Mothers On The Frontline

In this episode we discuss the policy frameworks and philosophical assumptions underneath current punitive systems including policing and schools. (We will continue this discussion next week and look at some promising new frameworks that are currently emerging that could move us beyond a paradigm of coercion and compliance.) Terminology: IEP - Individualized Education Plan - the document that determines the accommodations and supports for a particular student in special education. Ontology - theory of being, framework of what entities exist or how to categorize what exists.

In this episode we discuss the policy frameworks and philosophical assumptions underneath current punitive systems including policing and schools. (We will continue this discussion next week and look at some promising new frameworks that are currently emerging that could move us beyond a paradigm of coercion and compliance.) Terminology: IEP - Individualized Education Plan - the document that determines the accommodations and supports for a particular student in special education. Ontology - theory of being, framework of what entities exist or how to categorize what exists.

In this episode we discuss the policy frameworks and philosophical assumptions underneath current punitive systems including policing and schools. (We will continue this discussion next week and look at some promising new frameworks that are currently emerging that could move us beyond a paradigm of coercion and compliance.) Terminology: IEP - Individualized Education Plan - the document that determines the accommodations and supports for a particular student in special education. Ontology - theory of being, framework of what entities exist or how to categorize what exists.

In this episode we discuss: what it means to be an allythe difference between performative and authentic allyshiphow allyship differs from friendship and being a coalition partnerstigma jumping vs intersectional activism and advocacy Terms: Allyship - An active, consistent, and arduous practice of unlearning and re-evaluating, in which a person in a position of privilege and power seeks to operate in solidarity with a marginalized group and works to ensure equality, opportunity and inclusion for everyone. (Thank you to Sonya, Sophie, Gigi and Lilah - students in Dionne Bensonsmith's "Introduction to Feminism, Gender, and Sexuality" Class in the Fall 2019 at Scripps College - for this definition.) Intersectionality - A framework for understanding the interconnected nature of social categorizations such as race, class, and gender as they apply to a given individual or group, creating overlapping and interdependent systems of discrimination or disadvantage. (This term was coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw in 1989.) Stigma-Jumping - Avoiding association with potential allies or coalition partners to avoid their stigma being attached to your cause, organization or person. Stigma jumping is a barrier to intersectional activism and advocacy and therefore neglects the most vulnerable. (This term was coined by Tammy Nyden in 2017.) Resources: Allyship (Definitions): Rochester Racial Justice Toolkit “What is Allyship?”” Michelle Kim “Allyship (& Accomplice): The What, the Why, and the How” Seventeen Magazine “What is Performative Allyship?” Teaching Tolerance “Ally or Accomplice: The Language of Activism” On Privilege and Power University of San Francisco, Gleeson Library “White Privilege Resource Guide” How to be an Ally (start here and by all means, do not stop): The Anti-Oppression Network “Allyship” Amélie Lamont “Guide to Allyship” Jamie Utt  “So You Call Yourself an Ally: 10 Things All ‘Allies' Need to Know” Chris Scot Cole “3 Things Not To Do When Someone Discloses Their Invisible Disability”

In this episode we discuss: what it means to be an allythe difference between performative and authentic allyshiphow allyship differs from friendship and being a coalition partnerstigma jumping vs intersectional activism and advocacy Terms: Allyship - An active, consistent, and arduous practice of unlearning and re-evaluating, in which a person in a position of privilege and power seeks to operate in solidarity with a marginalized group and works to ensure equality, opportunity and inclusion for everyone. (Thank you to Sonya, Sophie, Gigi and Lilah - students in Dionne Bensonsmith's "Introduction to Feminism, Gender, and Sexuality" Class in the Fall 2019 at Scripps College - for this definition.) Intersectionality - A framework for understanding the interconnected nature of social categorizations such as race, class, and gender as they apply to a given individual or group, creating overlapping and interdependent systems of discrimination or disadvantage. (This term was coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw in 1989.) Stigma-Jumping - Avoiding association with potential allies or coalition partners to avoid their stigma being attached to your cause, organization or person. Stigma jumping is a barrier to intersectional activism and advocacy and therefore neglects the most vulnerable. (This term was coined by Tammy Nyden in 2017.) Resources: Allyship (Definitions): Rochester Racial Justice Toolkit “What is Allyship?”” Michelle Kim “Allyship (& Accomplice): The What, the Why, and the How” Seventeen Magazine “What is Performative Allyship?” Teaching Tolerance “Ally or Accomplice: The Language of Activism” On Privilege and Power University of San Francisco, Gleeson Library “White Privilege Resource Guide” How to be an Ally (start here and by all means, do not stop): The Anti-Oppression Network “Allyship” Amélie Lamont “Guide to Allyship” Jamie Utt  “So You Call Yourself an Ally: 10 Things All ‘Allies' Need to Know” Chris Scot Cole “3 Things Not To Do When Someone Discloses Their Invisible Disability”

In this episode we discuss: what it means to be an allythe difference between performative and authentic allyshiphow allyship differs from friendship and being a coalition partnerstigma jumping vs intersectional activism and advocacy Terms: Allyship - An active, consistent, and arduous practice of unlearning and re-evaluating, in which a person in a position of privilege and power seeks to operate in solidarity with a marginalized group and works to ensure equality, opportunity and inclusion for everyone. (Thank you to Sonya, Sophie, Gigi and Lilah - students in Dionne Bensonsmith's "Introduction to Feminism, Gender, and Sexuality" Class in Fall 2019 at Claremont Graduate School - for this definition.) Intersectionality - A framework for understanding the interconnected nature of social categorizations such as race, class, and gender as they apply to a given individual or group, creating overlapping and interdependent systems of discrimination or disadvantage. (This term was coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw in 1989.) Stigma-Jumping - Avoiding association with potential allies or coalition partners to avoid their stigma being attached to your cause, organization or person. Stigma jumping is a barrier to intersectional activism and advocacy and therefore neglects the most vulnerable. (This term was coined by Tammy Nyden in 2017.) Resources: Allyship (Definitions): Rochester Racial Justice Toolkit “What is Allyship?”” Michelle Kim “Allyship (& Accomplice): The What, the Why, and the How” Seventeen Magazine “What is Performative Allyship?” Teaching Tolerance “Ally or Accomplice: The Language of Activism” On Privilege and Power University of San Francisco, Gleeson Library “White Privilege Resource Guide” How to be an Ally (start here and by all means, do not stop): The Anti-Oppression Network “Allyship” Amélie Lamont “Guide to Allyship” Jamie Utt  “So You Call Yourself an Ally: 10 Things All ‘Allies’ Need to Know” Chris Scot Cole “3 Things Not To Do When Someone Discloses Their Invisible Disability”

In this episode we have a conversation about defunding the police: what it means, what it doesn't mean, and how the phrase raises different emotions in people depending on their personal experiences with the police and racism.How decades of consistent and pervasive defunding of community programming, healthcare, and education has harmed communities. We focus on the effects for children with disabilities.School Resource officers and police brutality in the schools that specifically targets black and brown children and children with disabilities.How policy runs on narratives, not statistics. We discuss and challenge narratives about “bad neighborhoods” and “bad children” that are steeped in anti-black racism, anti-indigeneity, and ableism and have fueled bad policy for decades. For more information about this topic: Defunding the police: Democracy NOW!:  “Defund the Police: Linda Sarsour & Mychal Denzel Smith on What Meaningful Change Would Look Like” USA Today “What does 'defund the police' mean and why some say 'reform' is not enough” Black Lives Matter Los Angeles Times “Eliminate school police, L.A. teachers union leaders say” Reading Towward Abolition: A Reading List on Policing, Rebellion, and the Criminalization of Blackness by the Abusable Past. Resources for teaching and talking about racism: EdJustice: “Black Lives Matter at School – Resources” Watson, Dyan, Jesse Hagopian, and Wayne Au. Teaching for Black Lives. , 2018. Print. The Black Lives Matter Syllabus The School to Prison Pipeline: Bullies in Blue: The Problem with School Policing [infographic] by the ACLU Cops and No Counselors: How the Lack of School Mental Health is Harming Students by the ACLU ** The image above was drawn by Akim, a 10 year African American boy expressing his feelings in this current moment of police brutality, racism, and Covid-19.

In this episode we have a conversation about defunding the police: what it means, what it doesn't mean, and how the phrase raises different emotions in people depending on their personal experiences with the police and racism.How decades of consistent and pervasive defunding of community programming, healthcare, and education has harmed communities. We focus on the effects for children with disabilities.School Resource officers and police brutality in the schools that specifically targets black and brown children and children with disabilities.How policy runs on narratives, not statistics. We discuss and challenge narratives about “bad neighborhoods” and “bad children” that are steeped in anti-black racism, anti-indigeneity, and ableism and have fueled bad policy for decades. For more information about this topic: Defunding the police: Democracy NOW!:  “Defund the Police: Linda Sarsour & Mychal Denzel Smith on What Meaningful Change Would Look Like” USA Today “What does 'defund the police' mean and why some say 'reform' is not enough” Black Lives Matter Los Angeles Times “Eliminate school police, L.A. teachers union leaders say” Reading Towward Abolition: A Reading List on Policing, Rebellion, and the Criminalization of Blackness by the Abusable Past. Resources for teaching and talking about racism: EdJustice: “Black Lives Matter at School – Resources” Watson, Dyan, Jesse Hagopian, and Wayne Au. Teaching for Black Lives. , 2018. Print. The Black Lives Matter Syllabus The School to Prison Pipeline: Bullies in Blue: The Problem with School Policing [infographic] by the ACLU Cops and No Counselors: How the Lack of School Mental Health is Harming Students by the ACLU ** The image above was drawn by Akim, a 10 year African American boy expressing his feelings in this current moment of police brutality, racism, and Covid-19.

In this episode we have a conversation about defunding the police: what it means, what it doesn’t mean, and how the phrase raises different emotions in people depending on their personal experiences with the police and racism.How decades of consistent and pervasive defunding of community programming, healthcare, and education has harmed communities. We focus on the effects for children with disabilities.School Resource officers and police brutality in the schools that specifically targets black and brown children and children with disabilities.How policy runs on narratives, not statistics. We discuss and challenge narratives about “bad neighborhoods” and “bad children” that are steeped in anti-black racism, anti-indigeneity, and ableism and have fueled bad policy for decades. For more information about this topic: Defunding the police: Democracy NOW!:  “Defund the Police: Linda Sarsour & Mychal Denzel Smith on What Meaningful Change Would Look Like” USA Today “What does 'defund the police' mean and why some say 'reform' is not enough” Black Lives Matter Los Angeles Times “Eliminate school police, L.A. teachers union leaders say” Reading Towward Abolition: A Reading List on Policing, Rebellion, and the Criminalization of Blackness by the Abusable Past. Resources for teaching and talking about racism: EdJustice: “Black Lives Matter at School – Resources” Watson, Dyan, Jesse Hagopian, and Wayne Au. Teaching for Black Lives. , 2018. Print. The Black Lives Matter Syllabus The School to Prison Pipeline: Bullies in Blue: The Problem with School Policing [infographic] by the ACLU Cops and No Counselors: How the Lack of School Mental Health is Harming Students by the ACLU ** The image above was drawn by Akim, a 10 year African American boy expressing his feelings in this current moment of police brutality, racism, and Covid-19.

In this episode, the founders of Mothers on the Frontline discuss grief, racial privilege, policing, and the performativity of emotion. Families and communities are grieving right now. We are grieving the deaths of over 100,000 Americans to Covid-19, which has disproportionately affected Black and Brown communities. We are grieving ongoing and countless losses of African-American Women, Men, and non-binary folk, children to elders, to institutional racism, particularly by the very structures that should be protecting them, including the police. Many parents are grieving the loss of the veneer of safety they once felt for themselves and their black and brown children in the community and in their very homes. Many white allies see the collective grief in the Black community and the pain in the eyes of their Black friends. They want to be helpful, but often fail to recognize their own emotional privilege. We examine how the centering and privileging of white emotion can result in dysfunctional empathy, as well as the weaponization of white lady tears.   Today's conversation challenges us to think about how the expression of emotion is learned and responded to very differently between White and Black women and how white emotional privilege in turn affects social narratives, resulting in particular interactions between children, police, and schools which are detrimental to children's mental health. If you are interested in learning more about some of the topics mentioned in this podcast we suggest the following: For information on addressing racism and racist thinking in your personal relationships: Seed the Way “Interrupting Bias: Calling In vs. Calling Out” A good guide on ACEs and Toxic Stress: Harvard University: Center on the Developing Child “ACEs and Toxic Stress: Frequently Asked Questions” Mentioned in the Podcast: DiAngelo, Robin J., White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk about Racism. United States, Beacon Press, 2018. National Domestic Workers Alliance

In this episode, the founders of Mothers on the Frontline discuss grief, racial privilege, policing, and the performativity of emotion. Families and communities are grieving right now. We are grieving the deaths of over 100,000 Americans to Covid-19, which has disproportionately affected Black and Brown communities. We are grieving ongoing and countless losses of African-American Women, Men, and non-binary folk, children to elders, to institutional racism, particularly by the very structures that should be protecting them, including the police. Many parents are grieving the loss of the veneer of safety they once felt for themselves and their black and brown children in the community and in their very homes. Many white allies see the collective grief in the Black community and the pain in the eyes of their Black friends. They want to be helpful, but often fail to recognize their own emotional privilege. We examine how the centering and privileging of white emotion can result in dysfunctional empathy, as well as the weaponization of white lady tears.   Today's conversation challenges us to think about how the expression of emotion is learned and responded to very differently between White and Black women and how white emotional privilege in turn affects social narratives, resulting in particular interactions between children, police, and schools which are detrimental to children's mental health. If you are interested in learning more about some of the topics mentioned in this podcast we suggest the following: For information on addressing racism and racist thinking in your personal relationships: Seed the Way “Interrupting Bias: Calling In vs. Calling Out” A good guide on ACEs and Toxic Stress: Harvard University: Center on the Developing Child “ACEs and Toxic Stress: Frequently Asked Questions” Mentioned in the Podcast: DiAngelo, Robin J., White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk about Racism. United States, Beacon Press, 2018. National Domestic Workers Alliance

In this episode, the founders of Mothers on the Frontline discuss grief, racial privilege, policing, and the perfomativity of emotion. If you are interested in learning more about some of the topics mentioned in this podcast we suggest the following: For information on addressing racism and racist thinking in your personal relationships: Seed the Way “Interrupting Bias: Calling In vs. Calling Out” A good guide on ACEs and Toxic Stress: Harvard University: Center on the Developing Child “ACEs and Toxic Stress: Frequently Asked Questions” Mentioned in the Podcast: DiAngelo, Robin J., White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk about Racism. United States, Beacon Press, 2018. National Domestic Workers Alliance

Kate is a mother from Iowa whose children have autism, anxiety, ADHD, sensory processing disorder and prosopagnosia. In this episode, she discusses what it was like when her son was first diagnosed, adjusting each year to new teachers, and what it is like to go through the ups and downs of parenting children who are 'differently wired'.

