Walk Out Boys Podcast

Half of THE PREDATOR: The Predator is back to kick some ass on Earth! But this time he's without his signature 'hat' and 'armband', and to make matters worse there's another more conservative dog-loving predator out to get him! What a day! All this, a ton of bad jokes, and James Cromwell starts a new but expected career!

Mission Impossible: Fallout. Ethan Hunt is back to his old tricks of making it seem like he doesn’t know what he’s doing when he does in fact know what he’s doing! A real nightmare to work with probably. Nic and Joe come up with a clever workaround for Henry Cavill’s moustache problems and congratulate themselves for finally getting James Cromwell verified on Twitter!

The Merc With The Mouth is back to kick ass and crack wise about overseas box office revenue in this sequel that stars a true blue goddamn New Zealander! Go kiwi! Featuring some classic deadpool meta jokes that get all a bit too real for the walk out boys, and some piping hot casting news about James Cromwell.

Nic and Joe are back in the saddle ready to walk out halfway through any movie no matter how much they don’t want to. Luckily for them Solo: A Star Wars movie is FINE only. Ever wondered where Han got his gun? Or if his last name was a family name or just some random name given to him by a customs agent? Or if Han’s pants are actually another Star Wars creature? Or what happened to Junkens, Han’s beloved sidekick we made up? Find all the answers and more in this week’s show!

A star of Kiwi Christamas joins the boys for a real Christmas miracle of an episode!

After barely a year of waiting the sequel to Bad Moms is here! Nic and Joe try to form a coherent story out of the first-halves of two different movies and fail miserably. It’s Christmas time in Chicago (Antartica) and the Bad Moms are fed up! But when all their Bad Moms arrive for the holidays things go from Bad, to Badder. And somehow the animated pig from Sing gets involved. This one is quite confusing.

Idris Elba and Kate Winslet star in this tale of survival and romance and delicious cougar-meat. Trapped on a literal mountain with a figurative mountain, Idris and Kate must make it back to New York before their tasty cougar-meat runs out. With nothing but their wits and a backpack full of scrumptious cougar-meat, can our heroes survive all these mountains between them? And above all odds, will sparks fly (apart from the sparks being used to cook tender cougar-meat)?

It's the future and Gerard Butler has covered the earth in satellites that shoot storms with bullets to make them stop storming. Sounds great right? Unfortunately the boys saw the one half of Geostorm that didn't have a single goddamn Geostorm in it, just scientists checking emails and talking about their ties. We also find out who James Cromwell's most famous friend is. Hint: you will not guess who it is.

Happy Death Day (i can’t think of a joke can you Joseph): What would you do if every day was the same and also you got murdered by a giant baby? The boys saw half of 'Happy Death Day’, a fun horror flick that follows a girl named tree who just can’t stop getting murdered! But just who is the murderer? A friend in a baby mask? A baby in a baby mask? Or a beloved comedian who is notoriously elusive… Also featuring the animals from ice age for some reason that we can’t remember.

Beloved (presumably) 1990s thriller Flatliners has been rebooted for a new generation! It's got all the things you loved (we assume) from the first one: flatlining! Kiefer Sutherland! Raves? Who knows! Ellen Page stars as a renegade medical student obsessed with stopping her heart so she gain the ability to play the piano, bake bread, and rave! Did we mention rave? So many raves! But does flatlining have a dark consequence? We literally don't know! We only saw half the film!

After weeks of anticipation and critical panning, The Emoji Movie finally arrives in little ole New Zealand. Was it worth the wait? Probably not if you were hoping for nice animation, fun, adventure, or jokes. In the second half Nic and Joe fill in the gaps of some of the obvious Apps the film should have visited and come up with about 30 Emoji-based jokes that are better than the ones they saw in the first half (obviously apart from Patrick Stewart as the shit).

Stephen King's gigantic, beloved fantasy saga THE DARK TOWER is brought to life in this short and utterly baffling movie! Idris Elba plays the gunslinger, a man who loved guns just as much as he hates the Man In Black. Matthew McConaughey plays the Man In Black, who hates the gun slinger just as much as he loves shooting kid brains at a weird tower so that it's protective umbrella will fall. Also there's a kid from New York with a dead dad and a dimensional portal run on a dial up modem and a demon made out of wood chips.

