She Shifted Podcast

I want to share with you a great conversation I had with Dr. Ijeoma Nwaogu. Dr. Nwaogu is the Founder and CEO of EVERLEAD® and the Multicultural Center Director at Rice University. She is deeply passionate and committed to the personal growth, well-being, and advancement of others. Today we are talking about IMPOSTER SYNDROME - the extremes of self-doubt, feelings of being a fraud, and the fear of being exposed. Listen in as we share personal experiences and offer insight for overcoming. In our convo, we will discuss Imposter Syndrome, a deep-seated belief of not being good enough. When something good happens, you feel like it shouldn't be happening to you because you're not good enough to deserve it—thoughts like. I'm not fooling anyone, who do I think I am, I can't possibly pull this off, I have no business doing this, and they are going to figure me out… and so you end up feeling like an "imposter." We'll discuss some of the characteristics of Imposter Syndrome. Seventy percent of people experience Imposter syndrome once in their lives, and it can appear in several different ways like perfectionism or superwoman syndrome. What are some of the internal or external factors that can contribute to that deep-seated belief patter? Personal experiences with Imposter Syndrome? What role did mental wellness and your faith in God play in shaping your ability to overcome? Every time we give in to our inner imposter's lies, we lose our ability to fulfill our highest potential; here are three shift points that we can put into action today to combat Imposter Syndrome. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/marsha359/support

Hello, hello, thank you so much for tuning into the She Shifted podcast. Today our real talk topic is on self-doubt. William Shakespeare said, "Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt." Have you ever doubted yourself? I mean to the point where you didn't go after that it, whatever that it was or is? I mean had a lack of faith, a feeling of doubt or uncertainty about one's abilities, actions, etc till it stop you in your tracks. It could have been a career path, a goal; 92 percent of people miss that mark at achieving their goals due to self-doubt. The impact of self-doubt could be in not fulfilling a dream, not starting that business you've wanted to start for years, not going for that promotion that you're more than qualified for. Not trusting the decisions you've made, you've prayed about it. He gave you an answer, confirm it with his word, and still don't trust the decision. Or you are not speaking up with ideas and insights. God has given you revelation on a solution to a problem, and sure it's out of the box, and you won't share because you don't think it's good enough. Or who am I to color outside of the lines. Why shouldn't you.. I'm just saying. But I get it…but nope, not today.. You see, self-Doubt is something that we all can relate to because we've all experienced one point or another. Your story may be different than mine, but I know you've got one. It doesn't matter what stage of life you're in... As women, we can doubt ourselves on so many levels, and self-doubt can become a massive hindrance in our ability to live more abundantly. Think about it; self-doubt won't even let you try at. I can't so..it won't.. I'm not going to try.. You've heard the saying, "Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will". Can we agree that there is definitely so truth to that saying..lol --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/marsha359/support

Join in as I share the mic with Tamika Thomas as we talk about mental wellness and living with crazy faith. Tamika shares what it means to be an inspirational transparent woman of God who lives to inspire and not impress. Her story is one of personal triumph in the face of adversity, trauma, and challenge. She shares how she views life’s challenges to include a PTSD diagnosis as treasures. We talk about the importance of healthy mindsets, how to incorporate practical tools, like prayer, journaling, studying the word of God, and other strategies to promote a healthy mindset. Tamika drops some golden nuggets on viewing the mind as the soil by which things grow and the importance of releasing negative thoughts, and replacing them with positive ones. In the episode, we talk about God, prayer, and the transforming power of crazy faith --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/marsha359/support

When a woman’s partner is unfaithful, it is not uncommon for their entire life to unravel. This unraveling is what was used not only as of the catalyst for Stephanie’s brokenness but the passion behind her healing and restoration. Stephanie’s passion and pleasure are to see women bounce back from whatever was the catalyst for their brokenness or stressful experience, forgive everyone who hurt them, and live out their God-given purpose. She helps women go from heartbreak to happiness so that ultimately, they grow as women and have the power and passion to be freed to love. I'm excited to share the mic, Stephanie McNeal. Stephanie welcome to the She Shifted podcast. In this episode, we talk about forgiveness; growth, potential, and seeds of opportunity. Stephanie doesn’t shy away from her backstory which includes experiencing infidelity in marriage. Stephanie shared how the experience shaped, molded, and acted as a catalyst for growth in her? She shared what forgiveness is and what forgiveness is not. We can’t begin to truly understand forgiveness until we acknowledge that it is a process. Right. If we look at our own journeys, it was a process that occurred in stages or phases. Now as believers, it’s still a process, the difference is with the Holy Spirit we navigate the process quicker, right? Stephanie breaks down what she believes are the stages or phases of forgiveness are? You will hear us echo loud and clear that Forgiveness is a choice and it is us to us to release it the offense to God. The word “give” is in forgiveness..that should tell us something. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/marsha359/support