Kate is a mother from Iowa whose children have autism, anxiety, ADHD, sensory processing disorder and prosopagnosia. In this episode, she discusses what it was like when her son was first diagnosed, adjusting each year to new teachers, and what it is like to go through the ups and downs of parenting children who are 'differently wired'.

Kate is a mother from Iowa whose children have autism, anxiety, ADHD, sensory processing disorder and prosopagnosia. In this episode, she discusses what it was like when her son was first diagnosed, adjusting each year to new teachers, and what it is like to go through the ups and downs of parenting children who are 'differently wired'.

A mother speaks about raising a 9 year old with ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Anxiety.

A mother speaks about raising a 9 year old with ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Anxiety.

A mother speaks about raising a 9 year old with ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Anxiety.

In this episode, a foster and adoptive parent shares her experience of caring for  her biological, adoptive and foster children.

In this episode, a foster and adoptive parent shares her experience of caring for  her biological, adoptive and foster children.

In this episode, a foster and adoptive parent shares her experience of caring for  her biological, adoptive and foster children.

In this episode, Diana shares her experience mothering a 17 year old daughter with anxiety and depression. Mentioned on this episode:NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness: https://www.nami.org/ Transcription[music in background] Voiceover: Welcome to the Just Ask Mom podcast where mothers share their experiences of raising children with mental illness. Just Ask Mom is a mother's on the frontline production. Today we will listen to Diana, an Iowa parent with a 17-year-old daughter with anxiety and depression. Tammy: Tell us a little bit about yourself before or outside of mothering. What are your passions? Who are you? What do you love? Diana: Well, I enjoy biking and taking long bike rides, not competitively or anything but just kind of peddling along. I enjoy yoga and take some time for that when I can, and I enjoy writing. Tammy: Wonderful. Do you like creative writing, journaling, what kind of stuff do you do? Diana: All of that. I used to write for the newspaper when I'm just column and just kind of a life in the day of life and of mom, and that was fine. Tammy: That's wonderful, it's great. I want you to pretend that you're talking to people who just haven't had any direct experience with mental illness -   whether in their own life or anyone else in their direct family or friends- they just haven't had to deal with it. What would you like them to know about your experience? Diana: What I would like them to know beyond just my experience and just in general but particularly with me if you see me, is that it isn't always what you think it is and it doesn't always look how you think it's supposed to look. Please don't make the assumption that we might be wrong or dramatic or overreacting, and I know it might seem like that at times, but please just put compassion first and really trust that somebody who is living a situation particularly with their own child, their own family member. They are the expert and if they say something that doesn't really make sense to you based on what you observe of that child or that person, please just be compassionate and believe that there's probably a lot going on under the surface or things that you don't understand about it, and appreciate their honesty and being able to share. Tammy: Absolutely. Can you think of examples of where people have just not seen -  like they see it one way but something else is going on  - so that you just wish you could just sort of scream? Diana: Every day. [laughter] Diana: Every day. An example that comes to mind is a parent-teacher conference in which I was trying once again to gently and with a friendly face remind teachers that my daughter has a 504 plan, and that she has these accommodations and that they're legally required to provide those to her. We were having a little difficulty and the teacher said, "Well, I just don't think she's anxious, I mean I don't see it. I don't think she has anxiety, frankly", which is kind of a classic example. I actually appreciate the candor that that teacher showed because there are other people who are more passive about it but they certainly seem to be indicating that maybe my hyper-vigilance is causing anxiety. That's tough to take, it's a little insulting. There are people who sell my daughter short and kind of limit her based on, "Well if she's really anxious then maybe she should just do this and not even try this other thing". Tammy: I think it's a really good point because mental illness is portrayed a certain way in the media and movies and all this kind of thing. The assumption is you could see and know what is going on with someone, but someone could be going through a whole lot and look fine on the outside sometimes, or at least be able to do that for a small amount of time whether at school, at work or what have it. Right? It would be easy for someone to not notice because they're not living with it day to day. Diana: Right. I think that my daughter is very much like that.

In this episode, Diana shares her experience mothering a 17 year old daughter with anxiety and depression. Mentioned on this episode:NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness: https://www.nami.org/ Transcription[music in background] Voiceover: Welcome to the Just Ask Mom podcast where mothers share their experiences of raising children with mental illness. Just Ask Mom is a mother's on the frontline production. Today we will listen to Diana, an Iowa parent with a 17-year-old daughter with anxiety and depression. Tammy: Tell us a little bit about yourself before or outside of mothering. What are your passions? Who are you? What do you love? Diana: Well, I enjoy biking and taking long bike rides, not competitively or anything but just kind of peddling along. I enjoy yoga and take some time for that when I can, and I enjoy writing. Tammy: Wonderful. Do you like creative writing, journaling, what kind of stuff do you do? Diana: All of that. I used to write for the newspaper when I'm just column and just kind of a life in the day of life and of mom, and that was fine. Tammy: That's wonderful, it's great. I want you to pretend that you're talking to people who just haven't had any direct experience with mental illness -   whether in their own life or anyone else in their direct family or friends- they just haven't had to deal with it. What would you like them to know about your experience? Diana: What I would like them to know beyond just my experience and just in general but particularly with me if you see me, is that it isn't always what you think it is and it doesn't always look how you think it's supposed to look. Please don't make the assumption that we might be wrong or dramatic or overreacting, and I know it might seem like that at times, but please just put compassion first and really trust that somebody who is living a situation particularly with their own child, their own family member. They are the expert and if they say something that doesn't really make sense to you based on what you observe of that child or that person, please just be compassionate and believe that there's probably a lot going on under the surface or things that you don't understand about it, and appreciate their honesty and being able to share. Tammy: Absolutely. Can you think of examples of where people have just not seen -  like they see it one way but something else is going on  - so that you just wish you could just sort of scream? Diana: Every day. [laughter] Diana: Every day. An example that comes to mind is a parent-teacher conference in which I was trying once again to gently and with a friendly face remind teachers that my daughter has a 504 plan, and that she has these accommodations and that they're legally required to provide those to her. We were having a little difficulty and the teacher said, "Well, I just don't think she's anxious, I mean I don't see it. I don't think she has anxiety, frankly", which is kind of a classic example. I actually appreciate the candor that that teacher showed because there are other people who are more passive about it but they certainly seem to be indicating that maybe my hyper-vigilance is causing anxiety. That's tough to take, it's a little insulting. There are people who sell my daughter short and kind of limit her based on, "Well if she's really anxious then maybe she should just do this and not even try this other thing". Tammy: I think it's a really good point because mental illness is portrayed a certain way in the media and movies and all this kind of thing. The assumption is you could see and know what is going on with someone, but someone could be going through a whole lot and look fine on the outside sometimes, or at least be able to do that for a small amount of time whether at school, at work or what have it. Right? It would be easy for someone to not notice because they're not living with it day to day. Diana: Right. I think that my daughter is very much like that.

In this episode, Diana shares her experience mothering a 17 year old daughter with anxiety and depression. Mentioned on this episode:NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness: https://www.nami.org/ Transcription[music in background] Voiceover: Welcome to the Just Ask Mom podcast where mothers share their experiences of raising children with mental illness. Just Ask Mom is a mother's on the frontline production. Today we will listen to Diana, an Iowa parent with a 17-year-old daughter with anxiety and depression. Tammy: Tell us a little bit about yourself before or outside of mothering. What are your passions? Who are you? What do you love? Diana: Well, I enjoy biking and taking long bike rides, not competitively or anything but just kind of peddling along. I enjoy yoga and take some time for that when I can, and I enjoy writing. Tammy: Wonderful. Do you like creative writing, journaling, what kind of stuff do you do? Diana: All of that. I used to write for the newspaper when I'm just column and just kind of a life in the day of life and of mom, and that was fine. Tammy: That's wonderful, it's great. I want you to pretend that you're talking to people who just haven't had any direct experience with mental illness -   whether in their own life or anyone else in their direct family or friends- they just haven't had to deal with it. What would you like them to know about your experience? Diana: What I would like them to know beyond just my experience and just in general but particularly with me if you see me, is that it isn't always what you think it is and it doesn't always look how you think it's supposed to look. Please don't make the assumption that we might be wrong or dramatic or overreacting, and I know it might seem like that at times, but please just put compassion first and really trust that somebody who is living a situation particularly with their own child, their own family member. They are the expert and if they say something that doesn't really make sense to you based on what you observe of that child or that person, please just be compassionate and believe that there's probably a lot going on under the surface or things that you don't understand about it, and appreciate their honesty and being able to share. Tammy: Absolutely. Can you think of examples of where people have just not seen -  like they see it one way but something else is going on  - so that you just wish you could just sort of scream? Diana: Every day. [laughter] Diana: Every day. An example that comes to mind is a parent-teacher conference in which I was trying once again to gently and with a friendly face remind teachers that my daughter has a 504 plan, and that she has these accommodations and that they're legally required to provide those to her. We were having a little difficulty and the teacher said, "Well, I just don't think she's anxious, I mean I don't see it. I don't think she has anxiety, frankly", which is kind of a classic example. I actually appreciate the candor that that teacher showed because there are other people who are more passive about it but they certainly seem to be indicating that maybe my hyper-vigilance is causing anxiety. That's tough to take, it's a little insulting. There are people who sell my daughter short and kind of limit her based on, "Well if she's really anxious then maybe she should just do this and not even try this other thing". Tammy: I think it's a really good point because mental illness is portrayed a certain way in the media and movies and all this kind of thing. The assumption is you could see and know what is going on with someone, but someone could be going through a whole lot and look fine on the outside sometimes, or at least be able to do that for a small amount of time whether at school, at work or what have it. Right? It would be easy for someone to not notice because they're not living with it day to day. Diana: Right. I think that my daughter is very much like that.

Jill discusses caring for her son whose bipolar disorder surfaced during the teen years. She describes the lack of resources in rural Iowa, the criminalization of mental illness and how that affected her family. She explains how this journey as a mother makes you learn who you are as a person and how strong you can be. Transcription [music] Female Voice: Welcome to the Just Ask Mom podcast where mothers share their experiences of raising children with mental illness. Just Ask Mom is a Mothers On The Frontline production. Today we will listen to Jill, a mother from Iowa, share her story about raising a son with bipolar disorder. Tammy: Thank you for doing this. We really appreciate you being here. Jill: Absolutely. Tammy: Before we get into a lot of the content could you tell us a little bit about yourself before or outside of mothering, who are you? What are your passions? What are you interested in? Jill: It's a great question. Well, first of all, I think I've known since I was five years old, probably or even before that I wanted to be a teacher. My grandmother was a teacher, my aunt was a teacher. I would have to say that was my focus through high school. I went to college, I'm a teacher and I'm very passionate about it, very passionate about early childhood education. I currently decided to personally take a step back and decided to work on my Master's degree. Tammy: Wonderful. Jill: Yeah, between doing that and teaching full-time and having two children, let's say two teenagers at home. [laughs] Tammy: You're busy. Jill: It's busy. When I have a free second to breath and if I'm not writing the research paper or discussion thread I am spending time with my family and friends. That's very important to me. I like to exercise, I love to be outside in the summer in my flower garden. That's kind of me by myself. Tammy: So you knew early on what you wanted to do? Jill: I did and I think that doesn't happen a lot. Tammy: No. Jill: I I think a lot of children these days are just full of pressure. "I don't know what I want to do. I don't know what I want to do", and I just tell my boys I hope it's just a lucky one. So, 20-some years I've been in it and I don't ever see myself do anything else. Tammy: Oh, that's wonderful. You love it, that's great. Jill: I do, yes. Tammy: It's a gift when your passion can become your work. Jill: Yes, absolutely. Tammy: Absolutely. I want you to pretend that you're talking to other parents. What do you want them to know about your experience as raising a child with a mental health condition? What would you want them to know? Jill: I would say number one, trust your instincts. If you see something maybe that is out of character for your child, maybe something that differs from what they have "typically", how they've been acting. I guess just picking up on those little cues. I look back over the journey with my son it's been three years. Three years and three years now has gone by and I look back at some of the things and say. "Wow, I wish I would have been-- went with my gut more than I did". Does that make sense? Tammy: It does. Now with your son, was there a clear before-and-after of an onset of symptoms, did it sort of come on at a certain point in his life or did you always see it his whole life, or? Jill: No. We did not see it early on in life at all. There was no signs or symptoms at all. Probably started seeing it at the age of 15, his hormones were really coming on. When we first started seeing signs like I said looking back impulsive behaviors and things that typically hadn't been characteristic of my son, but because some of it we kind of blamed on, "Oh, he's a teenager. Oh, he's sowing his oats, he's doing this", but then he would be fine for a while. Then well, we'd have another as well, I say now an episode of just uncharacteristically behaviors. I should have went with my gut more than I did but I did try to get some he...

