SuccessfulMarriages.org co-founders, Dr. James & Marissa Q. Paine use their adventurous, thirty-year love affair to talk life, love and leadership.Marissa is is the Principal and CEO of Marissa Q. Paine International, a full-service coaching and consulting company specializing in facilitating meanin…
SURPRISE! In this bonus episode Marissa has Valentine's Day on the brain and doesn't quite understand what all the fuss is about (2:25). James is feeling grateful for his health after undergoing oral surgery earlier in the month that left him both weak and feeble (6:15) For the fight of the week our hosts debate on whether or not an apology is actually always necessary (9:22) During the big idea, the couple dives deeper into the 25 lessons they've learned over the course of their 25 year marriage (18:12)
This week, a recent celebration of life has Marissa reflecting on the true strength of love (4:45). James spends time pondering the quote “addictions are reactions to emotions we can’t handle”(12:03). The fight of the week is sparked by an impulsive gift James bought their daughter leaving Marissa feeling as if he had gone behind her back (15:50). For the big idea, James speaks about the importance of issue spotting in relationships to avoid big blowouts down the road (23:50). For homework, the hosts urge listeners to spend time with their partner being intentional about talking through all unresolved issues from the week prior (34:03). The hosts end the show offering marriage advice to newlywed listener, Michelle (35:25).
This week Marissa spoke a lot about what wasn’t on her mind (2:39) before eventually deciding that ultimately, she couldn’t stop thinking about Christmas (8:13). James has spent his week reflecting on yet another quote, and you must ask yourself, are you really surprised? (13:40) This week’s fight of the week was sparked by a simple 2 letter word but ended in laughter as surprise guest, Jewell, countered James’ argument with words from his own mouth just a few episodes earlier in the season (18:38). This week’s big idea focused on the importance of strengthening your self-esteem (29:50).
This week Marissa has a serious case of travel fatigue and finally knows what Dorothy meant when she said ‘there’s no place like home,’ (3:50). James gets sappy and opens up about how home is no place without Marissa (8:22). For the fight of the week, the hosts spend time talking about the new reality TV show, ‘Put a Ring on it’, and whether or not it serves as an effective relationship strategy (11:26). For the big idea, James teaches listeners how to have a successful relationship with two dominant type A personalities, (25:23). For homework, listeners are asked to spend time reflecting on battle lines drawn in their relationship, revisit them in the spirit of compromise in a way that allows the relationship, not just individuals, to win, (38:50).
This week Marissa has 2020 on her mind and she’s asking the question we all have been wondering: what even was this year? (2:45) James spends time reflecting on the quote “wisdom is seeing tomorrow’s consequences in today’s activities” (8:17). The hosts sit down with financial expert Cathey Williamson of the Williamson financial group to answer the most common questions surrounding marriage and money (11:41). For homework, James tasks listeners with spending time talking about beliefs and assumptions surrounding money and having that conversation with your partner (39:46).
This week Marissa is thinking about the double standard of leaders in the faith community (3:34). James expresses his concerns surrounding professional sports and the effectiveness of their COVID policies (12:40). Still in a honeymoon phase of sorts, the hosts didn’t have a fight to discuss this week. While it isn’t required to spend a lot of money on a vow renewal to rekindle the flame in your marriage, apparently, it doesn’t hurt (16:18). For the big idea, James speaks on the importance of living out the most authentic version of yourself (25:13). For homework, listeners should spend time getting crystal clear on their purpose (40:21).
This week Marissa has single-ness on her mind and wonders what it truly means to be single (2:25) while James is thinking about rebounding and how people on social media seem to quickly jump from one relationship to the next (9:22). In the fight of the week Marissa expresses her frustration surrounding the treatment of her car and they reach a resolution on behavior going forward (14:26). James dives deep into Intention Deficit Disorder in this week’s big idea and gives listeners 3 key steps to setting intentions for intimate partner relationships (19:54). For homework, listeners are asked to reflect on the purpose of their relationship and establish or reaffirm their plans (29:34). Finally, Marissa answers a listener’s question on how to best deal with her husbands sex addiction (29:53).
