The Happy Nervous System

Is having a “work-life balance” possible? What does it even mean? In this episode, I debunk what this phrase means and share what we should really be focusing on- having a nervous system balance. I share some questions to ask yourself about areas in your life that may be draining your nervous system battery and how to make changes in your life that will lead to a happier nervous system (and more balance!) 

Cooldowns are not just for working out! Anytime our body goes through stress, it's very important we provide it with a “cool down” so that it can return to a state of safety. If we do not have a conscious practice of helping our body feel safe after an activating activity (a party, a talk, a spin class) our brain will remember that event as threatening and we will lose motivation to repeat it in the future. Our Instagram name has changed! Give us a follow @happynervoussystem 

In today's episode, I interview Zach Campa who is a certified breathwork and meditation facilitator. Zach brings a very interesting science-based approach to healing and shares great tips on how to incorporate more purposeful breathing into your life. We discuss why it's important to be conscious, how to do inner work, and how to show up as a conscious, accountable romantic partner. Get ready to learn about your nervous system and attract your dream life!Zach can be found at:Instagam: @breathewiethzachFacebook: Zach Campa (Add him to join his Facebook group for free meditations!) 

Dr. Brittney Ellers is a holistic women's healthcare specialist and has a very unique background and specialized training in women's health. She is a holistic pelvic physical therapist, yoga teacher, women's health educator, thought leader and visionary advocate. She centers accessible education and open, honest conversation for more purposeful and embodied living for every human being. In today's episode, we cover period health, birth control, cycle syncing, and how to have embodied sex! Brittney is a pioneer in women's healthcare as she teaches the very important topics of body literacy. We cover pelvic floor therapy, why it matters, and how to get in touch with yourself, your body, and your pelvis. We also dive into pleasureful sex, the importance of chakra energy, trauma, and how bodywork is backed by science. Brittney can be found at: Instagram: @b.ellersWebsite: www.wearebeingbetter.com

It's no secret that living a healthy lifestyle is incredibely important. Thanks to modern science we are learning new hacks and habits every single day that can add years to our lives and help our physical health greatly improve. But is there a cost to “healthy living?” In this episode, I discuss the importance of the social engagement system and why we should be careful not to set healthy habits or biohacking as a higher priority than relationships. If you are into optimizing your mental and physical health, this episode is for you! 

Today we have a Men's health expert on the show to share his knowledge on the male body. Dr. Houman is an expert on many topics including vasectomy reversals, sperm retrievals, penile implants, and male incontinence. We talk about the important role of testosterone, what it does in the body, and signs that your testosterone is out of balance. Dr. Houman leaves the listeners with a few lifestyle tips on how to maintain healthy hormone levels as you age.Dr. Houman can be found at the following links: Instagram: Justin.Houman.MDTwitter: @JustinHoumanMDYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/jhoumanFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAMensHealth/TikTok: @justin.houman.md

I am a firm believer that physical health is mental health. When we listen to the physical symptoms and sensations of our body it directly improves and affects our mental well-being! In today's episode I walk through a short practice you can do at home to help improve your interoceptive awareness (or your ability to notice sensation from the inside of your body.) Validating our own symptoms and listening to their wisdom is very important and I share a few studies that back this up. Enjoy! 

Professionals and experts are important. But when they give us advice or an opinion that simply doesn't work for our body.. Progress is the last thing we will make! In this episode, I review some surprising research on the human body and how to make sure you are working with your body and not against it. At the end of the episode, I provide three strategies you can implement before working with a professional to make sure you take the advice that works for you and leave the rest behind.  

 Happy New Year from the Happy Nervous System team! This episode was created to give you a boost into this new year. I provide you with a very simple yet profound technique you can practice that will help you regulate your nervous system and reduce your need to control people and outcomes in your life. Happy nervous system, happy life! 

Do you ever wonder if you are addicted to checking your phone? It's frightening to think how the brain becomes powerfully conditioned to scroll social media or check our inbox (especially when our body is craving rest!) If you are ready to slow down and be intentional this holiday season I welcome you to this mini-challenge that will help boost interoceptive awarness and leave you feeling more peace and presence.  

