Keys Bartender

Follow Keys Bartender
Share on
Copy link to clipboard

A comedy podcast from the lower right corner corner of the U.S., the Florida Keys, and things do get weird down here. Targeting .3 % of the listening public that enjoy our variety of humor and also have the ability to not be offended by Bar Language. Jim struggles to stay on topic with the help of h…

Keys Bartender


    • Dec 31, 2022 LATEST EPISODE
    • infrequent NEW EPISODES
    • 41m AVG DURATION
    • 772 EPISODES


    Search for episodes from Keys Bartender with a specific topic:

    Latest episodes from Keys Bartender

    Episode 682 Predictions for 2023

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 31, 2022 24:26


    We close 2022 with predictions for 2023 and Jim will not be seeking the nomination for President. He is more likely to get a gender reassignment surgery. Why was Nostradamus so vague with his 600-year-old forecast? --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 681 Pain, Not Sham but Cham

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 30, 2022 23:40


    Drinking isn't the only thing to do when it's rainy and cold in the Keys but it certainly is the most indulged. We wrap the drinks of Christmas because 10 drinks are enough. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 680 Candy Cane Martini

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 23, 2022 25:50


    The technological revolution has helped Keys Folk with gift purchasing. the internet can't help you with the best gift, the gift of yourself. The 9th drink of Xmas is the candy cane martini . --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 679 Lame Special Announcement

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 23, 2022 19:06


    A special announcement is made by a regular. It did not live up to expectations of the crowd. Its the 7 drink of Christmas. Jim reviews Company Christmas Party strategy. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 678 Retraction

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 19, 2022 20:31


    Jim issues a retraction for his comments on Eggnog after his father takes issue and gives his father's recipe. Another visitor from Poland gets a whirl-wind tour of the Upper Keys. Helpful hints on where you need to be to meet someone special, and it's not a on small bus. The 6th Drink of Christmas is the Hot Cran Apple Cider. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 677 Hot Chocolate

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 12, 2022 24:24


    Awkward editing does not deter Jim. Hot Chocolate is the 5th drink of Christmas it works for both non-drinkers and drinkers. Tipping remains a lion's share of the income stream for many people.  --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 676 Don't Shoot the Glass

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 11, 2022 21:58


    Jim gives Company Xmas (Holiday) Etiquette tips using the movie Die Hard to illustrate the points. Spiced/Mulled wine is the 4th drink of Christmas recipe provided. Jim and some co-workers try to be anonymous during a DUI stop. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 675 Lost in Place

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 4, 2022 21:46


    Today we continue with the 3rd of the 12 Drinks of Christmas, Eggnog. When a patron has words with another Jim has to interject himself. Two women walk into the Bar and comedy ensues. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 674 Confidentiality

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 27, 2022 26:55


    Released simultaneously with my first YouTube Video which you can find by searching for Keys Bartender. Xmas Trees are getting scarce in the Upper Keys. Confidentiality is an implicit agreement between patron and Bartender. We wrap with the Espresso Martini as our 2nd drink for the 12 Drinks of Christmas. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 673 Roman Food Orgy

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 25, 2022 28:34


    We start a segment called the 12 drinks of Christmas with a drink you can make for the festivities. We describe a Roman Food Orgy prior to Jim's Post-Thanksgiving wrap-up. Our host shares his methodology he used to prepare to feast, and it backfires on him. It is estimated that over 53 million Americans are food insecure, every episode till New Year's will be dedicated to those people. Here are 2 organizations you can help or donate. www.feedingamerica.org give.salvationarmyusa.org --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 672 Lost Shaker of Salt

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 21, 2022 27:09


    The Margarita is one of the most iconic cocktails with numerous origin claims. We go through some of the history and components. We give some tips for making sure you make your flight or cruise on time. We close with Jim's multi-layered take on the Margarita. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 671 Stop One Drink at a Time Ordering!!

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 17, 2022 29:26


    While the rest of the U.S. shivers we are all toasty in the Keys. We discuss ordering etiquette for patrons and restaurant servers. It being the approach of the Holiday season Jim asks for a modicum of consideration for the people in the Service Industry. How does New Years Eve sometimes have a chilling affect on business. Finally we wrap for tips on handling large drink orders. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 670 Shaken not Stirred

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 13, 2022 26:54


    When is a drink shaken or stirred? James Bond's direction is an outlier for the properly prepared a martini and that is o.k. Recognition, certificates, and awards are nice but they are not necessarily an indicator of greatness. Jim gives his recipe for a martini and it is simple. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 669 An Old Fashioned