The boys saw half of Luc Besson's epic silly space opera and made up the rest. Valerian, a jerk space cop in a Hawaiian shirt and his partner Lauraline, a jerk space cop in a bikini race to save the city of a thousand planets from...something? Possibly from filling up with soup. Cara Delevingne learns some secrets from a jellyfish's butt. Nobody likes their job. Everyone is confused.

Atomic Blonde: After a trip to the depths of the South Island to pointlessly record Alive and Cromwell Live in Cromwell the boys are back in the saddle, seeing half of ATOMIC BLONDE! Charlize Theron plays Lorraine...uh...Blonde(??): an ass-kicking, vodka drinking, cold bath-taking, girl kissing super spy who's been sent to Berlin to find a watch and throw away every hose she finds. The big question though: is honey a drink? A very loose episode from two Walk Out Boys who maybe did not pay as much attention to this movie as they should have.

We saw half of the third Planet Of The Apes flick and boy did we love it. It's got everything: grizzled old men, grizzled old apes, little girls who don't speak, and lots of war! In the second half we uncover who the real enemy of the franchise is (hint: it's horses) and an old friend arrives just in time to save the day. Plus our hero James Cromwell is currently serving symbolic jail time! God speed Jamie, stay alive and Cromwell.

Lightening McQueen and the other cars are back to tackle the kid-friendly issue of impending retirement! We answer some of the long-puzzled over questions of the Cars cinematic universe like: What is inside a Car? Which is the most oppressed Car minority? And Is there a Car God? In the second half the cars encounter a tear in the fabric of reality that leads to a horrifying discovery and another brave Pixar Art House ending. Also out in the real world our good friend James Cromwell has been sentenced to a week in jail! Godspeed in there James Cromwell, please stay #aliveandcromwell

The boys saw half of the new Transformers movie. What is it about? Who's to say? How long is it? Very long! Who is in it? Anthony Hopkins and a thousand reprehensible horrible sexist robots who refuse to even transform and somehow can make baby transformers now?? Who knows. A very silly episode about a very silly podcast. Sponsored by a bee keeper.

It's the mummy reboot the world has presumably been crying out for! This summer blockbuster has everything: a mummy, Nick from New Girl, Tom Cruise as Nick not from New Girl, half of Russell Crowe's face, and of course...a fresh batch of messed up kids from Miss Peregrine's school for messed up children.

The story of King Arthur you know and love, now with giant elephants and octopus women! Guy Ritchie's paws are all over this film, as are the paws of giant wolves, the wings of giant bats, and the scales of giant snakes. And that's just the first half before it all really goes off the rails and slides into a multidimensional clusterfuck that can only be saved by something big (but not too big). Trailer: Boners of The Heart

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MEN SPREAD THE WORD With guest Walk Out Boy Tim Batt (Worst Idea Of All Time) the crew get shipshape for half of the new Pirates Of The Caribbean movie. Does this new entry to the franchise adhere to Joseph's three rules of POTC movies? Are fish submarines? And what does documentary filmmaker Michael Moore have to do with this movie? All this and a very creepy new sponsor in this week's episode! Trailer: Boners of The Heart

Sponsored by COMEDYFESTIVAL.CO.NZ In this live episode the boys review the first half of The Boss Baby with the help of a fan's parents in the audience. There is also a public apology from one of the Walk Out Boys for betraying the trust of his fellow boy and his loyal fans (hint: it's not Nic). Plus extra special James Cromwell news! Trailer: Boners of The Heart

Sponsored by COMEDYFESTIVAL.CO.NZ Dominic Toretto and the gang are back and more driving-cars-over-things-that-shouldn't-be-driven-over than ever! Nic and Joseph watch half of the 8th movie in the best movie franchise ever. But is it losing steam? Are there too many bald guys now? Should Dom just give up the life of an outlaw and focus on what really matters: raising an aging backwards child version of The Rock...all this and your most up to date James Cromwell news on this episode of Walk Out Boys. Trailer: The Worst Idea of All Time

The live action remake of Ghost In The Shell has got everyone talking, and one of the Walk Out Boys sleeping! In the future a robot with a person-brain and her friend 'microscope-eyes' are tasked with tracking down a robot with tattoos. At least that's what we think happened, one of us was asleep for a lot of it. Then later on there's some real ghosts and some exciting computer typing. Plus a demonic baby and the president of all animals: James Cromwell. Trailer: The Worst Idea of All Time

