The Rob Arthur Podcast

Just wanted to give you all a heads up, I'm going to be stepping away from this podcast, at least for now. I will still be writing daily, and I'll be sharing that on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, Reddit, and Substack. I'll have a link to my Substack in the podcast description, and I'm "therobarthur" on all the channels I just mentioned. Thank you so much for all your support. It's meant more to me than you could ever know. You've got this.

We often assign stories to what's going on around us. These stories can have elaborate introductions, conclusions, and messages. Rarely, though, do we ask ourselves if these stories are helpful or even accurate. Take a minute and take a deep breath. What's actually happening? You've got this.

Allowing others to open up to us can be a powerful tool for exchanging the gift of connection. So often, though, we're too focused on responding, controlling, or judging for any connection to form. We do this not only with others but also ourselves. What if we simply listened? You've got this.

We often get stuck in patterns of problem solving. No matter what comes our way, we feel the need to do something. Sometimes, though, there's nothing for us to do. Life isn't always a problem to be solved. It's often only a mystery to be lived. All we can do then is live it. You've got this.

Holding compassion for those we see as malicious, selfish, or otherwise unworthy may not feel right. Such characteristics, however, are often rooted in deep suffering or fear. Those we see as least worthy of compassion are often those who need it most. This includes ourselves. You've got this.

Our thoughts make wonderful servants. They can be invaluable for reflection, forethought, and contemplation. When we accept them without question, though, we allow them to act as our masters. They can drive us to rumination, worry, and obstinance. Let your thoughts serve you. You've got this.

Focusing solely on our shortcomings often keeps us feeling too unworthy of self-improvement to ever start pursuing it. Even if we manage to improve outwardly, the skill we may have been practicing the most is feeling inadequate. You'll never hate yourself into loving yourself. You've got this.

Striving for perfection is a futile effort. You've always made mistakes and you always will. Rather than carry the burden of a reality you refuse to accept, face those mistakes with kindness and compassion. Learn from them, then let them go. Make peace with your imperfection. You've got this.

There's a popular question for clarifying what efforts we might pursue: What would you do if you knew you would succeed? Such a question, however, risks overlooking those efforts so inherently worthy that the outcome is irrelevant. What would you do if you knew you would fail? You've got this.

Our words and actions may not always reflect our thoughts, feelings, and desires. Others may make hasty, inaccurate conclusions about the nature of our character. We may even doubt ourselves at times. Keep working to align your life with your intentions. Trust who you are. You've got this.

We often treat ourselves in ways we'd never treat others. Harsh criticism, derision, and neglect, however, can affect us all the same. Whatever our shortcomings, we can approach them with kindness and compassion. How would you treat a dear friend? You are worthy of the same. You've got this.

It can be tempting to totally quit when we start to see that an effort is no longer sustainable. We often fail to consider, however, all that might lie between continuing as we are and giving up. Pause, breathe, and open your mind and your heart. Is quitting the only option? You've got this.

Labels can play a useful role in communication. When we label ourselves, however, we risk associating our labels with our identities. These labels then often serve only to separate and isolate us, when we crave love and connection. How are the labels you've chosen serving you? You've got this.

Self-reflection can help us identify our shortcomings and work to improve upon them. Harsh self-criticism, however, often only makes us miserable, ultimately hindering our growth or progress. Imperfection, mistakes, and failure are inevitable. Beating yourself up is optional. You've got this.

Some of our pain is unavoidable. It's the misfortune, failure, and disappointment we all inevitably encounter. Much of our pain, however, is unnecessary and self-imposed. It's the rumination, grief, and shame we carry with us past their utility. What pain can you let go? You've got this.

We can squander our entire lives putting ourselves last in a futile effort to make others happy. Others' happiness, however, is not our responsibility. It has infinitely more to do with them than with us. Consider others as you navigate life, of course. Don't forget yourself. You've got this.

