His and His

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Join creative couple Matthew and Paul as they explore provocative questions about love, relationships, and culture. Support His and His on Patreon and get weekly extended episodes, a monthly bonus episode, and more! More info at: http://Patreon.com/hisandhis

Matthew and Paul


    • Apr 28, 2023 LATEST EPISODE
    • every other week NEW EPISODES
    • 22m AVG DURATION
    • 161 EPISODES

    4.9 from 369 ratings Listeners of His and His that love the show mention: matthew, look forward to monday, tik tok, tiktok, 5 out of 5, paul, heartwarming, openness, platforms, gay, adorable, fell in love, love the stories, escape, page, chatting, social media, bed, smile, patreon.



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    Latest episodes from His and His

    160: The Next Chapter

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 28, 2023 8:51


    Matthew and Paul have a big announcement about the future of His and His. After 3 years of weekly audio podcasts, Matthew and Paul are turning their attention to a YouTube channel that will feature their classic banter, insightful commentary, and hilarious storytelling. Each episode will include extended video content for the His and His Family on Patreon. Subscribe to Matthew and Paul's YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@matthewandpaulofficial Unlock bonus content: Patreon.com/hisandhis

    159: Gay TV, Part 2: The Shows That Inspired Us

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 20, 2023 25:56


    In Part 2 of their discussion, Paul reveals how Dawson's Creek and Will & Grace (both of which premiered in 1998) not only blazed a trail for public perception of gay people, but inspired his own journey toward self-acceptance. Matthew (who had never seen either series) describes watching them for the first time with Paul. On the extended episode Matthew and Paul discuss a recent gay series they both loved (and, no, it wasn't Heartstopper). Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/80291205

    158: Gay TV: The Shows That Inspired Us

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 13, 2023 25:35


    Matthew and Paul discuss the fictional gay characters and television storylines that inspired them during their coming-out years. Matthew recalls discovering Luke and Noah on the daytime soap opera “As The World Turns”, and how that experience gave him a sense of hope for the future. On the extended episode Matthew discusses a foreign language soap opera that had a similar effect on his life. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/80291345

    157: Family Time

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 6, 2023 4:26


    Matthew and Paul are taking the week off to celebrate the birthday of Paul's brother, who died of a drug overdose last year. Thank you for your love and support. Support this podcast on Patreon: Patreon.com/hisnadhis

    156: Ask Us Anything: Penguins, Podcasting, and Past Mistakes

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 28, 2023 17:40


    Matthew and Paul answer listener-submitted questions about life, relationships, and past mistakes. Matthew reveals his desire to move to Canada, while Paul addresses the query, “Why penguins?” (If you know, you know.) On the extended episode Matthew and Paul describe the mistakes they would “undo” if given the chance. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/79306763

    155: Paul Goes to Prison UPDATE

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 20, 2023 24:33


    Paul shares the story of his arrest and detainment in a maximum security prison. Paul reveals the circumstances of his arrest, how it felt to stand before a judge with his wrists and ankles chained, and the internal struggle he experienced while being transported to the facility he would call home for the next 100 days. Stay tuned for an update from Paul at the end of the episode. Listen to Part 2 here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2suKom5UxbIKGygRl05fDs?si=6ce090dca69d4778 On the extended episode, Paul describes the fascinating and frightening intake process. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/78922060

    154: Silent Retreat: Priests and Peace

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 13, 2023 6:54


    On this bonus episode of His and His, Matthew describes his experiences while attending a silent retreat (that ultimately changed his life). Matthew then reveals he will be attending another retreat this weekend: Does he anticipate another life-changing experience? Listen to the entire episode here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/78649747

    153: Gay Movies: The Films That Inspired Us

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 6, 2023 25:07


    Matthew and Paul are discussing the first gay-themed movies they ever watched. Matthew describes discovering the film “Latter Days” while on a brief trip away from home (and out from under the watchful eyes of his church), while Paul recalls the “endurance challenge” of watching the gay comedy “In & Out” with his mom (and her boyfriend) when he was just 13 years old. On the extended episode Matthew and Paul describe the experience of rewatching “Latter Days” and “In & Out” as married gay men. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/78282462

    152: Ask Us Anything: Fights and First Dates

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 30, 2023 22:10


    Matthew and Paul are answering some of your most burning questions. “How did you meet?”, “How to get over a straight crush?”, “Who is the first to make up after a fight?” and more. On the extended episode, Paul answers the question “Do you get frustrated when you can't do something (because of your blindness)?” Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/77830290

