Remodel Parenting

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How many times have you wished your kid came with a manual? When we are unsure as parents, there are so many conflicting opinions and it is overwhelming to know which way is best. Even when we’re intentional, situations change which requires us be flexible and remodel our styles to meet the needs of our families. I created this podcast to share principles and strategies I have used in counseling and education to help parents prioritize authenticity, connection, and purpose with their kids. Welcome to Remodel Parenting.

Deena Shelton PhD, LPC-S


    • Nov 14, 2022 LATEST EPISODE
    • every other week NEW EPISODES
    • 19m AVG DURATION
    • 106 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Remodel Parenting

    Episode 105: All About Development: Adolescence (Episode 5 of 8)

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 14, 2022 32:33


    In an outcomes-based world, it is easy to forget how much of our growth is developmental. Having grace and patience for our children's development can be tough, but it is even harder to have grace and patience for our own development. All humans develop throughout their lives, and aspects of development influence our experiences. In this episode, we explore all aspects of development from ages 11-18.

    Episode 104: All About Development: Middle Childhood (Episode 4 of 8)

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 7, 2022 29:52


    In an outcomes-based world, it is easy to forget how much of our growth is developmental. Having grace and patience for our children's development can be tough, but it is even harder to have grace and patience for our own development. All humans develop throughout their lives, and aspects of development influence our experiences. In this episode, we explore all aspects of development from ages 6-11.

    Episode 103: All About Development: Early Childhood (Episode 3 of 8)

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 17, 2022 28:40


    In an outcomes-based world, it is easy to forget how much of our growth is developmental. Having grace and patience for our children's development can be tough, but it is even harder to have grace and patience for our own development. All humans develop throughout their lives, and aspects of development influence our experiences. In this episode, we explore all aspects of development from ages 2-6.

    Episode 102: All About Development: The First Two Years (Episode 2 of 8)

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 10, 2022 26:45


    In an outcomes-based world, it is easy to forget how much of our growth is developmental. Having grace and patience for our children's development can be tough, but it is even harder to have grace and patience for our own development. All humans develop throughout their lives, and aspects of development influence our experiences. In this episode, we explore all aspects of development in the first two years.

    Episode 101: All About Development: The Groundwork (Episode 1 of 8)

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 3, 2022 21:28


    In an outcomes-based world, it is easy to forget how much of our growth is developmental. Having grace and patience for our children's development can be tough, but it is even harder to have grace and patience for our own development. All humans develop throughout their lives, and aspects of development influence our experiences. In this episode, learn about the groundwork for a developmental lens and the anchoring concepts for developmental stages.

    Episode 100: Google and Family Management: Communicate and Execute (Episode 5 of 5)

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 26, 2022 25:12


    In the early 2000s, Google launched Project Oxygen to study what made their best leaders the best. The findings from ongoing research are valuable to any company, but have excellent application for families, too. This episode covers the principles of good communication and strong decision-making.

    Episode 99: Google and Family Management: Altruism and Collaboration (Episode 4 of 5)

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 19, 2022 21:58


    In the early 2000s, Google launched Project Oxygen to study what made their best leaders the best. The findings from ongoing research are valuable to any company, but have excellent application for families, too. This episode covers the principles of creating a supportive environment, collaboration, and genuine concern for others.

    Episode 98: Google and Family Management: Handle Business (Episode 3 of 5)

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 12, 2022 21:24


    In the early 2000s, Google launched Project Oxygen to study what made their best leaders the best. The findings from ongoing research are valuable to any company, but have excellent application for families, too. This episode covers the principles of productivity, results-orientation, and technical skills for advice.

    Episode 97: Google and Family Management: Grow Others (Episode 2 of 5)

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 5, 2022 25:58


    In the early 2000s, Google launched Project Oxygen to study what made their best leaders the best. The findings from ongoing research are valuable to any company, but have excellent application for families, too. This episode covers the principles of developed coaching skills and empowering without micromanaging.

    Episode 96: Google and Family Management: Vision and Feedback (Episode 1 of 5)

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 29, 2022 21:55


    In the early 2000s, Google launched Project Oxygen to study what made their best leaders the best. The findings from ongoing research are valuable to any company, but have excellent application for families, too. This episode covers the principles of clear vision, strategy, and ongoing feedback.