This week Marissa is thinking about gender roles and how they factor into the success of a relationship (13:22) while James has found another quote to spend time reflecting on (13:22). The fight of the week is so fresh it continues briefly as they spend time reflecting on angry chew pt. 2 (18:14). For the big idea, James touches on 5 things to watch out for when working to grow personal maturity (30:20). For homework, listeners are asked to examine their most recent relationship conflict and reflect on how a more mature personal response would have resulted in a better outcome (35:40). The show wraps with hosts answering a listener's question: are men and women created equal (36:26)?
This week Marissa struggles to get her life together (3:17). A recovering work-aholic, Marissa is still searching to find the perfect work/life balance as her new exercise bike that was supposed to help collects dust in the living room. James spends time reflecting on the Ralph Waldo Emerson quote, “envy is ignorance and imitation is suicide,” (11:02). The fight of the week focuses on racism in America and how it affects the Black experience (14:31). This week's big idea is the importance of majoring in your mate (26:31) and James assigns listeners to get reacquainted with their partners for homework and learn more about what makes them who they are (35:25).
This week Marissa schools James on poop protocol (3:13) while James is focused on transitioning to the one true indicator of old age: bifocals (8:19). The fight of the week deals with the couples’ differing definitions of proper restaurant etiquette (10:44). James goes deeper into 3 major benefits of conflict in relationships (21:30) and tasks listeners with confronting some of the elephants in your relationship (31:12). This week, the hosts get to offer advice to a listener struggling with navigating abuse in a very public relationship (31:35).
This week, Marissa has a recent question trending on social media on her mind (1:46). What seems to be an easy choice for both the Dr. and Mrs. leads into an even larger discussion surrounding the stigma with engagement rings altogether. James has his mind focused on the current state of academia and what the current switch to majority online school will mean for the job market in the coming years (13:02). During the Fight of the Week, they dive deep into cheating: defining what it is and giving insight on what to do about it (17:58). The big idea was so big last week that it’s spilling over: boundaries, part two. They take the time to explore the importance of personal boundaries within a marriage and the complex intersectionality boundaries have with faith (28:54).
This week Marissa has a bone to pick with major television shows and the way they portray first ladies (1:41). Honestly, she’s over the constant angry black woman stereotype and other microaggressions this role perpetuates. James is grappling with something a little heavier this week: to buy or not to buy… Jordan’s that is (11:20). He’s thinking about sneakers. On one hand there’s a level of nostalgia, who knows he might get back on the court one day, but then again, we’d hate a repeat of the watch debacle of last season. Decisions, decisions, ultimately they’ll need your vote so be sure to tune in this Thursday in the Facebook group-- live at 7PM CST. This week’s fight of the week involves another popular celebrity couple, Steph and Ayeesha Curry (16:53). More of a conversation than a fight, is it healthy to want attention from anyone beyond your spouse? Tackling this question leads into this week's big idea: boundaries. James gets clear on important boundaries crucial for developing and maintaining a successful marriage and Marissa uses personal experiences to highlight the importance of fulfilling all your needs first and not relying on your partner to feel whole. Most importantly, homework (39:26)! Spend time reevaluating your relationship boundaries to make sure they make a strong foundation.
This week Marissa is experiencing ‘bride brain’. Yes, apparently it’s a real thing and she is ready to get her brain back after the vow renewal (2:02). James, of course, has something philosophical on his mind and has spent the week reflecting on the quote “what you hold in your mind shows up in your life” (5:43). James and Marissa then sit down with Rachel Jackson, Pastor Rashon Jordan and First Lady Jordan to continue last week's discussion on blended families (8:57). All three of this week's guests are currently living in blended families and spend time sharing their personal experiences with blending families in dating and marriage.
