Two Therapists Talking

David & Sherie finish talking about desires and our role in changing desires to better match the life we want to live. We want to move from knowing a thing to wanting a thing to loving a thing, and we talk about the final steps to do this. Here are all the steps in the process and the bold ones are covered in this episode:Understand what virtue really isStrengthen Your Why & Define your PurposeGenuinely pursue loving virtue with energy, vigor, and effort!Create experiences of loving virtue in triggering situations through visualizingSee Others as Souls, Not ObjectsShift from Suppression or avoidance to Acceptance and SubstitutionExpect Struggles, But Keep GoingSpiritual Practices

David & Sherie continue talking about desires and our role in changing desires to better match the life we want to live. We want to move from knowing a thing to wanting a thing to loving a thing, and we talk about additional steps to do this. Here are the steps in the process and the bold ones are covered in this episode:Understand what virtue really isStrengthen Your Why & Define your PurposeGenuinely pursue loving virtue with energy, vigor, and effort!Create experiences of loving virtue in triggering situations through visualizingSee Others as Souls, Not ObjectsShift from Suppression or avoidance to Acceptance and SubstitutionExpect Struggles, But Keep GoingSpiritual Practices

David & Sherie continue talking about how our desires impact our sobriety and recovery and go into more detail about how this works and why it happens.

David & Sherie begin exploring the concept of desires and how our desires impact, possibly more than anything else, our recovery journey. Our motivation, or truest or deepest desires, significantly impact our behavior and why we might be "stuck" and continue to act our when we also don't want to have this addiction or these issues anymore.

David & Sherie continue talking about our intrusive, unwanted thoughts and start with a really helpful exposure therapy exercise or visualization. We then finish talking about additional steps you can take to manage those intrusive thoughts even more.Don't Believe Everything You Think, by Joseph Nguyen: https://a.co/d/0hISYNnOvercoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts by Sally M. Winston PsyD, Martin N. Seif PhD: https://a.co/d/c7A6puk

David & Sherie continue talking about our intrusive, unwanted thoughts and talk about different methods of helping overcome these thoughts, focusing on exposure therapy and what that means.Don't Believe Everything You Think, by Joseph Nguyen: https://a.co/d/0hISYNnOvercoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts by Sally M. Winston PsyD, Martin N. Seif PhD: https://a.co/d/c7A6puk

David & Sherie continue talking about our intrusive, unwanted thoughts and talk about the 3 kinds of intrusive thoughts, common thought myths, and more about what we do about them. We referenced two books in the first episode:Don't Believe Everything You Think, by Joseph Nguyen: https://a.co/d/0hISYNnOvercoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts by Sally M. Winston PsyD, Martin N. Seif PhD: https://a.co/d/c7A6puk

David & Sherie begin talking about something everyone struggles with to some extent - what to do with our intrusive, unwanted thoughts! What they mean, why they're there, and what we can begin to do about them. This is the first episode in a series because there's so much good information. We reference two books in this episode:Don't Believe Everything You Think, by Joseph Nguyen: https://a.co/d/0hISYNnOvercoming Unwanted Intrusive Thoughts by Sally M. Winston PsyD, Martin N. Seif PhD: https://a.co/d/c7A6puk

David & Sherie finish talking about motivation and why it's at the heart of a change process. Continue listening to learn how to increase or improve or act better on you motivation. Listen as we review the last 6 of 9 steps:4. Create Routines & Systems5. Remove Barriers & Make It Easy6. Use Rewards & Accountability7. Track Your Progress8. Accept That Motivation Fluctuates9. Focus on Identity, Not Just Goals

David & Sherie talk about motivation and why it's at the heart of a change process. How does one increase or improve or act better on their motivation? Listen as we review the first 3 of 9 steps:1. Set Clear, Achievable Goals2. Connect to Your Why3. Start Small & Take Action

David & Sherie finish talking about internal family systems or IFS. This will help you to know if it's going to help in your own healing and growth process and whether or not more information will get you where you want to be. If so, we recommend the following books: No Bad Parts: https://a.co/d/9ezT5RVInternal Family Systems Workbook: https://a.co/d/buzWoerAre you interested in worthing with us directly? Please reach out! Work with David or learn more about him here: https://www.discoverinnovo.com/Work with Sherie or learn more about her here: https://lakewoodfamilytherapy.com/sherie-adams-christensen/

David & Sherie talk about internal family systems, started by Richard Schwartz. He attempted to help others work through their traumas and challenges and developed a way to do this that has since grown into an effective therapeutic method. Listen to this episode and see if it's interesting to you and might be something for you to look more into!Are you interested in worthing with us directly? Please reach out! Work with David or learn more about him here: https://www.discoverinnovo.com/Work with Sherie or learn more about her here: https://lakewoodfamilytherapy.com/sherie-adams-christensen/

David & Sherie finish talking about other conditions that are comorbid or run with addiction. We talk about ADHD and regulating impulse control and the effect that has on recovery, as well as autism, NPD, and obsessive compulsive personality disorder. Hopefully this helps you develop compassion for partners who struggle with these things.

David & Sherie talk about other things to be aware of when considering addiction recovery and how those things impact the process. Depression, for example, is important to recognize and understand when trying to work through recovery. Anxiety, ADHD, autism, and other mood and personality disorders are also considered. We also talk about dopamine and how the brain works when in addiction.

David & Sherie finish talking about steps to recovery for the betrayed partner and will finish up with the final 5 steps: know your values, learning, responding, not reacting, self-evaluation, and demonstrating empathy. Listen to learn more and make your recovery as good as it could be!

