organizational systems or the lack thereof. Oh, you forgot that Steph and Abby meander in their conversations? Well, welcome back! Meander at them on their Facebook page!

This week Steph and Abby welcome Tish Ochoa, mom, business owner and PTO officer. With Abby entering "real school" she has many questions about the PTO, starting with, "So... what's the PTA then?" Tish shares some horror stories but also some of the reasons she feels it's worth being an active school parent. Are you in the PTO? PTA? Do you know the difference? Share in the comments!

The summer of mat... JK! Stephanie returns!! Huzzah! Yay! Stephanie returns!! Abby and Steph discuss all the things you might not want to hear: maternity, quitting dairy as a nursing mother, postpartum blood, "wait, you also have a toddler?!" and Ugh you are still wetting the bed? It's a classic Hands Off episode if you ever knew one!

This week Abby welcomes back Maryocéane Guy, a now regular guest on the show. Both women are facing a crisis: Their kids are starting real school in the fall and it's frightening. But more than that, Mary has realized that she needs to let go of some things to make this transition smooth for her daughter but also herself. Boundaries are tough! You know what else is tough, audio recording- Forgive Abby for the low volume. Turn your headphones up.

This week Abby and Dennis (yep!) welcome Roxanne Werner, a mother and foster parent, whose story is not uncommon. Roxanne and her family welcomed a 4-day old baby into their home and ... we're not going to spoil it. You gotta listen.

The summer of maternity rolls on! This week, Abby welcomes back the lovely Annie Stein. Annie is an old-pro at how to deal with a crew of kids over the summer, and she shares her tips. As helpful as this, Abby has way more questions for Annie that deal with control—of your kids, your life, your friendships? The ladies decide that summer is tough with kids, and, oh yeah, life with kids in general. What are you doing this summer?! Maybe writing a review on iTunes? That sounds awesome.

The summer of maternity continues! This week Abby welcomes back Dennis Draper, a foster parent to a troubled teen. Dennis shares his touching story about the challenges to raising a teen, a foster, and a child that has mental health issues. These are all tough topics but so important to discuss. Mental Health issues are no joke. If you have any that you would like to share, post to the @handsoffparents Facebook page.

The "Summer of Maternity" continues on Hands Off Parents, and Abby is thrilled to welcome back previous guest, and hilarious person, Stacey Daniels. Stacey is a loving aunt and takes the job very seriously. Coincidentally, she and Abby are both going through some aunt challenges, and they discuss the extreme love you can feel for your siblings' kids. Also, Stacey definitely tells Abby about what makes a cute kid and what doesn't. Is your kid cute? Of course they are! All kids are cute. Post pics of your cute kids on the Hands Off Facebook page @handsoffparents.

Holy Crap We're Back... but not officially because Steph is being lazy "breastfeeding" and "not sleeping" and "raising a baby" (Whatev!). So, Abby is spending this summer of maternity leave having co-hosts and special guests. This week, she welcomes back the amazing Nancy Wozny, mom of two babies who are both pushing 30. Abby has been very freaked out after binge watching the teen drama "13 Reasons Why" and asks Nancy how you raise teens who talk and don't hate you. Nancy is a pro on both fronts and offers some solid advice on when to hover and when to leave well enough alone. Stay tuned for a Summer of Hands Off Guests, and if you want to be one, shoot us an email at handsoffparents@gmail.com.

This week Steph and Abby are thrilled to welcome Rabbi Joshua Fixler, who just happens to be a new dad AND an amazing human being. Don't worry! This is not a religious conversation, but rather one about how a rabbi dad does it all (HINT: His wife is amazing). But then, yeah, they spiral into the meaning of life and explore how to MAKE meaning in your own family. At the end of the day, it seems like marking the good moments in your life and simply being grateful for them is what makes for good parenting - and just good human-ing. ALSO: OMG! Steph is having a baby this week! Hands Off Parents will be back after a brief maternity leave (Abby is just being lazy). Stay tuned for pics of the new baby!