Jill discusses caring for her son whose bipolar disorder surfaced during the teen years. She describes the lack of resources in rural Iowa, the criminalization of mental illness and how that affected her family. She explains how this journey as a mother makes you learn who you are as a person and how strong you can be. Transcription [music] Female Voice: Welcome to the Just Ask Mom podcast where mothers share their experiences of raising children with mental illness. Just Ask Mom is a Mothers On The Frontline production. Today we will listen to Jill, a mother from Iowa, share her story about raising a son with bipolar disorder. Tammy: Thank you for doing this. We really appreciate you being here. Jill: Absolutely. Tammy: Before we get into a lot of the content could you tell us a little bit about yourself before or outside of mothering, who are you? What are your passions? What are you interested in? Jill: It's a great question. Well, first of all, I think I've known since I was five years old, probably or even before that I wanted to be a teacher. My grandmother was a teacher, my aunt was a teacher. I would have to say that was my focus through high school. I went to college, I'm a teacher and I'm very passionate about it, very passionate about early childhood education. I currently decided to personally take a step back and decided to work on my Master's degree. Tammy: Wonderful. Jill: Yeah, between doing that and teaching full-time and having two children, let's say two teenagers at home. [laughs] Tammy: You're busy. Jill: It's busy. When I have a free second to breath and if I'm not writing the research paper or discussion thread I am spending time with my family and friends. That's very important to me. I like to exercise, I love to be outside in the summer in my flower garden. That's kind of me by myself. Tammy: So you knew early on what you wanted to do? Jill: I did and I think that doesn't happen a lot. Tammy: No. Jill: I I think a lot of children these days are just full of pressure. "I don't know what I want to do. I don't know what I want to do", and I just tell my boys I hope it's just a lucky one. So, 20-some years I've been in it and I don't ever see myself do anything else. Tammy: Oh, that's wonderful. You love it, that's great. Jill: I do, yes. Tammy: It's a gift when your passion can become your work. Jill: Yes, absolutely. Tammy: Absolutely. I want you to pretend that you're talking to other parents. What do you want them to know about your experience as raising a child with a mental health condition? What would you want them to know? Jill: I would say number one, trust your instincts. If you see something maybe that is out of character for your child, maybe something that differs from what they have "typically", how they've been acting. I guess just picking up on those little cues. I look back over the journey with my son it's been three years. Three years and three years now has gone by and I look back at some of the things and say. "Wow, I wish I would have been-- went with my gut more than I did". Does that make sense? Tammy: It does. Now with your son, was there a clear before-and-after of an onset of symptoms, did it sort of come on at a certain point in his life or did you always see it his whole life, or? Jill: No. We did not see it early on in life at all. There was no signs or symptoms at all. Probably started seeing it at the age of 15, his hormones were really coming on. When we first started seeing signs like I said looking back impulsive behaviors and things that typically hadn't been characteristic of my son, but because some of it we kind of blamed on, "Oh, he's a teenager. Oh, he's sowing his oats, he's doing this", but then he would be fine for a while. Then well, we'd have another as well, I say now an episode of just uncharacteristically behaviors. I should have went with my gut more than I did but I did try to get some he...

Jill discusses caring for her son whose bipolar disorder surfaced during the teen years. She describes the lack of resources in rural Iowa, the criminalization of mental illness and how that affected her family. She explains how this journey as a mother makes you learn who you are as a person and how strong you can be. Transcription [music] Female Voice: Welcome to the Just Ask Mom podcast where mothers share their experiences of raising children with mental illness. Just Ask Mom is a Mothers On The Frontline production. Today we will listen to Jill, a mother from Iowa, share her story about raising a son with bipolar disorder. Tammy: Thank you for doing this. We really appreciate you being here. Jill: Absolutely. Tammy: Before we get into a lot of the content could you tell us a little bit about yourself before or outside of mothering, who are you? What are your passions? What are you interested in? Jill: It's a great question. Well, first of all, I think I've known since I was five years old, probably or even before that I wanted to be a teacher. My grandmother was a teacher, my aunt was a teacher. I would have to say that was my focus through high school. I went to college, I'm a teacher and I'm very passionate about it, very passionate about early childhood education. I currently decided to personally take a step back and decided to work on my Master's degree. Tammy: Wonderful. Jill: Yeah, between doing that and teaching full-time and having two children, let's say two teenagers at home. [laughs] Tammy: You're busy. Jill: It's busy. When I have a free second to breath and if I'm not writing the research paper or discussion thread I am spending time with my family and friends. That's very important to me. I like to exercise, I love to be outside in the summer in my flower garden. That's kind of me by myself. Tammy: So you knew early on what you wanted to do? Jill: I did and I think that doesn't happen a lot. Tammy: No. Jill: I I think a lot of children these days are just full of pressure. "I don't know what I want to do. I don't know what I want to do", and I just tell my boys I hope it's just a lucky one. So, 20-some years I've been in it and I don't ever see myself do anything else. Tammy: Oh, that's wonderful. You love it, that's great. Jill: I do, yes. Tammy: It's a gift when your passion can become your work. Jill: Yes, absolutely. Tammy: Absolutely. I want you to pretend that you're talking to other parents. What do you want them to know about your experience as raising a child with a mental health condition? What would you want them to know? Jill: I would say number one, trust your instincts. If you see something maybe that is out of character for your child, maybe something that differs from what they have "typically", how they've been acting. I guess just picking up on those little cues. I look back over the journey with my son it's been three years. Three years and three years now has gone by and I look back at some of the things and say. "Wow, I wish I would have been-- went with my gut more than I did". Does that make sense? Tammy: It does. Now with your son, was there a clear before-and-after of an onset of symptoms, did it sort of come on at a certain point in his life or did you always see it his whole life, or? Jill: No. We did not see it early on in life at all. There was no signs or symptoms at all. Probably started seeing it at the age of 15, his hormones were really coming on. When we first started seeing signs like I said looking back impulsive behaviors and things that typically hadn't been characteristic of my son, but because some of it we kind of blamed on, "Oh, he's a teenager. Oh, he's sowing his oats, he's doing this", but then he would be fine for a while. Then well, we'd have another as well, I say now an episode of just uncharacteristically behaviors. I should have went with my gut more than I did but I did try to get some he...

In this episode, we listen to Miss Diva from the USA. She speaks about raising a son with schizoaffective disorder, bipolar, ADHD, PTSD, and Seizures in the African-American Community. Please be advised that this interview contains content about domestic abuse and may be upsetting for some audience members. Transcription Women's Voice: Welcome to the "Just Ask Mom" podcast. Where mothers share their experiences of raising children with mental illnesses. Just Ask Mom is a Mothers on the Frontline production. Today we will listen to Ms. Diva from the USA. Please be advised that this interview contains some content about domestic abuse and may be upsetting for some audience members. This interview was recorded at the 2017 National Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health Conference in Orlando Florida. During this particular recording, you can hear noise in the background from another event in the hotel. Please don't let these noises distract you from Ms. Diva's story. Dionne: I'm sitting here with you and I wanna say thank you very very much... Miss Diva: You're welcome. Dionne: ...for agreeing to be a part of our podcast. Can you please introduce yourself? Diva: My name is Diva and I am called Diva because I have been through so much in my forty-four years on this earth until I feel like there is nothing anybody can do or say to break me anymore. And I feel like you can try but I'm always gonna  come out victorious because the Diva is always going to hustle - get it done for her and her children no matter what. If she has a man or she don't have a man, she don't need a man to make it happen. And that's me. Dionne: Thank you. Well, tell me Ms. Diva, tell us a little bit about who you are and who you were, what are your passions? Who are you outside of and in addition to being a momma. Diva: Oh my gosh! First of all, I honestly didn't wanna become a mom. I was scared that I wasn't gonna be able to give my children the love that they needed like they were supposed to have. Because when I was a kid I felt like I wasn't loved passionately enough as a child suppose have been loved by their parent and encouraged enough because my parents didn't give me that encouragement. They gave my younger sisters that encouragement but as for me, they didn't do that. But when I had my children I was like, "Wow!". When I had my first child I was like. "Ohh,hhuuhh!", you know, like "Oh, No!". And then had my second child after I am married. And then my third and my fourth. And then I was like, "Oh no, I'm a mom!". So I was like, "Okay, I gotta step my game up since I'm about ten thousand times more than what they did.". So my goal was to always let my kids know that: "I love you and there is nothing that you cannot do. I will never stand on the way of your creativity. The word ‘can't' and ‘I won't' will no longer be in existence for you all." My kids used to think I was mean because I used to give them books to read. So, they was like, "This is a punishment". No, it's not though my kids one of the--it wasn't. I have been through domestic violence, my kids have seen that. Still legally married to the man. He tried to kill me and my kids. So we are still standing the risk. That's why I say I'm that diva because I refuse to allow you to dominate my life because if I let you dominate my life, it's like you still have your hand in my life. "Oh no!", because I'm going to do what I need to do. I have four children: 24, 18, 16 and 14. I have an 18 year old. He has a bipolar schizoaffective disorder and the alphabet. And once--you know what I mean when I say the alphabet. Dionne: Yes. The alphabet soup of diagnosis, yes. Diva: And sometimes he has his good days, sometimes he has his bad days. And it's like, "Whoa, wait! Hold up!", and sometimes he wants to listen to me, sometimes he don't. But he's at the conference with me. He's doing good. When we walk past to come here, he was sitting in a class listening paying atte...

In this episode, we listen to Miss Diva from the USA. She speaks about raising a son with schizoaffective disorder, bipolar, ADHD, PTSD, and Seizures in the African-American Community. Please be advised that this interview contains content about domestic abuse and may be upsetting for some audience members. Transcription Women's Voice: Welcome to the "Just Ask Mom" podcast. Where mothers share their experiences of raising children with mental illnesses. Just Ask Mom is a Mothers on the Frontline production. Today we will listen to Ms. Diva from the USA. Please be advised that this interview contains some content about domestic abuse and may be upsetting for some audience members. This interview was recorded at the 2017 National Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health Conference in Orlando Florida. During this particular recording, you can hear noise in the background from another event in the hotel. Please don't let these noises distract you from Ms. Diva's story. Dionne: I'm sitting here with you and I wanna say thank you very very much... Miss Diva: You're welcome. Dionne: ...for agreeing to be a part of our podcast. Can you please introduce yourself? Diva: My name is Diva and I am called Diva because I have been through so much in my forty-four years on this earth until I feel like there is nothing anybody can do or say to break me anymore. And I feel like you can try but I'm always gonna  come out victorious because the Diva is always going to hustle - get it done for her and her children no matter what. If she has a man or she don't have a man, she don't need a man to make it happen. And that's me. Dionne: Thank you. Well, tell me Ms. Diva, tell us a little bit about who you are and who you were, what are your passions? Who are you outside of and in addition to being a momma. Diva: Oh my gosh! First of all, I honestly didn't wanna become a mom. I was scared that I wasn't gonna be able to give my children the love that they needed like they were supposed to have. Because when I was a kid I felt like I wasn't loved passionately enough as a child suppose have been loved by their parent and encouraged enough because my parents didn't give me that encouragement. They gave my younger sisters that encouragement but as for me, they didn't do that. But when I had my children I was like, "Wow!". When I had my first child I was like. "Ohh,hhuuhh!", you know, like "Oh, No!". And then had my second child after I am married. And then my third and my fourth. And then I was like, "Oh no, I'm a mom!". So I was like, "Okay, I gotta step my game up since I'm about ten thousand times more than what they did.". So my goal was to always let my kids know that: "I love you and there is nothing that you cannot do. I will never stand on the way of your creativity. The word ‘can't' and ‘I won't' will no longer be in existence for you all." My kids used to think I was mean because I used to give them books to read. So, they was like, "This is a punishment". No, it's not though my kids one of the--it wasn't. I have been through domestic violence, my kids have seen that. Still legally married to the man. He tried to kill me and my kids. So we are still standing the risk. That's why I say I'm that diva because I refuse to allow you to dominate my life because if I let you dominate my life, it's like you still have your hand in my life. "Oh no!", because I'm going to do what I need to do. I have four children: 24, 18, 16 and 14. I have an 18 year old. He has a bipolar schizoaffective disorder and the alphabet. And once--you know what I mean when I say the alphabet. Dionne: Yes. The alphabet soup of diagnosis, yes. Diva: And sometimes he has his good days, sometimes he has his bad days. And it's like, "Whoa, wait! Hold up!", and sometimes he wants to listen to me, sometimes he don't. But he's at the conference with me. He's doing good. When we walk past to come here, he was sitting in a class listening paying atte...

