The Unmasking Unschool Podcast

In this week's episode, I'm sharing with you an interview I did with the gorgeous, generous, visionary soul that is Opal Turner. I featured on their podcast Rebel with a Cause. This was my first time being a guest on someone else's podcast and it's going to be hard to beat! Opal asked some really juicy questions. We cried. We laughed, and I felt truly held and seen. And I believe it was mutual. And my hope is that you also feel seen as you listen in enjoy. This is PART TWO. The Original podcast was hosted by MediaCat Mentioned on the podcast: Jem's The Feel Good Circus creates a space that is not about getting it right. Visit Laurie's neuro-queer network.  __________________________ Transcript: www.solasystems.xyz/blog/038 _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the fiction of 'normal'. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are, build a life that works, and emerge from systemic invisibility into the confidence to realise culture shifting projects in the world: Sign up to the mailing list at solasystems.xyz

In this week's episode, I'm sharing with you an interview I did with the gorgeous, generous, visionary soul that is Opal Turner. I featured on their podcast Rebel with a Cause. This was my first time being a guest on someone else's podcast and it's going to be hard to beat! Opal asked some really juicy questions. We cried. We laughed, and I felt truly held and seen. And I believe it was mutual. And my hope is that you also feel seen as you listen in enjoy. This is PART ONE of two. The Original podcast was hosted by MediaCat Mentioned on the podcast: Jem's The Feel Good Circus  Laurie's neuro-queer network.  __________________________ Transcript: www.solasystems.xyz/blog/037 _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the fiction of 'normal'. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are, build a life that works, and emerge from systemic invisibility into the confidence to realise culture shifting projects in the world: Sign up to the mailing list at solasystems.xyz

Doors to The SOLA System + Siblings are OPEN for enrolment: https://www.solasystems.xyz/summer This is the 6 month, online, group program for kind-hearted, ambitious, visionary folks who happen to also be autistic, and are seeking the support system and social context to create culture shifting projects. __________________________ Episode Summary: When what you want to CREATE or BECOME isn't just new or unknown, but ALSO involves being more of the parts of you that have in the past been actively discouraged, the fear of being “too much/not good enough” can stop you expanding and moving forward into your most fervently coveted dreams and goals. In this episode I share the solution...  __________________________ Transcript: www.solasystems.xyz/blog/036 The next cohort of The SOLA System + Siblings is OPEN! https://www.solasystems.xyz/summer _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the fiction of 'normal'. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are, build a life that works, and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self: Sign up to the mailing list at solasystems.xyz

Connect with Louisa on Instagram HERE Episode Summary: In the legacy of Eurocentric forms of knowledge, that are about having a self appointed god-like gaze over others and naming and labelling and defining meanings into splits separations and hierarchies, there is an obsession with being right. With doing the right thing in the right way; fitting in with the status quo being a good cog not rocking the boat. This can complicate the path to identifying, expressing and contributing your gifts. And contribute to a sense that - it's not actually okay for me to express my gifts. It's not possible for me to prosper AND be myself. It will lead to rejection or harm. And yet, you have an inner conviction, right? There is some part of you that does know that you have strengths, insights, perspectives, gifts, unique zones of excellence... So the solution is to get around people who can amplify that inner knowing. And who can reflect that conviction back to you. Transcript: www.solasystems.xyz/blog/035 The next cohort of The SOLA System + Siblings will open in July. Get on the mailing list here: solasystems.xyz _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the fiction of 'normal'. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are, build a life that works, and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self: Sign up to the mailing list at solasystems.xyz

Connect with Louisa on Instagram HERE Episode Summary: Money does not have to equal extraction and exploitation. But when we witness corruption that leads to lives being valued below profit, AND also hear phrases like "charge your worth", it can lead to thinking that our worthiness has something to do with our ability to be productive or fit into pre-existing agendas, values and flow structures. In this episode, I make the case that your inherent worth is infinite - and separating the value of what you create from your inherent self worth, means you can consider HOW and to WHOM you communicate the value of what you create, without attachment. Transcript: www.solasystems.xyz/blog/034 The next cohort of The SOLA System + Siblings will open in July. Get on the mailing list here: solasystems.xyz _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the fiction of 'normal'. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are, build a life that works, and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self: Sign up to the mailing list at solasystems.xyz

