Nearly Coherent

eD! and Jeff are back after a long period of technical nonsense that caused all sorts of issues with their recap of the Apple event, some basic human maintenance that eD!'s been engaging in that has made him feel less like a gnarled old man, details on where they've been all this time, and their newfound quest for whimsy! Also, as a side note, eD! owes dbrand an apology -- he thinks that his AirPods Pro case might have been to blame for his wireless charging issues, not their case for his AirPods Pro, so he's a real piece of shit for saying otherwise. Oh, and you can get the Ghost case that eD! and Jeff bought here -- that's not an affiliate link or something, dbrand just makes nice stuff and deserves your money to be honest!

eD! and Jeff are back to talk about a wide assortment of topics, including chocolate bars, language-learning apps, and sunflower seeds! And, y'know, all the stuff from the "Far Out" Apple event that happened on Wednesday. You knew that already, though, since, like, when do we not talk about the bazillions of dollars we just hand our pals in Cupertino?

eD! and Jeff discuss all the happenings at WWDC, beguiling TikTok videos, the horrors of exercise, and Bluetooth-enabled water bottles! Also they talk about where they've been for four months and, spoiler, it's none of your business, jackass. But, as an apology, here's a DALL·E image of a hamster making it rain, which should make things better for everyone:

eD! and Jeff stick to their new every-other-week schedule like the extremely dedicated heroes they are to discuss only the hottest topics of the day, even though that day was a few weeks ago! You want example topics? Put on some socks, 'cause we're about to knock your goofy ass outta 'em! The newest cast memeber for "Fast 10", and eD!'s dream casting for Vin Diesel's non-John Cena brother!Jeff's mind-altered snacking shenanigans!Spoilers for movies that are between 14 and 37 years old!Jeff's funeral plans!Shiny new toys!Memories of operating systems gone by!And apple juice, because we're not afraid to get controversial!

eD! and Jeff get back together like a sexy podcasting Voltron to discuss the horrors of feet, the glory of the "Weird Al" biopic, the ongoing nightmare that is the threat of COVID Dick, the heartbreak of heroes lost, the excitement of new sportsball heroes, and memories from decades gone by of a dude who should have been wearing a lot more on the beach! Also, no Dave this episode, so this is a perfect soundtrack for those sexytimes you might be hoping to have tonight, although this episode is longer than 15 seconds so it might not be the best idea you ever had, endurance-wise. Oh, yeah, we're going to be releasing these things every other week from now on, and we're already ahead of the game, prepared-episode-wise, so no more 27 year gaps between episodes, probably. And if you want to get those lightbulbs that eD! talks about, homies, we got you.

eD! and Jeff talk about Thanksgiving food preferences, feelings on parades, weird eyebrows, eD!'s teeth, and all sorts of other crap! Listen to this instead of the crazed rantings of your uncle that's on Facebook too frequently, it'll be way better.

eD! and Jeff discuss all the happenings at the September Apple Event! And also Niki Minaj's cousin's balls. Yeah, it's a weird one. Episode Details "If You Listen Carefully, You can Hear Our Wallets Screaming in the Background" "If You Listen Carefully, You can Hear Our Wallets Screaming in the Background"

eD! and Jeff discuss disgraced governors, how to piss off jackasses in a 7-Eleven parking lot, and eD! regales you with the saga of Super Hero, his favorite deli in the universe! Also, we spend like 15 minutes straight talking about a really good egg sandwich, so maybe you should have one of them before you listen to this episode, or else you'll be sitting there all, "Damn, I shoulda had that egg sandwich I was warned about, this sounds delicious" the whole time.

eD! and Jeff discuss eD!'s super-weird vacation, Jeff's achievement of hitting peak Dad-ness, podcast listening habits, stank-ass celebrities, respond to some listener email! You can listen to the episode where eD!'s eye was last a funky weirdo, Villain Meeting, here. You can also see the dope Zoom Freak 2 shoes eD!'s Dad got by clicking here. And you can take your shitty opinions on "Joker" right back with you to Hell, you bastards.

eD! and Jeff discuss the Feast of St. Rocco, new shows they're watching, how streaming has broken Jeff's poor brain, and the majesty of The Waffle House! By the way, we know it's taken a while for new episodes to come out, but if your podcast playing app ever shows you this shit? It's a lie. This podcast will be finished when either eD! and/or Jeff are DEAD (especially if eD! dies because Jeff doesn't know how to upload the episodes).

eD! and Jeff discuss the new Apple MagSafe Battery Pack Thing, other portable battery packs, “Black Widow”, “Luca”, returning to movie theaters, and answer some reader mail!

eD! and Jeff discuss fitness goals, how much eD! loves his new iPads Pro, acceptance of comfort, and new drinks that eD! just found out about!

eD! and Jeff discuss stupid work cliches, Apple's lossless music plans, weird-ass dreams, and the return of the single greatest food mascot in the history of food mascots!

eD! and Jeff discuss all the goings-on from the WWDC keynote last week, reverse tramp-stamps, eD!'s history with cars, and dumb fitness routines!

eD! and Jeff discuss beard coloring, a shared hatred of a beloved movie musical, and dad stereotypes!

eD!, Jeff, and Dave discuss bullshit holidays, a new theme for Dave’s News Corner, and the latest installment of Tales of the In-Laws, “The Day The Lights Went Out”!

eD! and Jeff talk about Jeff’s new computer, and, in honor of Dave’s completion of another lap around the sun, regale you once again with the story of Dave’s 21st birthday!

eD!, Jeff, and Dave discuss how many iPhone chargers is too many, Jeff and Dave’s experience getting the COVID-19 vaccine, and pillows made for giant-ass heads!

eD! and Jeff talk about all the going's on at Apple's Spring Loaded event, and gadzooks they're gonna spend so much money.