    Episode 95: Lessons from Classic Research: The Good Samaritan Experiment (Episode 13 of 13)

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 15, 2022 17:09


    There are some pretty famous research studies from the field of psychology that are fascinating to explore and provide foundational principles on which we base many aspects of our knowledge of humans today. In this series, I will explain some of those early research studies and how we can glean practical truths to apply to parenting. In this episode, we will explore the influence of hurrying on helping and consider how that influences our interactions with others.

    Episode 94: Lessons from Classic Research: Stanford Prison Experiment (Episode 12 of 13)

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 8, 2022 22:58


    There are some pretty famous research studies from the field of psychology that are fascinating to explore and provide foundational principles on which we base many aspects of our knowledge of humans today. In this series, I will explain some of those early research studies and how we can glean practical truths to apply to parenting. In this episode, I will unpack the renowned Stanford Prison Experiment and implications we can draw from it for our parenting toolbox.

    Episode 93: Lessons from Classic Research: Elliot's Divided Classroom (Episode 11 of 13)

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 1, 2022 20:55


    There are some pretty famous research studies from the field of psychology that are fascinating to explore and provide foundational principles on which we base many aspects of our knowledge of humans today. In this series, I will explain some of those early research studies and how we can glean practical truths to apply to parenting. In this episode, we will unpack one of the most influential studies on the effects of racism and prejudice that was developed by a teacher in a third-grade classroom in the late 1960s.

    Episode 92: Lessons from Classic Research: Selective Attention (Episode 10 of 13)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 25, 2022 18:00


    There are some pretty famous research studies from the field of psychology that are fascinating to explore and provide foundational principles on which we base many aspects of our knowledge of humans today. In this series, I will explain some of those early research studies and how we can glean practical truths to apply to parenting. In this episode, I will discuss selective attention and how it can influence parenting. To watch the video mentioned in the episode, visit https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJG698U2Mvo.

    Episode 91: Lessons from Classic Research: Surrogate Mother Experiment (Episode 9 of 13)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 18, 2022 19:01


    There are some pretty famous research studies from the field of psychology that are fascinating to explore and provide foundational principles on which we base many aspects of our knowledge of humans today. In this series, I will explain some of those early research studies and how we can glean practical truths to apply to parenting. In this episode, we will explore the nature of attachment and how comfort and connection influence human development.

    Episode 90: Lessons from Classic Research: The Marshmallow Test (Episode 8 of 13)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 11, 2022 19:48


    There are some pretty famous research studies from the field of psychology that are fascinating to explore and provide foundational principles on which we base many aspects of our knowledge of humans today. In this series, I will explain some of those early research studies and how we can glean practical truths to apply to parenting. In this episode, we will uncover truths about the value of delayed gratification and how to increase our capacity to practice and teach it to our children.

    Episode 89: Lessons from Classic Research: Ross' False Consensus Effect Study (Episode 7 of 13)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 4, 2022 19:23


    There are some pretty famous research studies from the field of psychology that are fascinating to explore and provide foundational principles on which we base many aspects of our knowledge of humans today. In this series, I will explain some of those early research studies and how we can glean practical truths to apply to parenting. In this episode, we will explore our tendency to make assumptions about others' beliefs and decisions based on our own and how that can influence our parenting experience.

    Episode 88: Lessons from Classic Research: Asch Conformity Study (Episode 6 of 13)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 27, 2022 20:21


    There are some pretty famous research studies from the field of psychology that are fascinating to explore and provide foundational principles on which we base many aspects of our knowledge of humans today. In this series, I will explain some of those early research studies and how we can glean practical truths to apply to parenting. In this episode, we will use a study on conformity to explore more of our susceptibility to the influence of others on our own decision-making.

    Episode 87: Lessons from Classic Research: Milgrim's Obedience Study (Episode 5 of 13)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 20, 2022 21:10


    There are some pretty famous research studies from the field of psychology that are fascinating to explore and provide foundational principles on which we base many aspects of our knowledge of humans today. In this series, I will explain some of those early research studies and how we can glean practical truths to apply to parenting. In this episode, we will explore a famous study on obedience and authority and how the findings can influence our children and us as parents.

    Episode 86: Lessons from Classic Research: Bobo Doll Experiment (Episode 4 of 13)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 13, 2022 19:07


    There are some pretty famous research studies from the field of psychology that are fascinating to explore and provide foundational principles on which we base many aspects of our knowledge of humans today. In this series, I will explain some of those early research studies and how we can glean practical truths to apply to parenting. In this episode, I discuss modeled behaviors and aggression as we understand from the Bobo Doll.