This week, the ladies are lucky to have Jill Jarvis on the show. Jill is a mom of four and runs the very popular blog BigKidSmallCity.com, which is every parent in Houston's go-to list for fun family activities. Jill was working as an engineer and one day realized something needed to change. She also wanted to get out more with her kids, so she began her blog. Several years later, she's loving what she does...AND getting paid to do it! She gives the ladies some of her fun summer tips, too. Tell us what you are excited to do this summer in the comments.

This week Steph and Abby welcome author and mother of two teens (12 is teen-ish), Katherine Center! Katherine's sixth novel, How to Walk Away, will be released on May 15th but she's already hard at work on her 8th book right now. Yes, she is human. Maybe. Katherine imparts some wisdom to the ladies on how to juggle it all and have fun at the same time. Raising young adults is much different than dealing with toddler tantrums and Katherine assures the ladies that their goals of raising nice people is a good approach. Finally, some validation! Speaking of, write us a review!

This week Abby shares some highlights from a recent road trip that her family took to Marfa, Texas. Sixteen total hours in the car with two kiddos, and she lives to tell the tale! Steph spent the weekend stuck in the house, making space for her new baby. Together, the ladies figure out that parents regularly need to take AND make space to keep our sanity. How do you make and take space? Let us know in the comments!

Steph had a rough week: kid challenges, pregnancy challenges, and she needs to put a bunch of Ikea furniture together before she has this baby! She found herself traveling down an all too familiar Google rabbit hole of worry and anxiety. Abby remembers the pregnancy Googling well and wonders if this is just a byproduct of being pregnant in this day and age. People say, "don't Google your symptoms," but perhaps it's more empowering to be in the know then in the dark? Did you Google everything about your new baby or no? They also ramble on about a variety of other topics including screen time, four year old independence, and West Side Story. Apologies in advance for the children in the background. Comment below! Write a review! Share with your friends!

With the conclusion of two major holidays, Steph and Abby get into a discussion of how religion plays a role in parenting. Steph grew up with one religion, but Abby grew up with none really--just a lot of holidays that overlapped and contradicted. How do you raise your own kids when you are unsure of where you stand? What do parents coming from multiple religious backgrounds do? How do you instill religious traditions without the religion part? Lots of questions! Give the ladies some answers on their Facebook page,

This week, Steph and Abby address a listener's request to chat about what to do with (little) mean girls. To help them, they have brought back the lovely Maryocéane Guy, an educator and mom of four-year old Margo. Mary tells the ladies about how she wants to handle mean girls as a mom, but what to actually do from an educated (READ: rational) perspective. This leads the women to talk more about bullies and how to address negative labeling in general. Overall, the three decide the best moves as parents is to talk, talk, talk! Talk to Steph and Abby in the iTunes reviews! But don't be mean, please. Especially about the technical difficulties today. The pregnant woman should never be the one in charge of the sound board.

They're back, and boy are they back with a doozy! This week Steph and Abby talk with Bev Caplan about the most difficult decision she ever had to make: terminating her pregnancy. Once Bev found out that her baby had a chromosomal abnormality that would ultimately end the baby's life within the first year, or even the first hours, she made the toughest choice of her life. It's one of those stories that will take your breath away but needs to be shared. Share your own stories on the Hands Off Parents Facebook page @handsoffparents!

This week Steph and Abby are thrilled to welcome mom, business owner, amazing person, and good smeller, Aimee Woodall to the show. Aimee owns and runs a highly successful cause-driven branding and strategy agency (Black Sheep Agency) that has serviced the likes of the Obamas! (Yes, the real ones). Aimee is also a mom of a 16-month old, a wife, and a human being with a lot going on. She imparts some sage advice that she got from Michelle (yeah, Obama) on managing your time as a whole and making time for yourself, which Aimee now lives by. Send yourself an iCal reminder to listen to her eye-opening advice!

