If you're struggling to navigate through the dissatisfaction, listen to this podcast.
Thank you to all of our Misfit Mentor listeners! We now introduce our new podcast The 40 Something Soul. I hop you will say with us and learn more about how to feed your 40 Something Soul.God bless you,-Dr. Larry Merino
In this episode I talk about how difficult it can be to accept the new truth when it becomes clear that what I though was true is actually not true. In this episode I also share some good news for the future.
Today you can kiss disappointment good bye because you will discover the faulty principle on which it is built. This made a huge different in my life when I learned it and I know it will for you, too.Show NotesMuch of my thinking here is influenced heavily by philosopher Gabriel Marcel. There is much in the digital world to read about concerning him and his existential approach. You can listen to episode 1 "On Coming Out" by clicking the link belowhttps://www.buzzsprout.com/1729778/episodes/8277491
Have you ever considered that the things you want are actually not attainable? Have ever wondered why you have the goals and desires you have? In this episode we help you untangle a very complex issue that could be why you don't make the progress you want to make. Show NotesHere are some really helpful books on this topic if you want to take a deeper dive.Luke Burgiss, Wanting: the power of mimetic desire in everyday life.Dan Levinson, The Seasons of a Man's Life1 Timothy 6:6-10
In this episode we learn to be aware because it's easy to slide down this slippery slope that leads to places you don't want to go. Show NotesTha Happiness Curve. By John RauschClifton Strengths ( good resource for finding your signature strengths).Why You Can't Be Anything You Want. By Arthur Miller (Another good book about finding your strengths and not wasting time on pipe dreams).The Parable of the Vineyard (Matthew 20:1-16)You can listen to "Checking in With Your Conscience" click the link https://www.buzzsprout.com/1729778/episodes/9231145
In this episode I wanted to tell you how to get rid of identities that do not help you be who you want to be. I will also share some ancient wisdom that isn't ordinarily used for this situationBooks I have cited: The happiness curve, by John RauschThe season's of a man's life, by Daniel LevinsoCreating, by Robert FritzWhat Got you here won't get you there, by Marshall Goldsmith
In this episode I speak to you straight from the heart. I try to help you learn how to win the battle against fear and gain the courage to face anything. A book I referred to:Constuctive Living...Constructive Living (Kolowalu Books (Paperback))https://www.amazon.com/Constructive-Living-Kolowalu-Books-Paperback/dp/0824808711 - 740k - Cached - Similar pagesThe "Constructive Living" is a short 100 page book on a Japanese therapy technique called Morita therapy for treating depression, and anxiety as well as failure .
Achieving some success is always a wonderful experience. But if the success you have is not the one you want it can feel like wilderness in a corner office. I hope this episode helxpyou understand how you got into this wilderness and how you can get out.
This episode aired last spring and has fostered a lot of interesting conversation and good insights. We play it for you this week and will be back next week with a brand new episode. Happy 2023!