    Episode 85: Lessons from Classic Research: Learned Helplessness (Episode 3 of 13)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 6, 2022 18:35


    There are some pretty famous research studies from the field of psychology that are fascinating to explore and provide foundational principles on which we base many aspects of our knowledge of humans today. In this series, I will explain some of those early research studies and how we can glean practical truths to apply to parenting. In this episode, we will explore Seligman's research on learned helplessness.

    Episode 84: Lessons from Classic Research: Little Albert (Episode 2 of 13)

    Play Episode Listen Later May 30, 2022 18:14


    There are some pretty famous research studies from the field of psychology that are fascinating to explore and provide foundational principles on which we base many aspects of our knowledge of humans today. In this series, I will explain some of those early research studies and how we can glean practical truths to apply to parenting. In this episode, we will learn of Little Albert and conditioned fear.

    Episode 83: Lessons from Classic Research: Pavlov's Dogs (Episode 1 of 13)

    Play Episode Listen Later May 23, 2022 19:39


    There are some pretty famous research studies from the field of psychology that are fascinating to explore and provide foundational principles on which we base many aspects of our knowledge of humans today. In this series, I will explain some of those early research studies and how we can glean practical truths to apply to parenting. In this episode, I start with Pavlov's dogs, one of the earliest studies that taught us about learning and conditioning.

    Episode 82: Addiction Resilience: Flexibility and Accepting Change (Episode 5 of 5)

    Play Episode Listen Later May 16, 2022 24:15


    While many things contribute to addictive behaviors and tendencies, there are traits and experiences that increase the likelihood that someone may struggle with addiction in the future. Parents can build resilience in their children before these issues become a problem if they know what to look for and how to interact. In this episode, I wrap up the series with practical guidance on guiding our kids through difficult change and building resilience for healthy life processes.

    Episode 81: Addiction Resilience: Rules as a Life Standard (Episode 4 of 5)

    Play Episode Listen Later May 9, 2022 23:04


    While many things contribute to addictive behaviors and tendencies, there are traits and experiences that increase the likelihood that someone may struggle with addiction in the future. Parents can build resilience in their children before these issues become a problem if they know what to look for and how to interact. In this episode, I unpack the need for us to reframe rules as markers for self-management and maturity rather than a passing childhood experience.

    Episode 80: Addiction Resilience: Integrating Positive and Negative Realities (Episode 3 of 5)

    Play Episode Listen Later May 2, 2022 21:52


    While many things contribute to addictive behaviors and tendencies, there are traits and experiences that increase the likelihood that someone may struggle with addiction in the future. Parents can build resilience in their children before these issues become a problem if they know what to look for and how to interact. In this episode, I define integration and explain how the ability to balance our positive and negative emotions provides us with skills to navigate difficult life situations.

    Episode 79: Addiction Resilience: Mastering Failure and Disappointment (Episode 2 of 5)

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 25, 2022 22:14


    While many things contribute to addictive behaviors and tendencies, there are traits and experiences that increase the likelihood that someone may struggle with addiction in the future. Parents can build resilience in their children before these issues become a problem if they know what to look for and how to interact. In this episode, I address failure and disappointment as necessary experiences for healthy development.

    Episode 78: Addiction Resilience: Understanding the Scope (Episode 1 of 5)

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 18, 2022 22:56


    While many things contribute to addictive behaviors and tendencies, there are traits and experiences that increase the likelihood that someone may struggle with addiction in the future. Parents can build resilience in their children before these issues become a problem if they know what to look for and how to interact. In this episode, I cover the scope of the addiction problem and traits that contribute to longer-lasting problems and lay the foundation for preventative measures.

    Episode 77: Kids and Tech: Conversations and Boundaries (Episode 4 of 4)

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 11, 2022 16:51


    Most parents agree that kids need limits on their use of technology but knowing when and how much usage is healthy can be difficult. This series is designed to explore some of the questions I have had parents ask over the years about technology and their children. In this episode, I discuss ways to talk to kids about the rules of technology before and after access to it.

    Episode 76: Kids and Tech: Games, Apps, and Social Media (Episode 3 of 4)

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 4, 2022 19:29


    Most parents agree that kids need limits on their use of technology but knowing when and how much usage is healthy can be difficult. This series is designed to explore some of the questions I have had parents ask over the years about technology and their children. In this episode, I provide answers to questions about technology and practical advice for protecting kids.

