The Vanilla Cone

Like Gandalf? In the movie 'Gandalfs Big Adventure'? Elijah Wood plays himself? Really? You don't remember this film? The whole script is in ABAB format? HOW CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER? Ok sorry for gaslighting you. I'm sure you were truly distraught. Thanks for all the support. Or none of the support. If your'e reading this. You're supporting. So thanks. As Elijah Wood once said, "goodbye Viggo, I'll see you around when I'm not a Hobbit." Beautiful words, sums up perfectly how we feel about all of the Cone Heads. :') See you in 9 Months.

It's a chess joke... like pawn to e5? You get it. I know you do. I hope you do. Do you? Do I?

Old Man-Sees? Old Man-zees... The knowledge of an older generation. Verbed. Some of the things this episode has for you are: Fishing, Giannis, and a lot of background movement.

Don't worry, this episode is sure to reach it's right demographic. Completely and totally justified as well. No apoligies from either of us. BTW, if you stay to the end you get to go get chicken with us.

A whole ass universe. Blame Garrett, or or or... blame me. IDK the rules here yet. Ok so blame Garrett. We talk a lot a smack about a lot of shit. Shit and smack in this one.

Ever wanted a oil change from a podcast?... no?... well, you shoulda told me that then :( We still did it of course. You'll be grateful one day.

James Cameron if you sue us... then you only make us martyrs. Also legally it won't work out when you do inevitably make this movie.

Stress balls, plastic balls, eyeballs. The world is your stress ball. We just are here to guide you on your journey.

The movie, 2, The squeakquel, 5, of the dead, return of the scary king, 8... THE MOVIE. Also some jokes about NBA TV. So if you're pining for some NBA TV specific humor... GREAT NEWS!

A lot of S words today. Many you wouldn't expect. I had an alternate title that was definetley not PG, but it woulda been great fun to send it out like that.

It makes sense you just gotta get into the logic. Once you are in... do close your eyes it's scary in there.

Back from traveling and more off the script than ever. In a good way, in a good way. No one talks about Will Smiths slap, I am dissapointed in the Oscars even with Wills slap, and the bear bit takes over the whole podcast. It is tremendously strong so it is not too hard to do.

First the hawks (the falcons?) and then the other teams that he did it to. Now the comeback has been made on the rest of the world. It's all he knows how to do. Oh and a bunch of fun plane talk too.

It's only half batman don't worry. JOKES HA! THERES LIKE A BIT MORE THAN HALF. Oh and sorry for being late. I blame Robert. Pattinson that is.

Yea man, I put in some legit legwork trying to think of a title. Here were my best ones. 1). A spiritual successor to "name 10 candy bars". 2). Bob Par and Mumble the penguin walk into a bar. 3). Scientifically "Flounder" is a Holacanthus bermudensis.

HA! You wish we were willing or able to give up that knowledge. POPEYES POPEYES POPEYES. There isn't even a conversation to be had... besides the long one we had about popeyes and only popeyes.

Special guest E.K. Menw is a practiced magician, podcaster and an all around pleasure. With little to no jokes in this one (HA) we get to the nitty gritty of what matters... psychically discerning the Superbowl and other questions that are equally or less important. Link to E.K. Menw Podcast on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1cF630Tapmcyy6Rv6abQqN

Solve mysteries, challenge everything the olympics have built and quickly realize, being bricked up probably doesn't equate to the podium. Probably...

Ready. Set. GOAT. Tom is blue balling the world with this fake not fake retirement. We are here to make it 0% better and 100% more confusing. Oh and also Dog-cage Cat-cage haunts my dreams now.

Please take into consideration all things said in this episode as a potential name for your team. None of them are jokes. Ok, one of them is a joke. We won't tell you which one though.

We mind our P's and Q's in this one. Btw I'm currently 65% of the way done with my 1000 cartwheels. You're alreayd behind.

Firstly, enjoy you're sausage roll. Secondly... you've been tricked! That sausage roll was for the kids. YOU'RE A MONSTER. No, but seriously go donate to end hunger in the world :) https://www.trusselltrust.org/walkers/

This time I have evidence, this time Santa is going down. Unless... well unless christmas magic steps in the way. I also wish badly I could title this episode "baking episoda" or "I'm So- da over Santa being my best friend" but well you know why I can't. All jokes aside, the santa in my picture was the coolest dude in the world, and no he doesn't smell like Marlboros ok? It was for a joke get over it. You can tell that I'm not worrying about it, so you shouldn't either.