In this episode, we listen to Miss Diva from the USA. She speaks about raising a son with schizoaffective disorder, bipolar, ADHD, PTSD, and Seizures in the African-American Community. Please be advised that this interview contains content about domestic abuse and may be upsetting for some audience members. Transcription Women’s Voice: Welcome to the "Just Ask Mom" podcast. Where mothers share their experiences of raising children with mental illnesses. Just Ask Mom is a Mothers on the Frontline production. Today we will listen to Ms. Diva from the USA. Please be advised that this interview contains some content about domestic abuse and may be upsetting for some audience members. This interview was recorded at the 2017 National Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health Conference in Orlando Florida. During this particular recording, you can hear noise in the background from another event in the hotel. Please don't let these noises distract you from Ms. Diva's story. Dionne: I'm sitting here with you and I wanna say thank you very very much... Miss Diva: You're welcome. Dionne: ...for agreeing to be a part of our podcast. Can you please introduce yourself? Diva: My name is Diva and I am called Diva because I have been through so much in my forty-four years on this earth until I feel like there is nothing anybody can do or say to break me anymore. And I feel like you can try but I'm always gonna  come out victorious because the Diva is always going to hustle - get it done for her and her children no matter what. If she has a man or she don't have a man, she don't need a man to make it happen. And that's me. Dionne: Thank you. Well, tell me Ms. Diva, tell us a little bit about who you are and who you were, what are your passions? Who are you outside of and in addition to being a momma. Diva: Oh my gosh! First of all, I honestly didn't wanna become a mom. I was scared that I wasn't gonna be able to give my children the love that they needed like they were supposed to have. Because when I was a kid I felt like I wasn't loved passionately enough as a child suppose have been loved by their parent and encouraged enough because my parents didn't give me that encouragement. They gave my younger sisters that encouragement but as for me, they didn't do that. But when I had my children I was like, "Wow!". When I had my first child I was like. "Ohh,hhuuhh!", you know, like "Oh, No!". And then had my second child after I am married. And then my third and my fourth. And then I was like, "Oh no, I'm a mom!". So I was like, "Okay, I gotta step my game up since I'm about ten thousand times more than what they did.". So my goal was to always let my kids know that: "I love you and there is nothing that you cannot do. I will never stand on the way of your creativity. The word ‘can't’ and ‘I won't’ will no longer be in existence for you all." My kids used to think I was mean because I used to give them books to read. So, they was like, "This is a punishment". No, it's not though my kids one of the--it wasn't. I have been through domestic violence, my kids have seen that. Still legally married to the man. He tried to kill me and my kids. So we are still standing the risk. That's why I say I'm that diva because I refuse to allow you to dominate my life because if I let you dominate my life, it's like you still have your hand in my life. "Oh no!", because I'm going to do what I need to do. I have four children: 24, 18, 16 and 14. I have an 18 year old. He has a bipolar schizoaffective disorder and the alphabet. And once--you know what I mean when I say the alphabet. Dionne: Yes. The alphabet soup of diagnosis, yes. Diva: And sometimes he has his good days, sometimes he has his bad days. And it's like, "Whoa, wait! Hold up!", and sometimes he wants to listen to me, sometimes he don't. But he's at the conference with me. He's doing good. When we walk past to come here, he was sitting in a class listening paying atte...

In this episode, we listen to Melissa, a mother from rural Iowa, share her story about raising a son with severe depression. Please be advised that this interview discusses suicide and may be triggering for some of our audience. (See below for transcription.) Suicide Resources: The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255 The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals. Trans Lifeline - Trans Lifeline is a national trans-led organization dedicated to improving the quality of trans lives by responding to the critical needs of our community with direct service, material support, advocacy, and education. Our vision is to fight the epidemic of trans suicide and improve overall life-outcomes of trans people by facilitating justice-oriented, collective community aid. The Trevor Project - The leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning (LGBTQ) young people under 25. You Matter -This is a safe space for youth to discuss and share stories about mental health and wellness, created and administered by the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You Matter blog posts are written by a rotating Blogger Council of individuals between the ages of 13-24 that are passionate about suicide prevention and mental health.   Transcription of Just Ask Mom, episode 17 (0:00) (music fades in) Woman Speaker: Welcome to the Just Ask Mom podcast where mother share their experiences of raising children with mental illness. Just Ask Mom is a Mothers on the Frontline production. Today, we will listen to Melissa. A mother from rural Iowa, share her story about raising a son with severe depression. Please be advised that this interview discusses suicide and maybe triggering to some of our audience. (music fades out) Tammy: Hello. Can you tell us a little about yourself before or outside of parenting, what do you love? Who are you? Melissa: My name is Melissa and I'm a mom here in rural Iowa. I farm with my husband in a small community. I love the environment. I love watching our children grow. Just being outdoors, reading, that kind of thing. Tammy: You like watching lots of things grow, it sounds like. Melissa: Yeah. Tammy: That's awesome. I want you to pretend that you're talking to peers of kids that are going through mental health difficulties and their parents. What would you like them to know about your family's experiences? Melissa: I would say that our experience as parents with a child with debilitating mental illness - would be to just maybe ask, be inquisitive. Try and find out, not in a nosy type of a way but just-- so maybe you can learn a little bit more about the situation and not just shut the doors essentially because it's very challenging on a daily basis. When you're feeling the doors slammed by parents or peers that don't necessarily know the story, it just makes life that much harder.  (2:00) My child has a lot to give to this world. He's beautiful and he's kind but he just struggles with certain things. But I think his life as a youth could have been much easier if some closed doors would have remained open. Tammy: You bring up a really good point because a lot of times, if our children are sick, let's say if they have a physical illness or the measles or what have you, people would naturally say, "Oh, how is your son doing?" Right? Melissa: Right. Tammy: They would naturally ask. Maybe people are afraid to ask us or talk to us. They shut down or shut us out sometimes. Is that right? Melissa: Yeah. I would say that. I know it is not the exact same thing but I spend a lot of time thinking about it. I kind of wonder if on some level, it's how people who are diagnosed with AIDS in the 80's feel. Tammy: Yeah.

In this episode, we listen to Melissa, a mother from rural Iowa, share her story about raising a son with severe depression. Please be advised that this interview discusses suicide and may be triggering for some of our audience. (See below for transcription.) Suicide Resources: The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255 The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals. Trans Lifeline - Trans Lifeline is a national trans-led organization dedicated to improving the quality of trans lives by responding to the critical needs of our community with direct service, material support, advocacy, and education. Our vision is to fight the epidemic of trans suicide and improve overall life-outcomes of trans people by facilitating justice-oriented, collective community aid. The Trevor Project - The leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning (LGBTQ) young people under 25. You Matter -This is a safe space for youth to discuss and share stories about mental health and wellness, created and administered by the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You Matter blog posts are written by a rotating Blogger Council of individuals between the ages of 13-24 that are passionate about suicide prevention and mental health.   Transcription of Just Ask Mom, episode 17 (0:00) (music fades in) Woman Speaker: Welcome to the Just Ask Mom podcast where mother share their experiences of raising children with mental illness. Just Ask Mom is a Mothers on the Frontline production. Today, we will listen to Melissa. A mother from rural Iowa, share her story about raising a son with severe depression. Please be advised that this interview discusses suicide and maybe triggering to some of our audience. (music fades out) Tammy: Hello. Can you tell us a little about yourself before or outside of parenting, what do you love? Who are you? Melissa: My name is Melissa and I'm a mom here in rural Iowa. I farm with my husband in a small community. I love the environment. I love watching our children grow. Just being outdoors, reading, that kind of thing. Tammy: You like watching lots of things grow, it sounds like. Melissa: Yeah. Tammy: That's awesome. I want you to pretend that you're talking to peers of kids that are going through mental health difficulties and their parents. What would you like them to know about your family's experiences? Melissa: I would say that our experience as parents with a child with debilitating mental illness - would be to just maybe ask, be inquisitive. Try and find out, not in a nosy type of a way but just-- so maybe you can learn a little bit more about the situation and not just shut the doors essentially because it's very challenging on a daily basis. When you're feeling the doors slammed by parents or peers that don't necessarily know the story, it just makes life that much harder.  (2:00) My child has a lot to give to this world. He's beautiful and he's kind but he just struggles with certain things. But I think his life as a youth could have been much easier if some closed doors would have remained open. Tammy: You bring up a really good point because a lot of times, if our children are sick, let's say if they have a physical illness or the measles or what have you, people would naturally say, "Oh, how is your son doing?" Right? Melissa: Right. Tammy: They would naturally ask. Maybe people are afraid to ask us or talk to us. They shut down or shut us out sometimes. Is that right? Melissa: Yeah. I would say that. I know it is not the exact same thing but I spend a lot of time thinking about it. I kind of wonder if on some level, it's how people who are diagnosed with AIDS in the 80's feel. Tammy: Yeah.

In this episode, we listen to Melissa, a mother from rural Iowa, share her story about raising a son with severe depression. Please be advised that this interview discusses suicide and may be triggering for some of our audience. (See below for transcription.) Suicide Resources: The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255 The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals. Trans Lifeline - Trans Lifeline is a national trans-led organization dedicated to improving the quality of trans lives by responding to the critical needs of our community with direct service, material support, advocacy, and education. Our vision is to fight the epidemic of trans suicide and improve overall life-outcomes of trans people by facilitating justice-oriented, collective community aid. The Trevor Project - The leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer & questioning (LGBTQ) young people under 25. You Matter -This is a safe space for youth to discuss and share stories about mental health and wellness, created and administered by the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You Matter blog posts are written by a rotating Blogger Council of individuals between the ages of 13-24 that are passionate about suicide prevention and mental health.   Transcription of Just Ask Mom, episode 17 (0:00) (music fades in) Woman Speaker: Welcome to the Just Ask Mom podcast where mother share their experiences of raising children with mental illness. Just Ask Mom is a Mothers on the Frontline production. Today, we will listen to Melissa. A mother from rural Iowa, share her story about raising a son with severe depression. Please be advised that this interview discusses suicide and maybe triggering to some of our audience. (music fades out) Tammy: Hello. Can you tell us a little about yourself before or outside of parenting, what do you love? Who are you? Melissa: My name is Melissa and I'm a mom here in rural Iowa. I farm with my husband in a small community. I love the environment. I love watching our children grow. Just being outdoors, reading, that kind of thing. Tammy: You like watching lots of things grow, it sounds like. Melissa: Yeah. Tammy: That's awesome. I want you to pretend that you're talking to peers of kids that are going through mental health difficulties and their parents. What would you like them to know about your family's experiences? Melissa: I would say that our experience as parents with a child with debilitating mental illness - would be to just maybe ask, be inquisitive. Try and find out, not in a nosy type of a way but just-- so maybe you can learn a little bit more about the situation and not just shut the doors essentially because it's very challenging on a daily basis. When you're feeling the doors slammed by parents or peers that don't necessarily know the story, it just makes life that much harder.  (2:00) My child has a lot to give to this world. He's beautiful and he's kind but he just struggles with certain things. But I think his life as a youth could have been much easier if some closed doors would have remained open. Tammy: You bring up a really good point because a lot of times, if our children are sick, let's say if they have a physical illness or the measles or what have you, people would naturally say, "Oh, how is your son doing?" Right? Melissa: Right. Tammy: They would naturally ask. Maybe people are afraid to ask us or talk to us. They shut down or shut us out sometimes. Is that right? Melissa: Yeah. I would say that. I know it is not the exact same thing but I spend a lot of time thinking about it. I kind of wonder if on some level, it's how people who are diagnosed with AIDS in the 80's feel. Tammy: Yeah.