If you ever get into an oscillating back and forth pattern just when you think you will make forward progress, this episode can help. The problem can't be fixed by working harder but by looking first in the mirror. Books and Essays:Your Life as Art, by Robert Fritz. Especially Part III which deals with "Structural Imprinting." He makes some difficult concepts much easier to understand."Miswanting: Some Problems in the Forecasting ofFuture Affective States"CitationGilbert, D. T., & Wilson, Timothy D. ”Miswanting: Some problems in the forecasting of futureaffective states.” In Thinking and feeling: The role of affect in social cognition, edited by JosephP. Forgas, 178-197. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2000.Permanent linkhttp://nrs.harvard.edu/urn-3:HUL.InstRepos:14549983Terms of UseThis article was downloaded from Harvard University's DASH repository,
Show notes:In this episode I pose the question: “How Much is Enough?” I don't believe anyone could answer the question for you so today I will pose other questions that help to clarify what's important to you and to know what you really want. Sources and Citations: ( 3 Quarks Daily. The Conflict Between Competition And LeisurePOSTED ON MONDAY, APR 14, 2014 1:10AM BY EMRYS WESTACOTT by Emrys WestacottThe social-competition treadmill…the hedonic treadmill are discussed on p. 102 of Jon Rausch, The Happiness Curve. “How Much Is Enough?” Money and the Good Life (Other Press, 2012), Robert and Edward Skidelsky
Todays episode is for you if you wonder IF you can achieve that important goal. I will share what I have learned about this important skill and you will be surprised at what actually works. Books and Essays I cite:Finish, by Jon AcuffThe Happiness Curve, by Jonathan Rausch, esp. p.101 where you can read more about the principles of progress and adaptation. Miswanting Miswanting: Some Problems in the Forecasting ofFuture Affective StatesCitationGilbert, D. T., & Wilson, Timothy D. ”Miswanting: Some problems in the forecasting of futureaffective states.” In Thinking and feeling: The role of affect in social cognition, edited by JosephP. Forgas, 178-197. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 2000.Permanent linkhttp://nrs.harvard.edu/urn-3:HUL.InstRepos:14549983Terms of UseThis article was downloaded from Harvard University's DASH repository,
This episode ha been one of the most popular over the last year. We are on hiatus and will be back for season 6 in a few weeks. In the meantime please enjoy this episode and don't forget our website is still open: misfitmentor.comThere are blogs, video teachings and if you need to you can even schedule a free call with me. See you in a few weeks.God bless you,Dr. Larry Merino
In todays' episode we discover that everything we know about aging is wrong. And that there are a lot of pleasant surprises waiting for those who gain a clearer understanding of what actually happens when you're in the 40's. Books I refer to: The Happiness Curve, by Jonathan Rausch. Rausch digs into the research and makes a compelling argument about aging.Find Your Why, by Simon Sinek. This author helps you connect to what is important for you. If you don't know why you do something, the chances are good you will stop doing it.
In today's episode we will get a better handle on the worst kind of pressure -- the self-inflicted kind. What makes this kind of pressure so bad is that you can often believe it is being created by others but again, it is the guy or gal in the mirror who is the culprit. Please listen and use these suggestions. I also referred to Robert Fritz, Your Life as Art, p. 189.
Limiting Beliefs with Cognitive Behavioral Therapist Miles Nitz. Part 2.Contact Miles at 260-415-5967takechargecounseling.orgmnitz@takechargecounseling.org
Limiting Beliefs with Cognitive Behavioral Therapist Miles Nitz. Part 1.Contact Miles at 260-415-5967takechargecounseling.orgmnitz@takechargecounseling.org
In this episode we will unpack a secret to success -- but one that is out there in plain sight.
For many years I have had some wonderful conversations on my front porch. Today I invite you to join me there.
In this episode Executive Coach Peggy Zilz tells us what she went through in her 40's that helped her to understand the value of courage at a deeper level. Books: Constructive Living by David Reynolds Why You Can't Be Anything You Want by Arthur MillerSelf-Development Programs: The Gallup Strengths Finder. You can find the assessment at: www.gallup.comYou can visit misfit mentor.com to find our blogs, video teachings and mentoring pdf's You can write me a line at larry@misfitmentor.com
In this interview with media and radio executive Scott Howard, talks about some of the trouble he got into in his 40's that he knows now could have been avoided. There are lessons here you'll need to navigate through your 40's. You can visit misfit mentor.com to find our blogs, video teachings and mentoring pdf's You can write me a line at larry@misfitmentor.com
In our first episode of season 5 Executive pastor Matt Switzer teaches us how to navigate through some treacherous times in 40's. Book: The Happiness Curve by John RauschYou can visit misfit mentor.com to find our blogs, video teachings and mentoring pdf's You can write me a line at larry@misfitmentor.com
In this first episode we deal with a very common experience for those who deviate from the cultural norm or from what we were expected to do or to be. There is plenty of disappointment to go around in these situations but when you are “the disappointer” it can be brutal. Coming out doesn't have to be the gut-wrenching anxiety-producing event you imagine it to be. This episode can help.