Buckle in, buckle up, hold on tight. This one has no brakes. Have you ever listened to anyone fight for their life on a Podcast? This is as close as you might ever get. *editors note: SPECIAL Relativity sounds dumb as shit. I won't be convinced otherwise. - Kobe J.

For legal reasons, once again, we are fine. No one was hurt in the making of this episode. Well you might get hurt... from laughing so much. It's a called shot, I know. But I feel good about this one.

As nonsensical as it sounds. It's turkey time guys. And boy do we give these turkeys, time. No like seriously it's most of the episode. HAPPY THANKSGIVING SAY IT BACK.

Clerk: Amanda Smith Time: 6:21 Date:11/15/21 32 pack of garlic 64 pack of glitter pens 128 pack of green party glasses 128 pack of green party glasses Jumbo tub of glitter (600 oz.)

So we interviewed a neighborhood while they were trick or treating. I don't know what else ANYONE would want. I also stake my claim in this being our red carpet episode. So enjoyable.

The rock sings, an old man is cool, we give advice and no one goes home. You were trapped in a squids game this whole time.

Dear Listener, you've been invited to a slumber party! WOW! RAD! Where: HERE! When: NOW! What to bring: Parental supervision (we need chaperones :( because of Ben and Gal) and don't EVER forget to ask your parents permission. *also please bring whoMpers and tootsie rolls

Do you get it? Cuz we talk about fall... and Joel. You'll be calling him Joey soon don't worry.

BIC if you sue us then I will always choose papermate over you. Also... hey papermate whats up, sponsor us ;). Also Kobe is sorry for the flamingo anology.

Its a working title ok? Also ... Donda. You never know if it's the last Donda that will make your famous ya know? CLB also is in this one. For all the Drake purists out there.

All jokes aside go donate: https://campaign.awf.org/support-endangered-species/?animal=rhino&utm_source=semgprfsave&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=SEM_Rhino_Fundraising&gclid=Cj0KCQjwssyJBhDXARIsAK98ITSuOg7KPJ6DPMdMSsIWsnFVvhdrGUAPf-2u9pTj5ssmrAFJgi3FzxkaAmT1EALw_wcB Holy fuck that URL is big. Must be a good cause. Also this one is fun fun. Good luck in there.

Build your own podcast, run out of wings, build your own disaster and then finish with a rousing game of chicken. Nun-chucks optional through the whole process.

Scrubba dub dub 1 man in a tub. A preacher, a visionary, and my personal savior. Hi I'm here to talk to you about what it means to be a Mraz'er

So that happened. We interviewed the whole circus. Idk what else to say guys. Thank you to @anna.dangerous - @strongmantulga - @mrspring111 . Shoutout to everyone else we werent able to get and HUGE shoutout to Paco and thee one and only ringmaster Joshua.

My kids are there. OUR kids. They bite. It's in their nature... and they can't sit. So a timeout is out of the question.

Pleasantly surprised with how popular prison people primary for presidential positions. I call this one the JFK ;)

Sharp sharks facts, Sharp sharks facts, Sharp sharks facts. Kinda hard to say isn't it? :0

Idk peeps it is what it is. and what it is is fast. 45 minutes fast.

Edchup, a long conversation about our former basketball coach, and funny horse goofs.

I googled it. Owen Wilson said the second of the saga is going to be shot this summer. "Long awaited" is what the critics said... they must not have a lot of aspirations.

Friends, J. Beebs, Fast 9. In that order.

I lied. Of course it doesn't. Now are you angry I lied or happy the world is safe from intergalactic threats? That's what I thought. This one is chill. Come chill, and be chill.

Lost all of my wisdom in this one. On a real one they didn't give me my teeth after taking them out. I didn't want them... I just don't anyone else to have them either.

Padington 2 is the be all end all for humanity. By our own metrics we as a human race have peaked. All down hill from here so hop on our comedy sled.

Listen, sometimes puns are what I got. This was one of those times.

Comedy is at the end. If you felt the need to bask in the awkwardness that is bombing a set. Other than that just a lot of ocean boy talk.

This one has some good goofs hidden in some latency. That's just how the dice rolls baby. You won't notice it. But I know the truth.

I'm not saying that information is important nor pertinent. I just noticed it. Sue me. (legally if apple gets upset with that name. Please don't sue me).