In this episode, we  hear from John “Tank” Miller of Delaware. A Family Advocate and father of a 19 year old with mental health challenges, John discusses his mental health advocacy through social media and how he uses “Tank Mentality” to provide those with mental illness encouragement every day. Become part of the Tank Mentality Movement: Follow on Twitter @tankmentality  Follow on Facebook: tankmentality/ Transcription Female Voice: Welcome to Ask the Advocate. Where mental health advocates share their journey to advocacy, and what it has meant for their lives. Ask the Advocate is a Mothers On The Front Line production. Today, we will hear from John 'Tank' Miller of Delaware. A family advocate and father of a 19-year-old son with mental health challenges. John discusses his mental health advocacy through social media, and how he uses Tank mentality to provide those with mental illness encouragement every day. This interview was recorded at the 2017 National Federation of Families conference for children's mental health. [background music] Tammy: Hello. So, we're just going to begin by asking you to introduce yourself, and telling us a little bit about your advocacy organization, and what you do. John: My name is John Miller from Delaware. I am a father of a 19-year-old with mental health issues. I'm here today to talk about my movement, Tank Mentality. Tammy: Yeah, I love the name. Why don't you tell us a bit about the name? John: Well, about the name, the name actually was the origin of me, and that came from playing football. 9th grade year, I had a football coach who lined me up, and I was excited. I was just putting on pads for the first time as a high-schooler, and we ran a drill called Oklahomas. The object of Oklahoma is to not get tackled. Tammy: Sounds like a good incentive. John: So, I grabbed the ball, and the rest was kind of history. I ran through my whole entire team, and it got to the point where he was like, "Nobody can tackle you. We're gonna call you Tank." And, that's when Tank was born. Tammy: And how do you see Tank as transferring to mental health? John: Because as a tank, you're in the front line. Tammy: That's right. John: On the front line, you're going to take some punishment. So, on the front line, you have to have that armor. So, I incorporated Tank as far as mental because everything in life is mental. Tammy: That's right. John: So, you can't do a thing without thinking of things. So, it's just was one of those things where I'm like, "You know what? This thing is bigger than me. And, it started with me, but it's not going to end with me." Tammy: Awesome. So, tell us a bit how you got involved in advocacy, to begin with. John: Well, I got involved with advocacy, it was something that I was naturally doing. To give you a little background about me, I work as a restaurant manager. Because being a manager as you know, you're managing a bunch of teenagers and younger people, so you're always molding young leaders, and you're supervising them, but at the same time, you're kind of like, as I say, growing them. So, I actually listened to a lot of their challenges, their stories, and seeing some of their strengths and weaknesses, and I was using my advocacy to help them better. And, it was just something I was naturally doing, and I had the opportunity to do it as a professional. It was just like a smooth transition because I'm like I'm already doing this. Tammy: Right. I love it that though because you say that like that's so natural. I'm not sure all restaurant managers are thinking of themselves and their role as developing young people. I think that's pretty remarkable that you, even at that point, that's how you were seeing it. I have to just point that out, I think that's remarkable and wonderful that you took that on. John: Well, that goes down to my upbringing. My grandmother put that into me as a young kid.

In this episode, we  hear from John “Tank” Miller of Delaware. A Family Advocate and father of a 19 year old with mental health challenges, John discusses his mental health advocacy through social media and how he uses “Tank Mentality” to provide those with mental illness encouragement every day. Become part of the Tank Mentality Movement: Follow on Twitter @tankmentality  Follow on Facebook: tankmentality/ Transcription Female Voice: Welcome to Ask the Advocate. Where mental health advocates share their journey to advocacy, and what it has meant for their lives. Ask the Advocate is a Mothers On The Front Line production. Today, we will hear from John 'Tank' Miller of Delaware. A family advocate and father of a 19-year-old son with mental health challenges. John discusses his mental health advocacy through social media, and how he uses Tank mentality to provide those with mental illness encouragement every day. This interview was recorded at the 2017 National Federation of Families conference for children's mental health. [background music] Tammy: Hello. So, we're just going to begin by asking you to introduce yourself, and telling us a little bit about your advocacy organization, and what you do. John: My name is John Miller from Delaware. I am a father of a 19-year-old with mental health issues. I'm here today to talk about my movement, Tank Mentality. Tammy: Yeah, I love the name. Why don't you tell us a bit about the name? John: Well, about the name, the name actually was the origin of me, and that came from playing football. 9th grade year, I had a football coach who lined me up, and I was excited. I was just putting on pads for the first time as a high-schooler, and we ran a drill called Oklahomas. The object of Oklahoma is to not get tackled. Tammy: Sounds like a good incentive. John: So, I grabbed the ball, and the rest was kind of history. I ran through my whole entire team, and it got to the point where he was like, "Nobody can tackle you. We're gonna call you Tank." And, that's when Tank was born. Tammy: And how do you see Tank as transferring to mental health? John: Because as a tank, you're in the front line. Tammy: That's right. John: On the front line, you're going to take some punishment. So, on the front line, you have to have that armor. So, I incorporated Tank as far as mental because everything in life is mental. Tammy: That's right. John: So, you can't do a thing without thinking of things. So, it's just was one of those things where I'm like, "You know what? This thing is bigger than me. And, it started with me, but it's not going to end with me." Tammy: Awesome. So, tell us a bit how you got involved in advocacy, to begin with. John: Well, I got involved with advocacy, it was something that I was naturally doing. To give you a little background about me, I work as a restaurant manager. Because being a manager as you know, you're managing a bunch of teenagers and younger people, so you're always molding young leaders, and you're supervising them, but at the same time, you're kind of like, as I say, growing them. So, I actually listened to a lot of their challenges, their stories, and seeing some of their strengths and weaknesses, and I was using my advocacy to help them better. And, it was just something I was naturally doing, and I had the opportunity to do it as a professional. It was just like a smooth transition because I'm like I'm already doing this. Tammy: Right. I love it that though because you say that like that's so natural. I'm not sure all restaurant managers are thinking of themselves and their role as developing young people. I think that's pretty remarkable that you, even at that point, that's how you were seeing it. I have to just point that out, I think that's remarkable and wonderful that you took that on. John: Well, that goes down to my upbringing. My grandmother put that into me as a young kid.

In this episode, we  hear from John “Tank” Miller of Delaware. A Family Advocate and father of a 19 year old with mental health challenges, John discusses his mental health advocacy through social media and how he uses “Tank Mentality” to provide those with mental illness encouragement every day. Become part of the Tank Mentality Movement: Follow on Twitter @tankmentality  Follow on Facebook: tankmentality/ Transcription Female Voice: Welcome to Ask the Advocate. Where mental health advocates share their journey to advocacy, and what it has meant for their lives. Ask the Advocate is a Mothers On The Front Line production. Today, we will hear from John 'Tank' Miller of Delaware. A family advocate and father of a 19-year-old son with mental health challenges. John discusses his mental health advocacy through social media, and how he uses Tank mentality to provide those with mental illness encouragement every day. This interview was recorded at the 2017 National Federation of Families conference for children's mental health. [background music] Tammy: Hello. So, we're just going to begin by asking you to introduce yourself, and telling us a little bit about your advocacy organization, and what you do. John: My name is John Miller from Delaware. I am a father of a 19-year-old with mental health issues. I'm here today to talk about my movement, Tank Mentality. Tammy: Yeah, I love the name. Why don't you tell us a bit about the name? John: Well, about the name, the name actually was the origin of me, and that came from playing football. 9th grade year, I had a football coach who lined me up, and I was excited. I was just putting on pads for the first time as a high-schooler, and we ran a drill called Oklahomas. The object of Oklahoma is to not get tackled. Tammy: Sounds like a good incentive. John: So, I grabbed the ball, and the rest was kind of history. I ran through my whole entire team, and it got to the point where he was like, "Nobody can tackle you. We’re gonna call you Tank." And, that's when Tank was born. Tammy: And how do you see Tank as transferring to mental health? John: Because as a tank, you're in the front line. Tammy: That's right. John: On the front line, you're going to take some punishment. So, on the front line, you have to have that armor. So, I incorporated Tank as far as mental because everything in life is mental. Tammy: That's right. John: So, you can't do a thing without thinking of things. So, it’s just was one of those things where I'm like, "You know what? This thing is bigger than me. And, it started with me, but it's not going to end with me." Tammy: Awesome. So, tell us a bit how you got involved in advocacy, to begin with. John: Well, I got involved with advocacy, it was something that I was naturally doing. To give you a little background about me, I work as a restaurant manager. Because being a manager as you know, you're managing a bunch of teenagers and younger people, so you're always molding young leaders, and you're supervising them, but at the same time, you're kind of like, as I say, growing them. So, I actually listened to a lot of their challenges, their stories, and seeing some of their strengths and weaknesses, and I was using my advocacy to help them better. And, it was just something I was naturally doing, and I had the opportunity to do it as a professional. It was just like a smooth transition because I'm like I'm already doing this. Tammy: Right. I love it that though because you say that like that's so natural. I'm not sure all restaurant managers are thinking of themselves and their role as developing young people. I think that's pretty remarkable that you, even at that point, that's how you were seeing it. I have to just point that out, I think that's remarkable and wonderful that you took that on. John: Well, that goes down to my upbringing. My grandmother put that into me as a young kid.

In this episode, we listen to  Andre Minett, a father of two, husband, and social worker. He discusses his experience advocating for foster children and his own experience as a father with a child with health condition. Transcription ATA 5 not edited [background music] Female Speaker: Welcome to “Ask The Advocate” where mental health advocates share their journey to advocacy and what it is meant for their lives. “Ask The Advocate” is a Mothers On The Front Line production. Today we will hear from Andre Mina, a father of two, husband, and social worker. This interview was recorded at the 2017 National Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health conference in Orlando Florida. During this particular recording, you can hear music and noise in the background from another event in the hotel. Please don't let this noises distract you from Andre's story. Tammy Nyden: So, I'm just going to ask you to introduce yourself. Tell us a little bit of who you are and then the kind of advocacy work that you do. Andre: Okay. My name is Andre Minett. I've been a social worker since about 2002. Definitely, this is what I do because this is the only thing I'm good at. Tammy: I doubt that, but, okay.Andre: So, I've been working with children especially since 2002, right from Miami, D.C., now, here in Florida. I've been doing this work kind of a long time. It's funny when I look at my resume, and then I'm like "man, I'm old." Tammy: That happens quickly. Doesn't it? Andre: Yes. My oldest son is about to turn four, my youngest son just turned two. I've been married for seven years. That's kind of the highlight of my career, really. Tammy: Right, right. Those are fun ages, too. Andre: Yes. That's where the real work begins, you know. Tammy: Yes. Andre: That's where you understand everything you have already done, you know. Tammy: That's right. Tammy: Tell us about your advocacy work. Andre: So, I've been advocating for children for a long time. You almost don't even look at it as advocacy, it's just something that you've been doing for a long time. I've been working in foster care. I began my career working in foster care and so to advocate for a lot of those kids who really didn't have parents who were able to advocate for them. I became their parent. I've been training foster parents on how to raise kids, even though, I was about twenty-two years old and telling a fifty-year-old woman – and men -  how to raise their kids. It's kind of raising their kids, raising my kids, that they have custody of. The way we kind of wanted and for them to be ready. It's kind of hard too, because, you know, you have to set a standard of how you raise your own kids. You have the ideologies and all that stuff, but, you know, when you say that to a parent, who've been spanking their kids for a long time, like "don't touch my kids", you know? Yet I do it in the most professional way as possible. But, you know, you check on them, and you do things like that. So, I've been advocating for foster children. At one point I had my own mentoring agency, where I took kids in a city who were underprivileged, and kind of raising them that way because the Foster Care System, you kind of had the whole zone, what you can do and how you can do it. Tammy: Right. Can you talk a little bit about working with the foster kids? Where are the areas were they were really needed an advocate to help them out? I'm sure there's many. Just pick a few. Andre: I mean, even in the court systems, where those custody battles of determining parental rights for adoptions. So, a lot of the foster parents and the parents, they have to kind of navigate through that and think, “look, what is the best thing for these kids?” Because that's really all came down to. It's kind of, having everyone see eye-to-eye. So the court system, you didn't have to advocate within the system of the foster care system because I was privileged to be a part of a therapeut...

In this episode, we listen to  Andre Minett, a father of two, husband, and social worker. He discusses his experience advocating for foster children and his own experience as a father with a child with health condition. Transcription ATA 5 not edited [background music] Female Speaker: Welcome to “Ask The Advocate” where mental health advocates share their journey to advocacy and what it is meant for their lives. “Ask The Advocate” is a Mothers On The Front Line production. Today we will hear from Andre Mina, a father of two, husband, and social worker. This interview was recorded at the 2017 National Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health conference in Orlando Florida. During this particular recording, you can hear music and noise in the background from another event in the hotel. Please don't let this noises distract you from Andre's story. Tammy Nyden: So, I'm just going to ask you to introduce yourself. Tell us a little bit of who you are and then the kind of advocacy work that you do. Andre: Okay. My name is Andre Minett. I've been a social worker since about 2002. Definitely, this is what I do because this is the only thing I'm good at. Tammy: I doubt that, but, okay.Andre: So, I've been working with children especially since 2002, right from Miami, D.C., now, here in Florida. I've been doing this work kind of a long time. It's funny when I look at my resume, and then I'm like "man, I'm old." Tammy: That happens quickly. Doesn't it? Andre: Yes. My oldest son is about to turn four, my youngest son just turned two. I've been married for seven years. That's kind of the highlight of my career, really. Tammy: Right, right. Those are fun ages, too. Andre: Yes. That's where the real work begins, you know. Tammy: Yes. Andre: That's where you understand everything you have already done, you know. Tammy: That's right. Tammy: Tell us about your advocacy work. Andre: So, I've been advocating for children for a long time. You almost don't even look at it as advocacy, it's just something that you've been doing for a long time. I've been working in foster care. I began my career working in foster care and so to advocate for a lot of those kids who really didn't have parents who were able to advocate for them. I became their parent. I've been training foster parents on how to raise kids, even though, I was about twenty-two years old and telling a fifty-year-old woman – and men -  how to raise their kids. It's kind of raising their kids, raising my kids, that they have custody of. The way we kind of wanted and for them to be ready. It's kind of hard too, because, you know, you have to set a standard of how you raise your own kids. You have the ideologies and all that stuff, but, you know, when you say that to a parent, who've been spanking their kids for a long time, like "don't touch my kids", you know? Yet I do it in the most professional way as possible. But, you know, you check on them, and you do things like that. So, I've been advocating for foster children. At one point I had my own mentoring agency, where I took kids in a city who were underprivileged, and kind of raising them that way because the Foster Care System, you kind of had the whole zone, what you can do and how you can do it. Tammy: Right. Can you talk a little bit about working with the foster kids? Where are the areas were they were really needed an advocate to help them out? I'm sure there's many. Just pick a few. Andre: I mean, even in the court systems, where those custody battles of determining parental rights for adoptions. So, a lot of the foster parents and the parents, they have to kind of navigate through that and think, “look, what is the best thing for these kids?” Because that's really all came down to. It's kind of, having everyone see eye-to-eye. So the court system, you didn't have to advocate within the system of the foster care system because I was privileged to be a part of a therapeut...

