Cameron and Brock have known each other since they were 6. It took them almost 30 years to podcast about it. They haven't really talked all THAT much since high school, and now they each have a bunch of kids, and growing up in Christian homeschooled northwest Florida seems like it was oh so very lon…
There’s some nice banter early in this episode of Cameron’s weekend off the grid, but later on, we chew on some good topics: climate anxiety, existential anxiety, and the uniquely negative effect growing up evangelical can have on someone’s ability to deal with conflicting information (and manipulation). If any of that rings familiar for you, try this one out, it MAY help. We hope so. It helps us!
Brock discusses microdosing Carolina Reapers, and teabags of Carolina Reapers, and the heat graph of Carolina Reapers. Cameron has a yard and a porch now. Everyone needs a novelty experience in their kitchen.
Brock waxes hither and yon about the nuances of language and words, while Cameron mostly just talks about his upcoming procedure that will guarantee that when the aliens come in 10,000 years all that will be left of him is a pair of titanium clips.
Cameron and Brock talk about the ethical churn of capitalism, and it’s all very thoughtful and productive, but help me here: wasn’t there a gag on Arrested Development around the food/decor in their house being props of the brand name “Roomfill” or some such? Cameron relies on this (possibly nonexistent) gag often in this episode, and now Cameron can’t verify that that gag actually exists, and it’s making Cameron feel crazy. Anyway, this episode is good.
Here’s what I had written down during this episode’s recording: D&D Alignment, Not Those Friends, Brock’s Hand Gash, Wardrobe Is What You Wear, ONE DONGLE. Let’s just go with that!
Cameron and Brock were good kids who didn’t hurt a damn fly. A spectrum of Star Wars is discussed, from the Celebration down to the complex and emotionally fraught “Star Wars Cards”. Brock takes a stand against playing a board game fifty times. Cameron can’t handle any more weeks of NYAW. When you have to tell a child to “use your words”, nobody wins. Cameron confesses to petty theft.
Cameron isn’t concerned with your junk being one hand away, but Brock is. Cameron generally blames the enthusiast ringleader. Brock has strong feelings about the incorporeal undead army in … look, this episode is mostly Star Wars and Lord of the Rings talk; I could describe my way around it, but I want to point out that it took OVER A YEAR for this to finally happen.
We discuss Real Egg Percentage Numbers. In the middle ages, people were total jerks. Brock didn’t get any fancy medicine. When THEY did the pagan rituals, they were CURRENT. You’ve gotta bend your idea to the theme of the year if you want to come out ahead on Unday.
We discuss Brock’s gigabits and Cameron’s off-brand weighted blanket. We also discuss hoverboards, Segways, impostor syndrome, hashtags, meta-podcast-discussion-about-the-podcast, creating as its own reward, and Cameron’s son’s lyrical prowess, ALL BEFORE BREAKFAST.
Loaded terms! Toxic online communities! Behavioral norms! Considering your fellow humans! Getting hit in the nuts! If I, your anonymous podcast description editor, were to rank Top Actually Useful And Serious Episodes Of Cameron And Brock Are Two People, this one would be a gilded example. If you listen to one not-serious episode, check out Episode 21 and marvel at the Fire Museum, but otherwise, tuck right into this steaming pot pie of shared ideas and scoop out a steaming hunk of healthy discussin’.
Brock’s dog is a zen master. Cameron’s cat is going to be a fast follow. Listen: if you’ve been worried that CB2P has been too subserious and goof-ridden lately, have I got a treat for you! We spend the majority of this episode careening (earnestly, but still definitely careening) through Cameron’s new Theory Of Why People Can’t Argue About Anything Serious. Brace yourselves.
Cameron recounts Disney-related travails. Brock has learned to value the intangibles of the $20 hamburger. Cameron and Brock are not the target audience for the broke dad shirts. There are Jeep nods for lots of things,. Ultimately, it wasn’t so bad – the chocolate smell was stronger than the bile smell.
Cameron was a sheet sleeper. Brock speaks to himself in plural. Cameron went reverse shopping. Sumerian anti-piracy techniques are discussed. There was no timer on Cameron’s dinner. You stand on a street corner and throw a rock, you should be able to hit a Dorito – this is America, after all.