Sometimes we chase the things that we think will empower us but only weaken us. There are lot of fake and phony ways that masquerade as empowerment when in fact, the real ways to empowerment are not even being considered. So, on this last show of season 3 I wanted to leave you with something to ponder -- something you can really use for real and powerful empowerment.
Fake and Phony solutions sound so believable. That's what makes them so poisonous. When we buy a fake and phony solution we always become immobilized and are tempted to give up on ourselves. Show NotesFake and Phony Solutions still exist because:1. we all have a lot of feelings we'd rather not feel2. we want these fake solutions to be true3. those who sell the fake solutions are very convincing(From 3-2-1 Thursdays by James Clear)Writer Jorge Luis Borges on transforming every experience into a resource:"A writer — and, I believe, generally all persons — must think that whatever happens to him or her is a resource. All things have been given to us for a purpose, and an artist must feel this more intensely. All that happens to us, including our humiliations, our misfortunes, our embarrassments, all is given to us as raw material, as clay, so that we may shape our art."Source: Twenty-Four Conversations with Borges: Including a Selection of PoemsYou are able to stay away from fake and phony solutions but you must1 Create and be very clear on what it you want to create -- not what others want you to do.2. Commit to the craft of your dream. Not for a month or year but for your whole life. Besides, what else have you got to do but get better and better at creating what you want to create?3. Stop Comparing yourself to others. You cannot make a judgement of your own self based on what others do and who they are.
Third Culture Kids: Are you familiar with term “3rd culture kid”? A 3rd culture kid (AKA TCK's) is someone who grew up in one culture and then found themselves in another one. Gypsies who deviate from the cultural norm and Misfits who want to do different things and do them differently are considered TCK's. Being a TCK has a lot of benefits but like everything else it has a dark side and if you're not aware of it you can end up in some pretty dark places. In today's episode we'll show you how to stay in the light.
Today's episode helps us to beware of the self-sabotage that we often fall into just as we get closer to our goals. We also have to especially aware of families' way of doing the same thing.
In this episode from 2021 we learn how important it is to pay attention to our authentic self more than our social image and status.
In the Hans Christian Andersen story, "The Emperor's New Clothes" it's a dumb little kid who turns out to be the smartest person in he crowd.There are plenty of reasons to be the dumbest person in the room and in today's episode you will learn why it's a smart move.
Let's stop calling it stress and call it what it is….Fear. Actually stress is what happens to the body when it is fearful. The symptom that shows up is stress in your body…BUT the real cause the real problem is fear. Fear is a liar….but if you dont know that….you will give in to its destructive power. In today's episode we will learn a new way that will work for you.
Farmers are an interesting bunch. They don't talk a lot but they are smart and in today's episode we will learn some timeless principles from agriculture that you must use to grow your creative process.
Focus and Energy. I'm sure you have noticed you do not have an unending supply of either. That's why you've got to be stingy with these assets and use them for creating NOT problem-solving. In today's episode we tell you how it sneaks up on you and what you can do about it.
Do you ever get cold creatively? Do you ever get burned out? From time to time everyone does. This happens more when you don't know to build a fire and keep the fire going in your creative process So today I want to teach you how to NOT QUENCH THE FIRE WITHIN YOU.Creating by Robert Fritz is a great book for learning more about this and other helpful concepts.
Endurance. That word is packed with meaning for people like you who are in it for the long haul. And sometimes enduring feels like suffering because it is not the most fun part of the journey but you mustn't give up because there will be suffering and something can be made from it. It's called creative suffering. And everyone who is in it for the long haul has to learn how to to do it. In today's episode I will show you how.
Too many of us suffer from those voices: “you're a loser you're a bum…why do you even try…just give up…and run away now before they all figure out you're a phony….!”But when you change the game the voices can still come and it won't even matter. In today's episode you will learn how to play the game so that there is always an upside.
