Frientimacy: Finding Our Way to More Fulfilling Friendships

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Ever feel like friendships are too complicated, superficial, or disappointing? And yet you don’t want to swear them off completely because you also crave the feeling of having close, comfortable, and meaningful relationships? You’re not alone! In the first season of Frientimacy, social relationships expert Shasta Nelson goes behind the scenes of her own real-life friendships to unpack the challenges they’ve faced and how they overcame them to forge an even stronger bond. Because let’s face it—even the healthiest relationships encounter conflict! By shedding light on two sides of the story, Frientimacy can inspire and teach us how to navigate similar issues in our own friendships. Shasta is the author of 3 books on adult friendships and social relationships, a popular resource for media such as the New York Times and the Today Show, and an in-demand keynote speaker. Now she’s getting vulnerable to reveal how even a social relationships expert can experience adversity in her friendships . . . and emerge with more meaningful connections. It may not always be easy navigating jealousy, busyness, hurt feelings, or different life stages, but sometimes it’s worth it, so listen in if you’re ready for more fulfilling friendships! To connect with Shasta on her other platforms, follow her on Instagram at @shastamnelson, or subscribe to her YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/c/shastanelson.

Shasta Nelson


    • Oct 22, 2024 LATEST EPISODE
    • weekly NEW EPISODES
    • 54m AVG DURATION
    • 25 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Frientimacy: Finding Our Way to More Fulfilling Friendships

    Choosing Silence: Is It the Best Strategy for Political Tensions?” (J'Leen & Valerie)

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 22, 2024 71:28


    Today, Shasta is joined by her two close friends, J'Leen and Valerie, to discuss an interesting situation that occurred within their friend group: they each had assumed that they all shared the same political views as one another, only to recently discover that this was far from the truth! What do they do next? Is it better to avoid political discussions altogether to keep their friendship intact? Join Shasta, J'Leen, and Valerie as they explore the complexities of political conversations among friends. They reflect on their personal journeys, challenge assumptions, and emphasize the importance of open dialogue, especially in today's divided world. Don't miss this candid discussion in the season finale of Frientimacy!Connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!Join Shasta's mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list.Shasta's books on belongingness and human connection:Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriendsFrientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and HappinessThe Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our TimeConnect with Shasta on her other platforms:Shasta on InstagramShasta on YouTubeShasta on FacebookTell us what you think about this episode.

    New Friends, Different Votes: Is This Friendship Worth It?” (Lisa)

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 15, 2024 58:36


    Shasta and Lisa are new friends who have recently discovered they have differing political views from one another. And although they are voting differently from each other this election season, Shasta and Lisa have actually chosen to embrace their contrasting beliefs, and use them as an opportunity for growth and deeper connection with one another. Throughout the episode, the friends discuss how they have sometimes feared being judged for their opinions, and how these fears often hinder them from speaking their minds in conversations. They talk about the importance of approaching sensitive topics with genuine curiosity, rather than a political agenda. And most importantly, they explore how healthy it can be to surround yourself with people who might have different viewpoints than you.Tune into this third episode of Shasta's political mini-series to hear an inspiring conversation about how new friendships can grow stronger by navigating difficult conversations with compassion and respect.Connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!Join Shasta's mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list.Shasta's books on belongingness and human connection:Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriendsFrientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and HappinessThe Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our TimeConnect with Shasta on her other platforms:Shasta on InstagramShasta on YouTubeShasta on FacebookTell us what you think about this episode.