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 8, 2022 32:04


    Tropical Storm Nicole heads towards Florida. Though the title may sound like an option at a massage parlor, it is an iconic cocktail. Like many a cocktail bartenders can't agree on a preparation. We'll try to simplify it. Jim gives his take on the cocktail. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 668 With or Without- Lime

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 4, 2022 42:25


    Jim sees his first Library Book vending machine on his way to vote. We spend time talking about arguably the most important of garnish/ingredient, the lime. Sometimes it is an after thought of a garnish and other times it is critical to the cocktail. Finally while watching a sitcom on Apple TV in English and Spanish, Jim wonders why so many people are reluctant to be exposed to other languages let only the learning of said languages. Thanks to our show Sponsor- Key Largo Chocolates; www.keylargochocolates.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 667 Trigger me Timbers

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 2, 2022 33:15


    Bloody Mary's come in all colors or should we say shades of red. There are several critical components of a good Bloody Mary but there are an unlimited variations. Triggers are anything that spark an emotional response. Jim explains why it is important to avoid as much as possible those actions or topics that could make the atmosphere uncomfortable at a Bar. Our sponsor Key Largo Chocolates, www.keylargochocolates.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 666

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 28, 2022 37:06


    We finally get to episode 666 and realize it is just a number. We go over how Jim prepares himself to work when ill. What is the difference between fear and anxiety? Both emotions are huge components in our daily lives and both don't need to be viewed as negative. Thanks to our sponsor Key Largo Chocolates --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 665-11 Living Big in an Infinite Universe

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 27, 2022 32:13


    Jim works the Bar's biggest event of the year while under the weather. A Florida Man dies and there is no irony for a change. Finally if we exist in an infinite universe what is the significance if any in our achievements. Thanks to our Sponsor Key Largo Chocolates; www.keylargochocolates.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 665-10 The Well Dressed Witch

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 20, 2022 38:33


    Which is the appropriate costume for a Witch? It's a matter of taste. Jim's place of work is getting ready to host an annual fund-raiser the Key Largo Witches' Ride. We talk about best practices when tending bar at busy events. We wrap with the idea that late starts in life are possible. Our sponsor Key Largo Chocolates; www.keylargochocolates.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 665-9 Hillbilly Ocean's 4

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 18, 2022 34:01


    A horrible thing happened near Tulsa, OK. Due to the nature of the crime this is not for everyone but it is right in Jim's wheelhouse. Which is to say this stuff is precisely the news story that he loves to speculate on. Jim outlines what we know now and then we wait for the Series, Movies, Documentaries, and Podcasts to drop. Jessica Chastain is involved but not that one. Thank you to our sponsor Key Largo Chocolates: www.keylargochocolates.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 665-8 Criticize This!

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 17, 2022 30:15


    Tips on how to make a Classic Margarita and some variations. Jim claims he does not care about an arbitrary contest but his behavior belies his feelings about being the Best Bartender.  A critique of a past episode reveals a change in how Jim processes criticism. Thanks to our sponsor Key Largo Chocolates; www.keylargochocolates.com   --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    tips criticize best bartender
    665-7 Keep it Fresh Player!

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 14, 2022 31:27


    Jim opens with tips to keep your bar mixers, garnishes, and wines fresh. Besides Bullwinkle there were alot of dim-witted cartoon heroes in the 60s and the villains were smart. Why are the villains dim-witted and the heroes are smart in the real world, on top of that the villains seem to win alot ? Our Sponsor Key Largo Chocolates; www.keylargochocolates.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 665-6 Effen Shakespeare!

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 13, 2022 26:16


    Jim receives a delivery from a distillery. The best way for the non-drinking Jim to evaluate the product is the best way even if he was drinking that is by a group of tasters. Since its a matter of taste he needs to find people who drink that type of liquor. Finally when you feel the need to curse endeavor to be creative. Our sponsor Key Largo Chocolates; www.keylargochocolates.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 665-5 ArrangedMarriage.Com

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 11, 2022 37:51


    Jim takes Abby to an Orchid Festival a decidedly unlike Jim thing to do. What array of booze selections should you get for big event like an Orchid Festival? People have sometimes congruent sometimes incongruent reasons seeking a relationship it is important to sort that out. A package arrives at Jim's door at the end of the show and he asks audience to give him advice. Our Sponsor Key Largo Chocolate; www.keylargochocolate.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 665-4 A Reverse Catfisher

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 10, 2022 38:31


    There seems to be a distinct difference in types of drinks ordered by locals and tourists. Jim goes into detail on one of his favorite pastimes reverse catfishing. Using his skills as a bullsh*tter he tries to lure in predators on social media who seek to bilk lonely people on the internet. During one such exchange he finds someone who seems to be a real person with an axe to grind. Thanks again to our show sponsor Key Largo Chocolates; www.keylargochocolates,com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    reverse catfisher
    Episode 665-3 Robot Bartender of the Year

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 7, 2022 34:07


    Jim begins with explaining his thoughts on arbitrary contest that declare things, people, or places; the Best. What skills are we grading on for a Bartender? Is b.s. a category. Sometimes bars are awkward places to bring your kids. Prediction 5 years from now a robot bartender will have Jim's job. Thank you Key Largo Chocolate and Ice Cream for your sponsorship; www.keylargochocolate.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 665-2 When You're a Jet!

