Not Only, But Also

It's a NOBA first! In part two of a two-part series, Renee and Nicole welcome special guests Gregory and Jonathan—their husbands. In a fun, but also serious, conversation, the couples share how they've loved and fought their way through 15-plus years of marriage. They also realize how much each other is a lot like the person they married.Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” and outro by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

It's a NOBA first! In part one of a two-part series, Renee and Nicole welcome special guests Gregory and Jonathan—their husbands. In a fun, but also serious, conversation, the couples share how they've loved and fought their way through 15-plus years of marriage. They also realize how much each other is a lot like the person they married.Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” and outro by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

In part 2 of Friends, but also Sisters, Renee and Nicole continue their discussion on all things friendship, including red flags and green flags in relationships, as well as more of their own friendship story. With candor, vulnerability, and humor they share how to engage your friends, fight for your friendships, and be the best BFF ever.Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” and outro by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

Why is making and keeping friends so difficult? What constitutes a healthy friendship? What are friendship red flags? In this episode, part 1 of 2, Renee and Nicole tackle these questions and more from friends, besties, frenemies, and the ever-evasive “sister” relationship. With candor, vulnerability, and humor they share their own friendship story, as well while also answering your submitted questions about BFF's.Mentioned in this episode:- The 5Ls by Shawn Banzhaf - Nedra TawwabIntro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” and outro by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

In conclusion of their 2-part discussion on whiteness and colorism, Renee and Nicole continue to share personal and cultural stories around this topic to reveal how, too often, cultural standards of “beauty” impact the most vulnerable so those in power can remain in power.Mentioned in this episode:- Woke Racism by John McWhorter Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” and outro by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

In Part 1 of a 2-part series on whiteness and colorism, Renee and Nicole define these terms and discuss how they might appear in different societies to the exclusion and oppression of people with darker skin tones. They share personal and cultural stories around this topic to reveal how, too often, cultural standards of “beauty” often impact the most vulnerable so those in power can remain in power. The current crisis in Ukraine is also discussed and how colorism is being seen on the world stage.  Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” and outro by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/Correction: Renee mentioned how Keanu will be 57 and a half in April. It's actually March.Mentioned in this series:-Whiteness definition: From National Museum of African American History and       Culture: https://nmaahc.si.edu/learn/talking-about-race/topics/whiteness-Jones, Trina (2001). "Shades of Brown: The Law of Skin Color". Duke Law Journal. 49 (1487). doi:10.2139/ssrn.233850.- The Racial Healing Handbook by Anneliese SinghShow (Netflix): Indian Matchmaking -Jerry Seinfeld on Diversity in Comedy: https://youtu.be/EsEr6xNN8HwIntercultural Development Inventory (Hammer, 2012)Intersectionality (Kimberlé Crenshaw): https://www.law.columbia.edu/news/archive/kimberle-crenshaw-intersectionality-more-two-decades-later [Correction: Renee misspoke and said intersectionality occurs when power is “achieved” instead of saying “negotiated”]-Jordan Peterson resignation piece: https://nationalpost.com/opinion/jordan-peterson-why-i-am-no-longer-a-tenured-professor-at-the-university-of-toronto/wcm/4c000e2b-fabd-4067-a7a5-ed7908fc3643/amp/- Woke Racism by John McWhorter 

Renee and Nicole are back with their first ever shoot-the-breeze-episode, in which you are invited into their back-and-forth of trying to figure out this week's topic. They end up discussing mentoring, heaven and hell, Oprah, and justice, among other things...including Renee discovering that she prefers monogamy. Welcome to the process.Special appearances by Jonathan Cottrell  and our very own producer, Evan Bates. Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” and outro by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/Referenced in this episode:“Mother Hunger” by Kelly Mcdaniel

In part 2 of having conversations with kids about real issues, Renee and Nicole discuss the ongoing dialogues they have with their children about race and racism. Whether it's sorting out identity, understanding cultural concepts, or navigating complex interactions, they share their own stories of how they've been learning as they go, alongside their children. Part 1 of this conversation discussed how the hosts talk about sex with their children.Mentioned in this episode:-The Color of Us by Karen Katz-Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? By Beverly Daniel Tatum-The concept of "Ubuntu" and poem In Lak'Ech Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” and outro by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