Hello, hello! Today, our real talk topics are somewhat of a buffet; let's talk growth, potential, seeds of opportunity. It is not difficult at all to point out what is wrong. Right? Think about it. It is easier to be critical than it is to be complimentary. If you like something.. most of us will keep it so ourselves. We have to be persuaded to provide feedback. However, if you don't like something, if we don't hold back. We tell in and everyone who will listen. I believe it was Benjamin Franklin who said, "Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most fools do." I'd like to add .any fool can just criticize, just condemn, and just complain. Most well, you get what I'm trying to say. As we find ourselves in this constant cycle of change brought on by the COVID 19 crisis, wear a mask, don't wear a mask, mask ordnance, I refuse. States reopening, states delaying reopening, work from home, return to work, schools reopening. And by the way, we are still dealing with divisiveness as a result of racism and injustice. Many of us are wondering what that heck is going on? We are more inclined to criticize the wrong than recognize the good; we are more prone to criticize the wrong than recognize the opportunity for growth. We are more willing to criticize than to lean into our own potential, our own capacity to become and develop into something in the future. I believe that we were created to be a solution to a problem, an answer to a question. Sadly, we are more inclined to criticize than to recognized seeds of opportunity to be the solution. Let me give you a simple example. My first overseas duty station was in Korea. I'd been in the Army all of three years, and then they up and relocate me to Korea without asking me. Go figure. All of the creature comforts that I'd become accustomed to. You know my favorite restaurant, malls, movie theaters, cable, friends, own car, four-day weeks. All those things that make a home, home. I would no longer have access. Normalcy would have to be re-established, I was stationed at Fort Campbell and my family lived in Alabama, so I would go how often. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/marsha359/support

Tafeni L. English is the director of the SPLC’s Civil Rights Memorial Center (CRMC) in Montgomery, Alabama. The CRMC is an interpretive center that provides visitors with a deeper understanding of the civil rights movement and includes the Civil Rights Memorial, which honors 40 men, women, and children killed during the movement. In addition to overseeing the CRMC, English regularly travels across the country to speak about combating hate and extremism. This episode Tafeni addresses the impact did her personal experiences have had on your professional desire to educate others about the civil rights movement and the continued efforts for civil and human rights today? Tafeni will address what's going on in our nation today and as the director of the Southern Poverty Law Center's Civil Rights Memorial Center if she believes that people can be oblivious to the depth of racism in this country? She will share insight from her article It's time to demand justice for black people, she wrote…." Understanding the past sheds light on where we are now", did she think people have forgotten, dismissed the past as that was then this is now? She will shed light on the impact racism has had on the various domains of wellness in African Americans. Respond to how critical is it for each generation to participate in devising means to which real change can occur. The role women play in the current civil rights movement. As a prayer warrior….and social justice advocate for over 20 years, you've seen and heard a lot around injustice. How essential is it for us to pray for strategy as we continue to navigate racism and injustice Tafeni will educate some of us and remind most of us to shift. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/marsha359/support

Tafeni L. English is the director of the SPLC’s Civil Rights Memorial Center (CRMC) in Montgomery, Alabama. The CRMC is an interpretive center that provides visitors with a deeper understanding of the civil rights movement and includes the Civil Rights Memorial, which honors 40 men, women, and children killed during the movement. In addition to overseeing the CRMC, English regularly travels across the country to speak about combating hate and extremism. This episode Tafeni addresses the impact did her personal experiences have had on your professional desire to educate others about the civil rights movement and the continued efforts for civil and human rights today? Tafeni will address what's going on in our nation today and as the director of the Southern Poverty Law Center's Civil Rights Memorial Center if she believes that people can be oblivious to the depth of racism in this country? She will share insight from her article It's time to demand justice for black people, she wrote…." Understanding the past sheds light on where we are now", did she think people have forgotten, dismissed the past as that was then this is now? She will shed light on the impact racism has had on the various domains of wellness in African Americans. Respond to how critical is it for each generation to participate in devising means to which real change can occur. The role women play in the current civil rights movement. As a prayer warrior….and social justice advocate for over 20 years, you've seen and heard a lot around injustice. How essential is it for us to pray for strategy as we continue to navigate racism and injustice Tafeni will educate some of us and remind most of us to shift. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/marsha359/support

Thank you so much for tuning into the She Shifted podcast. What a difference a few weeks have made, right. This is the same statement, I made following the COVID-19 pandemic. We seemingly find ourselves once again shook at our core as we are in the midst of what the American Psychological Association is referring to as a racism pandemic. I will tell you that my heart weeps. Y'all I have cried out. I have cried out God. As a wife, mother, daughter, sister, auntie of black men, I have cried out to God. The other night, my husband and I were out walking and discussing what’s going on in the world and we recalled the multiple conversations that we’ve had to have with our son centered around racism and police brutality. Our collective cry was us just simply asking God to intervene. All of our adult lives have been about serving our country. As veterans, it is heart-wrenching to know the sacrifices made by so many service members and their family who have served multiple tours in Iraq and Afghanistan fighting the war on terrorism. Men and women who already experiencing so much loss… only to come back home to be treated like a terrorist because of the color of one’s skin. Understandably this is a very emotionally raw time for us all. Listen, if we want to change, we must be willing to be uncomfortable. This right here… should make us all uncomfortable. No doubt, we are living in what some have deemed a racism pandemic that has been at the root of our nation’s history for centuries. The strong roots of racism have taking a heavy psychological toll on African Americans and what we’re seeing in the streets of our cities is a result of that toll. Think about shaking up a liter of soda…. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/marsha359/support