    Repairing the Political Rift: Can We Fix Our Relationship?” (My mom)

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 8, 2024 74:50


    After much convincing, Shasta has finally gotten her mom to agree to a long-overdue conversation about how their differing political views have affected their relationship. Over the years, their discussions, though never intended to be political, often spiraled into heated debates, creating an emotional rift between them.In this second episode of Shasta's political mini-series, the two tackle the unspoken tensions that have grown beneath the surface. Together, they explore the impact of their political differences on their conversations and seek to find common ground in a world that often feels divided.Tune in for an honest and vulnerable episode, as Shasta and her mom share their experiences, confront their challenges, and work towards deeper understanding. Will this conversation help bridge the gap between them? Listen in to find out!Connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!Join Shasta's mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list.Shasta's books on belongingness and human connection:Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriendsFrientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and HappinessThe Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our TimeConnect with Shasta on her other platforms:Shasta on InstagramShasta on YouTubeShasta on FacebookTell us what you think about this episode.

    When Politics Divide: Why Is It So Hard to Stay Connected? (Marcia & Kim)

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 1, 2024 56:06


    Have you had a relationship in your life damaged by opposing political views? Or maybe you were taken by surprise when you found out a close friend of yours will be voting differently than you in this upcoming election? This month, Shasta will be diving deep into tough conversations about building and maintaining relationships in today's intense political climate. She kicks off the start of this political mini-series by inviting Marcia and Kim to discuss how relationships in their lives have been strained due to differing political views. They talk about how it can be difficult to be empathetic to the other side while also fighting the urge to “rescue” them back to their own side of the spectrum. Tune in to hear them share the challenges of setting boundaries, the hurt of feeling unseen, and their hopes for compromise with their friends and loved ones.Connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!Join Shasta's mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list.Shasta's books on belongingness and human connection:Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriendsFrientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and HappinessThe Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our TimeConnect with Shasta on her other platforms:Shasta on InstagramShasta on YouTubeShasta on FacebookTell us what you think about this episode.

    What I Learned from Friends

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 24, 2024 51:52


    In the final episode of the first season of Frientimacy, Shasta reflects on all of the outcomes and insights gained from the honest, heartfelt conversations she has gotten to have with friends and guests over the past few months. From reconnecting with long-lost friends from many years ago, to opening up in tough-to-have conversations, these discussions have strengthened bonds, healed past wounds, and allowed for friends to be brought closer together. This final episode is a celebration of the season's journey and an invitation to continue exploring and nurturing deep, meaningful connections with the people in your life!Connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!Join Shasta's mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list.Shasta's books on belongingness and human connection:Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriendsFrientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and HappinessThe Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our TimeConnect with Shasta on her other platforms:Shasta on InstagramShasta on YouTubeShasta on FacebookTell us what you think about this episode.

    The Friendship I Almost Outgrew (J'Leen)

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 17, 2024 58:43


    Have you ever felt like you've outgrown a friendship? Maybe you felt like you and a friend drifted apart because you've changed in ways they haven't? Or maybe you've felt like someone you once knew has evolved into a completely different person. Today Shasta sits down with her friend J'Leen to talk about the journey of their friendship and how their shared religious background became a point of divergence for the two of them. They discuss how their spiritual journeys took them each in different directions and ended up impacting their relationship. Listen in as they reflect on their personal journeys, the challenges they faced, and what they learned about keeping friendships alive even when it feels like it might not work. It's a real and relatable discussion about how friendships can survive—and sometimes even thrive—amidst big changes!Connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!Join Shasta's mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list.Shasta's books on belongingness and human connection:Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriendsFrientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and HappinessThe Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our TimeConnect with Shasta on her other platforms:Shasta on InstagramShasta on YouTubeShasta on FacebookTell us what you think about this episode.

    The Friendship (& Marriage!) Between an Introvert and an Extrovert (Greg)

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 10, 2024 57:33


    In today's episode of Frientimacy, Shasta Nelson is joined by her husband, Dr. Greg Nelson, for an insightful conversation on blending friendship with marriage. As they reflect on nearly 20 years together, they delve into the question of whether a spouse should be your best friend and share strategies for balancing relationship dynamics when one partner is an introvert and the other is an extrovert.They cover:How Greg's long-time friendships fit into their marriage and why they matter.The differences between how men and women often view their spouse as a best friend.Personal stories and reflections on navigating vulnerability and keeping friendships alive while being a couple.Tune in for an engaging conversation full of practical tips and heartfelt insights that will help you enrich both your marriage and your friendships!Connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!Join Shasta's mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list.Shasta's books on belongingness and human connection:Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriendsFrientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and HappinessThe Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our TimeConnect with Shasta on her other platforms:Shasta on InstagramShasta on YouTubeShasta on FacebookTell us what you think about this episode.