In today's episode we are joined by Rachel Thomasian who brings her unique parenting wisdom that comes from being  a mother, therapist, and a business owner. We discuss the power of the apology, why she chooses to practice apologizing as a parent, and why it's an incredibly rewarding habit! Rachel shares about other parenting topics including how to repair after conflict with your child and why self-care is essential for your mental health. Rachel is the owner of Playa Vista Counseling and can be contacted at the link below. https://www.playavistacounseling.comIf you are a therapist be sure to check out ShrinkSync. An incredible new app making life WAY easier for therapists to connect, learn, and refer. It is available through the App Store and online at https://www.shrinksync.com

In today's episode eating disorder specialist Mia Raymond shares with us how to identify and better understand eating disorders and disordered eating. Mia has 14 years of experience in the field and has helped many people heal their relationship with food and their body. We discuss topics including fatphobia, how to improve body image, and how to raise children to love all shapes and body sizes. Enjoy! Mia's Instagram: @unchartedhealing.mia  Mia's Website: https://www.unchartedhealingwithmia.comAdditional Notes from Mia: -Binge Eating Disorder is 3x more common than Bulimia and Anorexia combined. -The prevalence of “atypical” anorexia nervosa (those that don't meet weight requirements for “traditional” anorexia) by age 20 years is 28% (vs < 1% for anorexia nervosa). Take away: Think about your behaviors and relationship with food and movement when assessing if you may be struggling with an eating disorder or disordered eating. Body size doesn't reflect if somebody does or doesn't have any eating disorder.Resources:-Primary Care Physicians that understand Eating Disorders in Los Angeles: Dr. Stephanie Bui and Dr. Leslie Kaplan. I know this list should be longer!-Influencers you need to follow right now:@BodyImagewithBri@YrFatFriend@RagenChastain@AaronFloresRDN

 In today's episode I walk you through an important question to ask yourself to improve your mental health and your quality of life. I am a firm believer that our satisfaction in life is directly tied to the quality of the questions we ask ourselves! If you have a few minutes to reflect and journal today, this episode is for you! 

In today's episode I continue the conversation around spanking and why it is not an effective form of discipline. I review specific strategies based on relational neuroscience to replace traditional discipline strategies and methods. Sprinkled in with some real-life examples, this episode is all about taking action. Enjoy! 

Today I have a very special guest on the podcast, my mom Dr. Mona Delahooke! This is our first public collaboration and we tackle the controversial topic of spanking. We discuss why spanking doesn't work and why fear-based discipline is an ineffective way to teach your children right from wrong. We discuss the latest and greatest parenting approaches that include the important work of Stephen Porges, Lisa Feldmen Barrett, and Tina Bryson. If this episode speaks to you, please share it with loved ones and help us spread awareness of healthy, supportive, and loving discipline! 

What do you think of when you hear the word pleasure? Does it register as a dirty word? Do you seek pleasure in private? Do you talk about pleasure with others? In this episode, I will convince you why pleasure is not just a luxury AND why it is not a dirty word. Allowing pleasure into your life is part of a healthy nervous system and can effectively shift our nervous system from a state of threat to a state of safety. If you struggle with chronic stress or anxiety, I provide several strategies (at the end of the episode) to easily implement more pleasure into your life. Enjoy! 

Today's guest is a men's mental health specialist that shares about the unique ways men tend to process feelings. Doron discusses why men struggle with perfectionism, the best way to support men emotionally, and ideas for how to raise boys in an emotionally healthy way. You can find Doron on instagram @doronwillis Enjoy! 

In today's episode, I define body image and why it has very little to do with the way that you look and all to do with the way you FEEL. I review specific strategies on how to improve your body image and accept yourself as you are. If you struggle with weight challenges, negative body image, eating disorders, or weight loss, this episode is for you. It's time to give your nervous system a break by leaning into the activities and habits that bring you joy and help you achieve internal freedom. 

Parenting is TOUGH. As a therapist and parent educator is my goal to debunk myths to help make parenting easier and more enjoyable. Today I break down a few common parenting myths to help you better understand your child and how to respond to them from a place of love and connection instead of reacting to them from a place of fear and anger. Head to Royawellness.com for more information about this episode and to recommend topics for future episodes! 