In A Christmas Moose, eD! mentioned that he had a few episodes that he had yet to finish editing from the end of 2020 that he would finish up and release "soon". But, if 2020 showed us anything, it's that time has no meaning, so "soon" can be whenever we want it to be and, in this case, it's now!

Jeff has binged a new show that he's ashamed of! Cyclists being assaulted by nature! Tales of the In-Laws! And a discussion on how no one should give a damn about Potato Heads, there's more important shit going on if you didn't notice!

eD!, Jeff, and Dave discuss their shared love of the rom-coms on Netflix and The Hallmark Channel, Dave shares a Tale of The In-Laws, eD! and Jeff listen to a Dave's News Corner about illegal lunch meat, and all agree that olive loaf is weird!

eD! and Jeff are joined by the newly-married Dave and Lisa to discuss their wedding, their honeymoon, Dave's incredible dance moves, manicures and pedicures, and other horrors that the mind can barely comprehend!

You were here for the proposal. You've heard about the planning. Now it's time to enjoy tales from the social event of the season: Dave and Lisa's wedding!

eD! and Jeff discuss Nick Kroll, “The Mandalorian”, the live-action Spider-Verse, and the AirPods Max!

eD! and Jeff talk about the 2020 presidential election, excellent coloring books you should buy, and all the stuff announced at Apple’s “One More Thing” event!

eD! and Jeff talk about everything that happened at the “Hi, Speed” Apple Event, and spend a moment mourning our bank accounts come November 6th.

eD! and Jeff talk about Chadwick Boseman, Sabertooth, and excellent pop-singles from movies!

eD! and Jeff talk about all the happenings at the "Time Flies" Apple Event, and discuss the Microsoft Surface Duo!

Having done this podcast for 197 more episodes than anyone ever thought they would, eD! and Jeff bring Nearly Coherent back to its roots: spending a bunch of time making fun of Dave, who finally accounts for where the hell he's been all this time, and marveling at the quality of the Dave's News Corner story he brought with him!

eD! and Jeff talk with the podcast’s #1 Fan, Sandy, about Nova Scotia, Canadian music, awkward injuries, and embarrassing YouTube channel-subscription accidents that certain people won’t ever live down!

eD! tells a story that’s been haunting him since childhood, Jeff breaks our brains with “Jeopardy!” facts, they talk about how weirdly high the bar is for what counts as news now, and reactions to the deal between AMC Theaters and Universal Studios!

eD! and Jeff discuss being gnarled old men, home massage equipment, Funko Pop! figures, and purchases they’ve made they might have wanted to spend a little bit more time thinking about!

eD! and Jeff discuss terrible songs to have stuck in your head, a "Dave" that doesn't suck, a behind-the-scenes look at how Nearly Coherent gets put together, and rumors about future “Fast and Furious” movies!

eD! and Jeff discuss buddy movies they want to see, inflatable hot tubs, "Black Panther 2" rumors, and totally lose track of what the hell is going on real quick.

eD! and Jeff get all nerd-horny over everything announced at WWDC. It’s real steamy, folks!

eD! and Jeff discuss what's going on right now, and sincerely hope they didn't totally blow it.

eD! and Jeff talk about Apple and Google’s COVID tracing API, the Snyder cut of “Justice League”, and chain restaurant delivery shenanigans!

eD! and Jeff discuss eD!’s latest COVID-related dilemma, new MCU casting rumors, and updated Disney Plus release dates eD!’s very excited about.

eD!, Jeff, and Val discuss burger concerns, a story adjacent to Val’s incredible dating history, and a follow-up to a story we forgot to talk about last week!

eD! and Jeff discuss the iPad Pro Magic Keyboard, analysis paralysis, and as-yet-undiscovered Easter eggs!

eD! and Jeff discuss the iPhone SE, rumors about the iPhone 12, a television show they can agree is great, and almost avoid all discussion of COVID-19 entirely!

Dumb essential workers, ridiculous fines, a warning about a show eD! loves that came to Netflix this month, and post-COVID plans!

eD! and Jeff talk Wisconsin voting, ridiculous COVID-19 purchases, conspiracy theories, and Jeff’s newfound personal growth!

eD! and Jeff talk about the worst news of the week, embarrassing Jeff’s kids with threats of TikTok, and some edgy commentary on root vegetables!

eD! and Jeff discuss the 2020 iPad Pro, excellent new offers from streaming services at the moral center of the internet, and their preferences in chicken preperation.

eD!, Jeff, and Val discuss “Love Is Blind”, Popeye, and new sleep aids!

eD! and Jeff discuss internet arguments, the Flat-Earth theory, Netflix shows, and new Twitter followers.

eD! and Jeff discuss Jeff’s luxurious beard, talk about the movie eD!'s cousin wrote, Standing Up, Falling Down, and become very excited about a new smartphone case eD! can’t stop thinking about.

eD! and Jeff discuss Valentine adventures, the price of trumpets, terrible Twitter takes, and things that could tank Jeff’s theoretical political campaign!

eD! and Jeff talk about new dinosaurs, the Oscars, and being so very old, oh man, it’s terrible.