Happy Messy Humans

Today we had TEM (our chief creator) join us to talk about his story of moving to the US and his journey as an artist. He is the kid living between the time and reinventing himself. 

David and Ayo discuss the nuances of peer groups and how  subtle intentional structures come the catalyst to long lasting bonds and relationships.

How to be a good DAO citizen? Songyi and Oko talked about DAO and how it has been shaping in the last 10 years. Songyi has been in blockchain since 2013 from building one of the first blockchain remittance startup in Africa. 

How can a community of right minded founders help each other. David and Oko shares about Ancient Urban Kids Community updates and some of the great collaborations happening between their members. 

Welcome to the very first episode of AUK podcast hosted by David and Oko. Talking about our community and the some of the plans we have for our upcoming NFT.Benefits of this communityConnect with likeminded founders and creatorsBuild or scale a projectJoin projects that have tremendous impact on the worldSupport other builders in their endeavoursRealise a personal creative productBe surrounded by rich creative energyDon't be alone in the move into the new world*

We tend to judge our whole selves by our worst moments. When you're low and you have people around you giving support, there is sometimes a passing thought in your mind, “Am I a burden? Am I too much? Do they really want to be here” And it's at these low points, assumptions like this spiral. We lose sight of the care the people around us are showing and we project our deepest fears onto their actions. This week, Oko and Lals talk about their own friendship and the evolution it's gone through over these last few weeks. There's some crying, some laughing, and some deep truths about how even to your closest friends there is difficulty in communicating and clarifying your feelings. The episode covers how they are working through these big emotions, and steps you can take too in having those tough conversations with your circle. And most importantly, you are enough even if you can't show up fully sometimes. You are enough. You are not a burden. You are human.

In this week's episode, we focus on the tiny BIG step of stopping and being brave to ask for the help you need."Self-care is one of the first things to go when times get tough, but if you want to lead and help others through times of struggle, you need to put on your own oxygen mask first." Dr. Emily Anhalt.  As Lals shared in the previous episode, her feelings this year have been a rollercoaster. Some days are up but most days are unclear and it's taking a toll on her. This week, Oko and her talk about their experience with being really down, how they identified being they were down, and Lals dives deeper into how she overcame her fear in asking for help. Oko and Lals also share in-depth about overcoming how sometimes people don't feel they deserve support in this area - whether that's because their problems aren't bad enough' or because of their relatively privileged situation.  Part of the value in going to therapy, prioritizing self-care is giving yourself permission to acknowledge that your problems are important and valid because they are yours! That's all on this week's episode! 

We're baccckkkkkk fam! And we're here to kick off an impactful year together, hand-in-hand, holding each other accountable on each of our crazy #goals! New Year's resolutions are always all the rage come a new year (duh!). But what's more important than large, fluffy new year resolutions is understanding what metrics matter, what tiny steps you can take to get there, and how you want to keep accountability for what you accomplish! This week, Oko and Lal share with you what you can expect out of Season #3 of #HappyMessyHumans, a breakdown of how they build goals, and most importantly, how tiny steps help them stay on track! Most importantly, they talk about how pandemic life and how the guilt, shame, exhaustion, and productivity cycles have affected them; and what they are doing to deal with that. To the #HappyMessyHuman family - a happy (late) new year. The crew is stoked to be back and with you in a brand new year, on a brand new journey!

When Oko and Lal's started this podcast in May of 2020, they did not think it would grow this quickly  to include such an incredible community & family of #happymessyhumans! This week, the duo look back on 2020 - the lockdown, the experiment, working together and working through stuff. They dive into lessons learnt, scary realisations and goals for the new year. There's also some teasers for what Happy Messy Humans is going to explore in 2021. To everyone that has listened, feedbacked, supported and joined our community, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts for letting us experiment together! We look forward to a grander, more honest and open adventure together in the new year! 

This week, Oko and Lal dive deep into their learning about vulnerability, courage, shame and belonging from everyone's favourite internet mom, the vulnerability-guru herself, New York Times bestselling author and University of Houston research professor Dr Brené Brown. Dr Brown has an incredible Netflix special - Brené Brown: The Call To Courage - where she discusses how to choose courage over comfort in a time and culture of fear and uncertainty. “The key to wholehearted living is vulnerability. You measure courage by how vulnerable you are.” And starts every day by putting her feet on the floor and saying, “Today I will choose courage over comfort. I can't make any promises for tomorrow, but today I will choose to be brave.” Join the conversation with Oko and Lals this week as they share their own vulnerabilities, what has helped them overcome shame and fear to speak their truth and how to be intentional about who you accept feedback from. This week is many lessons in being brave - the hardest but most important thing we all have to do. 

