National Lampoon Presents The Final Edition Radio Hour

These are classic and eerily prescient sketches selected by archivist and writer Joe Davis. It's all there - the apocalypse, Republican cruelty, black people killed by police, Trump running for office, even social distancing, in a way. And somehow, no matter what happens, all the money goes to the same largest corporations. Funny, that.

In memory of John S. Marshall, one of the founding members of "The Final Edition."

This week … we’ve all been indoors. Same as you. Didn’t even record last week, and probably won’t until the end of the month. Recording this is the first time I’ve spoken out loud all day. So … you know … typical weekend, really.And yet we have new sketches at the top of the show, all about diseases - followed by classic sketches, also about diseases and germs. Communicable diseases in particular tend come up now and then - which is why good leadership involves … you know … recognizing and planning for that.

We whisper a sweet goodbye to Mike Bloomberg - and an actual, sincere goodbye (more or less) to James Lipton. Also, you just moved your clock forward - and yes, it’s stupid, and no, we shouldn’t be doing it anymore.The entire second half of the show is the final episode of the audio play, “The Invisible World.” I apologize for the differences in the sound quality from one moment to the next with that production. I didn’t record it in a studio. I was just lugging a laptop and a couple of microphones all over New York. You get what you get.

This week, Utah sees all the other states going their own way and decides it’s going to do the same. Ben and I talk about soup - which we both enjoy. We have an outtake from a recording session in which Ben is just trying to be nice. And we determine the value of human life. The answer is … well … you’re not gonna be surprised.

This week, I had the flu. … Well, I don’t think I had THE flu. I had A flu. … Maybe. Anyway, my voice was shredded. So we put that to good use. And Valentine’s Day is coming up. So we talked about … love? I guess? If that’s how you care to define it. Plus, one of our writers has really strong opinions about Harley Quinn. And two members of the case have lived in Philadelphia at some point, so we get obsessed with their hockey team mascot. You don’t have to know anything about hockey to get the jokes. But do yourself a favor and look up news articles about the Flyers’ mascot, Gritty. It’s hilarious if you don’t listen to the show.

We’re heading for the first political primaries, if you’ve got the stamina for it. We sit through class with a substitute teacher. Again - stamina. Some entire continent burned down. And. You know. Guns.

We are back with all new material - some of it about Christmas, some of it about the new year already having gone to shit, some of it about growing older, and a little of it, of course, about drugs.Ah drugs.Also, we’re starting a new five-part web serial called The Invisible World. This one is set in Connecticut. Don’t ask.

This week, we’re heading into Thanksgiving … and if you’re thankful for this show, you should probably thank the guy who started it. Which would be Tony Hendra. So. All the sketches this week were written by Tony - as far as I can tell. It’s a little tricky to be sure without actually telling him we were going to do this. But I’ve confirmed as much as I could with Jeff Kreisler - and I’ve listened for certain signs that I think characterize a Tony Hendra sketch. They’re always clever, they’re sometimes tragic, and they tend to reference literary and religious sources.

I know I said we’d be starting a new audio drama series this week. But we’ll wait, because we’ve got a lot of theme shows happening over the next few weeks.So this week, we’ve got sketches about patriotism. Because everybody right now is questioning everybody else’s. For some reason. Not sure why. Must be something on TV. I don’t keep up.

This week, I’ve been dealing with a loss of listeners because somehow our uploads to our distributor, Acast, have not been transferring properly to an Android app called Doggcatcher. And by “this week,” I mean close to a month. And by “loss of listeners,” I mean … like … a LOT of listeners.And by “dealing with,” I mean getting no solutions, as Acast, Doggcatcher and I sort through various error messages.So this week, we’ve got sketches about computers — because God, they’re driving me out of my fuckin’ mind.Also, the entire second part of the show is the concluding segment of “The Obscure County Election That Changed Nothing.” I’m just going to let that one play out, including the credits.

This week, Wells Fargo wants something from you, John Cena is giving something away, my home state is on fire and … it’s Veteran’s Day sometime around now. Also, the next-to-last episode of The Obscure County Election That Changed Nothing. It’s going to be kind of a sad one. But you knew this was coming if you’ve been paying attention, or if you were working in newspapers about thirteen years ago.

It’s Halloween, and we’ve got a collection of sketches about vampires and zombies and weirdos - although I guess, technically, all of our show are about weirdos. Plus, episode five of the Obscure County Election That Changed Nothing - which is not really about Halloween. But what do you care?

Some sketches about the stupid divisions in this country - with a note of hope. Maybe misguided hope. I don’t know. Plus episode 4 of the Obscure County Election That Changed Nothing - which is also political, but in a dumber, earlier, less scary, more small-town way than what we’re used to.

We’re moving toward the holidays: with Halloween, and gnomes, and Tucker Carlson, normal subway riders and lots of other mythical creatures. Plus, part three of “The Obscure County Election That Changed Nothing.” And at the end of the show, Ben sings again. I’m warning you now.

