Paul Elmore

This week, we’re putting all the pieces together and inviting people to share their own stories. They’ll be applying all the tools and resources we’ve talked about in previous weeks and stepping out of their comfort zones in order to gain freedom from their own stories of anxiety. The post Peace In Anxiety—Week 5 appeared first on Paul Elmore.

This week, we’re wrestling with one of the biggest issues of anxiety… injustice. You’ll hear the story of my motorcycle accident, and what we’re supposed to do when we face blatant injustice. The post Peace In Anxiety—Week 4 appeared first on Paul Elmore.

In the previous weeks, we looked at all the ways you can alleviate the SYMPTOMS of anxiety. In this episode, we’re taking a deep dive and looking at a way to address the core issue of anxiety and how making a change in your belief system you might actually become free of anxiety all together. The post Peace In Anxiety—Week 3 appeared first on Paul Elmore.

Last week we learned what anxiety is and where it comes from. We also looked at a lot of techniques people use to address the symptoms of anxiety without ever dealing with the core. This week we look at a different type of technique that seems a little odd at first but has proven to […] The post Peace In Anxiety—Week 2 appeared first on Paul Elmore.

If you suffer from anxiety, you know how much it robs you of joy and happiness every day. Basically, anxiety really sucks. This is the first week of a six-week series, and in this episode we look at everything about anxiety including ways to get rid of it (beyond deep breathing and funny yoga poses). […] The post Peace In Anxiety—Week 1 appeared first on Paul Elmore.

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When challenging our toxic stories we have to learn new ways of making decisions. That’s where the Magic Question comes in. With this one question, you’ll be able to stop wasting your limited time, energy, and emotional resources on things that have kept you stuck. In This Episode You’ll learn the magic question that clarifies […] The post UNLIMITED Podcast—Week 4: The Magic Question appeared first on Paul Elmore.

There are some things that, despite what you think or believe, you just can’t (or shouldn’t) do. Gravity for instance. No matter what we believe, we will still be restricted by the laws of gravity. In This Episode We look at the three questions to determine if what you’re facing is a limiting belief or […] The post UNLIMITED Podcast—Week 3: Limiting Beliefs or Real Limitations appeared first on Paul Elmore.

In every epic story, the hero is directed by a Guide. Dumbledore, Gandalf, Yoda, Haymitch… all of these Guides have one purpose—to equip the hero with the necessary tools and skills to overcome the obstacle. If the Guide is such an important character in story, why do we try so hard to change on our […] The post UNLIMITED Podcast—Week 2: Finding Your Guide appeared first on Paul Elmore.

Each of us have had parents, family, teachers, friends, even strangers implant painful stories about our worth, value, and abilities into our lives. Without knowing it, we continue to allow those limiting beliefs and toxic messages to rule our reality until we feel worthless, hopeless, frustrated, and stuck. If you know that you want to […] The post UNLIMITED Podcast—Week 1: Do You Believe You Can Change appeared first on Paul Elmore.

Like an old-school hammer, gratitude is not a complex tool. But when learned how to be used correctly, it can get a lot done in a short amount of time. What To Listen For In This Episode Specific Q&A from last week’s topic of being hurt by the church. An experiential exercise in messages we […] The post Podcast—”Why, God?”: Week 6—Gratitude appeared first on Paul Elmore.

When people are hurting, the church is often one of the first places they turn to find hope, comfort, and answers. Unfortunately, those things are not always readily available because of fallibility of leaders, pastors, and believers in general. Instead of finding comfort, pain in compounded. There is still hope. There are ways to appropriately […] The post Podcast—”Why, God?”: Week 5—What To Do When You’ve Been Hurt By The Church appeared first on Paul Elmore.

When things don’t go your way, it’s normal to be angry, frustrated, confused, or resentful. What you DO with those feelings either help you process through those feelings or get stuck in them longer. You may have learned that getting angry at ANYONE is not acceptable, especially God. Or you may never have learned HOW […] The post Podcast—”Why, God?”: Week4—What To Do When You’re Angry At Or Doubting God appeared first on Paul Elmore.