    The New Friendship: Our Insecurities and Secret Hopes (Priscilla)

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 3, 2024 58:44


    In this week's episode of Frientimacy, Shasta and her friend Priscilla take a transparent look behind the scenes of their budding friendship. They dive into the early days of their relationship and discuss the challenges they faced, such as scheduling conflicts, uncertainties surrounding expectations, and building trust with one another. Shasta and Priscilla share their personal thoughts and feelings from when they first met and explore how they've grown together over the past year. Tune in for an honest and enlightening conversation about the highs and lows of forming a meaningful friendship with someone new!Connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!Join Shasta's mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list.Shasta's books on belongingness and human connection:Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriendsFrientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and HappinessThe Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our TimeConnect with Shasta on her other platforms:Shasta on InstagramShasta on YouTubeShasta on FacebookTell us what you think about this episode.

    I'm the Friend Who Avoids Conflict

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 27, 2024 59:21


    Conflict—nobody enjoys it, but how do we tackle tough conversations with those we care about? In this episode of Frientimacy, Shasta tackles this challenging topic with three insightful guests: Krista, Kerry, and Laura. Each woman shares her struggles with avoiding conflict in friendships—Krista due to a deep-seated need for harmony, Kerry because of her natural empathy, and Laura because of her introverted tendencies. Together, they explore how avoiding tough conversations affects relationships and share advice for balancing honesty with empathy to keep connections strong.Connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!Join Shasta's mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list.Shasta's books on belongingness and human connection:Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriendsFrientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and HappinessThe Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our TimeConnect with Shasta on her other platforms:Shasta on InstagramShasta on YouTubeShasta on FacebookTell us what you think about this episode.

    I'm the Friend Who Gave Us a Second Chance (Cori)

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 20, 2024 53:05


    In today's episode of Frientimacy, Shasta invites Cori to share her experiences of feeling profoundly let down by her best friend during a time of personal crisis—the death of a loved one. Despite her friend's past support and their close bond, Cori found herself in a situation where she felt abandoned and unsupported. Throughout the episode, Shasta and Cori explore how friendships can be complex and not always meeting the expectations we hold for them. Shasta offers guidance on how to recognize the value of the everyday support her friend had provided and how Cori can appreciate the strengths her friend brought to the relationship, despite her shortcomings during the crisis.Connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!Join Shasta's mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list.Check out Cori's website! LoveAcademyforWomen.comRegistration for the Fall 2024 CoachingCircles is now open!https://www.shastanelson.com/coachingcircles/fall2024Shasta's books on belongingness and human connection:Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriendsFrientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and HappinessThe Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our TimeConnect with Shasta on her other platforms:Shasta on InstagramShasta on YouTubeShasta on FacebookTell us what you think about this episode.

    The Friendship That Had to Evolve After a Lifestyle Change

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 13, 2024 52:06


    This heartfelt episode dives deep into the journey of personal growth and sobriety through the lens of Krista, who opens up about her decision to stop drinking. Krista recounts the challenges and growth that came with this process and how it impacted the relationships in her life. Krista and Shasta discuss the importance of mutual support in friendships, especially when someone makes a significant personal change. They explore how friends can navigate these changes together while maintaining understanding through periods of transformation. In this episode, Shasta and Krista answer the questions:In what ways can friends show support for someone who is undergoing a major personal change like sobriety? How can friends communicate their own needs and boundaries while being supportive of someone going through a transformation? What does it mean if someone's personal growth journey creates distance in a friendship? Is it about the individual's change or something else? Connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!Join Shasta's mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list.Registration for the Fall 2024 CoachingCircles is now open!https://www.shastanelson.com/coachingcircles/fall2024Shasta's books on belongingness and human connection:Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriendsFrientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and HappinessThe Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our TimeConnect with Shasta on her other platforms:Shasta on InstagramShasta on YouTubeShasta on FacebookTell us what you think about this episode.Tell us what you think about this episode.