It's a tale as old as time: a prince is given a terrible curse along with his swan-loving staff, reading eight books somehow makes you a scholar, and being gay is a great punchline. You'd think it would be easy to make up the second half of a very faithful adaptation of an animated movie that Joseph and Nic have already seen. Somehow they still manage to get hung up on soup for the second week in a row. Featuring the worst song to ever appear in a Disney movie. Trailer: Boners of The Heart

POWER RANGERS SOUP: The Power Rangers are back on the big screen and we saw the first half! Did you know Nic was a Power Ranger? Don't worry he'll remind you constantly as the boys discuss rangers, sexism in archaeology, and Joseph's violent childhood tendencies. In the second half a blast from ranger past appears to join the new team as they face Rita Repulsa and her most dangerous monster yet...Sponsored by a baby named Maurice.

The boys saw half of Kong: Skull Island while on different islands. One of them liked it, the other did not, one of them thinks Kong should be a bit smaller, the other thinks Kong should be a lot smaller. But one thing Joseph and Nic can both agree on is that animals the size of buildings love receiving literary prizes and there definitely should have been more than one woman in this entire film. Sponsored by a baby called Maurice. Trailer: The Male Gayz

A special bonus episode of Walk Out Boys! We watched half of a short film starring none other than the pig-whisperer himself James Cromwell! This is a must for fans of the WOB extended universe as we meet James Cromwell's arch nemesis, and find out who was really responsible for Sully's plane crash...

Needing a break from American blockbusters, we took in half of the French biopic of Jacques Cousteau! A gorgeous looking film about a man who loves the sea more than he loves his sons or his wife. Nic and Joseph butcher the beautiful French language and the life of this venerated explorer, the podcast gains a young new sponsor, and please James Cromwell if you're out there let us know that you are alive! Trailer: Boners of The Heart

Our first live episode! Just when you thought it was safe to watch a video on your computer...Samara the piracy-hating ring ghost is back to put her whole ghost fist in your mouth and either kill you or get you into the shape of your life! Featuring cameos from all your walk out boys favourites, and of course...Alive And Cromwell. Trailer: The Male Gayz

In an ancient time (possibly the 1960s), a heroic traveller named Matt Damon joined a mysterious army to defend the Great Wall of China from an army of lizard-dogs. Will bungee cords, scissors, and magnets be enough to stop these bad, bad dogs? Or will Matt Damon need to find the courage to build some budget furniture out of arrows? What is the mysterious origin of these lizard-dogs? Is pasta more deadly than noodles? Have we seen the last of Captain Joe's Lawn Trimmings? What news does James Cromwell have for us? Does any of this show make sense any more?!

We saw half of the sequel to Fifty Shades Of Grey! No more rules, no more contracts! Many more haircuts, sex-balls, and scary ghost-girls popping in to interrupt all the steamy oral sex. Just what is going on with Christian's chest (aka the bit that would be the windows on Optimus prime)? What is his preferred method of travelling the globe? And what Walk Out Boys alumni lurk in his sordid past...All this and the horrific continuing saga of Captain Joe's Lawn Trimmings!

SPLIT: From the mind (and possibly dream-journal) of M. Night Shyamalan comes Split, a movie about a man with 25 distinct and dangerous personalities. There's the dangerous Dennis, the cold Patricia, and a cute kid called Hedwig. And that's just in the half that we actually saw. In the second half we reveal more of Kevin's hidden personalities, as well as having a guess at what the ultimate form of human evolution might look like (HINT: binoculars for eyes, cups for hands). Brought to you as always by Captain Joe's Lawn Trimmings.

SPONSORED BY CAPTAIN JOE'S LAWN CLIPPINGS Thirty or forty years on Vin Diesel returns as Xander Cage, the guy who everybody wants to have sex with SO BAD and never uses a skateboard on the correct surface. This time he's on a secret mission to...do...something...we can't really remember. But he drives a motorbike on the ocean and has a friend who's a DJ! Featuring some very exciting James Cromwell news and sponsored by Captain Joe's Lawn Trimmings.

We took half a ride aboard a sexy spaceship to a distant planet with Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence. But is this a sleeping beauty tale, a goldilocks tale, or something more sinister? The second half really kicks into gear with some cameos from old Walk Out Boy alumni as well as a horrific and possibly much deserved comeuppance for one of the passengers. Also James Cromwell followed Nic on Twitter! Trailer: The Worst Idea of All Time

Hello listener! We hope you've had a happy new year and are looking forward to bringing you more Walk Out Boys for 2017 but for right now, here's a sample of some of the other shows you may not have heard yet...