    Episode 75: Kids and Tech: Phones and Internet (Episode 2 of 4)

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 28, 2022 21:25


    Most parents agree that kids need limits on their use of technology but knowing when and how much usage is healthy can be difficult. This series is designed to explore some of the questions I have had parents ask over the years about technology and their children. In this episode, I offer answers to some practical questions like when kids need access and how to monitor it.

    Episode 74: Kids and Tech: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (Episode 1 of 4)

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 21, 2022 19:10


    Most parents agree that kids need limits on their use of technology but knowing when and how much usage is healthy can be difficult. This series is designed to explore some of the questions I have had parents ask over the years about technology and their children. In this episode, I will cover some of the research and information that informs the need for boundaries and intentionality with technology access.

    Episode 73: Building Self-Esteem – Accuracy of Self (Episode 3 of 3)

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 14, 2022 20:15


    We all want our kids to believe in themselves and their abilities to set goals, work hard, and reach them. Self-esteem is vital to that process but knowing how to build self-esteem in our children without inflating their egos can seem like a daunting process. This episode provides clarity in the need for accurate feedback and honesty (even with it is tough) in our interactions without children for effective self-esteem to grow.

    Episode 72: Building Self-Esteem – Acceptance and Connection (Episode 2 of 3)

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 7, 2022 16:21


    We all want our kids to believe in themselves and their abilities to set goals, work hard, and reach them. Self-esteem is vital to that process but knowing how to build self-esteem in our children without inflating their egos can seem like a daunting process. This episode explores the topics of acceptance and connection between adults and children as vital to self-esteem and self-worth.

    Episode 71: Building Self-Esteem – Sense of Self (Episode 1 of 3)

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 28, 2022 14:34


    We all want our kids to believe in themselves and their abilities to set goals, work hard, and reach them. Self-esteem is vital to that process but knowing how to build self-esteem in our children without inflating their egos can seem like a daunting process. This episode explores the concept with accurate definitions and provides a balanced the approach to building kids up without creating entitlement.

    Episode 70: Remodel Forgiveness – Reconciliation (Episode 4 of 4)

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 21, 2022 19:45


    Most people say they understand forgiveness, but struggle to put into words what it is and how to do it. Forgiveness is more than an aftermath recognition of getting past hurts. It is the key to moving forward when we have been wronged. In this episode, we will explore reconciliation and consider the negative effects of long-term unforgiveness and bitterness including how to help kids (and ourselves) move beyond those experiences.

    Episode 69: Remodel Forgiveness – How Do I Get It? (Episode 3 of 4)

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 14, 2022 21:19


    Most people say they understand forgiveness, but struggle to put into words what it is and how to do it. Forgiveness is more than an aftermath recognition of getting over a wrongdoing. It is the key to moving forward when we have been wronged. In this episode, we will explore specific steps to receive forgiveness and practical skills for teaching kids to use them early.

    Episode 68: Remodel Forgiveness – How Do I Give It? (Episode 2 of 4)

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 7, 2022 20:54


    Most people say they understand forgiveness, but struggle to put into words what it is and how to do it. Forgiveness is more than an aftermath recognition of getting past hurts. It is the key to moving forward when we have been wronged. In this episode, we will explore specific steps to use to forgive others and practical skills for teaching kids to use them early.

    Episode 67: Remodel Forgiveness – Definitions Matter (Episode 1 of 4)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 31, 2022 18:59


    Most people say they understand forgiveness, but struggle to put into words what it is and how to do it. Forgiveness is more than an aftermath recognition of getting past hurts. It is the key to moving forward when we have been wronged. In this episode, we will explore accurate and helpful definitions of forgiveness and challenge definitions that are harmful to the process.

    Episode 66: Breaks and Rest During the Holidays

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 8, 2021 12:13


    We have been working on Remodel Parenting for over fourteen months, have released 65 episodes, and have logged more than 9000 listens across all episodes. In this episode, I am discussing the importance of rest and planning for good things. As such, we are excited about upcoming series and topics, but we are taking a break during the last few months of 2021 to rest and plan for next year. Listen to this episode for suggested series to catch or catch again that may be helpful as you prepare for the holiday season!

    Episode 65: Training for Healthy Relationships: Cultivating Joy and Humor (Episode 5 of 5)

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 1, 2021 18:52


    Everyone needs to be in healthy relationships, but it can be a struggle to find and maintain them. As parents, we can identify things in our own lives that create struggle in relationships, and we want to help our kids avoid the same types of issues. In this series, we are exploring topics and skills that parents can use to prepare their children for a lifetime of healthy interactions with others. In this episode, we finish the series by discussing the need to cultivate joy and humor in the midst of all parts of life, especially hard seasons of learning and growing.