This week we have more sketches about the media - because, of course, this show is made by people in and on the fringes of media and largely, currently, unemployed by it. Resumes available online. We’ve also got episode 2 of The Obscure County Election That Changed Nothing - which also involves the media. It’s almost like I planned what I’m doing. Almost.

This week, we visit Area 51. And we continue getting motivated. Also, we’ve got the first episode of a seven-part series I did a few years back called “The Obscure County Election That Changed Nothing.” I worked for awhile at papers in New Jersey, and that title pretty much sums up my experience there. And finally, to cap off the show, Dominique has written an epic. About a car ride.

This week, no small number of sketches about food and TV. And it’s already football season - which seems weird somehow. Plus Corey Lewandowski testified before Congress. Remember that? Didn’t we all learn something?

This week, every sketch is new. A few more things about vacation. Plus, Samantha interviews a fan. Ben and I talk about baseball while it’s still the season. And apparently conservative Christians are telling me how to be a Jew. So … thanks?

We are back with new sketches as well as some classics - many of them about vacations, since we just got back from one. And work. Because you can’t have vacations without work. Though you can have work without vacations. Trust me on that one.

This week, all the sketches are related to history. The Middle Ages. The Revolutionary War. The Civil War. World War Two. 19th century Kansas. And the Supreme Court - from the Final Edition’s mini-series on the Supreme Court, which is still available on Howl, I think.

ARGH! SORRY! UPLOADED THE WRONG EPISODE LAST TIME!… Anyway, this is the right episode.All these sketches are about music - or ARE music. This includes two parodies of the radio show “Echoes” - that ambient music thing that’s always playing on Public Radio in the middle of the night. It’s been on the air since 1989, and most comedy shows don’t even do ONE parody of Echoes at all. We’ve got two.

It’s all sketches about animals. Cats and dogs and a sea elephant and bears and a rat and a rabbit. Please adopt this episode.

These are all sketches about the law. I don’t mean crime. We’ve got enough of THOSE sketches for a separate show. I mean the law itself and its various agents. The police, of course. Lawyers, of course. Prisons, of course. Executions, of course. Acne. High school. Blooper shows. All of it. For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy

This week, all the sketches were improvised. Not a thing was written in advance except, sometimes the intro, the outro or the general premise - and sometimes not even that. We’d improvise for some amount of time, then I’d go through and try to edit out as much as possible. And that’s the product. For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy

We bury you in sketches about corporations - mostly about getting jobs at one, trying to hold onto that job, and being entirely dependent upon these companies as a customer. ... I mean, loosely interpreted, virtually any sketch about anything these days is ultimately about corporations - but I limited it to that extent. For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy

Sketches from the last few years about all facets of media - online, radio, TV, newspapers … basically, my resume. The same lack of focus, the same apparent frenzy to adapt. So come enjoy the ridiculous mess that is America’s primary source of public information.

Sketches that are still good, I think, but are so obviously dated that we can’t disguise it. They come from as far back as the show’s first year in 2012. Scott Walker’s recall election. The 2014 presidential election. Some asinine thing Justin Bieber said, like, six years ago. And a whole bunch of other crap you’ve completely forgotten about. And we’ve got plenty more. This will not be the last one of these shows we do.

We continue watching the very nature of news coverage deteriorate - as well as the nature of writing jokes about it. Also, some sketches from a few years ago - one or two of them may be obvious - that go to prove that everything has always been pretty much this ridiculous.Well … not this ridiculous.

We’ve got summer activities, including a sketch about Disney. And not one but two sketches about the show Law and Order. We also want to remind you that malls are dying, catch-phrases are being retired, song lyrics have subtlety whatsoever anymore and Abbott and Costello are still relevant.

This week, we’re heading into summer - with theater, heavy drinking, music festivals and the unintended consequences of a happy ending. Also, at a certain point in a recent recording session, we ran out of things to do and started reading out of our notebooks. Seriously.

All new sketches. And just to prove we’re fresh and up-to-date, we talk about Uber and Game of Thrones and abortion and Billy Joel and Montessori schools and ancient China.

We’re back with 12 more sketches by 12 more writers. Some of these sketches go back a few years because some of the writers do. You’ll know which ones when you hear them.

We’re looking back on sketches from our 300 episodes and pulling out no more than one sketch per writer.

This week, we have a lot of mythical things - a yeti, a genie, dungeons, dragons, an employed college English teacher. Simon, from “Simon says” - who’s a real person, by the way.

This week, we’ve got measles. Well, not us personally, but a lot of people. We also get heavily into the kind of things you encounter when you don’t have a lot of money. Cheap businesses. Cheap food. Weird financial arrangements. Big expensive movies that still seem like cheap movies. And the cheapest kind of entertainment of all, ASMR - which doesn’t require much more than, let’s say, wrapping paper. Or a Bob Ross video.Plus … we have condiments.

This week, it’s pop culture and pop music and weird brain stuff. And speaking of all those things, it happened to be 4/20 this last weekend. So we talk to a member of our own cast who happens to work with — and report on — cannabis. You’ll never guess which cast member it is.You’ve already guessed.It’s Sam.