Cameron has respect for the brick press. Brock should be careful about the scale of his meatworking shop. Cameron is at home with his unfounded fear of microwaves. Brock doesn’t want to pick a genre for his kitchen. Cameron got the big peanuts. We attempt to restore the poignancy of Labor Day via a renaming.
Cameron's daughter's stuffed cat needs a living will. We workshop a service that pre-relics childrens' toys. Brock's not going to go out and buy a 12-spatula gift set. Cameron brought two cubes of dishes. Consumption happens when you purchase something, not when you get rid of it, is what Cameron realized, finally.
Dust off your zoot suit, get your knees ready to Charleston, and let season 2 of Cameron And Brock Are Two People ever so gently lead you through this weird nothing year and back into the Roaring Twenties. After discussing exactly HOW many fat stacks the government is going to end up owing Brock, we christen season 2 with a wade through bands and band wardrobes of Woodstock ‘99, and somehow turn that experience into an OPTIMISTIC take on human progress.
Brock has a dayshift headache. Cameron may have hallucinated a Disney raccoon. Cameron and Brock are too old to be lifting humans. The secret to getting older is to raise the floor and lower the ceiling. We discuss the possibility that we’re all part of a giant math equation. It’s a hoot!
Cameron has a bowtie he’s never tied. Brock wants to wear a cape. Hang onto your hats you carry around just to look fancy, folks – we’re here to revolutionize the world of mens’ comfortwear. Somebody get Duluth Trading Co. on the horn – we need to talk to them about button-up robes and legless shorts, STAT.
Don’t ever use a possessive noun before the word “dongle”. We discuss how much more existential anxiety your personal devices COULD be providing. Cameron had to get snow before coffee. Brock was an instant grits family. Cameron wants to run more off-brand taste tests.
We start breaking ground on a transformative new holiday experience. When dozens of very affordable briskets arrive at your grocery store around the summer solstice, you’ll know we’ll have won over the beef cabal and/or consortium. Brock provides Disney tips. Cameron dismisses tiramisu as “wet bread”. We field our very first voicemail from a faithful listener.
Take a trip back to life before the midterms with this episode, recorded just before all that business. Brock invents the word "rerefer". We both express hope that jingoism isn't the final form of patriotism in America, and that progress exists in the world. We also discuss replacing ourselves with robots.
This podcast is best viewed at 1024x768. At some point, cars got blobby, and we’re not sure why. Cameron reminisces back to the heady days of the button spritesheet. If you’re looking to get into design, just say “holistic” a lot and that things feel azure, and you’ve got it made.
The ideas keep flowing this week, as we invent a sort of device ecosystem of parental sentinels for keeping children in their beds at night. Comforting body heat? Programmatically generated existential rhetoric? Bluetooth connectivity? Cheez-it dispenser? Sleep Daddy and Cuddle Mommy have it all. Patents pending.
Cameron uses coffee to swallow a pill, live on microphone. Brock survived another hurricane. Cameron doesn’t understand why they cut holes in new road. Your two 140-decibel timeouts a day can be a gift you give to literally everyone around you. EVERYONE. The weaponization of the timeout is a short-term problem.
America has improved on literally everything else we inherited from the UK – why not the knighthood system? Join us on a journey toward an, in retrospect, obvious and inevitable market opportunity: honorifics. Start saving your pennies now, because you’re going to want to be in on the ground floor of this golden opportunity, or my name isn’t Chicken Hyphen Nuggets Cameron Daigle, U.S.A.
Cameron overdoses on tea. Brock is a coffee bubble boy. How about some some juicy baby shrimp on that pizza? Cameron’s sleep was stolen by K-Pop Tony Hawk. Cameron and Brock discuss the distressing Instagram trend of clinical food dissection. How about some pickles on that pizza? How about some MAYO on that pizza?
We’re back after an altogether unexplained absence! Cameron and Brock share storytelling techniques for getting their children to go the heck to sleep. Cameron generally works in the castles/festivals/magical forest vein, while Brock weaves tales of eldritch horror and ancient terror. Cameron takes great pleasure in being able to mention Thrackan Sal-Solo. Doctor Hamheim likes ham.