    Episode 64: Training for Healthy Relationships: Cultivating Fidelity (Episode 4 of 5)

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2021 22:20


    Everyone needs to be in healthy relationships, but it can be a struggle to find and maintain them. As parents, we can identify things in our own lives that create struggle in relationships, and we want to help our kids avoid the same types of issues. In this series, we are exploring topics and skills that parents can use to prepare their children for a lifetime of healthy interactions with others. In this episode, we explore skills that produce the ability to make values-based decisions and stick with them.

    Episode 63: Training for Healthy Relationships: Cultivating Connection (Episode 3 of 5)

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 18, 2021 21:38


    Everyone needs to be in healthy relationships, but it can be a struggle to find and maintain them. As parents, we can identify things in our own lives that create struggle in relationships, and we want to help our kids avoid the same types of issues. In this series, we are exploring topics and skills that parents can use to prepare their children for a lifetime of healthy interactions with others. In this episode, we explore specific skills for connecting and how we can teach kids how to use them earlier in life.

    Episode 62: Training for Healthy Relationships: Cultivating Identity and Separateness (Episode 2 of 5)

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 11, 2021 21:01


    Everyone needs to be in healthy relationships, but it can be a struggle to find and maintain them. As parents, we can identify things in our own lives that create struggle in relationships, and we want to help our kids avoid the same types of issues. In this series, we are exploring topics and skills that parents can use to prepare their children for a lifetime of healthy interactions with others. In this episode, we explore the need for identity development as a precursor to connecting with others.

    Episode 61: Training for Healthy Relationships: Relationship vs. Relating Skills (Episode 1 of 5)

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 4, 2021 21:12


    Everyone needs to be in healthy relationships, but it can be a struggle to find and maintain them. As parents, we can identify things in our own lives that create struggle in relationships, and we want to help our kids avoid the same types of issues. In this series, we are exploring topics and skills that parents can use to prepare their children for a lifetime of healthy interactions with others. In this episode, I compare the concept of "a relationship" to the behavior of healthy relating and share specific ways our relationships influence our kids.

    Episode 60: Remodel Stress: Skills for Stress Management (Part 4 of 4)

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 27, 2021 21:24


    It can be easy to fall into the trap of thinking we need to help our kids avoid stress in their lives. Stress is a normal part of life and our mindset about stress has significant implications on our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. In this episode, we will break down specific skills and interventions for parents to use to help their kids work through stressful circumstances.

    Episode 59: Remodel Stress: Normal Development and Stress (Part 3 of 4)

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 20, 2021 21:01


    It can be easy to fall into the trap of thinking we need to help our kids avoid stress in their lives. Stress is a normal part of life and our mindset about stress has significant implications on our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. In this episode, we will review developmental stages and how overcoming issues in each stage leads to healthy adulthood.

    Episode 58: Remodel Stress: Power of the Parent Perspective (Part 2 of 4)

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 13, 2021 19:37


    It can be easy to fall into the trap of thinking we need to help our kids avoid stress in their lives. Stress is a normal part of life and our mindset about stress has significant implications on our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. In this episode, the parent perspective of stress takes center stage as highly influential on our kids' stress experiences.

    Episode 57: Remodel Stress: Raising Stress-Free Kids is a Myth (Part 1 of 4)

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 6, 2021 20:35


    It can be easy to fall into the trap of thinking we need to help our kids avoid stress in their lives. Stress is a normal part of life and our mindset about stress has significant implications on our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. In this episode, we will explore how an attempt to make life stress-free for kids can backfire in detrimental ways.

    Episode 56: The Power of Connection: It's All Skill (Part 3 of 3)

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 30, 2021 21:10


    Humans are wired for connection, and we need to feel connected to others to function well in all areas of our lives. Though the drive for connection is innate, the skills for building healthy connections are not. People learn how to connect through their relationships with others, and it all starts in childhood. As parents, we can only teach the skills we know. In this episode, I outline the skills it takes to create and maintain healthy connections.

    Episode 55: The Power of Connection: Purposeful Presence (Part 2 of 3)

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 23, 2021 19:56


    Humans are wired for connection, and we need to feel connected to others to function well in all areas of our lives. Though the drive for connection is innate, the skills for building healthy connections are not. People learn how to connect through their relationships with others, and it all starts in childhood. As parents, we can only teach the skills we know. In this episode, I share how connection requires the ability to be fully present with others.

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