Connect with Louisa on Instagram HERE Episode Summary: 'Autistic burnout'? Afraid of reaching and aspiring because of the inevitable crash and burn? Overly familiar with over-adapting and recovery cycles? This episode is for you... and it's about step one: The REFUSAL; the "NO"; the de-consenting; This is how healing can begin. The decision to put your own needs above the demands to push past your own limits, is the first step to increasing those limits. Carving out extreme boundaries so you can come back into connection with your true inner boundaries. However, we can sometimes be afraid of the NO, of rest, of stopping, of exiting the approved lifestyles... And so sibling, know that before it starts to feel good again, it might have to feel worse... and thats okay.  Transcript: www.solasystems.xyz/blog/033 The next cohort of The SOLA System + Siblings will open in July. Get on the mailing list here: solasystems.xyz _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the fiction of 'normal'. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are, build a life that works, and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self: Sign up to the mailing list at solasystems.xyz

Connect with Louisa on Instagram HERE Episode Summary: Are you in a pattern of self sabotage? Do you recognise yourself taking steps forward, and then 102,782,629 steps back? Sibling, I've got you with this week's podcast episode, which is all about what exactly is underlying self sabotage, and also - the details on my recent breakthrough! Transcript: www.solasystems.xyz/blog/032 The next cohort of The SOLA System + Siblings will open in July. Get on the mailing list here: solasystems.xyz _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the fiction of 'normal'. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are, build a life that works, and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self: Sign up to the mailing list at solasystems.xyz

Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings Transcript: www.solasystems.xyz/blog/031 _____________________ This episode is all about creating safety to take up space; to expand our agency and influence; in the world, in our work, in our relationships. I speak to how the internalisation of external harms we experience, can take up space in our bodies and hearts and minds and future outlook. Unpacking it is how we release the weight that holds us back from expanding into more. That taking up space in our bodies is HOW we can begin to take up more space in our lives and the world. _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the fiction of 'normal'. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are, build a life that works, and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self: Learn more at solasystems.xyz

Doors are OPEN to The SOLA System + Siblings: https://www.solasystems.xyz/spring The unmasking unschool for the creative #autistic in you to finally feel SEEN, SUPPORTED, and SELF EXPRESSED - Unlearn false selves - Immerse in resonant community - Invent a life that works Create the self-acceptance, worthiness, and energy-supporting structures around your autistic differences to realise a felt possibility into a material reality and to turn the resilience you've already built over-adapting to what doesn't work, into the future you want. INFO HERE: https://www.solasystems.xyz/spring _____________________ Transcript: processing...coming soon. www.solasystems.xyz/blog/030 _____________________ Episode summary: If you've been fearful of having a repeat experience of mutual support and peer groups; of negotiating the unclear rules and expectations of a semi-social space, of not knowing whether it's your turn, or how much space to take up, running the same scripts of tending to others needs instead of your own,  I want to invite you to something different: Connection without obligation Feeling SEEN without having to think about anyone else's comfort. Clear guidelines, and direct communication with me (the coach). Being immersed in an autistic-specific context of self-development, where self-acceptance, not group support, is the goal. _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late-identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the confines of normativity. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self. Learn more at solasystems.xyz

Doors are OPEN to The SOLA System + Siblings: https://www.solasystems.xyz/spring The unmasking unschool for the creative #autistic in you to finally feel SEEN, SUPPORTED, and SELF EXPRESSED - Unlearn false selves - Immerse in resonant community - Invent a life that works Create the self-acceptance, worthiness, and energy-supporting structures around your autistic differences to realise a felt possibility into a material reality and to turn the resilience you've already built over-adapting to what doesn't work, into the future you want. INFO HERE: https://www.solasystems.xyz/spring _____________________ Transcript: www.solasystems.xyz/blog/029 _____________________ Episode summary: Are you rushing? This episode unpacks a common pattern I see amongst those I work with, and my own patterns too; of thinking "I don't have enough time" and rushing past your own processing pace, in ways that guarantee that you don't indeed have enough time. I unpack 9 reasons why this might be happening... _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late-identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the confines of normativity. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self. Learn more at solasystems.xyz