In this episode, Dr. Griffin will share on a house with four rooms, creating a healthy life balance. Dr. Griffin tell the She Shifted Family a little bit about yourself? Your heart is for helping others address wellness. As women, we wear many hats. Both in the home as well as outside of the house for those that work outside the home. The COVID-19 storm and all that has come along with it has added dare I say more hats, and the demands have intensified in most areas. We're trying to feed our families, keep a roof over our heads, keep the electricity on, help with homework, manage the requirements of work if we're working. Looking for employment for those that aren't, and it is a lot to handle, and the pressure is real. Let's not mention the stress of reopening..the dilemma of reopening and the potential consequences. Many feel fearful, alone, overwhelmed, defeated, and hopeless. Additionally, we tackle is addressing wellness an awkward conversation to have right now? When we look at wellness, most focus on the physical aspect of wellness. As a helping professional, can you define wellness from a holistic perspective? How important is it to give attention to all the dimensions of wellness? Physical Emotional- understanding and respecting your feeling, values, attitudes, managing your emotions in a constructive way Spiritual – finding purpose and meaning Mental- work that provides It’s important to note that wellness is biblical: Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth. To prosper is to grow or increase; to thrive; to make gain. When I read that I think wellness. What can we expect if we neglect one over the other? Is finding balance possible? What role do self-awareness and self-regulation play when it comes to experiencing wellness?

Recently, on the podcast, we've talked about having an attitude of gratitude and the importance of resiliency during these challenging times we find ourselves in. Things are very different now. Things will be very different moving forward. Some experts believe that this is the perfect storm creating psychological trauma. So I invited Dr. Gibson in to share the mic with me today. Dr. Gibson, hello there and welcome to the podcast!! A topic that you enjoy teaching on is that of trauma recovery and coping skills are very much a part of the journey of recovery. Talk to us about the importance of coping skills?

Hello, hello. Let us sing a new song to the Lord, for He has done wonderful deeds. His right hand has won a mighty victory AND because He has already won the victory, we will rebound from this. Let’s jump right into today’s real talk topic which is resiliency. How do we get to the point of resiliency? Well, we know that gratitude is connected to faith. Rick Warren stated that Faith unlocks the promises of God and it shows us the power of God and it turns dreams into reality, and it gives us the power to hold on in tough times. But faith doesn’t always take you out of the problem. Faith doesn’t eliminate suffering. Faith often takes you through the problem. Faith doesn’t always take away the pain. Faith gives you the ability to handle the pain. Faith doesn’t take you out of the storm. Faith calms you in the midst of the storm. Come on somebody. In other words… Sounds a lot like the actions of Resiliency…so if you ask me…resilience must be a byproduct of faith. Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, tragedy, or significant sources of stress — like serious health problems, financial or economic crises but when we look across our individual lives, we’ve all experienced adversity at one time or another. We’ve all had our share of twists and turns, ups and downs from everyday challenges. As believers, we know that God did not promise to keep suffering away from us. Jesus suffered so why would we be exempt. We are not, John 16:33 New International Version (NIV) 33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” He did promise that we would not suffer, we would not get sick, we would not lose our jobs, we would not experience heartache. He DID promise that He would be our present help in the time of trouble. With trouble, change and challenge each one of us will respond differently. We just do, it’s a fact. Each one of us will bring to the table a unique flood of thoughts, strong emotions; fear, frustration, uncertainty because we process our situation differently. Yet we all generally adapt well over time to those life-changing situations and stressful situations — which is largely due in part to resilience. When I think resilience, I see it as a God-designed characteristic that points us directly to him. I know whatever the situation is that I’m currently faced with Jesus has already covered. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that if we open up the bible..it has been addressed in there too. Resilience is all throughout the bible. Man and women of God leaping or bouncing back from a difficult experience.

What a difference a few weeks have made, right. I pray that during this time you are staying encouraged, connected, engaged, as well as active. Despite the limitations, I hope that you’ve found new and creative ways to do so. You know, we live in an age of information and technology at our fingertips and I’m thankful for all the resources that create a window of opportunity to stay encourage, connected, engaged and so forth. I’m grateful. In the midst of all of everything that is going on in the world today. I am grateful. I so grateful because I know that know that I know…that this too was conquered on the cross!! Sure I could talk fear, anxiety, worry, faith and rightfully so..there is a lot of that going on. We are living in a changing season right now, but I want to challenge you to tap into a different perspective and that is an attitude of gratitude. Today, our real talk topic is about gratitude. Your next comment or concern might be....what..really..do you know what’s going on…have you watched the news lately. Listen, I can’t find any toilet paper within a 10mile radius? In what world is that normal? Our world has been seemingly turned upside down. I have so many questions that I don’t have answers too and you want to talk about gratitude? TO which my response.. is yes ma’am, I absolutely do. Listen we all have something, no everything to be grateful for. Most often we just need to be reminded of it. My reminder came a week or so prior to before quarantine. It was after you’ve had one of those..one of those days that you just want to punch that day in the face. Seriously, you just want to clothesline, tko it. I’m talking about everything that could go wrong does go wrong and then there is a ripple effect that occurs and you’re left with the question of what in the world. No, seriously. How did we get here? In the midst of my moment, and I love this…the holy spirit reminded me of 1 Thessalonians 5:18 King James Version (KJV) 18 In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Wow! Okay, so we’re going straight there..okay LOL! What a great way to redirect our focus. Gratitude! The bible addresses giving thanks, thankful, thanksgiving, confession, praise, thanksgiving; giving of praise to God; thanksgiving in songs of worship; thanksgiving choir or procession; thank-offering, the sacrifice of thanksgiving over 143 times. According to Emmons and Stern of Yale, emotional intelligence, the word gratitude is derived from the Latin gratia, meaning favor, and gratus, meaning pleasing. All derivatives from this Latin root have to do with kindness, generousness, gifts, the beauty of giving and receiving, or getting something for nothing. Sit on that for a while. We all can agree that much of life is about giving, receiving, and repaying benefits and kindnesses. As you look across your day, I’m sure you’ll be hard-pressed to a moment in time where you’ve not experienced giving, receiving, or the repaying benefits in some form or another. It could be in the form of a smile, greeting a family member, friend, or stranger, waving at a neighbor, words of encouragement, by way of an email, text message, a teleconference, videoconference. Listening to the birds sings, enjoying the sunshine.