Trauma has a significant impact on how we see and understand the world. It affects your deeply held beliefs about what is safe and what is dangerous. To keep yourself feeling safe, it’s common to construct tight restrictions and self-protective strategies to mitigate any potential harm. While this works, it also keeps you stuck in […] The post Podcast—”Why, God?”: Week3—The Impact of Trauma On Faith Development appeared first on Paul Elmore.

“It is because the meaning of life in the United States is the pursuit of pleasure and personal freedom that suffering is so traumatic for Americans.”—Dr. Paul Brand in The Gift of Pain When happiness becomes your ultimate goal, you start to create expectations that will NEVER be able to be fulfilled. Finding comfort and security […] The post Podcast—”Why, God?”: Week 2—Happiness & Your Expectations of God appeared first on Paul Elmore.

Our world right now is extremely painful. Tragic events, confusion, chaos, fear, and anger are running rampant. Add in the personal pain of failed marriages, trauma, abuse, and crisis and life can feel completely hopeless, leaving us to ask “Why, God?” In this, the first episode of the seven week series, we look at how […] The post Podcast—”Why, God?”: Week 1—Football, Calvinball, and Chess appeared first on Paul Elmore.

We are designed to heal. We are not supposed to stay wounded and broken forever. When you get a physical wound, as long as there is no debris or infection in the wound, it will heal, often leaving a scar. Our hearts and souls are also supposed to heal when wounded. Healing has a natural, […] The post My Philosophy of Healing appeared first on Paul Elmore.

You’ve made it to the final episode of the seven week STUCK series. Well done. In this episode we spend just a few minutes going over the previous week’s objections and then fielding a variety of questions from the audience. If you have questions regarding anything you’ve heard, feel free to leave a question in […] The post STUCK Podcast—Week 7: Relationship Priorities and Q & A appeared first on Paul Elmore.

  In this, the next-to-the-last episode of the STUCK podcast series, we look at the radical idea of loving those that have hurt you as a way of getting UnSTUCK. We look at the origins of this idea, how it’s played out in the media, and, most importantly, why we, as normal human beings, have […] The post STUCK Podcast—Week 6: Why “Loving Thine Enemy” Makes Sense appeared first on Paul Elmore.

Your emotional state—also known as your state mind—is THE #1 determinant of success in your daily life. When you’re triggered by things like hunger, pain, fear, or discouragement, trying to accomplish important things seems impossible. In this episode of the STUCK Podcast series, we do things a little differently and play around with changing our […] The post STUCK Podcast—Week 5: What State Do You Live In? appeared first on Paul Elmore.

If you believe something can’t be done, you devote less effort trying to make it happen. This makes sense if you’re trying to defy the laws of gravity—it’s probably a good thing to move on and invest your energy in something else. But if the impossible thing IS possible, like getting a new job, or […] The post STUCK Podcast—Week 4: The Banister Effect And Doing The Impossible appeared first on Paul Elmore.

In this episode, we look at the second of three main causes of being STUCK—Curses and blessings… better known as the Pygmalion Effect. Many times, people’s opinions of you affect your self-concept and determine how successful or limited you feel and act. What To Listen For In This Podcast  A recap and real-time example of […] The post STUCK Podcast—Week 3: Curses, Blessings And The Pygmalion Effect appeared first on Paul Elmore.

In this, the second of seven podcast on being STUCK (and more importantly, how to get UnSTUCK) we look at The Trauma Cycle… one of the three common reasons you might be feeling like you can’t get where you want to be in life. Because it affects you at such a deep, core level, trauma is one […] The post STUCK Podcast—Week2: How Trauma Keeps You Stuck (And How To Get Out Of It) appeared first on Paul Elmore.

Sometimes we all feel STUCK. We don’t like where we are, what we are, or who we are. But you also may not be sure how to get UnSTUCK. That’s what this series is all about. This is the first of seven podcasts exploring how to ACTUALLY promote change in your life and how to take […] The post STUCK Podcast—Week 1: Why Do You Get STUCK In The First Place appeared first on Paul Elmore.

The biggest question I got from last week’s episode was “HOW do you go from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset?” It’s not easy to change, but it IS possible. Since a fixed mindset usually is learned through experiences, the way you change is intentionally create new experiences for yourself that will challenge the […] The post Failure201: Week 6—How To Move From A Fixed Mindset To A Growth Mindset appeared first on Paul Elmore.