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 4, 2022 34:16


    What about the cliques in the Bar do the Happy Hour Locals mix well with the Happy Hour Snowbirds? They do. After finding the year of an old penny, Jim contemplates what is old. Thank you to our show sponsor; Key Largo Chocolates, www.keylargochocolates.com . --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 665-1 My Sister is a Ventriloquist

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 3, 2022 26:34


    A gorgeous day in Paradise has Jim recall the misidentification of a person with a hippie/mullet hybrid hairdo over the weekend. Mistaken comments such as "What would your granddaughter like to drink?" gets a bartender in trouble when she's a girlfriend or a dude. We review solutions to changing the flow of an inappropriate bar discussion with a phrase as easy as "Well my Amish Bookie says.....". 40% of the time it works every time. Thank you to our show sponsor Key Largo Chocolate www.keylargochocolate.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 664 Dusty Old Bottle of Galliano

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 1, 2022 31:57


    Jim's restaurant gets a post-Ian customer increase. A bartender triumphantly posts a bottle of the very little in demand Galliano. Why do people give more weight to some people's opinion outside of their area of expertise if they have a couple extra letters added to their name? This episode is brought to you by Key Largo Chocolates, www.keylargochocolates.com  tell them the Keys Bartender sent you. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 663 What is Wrong with a Fanny Pack!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 30, 2022 37:53


    Jim wants to get a fanny pack. A group of guest get Jim's name wrong, he doesn't mind. A co-worker likes someone else's preparation of a cosmopolitan leads into a conversation about consistency. We wrap with how Jim handles the vibe of his guest. Thanks to our sponsor Key Largo Chocolates, www.keylargochocolates.com --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 662 Worry Wart

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 29, 2022 37:26


    Hurricane Ian is past leaving death and destruction in its path but not so much in the Keys. Jim uses a simple answering script for phone calls when working at the Bar "Hello the Catch ,we are open". When people see a huge Hurricane approaching Florida  there are a mix of reactions, worry being one of them. Being prepared can alleviate worry of that as well as being grounded in that you are ready.   --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/james-horan6/support

    Episode 661 That's Ian I'm Seeing

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 27, 2022 30:57


    With Hurricane Ian over 200 miles away the Florida Keys and South Florida begin to feel the effects. The Florida Keys' priorities- preparation, mitigation, and inebriation. Not necessarily in that order. We welcome our new show sponsor Key Largo Chocolates.

    Episode 660 That's Not Tiffany

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 25, 2022 37:14


    Forgetting or misremembering a person's name happens so often Jim wonders why people take issue with it. The Future Hurricane Ian threightens Florida, though the Keys seem to be safe in the current models. We see how different people react to approaching tropical systems. Some go into panic buying mode, some take a more wait and see approach.

    659 The Hurricane Dance

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 23, 2022 30:45


    Tropical Storm season gets even more active and the Florida Keys starts preparing. Similar to a dance the the storm takes the lead and residents try to stay in step. Further updates to follow.

    Episode 658 Shallow Jim

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 22, 2022 31:46


    Some times a little work around can handle certain problems whether a leaky CO2 Tank or a cantankerous patron. People are by and large ready to be civil if given the opportunity and the right guidance.

    Episode 658 Blameless in Key Largo

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 20, 2022 31:26


    Jim gives a tip on how he handles customer service issues at the restaurant. Several technology issues occur on the same day, Jim's default reaction is to blame I.T., programmers, hardware, etc and lose his sh*t. Realizing blame does not resolve the issues, we can look for the source of the issue and move on to a solution. Today one solution solved 2 issues with the last issue pending and no one lost their sh*t. That my friends is progress.

    Episode 657 God Save the King!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 19, 2022 33:21


    Though business is slower in the Keys there are enough people to keep this bartender busy. The Queen passed away almost 2 weeks ago and the funeral just took place. Though Jim takes a dim view of the idea of Monarchies and Aristocracy he sees the value it has for many around the world. After 246 years of separation the U.S. still has a crush on the Windsors. A sincere farewell to a very classy lady.