“If there ever was a time to fail, this is it” - Mohan Belani, co-founder of e27, talks to us about how 2020 has been the perfect time to try different things and why it's overall a super exciting period! As a founder with so many different responsibilities on his shoulders, Mohan dives into how 2020 has really been a year of growth, in self care, forgiving and loving yourself; learning what works and how to be okay with shortcomings, testing new things and optimising productivity. With life constantly zipping past us, Mohan reflects back on the importance of being kind to yourself, carrying meaningful intention in all that you do and appreciating the people around you. As we go into the final stretch of 2020, take a pause and listen to Mohan share his learnings from the year with you. We hope it helps hold space for the changes you are going through and we hope it helps you put some added perspective into what has been a roller-coaster of a year! 

It's a #happymessy birthday special - not because it's our anniversary but because it's our birthday!  Birthdays are tough this year - because it's both felt like the year has barely gone by and also, the year is almost at its end. We take a stab at making sense of what 2020 is, why it's crucial to have meaningful goals that matter in the long-term and to be kind to yourself if the things you wanted to accomplish in January didn't quite pan out! Also, if you've been dying to get to us a little more intimately, this is the can't-miss episode for you! BIRTHDAY BONUS!!! In spirit of our birthdays we're celebrating by giving away a curated care-kit to one lucky listener! The kit includes some of our favourite self care essentials + some awesome new (yet to be released) #IAmHappyMessy merch!!! More details in the episode and on our instagram page - bit.ly/hmhinsta 

We've never experienced this much uncertainty in such a short period of time...We're all discovering in real time that we simply can't cordon off our emotions when it's time for work” Liz Fosslien, Author, No Hard Feelings. It's so important for all of us to take a step back and remember, that as the world continues to spin, it's okay not to be productive during a pandemic! It's a pandemic! As we continue to stay at home in the midst of a worldwide pandemic, we are being inundated not only with a storm of anxiety-inducing news but also with an onslaught of suggestions for “making the most” of our (alleged) extra time. This week, Oko and Lalitha share their personal struggle and challenges in facing the normalisation of our unified global pandemic and work-from-home situation. As veteran remote workers, it took awhile for the exhaustion of the global lock-down to hit them - but as with everything in life, it finally caught up. Today, they share why it sucked, what has helped, and hopefully what can help you too! 

“This probably sounds like a first-world problem, but …”. This disclaimer probably sounds resoundingly familiar to you. It's often the excuse we use to caveat an internal problem, struggle or challenge we want to share with our peer groups but believe is too trivial to actually warrant time or space. On the flip-side, we use such disclaimers as pre-emptive statements to “check our privilege”. However, many people, including us, sometimes find it deeply shameful, embarrassing, angry or guilty for feeling some of the feelings that arise within us because, in comparison to the absolute scale of human suffering, it pales dramatically. This week, Oko and Lalitha dive into controversially(ish) defending the paradox of first world problems - and how perspective, peer groups, mindfulness and gratefulness help make first world problems a lot more valid and manageable. All the tips, resources and actions from this episode are available here

“Sleep is the single most effective thing we can do to reset our brain and body health each day.” Yet, 2/3 of people in developed nations fail to sleep at least 8 hours every night. Many people almost consider it a badge of honour to function on little sleep in the name of higher productivity or success. #HustleCulture is basically killing us all, slowly. Getting good (more) sleep is not just about resetting our body. Consistent, good sleep improves your memory, creativity, ability to retain new skills, immune system, mental health and productivity - just to name a few. As Matthew Walker puts it, “Mother Nature wouldn't waste time putting you into a state that wasn't necessary” and yet human beings (continue to be) the only species that deliberately deprive themselves of sleep for no apparent gain. Many people walk through their lives in an underslept state, not realizing it. Sleep is the greatest legal performance-enhancing drug that most people are probably neglecting and should be using more. If you want to literally improve every single aspect of your life and wake up feeling refreshed and rested each and every night this episode is for you.This week, Oko and Lalitha refer to the works of neuroscientist Matthew Walker, author of the book, Why We Sleep as they dive deep into the importance of sleep and the horrendous state they were in (their health was in) when they were aloof about their own levels of good sleep. All the tips, resources and actions from this episode are available here