This week Marissa is thinking about football (2:05). Previously an avid fan, Marissa hasn’t been tuning in for the past few seasons as a way to stand in solidarity with Colin Kaepernick and his protests. With the uncertainty surrounding COVID, she wonders if football is coming back at all, and even if it is, will she watch? James spends time recalling a recent dining experience that left him concerned that not all businesses are making the same effort to keep patrons safe through the pandemic (6:21). The fight of the week is prompted by a simple question: do you like your new doors (11:20)? Recently, the Paines underwent home renovations under the direction of a professional organizer and her team. James had reservations about the process initially that weren’t entirely relieved by the finished product. The big idea this week focuses on the danger of 2 common absolutes and James provides 2 major reasons to never use them in your relationships (18:13). For homework, James asks that you notice just how often you use these absolutes in your relationship and make a serious attempt to reframe the language (26:04). Finally, the Dr. and Mrs. get a chance to help a listener who needs advice on maintaining boundaries within blended families (27:12).
This week Marissa can’t stop thinking about dancing, something she needed y’all to know that James can’t do (3:33). James spends time reflecting on the stupid tax paid throughout his life, most recently a $3,000 watch he just had to have during last season (7:25). The Fight of the Week this week started out focused on the shoe carpet, something Marissa believes doesn’t even exist, and evolved into a question of her credibility altogether (9:37). The big idea this week is focusing on emotional intelligence and James gets specific about mental muscles your relationship will benefit from strengthening (14:38). For homework, go through each of the 5 muscles outlined by James and rank your current success in those areas, then come together with your partner and share (28:38). James and Marissa will be doing this assignment along with you this Thursday at 7PM CST live on the Successful Marriages Facebook page.
This week Marissa has home renovations on the brain (2:46) and James dives deep into feelings of uncertainty surrounding the upcoming school year for their rising college junior (7:10). The fight of the week is centered around differing opinions on the need for a professional organizer in their home (9:40). James dives deep into this week's big idea: the power of alignment, and stresses the importance of being aligned within yourself before you can be aligned within your relationship (18:20). Is love really the most important thing in relationships? This week’s homework involves spending time in self-reflection then coming together as a couple to talk more about what your individual expectations mean for the relationship (30:00). Finally, the Dr. and Mrs. got the chance to answer a question from a listener who has been married for 15 years with children and is worried that her partner doesn’t support her dreams (30:41). The dialogue continues on the https://www.facebook.com/successfulmarriages/ Facebook page where the Dr. and Mrs. will be going live EVERY THURSDAY at 7PM CST.
Welcome back to another season of the Life, Love, and Leadership podcast with Dr. James and Marissa Paine! Since it’s been so long, the Paine’s start this episode off by refreshing your memory, or introducing you to the typical rundown of a podcast episode (1:41). Marissa speaks candidly about adjusting to the family’s “COVID normal” (7:53), and new this season, we get to hear what’s going on in James’ head: finally, his time to shine! (12:23). The Fight of the Week comes from a recent Red Table Talk interview featuring Jada Pinkett and Will Smith (14:24), and James takes the time to dive into this week’s big idea: love in quarantine and how to thrive in a relationship when life gets messy (22:41). After speaking on the four key steps to maintaining a strong foundation in your relationship, the Dr. and Mrs. assign homework (31:54)! Don’t be fooled, this is not your grandma’s lesson plan; the Dr. and Mrs. have come up with work you can do at home to make your home, work. The dialogue continues on the Successful Marriages Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/successfulmarriages/ where the Dr. and Mrs. will be going live EVERY THURSDAY this season at 7PM CST.
This week, the Dr. & the Mrs. close out the 'Best of' series rewind for season one, and rehash some of the seasons most talked about shows. In this episode, you'll hear new perspectives from the 'she-shed' segment; learn about Marissa's plans for a 'she-ment'; and also hear significant new takeaways on the importance of avoiding criticism and negative labels in your relationship.