This week, Steph and Abby welcome parent, advocate, and activist, Sarah Becker. A former school psychologist, Sarah and her husband founded HISD Parent Advocates, a local organization that keeps parents in the loop on issues related to our school district, board, and policies that directly affect our kids. Sarah discusses many of the recent (and dare we say, controversial) proposals to reorganize Houston's public school system. She also describes the choice her own family made to move their children out of a highly coveted, disproportionately white (relative to HISD as a whole) magnet school and into an under-enrolled school with a primarily brown and black student population in a neighborhood with lots of poverty. For those not in Houston, the conversation is equally important as they discuss larger implications of living in a diverse country, where racial lines are still drawn when it comes to our schools. Sarah educates the ladies on the works of Nikole Hannah-Jones and the movement to integrate America's schools. It's both an important and eye-opening conversation. Join us!

This week, Steph and Abby dive further in the topic of getting kids to listen. They delve into the (often frustrating) world of kid emotions...and tantrums and meltdowns and whining and crying and screaming and irrational behavior and how you deal with it. (Wine.) Steph has been reading a book on the subject and shares this with Abby and their listeners. The idea is to have several approaches in your parenting toolbox, some more direct than others, but in the hopes that one of them will get your kids to do what you want them to. Do they work? Probably not, but definitely worth a try. Tell them how you get your kids to listen in the comments!

This week Steph and Abby discuss anxiety, what it is, how it manifests, and all the ways parents pass it down to their children. Is it inevitable that our kids will get all the crazies that we have? Or is it possible to be mindful of the anxieties we are fostering in our children? Or maybe they are just being anxious over anxieties? Share your own anxieties on their Facebook page!

Despite their better judgement, Steph and Abby decided to weigh in on the Aziz Ansari media storm. (Cue thunder) The ladies discuss why this particular case resonated so much with so many different voices and how they might think about this from a parenting perspective. It's a challenging conversation but an important one to have, they decide. And they also decide they are old, like "get off our lawns" old. Tell them how you might use this event in your parenting.

Before the new year, Steph and Abby vowed to have a more cohesive approach to the podcast and they immediately broke this resolution. Instead of cohesion, they discuss lice. Yup, lice. These pesky buggers will outlive us all! To address their lack of resolutions, they cover CNN's 2018 Parenting Resolution list, which is just completely ridiculous. Mock it along with them. Did you make any resolutions? Parenting or otherwise? Share in the comments!

This week the ladies discuss a recently published parenting book that advocates that parents act like gardeners -- plant the seeds and then let your kids grow! It is about creating the right environment and letting kids be themselves, as opposed to trying to build your kids into what you want them to be (like a carpenter). The ladies wonder if they think they are gardeners but really they are more like the carpenters. Is any parent a true gardener? They also discuss two other books they've been reading, Steph's is about how to talk to difficult children; Abby's is about the robots taking over the world! Naturally, they are both doomed.

Oh it's the obligatory holiday episode, where Steph and Abby discuss how many teachers they need to buy presents for, what their kids want and what they won't get for them, and the Alabama election results! Also Steph shares some BIG news. It's the most wonderful time of the year. Spread the joy and write them a review on iTunes.

This week Steph and Abby are honored to welcome Lisa Stanton, mother to a transgender daughter named Maya. Lisa's story is heartwarming and heartbreaking, as she details the struggles that Maya had with being born a boy. Lisa and her husband realized that Maya knew who she was better than anyone else, and that they would support her in becoming the person she wanted to be. Get your tissues out because this episode will definitely make you cry (Steph and Abby were hysterical half the conversation).

This week Steph and Abby describe all the things they are thankful for: Their fear of impending doom, death, the break down of social civility... wait, that doesn't make sense. They are thankful for all their listeners and pie. Lots of pie. They wish you and yours a very Happy Thanksgiving; let your kids eat all the junk food, watch all the TV and be thankful that distractions exist!

This week, Steph and Abby welcome the lovely Monica Danna to the show to discuss how she does it all (be a mom, a wife, juggle many jobs, community organizer, showering), and they are pleased to find out that she doesn't! Monica shares her absolutes and the things that she's dropped to the waste side (like laundry). It's refreshing to say the least. Drop the ladies some reviews on iTunes!