    151: Gay Theatre: Performances That Inspired Us

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 23, 2023 25:34


    Matthew and Paul are discussing the gay-themed stage performances that inspired, awakened, and terrified them at pivotal moments in their childhoods. Matthew describes seeing male ballet dancers for the first time, while Paul talks about attending a play featuring a same-sex kiss. On the extended episode Matthew and Paul discuss a recent gay theater experience that left them both in tears. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/77642014

    150: Our Foster Care Journey (So Far)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 16, 2023 9:19


    Matthew and Paul discuss their foster care journey which began one year ago. Matthew describes a recent conversation with a friend who grew up in the foster care system, while Paul explains what it was like to have dinner with a foster family over the Christmas break. Finally, Matthew reveals how his career as a music teacher has given him insights into the world of kids and parenting. Listen to the full bonus episode here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/77293175

    149: The Paul Castle Project: Life Before Diagnosis

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 9, 2023 11:29


    In this, Part 2 of The Paul Castle Project, Paul describes the “8 awkward years” between the first signs of blindness at age 8 and his final diagnosis at age 16. From failing at sports, to random embarrassing moments (like jumping into a strangers car), Paul explains why he began to identify as “clumsy” without realizing that he saw the world differently than his peers. On the extended episode, Matthew and Paul dive deeper into those 8 awakes years. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/76983850

    148: Gay and Interabled: How Disability Shapes Our Relationship REVISITED

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 2, 2023 22:29


    Matthew and Paul are talking about their lives as an interabled couples. Paul explains how his visual impairment affected his dating experience, while Matthew explains his initial thoughts and concerns upon meeting Paul. Matthew and Paul also describe ways in which being disabled both hinders and helps their relationship in unique ways. On the extended episode, Matthew and Paul reflect on some of the more humor moments born out of being interabled. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/76660903

    147: What Did 2022 Teach Us?

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 27, 2022 6:56


    Matthew and Paul are wishing you a Happy New Year, as well as taking a look back to answer the question: What did 2022 teach us? Unlock extended episodes: Patreon.com/hisandhis

    Dating and Sex Questions

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 19, 2022 21:13


    In Part 2 of their conversation, Matthew and Paul continue using the virtual deck of cards created by the Gottman Institute in order to deepen connection and improve intimacy. On the extended episode, Matthew and Paul open the Sex Questions cards. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/76084295

    Fight or Flight: How We Recover

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 12, 2022 16:34


    Matthew and Paul use a special deck of cards created by the Gottman Institute in order to deepen their connection and increase intimacy. On the extended episode Matthew and Paul answer questions from the “spicy” salsa cards. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/75811110

    Has Marriage Changed Our Relationship?

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 5, 2022 16:58


    As Matthew and Paul celebrate 3 years of marriage (and a total of 6 years together) they answer the question, “Has marriage changed our relationship?” On the extended episode Matthew and Paul reveal the regrets they have about their wedding day. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/75539403

    Our Wedding Day (Revisited)

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 29, 2022 27:12


    Matthew and Paul reflect on the day they became husbands. Matthew reveals the one thing that stressed him our the most, while Paul recounts a moment that left everyone in tears. At the end of the episode, Matthew and Paul offer an updated reflection, 3 years later! Unlock extended episodes here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/75236822

    Gay Books: Stories That Inspired Us

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 21, 2022 19:46


    Matthew and Paul are discussing the gay-themed books that inspired them during important life moments. Matthew talks about discovering the book “Call Me By Your Name” by Andre Aciman, while Paul explains why he fell in love with “A Home at the End of the World” by Michael Cunningham. On the extended episode, Matthew and Paul discuss the movie adaptations of their chosen books. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/74836201

    One Year With Mr. Maple

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 14, 2022 17:11


    Matthew and Paul celebrate one year with Paul's guide dog, Mr. Maple. Matthew describes his relationship with Paul's service animal, while Paul discusses the many positive changes Maple has made in his life. On the extended episode, Matthew and Paul reveal the results of Paul's latest gene therapy clinical trial. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/74622273

    Age Gaps: Silver Daddies and Super Twinks (Revisited)

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 7, 2022 24:06


    Matthew and Paul discuss relationship age gaps. Matthew reflects on his first LTR with an older man, which prompted him to start dating younger guys exclusively. Paul admits he's never been in a relationship with a younger guy, and once dated a man twice his age. Join Our Family Support His and His on Patreon and get monthly bonus episodes, weekly extended episodes, and more! More info: https://www.patreon.com/posts/74323394