    Episode 656 Only 86 Billion

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 16, 2022 37:56


    Jim goes over what you need on a wine list for a small family restaurant. A bunch athletes retiring leaves Jim contemplating his future of aging with grace. Finally the the Brain used to have 100 billion neurons now it is around 86 billion, what a gyp.

    Episode 656 - Only 86 Billion

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 16, 2022 37:57


    Episode 655 Wine Snob or Wine Slob

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 13, 2022 33:41


    Jim has a wine tasting to attend at his place of work. So what does a bartender who doesn't drink do at a wine tasting. A In this episode we get a brief description of wine varieties, the most popular varieties, and how to choose them. Jim has his wife do all the tastings.

    Episode 654 Appreciate This!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 12, 2022 33:23


    A Norwegian group of tourist drink as if Valhalla were the next stop. After a daytrip to Marathon in the Keys Jim ponders how good life is. Comparatively most peoples lives are much more comfortable than just 100 years ago. So why are there so many people unhappy with their life situations.

    Episode 653 Know Sh*t!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 5, 2022 34:31


    A patron at Jim's Bar asks for the impossible. Several interactions at the bar brings the relationship between cognition and perception into todays thoughts. Are all blind in our interactions with people? Can knowing we don't know help?

    Episodes 652 A Comedy of Ethics

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 2, 2022 36:10


    We talk about comedy and ethics. Jim gets a phone call at work by someone who is literally living in the past. Speculations abound on what happened to the caller as Jim fears getting caught in a temporal phenomena. Spoiler alert we talk about Apple TV's series 5 Days at Memorial and give away the plot. The show is held up as an example of ethics in action.

    Episode 651 Farewell McGeehan's

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 30, 2022 35:15


    A locals Bar in Philadelphia closes after 93 years of business and head shaving. With very few tourist in town Jim sees more locals in the Supermarket making it take as long to get in and out as when it is busy. Jim tries multiple solutions to solve his sleep problems. Finally with the labor shortages in the service industry how does an employer think they can get away with increasing wage deductions. Note- Explicit language is the use of the word a**hole.

    Episode 650 The Ass-Mint

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 26, 2022 34:28


    Jim likes to lighten his mood with consuming sitcoms after watching the news. Some people have a desire for attention others not so much. Birthdays are a great way to show appreciation for those who feel unnoticed or under appreciated. Finally a butt cheek deodorant commercial catches Jim's attention and leads him to ponder who had the idea first, does it matter who came up with the idea first..

    Episode 649 Many Faces

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 23, 2022 26:37


    There can be different people inside each of us. The angry, joyful, lonely, sociable, adventurous, lustful, confident, anxious, charitable, attention seeking etc. any of these aspects can assume control of our person. We can accept the possibility and become aware of these manifestations. In respect to those personae lets stop giving fuel to the negative and nurture the positive.

    Episode 648 Don't Be a Hater!

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 22, 2022 32:01


    What role does Confirmation Bias have in everyday life? Life does not just have to happen to you. Jim discovers that stress and anxiety can be alleviated by a change in perspective. Stress can be a motivator and anxiety can be an opportunity for growth.

    Episode 647 The Greatest Gift

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 21, 2022 41:03


    Not the Whitney Houston song, still a good song. The greatest gift for Jim this birthday coming up is the change he has experienced the last 15 years. You can keep your birthday cake and presents the greatest gift is the opportunity he has had to change.

    Episode 646 The Diplomatic Male

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 15, 2022 32:31


    A comment by several of Jim's spin class attendees lead him to question who he really is. How important is it to acknowledge perceptions others have of you? It is easier to understand how we reject critiques than how we equivocate compliments. Perhaps the behavior says more about us than the compliment.

    Episode 645 Self Motivation

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 10, 2022 31:37


    Jim finds himself thinking he is in a rut, ruminating on stagnation and possible depression. The best thing he can imagine is at the core of his belief, that hope and motivation come from within. These thoughts drive out the other thoughts. Thank you listeners, please be kind to yourselves and be your own cheerleader.

    Episode 645- Be Your Own Coach

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 10, 2022 31:38


    Jim finds himself thinking he is in a rut, ruminating on stagnation and possible depression. The best thing he can imagine is at the core of his belief, that hope and motivation come from within. These thoughts drive out the other thoughts. Thank you listeners, please be kind to yourselves and be your own cheerleader.

    Claim Keys Bartender

    In order to claim this podcast we'll send an email to with a verification link. Simply click the link and you will be able to edit tags, request a refresh, and other features to take control of your podcast page!

    Claim Cancel