Today, I’m super excited to share with you that the SheShifted Podcast can now be accessed from our very own website. Woo Hoo!! Yep, we’ve got our very own stake of internet real estate at Sheshifted.org not only can you can listen to podcast episodes but there you’ll find a blog and amazing resources, tips, a worship playlist and so much more. The goal is to continue the conversation. You gotta check out the blog! Listen, I’ve teamed up with some amazing women, who will bring to you words of encouragement, words of inspiration, and devotional like readings that are guaranteed to encourage and empower you. So, if you’ve not to check sheshifted.org out..what are you waiting for? Go ahead. Check us out, sign up for our newsletter and join the journey. Okay so today, our real talk topic is Grace over Grind. Let me just say this topic has been all up in my business for some time now. Seriously and the last year or so the theme has really been served as a constant reminder of the importance of keeping things in perspective. Why because I’ve been guilty of doing more grinding than operating in God’s grace. We all can agree that hustle or grind both have been very popular themes for decades now. Of course, it’s more prominent in the realm of business and entrepreneurship and some would argue that it is the hustle and grind mindset is what separates the haves and have nots. I think that it can be applied in any setting.. think about it. As we dive deeper and you get a clear understanding of what words are synonymous with hustle and grind. You’ll be able to look across areas of your life and say..yeah now that makes sense. Right the hustle and grind mindset is one that we can so easily get caught up in because it can also serve as motivation. Depending on your personality type..for those who are Type A, grinding is what you do. No, if and or buts about it. When you finish with one task, you’re off to the next. For others, you see the grinders and you think well dern. I’m motivated..I need to get my hustle/grind on. We see the expressions on t-shirts, coffee mugs, all over the internet, and social media is always encouraging us to hustle and grind. We can get knee-deep in the hustle of things and knee-deep in the grind of things that we lose perspective. Sometimes we can be so focused that we lose focus.… What do you think when you hear these phrases.. I’m on my grind Good things happen to those who hustle The dream is free. The hustle is sold separately “I’d rather hustle 24/7 than slave 9 to 5 Grind in silence and let your success make the noise Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. Then we have the faith-based versions. Wake. Pray. Slay Eat. Pray. Hustle Hustle for Jesus God. Goals. Grind. Most all of which, I’ve used myself. Lol! I’m not going to even lie to you. I can’t tell you how many times my response to a How you doing today…with just over here grinding. LOL! These phrases are all catchy, trendy, they get you motivated, hyped up, and energized. Just saying them, I’m pumped and ready to go get it. RIGHT!!

So, I have a friend. Our friendship expands over almost 15 years ago. We met after I left the military at Fort Campbell. He is a retired veteran. I’m talking old school veteran. In the days when you settled disagreements outside around that back. So, I often referred to him as old school because he that’s who he was. So needless to say, we had some interesting conversations. He had some opinionated world views and so did I. We talked about everything, from politics, race, culture, religion, marriage, and the list could go on and on. As it often did when, especially when we’d pull 10hr days and sometimes our conversations would get heated, I mean real heated..and I can hear him now…now, now Marsha and I’d say…you know what old man…I can’t…I can’t, I’m done…I’m done... and then we’d laugh. People thought we were out of control. LOL.. He was very stuck in his ways and no matter how out there that thought or comment was…He stood by it. I’ll never forget his strong viewpoints on holidays, he wasn’t a fan. Craziness. Most working adults, really enjoy holidays if for nothing more than the fact that you get that day off. Oh boy, did he really dislike the nonholidays that people celebrate for no reason those are his words, not mine? LOL. You want to get up under his skin, give him some candy on Valentine’s day. You know how coworkers celebrate.. sometimes you walk in a you find a cute little heart of chocolate on your desk…LOL!! He hated! He called it foolery!! If you placed candy on his desk for any holiday..he was giving it away.. he wanted you to know that he wasn’t down. He’d say I don’t recognize that.. …he cracked me up. He had something to say for just about every holiday. He would call them meaningless and he'd say fool those holidays were established just to get your “your money” which isn’t entirely untrue for some the meaning behind the holiday is long gone. Tomorrow is Valentine’s day and I’m sure my dear friend is holding true to his stance that Valentine’s day is just another meaningless day. Some would agree. Some would say I love Valentine’s day for others..I hate it. Valentine’s day can represent a day of mental distress for a lot of folks as it reminds them of what they don’t have. Many people go through a series of emotional setbacks around this time of the year. Married or single.. Those who are not in a relationship are involuntarily forced into thinking why they are alone. Those in an unhappy relationship… this day and it's meaning close in as they wonder what went wrong. The phrase…What is love was the most searched google phrase leading up to Valentine’s day? Now we would assume that most people know and understand what love is. Right. I honestly thought the most searched phrase would have been anything but…perhaps gifts ideas, recipes, restaurants but What is love? So, my normal flow would have been to give a definition but I’m not going there today. I guarantee you if asked I’m sure we’d all have similar and different responses to the question. The meaning of love can vary from person to person and culture to culture.