NOBA episodes have tackled big questions, but what about when it's time to speak to your children about certain issues? In this episode, Part 1 of 2 on talking to children about sex and racism, Renee and Nicole share insights and personal anecdotes on how to speak to kids about sex, addressing consent, masturbation, and shame.Mentioned in this episode:-Greta Eskridge, Instagram @maandpamodern-To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee -Unbound by Tarana BurkeIntro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” and outro by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

What do spiritual abuse, murder, espionage and orgies have in common? Listen to Part 2 as Renee and Nicole unravel this mystery, and more, with their usual humor and personal insight—as they discuss the forms spiritual abuse takes and how God is leading people forward to wholeness and hope.Mentioned in this episode:-Jawaharlal Nehru, delivering his Tryst with Destiny speech: https://www.cam.ac.uk/tryst_with_destinyIntro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” and outro by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

What do spiritual abuse, murder, espionage and orgies have in common? Listen as Renee and Nicole unravel this mystery, and more, with their usual humor and personal insight—as they discuss the forms spiritual abuse takes and how God is leading people forward to wholeness and hope.Mentioned in this episode:-Escaping the Maze of Spiritual Abuse: Creating Healthy Christian Cultures   -Book by Justin Humphreys and Lisa OakleyIntro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” and outro by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

In part two of their honest conversation about deconstruction, Renee and Nicole conclude by offering hope for those who are ready to reconstruct. Although they offer no pat answers or simple solutions, their insights and stories demonstrate the value—and necessity—of moving away from forced religion and walking toward authentic faith.Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” and outro by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

Through their own personal deconstruction stories and experience from within the church, Renee and Nicole have a candid conversation about faith deconstruction. But they don't stop there. Instead, they offer insight, empathy, and hope for those finding their way forward, while also dismantling what needs to be left behind.Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” and outro by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

Renee and Nicole continue answering audience questions, which include their views on people who choose not to have children, tapping into the spirit world and conjuring the dead, white supremacy at the Olympics, their favorite hobbies, and their career trajectories. It really is the everything, and even more.WATCH THIS EPISODE ON YOUTUBE: https://youtu.be/TIwIePOLxFYIntro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” and outro by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

Renee and Nicole answer audience questions, including inclusion within the church, their decisions on how to school their children, and what they love and hate about their Enneagram types.WATCH THIS EPISODE ON YOUTUBE: https://youtu.be/bIiC7CxBd-cIntro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” and outro by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

Body image, self esteem, negative messages, and our relationship with food are all up for discussion in part 2 of Body insecurity, but also confidence. In this episode, Renee and Nicole continue to speak vulnerably about the tension between these ideas and how health often doesn't look like what we think it will.TW: eating disordersIntro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” and outro by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

Our relationship with our bodies is always changing. We often move from loving them to seeing them as a frenemy to betraying them daily. In this episode, Renee and Nicole discuss the topic of body image and how theirs has shifted over the years. They discuss childhood messages, media, and abuse and how each of those contributed to their view of their bodies, but also how they've grown to be more confident in their skin—and love themselves more.TW: eating disordersIntro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” and outro by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

Get ready for more titillating and arousing conversation, as Renee and Nicole continue with part 2 of "The Orgasm Gap." In this episode they discuss shame, self-pleasuring, science, and all the bits in between-and offer practical ideas on how to close the gap and get more "OH'S" in your life.Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” and outro by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/Mentioned in this episode:-Lady Suite Feminine Wellness

Let's talk about sex, baby. But more specifically, let's talk about the ever elusive, but always welcome, orgasm and why the "orgasm gap" exists. In this rousing and titillating episode, Renee and Nicole break down the reasons for the orgasm gap, but more importantly what you can do to enjoy sex more and how to close the gap. They share ideas on how to bring the "oh" back to orgasms and why God loves women and sex.Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” and outro by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/Mentioned in this episode:-Broster, A. (2020). What Is The Orgasm Gap?-Frederick et al (2018). From Differences in Orgasm Frequency Among Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Heterosexual Men and Women in a U.S. National Sample-Mintz, L. (2015). The Orgasm Gap: Simple Truth & Sexual Solutions-The Orgasm Gap – Durex UK -She Comes First by Dr. Ian Kerner  