This week, the Dr. & the Mrs. continue the 'Best of' series rewind for season one, and rehash some of the seasons most talked about shows. In this episode, you'll hear new takeaways around the importance of having a 'maintenance plan' for your relationship, why 'goals are more important than roles', and also revisit some of the more hilarious moments and key insights from the Thanksgiving episode featuring The Painegang.
This week, the Dr. & the Mrs. continue the 'Best of' series rewind for season one, and rehash some of the seasons most talked about shows. In this episode, you'll hear new takeaways around how to avoid 'angry chew' in your relationship; and Dr. Paine makes a startling admission about 'Mansplaining'.
This week, the Dr. & the Mrs. begin the 'Best of' series rewind for season one, and rehash some of the seasons most talked about shows. In this episode, you'll get updates on the infamous watch, and hear new discoveries about why marriage is so hard.
This week, the Dr. & the Mrs. talk about 'How to Recover From the Loss of a Relationship'; offering tips, tools and strategies to get back on track. In the What's on Your Mind segment, Marissa talks soul-mates and shares her thoughts on the idea of being self-partnered. Finally, in the Fight of the Week, James & Marissa battle it out to determine if a recent outing should really be considered a date or just a routine night out.
This week, the Dr. & the Mrs. talk about how to 'Regain Your Rhythm' when life has infringed upon your relationship; offering tips, tools and strategies to get back on track. In the What's on Your Mind segment, Marissa talks about conflict among the Royals, and helps us to understand that conflict is normal, natural and to be expected. Finally, in the Fight of the Week, James & Marissa battle it out over their movie watching styles in a battle over light, texting, and nachos.
This week, the Dr. & the Mrs. talk Sex; sharing some helpful wisdom about the do's and dont's of maintaining a healthy sex life (30:23). In the What's on Your Mind segment, Marissa talks "cuffing season" (2:19): how to spot a potential predator and how to avoid falling for a "cuffer". In the Fight of the Week, James & Marissa battle it out over their travel differences and James makes a SHOCKING admission about apologies (14:50). Finally, the two answer a listeners question about what to do when a partner offers an apology to appease but doesn't have real remorse (41:55).
Life, Love & Leadership goes LIVE this week from the Relationship Reboot Conference at Living the Word Church in Collinsville, Illinois. The Dr. and the Mrs. pick up the Apology Styles discussion where it left off in Episode 13 and take questions and comments from their passionate live audience.
In this week's episode, Dr. Paine & Marissa pay a few rounds from Marissa's latest find, The Intimacy Deck and then come up with an idea of their own for the DIY version of the game. Dr Paine (kind of) admits wrong doing in the Fight of the Week and the episode ends with a heartfelt discussion about what it really takes to be Ready for Love.
Before jumping into the topic so juicy it took two episodes to explore, the Paines discuss furniture shopping and why Marissa recommends couples never do it together (minute 2:02).In the Fight of the Week, they debate curfew for the college kids (minute 10:10) and finally, the Paines begin a riveting discussion about how to say I'm sorry (minute 14:10).
Get to know the Paines as leaders in this episode as they discuss leadership at work, home and in their personal lives. Learn how they use the "Leadership Dance" to bring balance in their relationship and they consider to be the highest form of leadership (min 1:45).In the Fight of the Week segment (min 15:21), the Paine's announce a new opportunity for singles or couples to be guests on the show to coach through their "frequent fights" or love situations Live. Contact us at www.sucessfulmarriages.org for details and be our guest!The Teaching Topic of the Day is Working with your Spouse (min 17:27), need we say more?Finally, the Paines share words of wisdom to a listener who asks what to do when their partner's siblings won't contribute to their parents long term care expenses.