Over the last few months, Oko and Lalitha have spoken about a lot of different challenges, opportunities and actions that we all go through as founders and from a lack of prioritising self-care. Today, we refocus our that narrative to focus on how being happy, messy is more than just founder focused. Welcome to the all-new Happy, Messy Humans!! As one of our favourite founder & psychoanalytic psychologist, Dr Emily Anhalt said, “Self-care is one of the first things to go when times get tough (regardless of whether you're a founder or not), but if you want to lead and help others through times of struggle, you need to put on your own oxygen mask first! Just because founders (you) aren't having daily panic attacks does not mean that they are emotionally fit.” Self-care and emotional fitness are so much more than that. It's an ongoing, proactive practice that positively impacts your every day, helps you improve all the other facets of your daily life (relationships, leadership skills, mental and emotional health). We have to start looking at self-care and emotional fitness less like going to the doctor and more like going to the gym! All the tips, resources and actions from this episode are available here 

Since the beginning, Happy Messy Founders has always advocated the importance of individual growth - learning, listening and understanding how to build the best version of you possible! Outgrowing relationships is part of that growth. When you outgrow (any kind of) a relationship, it doesn't mean that the relationship was toxic. It means that you're growing as an individual. Sometimes you grow and people grow with you. And other times you grow, and people don't grow with you. The people we surround ourselves with are the biggest influence on our behaviour, attitudes and results. Who you are around — what they've got you thinking, saying, doing and becoming — sets the course of your life. As the motivational speaker, Jim Rohn says, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”Outgrowing relationships is an incredibly harsh reality to face, but when done with honesty and openness, it can lead to some magnificent path of growth and evolution for those relationships. This week, Oko and Lalitha spend some time this week sharing their own struggles, experiences and lessons in outgrowing relationships with help from the incredible thread We're Not Really Strangers (@werenotreallystrangers) shared earlier this year. All the tips, resources and actions from this episode are available here 

According to Paul Graham, founder of Y Combinator, “Fights between (co)founders are surprisingly common. About 20% of the startups we've funded have had a founder leave.” The quality of the relationship among co-founders is one of the most important elements of successful startups. As Oko and Lalitha talked about last week, human relationships need maintenance. Humans can't read minds (yet) - so learning the right way to communicate with each of them, is so crucial.   Oko and Lalitha are back this week, across this multi-episode relationship arc, and are diving deep into their own co-founder relationship with each other! They talk about their rocky start, how to make having difficult conversations (easier) and understanding the importance of ""dating"" your co-founder!   All the tips, resources and actions you can take to nurture the beautiful relationships you have in your life will be available here 

Scott Crabtree, the founder of Happy Brain Science said, "According to the body of research on happiness, when you focus time and attention on your relationships, they improve, and that improves your happiness. You also improve your coping ability because you have more support. Bottom line: Warm relationships can fuel happiness more than any other single factor we have found,” he says.So when we prioritize people - the relationships we nurture, the partnerships we cultivate, the people we keep close - in work, play and everything in between, it weighs deeply on our overall happiness. The number one factor in our happiness is the quality of our relationships.Everyone's love and relationships look different but how we love with ourselves and the way we communicate with these relationships make all the differences. Across this multi-episode arc, Oko and Lalitha are going to dive really deep into everything they can on relationships - in all it's shapes, forms and feelings. They are going to be as honest and authentic as they can in sharing their own experiences, relationships and feelings alongside valuable tips, resources and actions you can take to nurture the beautiful relationships you have in your life!

Who you are and what makes you special is so much bigger than the work you do. Every day, we practise development and growth for our work-selfs; building it out, identifying with its greatness and subconsciously, making it our identity. It's great to be passionate about your JOB, but it's important to know, you are so much more. Being a little less passionate about your work will help you manage stress, anxiety and the risk of burnout.When you look back on your life, what are the chances you'll wish you spent more late nights in the office? Or more time away from people you love? Or fewer hours getting comfortable rest in your delightful bed? Probably pretty low. And yet, too many of us not only work crazy hours but then come home to obsess about work during dinner, a workout, while lying in bed at night or even in our dreams.Season 2 of Happy Messy Founders kickstarts with us diving into the contradictory notion of why being less passionate at work is better for you. Using some great frameworks and language from the books Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life by Hector Garcia & Albert Liebermann and No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work by Liz Fosslien & Mollie West Duffy - Oko and Lalitha share valuable tips, resources and actions you can take to be the best version of you (in and outside of you work self)

You and almost everyone around you definitely share some version of this dirty little secret: deep down you feel like a complete frauds, despite the hard work you've done to get to where you are. This hot mess of harmfulness is called imposter syndrome - and you are not alone!   As @dremilyanhalt describes, "imposter syndrome is believing that you are not intelligent or capable despite evidence of high achievement. There is a feeling of phoniness and a fear of being found out or exposed as a fraud. Sound familiar?  This week, Oko and Lalitha get painfully honest this week as they open up about their own imposter syndromes, share the incredibly helpful tips tips Dr. Emily Anhalt articulated and how we can all move forward on this, together.   