Several weeks ago, along with another ministry leader, I had the amazing opportunity to teach an amazing group of women at our monthly Winning Women meeting to kick off our Real Talk sessions. We did a skit centered around Mary and Martha in Luke 10:38-42. Martha’s preoccupation with worrying about preparations of their home, what others would think, and she ultimately misses the opportunity to listen and learn from the direct wisdom of Jesus. Now Mary wasn’t about that life. She was buying in to none of the above, she wasn’t about that worry life in the moment. She was tuned in, connected and focused on being in the presence of Jesus. Of course, we gave it a 2020 spin, talk about funny..ya’ll it was so funny. I had a ball, I was over the top and for me, I wanted to showcase some of the emotional challenges that women go through when we worry.. not the pretty stuff…. I’m talking about the way you act behind closed doors..that chic…the stressed-out chic, the overwhelmed chic,..the chic with the spirit of doing too much …when we buy into the cultural and societal norms of trying to be superwomen… or even when we find ourselves performing to get God’s favor…what were they do that at or even when we perform to get man’s favor…. Yep, I went there. We wanted to shed light on that experience.. So we had a great time. Listen..and the Oscar goes to..When, I tell you I got caught up in character..LOL…oh, I did. We both did and in the end, we realized that 95 percent of what was said wasn’t on the paper because the Holy Spirit had step in as we’d asked and ignited conversations to change the culture. The beauty of it all was that transparency on display. Oh, neither Mary or Martha’s disposition was unfamiliar to either one of us. I can admit that I’ve had more Martha moments than Mary… As I was praying about the topic of this episode, I listened attentively to God for direction. He spoke, yall. Everywhere I turned this was the topic of conversation is some shape of form; in the books I read, the conversations I’d had with other women, mentioned several times in a conference I attended, on tv…that night. I hear you, Lord! LOL!! Today’s Real talk topic is on anxiety; worry. An estimated 264 million people worldwide have an anxiety disorder. 31.1% of U.S. adults experience any anxiety disorder at some time in their lives. Did you know that women are twice as likely to experience anxiety and depression than man which can start as early as puberty. If you find yourself experiencing signs and symptoms related to anxiety or depression that interrupt your peace, interrupt joy, interrupt your life in any way, get help. Finds someone to talk. Anxiety and stress affect us mentally and physically and can result in a heart attack. No doubt, occasional anxiety is an expected part of life. Everyone will experience from time to time. This is not about making light of anxiety, anxiety disorder, depression…this is about awareness..it is critical that you recognize when you need to get professional help and not let embarrassment or denial prevent us from doing so. The Anxiety and Depression Association of America is a great resource to get the 411 on anxiety and depression.

Welcome to the She Shift Podcast. Today we have with us a blessing to the kingdom, the world, the earth. She Shifted let’s welcome Talisha Telsee. I want to take this opportunity to thank you for being with us today. Thank you for making yourself available to me. I remember when I first started this journey to become a clinician, you answered all of my questions. Tell the Shifted Family a little bit about you? Here you can share who you are, what you do, and why you do it. Please include the "simple life", empowering others to discover their strengths and own it as well as the gems you learned along your journey. Summarize myths and truths about mental health by saying something like "mental health wellness is for everyone not just crazy people( for a lack of a better term). It's not about playing mind games but rather equipping people with the tools needed to successfully navigate life and truly live well Speaking of tools to navigate life and truly live well. I'd like to jump into the real talk topic which is setting healthy boundaries. Boundaries or setting boundaries have gotten a bad rap. I think it's safe to say that personal boundaries play a role in further defining one's identity. Share what a boundary is and then shed light on why setting boundaries are important. In other words..boundaries establish what is for me, what I value, am good at, belief, ready for, need or feel and what is not for me, not good for me, what I am not ready for. Wow! So when we don't have boundaries, we overextend ourselves mentally, physically, and emotionally. What are some examples of where we can be overextended mentally, physically and emotionally and what that might look like. Healthy boundaries should be a part of all of our life domains. You mentioned boundaries in marriage. I remember when I first transition from work, the love of my life would schedule deliveries without asking me..which meant I had to be home. I thought, No sir, ha!! Now, for some, that may seem small. It's really not that serious but for the new season that I was in at that time. My time was important to me. So, I said sweetie, I love you. Please don't schedule anything for me without checking with me first. That was a healthy boundary for us. If I said nothing. Resentment, frustration, anger could have been a response and could have impacted our relationship negatively. I've learned to express what I need and what's good for me and what's not in personally, with family and with friends. Talk about the negative impact of not having boundaries and what that has meant to you personally.