In this jam packed episode Dr. James & Marissa share advice on how to live through "open wounds" in relationships (minute 24:54) including a transparent discussion about how they avoided divorce after a year of separation in their own marriage.Plus enjoy lots of comedic relief as they discuss actress Meagan Good's bikini shoot in the What's on Your Mind segment (minute 1:44), hear what listeners had to say about James' mansplaining in the Fight of the Week (minute 14:31) and lean in as they answer the Question of the Day, "Is marriage really necessary when I'm already committed" (minute 37:43).
GOTCHA! After all the talk in previous episodes about how many things Marissa loses, Dr. Paine misplaces his cell phone and Marissa can't wait to give him grief about it! (2:52)In the Fight of the Week segment, the Paine's talk about an expensive, impulsive purchase James just "had to have" even though it was outside of their budget. Hear how they kept their difference of opinions on this purchase from ruining their anniversary vacation. (11:05) In the Topic of the Day, the Paine's share three critical tips for "Getting to Happy" in your relationship and beyond. Hold on to your hat, it might not be what you think. (19:50)Finally, the Paine's answer a question from a listener about whether or not married couples should share bank accounts.
In the What's on Your Mind Segment, the Paine's celebrate their new empty nest-ish life with no kids at home for awhile (minute 3:00), debate about how unfair it is for men to lose weight faster than women (minute 5:58), share how their friendship showed up to a stranger (minute 9:50) and chat about whether or not your spouse can be your best friend (minute 11:15).In the Fight of the Week: Vow Renewal vs Hardwood Floors (minute 13:46), the Paine's share how they get to compromise when they disagree on the priority of big ticket purchases (minute 18:37); plus hear the tender-ish story of how Dr. Paine proposed to Marissa the second time (23:00).All of this before jumping into the Teaching Topic of the Day: Getting Beyond Grudges (minute 27:49) and answering a Listener's Question, "How long should I wait for a ring?" (minute 40:00).
The "She Shed" is What's on Marissa's Mind this week as Dr. James & Marissa discuss the advantages of having a private getaway space to keep the peace in relationships (minute 1:30).The two then debate with a listener about whether or not a relationship can actually be heathy when there's a Fight of the Week (minute 6:33).The Paine's then share three keys to avoid growing apart in your relationship (minute 16:44) and have a heartfelt and transparent conversation about how long to wait when you and your partner are on different wavelengths and how they navigated times in their relationship when they were at risk for growing apart (minute 25:05).
In this week's episode, Marissa & Dr. Paine pay homage to parents of toddlers after babysitting their two-year-old niece and discuss how children can help or hinder your relationship (Minute 1:05).In the Fight-of-the-Week, they debate whether or not James is a "mansplainer" and invite listeners to weigh in with their views on the Foundation for Successful Marriages facebook page (Minute 11:40).The 3 Keys to Successful Compromise are reviewed in the Teaching Topic of the Week (Minute 19:55) and the couple answers a listener's question about how to regain their child's confidence after they witness a big fight between mom and dad (Minute 32:46).
In this week's Fight of the Week, the Paine's discover that they may be the couple that benefits the most from the Life, Love & Leadership podcast. Laugh with them as they sort through what went wrong with the "honey-do" list and then dive deep as they discuss why high self-esteem and emotional well-being matters so much in relationships. The Paine's also answer a listener's question about what to do when one partner is thriving and one is barely surviving.
After watching Michelle Obama's recent interview with Gayle King during Essence Fest 2019, The Paine's discuss the similarities they share with Barak and Michelle Obama. They also discuss how criticism harms relationships and share wisdom on how their definition of "keeping things spicy" in their marriage has evolved over time.
The Paine's define and discuss the harmful effects that a consumer's mentality can have on a marriage; plus hear the advice they have for a listener who wants advice on how to get back in the dating game after being divorced for ten years.
The Paines discuss their "Fight of the Week" and share their favorite tool for managing (or avoiding) conflict in their relationship; plus, they share wisdom with a listener who wants help with getting his wife to follow his lead. This ought to be good!