In this episode, we listen to  Andre Minett, a father of two, husband, and social worker. He discusses his experience advocating for foster children and his own experience as a father with a child with health condition. Transcription ATA 5 not edited [background music] Female Speaker: Welcome to “Ask The Advocate” where mental health advocates share their journey to advocacy and what it is meant for their lives. “Ask The Advocate” is a Mothers On The Front Line production. Today we will hear from Andre Mina, a father of two, husband, and social worker. This interview was recorded at the 2017 National Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health conference in Orlando Florida. During this particular recording, you can hear music and noise in the background from another event in the hotel. Please don't let this noises distract you from Andre's story. Tammy Nyden: So, I'm just going to ask you to introduce yourself. Tell us a little bit of who you are and then the kind of advocacy work that you do. Andre: Okay. My name is Andre Minett. I've been a social worker since about 2002. Definitely, this is what I do because this is the only thing I'm good at. Tammy: I doubt that, but, okay.Andre: So, I've been working with children especially since 2002, right from Miami, D.C., now, here in Florida. I've been doing this work kind of a long time. It's funny when I look at my resume, and then I'm like "man, I'm old." Tammy: That happens quickly. Doesn't it? Andre: Yes. My oldest son is about to turn four, my youngest son just turned two. I've been married for seven years. That's kind of the highlight of my career, really. Tammy: Right, right. Those are fun ages, too. Andre: Yes. That's where the real work begins, you know. Tammy: Yes. Andre: That's where you understand everything you have already done, you know. Tammy: That's right. Tammy: Tell us about your advocacy work. Andre: So, I've been advocating for children for a long time. You almost don't even look at it as advocacy, it's just something that you've been doing for a long time. I've been working in foster care. I began my career working in foster care and so to advocate for a lot of those kids who really didn't have parents who were able to advocate for them. I became their parent. I've been training foster parents on how to raise kids, even though, I was about twenty-two years old and telling a fifty-year-old woman – and men -  how to raise their kids. It's kind of raising their kids, raising my kids, that they have custody of. The way we kind of wanted and for them to be ready. It's kind of hard too, because, you know, you have to set a standard of how you raise your own kids. You have the ideologies and all that stuff, but, you know, when you say that to a parent, who've been spanking their kids for a long time, like "don't touch my kids", you know? Yet I do it in the most professional way as possible. But, you know, you check on them, and you do things like that. So, I've been advocating for foster children. At one point I had my own mentoring agency, where I took kids in a city who were underprivileged, and kind of raising them that way because the Foster Care System, you kind of had the whole zone, what you can do and how you can do it. Tammy: Right. Can you talk a little bit about working with the foster kids? Where are the areas were they were really needed an advocate to help them out? I'm sure there's many. Just pick a few. Andre: I mean, even in the court systems, where those custody battles of determining parental rights for adoptions. So, a lot of the foster parents and the parents, they have to kind of navigate through that and think, “look, what is the best thing for these kids?” Because that's really all came down to. It's kind of, having everyone see eye-to-eye. So the court system, you didn't have to advocate within the system of the foster care system because I was privileged to be a part of a therapeut...

In this episode, we listen to Cheryl who overcame and found the new Cheryl.  This mother of three shares her powerful story of overcoming trauma and serious illness to advocate for her children with special needs. Please be advised that this episode contains discussion of sexual abuse and a suicide attempt. Transcription Voiceover: Welcome to the Just Ask Mom Podcast where mothers share their experiences of raising children with mental illness. Just Ask Mom is a Mothers on the Frontline production. Today we will hear from Cheryl who overcame and found the new Cheryl. Please be advised that this interview contains some content that may be disturbing or upsetting to some of our listeners. Also, this recording was done at the 2017 National Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health Conference and there is background noise from another event taking place at the hotel. Please do not let the background noise distract you from Cheryl's story. Tammy: So hi, tell us a bit about yourself. Before outside of mothering, what are your passions your dreams? Cheryl: I'm a mother of three and my youngest had the unique passions I should say because everybody thinks that everybody have a disability. Some of them you can see it and some of them you don't. Tammy: That's right. Cheryl: My passions are education awareness and I'm learning that I have more passions as I'm going through my journey and each journey is different. My favorite thing to do, I picked up sewing crocheting and learning how to relax. Tammy: Yes. That is not so easy. Ironically it's not so easy, right? Cheryl: No, but it is and you would know why it's not easy. Tammy: That's awesome. And so I want you to pretend that you're just talking to just the general public is getting to hear what you have to say. What do you want them to know about your experience? What do you want them to understand? Cheryl: I am a 45-year-old African American and my two kids, my two oldest are 25 and 21. So the way I raised them was totally different than when I raised my 15, soon to be 16. Each of my children they saw experience of me, but my sons saw the worst. I was in an abusive relationship. I'm originally from Philadelphia but I went down south and I found out that all my life I was a caregiver and I didn't know how I'm just it doesn't mean nothing. I was taking care of me. I was taking care of my kids, I was taking care of my husband, taking care of my mom, my great aunt. You know, anybody, its just everybody would come and say, "You know how to be a caregiver". So in my bottom, in my journey, when I was going through my abusive situation with my husband I just said, "When I hit the bottom, time to go" I just up and I left thinking that my son will need counseling for me just up and left. I said, "He's going to need that because he was so young he don't need nothing" I learned that he was-- his unique gifts was coming out and I didn't know what this is or anything and nobody wouldn't tell me what it was. And I have all these questions and answers and nobody. So, my mom always taught me if you don't know do your own research. Don't believe what other people say, do your own research. Tammy: Right, good for her by the way. That is pretty awesome but go ahead. Cheryl: Yes, so I started doing my own research. I didn't know what IEP is. I didn't know why they did all these tests and everything else. The first thing I had to do is stop blaming me, I guess. As a mother that's the first thing we do is blame. Tammy: Yes it is. Cheryl: I was in a relationship. He beat on me because of that. I didn't take all my medicine, all my vitamins and everything. As that went on I found out that it wasn't. So I find out that I went to therapy. Don't think I'm crazy or nothing but I start seeing my mom and my dad. Now my mom and my dad died in 1994 and my dad died in 1981. This is now 2008 when I'm seeing and I'm actually-- they are actually talking to...

In this episode, we listen to Cheryl who overcame and found the new Cheryl.  This mother of three shares her powerful story of overcoming trauma and serious illness to advocate for her children with special needs. Please be advised that this episode contains discussion of sexual abuse and a suicide attempt. Transcription Voiceover: Welcome to the Just Ask Mom Podcast where mothers share their experiences of raising children with mental illness. Just Ask Mom is a Mothers on the Frontline production. Today we will hear from Cheryl who overcame and found the new Cheryl. Please be advised that this interview contains some content that may be disturbing or upsetting to some of our listeners. Also, this recording was done at the 2017 National Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health Conference and there is background noise from another event taking place at the hotel. Please do not let the background noise distract you from Cheryl's story. Tammy: So hi, tell us a bit about yourself. Before outside of mothering, what are your passions your dreams? Cheryl: I'm a mother of three and my youngest had the unique passions I should say because everybody thinks that everybody have a disability. Some of them you can see it and some of them you don't. Tammy: That's right. Cheryl: My passions are education awareness and I'm learning that I have more passions as I'm going through my journey and each journey is different. My favorite thing to do, I picked up sewing crocheting and learning how to relax. Tammy: Yes. That is not so easy. Ironically it's not so easy, right? Cheryl: No, but it is and you would know why it's not easy. Tammy: That's awesome. And so I want you to pretend that you're just talking to just the general public is getting to hear what you have to say. What do you want them to know about your experience? What do you want them to understand? Cheryl: I am a 45-year-old African American and my two kids, my two oldest are 25 and 21. So the way I raised them was totally different than when I raised my 15, soon to be 16. Each of my children they saw experience of me, but my sons saw the worst. I was in an abusive relationship. I'm originally from Philadelphia but I went down south and I found out that all my life I was a caregiver and I didn't know how I'm just it doesn't mean nothing. I was taking care of me. I was taking care of my kids, I was taking care of my husband, taking care of my mom, my great aunt. You know, anybody, its just everybody would come and say, "You know how to be a caregiver". So in my bottom, in my journey, when I was going through my abusive situation with my husband I just said, "When I hit the bottom, time to go" I just up and I left thinking that my son will need counseling for me just up and left. I said, "He's going to need that because he was so young he don't need nothing" I learned that he was-- his unique gifts was coming out and I didn't know what this is or anything and nobody wouldn't tell me what it was. And I have all these questions and answers and nobody. So, my mom always taught me if you don't know do your own research. Don't believe what other people say, do your own research. Tammy: Right, good for her by the way. That is pretty awesome but go ahead. Cheryl: Yes, so I started doing my own research. I didn't know what IEP is. I didn't know why they did all these tests and everything else. The first thing I had to do is stop blaming me, I guess. As a mother that's the first thing we do is blame. Tammy: Yes it is. Cheryl: I was in a relationship. He beat on me because of that. I didn't take all my medicine, all my vitamins and everything. As that went on I found out that it wasn't. So I find out that I went to therapy. Don't think I'm crazy or nothing but I start seeing my mom and my dad. Now my mom and my dad died in 1994 and my dad died in 1981. This is now 2008 when I'm seeing and I'm actually-- they are actually talking to...

In this episode, we listen to Cheryl who overcame and found the new Cheryl.  This mother of three shares her powerful story of overcoming trauma and serious illness to advocate for her children with special needs. Please be advised that this episode contains discussion of sexual abuse and a suicide attempt. Transcription Voiceover: Welcome to the Just Ask Mom Podcast where mothers share their experiences of raising children with mental illness. Just Ask Mom is a Mothers on the Frontline production. Today we will hear from Cheryl who overcame and found the new Cheryl. Please be advised that this interview contains some content that may be disturbing or upsetting to some of our listeners. Also, this recording was done at the 2017 National Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health Conference and there is background noise from another event taking place at the hotel. Please do not let the background noise distract you from Cheryl's story. Tammy: So hi, tell us a bit about yourself. Before outside of mothering, what are your passions your dreams? Cheryl: I'm a mother of three and my youngest had the unique passions I should say because everybody thinks that everybody have a disability. Some of them you can see it and some of them you don't. Tammy: That's right. Cheryl: My passions are education awareness and I'm learning that I have more passions as I'm going through my journey and each journey is different. My favorite thing to do, I picked up sewing crocheting and learning how to relax. Tammy: Yes. That is not so easy. Ironically it's not so easy, right? Cheryl: No, but it is and you would know why it's not easy. Tammy: That's awesome. And so I want you to pretend that you're just talking to just the general public is getting to hear what you have to say. What do you want them to know about your experience? What do you want them to understand? Cheryl: I am a 45-year-old African American and my two kids, my two oldest are 25 and 21. So the way I raised them was totally different than when I raised my 15, soon to be 16. Each of my children they saw experience of me, but my sons saw the worst. I was in an abusive relationship. I'm originally from Philadelphia but I went down south and I found out that all my life I was a caregiver and I didn't know how I'm just it doesn't mean nothing. I was taking care of me. I was taking care of my kids, I was taking care of my husband, taking care of my mom, my great aunt. You know, anybody, its just everybody would come and say, "You know how to be a caregiver". So in my bottom, in my journey, when I was going through my abusive situation with my husband I just said, "When I hit the bottom, time to go" I just up and I left thinking that my son will need counseling for me just up and left. I said, "He's going to need that because he was so young he don't need nothing" I learned that he was-- his unique gifts was coming out and I didn't know what this is or anything and nobody wouldn’t tell me what it was. And I have all these questions and answers and nobody. So, my mom always taught me if you don't know do your own research. Don't believe what other people say, do your own research. Tammy: Right, good for her by the way. That is pretty awesome but go ahead. Cheryl: Yes, so I started doing my own research. I didn't know what IEP is. I didn't know why they did all these tests and everything else. The first thing I had to do is stop blaming me, I guess. As a mother that's the first thing we do is blame. Tammy: Yes it is. Cheryl: I was in a relationship. He beat on me because of that. I didn't take all my medicine, all my vitamins and everything. As that went on I found out that it wasn't. So I find out that I went to therapy. Don't think I'm crazy or nothing but I start seeing my mom and my dad. Now my mom and my dad died in 1994 and my dad died in 1981. This is now 2008 when I'm seeing and I'm actually-- they are actually talking to...