Hey hey. Happy New year! Can you believe we’re in 2020?!!! 2020! Wow!! It’s been a while since we chatted, pray that you had an amazing Thanksgiving, Christmas, yeah, I am going all the way back there! Yes, ma’am yeah. With the new year comes goal setting for the new year. Goals for 2020! Who’s committing to living healthier this year? Eating healthier, exercising, drinking more water. Changing your eating habits, exercising, and drinking more water translates to healthier living. #goals. Maybe you’ve set some career goals that include applying for promotions, taking on more responsibility, leading that project. Educational goals, signing up for your first class, you go girl!! Completing that last course requirement and you’ve completed that degree. I see you!! Some of us are have established some new financial goals like setting and sticking to a budget, increasing savings, taking the steps to become debt-free. Becoming debt-free is about more than just paying off debt, it’s about discovering freedom, flexibility, and control over your life, your finances and your future. What would you could you do with that freedom! Think about it! Let that motivate you. Goals for your business, putting yourself out there. Whatever it is…Listen Change is in the air!!I love it! New year. New vision. Purpose. Intentionality. Progress. Let’s get it! We’re committing to.. out with the old that didn’t work. Pledging to the new ways of thinking and new ways of doing.. moving forward. In other words, most of us have geared up for transition or change in 2020. I talk a lot about change and transition. I found a very interesting explanation of the difference between transition and change that I want to share. I did a lot of reading during the break. LOL! Make that a goal. Read something and not talking about something on Facebook. Pick up a book. Any whoo.. Linda Rossetti, author of Women and Transition share an approach that caused me to say uuumm. She suggested that changes are driven to reach a goal, whereas transition starts with letting go of what no longer fits or is adequate to the life stage you are in. Ummm. Say it again.. Changes are driven to reach a goal, whereas transition starts with letting go of what no longer fits or is adequate to the life stage you are in. That explanation of transition and change caused me to look at and better define my goals. There will be actions/behaviors we will have to change in order to reach our goals. There will be things, people, places, and mindsets, that we will have to let go of because they no longer fit where you currently are or where you’re going. I shared at the start of our journey and I’ll say it again now that we’re in a new year. Change and transition are scary, difficult, it’s challenging, it’s uncomfortable. There will be highs and lows. There will be a moment of stress and anxiety and it’s in those moments we must hold on to faith. Hold on my sister, hold on my friend. It’s in those moments where you must have faith where you do yet have the facts.

Write it on my heart. Recorded Live

Today our Real Talk topic is on self-worth. I realize that the time we share isn’t going to give this topic the attention it needs. God never meant for us to focus on whether we are “enough” whether we measure up. He fashioned every detail of us to be just as he IS. So why do we.. A couple of years ago, I started experiencing pains in eyes as well as having headaches on a daily basis. My husband would say. Described the pain. I’d say.. my eyeballs actually hurt. So, Me being a google M.D. I concluded that perhaps it was too much screen time. I worked 9 hours on the computer and my free time included reading books on you guested it..either my iPhone or iPad. So we were looking at about 12 to 15 hours or more of screen time. So, went back to actually printed books. Then all of sudden the pain and the headache got worst and found myself coming home taking over the counter medication and going to bed. The hubby said you might want to go to get an eye exam. Ya’ll I was in denial, ha! Of course, it got worst although I was confident in my self-diagnosis. I thought why not what could it hurt? So I made an appointment with an optometrist. At the start of the exam, the optometrist asked if I’d ever worn glasses? I said no, I’m the only female in the family that does not wear glasses and I would like it to remain that way. (Laugh). After a comprehensive exam, the doctor said are you sure that don’t wear glasses? No, but should I be? YES! Oop!! Really? Yall I was in denial so much so that I got a second opinion after our visit. I ain’t right. Laugh!! But while sitting in the waiting room and a beautiful woman and her daughter walk in. We’re looking at each other and finally, she says, I know you. Now, of course, it isn’t uncommon to run into someone from a different duty station that the life of the military. I’ve been in the mall and ran into people that I attended high school with in Germany. So, we start naming off duty stations that we’ve been stationed at. And she says no that’s not it. NO that’s not it. No, never stationed there. I never forget a face and I know you from somewhere. Did you attend Carol High school in Ozark Alabama? What. I thought what in the world!! Yes, I did, gurl that was WOW, decades ago and I was only there for a year. That is it, that’s where I know from.. did you date and she named that guy. I thought WOW!! Girl, you took me back. Jesus take the wheel. LOL…We going all the way back. Oh Lord, Yes, I did in the 9thgrade. You really don’t forget a face! We laughed, exchanged numbers and have been connected ever since. She is my friend, my hairstylist; and when we get together we cut up.