    I'm the Friend Who Regrets Giving Up on Us

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 6, 2024 60:22


    Today's episode features Shasta and three women who share one common, difficult experience: each has deeply regretted losing touch with a close friend. Throughout the episode, they reflect on the impact of these lost relationships, and share the importance these friends once held in their day to day lives. Shasta offers valuable advice on how to reconnect with lost friends, providing guidance for anyone navigating similar feelings of loss towards a once-meaningful friendship.Ask Shasta your questions & connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!Join Shasta's mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list.Resource Links:Take the Frientimacy quizzes: Positivity Quiz, Consistency Quiz, Vulnerability QuizLearn more about the Frientimacy Triangle, and jealousy and envy in friendship, in Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and HappinessMore of Shasta's books on belongingness and human connection:Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriendsThe Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our TimeLearn more about Shasta's CoachingCirclesConnect with Shasta on her other platforms:Shasta on InstagramShasta on YouTubeTell us what you think about this episode.Tell us what you think about this episode.

    The Friendship That Faces Comparison and Envy (Christine)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 30, 2024 57:05


    When Shasta met Christine, a fellow author and speaker, she was everything Shasta wanted to be: she had just published a book, she'd been interviewed on TV, and she had a press kit. Shasta was green with envy. We've all been there—a friend has more money, goes on cooler vacations, is happily in love while we just went through a breakup. We wish we had their job, body, house, or relationship. It's inevitable to feel jealousy and envy sometimes, but how do we make sure our feelings don't jeopardize our friendships? Today, Shasta and Christine dish on all the icky emotions they've experienced and share how they've been able to get back to a place of peace. They also reflect on how they've been able to be candid about their envy while keeping the friendship feeling positive. Finally, Shasta teaches how to distinguish between the different types of jealousy and envy so that we can choose the wisest response.In this episode, Shasta and Christine answer the questions:What is the difference between jealousy and envy?How can you distinguish between unreliable and reliable jealousy?How do you cheer for a friend when you're feeling envious of them?How can envy lead us to personal growth and empowerment?When you're feeling envious, how can you shift your mindset to a more positive one?Should you tell your friend if you're feeling envious of them? How can communicating about envy or insecurities deepen your relationship?Ask Shasta your questions & connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!Join Shasta's mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list.Resource Links:Learn more about the Inner Mean Girl in Christine's book: Reform Your Inner Mean Girl: 7 Steps to Stop Bullying Yourself and Start Loving YourselfChristine's other books on self-love, personal leadership, well-being, and burnout: https://christinearylo.com/books/ Listen to Christine's podcastTake the Frientimacy quizzes: Positivity Quiz, Consistency Quiz, Vulnerability QuizLearn more about the Frientimacy Triangle, and jealousy and envy in friendship, in Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and HappinessMore of Shasta's books on belongingness and human connection:Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriendsThe Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our TimeLearn more about Shasta's CoachingCirclesConnect with Shasta on her other platforms:Shasta on InstagramShasta on YouTubeTell us what you think about this episode.

    The Friendship That Withstood Having “Nothing in Common Anymore" (Sher)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 23, 2024 52:45