It's the LASIK episode! Two weeks into lasered eyes, we're finally climbing out of the politics-and-religion hole to talk about some good old-fashioned eye cuttin'. And don't forget, if you have questions about lasers, corneal flaps, Brock's perfect eyesight, or Cameron's resistance to Valium, dial 25-25-HEY-CAM today.
Dear listeners, you may notice that there is no Episode 29. That's on purpose! Join us as we reflect on the fact that sometimes the best thing to do is record a podcast, learn from it, and NOT upload it. Also: Cameron is 10,000 tiny decisions lighter. Learn why a "Coolapeño" isn't as great as it sounds. A cornucopia is a bad basket.AN ANNOUNCEMENT: We are now accepting voicemails! We see no downside to this plan. Please dial 25-25-HEY-CAM – that's (252) 543-9226 – with your question, comment, complaint, recipe, joke, or series of filthy, filthy curses, and we will address your voicemail accordingly.
It's all about the other 97% of the universe. Cameron can't take a 7-year-old to a bar. You don't have to invent Chicago for a story. Brock is constantly disappointed by the physics of the real world. Cameron probably invents the word "perfunctorily". We dig deep into the highs and lows of No Man's Sky, and also the highs and lows of the crappy version of the Matrix we call "reality".
You thought the Fire Museum (episode 21) was a million-dollar idea? Here's a TWO-million-dollar idea: the Phobia Museum. Brock's knows he's claustrophobic, but his report from the Phobia Museum will help him know WHY he's claustrophobic. We're going to help people learn so MUCH about themselves. Also: chinchilla hats, sloth baskets, and birds what poop out their mouths.
We celebrate our half-year birthday with the first 3 minutes of this podcast having screwy audio. Cameron grew up 5 minutes fast. Brock has lost the ability to lose contact with outer realities. It's hard to idealize any point in American history in between three-cornered hats and now. We definitely don't figure out what sextants are for. There's too much available information. Your intellect is not a gas. Cameron pines for community via proximity.
Draw one wavy line down the long side of a church bulletin and it's all stick men and tanks from there. Sometimes you've just got to put the avocado on the bathroom floor. We discuss the possibility of one being a sociopath via laziness and privilege, stare into the abyss of our current Presidential situation, and wonder what the Ethical Republican Christians are up to these days.
Brock's name is a heretofore unspecified onomatopoeia. Cameron recommends the film "Chopping Mall". Brock isn't ready to pass on his legacy. Cameron lacked the self-actualization to eat more Sbarro. Brock's children need to stop licking things.
Cameron doesn't want more items in his mental queue. James Jameson needs a modded barrel. Cameron dropped the bottle rocket in the floorboards. Brock invents the word "incautious". We spend a while dipping back into high school reading assignments with Camus' The Stranger. Cameron says the "R" word.
Some people are more scared by the unfinished business ghost. Horror is the hot sauce of films. Cameron's CRT minimap was pixel oatmeal. Brock could spot the REAL engineers. Cameron knows enough about computers to be pre-demoralized.
Cameron didn't know the wok process. Page 3 of Google isn't what it used to be. Only narcissistic cartographers reveal their occupation. You're not paying $40 to burn a pile of Cheerios. In a burst of inspiration, we produce the next great museum concept. You're going to want to hear this. It will involve a LOT of waivers.
Brock has over-locked his house. Cameron thinks he ran away one time. No bacon unless you're all at the table. Children are chaotic neutral. Cameron hallucinated a cursing man at the movies. Corporations are trying to cut down the forest to make elevator buttons. You'd think "Let People Vote" would be a simple phrase.[Addendum: we recorded this episode on Tuesday morning, before the latest news coverage regarding planned tent cities for immigrant children separated from their parents, and before the walkthrough of an existing detainment center for immigrant children housed inside a former Wal-Mart, with bar codes on childrens' wristbands, 2 hours of outside time a day, and a mural of Trump on the wall. Those items would have colored my side of the last 30-45 minutes of this podcast significantly more strongly. - Cameron]
Computers were always disposable. Apparently kids don't reinstall their Windows anymore. There's a black hole in personal computer history. Windows would never find a driver. The shared culture was a silver lining. How many people do you NEED to have a shared experience with, anyway?