Thank you so much for tuning into the She Shifted podcast. Today, our real talk topic is fear. I am energized by the faith over fear moment. Empowered by the fearless movement so I want us to keep the momentum going as we take a closer look and unpack fear. You know, I remember when the Lord called me on the carpet about my fear. I was having one of my moments and He said … you really don’t trust me with every area of your life. Me, slightly offended. My response was well of course I do. He was reading my mail, yall and He began to show me those areas that I really didn’t. Immediately I realized I was guilty of giving faith some good ole lip service. I’d respond out of my emotions and my behavior didn’t always line up. Recently, I polled a group of women and asked what are you fearful about? Of course, I got some super saved answers, which I can appreciate. Most responded with fear of failure, sickness, losing a loved one, the fear of what the future holds; will I ever get married, will have every have children, The fear of being alone, you can be married and still be alone. It takes a lot of courage to be transparent and acknowledge those areas where we experience fear. The sooner we address the truth about our fears, the sooner we can allow God in to redeem them. So, ladies thank you. The reality is many suffer in silence because of fear. Where fear is leading, we will always have a hard time trusting God in that every area of our lives. Fear will hold us back from challenges that could benefit us and promote personal growth. Why because fear can be paralyzing, it will rob us of our peace, our joy, damage our relationships and it hinders our faith. Fear is a bully, an oppressor that will hijack your future. Okay, I’m getting down off my soapbox now…. So after that divine slide show, I had to acknowledge and examine my truth so I pray that this episode will help you examine you truth as well. First, let’s examine the definition of what fear is. Fear is a strong emotional reaction to imminent danger – real or imagined, rational or irrational, normal or abnormal. Most of us can agree that our dance with fear can be on smaller scales but what happens is our body and brain can still treat the threat as lethal and can trigger the freeze, fight or flight, fright response. You know me, I’m all about addressing our emotions and our actions. Fear is an emotion and our response or action is We Freeze -stop what we’re doing and focus on the fearful stimulus to decide what to do next (e.g., you read a memo that your company will be laying off people). Next, you choose either fight or flight. I’m I going to fight this thing; deal with the threat head-on or I’m I going to work around it. However, when the fear is so great that is when you experience fright: which means you do nothing. You don’t fight or flee;— you take no action. You might worry about it, complain about it but don’t really do anything about it. Being in a continuous state of fright can lead to hopelessness, anxiety, and depression. Think about a time when fear was evident in your situation…how did you navigate through it..are you still navigating through it?

Thank you so much for tuning into the SheShifted Podcast. I’m really excited about today’s topic. Today we’re unpacking rejection. Why are you excited about that. Anytime I get to share truth and push back darkness. I’m excited. Rejection is something, we’re all familiar with. I don’t care who you are; how old you are, what color your skin is. Rich or poor. Attractive or unattractive, fat or skinny. Tall or short. A believer or not. Grew up on the right side of the track or the wrong. It really doesn’t matter. We’ve all experience it at some point in our lives. It could have occurred during childhood, from a parent, or sibling. Someone withholding love, withholding praise. Never quite feeling valued, appreciated, respected, love or wanted. A spouse, friends, teacher, a stranger. We can all scan our live and we’ll find that we’ve all had moments where found ourselves in a position of feeling unwanted, devalued, unaccepted, casted away, dismissed, disregard and nothing reeks havocs on the heart like rejection. You don’t age out of experiencing rejection. I have conversation with women in their 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50 all who have shared moments some recent moments of feeling unwanted or devalued. Today, we intent to disarm the enemy and no long will he successfully use rejection against us. We going to have a real conversation about rejection. Rejection is the most common emotional wound we sustain in our daily lives. It used to be that it only occurred in your small circle. Nowadays, thanks to the advancement in technology, www.; social media platforms and because we have the ability to communicate within seconds. We can find ourselves connected and disconnected to people in an instant. Ignored our post, ignored your baby pictures, ignore our chats, our texts. Then there are the events that occurred where you weren’t invited, leaving you feeling exclude rather than included; again leaving us feeling rejected, left out, because of it. I know you many of you are thinking..it’s not that serious for me. I get it and maybe that’s not the area that stings the most for you. I commend you if it’s not. Awareness is the key and truthfully, often times we’re unaware that it actually is a feeling of rejection masked as something else. We don’t see our own blind spots. The beauty of self-awareness is it requires you to look inward rather than outward and that is the only way to get a understand of what is truly at the core. Whether the rejection is experienced on a small scale or a large scale. It always hurts and it usually hurts more than we expect it to. Bear with me, today I want to encourage you to take a deep dive with me. Many years ago, my husband after returning from a second tour in Iraq and spending a little time at home received orders to relocated to Korea. Now, we’ve just settled into a new home that we’d just purchased. Listen, I’m still unpacking boxes, decorating and removing stickers off of the furniture. I’d just settle into a new home, and school was starting soon for our son. Honestly, I felt like this just wasn’t good timing for anyone to be going anywhere. Like, the Army really asked me what I thought. Of course, having been a soldier, I totally got that mission drives movement but it’s never easy or fun saying good bye. So, we agreed that he would go for a one-year tour and that the family would stay behind. Within a week of him getting on the ground in Korea, we decided that it was important for our family to be together. Now this was unusually for me because I am a soldier at heart and resiliency is my mind name. I’d endured the hardship of being without my spouse because this was his 3rd time in Korea and I was prepared to do it again. Oh,but this time things were different. I’d asked God to work on me and man had He’d responded. Psalms 34:18; the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirt. Be ready for what you ask for.