We saw the first half of animated animal X-Factor movie 'Sing!' about an Australian Koala with Matthew McConaughey's American voice who hosts a singing competition for some incredibly sad animals with nothing to lose. Just DO NOT mention the fact that they are animals!!! The second half delves deep into the true nature of the baffling world this movie has set up, as well as once again ending up in a courtroom full of animals. But don't mention the the fact that they are animals! #GetJamesCromwellVerified

Sponsored by FLICKS.CO.NZ We saw the first half of Star Wars spinoff/prequel Rogue One and let me tell you, it sure seemed like some good stuff was going to go down in the second half! Featuring another embarrassing attempt by Joseph to explain the Star Wars universe, more discussion on why old white CGI actors are getting all the roles, and a climactic finale involving a famous coffee chain and the return of an old Gungan friend! Trailer: Boners of The Heart

SPONSORED BY FLICKS.CO.NZ Remember those little guys you put on the top of pencils? They're a movie now! A very fun movie about trolls with celebrity voices who just want to rave all night to the hottest mash ups! Their hair does lots of crazy stuff and that's just fine! Some goblins want to eat the trolls and possibly shove them elsewhere! Justin Timberlake has a huge gripe with the Mickey Mouse Club! And did you guess that this film ends with some very confusing time travel? All this and Alive And Cromwell on this week's trolltastic episode! Trailer: Boners of The Heart

SPONSORED BY FLICKS.CO.NZ TOO BAD SANTA: It's the most wonderful, horrific, offensive, disgusting time of the year! We saw half of long awaited (?) sequel to Bad Santa, Bad Santa 2! Now with more uses of the N word, more relentless dwarf jokes, and more Kathy Bates taking a dump! And that's all before we start making stuff up...The second half features more discussion of Cameron Diaz in The Mask than you would expect from a movie she is not in, as well as a truly special end to Tim Allen's The Santa Claus franchise. We're truly sorry about this disgusting episode. Trailer: Boners of The Heart

SPONSORED BY FLICKS.CO.NZ The Harry Potter world is back! But did it ever leave or are all movies actually Harry Potter movies? This one stars Eddy Redmayne as a weird wizard in a brave new world of weird wizards proving possibly that wizard schools might not be producing the most well-rounded adults. The second half gets bogged down heavily in the baking of pastries and the cooking of pizza, and there are some hideous revelations about the true nature of these fantastic beasts and the supposed 'heroes' of the story. Trailer: Boners of The Heart

SPONSORED BY FLICKS.CO.NZ Nic and Joseph sadly walk out of the excellent Arrival, the movie about squid (or hand)-shaped aliens squirting goo on a wall. But what do you get an alien for its birthday when it has no concept of time? How helpful will they even be in an ET-like crisis? And what hero of the Walk Out Boys podcatic-universe will arrive to save the day YET AGAIN? Featuring our new segment Alive And Cromwell, where we check in on actor James Cromwell to make sure we never incorrectly mistake him for being dead again! Trailer: Boners of The Heart

SPONSORED BY FLICKS.CO.NZ The format of the podcast is really wearing down Nic and Joseph's concentration, so explaining political popcorn thriller Jack Reacher: Never Go Back is a tough ask for the boys. But not as tough as Tom Cruise's many films and many film jobs, as we find out in the second half! Trailer: The Male Gayz

SPONSORED BY FLICKS.CO.NZ Marvel's Dr Strange, a film about incredible possibilities and a doctor who is AT LEAST a little bit strange. In this epic journey of getting hand injuries, Nic and Joseph have learned that reading books doesn't necessarily make you a wizard. Sometimes your dad being rich will make you a wizard! Nic reveals his very rebellious past as a sparkling-wielding a-hole of a kid and Joe is really enjoying all the cogs that are present in the fight scenes of this first half of a movie. Don't miss the fantastic assumed second half of this adventure delivered by your Walk Out Boys but also really REALLY don't mention Inception. Trailer: Boners of The Heart

SPONSORED BY FLICKS.CO.NZ The boys saw half of Da Vinci Code 3 and just like Tom Hanks are left with more questions than answers. Why does Dan Brown hate art so much? Why is there a drawer full of swords? What is art? Why are the canals of Florence filled with paint? And why is the greatest puzzle of all a Wasjig? All these questions and potentially no answers on this week's Walk Out Boys.