    Paul Castle Project: The First Sign of Blindness

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 31, 2022 8:22


    Introducing a new brand new series chronically Paul's unique experience with a rare form of blindness. In this first episode Paul describes the very moment he knew something was wrong with his vision, and the reason he kept it a secret. On the extended episode Matthew joins Paul for a conversation about overcome fears. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/73945844

    138: A Cure is in Sight

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 24, 2022 10:23


    Matthew and Paul reflect on their trip to San Diego where Paul participated in the second stage of a gene therapy trial that may offer a treatment for Retinitis Pigmentosa. Paul describes the Human Maze and Matthew describes the experience from his perspective. Listen to the full episode here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/73690599

    137: Coming Out, Again…and Again and Again

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 17, 2022 31:20


    In honor of National Coming Out Day, Matthew and Paul share the stages of coming out as gay. From being called “gay”, to accepting their sexuality, to coming out and being outed — Matthew and Paul cover the many steps (and missteps) of the coming out journey. On the extended episode Matthew and Paul offer advice to listeners who are considering coming out. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/73393002

    135: HEARTSTOPPER Ep 7: Bully

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 10, 2022 40:15


    Matthew and Paul discuss the penultimate episode of Heartstopper, the gay coming of age series currently streaming on Netflix. Paul shares details about his own bullying experiences in public school, while Matthew shares stories inspired by the movie theater setting of this episode.  On the extended episode Matthew describes a bonus story about sex in a movie theater. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/72806814

    136: HEARTSTOPPER Ep 8: Boyfriend

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 10, 2022 36:52


    Matthew and Paul discuss the 8th and final episode of the gay Netflix series Heartstopper. Matthew describes the feeling of “disappearing” as a gay man in certain settings, while Paul relates to the experience of making up with a close friend (after a fight). Matthew and Paul get excited about the final scene with Olivia Coleman (as Nick's Mom). On the extended episode, Paul describes a coming out story that mirrors Nick's. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/73101233

    134: Changing Our Last Name

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 26, 2022 27:42


    Matthew and Paul discuss the history of changing surnames after marriage. Paul talks about different customs around the world, while Matthew describes what modern gay couples choose to do. Finally, Matthew and Paul reveal what they decided to do about their own last names. On the extended episode Matthew and Paul describe specific situations that made them want to share the same last name. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/72497836

    133: Gene Therapy Update: The Human Maze

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 19, 2022 5:50


    Matthew and Paul are taking the week off as they travel to San Diego for the next stage of Paul's gene therapy clinical trial. Paul will be walking through a human maze in order to assess his pre-surgery mobility. Stay tuned for more updates! Support this podcast on Patreon.com/hisandhis

    132: Ask Us Anything: Gay Dads and Grindr

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 12, 2022 24:27


    “Are you criticized for meeting on Grindr?”, “How do you plan to have kids?”, and “Do you pull pranks on each other?” Matthew and Paul answer these and other listener-submitted questions on this episode of His and His. On the extended episode, Paul opens up about the ways in which his vision loss affects his marriage. Paul also shares a few of the things he wishes he could do (but can't). Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/71845115

    131: HEARTSTOPPER Ep 6: Girls

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 6, 2022 42:06


    Matthew and Paul discuss episode 6 of the gay Netflix series Heartstopper. This recap inspires conversations about coming out, toxic allies, and showing affection in public. On the extended episode Paul shares a personal story about matchmaking gone wrong. Listen here:https://www.patreon.com/posts/71571418

    130: When Type A Marries Type B

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 29, 2022 10:58


    On this Bonus episode of His and His, Matthew and Paul discuss a treatment for Paul's blindness, the difference between Type A and Type B personalities, and whether they buy each other gifts on birthdays and special occasions. Listen to the entire episode here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/71180745

    A Message From Paul

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 24, 2022 2:05


    I am excited to announce the Kickstarter campaign for my new children's book, “The Secret Ingredient”, a story that celebrates LGBTQ families. You can learn more about the project and pre-order your own copy right now by tapping this link: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/pengrooms/the-pengrooms-book-2

    129: Paul's New LGBTQ Kids Book

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 22, 2022 24:14


    Matthew talks to Paul about his brand new children's book project, “The Secret Ingredient”, a whimsical story that celebrates LGBTQ families through the eyes of two adorable penguins….who just happen to be gay! Find out how you can “be part of something special” and help Paul bring this book to life by backing his Kickstarter campaign (and getting an early copy of the book!) Tap the link: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/pengrooms/the-pengrooms-book-2 On the extended episode Matthew and Paul discuss the inspiration for the book, and how the journey of The Pengrooms coincides with their own journey to become dads. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/70791362