David & Sherie continue talking about the steps of recovery for the betrayed partner including forgiveness, understanding addiction, getting support, and committing to doing your own work.

David & Sherie talk about the updated steps to recovery for the betrayed partner, or the actual things they should be doing in a recovery process. There is a lot to do that helps, so use this as a roadmap for what to do when something happens or there is a recent discovery. And the more closely you follow these steps, the better! We cover taking time and space, having boundaries, and focusing on creating purpose from the pain in this episode.

David & Sherie continue talking about steps to recovery for the addict including understanding addiction yourself, working through past trauma, and holding boundaries in toxic relationships. All of these are vital to recovery!

David & Sherie cover the steps to recovery for the addict, with additions to our original episodes when we first started. Several additional steps like understanding addiction, processing past trauma and creating boundaries are now included.

David & Sherie finish talking about the letting go technique that will help with working through negative past experiences along with helping with stress and even triggers.

David & Sherie talk about a wondering technique for letting go of strong, negative emotions. It's a step-by-step guide that you can do on your own with a few minutes that will have a profound effect on how you feel. It comes from David Hawkins book Letting Go, which we highly recommend. Part one of two.

David & Sherie talk about why many relationships need a marriage contract, especially after infidelity and disclosure. We will talk about how to do it and what to cover so you can create your own.

David & Sherie talk about 3 simple (not necessarily easy!) things that every healthy and happy relationship need to have and do: be loving, communicate clearly, and hold boundaries until there's problem solving.

David & Sherie continue talking about what healthy couples do to have good relationships, and cover 5 things specifically that we can, including turning towards bids for connection, flipping your internal script, ritualize cherishing, learn to fight smarter, and making time together.

David & Sherie talk about trust as the foundation and begin a conversation about some of the healthier ways to show up in our relationships.

David & Sherie finish answering a question about how addiction progresses and how it survives, and how we might see this differently in ways that can help them and the relationshp move forward.

David & Sherie address an issue a listener enquired about - how porn or addiction progresses and if we would speak to that. We begin to explore this issue and agree that it does progress, but there's a lot of nuance. Part 1 of 2.

David & Sherie talk about the four things that really hurt relationships: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. Learn more about what those things are, how they show up, and why we want to avoid them!

David & Sherie finish talked about mourning and grieving by talking about healthy and unhealthy depression and acceptance, the final two stages in the traditional process of denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance.

David & Sherie continue talking about grieving in healthy ways, covering anger and bargaining. We will continue to talk about depression and acceptance in future episodes!

David & Sherie begin talking about grieving and how to do it well, or how to release and move through it sooner or more effectively. This will begin a series of episodes following the well know DABDA model of grieving: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

David & Sherie finish talking about borderline and what to do to help and encourage someone struggling with it.

David & Sherie start to talk about another important relationship dynamic that might include borderline personality disorder, referred to simply as borderline. What does it look like, what's behind it, and eventually, what can we do with it?

David & Sherie finish talking about the equation for sobriety by finishing the final items: sobriety = self-worth + overcoming addiction enabling patterns + motivation + tools + accountability + consequences. Discover what's missing in order to better establish and maintain sobriety in your life!

David & Sherie talk about what the actual equation is for sobriety and more about each item. Sobriety = self-worth + overcoming addiction enabling patterns + motivation + tools + accountability + consequences. We begin to go into each one of these to help you discover what's missing for you if you're not sober!

David & Sherie begin talking about sobriety and what it is, and how it's the beginning of the recovery process. We talk about what it is and what it isn't, what white knuckling is and begin a conversation on how to get sober long-term.

David & Sherie talk about creating a marriage contract that helps guide the relationship and teaches both partners about the needs of their spouse. Good for rebuilding as well as starting at the beginning!

David & Sherie talk about how trust and safety in the relationship isn't all or nothing, and this can actually hinder recovery, reconciliation and healing. What are the different levels and how can we think about this? This episode will help with this concept.

David & Sherie finish talking about steps to come out of victimhood including personal safety versus relationship safety and finding ultimate meaning from hard things that have happened in the relationship.

David & Sherie talk about specific steps to take in order to come out of victimhood and into a healthier, better place. This includes having empathy and differentiating between unwilling and unable and other helpful tools. This is part 1 of 2 to finish our series on victimhood.

David & Sherie start to talk about how to make meaning out of meaning and how to use this to move from victim to survivor to creator. We also recommend the book The Choice by Edith Eger and how to create positive meaning from negative experiences.

David & Sherie continue talking about the negatives of being in a victim stance or remaining in victimhood. We will then follow up on what to do about it!

David & Sherie talk about the downsides of being in victimhood and why it's not what it's cracked up to be. This is the first part of two episodes.

David & Sherie talk about what victimhood is and how to know if you or someone else might be in it, or what characteristics define being in a victim stance. This comes before we talk about why it can be so dangerous to growth.

David and Sherie begin a conversation about victimhood, and how to avoid being in victimhood despite being a legitimate victim of betrayal or other situation.

David & Sherie review some ways to deal with being in a relationship with someone who is NPD using BIFF (brief, informative, friendly, and firm) and other techniques.

David & Sherie talk about aspects of the NPD cycle, or how they engage with other people. This will help you to recognize even more if you're caught in these patterns.

David & Sherie talk now about how to deal with people who struggle with narcissism and how to try to manage through challenging relationships.

David & Sherie continue talking about narcissism and different classifications or manifestations of it and what it means in relationships.

David & Sherie start to explore what narcissism is and how to spot it. This is the first in a series where we explore not only what it is but how to deal with someone who is a narcissist.

David & Sherie finish talking about parenting as we've spent some time on different ways to help parent your children and this is the final principles we want to share.