In today's episode, I interview fitness expert Dr. Shannon Ritchey. She has helped many people transform their relationship with exercise and reduce the pain and fatigue they experience in their bodies and joints. We talk about why the nervous system is a key player in movement and exercise, why gentle exercise is important for longevity, and how you can begin to make changes in your movement routine that will help you sustain a happier nervous system.  Enjoy! 

Research shows people choose to diet again and again and again even though they fail every single time. Why does this happen? In today's episode I talk about dieting, what it does to the body, and how to stop dieting for good. I provide some suggestions on what to do when you have urges to restrict or diet and why dieting is linked to a very important need: to feel safe and regulated in your body. 

In this episode we dive into the Blue Zone Study lead by Dan Buettner. We review the “Power Nine” criteria that shows the habits of groups of people who have the highest life expectancy on the planet! This study proves that having a happy nervous system truly does matter for overall health and well-being. Walk away with specific tips and ideas on how to add years to your life AND find more joy and pleasure in your daily activities and habits. 

Social media is scary but it doesn't have to be! In this episode, I unpack why social media (and following influencers) can be dangerous including red flags to look out for. Although influencers mean well the advice they give can cause harm if it is not received through the lens of bioindividuality. (AKA we are all incredibly unique and recommending a one size fits all approach simply will not work!) Towards the end of the episode, I review three steps you can take to be a smarter consumer and how to honor your uniqueness and still enjoy social media. Enjoy! 

In today's episode I interview my dear friend and colleague Dr. Christie Kederian. She is a dating and love expert who was a previous matchmaker for Eharmony and is a treasure chest of knowledge. We discuss how to find the one using dating apps, how to spruce up your online profile, and specific red flags to look out for to prevent dating the wrong person. Dr. Kederian also explains dating app fatigue and burnout and how to approach dating from a neutral, grounded place. Enjoy! 

Why do we demonize selfishness? In this episode I discuss why choosing to be selfish isn't only a good thing but a necessary part of robust mental health. This episode applies to everyone but this topic is especially important for all of the parents out there! Parenting from a place of burnout, stress, and anxiety can actually backfire. Tune in to this episode to learn about why emotional health is like financial health and how choosing to prioritize yourself can lead to better relationships. 

Anxiety can be debilitating, especially without having the tools to manage it. In today's episode I share about a favorite tool of mine that is quick and easy and comes from the school of narrative therapy. I share about a specific study where a neuroscientist discovered that it's not about the actual experience of anxiety or stress, it's all about the story we tell ourselves about the stress! This episode contains journal and reflection questions to help you build awareness around how you talk to yourself and how to improve the stories you tell yourself about your stress and social anxiety. 

In this episode we tackle the topic of shyness. I believe shyness is greatly misunderstood as a personality trait to “overcome” or “grow out of.” This can be a dangerous message to children and adults who are shy because they can think something is wrong with the way they are wired. The truth is, some of us are born into the world with a sensitive sensory system that makes ordinary, enjoyable situations quite stressful. When we look at shyness through the lens of the nervous system, we see that it is not a choice but instead a healthy, natural, survival strategy to conserve energy. If you have a shy child or if you yourself identify as being shy, this episode is for you! 

In today's episode, I interview a colleague of mine who is close to my heart! She is an exceptional couples therapist who is very well-known in the Los Angeles area. Mary Kay shares the secrets behind her success as a couples therapist and WHY bad communication isn't about talking at all! Being certified in both Imago Couples Therapy and Encounter-Centered Couples Therapy, she brings a wide range of knowledge and clinical experience to the conversation. You will walk away with tools on how to approach conflict in your marriage, change exhausting patterns, and stop fighting about the little things. Enjoy! You can find more about Mary Kay Cocharo and sign up for her upcoming retreats at: www.mkcocharo.com

In this episode, Dr. Sanam Shamtobi and I talk all things singleness! Being single can be a stressful life stage and we talk about how to manage the anxiety, uncertainty, and discomfort of not being with a partner. Dr. Shamtobi explains why you don't have to wait until your next relationship to find love AND why it's so important to work on yourself before tumbling into your next relationship. We also get into why first dates (and dating in general) can be so anxiety-provoking and how to regulate your unique nervous system without numbing out. To work with Dr. Shamtobi please visit her website https://www.thislife.co/For more information on how to regulate your unique nervous system please visit www.royawellness.com