Events are inherently neutral. It is your perspective that determines if something is good or bad. The good news is (actually, it’s REALLY good news) is that you have full control over your perspective of events and experiences of life. YOU get to determine how you move through life. Sometimes, perspectives change. Think back to […] The post Failure201: Week 5—Fixed vs. Growth Mindset appeared first on Paul Elmore.

There are no easy answers when it comes to grieving. There is no way to escape certain levels of pain. And grieving can not be reduced to a simple formula. At it’s very root, grieving is wrestling with the bigger question of pain. Why do we have to endure pain in this world? Why do […] The post Failure201: Week 4—Grieving: What To Do When Things Can’t Be Fixed appeared first on Paul Elmore.

  You’ve heard that forgiveness is an important step in the healing process. But HOW to forgive is not always as clear. In this episode we look at the 4 Steps to Forgiveness. Identifying the injury and its impact—How did you get hurt? What does it cost you? What is the long term impact? Making […] The post Failure201: Week 3—4 Steps to Forgiveness appeared first on Paul Elmore.

In this episode we go over several of the primary topics covered in Failure101 including the purpose of failure, shame vs. Guilt, and Forgiveness. Three Things to Listen For Mistakes are okay, survivable, and necessary for me to grow. Mistakes are an event, NOT a person. Forgiveness is a necessary part of failure in order to […] The post Failure201: Week 2—Failure, Shame vs. Guilt, and Forgiveness appeared first on Paul Elmore.

(This is the first of a 6 week series on Failure. Each week is presented live at Imago Dei’s Refuge in Portland, Oregon. The people at Imago have been kind enough to allow me to come back each summer and present on a variety of topics including Failure1o1, Shame, Relationships, and Self Esteem.) Want To […] The post Failure201: Week 1—Positive Uncertainty appeared first on Paul Elmore.

This is the third episode of a special podcast series from The Codependency Project. Get the entire Codependency Project here. In this episode, we’re talking about one of the more toxic dynamics in unhealthy relationships—covert contracts. Covert Contracts are the “nice” things you do for other people, but you do them in expectation of getting […] The post Podcast—The Codependency Project #3 appeared first on Paul Elmore.

This is the second of three podcast giving you a little sample of The Codependency Project. The Project is actually a collection of 24 projects that you can work through at your own pace to help you have healthy, non-codependent relationships. In this episode, we’re talking about the greatest struggle codependent people have—the inability to […] The post Podcast—The Codependency Project #2 appeared first on Paul Elmore.

  Three Podcasts That Are A Little Different About a year ago, myself and a friend, Dave, created The Codependency Project. The idea came out of the Affinitas series I taught last summer (Affinitas means ‘relationship’ in latin) and is the How-To portion to the information that was presented. The Codependency Project is an audio […] The post Podcast—The Codependency Project #1 appeared first on Paul Elmore.

This is the last podcast of the series and one of the more important ones. It will sound significantly different than the rest of the podcasts, but listen all the way through. If you have comments, thoughts, or strong feelings about this podcast, feel free to leave comments below. The Movie At about the 17:30 […] The post Self Esteem Podcast—Week 7—The Value of Confession appeared first on Paul Elmore.

  A Night At The Movies This week was a little different in the Self Esteem Series. We spent the night looking at stories and characters from modern movies that became transformed by the adventures they experienced. (I’d suggest watching all the movies discussed. Here’s the list: The Matrix, Ben-Hur, The Lord of The Ring […] The post Self Esteem Podcast—Week 6—The Pain Of Change appeared first on Paul Elmore.

Everyone gets stuck in their thinking every once in a while. It’s when you become permanently stuck in that you begin to have real problems. That’s when you’re in a mental rut. In this episode of the Self Esteem Podcast, we’ll be looking at some of the common reasons why you can’t take action when […] The post Self Esteem Podcast—Week 5—Thinking Outside The Box appeared first on Paul Elmore.

In this episode of the Self Esteem Podcast we discuss how to start changing your thinking patterns. Here’s some of the stuff we cover: Tools To Promote Change Childlike Curiosity—wonder, Christmas and bugs etc… Experimentation—willingness to try things just to see what will happen. Best vs. right—you may not have all the information, make the […] The post Self Esteem Podcast—Week 4—Cognitive Distortions appeared first on Paul Elmore.