We generally know when we need food, water, or shelter. When we need them, we seek them out. It can be harder to tell when we need love, belonging, or safety. When we need them, we often numb, distract, or isolate ourselves or turn to greed, anger, or fear. What do you need? You've got this.

We let so many trivialities we tell ourselves we should do get in the way of the essentials we want or need to do. Neglecting these essentials erodes the foundation of our inner peace and contentedness. Let go of and leave behind what's trivial. Take care of what's essential. You've got this.

It's tempting to withdraw unreciprocated kindness. A gift given with expectations, however, is more like a contract. The beauty of kindness is its unconditionality. What goes around might not come back around. We can only contribute to what goes around. Contribute kindness. You've got this.

Your past has shaped your present. You can't do anything about that. Your past does not define your future. It might not be completely within your control. You might be constrained by present circumstances. All you can ever do is do what you can. You can always do that. You've got this.

We often forget we account for only a fraction of a greater whole. That whole is far from perfect, comprising countless imperfect but interdependent parts. Together, though, we stand a chance. Share your strengths and your love. Encourage others to do the same. We need you. You've got this.

Hurting ourselves or others is often a reaction to all the ways we've already been hurt. The inner wounds driving this cycle can be the most difficult to heal. Without first seeing and accepting our pain, however, that healing is unlikely. What's the hurt behind your hurting? You've got this.

We can reflect on moments past, but we can never relive them. The only moment we can live is this moment. We can anticipate moments to come, but we can never guarantee them. The only moment we can guarantee is this moment. This is the most important moment of your life. You've got this.

Our minds have ways of making mountains out of molehills. We often place ourselves in unnecessarily harsh worlds with little basis in reality. Create space, take a deep breath, and be still. See, hear, and feel what's happening around you. Focus on what is, not what might be. You've got this.

Sometimes we feel like there's so much we "could" or "should" do that we end up doing nothing at all. Then, even if we do manage to start doing something, we often beat ourselves up the entire time. You can't do everything all at once. Take one step, right here, right now. You've got this.

A kind word, a helping hand, or a warm smile is often all it takes to deeply touch someone who's struggling. We each carry an unlimited supply of such gifts of kindness. Why not give them freely? You'll never know how many lives you touch. You've got this.

Rarely do any of us excel without struggling first. Why deprive yourself of a worthy challenge? You may or may not succeed. That's okay. Showing up, doing the work, and seeing what you're made of can be satisfying on its own. There's satisfaction in a good struggle. You've got this.

Our circumstances don't always improve. They sometimes even continue to decline indefinitely. This doesn't mean, however, all hope is lost. We can become stronger. Can we become strong enough? Perhaps not. What we can do, though, is do what we can. We can always do that. You've got this.

We often take others' word for what a great life looks like. When we do this without question or reflection, we risk betraying our own values in pursuit of somebody else's. We end up finding not happiness, but emptiness. You decide what a great life looks like to you. You've got this.

Some factors we can control. Others are completely out of our hands. Regardless, worry offers us no additional options. All we can do is do what we can. Learning, planning, and preparing may serve us well. Worry isn't worth our time. You've got this.

We often struggle to change habits that aren't serving us. Sometimes we've nobody to blame but ourselves. Rather than accept reality, we persist, telling ourselves things will be different, even when we see they haven't been and won't be. What reality are you not accepting? You've got this.

Sticking to decisions we immediately regret may not always be a big deal. That voice we hear, however, suggesting we reconsider, is often the sweet voice of our own hearts. If we ignore this voice long enough, we may eventually hear only silence. What's your heart telling you? You've got this.

Happiness isn't about life being perfect. It's seeing the world as it is, appreciating what we can, and working to make things better. That work will never be finished. Accepting this just might be what so many of us are missing. Happiness is making peace with imperfection. You've got this.

There's nothing wrong with wanting your life to be different than it is. When all we do, however, is spend our time thinking about how things should, would, or could be, we let life pass us by, doing everything but living it. You are where you are. What can you do from here? You've got this.