In this episode, we listen to Suzette Southfox, a Southern California parent of a 19 year-old son with depression, anxiety and Autism Spectrum Disorder. She tells us about her over ten-year journey with children's mental health. She discusses the importance of honoring the strength of our children and others with depression who fight each day to get out of bed. Transcription Voice Over: Welcome to the Just Ask Mom podcast, where mother shared their experiences of raising children with mental illness. Just Ask Mom is a Mothers On The Frontline production. Today, we will listen to Suzette Southfox, a Southern California parent who lives with her 19-year-old son who has depression, anxiety, and autism spectrum disorder. She has been on the Children's Mental Health journey for over ten years now. This interview took place at the 2017 National Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health conference. Tammy: Just tell us a bit about yourself. Suzette : Sure. My name is Suzette. I am a tired mom. I work in the Behavioral Health Field in Southern California. I'm an artist and I'm a writer and a performer. I love to communicate and chat with folks and and create art when I can. Don't get a lot of chance to do that these days but that's really what brings me joy. Tammy: Oh, that's really great. That's awesome. What kind of art you do? Suzette: I do a lot of reflective art. I do a lot of spoken word poetry. Tammy: Oh, wonderful. Yeah. Suzette: I do spoken word but I don't have a whole lot of time to do that. I recently did something for a friend of mine who was just ordained as a Unitarian Universalist minister and I was, I was honored to be part of the ordination and I got to do this, it was fun. Tammy: That's exciting. That's awesome. I want you to pretend that you're talking to parents who are just beginning the journey. They just received the diagnosis for their child of a mental  health condition or maybe they even haven't discovered a name for what is going on yet, they're just trying to figure out how to help their child. What would you say to people with that experience based on what you go through? Suzette: That's a wonderful question and out of all the people that I would like to talk to  - and there are  many, many that I would like to speak with - the family that's really finding themselves newly in the world of childhood mental health and behavioral health issues, I would love to talk to them and I would love to tell them that they're not alone even though they feel like they're alone. They're in a very special club which is one that not a lot of people want to join, but they find themselves in. Tammy: Right. Suzette: One of the things that I did not get early on and my son was diagnosed around nine or ten years old with ruled out pediatric bipolar disorder and things were very difficult. It wasn't until he was 16 when the psychiatrist said, "Was he ever tested for autism?" We said, "Are you kidding me?" So, people, weren't asking the right questions, but once we found ourselves in the world of IEP's and special ed programs and all of this, we never met another parent. None of the programs ever had, "Here's information for your parent," or you would think that the psychiatrist or the psychologist would say, "Here's your brochure. Welcome to the world of pediatric mental illness. Here is your road map." They don't give you one. Tammy: Absolutely not. Suzette: No, they don't and if you're lucky enough to have someone with lived experience, you may get a road map but it's so challenging. Finding those other parents and finding what is available is so difficult when you're dealing with just the stress and the crisis. I was shocked to learn in my area that there was a whole guide for all of the programs and services but it was for other providers. It wasn't for families and it took me to get into working in the field to actually discover this.

In this episode, we listen to Suzette Southfox, a Southern California parent of a 19 year-old son with depression, anxiety and Autism Spectrum Disorder. She tells us about her over ten-year journey with children's mental health. She discusses the importance of honoring the strength of our children and others with depression who fight each day to get out of bed. Transcription Voice Over: Welcome to the Just Ask Mom podcast, where mother shared their experiences of raising children with mental illness. Just Ask Mom is a Mothers On The Frontline production. Today, we will listen to Suzette Southfox, a Southern California parent who lives with her 19-year-old son who has depression, anxiety, and autism spectrum disorder. She has been on the Children's Mental Health journey for over ten years now. This interview took place at the 2017 National Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health conference. Tammy: Just tell us a bit about yourself. Suzette : Sure. My name is Suzette. I am a tired mom. I work in the Behavioral Health Field in Southern California. I'm an artist and I'm a writer and a performer. I love to communicate and chat with folks and and create art when I can. Don't get a lot of chance to do that these days but that's really what brings me joy. Tammy: Oh, that's really great. That's awesome. What kind of art you do? Suzette: I do a lot of reflective art. I do a lot of spoken word poetry. Tammy: Oh, wonderful. Yeah. Suzette: I do spoken word but I don't have a whole lot of time to do that. I recently did something for a friend of mine who was just ordained as a Unitarian Universalist minister and I was, I was honored to be part of the ordination and I got to do this, it was fun. Tammy: That's exciting. That's awesome. I want you to pretend that you're talking to parents who are just beginning the journey. They just received the diagnosis for their child of a mental  health condition or maybe they even haven't discovered a name for what is going on yet, they're just trying to figure out how to help their child. What would you say to people with that experience based on what you go through? Suzette: That's a wonderful question and out of all the people that I would like to talk to  - and there are  many, many that I would like to speak with - the family that's really finding themselves newly in the world of childhood mental health and behavioral health issues, I would love to talk to them and I would love to tell them that they're not alone even though they feel like they're alone. They're in a very special club which is one that not a lot of people want to join, but they find themselves in. Tammy: Right. Suzette: One of the things that I did not get early on and my son was diagnosed around nine or ten years old with ruled out pediatric bipolar disorder and things were very difficult. It wasn't until he was 16 when the psychiatrist said, "Was he ever tested for autism?" We said, "Are you kidding me?" So, people, weren't asking the right questions, but once we found ourselves in the world of IEP's and special ed programs and all of this, we never met another parent. None of the programs ever had, "Here's information for your parent," or you would think that the psychiatrist or the psychologist would say, "Here's your brochure. Welcome to the world of pediatric mental illness. Here is your road map." They don't give you one. Tammy: Absolutely not. Suzette: No, they don't and if you're lucky enough to have someone with lived experience, you may get a road map but it's so challenging. Finding those other parents and finding what is available is so difficult when you're dealing with just the stress and the crisis. I was shocked to learn in my area that there was a whole guide for all of the programs and services but it was for other providers. It wasn't for families and it took me to get into working in the field to actually discover this.

In this episode, we listen to Suzette Southfox, a Southern California parent of a 19 year-old son with depression, anxiety and Autism Spectrum Disorder. She tells us about her over ten-year journey with children's mental health. She discusses the importance of honoring the strength of our children and others with depression who fight each day to get out of bed. Transcription Voice Over: Welcome to the Just Ask Mom podcast, where mother shared their experiences of raising children with mental illness. Just Ask Mom is a Mothers On The Frontline production. Today, we will listen to Suzette Southfox, a Southern California parent who lives with her 19-year-old son who has depression, anxiety, and autism spectrum disorder. She has been on the Children's Mental Health journey for over ten years now. This interview took place at the 2017 National Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health conference. Tammy: Just tell us a bit about yourself. Suzette : Sure. My name is Suzette. I am a tired mom. I work in the Behavioral Health Field in Southern California. I'm an artist and I'm a writer and a performer. I love to communicate and chat with folks and and create art when I can. Don't get a lot of chance to do that these days but that's really what brings me joy. Tammy: Oh, that’s really great. That's awesome. What kind of art you do? Suzette: I do a lot of reflective art. I do a lot of spoken word poetry. Tammy: Oh, wonderful. Yeah. Suzette: I do spoken word but I don't have a whole lot of time to do that. I recently did something for a friend of mine who was just ordained as a Unitarian Universalist minister and I was, I was honored to be part of the ordination and I got to do this, it was fun. Tammy: That's exciting. That's awesome. I want you to pretend that you're talking to parents who are just beginning the journey. They just received the diagnosis for their child of a mental  health condition or maybe they even haven't discovered a name for what is going on yet, they're just trying to figure out how to help their child. What would you say to people with that experience based on what you go through? Suzette: That's a wonderful question and out of all the people that I would like to talk to  - and there are  many, many that I would like to speak with - the family that's really finding themselves newly in the world of childhood mental health and behavioral health issues, I would love to talk to them and I would love to tell them that they're not alone even though they feel like they're alone. They're in a very special club which is one that not a lot of people want to join, but they find themselves in. Tammy: Right. Suzette: One of the things that I did not get early on and my son was diagnosed around nine or ten years old with ruled out pediatric bipolar disorder and things were very difficult. It wasn't until he was 16 when the psychiatrist said, "Was he ever tested for autism?" We said, "Are you kidding me?" So, people, weren’t asking the right questions, but once we found ourselves in the world of IEP's and special ed programs and all of this, we never met another parent. None of the programs ever had, "Here's information for your parent," or you would think that the psychiatrist or the psychologist would say, "Here's your brochure. Welcome to the world of pediatric mental illness. Here is your road map." They don't give you one. Tammy: Absolutely not. Suzette: No, they don't and if you're lucky enough to have someone with lived experience, you may get a road map but it's so challenging. Finding those other parents and finding what is available is so difficult when you're dealing with just the stress and the crisis. I was shocked to learn in my area that there was a whole guide for all of the programs and services but it was for other providers. It wasn't for families and it took me to get into working in the field to actually discover this.

In this episode, we listen to Shanta, a mother of three, clinician, advocate and proponent of self-care. She discusses raising a daughter who struggles mood disorder and suicidal ideation. Transcription [Music plays] Voice over: Welcome to “Ask the Advocate” where mental health advocates share their journey to advocacy and what it is meant for their lives. “Ask the Advocate” is a Mothers On The Frontline production. Today, we will listen to Shanta, a mother of three, clinician and advocate. This interview was recorded at the 2017 National Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health Conference in Orlando, Florida. During this particular recording, you can hear music and noise in the background from another event at the hotel. Please don't let these noises distract you from Shanta's story. Dionne: I want to say thank you very much-- Shanta Hayes: Thank you for having me. Dionne: -- for agreeing to the interview, especially, on the spot. Would you like to introduce yourself? Shanta: Hi. My name is Shanta Hayes. I'm a MSW, a mother of three, an advocate and proponent of self-care. Dionne: Oh, proponent of self-care. We have to talk about that. So, Shanta, tell us a little bit about your advocacy journey. Your mom-advocate journey. Shanta: My middle daughter is 14 years old and we started noticing some things that were just not quite right or on par with her developmental milestones. And so, we took her to the pediatrician. “Oh, everything is fine and it's well within norms.” And it was well within norms for a while until it wasn't. And then it started to manifest itself behaviorally. But what we found out eventually was that she has a diagnosis of ADHD and major depressive disorder. Her diagnosis have led to some challenges in school for her and that's how we first noticed it. We noticed she was having trouble getting her homework done and she was having trouble sleeping. She was having trouble just understanding the material and we thought, "Whoa! What's going on?" So, we've moved from a diagnosis of ADHD and major depressive disorder to now. We also know she has some processing issues. So, after we visit the psychologist and we've done all the testing, it's like, okay, she has some working memory issues and those things aren't necessarily solved with medication or behavior plans. So, we're now going to the neurologist and checking with the endocrinologist to make sure it's nothing hormonal. But the thing is my advocacy journey is always making sure my child is first in knowing, letting her know that we will put her needs first but that we'll also take into consideration how she's feeling. So, therapy-- we go to therapy for the depression. But she's not a fan of talk therapy. So, we're looking at other therapies now. It's like, okay, drama therapy, play therapy because those are modalities that she's really interested in. Because I need her to know that even though I'm the one making-- setting the appointments, she's the one going to the appointments. And if she's not engaging in one way, we need to find a way that works for her. So, we talk to her and we ask her, "What do you want to do? How can we make this work for you?" So, I'm letting even my 14-year old child know that her health is in her hands. Dionne: This is the self-care advocacy. Shanta: So, I need her to be an advocate for her health. I want her to know that she has a say I think a lot of people don't take that into consideration. I think we try and force a lot of different therapies or medications on our children and we're not really listening. We need to be very aware of how we allow them to engage in their own medical mental health. So, that they don't develop a sense of “I have no choice in this process”. And that's how we work with her. Dionne: So, you said you have a MSW. Did it precede or did this come along with your journey with your daughter? First of all, tell me a little bit about who you were before you became m...

In this episode, we listen to Shanta, a mother of three, clinician, advocate and proponent of self-care. She discusses raising a daughter who struggles mood disorder and suicidal ideation. Transcription [Music plays] Voice over: Welcome to “Ask the Advocate” where mental health advocates share their journey to advocacy and what it is meant for their lives. “Ask the Advocate” is a Mothers On The Frontline production. Today, we will listen to Shanta, a mother of three, clinician and advocate. This interview was recorded at the 2017 National Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health Conference in Orlando, Florida. During this particular recording, you can hear music and noise in the background from another event at the hotel. Please don't let these noises distract you from Shanta's story. Dionne: I want to say thank you very much-- Shanta Hayes: Thank you for having me. Dionne: -- for agreeing to the interview, especially, on the spot. Would you like to introduce yourself? Shanta: Hi. My name is Shanta Hayes. I'm a MSW, a mother of three, an advocate and proponent of self-care. Dionne: Oh, proponent of self-care. We have to talk about that. So, Shanta, tell us a little bit about your advocacy journey. Your mom-advocate journey. Shanta: My middle daughter is 14 years old and we started noticing some things that were just not quite right or on par with her developmental milestones. And so, we took her to the pediatrician. “Oh, everything is fine and it's well within norms.” And it was well within norms for a while until it wasn't. And then it started to manifest itself behaviorally. But what we found out eventually was that she has a diagnosis of ADHD and major depressive disorder. Her diagnosis have led to some challenges in school for her and that's how we first noticed it. We noticed she was having trouble getting her homework done and she was having trouble sleeping. She was having trouble just understanding the material and we thought, "Whoa! What's going on?" So, we've moved from a diagnosis of ADHD and major depressive disorder to now. We also know she has some processing issues. So, after we visit the psychologist and we've done all the testing, it's like, okay, she has some working memory issues and those things aren't necessarily solved with medication or behavior plans. So, we're now going to the neurologist and checking with the endocrinologist to make sure it's nothing hormonal. But the thing is my advocacy journey is always making sure my child is first in knowing, letting her know that we will put her needs first but that we'll also take into consideration how she's feeling. So, therapy-- we go to therapy for the depression. But she's not a fan of talk therapy. So, we're looking at other therapies now. It's like, okay, drama therapy, play therapy because those are modalities that she's really interested in. Because I need her to know that even though I'm the one making-- setting the appointments, she's the one going to the appointments. And if she's not engaging in one way, we need to find a way that works for her. So, we talk to her and we ask her, "What do you want to do? How can we make this work for you?" So, I'm letting even my 14-year old child know that her health is in her hands. Dionne: This is the self-care advocacy. Shanta: So, I need her to be an advocate for her health. I want her to know that she has a say I think a lot of people don't take that into consideration. I think we try and force a lot of different therapies or medications on our children and we're not really listening. We need to be very aware of how we allow them to engage in their own medical mental health. So, that they don't develop a sense of “I have no choice in this process”. And that's how we work with her. Dionne: So, you said you have a MSW. Did it precede or did this come along with your journey with your daughter? First of all, tell me a little bit about who you were before you became m...