    128: HEARTSTOPPER EP 5: Friends

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 15, 2022 36:44


    Matthew and Paul continue their episode-by-episode discussion of the gay Netflix series, Heartstopper. This episode of the series, titled “Friend”, inspires conversations about gay PDA, breaking up with girls, and the very important question of, “What was your favorite Monopoly piece?” On the extended episode Matthew and Paul discuss one of the most powerful scenes in the entire series. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/70521950

    127: Gay and Interabled: How Disability Shapes Our Relationship Revisited

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 8, 2022 24:27


    Matthew and Paul are talking about their lives as an interabled couples. Paul explains how his visual impairment affected his dating experience, while Matthew explains his initial thoughts and concerns upon meeting Paul. Matthew and Paul also describe ways in which being disabled both hinders and helps their relationship in unique ways. On the extended episode, Matthew and Paul reflect on some of the more humor moments born out of being interabled. Listen here https://www.patreon.com/posts/70209503

    126: Gay Conversion Therapy Revisited

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 1, 2022 25:18


    Paul interviews his husband, Matthew, about his experience in Gay Conversion Therapy. Matthew explains why he was sent to the Ex-Gay conference and how he felt walking into the room for the first time. On the extended episode, Matthew describes an encounter with one of the attendees, Jeremiah: https://www.patreon.com/posts/69772137

    125: HEARTSTOPPER EP 4: Secret

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 25, 2022 37:50


    Matthew and Paul are discussing episode 4 of Heartstopper, the LGBTQ+ series currently streaming on Netflix. This episodes inspires conversations about kissing in the rain, gay awakenings, and…legos? On the extended episode Paul describes the time he fell in love with a British boy who gave him a bloody nose. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/69553809

    124: HEARTSTOPPER EP 3: Kiss

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 18, 2022 33:36


    Matthew and Paul discuss episode 3 of Heartstopper, the gay coming-of-age series currently streaming on Netflix. Matthew relates to Nick's Google searching antics, while Paul likens his first same-sex kiss (at age 15) to that of Nick and Charlie's.

    123: Religion, Part 2: Crisis of Contradictions

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 11, 2022 15:24


    Matthew and Paul continue their discussion about faith and religion. Matthew describes the struggle of finding an accepting church after coming out as gay, while Paul recounts attending a church with a gay pastor shortly after he came out. Matthew and Paul both talk about their slow and sometimes painful decisions to step away from organized religion. On the extended episode Matthew and Paul discuss their present-day feelings about faith and religion. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/68890257 Remember to join our new Premium Access on the Apple and Spotify app to get episodes a full week in advance!

    122: Religion, Part 1: Do-Gooders and Dairy Queen

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 11, 2022 17:22


    Matthew and Paul discuss their exposure to church and religion during their childhood years. Matthew describes the fear instilled in him from the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, while Paul remembers how his mother taught him to rebuke the demons . Matthew and Paul both recall how homosexuality was negatively viewed in their church environments and how those views caused them to feel shame. On the extended episode Matthew and Paul share stories about gay encounters in the church. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/68889349 Remember to join our new Premium Access in the Apple and Spotify apps to get episodes a full week in advance!

    HEARTSTOPPER EP 2: Crush, Part 2

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 4, 2022 30:38


    Matthew and Paul conclude their discussion of Episode 2 of Heartstopper, the new gay romantic comedy currently streaming on Netflix. On the extended episode, Matthew and Paul cyber-stalk their straight crushes from childhood. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/68618621

    120: HEARTSTOPPER EP 2: Crush, Part 1

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 27, 2022 35:26


    Matthew and Paul are discussing the new gay romantic comedy “Heartstopper”, currently streaming on Netflix. Listen as Matthew and Paul talk about the show as well as personal stories inspired by scenes and characters from the LGBTQ series.  On the extended episode, Matthew and Paul share stories about their mothers. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/68252606

    119: Celebrating Pride: Leather Daddies and Unthinkable Depravity (Revisited)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 21, 2022 23:51


    Matthew and Paul are celebrating Pride by recounting their first Pride Parade memories. Matthew describes how he accidentally attended Pride shortly after coming out as gay, while Paul reminisces about the friendships that defined his college years in San Francisco. Matthew and Paul also explain what Pride means to them today.  On the extended episode, Matthew and Paul discuss their feelings about “Straight Pride” and whether it's something that should ever be celebrated. Listen to the extended episode here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/68044441