This week Steph and Abby try very hard to discuss a podcast sent to them by a listener, in which a couple raise their daughter without conforming to gender norms. It's a great story which makes the ladies consider how far they go in support of their own principles. As much as this topic demands discussion, it become very difficult because Steph's daughter is with them and she also demands a lot. She adheres to her own set of principles, which prohibits cohesive conversation.

After a in-depth discussion last week about the mental load of moms, Steph and Abby are thrilled to have Aaron Reese (back!), super-dad of twins, who emailed the ladies about his own take on the mental load. Aaron shares his load and how he and his wife have (attempted) to share the burden. According to Aaron, it kinda works-ish. Email handsoffparents@gmail.com to share your load!

This week Steph and Abby discuss a topic that's been making its way around the internet: The Mental Load of parents (mom specifically). The mental load is that never-ending to-do list that runs through your brain daily that no one really knows about but you. Is it draining the life out of you or what!? And how about the mental load of fathers? What's that list look like? Share your absurd mental load list with them by liking them on Facebook, and then you can cross that off your list of things to do today.

This week Abby shares a story of her current experiences with the public school system. Her neighborhood school has some growing pains, and the activist in her wants to support by enrolling her kids but is also worried about being a guinea pig. Steph offers some sage advice, as always, filled with sarcasm. Then they share some good things that have happened with their kids lately and they struggle to think of any! How does your school system work? Share in the comments.

Because of a recent email the ladies received about having a second child. Steph and Abby are stoked to welcome back a friend and previous guest, Nyala Wright Nolen. Nyala has a three-year-old and an 8-month old baby. The three ladies discuss "how that's all going," as it may seem like a nightmare to some. Nyala has some great tips about dealing with a toddler and a baby and some things she didn't anticipate (the three year old wants to sit in the baby's car seat!). It's a fun conversation and might just help you decide if you should have another one... you know if you were debating that or something.

This week, Steph and Abby discuss a recent article arguing that we should not call our daughters pretty. Instead, they should be smart and brave and hardworking. The ladies wonder, well, can girls be all of those things and be told they are pretty too? This leads them down a path of their own childhoods and what those labels may have done or not done for them. Do you call your daughters pretty and your sons handsome? Email them about it at handsoffparents@gmail.com. And please share if the spirit moves you!

This week Steph and Abby welcome Jay and Joe Bostick, an amazing couple, who share their stories of fostering, adopting, and parenting children who don't look like they do. Their stories are heroic, to say the least, but also funny and heartbreaking. They squash some of the misconceptions about the foster-care system, too. Steph and Abby ultimately wish these guys would adopt them. Or maybe you will? Or just rate them on iTunes.

This week Steph and Abby welcome the incomparable Dennis Draper, an amazing person and father of adopted teenage son, Blue. Dennis shares his story, a sad and heartwarming one, of how he came to adopt his cousin's son, a young man in and out of foster homes for most of his life. It has been a struggle but so worth it. Dennis is a plethora of heart and knowledge about being a single gay man who is learning how to thrive in his new role.

Steph and Abby, currently in the middle of the nightmare that is Hurricane Harvey, wanted to discuss just that via Skype. The city of Houston is in crisis mode, and while they have fared pretty well, their hearts hurt for other parents who are in unimaginable situations. How do you do this with kids? How do you sit on your roof in the rain with small children waiting for a rescue boat? They are having a tough enough time dealing with toddlers trapped in-doors! Their love goes out to all those dealing with this catastrophe! Please give a shout and let them know how you are all fairing.

This week Steph and Abby discuss an article published in the @lenny blog about infertility. True, they've discussed this before, but this article was different: It doesn't end with a baby. Certainly, not getting what you want is a topic they've gone over but finding your own happy ending is personal. How do others do it? The ladies cover this among (yup) other ramblings ("what is the name of that show about your mother?") and have some laughs at the same time.