It can be hard to admit loneliness; there is a tremendous amount of shame that comes with admitting it, even if it's just to yourself.  Being lonely has never been exclusive to romantic partnerships, and it's certainly not just a stereotype of a person sitting alone in a corner. It can actually manifest in different ways with different people. We can be at a party, surrounded by people, and still feel lonely. It's hard for startup founders to admit that they're struggling, the pressure of working long days and maintaining a positive attitude in the face of constant challenges can be isolating.This week, Oko and Lalitha get really honest about how loneliness has affected them, how deeply it has cut, and what they have been doing to cope with it. As fulfilling as your life may seem, loneliness can hit at anytime. Learning about how to deal with it could save you from a lifetime of pain. We're here to support you in that first step.

Being Vulnerable. Mental Well-being. Practising Resilience. Avoiding Burnout - all things we know to be important yet all things we (founders, especially) sometimes forget to prioritize till it's too late. Our culture continues to obsess over "being productive AND happy" as the ultimate win - even in times of a global crisis. We constantly talk about "going back to normal", and we forget that it's okay to be messy in between. Life includes a rollercoaster of emotions. It always will. Don't let guilt or shame sabotage your kindness to yourself, your need for time off or your strength in wanting to open up about your emotions. Let us help you take the first small step in making vulnerability part of your new-normal - at work, in life and all around you!

During this global pandemic period, many founders have gone into deeper spirals of loneliness and isolation than ever before. In Asia, we are see lots of creative new support systems that founders are building to get through these unprecedented times. This week, systems entrepreneur from Singapore, Stephanie Arrowsmith, joins Oko and Lals to dive deep into building these connections, relationships and developing your own Peer Review Board.

There is such a big difference between knowing what's good for you and doing what's good for you. But most of the time, we don't really see it. This week, Oko and Lals take a step back and share how they went from knowing to doing and how you can do it too! We promise it's hard but super worth it. It's the all-action, no-talk episode!!

Four episodes in and we've only just begun the journey down the messy pursuit of happiness in startup life. This week, Oko and Lals take a step back to dive deeper with their own personal experiences of burnout, recovery and the how-to take time-off! They cover all the good buzzwords this week!

Burnout is tough, it's real, and it can strike at any time. It does not matter how fulfilling your role may be, or how supportive the team is, or how much impactful your work is. Burnout happens to everyone, and it happens to everyone differently. This week, Oko and Lalitha have a deeply honest conversation about founder burnout with aerospace engineer & serial entrepreneur, Ben Richardson. 

This week, Oko and Lalitha get some clarity on what clarity is, with help from their magical half-Austrian & half-Cantonese, friend, Belinda Esterhammer! Belinda is the founder of Springboard Group, an integrated marketing agency she founded after leaving corporate-life behind. Today, Belinda wears many hats: fierce feminist, passionate people-cheerleader, podcaster, bookworm (@the_booknookclub), marketer, community builder & connector, to name a few. She is a woman of many talents, and we're certain she has many more hats in her suitcase.   On today's episode, we discuss the difficulty and importance of finding clarity, being selfish with me-time, going dark when you don't feel 100% and why Belinda is a rainbow! 

Today's episode is brought to you by the buzzword ego! Catch up with Lalitha and Oko and their very first guest, Amarit Charoenphan (Aim); the co-founder of Hubba, Thailand's first co-working space, and Techsauce Global. Aim been a founder for the better part of the last decade and has been on his share of the entrepreneurial roller-coaster. On today's episode, we discuss ego, vulnerability, the walls you build-up, and the journey that helps you bring them down. Also, find out definitively if Aim snores.

Oko D and Lalitha Wemel recorded this pilot in September 2019. This is a good 12 months after they came up with the idea, in the back of a cab, on their way to a meeting in Bangkok, Thailand. Join Oko and Lals, every week(ish), for honest, joyful and not-boring conversations with their friends, (and not-friends) about the messy pursuit of happiness in startup life. Here are some buzzwords that we'll be covering over the course of this ridiculous adventure: startups, founder, Asia, happiness, community, ecosystem, development, loneliness, diversity, inclusion, mental health, well-being and everything in between. Yes, this is another podcast during COVID. Yes, it's about startups (kinda). But this one's from us, so you will listen to it. We promise to try and make it as open and entertaining as possible!