    118: HEARTSTOPPER EP 1: Meet, Part 2

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 13, 2022 24:10


    Matthew and Paul conclude their discussion of Episode 1 of Heartstopper, the new gay coming of age series starring Joe Locke and Kit Connor.  On the extended episode, Matthew and Paul reveal their favorite moments from the episode. Listen here https://www.patreon.com/posts/67694446

    joe locke
    117: HEARTSTOPPER: Meet, Part 1

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 6, 2022 31:36


    Matthew and Paul are discussing the new gay coming-of-age romantic comedy, Heartstopper. Created by Alice Oseman, the 8-part series depicts LGBTQ teens as they navigate high school, friendships, and first love. Matthew and Paul discuss the first episode as well as personal stories inspired by scenes and characters from the show.  Support this podcast on Patreon: Patreon.com/hiandhis

    116: Life Update: Bach and Bulges

    Play Episode Listen Later May 30, 2022 6:56


    On this Bonus episode of “His and His” Matthew talks about his recent live performance, while Paul describes how he and Mr. Maple worked behind-the-scenes. Matthew opens up about his cult experience alongside the famous Duggar family, and how their use of “code words” was something his family used as well. This sparks a discussion about code words used within a relationship, and the specific words Matthew and Paul use in public and in private. Tap here for the full conversation: https://www.patreon.com/posts/67067063

    115: Visual Artist: A Blind Man's Story

    Play Episode Listen Later May 24, 2022 29:01


    Matthew interviews Paul about his life as a visual artist…who also happens to be blind. Paul's love of visual storytelling began as soon as he could hold a crayon. At the age of six, Paul wrote and illustrated his first children's book, “The Sad Turtle”, by repurposing one of his older brother's hardback books. Paul's creativity evolved into a love of filmmaking, but at age 16 he was diagnosed with a rare form of blindness called Retinitis Pigmentosa. Despite this progressive and untreatable disease, Paul honed his love of visual arts and forged a career as an author and illustrator.  Order a copy of Paul's new children's book, “The Pengrooms” at paulcastlestudio.com Support this podcast on Patreon: Patreon.com/hisandhis

    114: Grief: From Denial to Acceptance

    Play Episode Listen Later May 16, 2022 29:18


    Matthew and Paul discuss the complex human experience of grief. What are the stages of grief and what does it mean to grieve? Paul shares his still-processing grief journey in the aftermath of his brother's death 3 months ago, including a surprising discovery he made while searching through old emails.  On the extended episode, Matthew takes us through the stages of grief while recalling his coming out experience and the resulting end of family relationships. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/66477570

    113: Cult Survivor: Matthew's Journey (Revisited)

    Play Episode Listen Later May 9, 2022 56:26


    In this supersided episode of His and His, Paul interviews Matthew about the decade he and his family spent trapped in a religious cult. From boyhood until his early twenties, Matthew belonged to a fanatical group called the Advanced Training Institute. Founded by the charismatic and often eccentric leader, Bill Gothard, ATI eventually accumulated thousands of devoted followers around the world.   In the first half, Matthew describes how he and his family fell into the cult and the many ways in which it took over their lives.   In the second half, Matthew describes leaving the isolated world of the cult and adjusting to the “real world” for the first time. What excited him? What scared him? And most importantly, how did he grow? Listen to the extended version of this episode here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/66177894

    112: Ask Us Anything: Instagram Edition

    Play Episode Listen Later May 2, 2022 24:16


    To celebrate 100K followers on Instagram, Matthew and Paul are answering questions submitted by listeners on social media. How did you find the courage to come out? Advice for allies of the LGBTQ community? Where did you get your sense of humor? Do you guys ever argue? Matthew and Paul answer these questions and more on this very special episode.  On the extended episode Matthew and Paul reveal something they love about each other…but have never admitted it out loud. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/65886073

    111: Don't Say Gay: Myths, Misnomers, and Misinformation

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 25, 2022 26:44


    Matthew and Paul discuss the “Don't Say Gay” bills currently sweeping the nation. Matthew describes the bill and dispels common myths, while Paul recalls being in the first grade learning about social justice and heteronormative culture (non of which turned him straight).  On the extended episode Paul discusses why he almost changed the name of his LGBTQ children's picture book to be “less gay”. Listen here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/65557727

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