Doors are OPEN to The SOLA System + Siblings: https://www.solasystems.xyz/spring The unmasking unschool 
for the creative #autistic in you to finally feel
 SEEN, SUPPORTED, and SELF EXPRESSED

 - Unlearn false selves 
- Immerse in resonant community 
- Invent a life that works Create the self-acceptance, worthiness, and energy-supporting structures around your autistic differences, to realise a felt possibility into a material reality and to turn the resilience you've already built over-adapting to what doesn't work, into the future you want. INFO HERE: https://www.solasystems.xyz/spring _____________________ Transcript: www.solasystems.xyz/blog/028 _____________________ Episode summary: There are a whole lot of external conditions you didn't choose. Those conditions influence the habitual self you became in response. When that habitual self no longer fits, or never fit. Or you've awakened to the desire to BE in a new way; When you are being pulled into a next version of self. is when that old self will start to feel uncomfortable and stale. Maybe you are wanting to create a project or make a vocational leap, or change direction; but feel stuck, scared, lost, and like you don't have permission... This episode is about how you get unstuck, and start making lasting changes. _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late-identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the confines of normativity. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self. Learn more at solasystems.xyz

Join me for the free online seminar: How to get unstuck and unmask, when masking is a systemic issue 22 March 2023, 1pm GMT Register: https://www.solasystems.xyz/workshop _____________________ Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings Transcript: www.solasystems.xyz/blog/027 _____________________ Episode summary: Masking is a systemic issue. A learned response to to stigma, inaccessible and oppressive structures and social expectations. It also creates a belief that I want to highlight: "I can't be myself AND make life work" This is an inevitable conclusion of having learned that YOUR natural way of being upsets people. Or is wrong. Or is not enough. Or is too much. That being yourself is just not an option that leads to interpersonal, physical, psychological or material safety. That you have to put other people's comfort and good opinion and acceptance and the status quo that maintains that, above yourself. And disconnect from yourself in order to maintain. Along come the two main narratives to then draw on: that “it's not possible to be myself AND make life work” because: 1) of who YOU are, and what you do/don't do or 2) is because of who THEY are, and what they do/don't do. Neither of these are empowering. The answer is somewhere in between: That yes, there are the external systems and structures, the dominant consensus reality, specific cultural norms and ideologies and harms, the people who are resourced in their natural state But there is also: the habitual self you've been being, that you created in response to all that. That acts in agreement with what doesn't work - because you believe there is no other option. The habitual ways of thinking and reacting and acting that over time that became just the way you do things, and over longer time, became the only self that you know how to be.  The only way THIS self knows how to make life work, is by NOT being all of who you are. To put your own self connection last. The only way we begin that external change, is if we first unravel it's effects in our self-relationship. In our: beliefs, thoughts, actions (the parts we can control). In this week's podcast episode, I explore how the solution is to know deeply that: the ONLY way for you to make life work IS to be yourself. _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late-identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the confines of normativity. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self. Learn more at solasystems.xyz

Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings Transcript: www.solasystems.xyz/blog/026 _____________________ Episode summary: After realising you are autistic there is a needs must to deep dive "obsessively". To share everything you are learning ("info dump"). To make a “special interest” of (a.k.a. become a niche specialist in) all things autism. And my words to you are: go for it!! But I also want to share a word of warning; Because the seeking of those glimpses of self revelation requires wading through piles and posts and podcasts and publications that are full of misinformation. And so this process can come a painful confrontation with ableism including that which you've internalised. And with that, a desire to advocate against that DEARTH of misinformation. To make it wrong, in order for you to feel right. That was me. I wanted to argue for all the parts of myself that now needed to be seen, by focusing on all of the papers, and pathology paradigms and books and blogs… that had it wrong. In that need to be RIGHT, for there to be a ‘right' way to think, I was also reproducing the same oppressive logics that I was seeking to make wrong.  Unlearning that desire to be RIGHT, by making other people WRONG (even when they are!) is a crucial component of the journey to feeling good about who you are and creating the inner freedom to BE who you are whether or not you have the agreement or understanding or buy-in. Especially from the people who have more access to knowledge production and dissemination, to share *about* who they think you are, then you do. The underlying questions I ask in this episode are: Can you: let them be wrong about you. Can you: let "them" become irrelevant.     _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late-identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the confines of normativity. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self. Learn more at solasystems.xyz

Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings Transcript: www.solasystems.xyz/blog/025 _____________________ Episode summary: Autistic folks, have to EXPLAIN themselves too much. The gap between the lived experiences of YOU and the lived experience that consensus reality regards as REAL… is a wide canyon. Crossing it, too often falls on YOU to explain your way into their reality SO it is reasonable to believe that BEING YOURSELF requires you to change their reality, so to fit you inside it. To change their thinking so they understand you. This belief holds true across instances where there is a lot at stake in being understood; healthcare systems legal systems workplaces social services etc. But having the permission to also NOT have to be understood is also part of the solution. Allowing ourselves to question what is STRUCTURALLY TRUE, and yet unhelpful thinking, allows us to see beyond the REALITY imposed on our bodies without consent. To imagine outside of its dictates. And to give permission to what can only exist when we allow ourselves to NOT be understood. This is the contradiction at the heart of this work; to acknowledge what is tangibly real while also imagining beyond it. In this episode, I invite you to imagine beyond having to make sense and explain yourself to everyone. _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late-identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the confines of normativity. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self. Learn more at solasystems.xyz

Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings Transcript: www.solasystems.xyz/blog/024 _____________________ Episode summary: Am I becoming "more autistic"? There is an ableist tint to this question, that can accompany realising you are autistic later in life, or during any times in which there is just MORE going on. The MORE might not be the immediate stressors of your sensory or social environment. They can be the big changes, the emotional, hormonal or physical transitions of life, the unanswered questions of: what will happen? who am I? All of which can lead to a waxing and waning of your skills, abilities, energy, access needs and style of expression. In this week's podcast episode, I dive into some possible angles on why this might be the case, to normalise being inconsistent. _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late-identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the confines of normativity. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self. Learn more at solasystems.xyz

Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for bonus beams from The SOLA System, plus you'll get the link to join the FREE 'siblings' community of other creative neurodivergents also working to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings Episode summary: The first of several bonus episode from the archives, of my first podcast that I had in 2020. The critical perspectives in these episodes are also what we get into in the first three planets; these are part of the tunnels of un, the unlearning and how that uncomfortable work - the discomfort - is a necessity for change; across the personal and systemic. This episode is a critical examination of why 'aspergers' was cancelled, but 'autism' remains unquestioned. TRANSCRIPT: https://www.solasystems.xyz/blog/023 _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late-identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the confines of normativity. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self. Learn more at solasystems.xyz

Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings Episode summary: The skills for the DOING part is sometimes known as ‘executive function' skills. Such as: task switching, organising, prioritising, flexible thinking, working memory, multi-tasking, impulse control, keeping track of what you are doing, starting and finishing tasks, managing time...  And while these may not be our strengths, difficulty with these skills are also NOT reflective of bad character (“lazy” “selfish” etc). But, they can be where many of us get stuck. Because traditional approached to DOING (executing on) your intentions, don't fit. To do lists… don't work. Self-admonishment… doesn't work and leads to burnout. Task switching a million times a day…. doesn't work. Sticking to a schedule with lots of transitions and bits and emails… does't work. Excitement… works… but only lasts as long as the dopamine of the thrill of the new thing. So how to get unstuck around the DOING when typical routes to doing, don't work? This is a question I'm intending to help people answer, as The SOLA System program is going through a refresh. And in this episode, I share a bit of my thinking about why. _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late-identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the confines of normativity. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self. Learn more at solasystems.xyz

Download the accompanying .pdf of questions HERE For a version with added 'brown noise' to aid concentration, email Louisa HERE Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings Episode summary: This Episode is all about Reflecting on the year that was 2022, and setting intentions for 2023. I take you through a 9 step reflection process, to gain clarity and connection for your year ahead. Set aside an hour to quiet the noise and get in touch with your true wishes for a year of self becoming. _____________________ The Unmasking Unschool Podcast (formerly: sensory siblings) is brought to you by Louisa Shaeri, beaming from The SOLA System; the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for late-identified autistic+ folks seeking a new way to see, know and be yourself, beyond the paradigm of pathology, and the confines of normativity. Unmask, unravel the false ideas of who you are and emerge from systemic invisibility into the light of your full self. Learn more at solasystems.xyz

Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for bonus beams from The SOLA System, plus you'll get the link to join the FREE 'siblings' community of other creative neurodivergents also working to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. Episode summary: Labels can be helpful. To help you name an experience. To have a way to refer to where you are at. And accept that this is where you are at. But they can also become your identity, locate a problem entirely in your body, and making it seem like this is just who you are. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, is one of those labels where it's both. It's helpful to name when you experience excruciating, all-encompassing and sometimes even physical pain in response to instances where you aren't given love, acceptance, approval and inclusion. But we also have to name the -isms (ableism, racism, behaviourism, gender-based prejudice...) that contributed to this heightened vigilance, and the ways these can be internalised as: your entire self is coupled-in-with the rejection. In this week's podcast episode, I take the RSD phrase, that originated in the clinical context, and reframe it from a coaching perspective; as one that you can heal and transform your experience of rejection. So that rejection doesn't come with an internal rejection of your whole self (the much bigger pain involved in RSD). RSD is really: self-abandonment as a response to rejection. The external triggering of internal self-rejection. That's good news, because it means you can work on it. _____________________ The sensory siblings podcast is hosted by Louisa Shaeri, and beaming to you from the The SOLA System + Siblings, the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for creative, late identified autistic folks who are seeking another way to see, know and be yourself. This is a radical reimagining of what is possible when we redefine ourselves from within; by unlearning who we are not, making self connection our goal, activating the languages of our sensory oriented perception, and creating the culture shifts to activate futures + selves. It all starts within. TRANSCRIPT _____________________ Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings

Autistic scripting and why you experience higher levels of rejection than others, and how to evolve your experience of yourself beyond the exhaustion of trying to replicate the ideals of normative culture... Papers mentioned in this episode: https://www.nature.com/articles/srep40700 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33192918/ _____________________ The sensory siblings podcast is hosted by Louisa Shaeri, and beaming to you from the The SOLA System + Siblings, the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for creative, late identified autistic folks who are seeking another way to see, know and be yourself. This is a radical reimagining of what is possible when we redefine ourselves from within; by unlearning who we are not, making self connection our goal, activating the languages of our sensory oriented perception, and creating the culture shifts to activate futures + selves. It all starts within. TRANSCRIPT _____________________ Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings

Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings Episode summary: This episode kicks off a series of podcasts on this topic of belonging to ourselves more fully, and in every new arena we enter... You might say that belonging to yourself means: Deciding that you allow… yourself. That you allow… the experiences you are actually in. That you are allowed to like yourself, love yourself, without conditions. Unconditionally.   Many of the siblings I coach enter my unmasking unschool 'The SOLA System' with beliefs that are all variations on one theme: that they are fundamentally wrong on some level. That they are too much, or not enough. That they are the problem. That there are conditions on their belonging. That they need permission. This belief has had them making DECISIONS, and thinking THOUGHTS, based on the idea that they need to get approval first. That the barrier is outside of their control - because permission is up to other people. That permission isn't yet granted. That they need to convince, conform, or persuade, to get it. But permission to be who you are, can only come from inside you. You give yourself that permission. Listen to find out how. ________ The sensory siblings podcast is hosted by Louisa Shaeri, and beaming to you from the The SOLA System + Siblings, the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for creative, late identified autistic folks who are seeking another way to see, know and be yourself. This is a radical reimagining of what is possible when we redefine ourselves from within; by unlearning who we are not, making self connection our goal, activating the languages of our sensory oriented perception, and creating the culture shifts to activate futures + selves. It all starts within. TRANSCRIPT _____________________ Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings

Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings Episode summary: Is there an internal reality that you know about, but you haven't enacted the decisions to make it real on the outside? Because you know it will change things. Be it a way of expressing yourself, or your sexuality or your gender or your cognitive style, or identity, or a role in the world, or a belief or cause that you have strong feelings about, or a way or offering something to the world as a vocation, or a family decision or a home decision, or a relationship decision... Committing to POSSIBILITY - means to commit to something for which you have no experience for yet. No certainty about how it will go down - in other words, what will happen and how other people will react. How you will react to their reaction. That lack of evidence means it's very hard to feel certain about doing it. The doubt and fear become reasons not to act. So how can you start taking action towards possibility when you don't have full belief? When you aren't sure you can handle what happens, if it will work out, or if you will do it? By committing. Commitment is a line in the sand that creates a before and after. Commitment is created in the heart space of self connection; with the courage to FEEL all the emotional truth of where you are at; both negative - regret, disappointment, envy… and positive (just as uncomfortable): desire, want, a secret dream. Allowing yourself the safety in your own body to FEEL it all, means you can no longer hide from your truth. That radical truth telling creates commitment to being in integrity with your truth, no matter what. When you establish that depth of self connection, you create a kind of commitment that ignites belief. Because maintaining that integrity in your actions matters more than the results. And your actions grow your belief. You then get to WATCH your life re-shuffle around the truth of who you are becoming: A life full of the boldness and magic of being true to YOU. ________ The sensory siblings podcast is hosted by Louisa Shaeri, and beaming to you from the The SOLA System + Siblings, the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for creative, late identified autistic folks who are seeking another way to see, know and be yourself. This is a radical reimagining of what is possible when we redefine ourselves from within; by unlearning who we are not, making self connection our goal, activating the languages of our sensory oriented perception, and creating the culture shifts to activate futures + selves. It all starts within. TRANSCRIPT _____________________ Head over to solasystems.xyz where you can activate your membership in the free + Siblings community, hosted on Discord. To find out more about The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool', go to solasystems.xyz/siblings

Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings Episode summary: It can be hard to know what you want,  when you don't believe that you get to create what you want. That you have permission. When so often, what you wanted (to do, be, say, not say) has been “wrong”; And when over-adapting has been hard enough, so anything bigger, better, brighter, beyond, carries the fear that it will require more burnout, more over-adapting; When saying YES to yourself and TRUSTING those instincts has led to rejection. But here's the thing; When you don't identify what you want to create in this life, intimately, clearly, desirously… then you end up re-creating either: - your past - what other people want for you - what already is. To know what you want to create, means to start thinking beyond the probability of What Is. To no longer delegate your thinking to your past, statistics, other people, current circumstances... To know what you want to create, means to think in Possibility. To fill that void of what could be, with intentional decisions. And to trust it. Why? Because your fully expressed self is seeded in that void BEYOND probability. That void is dark matter potency; is potential universe; is potential YOU. When you recognise the potent power of that void to invoke the unexpressed parts of you, you can use it to KNOW (sense listen, feel, connect to) what you want to create. And as Rumi said: what you are seeking is seeking you. You wouldn't want it, if it wasn't possible. Those desires are in you for a reason. Thinking in that possibility is the first step to REALising things beyond your current circumstances, and realising the fullness of who you are inside - on the outside. In this week's podcast episode, I share a story to illustrate this point, and invite you to THINK in possibility. ________ The sensory siblings podcast is hosted by Louisa Shaeri, and beaming to you from the The SOLA System + Siblings, the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for creative, late identified autistic folks who are seeking another way to see, know and be yourself. This is a radical reimagining of what is possible when we redefine ourselves from within; by unlearning who we are not, making self connection our goal, activating the languages of our sensory oriented perception, and creating the culture shifts to activate futures + selves. It all starts within. TRANSCRIPT _____________________ Head over to solasystems.xyz where you can activate your membership in the free + Siblings community, hosted on Discord. To find out more about The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool', go to solasystems.xyz/siblings

Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings Episode sumary: Do you know what uses up an overwhelming amount of cognitive bandwidth? Unmade decisions. Unmade decisions like: What shall I do with this shirt I don't like anymore? What shall I reply to that email? What should I do about the job offer when it's not my dream? Unmade decisions are like open tabs on your browser; they use up processing power. Unmade decisions clog the system.  They slow down momentum.  They keep you… stuck. This is why Making Decisions is one of the five core frameworks in The SOLA System. Making Decisions is how you get unstuck. It's how you go from: living in a state of unfinished-ness, hypothetical, “one day” hope, living in the margins, waiting in the wings, watching your personas and other people's decisions direct your life... to actively directing, and writing, and being the main character of your life, on centre stage in a play you wrote and directed. Making Decisions is how ensure your life isn't being played by other people's ‘shoulds'; their ideas for you, their agendas, their ideologies, their direction. Or influenced by audience members you didn't invite, who occupy your mind with why they are expecting to see something you aren't here to deliver. When you look at your life, and the show on stage isn't one YOU chose on purpose, and the script running through your mind was written by someone else, and the character you are playing isn't true to you,  It means: it's time to start Making Decisions. It's time to step onto that stage, take up the role of director, and re-write that play. It's time to get to know who you are here to be: by BEING it. And to inform the critic in the front row, to Watch, and Listen. It's time to take up full ownership over the Decisions that shape what happens on your stage; who shares it with you, what it means to BE you, what the narrative arc of your experiences say about WHO you are. It starts by bringing your own thoughts and feelings into the spotlight of your own awareness. In this week's podcast episode, I share how one of my partner's observations of me allowed me to trace and undo a decades-old pattern; of leaving things unfinished. Of avoiding decisions. Of waiting for “my real life” to start.  And to finally start committing to my actual life - by stepping into the role of director, playwright, and lead actor - by Making Decisions. ________ The sensory siblings podcast is hosted by Louisa Shaeri, and beaming to you from the The SOLA System + Siblings, the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for creative, late identified autistic folks who are seeking another way to see, know and be yourself. This is a radical reimagining of what is possible when we redefine ourselves from within; by unlearning who we are not, making self connection our goal, activating the languages of our sensory oriented perception, and creating the culture shifts to activate futures + selves. It all starts within. TRANSCRIPT _____________________

The sensory siblings podcast is hosted by Louisa Shaeri, and beaming to you from the The SOLA System + Siblings, the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for creative, late identified autistic folks who are seeking another way to see, know and be yourself. This is a radical reimagining of what is possible when we redefine ourselves from within; by unlearning who we are not, making self connection our goal, activating the languages of our sensory oriented perception, and creating the culture shifts to activate futures + selves. It all starts within. TRANSCRIPT _____________________ Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings

The sensory siblings podcast is hosted by Louisa Shaeri, and beaming to you from the The SOLA System + Siblings, the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for creative, late identified autistic folks who are seeking another way to see, know and be yourself. This is a radical reimagining of what is possible when we redefine ourselves from within; by unlearning who we are not, making self connection our goal, activating the languages of our sensory oriented perception, and creating the culture shifts to activate futures + selves. It all starts within. TRANSCRIPT _____________________ Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings

The sensory siblings podcast is hosted by Louisa Shaeri, and beaming to you from the The SOLA System + Siblings, the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for creative, late identified autistic folks who are seeking another way to see, know and be yourself. This is a radical reimagining of what is possible when we redefine ourselves from within. By unlearning who we are not, making self connection our goal, activating the languages of our sensory oriented perception, and creating the culture shifts to activate futures + selves. It all starts within. TRANSCRIPT _____________________ Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings

The sensory siblings podcast is hosted by Louisa Shaeri, and beaming to you from the The SOLA System + Siblings, the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for creative, late identified autistic folks who are seeking another way to see, know and be yourself. This is a radical reimagining of what is possible when we redefine ourselves from within. By unlearning who we are not, making self connection our goal, activating the languages of our sensory oriented perception, and creating the culture shifts to activate futures + selves. It all starts within. TRANSCRIPT _____________________ Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings

The sensory siblings podcast is hosted by Louisa Shaeri, and is beaming to you from the The SOLA System + Siblings, the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for creative, late identified autistic folks who are seeking another way to see, know and be yourself. This is a radical reimagining of what is possible when we redefine ourselves from within. By unlearning who we are not, making self connection our goal, activating the languages of our sensory oriented perception, and creating the culture shifts to activate futures + selves. It all starts within. TRANSCRIPT _____________________ Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings

I have a treat for you today that I am really excited to share. This is the first interview on the Sensory Siblings podcast, and it's with our very own sibling Laurie Green. Laurie's pronouns are they/them. Laurie is an artist. And has been a long time traveller in The SOLA System, and in this interview we dive into their ideas on art as a relational co-creation of consciousness, what neuro-queering means to them, permission to be in your body, and where they were at the start of their SOLA System journey. You can find the full transcript at: https://www.solasystems.xyz/blog/009 Laurie Green is at: Website: https://laurie.hotglue.me/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/liminal_resonance/ Streams of [Un]consciousness: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCLvRAK70K91OOgi1KRnPE5Th8bGVMYOD Affective States 1 on Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/elle_geee

The sensory siblings podcast is hosted by Louisa Shaeri, and is beaming to you from the The SOLA System + Siblings, the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for creative, late identified autistic folks who are seeking another way to see, know and be yourself. This is a radical reimagining of what is possible when we redefine ourselves from within. By unlearning who we are not, making self connection our goal, activating the languages of our sensory oriented perception, and creating the culture shifts to activate futures + selves. It all starts within. TRANSCRIPT: https://www.solasystems.xyz/blog/008 _____________________ Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings

The sensory siblings podcast is hosted by Louisa Shaeri, and is beaming to you from the The SOLA System + Siblings, the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for creative, late identified autistic folks who are seeking another way to see, know and be yourself. This is a radical reimagining of what is possible when we redefine ourselves from within. By unlearning who we are not, making self connection our goal, activating the languages of our sensory oriented perception, and creating the culture shifts to activate futures + selves. It all starts within. TRANSCRIPT: https://www.solasystems.xyz/blog/007 _____________________ Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings

The sensory siblings podcast is hosted by Louisa Shaeri, and is beaming to you from the The SOLA System + Siblings, the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for creative, late identified autistic folks who are seeking another way to see, know and be yourself. This is a radical reimagining of what is possible when we redefine ourselves from within. By unlearning who we are not, making self connection our goal, activating the languages of our sensory oriented perception, and creating the culture shifts to activate futures + selves. It all starts within. TRANSCRIPT: https://www.solasystems.xyz/blog/006 _____________________ Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings

The sensory siblings podcast is hosted by Louisa Shaeri, and is beaming to you from the The SOLA System + Siblings, the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for creative, late identified autistic folks who are seeking another way to see, know and be yourself. This is a radical reimagining of what is possible when we redefine ourselves from within. By unlearning who we are not, making self connection our goal, activating the languages of our sensory oriented perception, and creating the culture shifts to activate futures + selves. It all starts within. For full transcripts, go to: https://www.solasystems.xyz/podcast _____________________ Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings

The sensory siblings podcast is beaming to you from the The SOLA System + Siblings, the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for creative, late identified autistic folks who are seeking another way to see, know and be yourself. This is a radical reimagining of what is possible when we redefine ourselves from within. By unlearning who we are not, making self connection our goal, activating the languages of our sensory oriented perception, and creating the culture shifts to activate futures + selves. For full transcripts, go to: https://www.solasystems.xyz/podcast Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings

Transcript: https://www.solasystems.xyz/blog/003 The sensory siblings podcast is hosted by Louisa Shaeri, and is beaming to you from the The SOLA System + Siblings, the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for creative, late identified autistic folks who are seeking another way to see, know and be yourself. Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings SOLA is a thoughtwork-technology-system for activating ['neuro-'] emergent (self-) knowledges and structures, created by artist and coach Louisa Shaeri, and developed in community.

For full transcripts, go to: https://www.solasystems.xyz/podcast The sensory siblings podcast is hosted by Louisa Shaeri, and is beaming to you from the The SOLA System + Siblings, the liberatory framework and unmasking unschool for creative, late identified autistic folks who are seeking another way to see, know and be yourself. Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings

For full transcripts, go to: https://www.solasystems.xyz/podcast _____________________ Are you on my mailing list, sibling? Join here solasystems.xyz for email broadcasts from The SOLA System to help you work to cultivate the self-clarity, self-acceptance and pride to BE who you are. The SOLA System + Siblings, the 6 month online 'unmasking unschool' guiding you on a journey through The SOLA System, alongside a community of siblings to share the journey with. Learn more: solasystems.xyz/siblings