    After years of friendship, Shasta and Sher found themselves in two completely different places: Sher was a stay-at-home mom, whereas Shasta didn't have kids and was more focused on her career. Sher was married to a pastor, while Shasta was questioning church. Sher was more conservative-leaning, and Shasta was more liberal. The question arose: “If we met today, would we have become friends?” It's a familiar experience—someone's no longer single, or has kids, or switches jobs, or you're just in different life stages. And you wonder, was that the only thing holding your friendship together? In today's episode, Shasta and Sher discuss how they saved their friendship when they realized they had nothing in common anymore, why it was worth it, and the unlikely key to their survival.In this episode, Shasta and Sher answer the questions:How can you revitalize a friendship that's lost its shared interests or commonalities?How can having “nothing in common” actually benefit your friendship?Is it worth staying friends with someone you have nothing in common with anymore? Why?Connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!Join Shasta's mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list.Resource Links:David Brooks' book on feeling seen & seeing others: How to Know a PersonTake the Frientimacy quizzes: Positivity Quiz, Consistency Quiz, Vulnerability QuizLearn more about the Frientimacy Triangle in Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and HappinessMore of Shasta's books on belongingness and human connection:Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriendsThe Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our TimeLearn more about Shasta's CoachingCirclesConnect with Shasta on her other platforms:Shasta on InstagramShasta on YouTubeShasta on FacebookTell us what you think about this episode.

    I'm the Friend Who Ghosted

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 16, 2024 60:08


    A few weeks ago, Shasta interviewed three women who had been ghosted. Today, she's shifting the focus to hear from the ghosters. Why did they ghost their friends, rather than taking a different approach? Do they regret it? And was there anything that could have changed their minds? In this panel, three women reveal the commonalities between friends who ghost and the factors that can lead to a silent breakup. Finally, Shasta advises on how to protect and save your relationships before they reach their breaking points. Connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!Join Shasta's mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list. Shasta's books on belongingness and human connection:Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriendsFrientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and HappinessThe Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our TimeConnect with Shasta on her other platforms:Shasta on InstagramShasta on YouTubeShasta on FacebookTell us what you think about this episode.

    The Friendship that Navigated a Falling-Out with a Mutual Friend

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 9, 2024 54:24


    After going through a friendship breakup, Shasta faced a dilemma: how would she navigate this with their mutual friends, and how much was she going to pull them into the drama? In this episode, she sits down with her friend Kat, who still maintains her own relationship with Shasta's ex-friend. They shed insight on how they've been able to discuss the friendship breakup without being catty or ruining Kat's own friendship. Shasta opens up about seeing an ex-friend move on, and shares how to deal with jealousy or pain when your mutual friends spend time with them. Finally, they reflect on how to choose the best response and minimize the fallout after a friendship breakup, and if there's ever a case when you should expect your mutual friends to choose sides.In this episode, Shasta and Kat answer the questions:How do you navigate talking about the falling-out, whether you're the one going through the friendship breakup or you're the mutual friend?How does it feel to be the person navigating a friendship breakup when other people are involved? How does it feel to be the mutual friend of two people who've ended their friendship?Is it possible and okay for your mutual friends to maintain their relationships with your ex-friend? Is there ever a reason your mutual friends should not remain friends with someone you've had a falling-out with?If your mutuals stay friends with your ex-friend, how do you deal with the pain or jealousy?Connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!Join Shasta's mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list. Resource Links:Watch the “Surviving a Friendship Breakup” seriesJ. S. Park's book on grief: As Long As You Need: Permission to GrieveShasta's books on belongingness and human connection:Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriendsFrientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and HappinessThe Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our TimeConnect with Shasta on her other platforms:Shasta on InstagramShasta on YouTubeShasta on FacebookTell us what you think about this episode.

    The Friendship Where I Couldn't Live Up to Her Expectations (Daneen)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 2, 2024 48:54