Today we’re talking about getting out of your own way. Truth is it’s not always easy to do. We take in so much from ourselves, our families, our friends, television; every news outlet has an opinion, the joys of tiny living, what about those kids that cook gourmet meals in 30 minutes; and then there are the covers of these magazines in the grocery stores; polished look on a shoestring budget. Define polished, I’m just saying .HAHA! Your idea and mine might be totally different. The dangers of boiled eggs..so now boiled eggs are dangerous? One minute coffee is good for you.. other minutes it is not. It can be too much. So much information, so much to process and I don’t know about you but there comes a time when I just want to press the pause button of life; if there were such a thing. Speaking of the pause button of life. The other day I was thinking about my grandmother. An amazing woman, who didn’t have much but loved others hard with all she had. My grandmother and I had a very close relationship. I lived with her until I was 11 and I felt like I was her favorite until I realized she made every one of her grands and great grands feel like they were her favorites. She was amazing like that. She had some of the softest cheeks. Oh my goodness. Her cheeks were crazy soft. If you can imagine what a cloud could feel like. I mean one of those velveted, full, fluffy, clouds..that’s what my grandmother's cheeks felt like. As I was reflecting on my Grandmother and her cheeks, I thought about her pause button moments. If you ask any member of my members when did our grandmother stop everything? When did she push pause? We’d all say around 5:00 pm after the evening news when she would tune into Family Feud, Wheel of Fortune, and Jeopardy. In most cases, she didn’t take phone calls during that time and if she did, she was very brief. She loved her games shows. She was actively engaged in her games shows. She would tell the contestants when they were right or wrong. She would talk to Pat, Vania, and Alex like she was right there with them. We all understood. Don’t call her, conversations and bathroom breaks were reserved for commercials. She was serious about her games shows. I realize I am very much her. I don’t think, I on the same level as my granny but let just say I’m thankful for the pause button and the ability to DVR Family Feud. I love family feud. Shout out to Steve Harvey. Steve has done a great job reinventing the show. I truly enjoy watching the show. It going to be a good one today folks, I love it! Family Feud is on my bucket list. I am going on the show and I have been secretly interviewing family members for the last 8 years.

411 on Negative Faith Today we’re talking about Negative faith…what is it? Negative faith..it just doesn’t sound right to me. Does it sound right to you? To use Negative with word faith. To me, the two aren’t meant to go together. Think about it. Negative connected to faith? Um .so I google the synonym for negative. Five columns of words. On the list were words like weak, unfavorable, anti, disallowing, opposing, rejecting and again I’m thinking this just doesn’t make sense to use negative with faith. Faith is the opposite right. There were five columns of words for faith. Faith is trust complete trust. Belief, confidence, conviction, credence, certainty, reliance, dependence, truth..um um My husband and I have been married for 20 years now. When I look back, we had a lot of learning to do over the course of our marriage. We married in our late twenties but as soldiers we were also married to the military. This meant we faced very different challenges them most newlyweds. In learning each other, I realized that we had very different ideas about a lot of things. Like, I didn’t realize how my hubby and I had different ideas on what Saturday morning clean up looked like until I pulled out the vacuum at 9 am on our first Saturday morning together and he came out..with that what in the world is going on look on his face. HA! HA!. These small differences became the topic of many of our discussions and disagreements as well. It was the small things. We’re still talking about negative faith. Some of our interesting moments was his time in the kitchen. Kudos to the husbands who cook! Well when he started out cooking, I could expect something interestingly delicious. LOL!! His way of doing things meant every cabinet open with most of the herbs and spices on the counter top readily available. Didn’t mean that he was planning to use them all but just in case. One day, he’s preparing a meal. We had a chicken, veggies, and a side dish. I walked in the kitchen and saw an opened can of fruit cocktail but the contents were nowhere to be found initially. To my surprise, the fruit cocktail had made its’ way into a pot on the stove in with candied yams.. I said to my husband, these two do not go with one another. To me, together they just don’t go well together. Where did you come up with this..He response was just trying somethings new out. Betty Crocker had to start somewhere!! Really, okay I’ll give you that one.. SO when I think about Negative. Faith. I think about that candied yams and fruit cocktail dish. It really seems like an oxymoron to me. Funny enough, my hubby’s candied sweet potatoes dish is actually a thing and so is negative faith. We do it all the time. Speaking and thinking things that align with negative faith without a second thought can become common place if we’re not careful. Have you ever said in one breathe, God said…, I trust God, I believe God, and in the another breathe, I can’t do this, I don’t know about this, this is not going to work, what was I thinking. I have. Until one day the Holy Spirit said..Stop it! You can’t have it both ways. As I continued through the synonyms for negative, one stopped me in my tracks.. counteractive, WOW! Counteractive which means to act in opposition of which is exactly what we do. Negative faith is in opposition to faith; our thought patterns, belief, trust, confidence and even our speech. So me saying, I can’t do it, it will never happen, I will never be happy is speaking or responding in opposition to faith. Yes ma’am. We think in opposition of faith; we worry, doubt, allow unbelief and fears to direct our thoughts, speech and in some cases our paths. Worry is faith in the negative.. ouch. Trust in the unpleasant, confidence in disaster and belief in defeat...and that’s all taking place internally. WOW. Sometimes you have to say it out loud to really grab a hold of it. Have you ever tried to inventory some of your thought? Ser

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