Politics talk morphs into religion talk PRETTY quickly in this one, and we really never shovel ourselves back out, so buckle up, folks. Cameron is unconvinced that everyone believes in societal progress. Brock wants to balance without equivocating. Now's as good a time as any to emphasize that we're doing our best off the cuff here to have sincere conversations about difficult topics, so maybe use TWO buckles and LET'S GET READY TO RAMMBBBBBLLLLEEE(After this one, I'm positing Cameron is some sort of Chaotic Good situation, and Brock is Lawful Neutral.)
History condenses. The Star Wars shirts were too new for Cameron. Dawson's Creek is playing music from the future. We're guessing there are trendy fishermen out there. It turns out Brock was running friend interference for Cameron our entire childhood. Brock's family yells, but Cameron's family is mean. We discuss the tendency one might have to try and "solve" their family the way they solve their job.
It's probably the logic board. Cameron's manual process window is awfully small. Eventually you run out of floppy disks to scour for fonts. Cameron and Brock both spent some time drawing cursors. Don't move your grandfather's icons around. Brock claims at some point people carried phones around on their necks? Cameron warns listeners of the friction coefficient of sheer fabric on hardwood floor. Florida folks have their car windows open often, so they have to yell SOMETHING out of there.
There's a lot of waiting involved in surfing. Brock reminisces about surfing at 4am, while Cameron reminisces riding a large bar of soap in the ocean. There was still social anxiety past the wave break. Breakfast happened AFTER Cameron's 2 hours of practice. It's time to compare your steak with your toothpaste: the Steak Ratio makes a reappearance as Cameron talks about a spreadsheet for an excruciating amount of time.
It's not called a "bazzoo". Brock's still not used to using multiple decades to describe things he's owned. Calvin never had a birthday. The Travel Yahtzee pad was unused. Brian wanted to finish his game of Risk. Cameron couldn't keep his shoes on. The dice don't have to be in a line.
Teach a man to brisket, and he probably won't actually do it that often. Brock invents the word "Normalicy". Goldfish don't really hoard. You have to clear out the toy sediment. Our first mailbag segment features Bill Murray AND a bassoon.
Brock wasn't talking about Matt from Kittium. Cameron was talking about Brobdingnag. Don't inscribe every book you give everyone. Cameron reminisces about listing to the baseball game on the radio, because Cameron turns 83 this year. We close out with 20 minutes of failing to notify ourselves 10 years ago what they were doing wrong.
Join us as we record as the sun rises as we attempt to survive our new early-morning schedule. Nobody mentioned the edamame hummus. At one point, there were three separate bundles of celery. We examine the efficacy of the steak ratio system.(A little housekeeping note: this episode has crackly audio, again. We have a plan to address this for next week and hopefully it will stop being a problem. You're not as sad about it as we are, we promise.)
It’s hard to turn down a temporary free set of hot dogs. Cameron ruins game shows, and Brock ruins parades. Brock invents the words “civilizational” and “ongoingly”. Cameron is harangued at a Best Buy. In the end, there is only Kirby. The elevator door close button only makes things worse. We invent Reverse Amazon Now. We make a compelling case for training your child in the use of grappling hooks.
If you're not saying "Niblings", you should be. The curse box's thesaurus failed. Brock's children go straight for his pillowcases. Brock's father had a time dilation device. Eventually the exposed midriff won't even be animated, and THEN what're you going to do.
We discuss botany, and robotany. Cameron thinks you’re 35 for 10 years. The world’s progress ratios are all out of whack. We mention two different medical conditions that you should probably not Google, and how to lie to your children about one of them. Cameron can’t knit, but Brock can cross-stitch majestically. We detail the future’s greatest game: Ultimate Rasketball.
Cameron and Brock debate the order and intensity of exposing children to various existential crises. Cameron judges Travel Persons. There was a ceiling on the hole. We've already passed the emotional robot uncanny valley. Brock uses the word "proprioception" like he's going to get some sort of medal or something.