    Have you ever felt like you were always disappointing a friend or that you couldn't satisfy them? Or maybe you're on the other side, feeling like your friends aren't putting in the same level of effort as you? This was the problem Shasta and Daneen encountered. At the beginning of their friendship, Daneen initiated time with Shasta frequently, and Shasta started to feel like she couldn't give enough back. Then, after Daneen had a baby and asked her to be the godmother, Shasta felt guilty for not being able to live up to Daneen's expectations of that role. Today, Shasta and Daneen delve into the conversation that set boundaries graciously and allowed Shasta the opportunity to not only meet Daneen's expectations, but surpass them. They also talk the perks of having non-mom friends after you have kids and how to know if a friendship is worth saving. In this episode, Shasta and Daneen answer the questions:How do you kindly set boundaries when you can't meet a friend's expectations?How does it feel to be the friend who needs more? How does it feel to be the friend who can't give more?How do you know if a friendship is worth saving?How do you maintain friendships after having children, or when your friends have children?What are the benefits of having non-mom friends after having kids?Connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!Join Shasta's mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list. Resource Links:Wall Street Journal: It Takes at Least 200 Hours to Make a Close Friendship, and More to Maintain ItTake the Frientimacy quizzes: Positivity Quiz, Consistency Quiz, Vulnerability QuizLearn more about the Frientimacy Triangle in Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and HappinessMore of Shasta's books on belongingness and human connection:Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriendsThe Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our TimeConnect with Shasta on her other platforms:Shasta on InstagramShasta on YouTubeShasta on FacebookShasta on LinkedInTell us what you think about this episode.

    The Friendship That Struggles with Busyness and Neglect (Karen)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 25, 2024 56:00


    In today's episode, Shasta and her friend Karen confront a struggle they're still having—it seems like Karen is always busy, even when they're together. Karen considers why she always has a full plate, and reveals the key to getting her attention and what she wishes her friends knew. Shasta gets vulnerable about feeling like an obligation and affirms the very common pain of thinking we care more than someone else does. Then, Karen reveals what strategies work well for her to maintain relationships, and finally, Shasta realizes what is really triggering her about Karen's busyness and how they can strengthen their relationship.In this episode, Shasta and Karen answer the questions:What does it mean if your friend is always too busy? Do they not care as much as you, or is there another reason?How can you ensure your friends feel valued when you're always busy?How can you support your chronically busy friend, and still feel seen in the relationship?Connect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!Join Shasta's mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list. Shasta's books on belongingness and human connection:Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriendsFrientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and HappinessThe Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our TimeConnect with Shasta on her other platforms:Shasta on InstagramShasta on YouTubeShasta on FacebookShasta on LinkedInTell us what you think about this episode.

    I'm the Friend Who Was Ghosted

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 18, 2024 63:31


    So you got dumped by a friend—no warning, no explanation, not even a text back. What happened? Nearly 80% of us have been ghosted at some point, and while it's more commonplace in the dating world, it can happen with friends too. In this episode, Shasta interviews three women who were ghosted by close friends. They open up about what they wish their friends had done instead, and how ghosting impacted them and their other relationships (for better or for worse). They also offer insight and advice on getting closure and fighting for the friendship.Resource Links:Watch the “Surviving a Friendship Breakup” seriesTake the Frientimacy quizzes: Positivity Quiz, Consistency Quiz, Vulnerability QuizLearn more about the Frientimacy Triangle in Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and HappinessMore of Shasta's books on belongingness and human connection:Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriendsThe Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our TimeConnect with other listeners on our Mighty Networks community!Join Shasta's mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list. Connect with Shasta on her other platforms:Shasta on InstagramShasta on YouTubeShasta on FacebookShasta on LinkedInTell us what you think about this episode.

    The Friendship Wearied by Low Self-Esteem and Fear of Rejection (J'Leen)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 11, 2024 56:17