In this episode, we listen to Shanta, a mother of three, clinician, advocate and proponent of self-care. She discusses raising a daughter who struggles mood disorder and suicidal ideation. Transcription [Music plays] Voice over: Welcome to “Ask the Advocate” where mental health advocates share their journey to advocacy and what it is meant for their lives. “Ask the Advocate” is a Mothers On The Frontline production. Today, we will listen to Shanta, a mother of three, clinician and advocate. This interview was recorded at the 2017 National Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health Conference in Orlando, Florida. During this particular recording, you can hear music and noise in the background from another event at the hotel. Please don't let these noises distract you from Shanta's story. Dionne: I want to say thank you very much-- Shanta Hayes: Thank you for having me. Dionne: -- for agreeing to the interview, especially, on the spot. Would you like to introduce yourself? Shanta: Hi. My name is Shanta Hayes. I'm a MSW, a mother of three, an advocate and proponent of self-care. Dionne: Oh, proponent of self-care. We have to talk about that. So, Shanta, tell us a little bit about your advocacy journey. Your mom-advocate journey. Shanta: My middle daughter is 14 years old and we started noticing some things that were just not quite right or on par with her developmental milestones. And so, we took her to the pediatrician. “Oh, everything is fine and it's well within norms.” And it was well within norms for a while until it wasn't. And then it started to manifest itself behaviorally. But what we found out eventually was that she has a diagnosis of ADHD and major depressive disorder. Her diagnosis have led to some challenges in school for her and that's how we first noticed it. We noticed she was having trouble getting her homework done and she was having trouble sleeping. She was having trouble just understanding the material and we thought, "Whoa! What's going on?" So, we've moved from a diagnosis of ADHD and major depressive disorder to now. We also know she has some processing issues. So, after we visit the psychologist and we've done all the testing, it's like, okay, she has some working memory issues and those things aren't necessarily solved with medication or behavior plans. So, we're now going to the neurologist and checking with the endocrinologist to make sure it's nothing hormonal. But the thing is my advocacy journey is always making sure my child is first in knowing, letting her know that we will put her needs first but that we'll also take into consideration how she's feeling. So, therapy-- we go to therapy for the depression. But she's not a fan of talk therapy. So, we're looking at other therapies now. It's like, okay, drama therapy, play therapy because those are modalities that she's really interested in. Because I need her to know that even though I'm the one making-- setting the appointments, she's the one going to the appointments. And if she's not engaging in one way, we need to find a way that works for her. So, we talk to her and we ask her, "What do you want to do? How can we make this work for you?" So, I'm letting even my 14-year old child know that her health is in her hands. Dionne: This is the self-care advocacy. Shanta: So, I need her to be an advocate for her health. I want her to know that she has a say I think a lot of people don't take that into consideration. I think we try and force a lot of different therapies or medications on our children and we're not really listening. We need to be very aware of how we allow them to engage in their own medical mental health. So, that they don't develop a sense of “I have no choice in this process”. And that's how we work with her. Dionne: So, you said you have a MSW. Did it precede or did this come along with your journey with your daughter? First of all, tell me a little bit about who you were before you became m...

In this episode, we listen to an advocate with MomBiz Boss and a mother of children who experience developmental and mental health challenges. She speaks about being a mother of color and the experiences of raising children with both visible and invisible disabilities. Advocacy organizations discussed in the Podcast: National Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health - A national family-run organization linking more than 120 chapters and state organizations focused on the issues of children and youth with emotional, behavioral, or mental health needs and their families. It was conceived in Arlington, Virginia in February, 1989 by a group of 18 people determined to make a difference in the way the system works. https://www.ffcmh.org/ Younger Years and Beyond - A local chapter of National Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health that focuses on mental health and behavioral health challenges for children starting at pre-school through beyond. https://www.facebook.com/theyoungeryearsandbeyond/ Zaria's Song - We Provide Support & Resources to Parents and Caregivers with Children Experiencing Physical, Cognitive, Behavioral and Mental Health Challenge http://ateducational.wixsite.com/zariassong   Transcription [music background] Women's Voice: Welcome to “Ask the Advocate” where mental health advocates share their journeys to advocacy and what it has meant for their lives. “Ask the Advocate” is a Mothers on the Frontline production. Today, we will hear from Shanta, a mother of three, a clinician, and an advocate. This interview was recorded at the 2017 National Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health Conference in Orlando, Florida. During this recording, you can hear noise in the background from another event in the hotel. Please don't let these noises distract you from Shanta's story. Dionne: Hello. Thank you very much for agreeing to do this. Would you like to introduce yourself? Teresa: Sure. Thank you very much for having me. I'm Teresa Wright Johnson, and I will say that I'm a mother first and then an advocate. I believe motherhood is very challenging as a business, so I'm kind of known as an advocate and a MOMBiz Boss, and we'll talk about that later. But I'm a mom of children that were born with developmental challenges as well as physical challenges and children that have mental health challenges, learning disabilities, and more. And I advocate for them. Dionne: And you advocate for them. So Teresa, tell us a little bit about your advocacy journey. Teresa: So my journey began-- I'm the mother of four children. I bore four children. Unfortunately-- but still, fortunately, have one living child. So I had several children that died very early on when they were born. And then my other two children were also preemies. In coming-- you know this is November. This is National Pre-maturity Birth Month-- Awareness Month. A lot of people don't know that. And with premature children, sometimes you have greater risk factors. And some of the risk factors that happened and that were indicated with my first child who was Zaria-- and I have do so much for Zaria in her name. She was born with various disabilities, more physical and cognitive. She had cerebral palsy as well as metabolic disorders like mitochondrial syndrome. She also had seizures, low-birth weight, feeding issues, mobility issues, just so many different issues. But guess what? That did not sway me. I wanted to be a mother. And once I found out I was going to be a mother to Zaria, I started to getting training at the hospital-- Dionne: Oh, wow, Teresa: -- so that I could be the best advocate for her. So over the years with Zaria, I started my own support group for mothers of color called Special Treasures, because I feel that our children are not just special-needs children. They are special treasures. They are treasures that open us up, expand us, push us way beyond our comfort zones, and stuff.

In this episode, we listen to an advocate with MomBiz Boss and a mother of children who experience developmental and mental health challenges. She speaks about being a mother of color and the experiences of raising children with both visible and invisible disabilities. Advocacy organizations discussed in the Podcast: National Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health - A national family-run organization linking more than 120 chapters and state organizations focused on the issues of children and youth with emotional, behavioral, or mental health needs and their families. It was conceived in Arlington, Virginia in February, 1989 by a group of 18 people determined to make a difference in the way the system works. https://www.ffcmh.org/ Younger Years and Beyond - A local chapter of National Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health that focuses on mental health and behavioral health challenges for children starting at pre-school through beyond. https://www.facebook.com/theyoungeryearsandbeyond/ Zaria's Song - We Provide Support & Resources to Parents and Caregivers with Children Experiencing Physical, Cognitive, Behavioral and Mental Health Challenge http://ateducational.wixsite.com/zariassong   Transcription [music background] Women's Voice: Welcome to “Ask the Advocate” where mental health advocates share their journeys to advocacy and what it has meant for their lives. “Ask the Advocate” is a Mothers on the Frontline production. Today, we will hear from Shanta, a mother of three, a clinician, and an advocate. This interview was recorded at the 2017 National Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health Conference in Orlando, Florida. During this recording, you can hear noise in the background from another event in the hotel. Please don't let these noises distract you from Shanta's story. Dionne: Hello. Thank you very much for agreeing to do this. Would you like to introduce yourself? Teresa: Sure. Thank you very much for having me. I'm Teresa Wright Johnson, and I will say that I'm a mother first and then an advocate. I believe motherhood is very challenging as a business, so I'm kind of known as an advocate and a MOMBiz Boss, and we'll talk about that later. But I'm a mom of children that were born with developmental challenges as well as physical challenges and children that have mental health challenges, learning disabilities, and more. And I advocate for them. Dionne: And you advocate for them. So Teresa, tell us a little bit about your advocacy journey. Teresa: So my journey began-- I'm the mother of four children. I bore four children. Unfortunately-- but still, fortunately, have one living child. So I had several children that died very early on when they were born. And then my other two children were also preemies. In coming-- you know this is November. This is National Pre-maturity Birth Month-- Awareness Month. A lot of people don't know that. And with premature children, sometimes you have greater risk factors. And some of the risk factors that happened and that were indicated with my first child who was Zaria-- and I have do so much for Zaria in her name. She was born with various disabilities, more physical and cognitive. She had cerebral palsy as well as metabolic disorders like mitochondrial syndrome. She also had seizures, low-birth weight, feeding issues, mobility issues, just so many different issues. But guess what? That did not sway me. I wanted to be a mother. And once I found out I was going to be a mother to Zaria, I started to getting training at the hospital-- Dionne: Oh, wow, Teresa: -- so that I could be the best advocate for her. So over the years with Zaria, I started my own support group for mothers of color called Special Treasures, because I feel that our children are not just special-needs children. They are special treasures. They are treasures that open us up, expand us, push us way beyond our comfort zones, and stuff.

In this episode, we listen to an advocate with MomBiz Boss and a mother of children who experience developmental and mental health challenges. She speaks about being a mother of color and the experiences of raising children with both visible and invisible disabilities. Advocacy organizations discussed in the Podcast: National Federation of Families for Children’s Mental Health - A national family-run organization linking more than 120 chapters and state organizations focused on the issues of children and youth with emotional, behavioral, or mental health needs and their families. It was conceived in Arlington, Virginia in February, 1989 by a group of 18 people determined to make a difference in the way the system works. https://www.ffcmh.org/ Younger Years and Beyond - A local chapter of National Federation of Families for Children’s Mental Health that focuses on mental health and behavioral health challenges for children starting at pre-school through beyond. https://www.facebook.com/theyoungeryearsandbeyond/ Zaria’s Song - We Provide Support & Resources to Parents and Caregivers with Children Experiencing Physical, Cognitive, Behavioral and Mental Health Challenge http://ateducational.wixsite.com/zariassong   Transcription [music background] Women’s Voice: Welcome to “Ask the Advocate” where mental health advocates share their journeys to advocacy and what it has meant for their lives. “Ask the Advocate” is a Mothers on the Frontline production. Today, we will hear from Shanta, a mother of three, a clinician, and an advocate. This interview was recorded at the 2017 National Federation of Families for Children's Mental Health Conference in Orlando, Florida. During this recording, you can hear noise in the background from another event in the hotel. Please don't let these noises distract you from Shanta's story. Dionne: Hello. Thank you very much for agreeing to do this. Would you like to introduce yourself? Teresa: Sure. Thank you very much for having me. I'm Teresa Wright Johnson, and I will say that I'm a mother first and then an advocate. I believe motherhood is very challenging as a business, so I'm kind of known as an advocate and a MOMBiz Boss, and we'll talk about that later. But I'm a mom of children that were born with developmental challenges as well as physical challenges and children that have mental health challenges, learning disabilities, and more. And I advocate for them. Dionne: And you advocate for them. So Teresa, tell us a little bit about your advocacy journey. Teresa: So my journey began-- I'm the mother of four children. I bore four children. Unfortunately-- but still, fortunately, have one living child. So I had several children that died very early on when they were born. And then my other two children were also preemies. In coming-- you know this is November. This is National Pre-maturity Birth Month-- Awareness Month. A lot of people don't know that. And with premature children, sometimes you have greater risk factors. And some of the risk factors that happened and that were indicated with my first child who was Zaria-- and I have do so much for Zaria in her name. She was born with various disabilities, more physical and cognitive. She had cerebral palsy as well as metabolic disorders like mitochondrial syndrome. She also had seizures, low-birth weight, feeding issues, mobility issues, just so many different issues. But guess what? That did not sway me. I wanted to be a mother. And once I found out I was going to be a mother to Zaria, I started to getting training at the hospital-- Dionne: Oh, wow, Teresa: -- so that I could be the best advocate for her. So over the years with Zaria, I started my own support group for mothers of color called Special Treasures, because I feel that our children are not just special-needs children. They are special treasures. They are treasures that open us up, expand us, push us way beyond our comfort zones, and stuff.