On this week’s show, we have … a show. Which we didn’t last week. Because my computer was broken. So we have two man-on-the streets because, over the last two weeks, apparently two things happened.We’ve got sketches about money and the next Woodstock concert … but I repeat myself. And outer space. And baseball. And of course, when you think about baseball, you think about sex - to make the baseball last longer. Anyway, sex is in the news. I assume. I mean, it always is, so …

The phrase “Florida Man” has trended more heavily than usual. So we hear from the man himself, then we talk to a Florida woman. Also, we watch the news debase itself. Even further. We try to decide whether things are good or terrible. Don’t get ahead of me. And we discuss whether academia is good or terrible. Again - wait for it. Also - lot of short bits throughout the show. No plan behind it. Just worked out that way.

We have - basically - two long sketches. While we’ve been trying to make our sketches shorter recently, we do have these two from before that are massive. So we’re going to start with a sketch that’s eight minutes long, and it’s kind of a Western. Eventually. Then we’ll have a promo or two and this week’s man-on-the-street - which is kind of an Eastern. Then we’ll have a sketch that’s nine minutes and twenty seconds, and it’s REALLY a Western.And that is the show.

We make fun of the people who paid bribes to get their kids into college. Then we make fun of the people who make fun of the people who paid bribes. Also, Facebook crashed for a day or so. Then Samantha tells us what it’s like to be a woman.Plus, it’s springtime. So the theme in the second half is sports. Baseball and football and skydiving and our own general lack of interest in any of it. Except Mike Besaw, who actually goes to games. The rest of us are just awful.

A little more science, a little more heartache, a possible cure for HIV, one of those old Medieval mob scenes where someone is always holding a rolling pin for some reason, and an attempt at a good old fashioned political sketch that isn’t somehow apocalyptic. Wish us luck. ... Then in the second half of the show, we’re coming up on St. Patrick’s Day, so we threw in all our sketches that deal directly or tangentially with Ireland.

We have science, a bit of perversion, and Ebbie Parker’s dead-on script about college radio. Then in the second half of the show, we chat about our real-life terrible bosses - and as usual, whenever we talk about our lives, on or off the air - Jessica. Tops. Everybody.

Ben tries to make a point about anti-semitism. I try to make a point about prescription drugs. Jessica doesn’t really make about about relationships. She just shows a really awful one. And Keith wrote a parody of War of the Worlds. Then he went to Japan. So maybe he knows something.

We start with a musical indirect nod to President’s Day. Then Ben has collected some of the lies that Millennials tell each other. Dominique reveals her inner thoughts - which I’d always wondered about. We have kind of an all-American section at the end, with Keith bringing the new Mary Poppins and Joe bemoaning the new Disney. And in the first half of the show, possibly our first crowd-sourced sketch - which came from a post on my Facebook page, and ended up being written by more than a dozen people.

A Valentine’s Day show, with the kind of sketches about romance and relationships that you might expect from people who are hanging out in a recording studio on a Wednesday night because they have no particular reason to go home. Some new material - mostly up front. Plus, a lot of the sketches take place in cars. Not sure why. But it’s all about love - and a little bit about porn - and it’s just because apparently some of you are - you know - still trying? Which … good on you, heh?

All new sketches this week, with a lot of things about coffee. And not just because the Starbucks guy is running for president for some reason. And they’re going to spell his name wrong on the ballot!! Anybody done that joke yet?!Plus, Ben and Jessica each announce things they want. Joe Davis has a sketch about … basically his own dating life. Valerie Van de Panne combines coffee and money. Gil Baron is obsessed with Linda Cardellini apparently. And Keith Saltojanes looks at a 55-year-old soap opera

In this week’s show, every news story in every sketch is true. … Most of the news stories. Other times, our sketches may be about poop. But this is a collection of sketches - including two brand new ones - with actual news stories from as far back as 2013. God. Remember the news in 2013? Wasn’t it so much better? These kids today - they don’t know.

The bullshit distraction of the government shutdown continues. And some people are mad at Gillette for telling them not to be assholes. Note: When fishing a razor out of your protest toilet by hand, Gillette says not to take out your anger on your wife. Take it out on Alastair Bitner - Keith’s bit at the end of the show. Before that, Joe Davis brings us “Name That Fart." And Ari Stidham - Sylvester in the TV show "Scorpion" - is Jesus at the last supper - in the most awesome place ever for supper!

This week, Samantha Gurewitz is a werewolf. Sort of. Keith Saltojanes is a swift tailor, and not, uh … well, I think you can see this one coming. Joe Davis brings another episode of Slash Frontlobe where leftwing revenge fantasies once again mean nothing. And Ben Kuerchner and Barry Lank each have a separate take on this whole wall fracas and government shutdown.

Sketches about our New Years culture, including cast member Jessica Park’s horrible experiences on Uber. Plus Gil’s parody of the movie “Three Identical Strangers” - which maybe you’ve never heard of, but now you're going to hear a parody. Then at the end, an actual panel discussion called “Weed, Coke, Bath Salts.”Also, a sex scandal hits the Muppet Show. That’s from our writer Joe Davis, who lives in Baltimore and spends his time thinking about that kind of thing.