Mind maps are the internal representation of the outside world. They are how you “see” the world and how you feel safe. Every second you are receiving millions of pieces of information that you take in through your 5 senses—Sight, Hearing, Taste, Smell, and Touch. This information makes up your mind map. But not all […] The post Self Esteem Podcast—Week 3—Mind Maps & Filters appeared first on Paul Elmore.

(Okay. After a minor interruption in podcast service I think we’re up and running again.) How Your Self Perception Was Shaped “No child can ‘see’ himself directly. He only sees himself from the reflections of others.” This episode of the Self Esteem series we look at how your self image has been shaped by your […] The post Self Esteem Podcast—Week 2—Mirrors And What You Reflect To Your Children appeared first on Paul Elmore.

“Often what we call ‘thinking’ is merely recycling the opinions of others.”—Nathaniel Branden This is the first of seven podcasts in the Self Esteem And The Art Of Self Acceptance series being delivered at Imago Dei. Here’s some of the stuff we covered in this episode: “The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with […] The post Self Esteem Podcast—Week 1—Self Compassion appeared first on Paul Elmore.

What do you do when the mistake you’ve made—or even worse, the mistake someone else has made—and there is no possible way to make it right? Are you stuck forever? Are you destined to hurt forever. In this episode of Failure 101 we talk about the built-in system that each of us is equipped with […] The post Failure 101 Rebroadcast—Episode 7 appeared first on Paul Elmore.

I’ve become convinced that forgiveness is one of the most essential skills you need to learn if you’re going to lead a healthy and balanced life. Forgiveness is not easy. Especially when you’re the one who’s made a mistake and you have to ask it of someone else. Even harder is the ability to forgive […] The post Failure 101 Rebroadcast—Episode 6 appeared first on Paul Elmore.

There is a common belief that “If I screw up, someone is going to get mad at me.” The fear that failure will ALWAYS lead to conflict is another motivator for us to be terrified of making mistakes. Can failure NOT lead to conflict? Yes. Wanna learn how? Good. This episode of Failure 101 focuses […] The post Failure 101 Rebroadcast—Episode 5 appeared first on Paul Elmore.

Episode 4 of Failure 101 talks about the balance sheet many of you carry in your head. Whenever you make a mistake, it’s a mark against you, and you have to somehow make up for every and all mistakes you make. The reality of the world we live in is that, sometimes, there is nothing […] The post Failure 101 Rebroadcast—Episode 4 appeared first on Paul Elmore.

When you’ve made mistakes over and over… and when you’ve experienced the pain, disappointment, and frustration that follows those mistakes, it’s common to move into a place that says, “I don’t want to try anymore.” New things become very uncomfortable. And yet, without the willingness to step into new places and experiences, we end up […] The post Failure 101 Rebroadcast—Episode 3 appeared first on Paul Elmore.

One of the painful consequences of failure is the impact it has on your self-perception. It can make you doubt yourself, your choices, your skills, your worth, and your value. In essence, it’s a common belief that your mistakes make you a bad person. Fortunately, that might not be totally true. Unfortunately, that lie sets […] The post Failure 101 Rebroadcast—Episode 2 appeared first on Paul Elmore.

Three years ago I taught a series called Failure101. I thought I’d make it available again for those that may be new to my podcast or those that wanted to hear it again. I hope you find it helpful. P.S. If you haven’t yet, this is where you can subscribe to my podcast. No One […] The post Failure101 Rebroadcast—Episode 1 appeared first on Paul Elmore.

The ache to be taken care of can show up in a thousand different ways. Sometimes we go out of our way to serve other people. Sometimes we attack in passive aggressive ways. Sometimes we just expect others to know our desire, and become hurt when they don’t go out of their way to meet […] The post What About Me? appeared first on Paul Elmore.

God, the Creator of the Universe, wants to be in relationship with you. Yes, he is different than you in substance and essence. But He is still able to relate personally and practically each day with you. Some Things To Remember He is Spirit and communicates through your spirit. It’s different than speaking to another […] The post Affinitas—Week Seven—How To Relate With God appeared first on Paul Elmore.