One of the ironies of productive, goal-oriented people is that we can lose focus very easily. And when that happens it is easy to feel like we don't quite know what to do next. Today's episode will help you create momentum, imagination, and energy. Creating, by Robert Fritz is an excellent book on this topic. it can be hard to understand but is worth the time you invest.
One of the reasons you're a misfit is that you have this notion that you should do the things that actually FIT for you. And nowadays nobody wants to hear that. Most people are looking everywhere to get some direction but the wise person knows where to look and I'm gonna tell you where that surprising place is in today's episode. A great book for today's topic is Why You Can't Be Anything You Want, by Arthur Miller. This book can help you -- if you do the exercises.
More than likely if you are in your 40's you have been dealing with some disatisfaction. What makes this weird is that the outer, object parts of your life are really not so bad…A lot of people would even trade places with you…and yet there is that nagging disatisfaction but it doesn't have to be that way. You can actually thrive through your 40's and in today's episode you'll find out how. The Happiness Curve by John Rauch is an excellent book on this topic. John has done a wonderful job researching the data and shows s how to interpret it. he's also a really good writer.
Sometimes we chase the things that we think will empower us but only weaken us. There are lot of fake and phony ways that masquerade as empowerment when in fact, the real ways to empowerment are not even being considered. So, on this last show of season 3 I wanted to leave you with something to ponder -- something you can really use for real and powerful empowerment.
Answer this one quickly : you have have been working hard and you just know this project will work because you are clear and focused. And at the last minute everything goes sideways. Whaat do you? No one could blame you for being disappointed or angry. A wise man once said failure is not really fatal but failure to change in the face of setbacks -- well that could be. I believe we all need help when we get hit with a setback. That is what you'll get in todays episode
In today's episode we will learn how seeming contradictions -- what we call a paradox -- can be the absolute key to helping you get where you want to go.
Leadership is not what most of us think about when we plan our preferred futures. In today's episode we will learn how important it is to guide, influence and control ourselves if we want to get to the life we dream about.
In today's episode we learn about an old and counterintuitive truth: The Negative way can be more helpful than the Positive. It doesn't sound right and yet it is. This way of living and learning is often misquoted and misused but it leads to better decision-making. If you want to study up on this here are 2 excellent sources.- Nassim Nicholas Taleb , Antifragile: Things That Gain From Disorder - Wealest.com Thomas Waushenfelder
In today's episode we'll learn about how everything can serve your interests -- if you know what to look for. Writer Jorge Luis Borges on transforming every experience into a resource:"A writer — and, I believe, generally all persons — must think that whatever happens to him or her is a resource. All things have been given to us for a purpose, and an artist must feel this more intensely. All that happens to us, including our humiliations, our misfortunes, our embarrassments, all is given to us as raw material, as clay, so that we may shape our art."Source: Twenty-Four Conversations with Borges: Including a Selection of Poems(I found this at Jamesclear.com)
My guest today is Anne Merino, who is an accomplished dancer, writer, actress, and the author of Hawkesmoor: A Novel of Vampire and Faerie. In this episode Anne shares her unique insights on the creative process and what it takes to get to your goal.
Why accept your frustrations and anxieties when you can hold a meeting with yourself and make some real progress on your goals at the same time. Today we will be talking about how to talk to yourself and learning from two authors: Think and Make it Happen, by Dr. Augusto Cury, and King, Warrior, Magician, Lover, by Robert Moore. I guarantee that once you learn the art of talking to yourself you will never stop using this tool as a way to enhance your creative process.
Did you know that your growth can be lopsided? If we don'y pay attention to the different ways to mature our gifts and talents won't do us any good. We owe it to ourselves and to everyone else to make sure our growth is balanced and not lopsided.
“Larry you are perfectly organized to get the results you're currently getting….” Hmmm…I put a lot of though into that…Since I didn't like where I was going at the time I had to take another look at how I was organized. And I had to admit that he was right. And that was a big eye-opener for me . In today's episode you can get your eyes open, too, and start organizing -- or structuring -- your actions so that they move you where you want to go.
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