    After a girls' weekend, Shasta returned home feeling drained – her friend J'Leen seemed to often take things personally and question how accepted she was in the group. Again, they'd spent much of their time together reassuring her to no avail. Today, Shasta and J'Leen explore how J'Leen's fears of rejection and abandonment developed, how her attempts to shield herself from potential rejection led to actual rejection, and what triggered her fears. They also consider how it feels to be on the other side, trying to love someone who cannot see or feel it. Finally, they reveal how J'Leen learned to become her own best friend, and how her journey of personal growth and self-awareness transformed her life and relationships.In this episode, Shasta and J'Leen answer the questions:How can a fear of rejection and/or fear of abandonment develop?How does it feel to be a friend to someone with a fear of rejection / fear of abandonment?How can self-love transform our relationships?What can trigger a fear of rejection and/or fear of abandonment?What can you do to support a friend struggling from fear of rejection / fear of abandonment?Why does a fear of rejection sometimes lead to actual rejection? Resource Links:Christine Arylo's book on self-love: Madly in Love With MeTake the Frientimacy quizzes: Positivity Quiz, Consistency Quiz, Vulnerability QuizLearn more about the Frientimacy Triangle in Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and HappinessMore of Shasta's books on belongingness and human connection:Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriendsThe Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our TimeJoin Shasta's mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list. Connect with Shasta on her other platforms:Shasta on InstagramShasta on YouTubeShasta on FacebookShasta on LinkedInTell us what you think about this episode.

    What We Can Do When Our Friendships Don't Feel Healthy

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 4, 2024 38:52


    In today's episode, Shasta reflects on what we can learn from our physical health to develop better social health, and how we can heal from heartbreak and disappointment to create more meaningful friendships. Conflict in a relationship can be uncomfortable, awkward, and—at times—painful. But it's when we persist through the discomfort that we start building stronger, deeper, and more meaningful relationships.In this episode, Shasta answers the questions:What can physical health teach us about developing healthier relationships?How do we change a friendship or relationship that's no longer working? How can we heal from heartbreak or disappointment to create more meaningful friendships?Join Shasta's mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list. Shasta's books on belongingness and human connection:Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriendsFrientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and HappinessThe Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our TimeConnect with Shasta on her other platforms:Shasta on InstagramShasta on YouTubeShasta on FacebookShasta on LinkedInTell us what you think about this episode.

    The Friendship That Weathered My Personal Life Crisis (Kim)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 4, 2024 60:16


    Shasta and Kim were colleagues and couple friends . . . then Shasta called her crying out of the blue. She'd had an affair, a divorce, and had been fired from her job. But while other friends and colleagues pulled away, judged, and disappeared, Kim and Shasta only grew closer. In today's episode, the two unpack how Shasta's personal crisis affected her friend and how their friendship survived when many of Shasta's relationships did not. Kim divulges the confusion she felt at Shasta not telling her sooner, and how others questioned her decision to stay friends with someone who'd had an affair. They talk about shifting from couple friends to developing a one-on-one friendship after Shasta's divorce. They also reveal how the experience helped them build their friendship now—one in which they can tell each other everything and endure any and every season of life together.In this episode, Shasta and Kim answer the questions:What did it feel like watching a friend go through a crisis? What happens when your “couple friends” divorce? Can you stay friends, and how will the friendship change?How do you support friends who are going through hard times? How do you support friends who've made bad decisions? How can you create a “safe space” within a friendship, in which you can share anything without judgment?How can you keep your friendships intact and thriving when you're personally struggling?Resource Links:Take the Frientimacy quizzes: Positivity Quiz, Consistency Quiz, Vulnerability QuizShasta's books on belongingness and human connection:Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriendsFrientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and HappinessThe Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our TimeJoin Shasta's mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list. Connect with Shasta on her other platforms:Shasta on InstagramShasta on YouTubeShasta on FacebookShasta on LinkedInTell us what you think about this episode.

    The Friendship That Survived Hurt Feelings (Valerie)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 4, 2024 39:03


    Shasta sits down with her friend Valerie to discuss the time a hurtful conversation drove a wedge between them. They spill their regrets and what they wish they could tell their past selves. They reveal how they not only rekindled their friendship but grew to become best friends today. Finally, they consider strategies to ask for what we need in a loving way, to avoid hurting our friends and receive what we really desire—to feel closer to and more valued by them. In this episode, Shasta and Valerie answer the questions:What can prompt someone to break up with a friend?What did it feel like to be the person initiating a friendship breakup? What did it feel like to be the person being “broken up” with?How do you discuss friendship problems or relationship problems without hurting feelings?How do you fix a friendship that ended due to hurt feelings?Join Shasta's mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list. Shasta's books on belongingness and human connection:Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriendsFrientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and HappinessThe Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our TimeConnect with Shasta on her other platforms:Shasta on InstagramShasta on YouTubeShasta on FacebookShasta on LinkedInTell us what you think about this episode.