Others' opinions of us can be worthy of consideration and can influence our self-image. Changing others' minds without changing our own, however, will never fix our insecurities. What we think of ourselves matters most in this regard. Our insecurities reflect our own thoughts. You've got this.

We often carry our failures with us, as if they're permanent parts of who we are. While failure can bring irreversible consequences, we can nearly always learn from it and work to do better. There's hope in that work, no matter the outcome. Look for the hope in your failures. You've got this.

You might know what you want and be working toward it. If you're unsure what you want, though, you might feel a bit lost or anxious. Even if you've eliminated a few "definitely not that" options, you might still feel the need to do something. What if you do nothing at all? You've got this.

The joy of achievement is often over in a mere instant. Our elation quickly fades as we move on to whatever's next. Over and over again, we inevitably feel the call of pursuit. It's the pursuit, however, not the achievement, that calls us. The pursuit is what fills our cups. You've got this.

We can put tremendous pressure on ourselves to reach our goals. This pressure so easily and so often spirals into feelings of failure. We forget how much effort, time, and patience change can require. It's okay to be on your way. How else do you get to where you want to go? You've got this.

Constraints often make life more difficult, but they also make life easier in some ways. For example, deadlines can help us set a pace, limited options can help us make decisions, and finite resources can help us know when to quit. How might you benefit from more constraints? You've got this.

Even the most seemingly insignificant moment is an orchestration of unfathomable time, energy, and chance. Still, a moment is only a moment - here, then gone so soon. Why squander any opportunity to revel in the beauty and serendipity of our experience? None of this will last. You've got this.

Even when we feel in control, it can be short-lived or merely a delusion. We don't realize there's often something else - perhaps love, connection, or belonging - behind our craving. Control can never fill a hole left by such as these. What's driving your desire for control? You've got this.

Seeing others as heroes might give us hope, help us see our own strengths, or inspire us to be more. We often end up, however, living vicariously through those heroes. Never applying what we see in them to our own lives, we leave our own potential unrealized. Be your own hero. You've got this.

Confidence often serves us quite well when rooted in a strong understanding of our own capabilities. Strengthening this understanding may involve some failure - finding and exceeding our limits. We can then build upon or expand those limits. Confidence can bloom from failure. You've got this.

There are days when we set out with high aspirations and fall completely short. It's tempting to throw in the towel on such days. Doing something, however, is often better than doing nothing at all. All we can do some days is check the box. That's enough and you're enough. You've got this.

Is our search for meaning precisely what's keeping us from finding it? Could we be meant only to live each moment as it is? Joy, pain, excitement, boredom - they're all parts of this brief experience. Eventually we all run out of moments. What if the meaning is the moment? You've got this.

Even in those rare moments of uncommitted time, it seems normal now to always look for something to do. How many sights, smells, and sensations are we letting go unnoticed? What hopes, dreams, and fears are we leaving unexplored? Is all this doing depriving us of simply being? You've got this.

Optimism may offer hope but might also open the door for disappointment. Pessimism may hedge against disappointment but might also sap life of hope. You don't have to choose optimism or pessimism. Hope for the best. Acknowledge the possibility of the worst. Expect neither. You've got this.

There might be days when you feel like you can't do anything right. That may or may not be true. Regardless, much of life is totally out of our control, including countless factors affecting the outcomes of our efforts. All we can ever do is do what we can. Keep showing up. You've got this.

Holding ourselves to high standards might help us work toward becoming who we want to be. Harsh self-criticism, however, often causes more misery than any satisfaction we might get from our efforts. Self-criticism doesn't have to be so harsh. You can criticize with kindness. You've got this.

Responding to the words or actions of those around us can be a worthy effort. Our responses, however, are often unnecessary, or worse, careless reactions that do more harm than good. Just letting it go is an option many of us rarely consider. You don't always have to respond. You've got this.