In this episode I talk about a super easy, super simple practice that will boost your interoceptive awareness (AKA your ability to listen and notice the internal state of your body.) The truth is our mood is constantly fluctuating- we don't wake up the same way every morning. Some days are great. We feel energized, joyful, and ready to take on the challenges of the day! Other days can feel painful and might bring feelings of sadness or feeling down. Making small adjustments based on how you feel day in and day out can have many long-term benefits that will help you achieve your goals with more ease. 

In today's episode, I review WHAT somatic therapy is and WHY it is so effective. True transformation goes beyond "just talking" because simply talking oftentimes separates us from the hidden yet valuable messages of our body. Somatic therapy addresses a very important part of mental health, the sensory system! The sensory system is not talked about enough and I share why and how it helps you better understand your body and your needs. Somatic therapy works by 1) supporting you to listen to your body's feedback 2) understanding what your body's feedback means. Somatic therapy is effective because 1) It focuses on the unsaid 2) It breaks unwanted cycles 3) Improves relationships! If you are ready to stop blaming, criticizing and projecting your pain onto others somatic therapy helps you be in charge of your life and relationships instead of a victim to your circumstances.  

Listening to the cues of your body can be complicated if you have a trauma history. In this episode, I share how trauma can disrupt your mind-body connection and what you can do to rebuild this trust. We can't change something we are not aware of, so an important first step is being honest about ALL of the feedback (good, neutral, and painful) your body gives you on a daily basis. Reestablishing this important relationship with your body is an essential part of building interoception and I recommend working with a trained professional for added support. 

In this episode you will learn about what interoception is and WHY it is crucial for your mental health. This ability to notice, sense, or feel the cues and sensations that come from underneath your skin (interoception) is linked with positive physical and mental outcomes including stronger relationships, intuitive eating, and learning how to respond instead of react to stressors. Building the skill of interoception teaches us to listen to the whispers of our body before it screams and can help us avoid illness and chronic complications. Enjoy! Your body is always speaking to you, are you listening?

It is not easy to be an owner of a human body! With the ENDLESS latest fads, trends, and “shoulds” coming from well-meaning professionals, it can be very confusing to know what the “right” thing to do is for your body. If you have attended any fitness class recently I'm sure you know just what I'm talking about… instructors quite literally shout to turn off the feedback of your body (fatigue, painful muscles/joints) and just “push through the pain.” While exercise is very beneficial for physical and mental health, damage can be done when we repeatedly “tune out” the important feedback from our body. Because no two nervous systems are the same, it's crucial to understand how your body responds to a given activity, situation, or relationship and make adjustments accordingly to live a life with more ease and joy. In this episode, I discuss just how to make this shift from external messages to the internal messages of your body and the benefits of doing so. We also discuss the concept of interoception and the exciting research showing us that the more connected we are to the internal sensations and messages of our body, the more successful we can be. 

This episode is all about decoding the myth that you can THINK yourself out of anything. CBT is a widely popular therapy modality that almost all psychotherapists are trained in. There's a good reason for this! There is positive research behind CBT and it has some helpful techniques but I talk about WHY it falls short and fails to support an extremely part of mental health: the body! We talk about... the difference between "bottom-up" and "top-down" practices and why "bottom-up" techniques are so helpful, what happens to our thinking we are under stress,  why feelings go beyond the thinking mind, and how to identify the invisible factors that influence mental health (hint: it's not our thoughts!) 

Are you ready to take your mental health to the next level? What we know about mental health is rapidly changing thanks to incredible research from the fields such as neuroscience, interpersonal neurobiology, and psychoneuroimmunology. There is a time and place to "talk things out" in traditional therapy but now we know if we don't bring the body along for the ride, we simply won't achieve the results we are looking for. In this episode I briefly discuss how and WHY it's important to understand how your nervous system works and I explain why it's not about what you do, but instead, it's about the energy in which you do it.