    The Healthy Friendship: The 3 Requirements of Frientimacy

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 4, 2024 48:15


    Friendships can get a little messy, but at the other end of the muck are often more supportive and meaningful relationships. Join Shasta for the debut episode of Frientimacy, as she reveals the 3 requirements for all healthy relationships that helped her and her own friends navigate conflict and disappointment to deepen their connections. Shasta also exposes the real reason we're lonely (and it's not because we need to meet more people!) and the shocking impact of relationships on our physical and mental health.In this episode, Shasta answers the questions:Why are over 60% of us lonely, and why do 75% of us feel dissatisfied with our friendships?What are the four developmental stages of friendships? How do we get to the final stage of true intimacy?What are the three requirements for all healthy relationships?How can we learn from our approach to romantic relationships to have healthier expectations for our friendships?How are our relationships affecting our physical and mental health?Resource Links:Take the Frientimacy quizzes: Positivity Quiz, Consistency Quiz, Vulnerability QuizScott Peck's 4 stages of community building: The Different Drum: Community Making and PeaceScientific American: Loneliness is Harmful to Our Nation's HealthUniversity of Virginia: ‘Shocking' New Research Finds Friendships Are Key to Good HealthCigna: Loneliness and Its Impact on the American WorkplaceNPR: What's the #1 thing to change to be happier? A top happiness researcher weighs in.The Gottman Institute: The Magic Relationship Ratio, According to ScienceShasta's books on belongingness and human connection:Friendships Don't Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of GirlFriendsFrientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and HappinessThe Business of Friendship: Making the Most of Our Relationships Where We Spend Most of Our TimeJoin Shasta's mailing list to be the first to know about upcoming episodes, friendship coaching, trips, and more: https://www.shastanelson.com/mailing-list. Connect with Shasta on her other platforms:Shasta on InstagramShasta on YouTubeShasta on FacebookTell us what you think about this episode.

    Frientimacy: Finding Our Way to More Fulfilling Friendships - A First Look

    Play Episode Play 60 sec Highlight Listen Later May 20, 2024 2:08


    Welcome to “Frientimacy: Finding Our Way to More Fulfilling Friendships” —the show that reminds us through shared stories and research-backed teaching that friendships, while they may not always be easy, that doesn't mean they aren't worth it.My name is Shasta Nelson and I've been researching, coaching, speaking, and writing books about our friendships for 15 years. With over 60% of us feeling lonely, and even more of us dissatisfied with our current friendships– the approach we're taking to our friendships clearly isn't working.Starting on June 4th, and every Tuesday through the summer, I'm going to release a new episode where we're going to journey through some of the biggest obstacles to our friendships– busy-ness, jealousy, neglect, hurt feelings, feeling like we don't have anything in common anymore. But I'm not just going to teach us how to navigate it, I'm going to invite one of my real-life friends to come talk about one of those issues we've had to deal with in our own friendship. Yes, we're going there. We're bringing up hard conversations and hurt feelings we've experienced– first so you know you're not alone in realizing that friendships are sometimes disappointing or exhausting, but second, so we can learn from each other as I'm going to be asking questions like “What did it feel like to be you in that situation? What was the hardest part of that? What do you wish I had done differently?” No one wants to hear that friendships can be hard work… and yet, much like how physical health is on the other side of physical exertion, so, too is our social health on the other side of some relationship sweat.If you're ready for deeper, closer, and more supportive relationships in your life, if you want relationships that feel intimate, safe, and fulfilling– Frientimacy is for you.You can listen on Spotify, Apple podcasts or wherever you prefer to find your podcasts. Tell us what you think about this episode.

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