In part 2 of their discussion on boundaries, Renee and Nicole tackle the meaty topics of setting boundaries with parents, around politics, with significant others, children, and within the church. Whew. They also discuss the best boundary-setter of all: Jesus.Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” and outro by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/Mentioned in this episode:- Nicole Sachs, LCSW— https://instagram.com/nicolesachslcsw-WellsBeing—healthy living by Kerry Wells -Quiet Revolution: Unlocking the Power of Introverts by Susan Cain- Samuel L . Jackson—Go the F**k to Sleep

In part 1 of a two-part discussion, Renee and Nicole break down the need for boundaries and how setting them is an act of self-compassion. They talk setting boundaries with parents, within the church, and in toxic relationships.Be warned: we use a lot of explicit language in this one.Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” and outro by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/Mentioned in this episode:-Boundaries Books by Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend -Boundaries - The Work Of The People featuring Dr. Brene Brown-My Book — Nedra Tawwab

Does how we gather or where we gather as Christians matter? Is it possible to live a Christian church life modeled after the book of Acts? In this episode, Renee and Nicole discuss their own personal church expression: organic church and how it's changed the way they think of "church." They talk pastors, leadership, raising up children, and the messiness of a life lived together.Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” and outro by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/Mentioned in this episode:-Wolfgang Simpson: https://www.tyndale.com/authors/wolfgang-simson/1169-The book Reimagining Church by Frank Viola: https://frankviola.org/2008/09/03/the-back-story-behind-reimagining-church/-Our organic church tenets:    -Christ is head    -We live life like a healthy family    -Every member functions

In a NOBA first, Renee and Nicole respond directly to a current cultural event—the Atlanta shootings, which took the lives of six Asian women. In this episode, they dismantle the arguments and defenses given for such an atrocity, while underscoring the need to face such lies head on in order to preserve truth and honor the victims.Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” and outro by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/ -Sonya Renee Taylor's post that was mentioned in the episode:https://www.instagram.com/tv/CMl_TQXgYP5/?igshid=jpebujgjtcel

The conversation around diversity has been ongoing, spurred on by the events of 2020. But what should diversity in the church look like and why is it so difficult to achieve? In this episode, Renee and Nicole address these questions, and more, with their usual honesty and humor—with a declaration of whose responsibility this work truly is.Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” and outro by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

Prayer, and its practice, is a common conversation in Christian circles. But what about hearing from God? In this episode, Renee and Nicole share how they each hear from God, as well as some of the unique, unexpected, even supernatural ways God has communicated with them. Because discerning how God speaks can be just as important as praying.Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” and outro by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

Believers have a long, weird history with therapy, or really their lack of therapy. But why? In this episode, Renee and Nicole discuss some of the lies and misconceptions around Christians and therapy. And instead, they offer a refreshing, funny, honest view of the need for therapy and how it can actually complement, not hinder, your faith.Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

How can we be adopted into God's family, but often find ourselves searching for a place to call home? In this episode, Renee and Nicole discuss the often difficult tension between being a faith-filled person who longs for a faith-filled community—and how it can look differently than we might have imagined.Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

There's excitement in looking to the future with all the hope a new year can bring. But there's also value in taking stock of what we've learned from the previous year. In this episode, Renee and Nicole do both as they discuss the impact of 2020 and how it changed them and us all, but also how it exposed the promise of what's to come.Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

Many times we are told we need to "wait on the Lord," or "be still." But what about the times we have to grab hold of our faith and push forward? In this episode, Renee and Nicole discuss when to move and when to pause and how both are faith-filled.Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

Why doesn't Mary—the brave, bold mama of Jesus—get much airplay in the American church? Renee and Nicole discuss the dichotomy of a common everyday girl being the favored one, and how that invitation is extended to each of us.Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

In this episode, Renee and Nicole tackle the sometimes controversial and nuanced topic of "purity culture" and how it's affected their own views on sex and what it means to be "pure".Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

In this episode, Renee and Nicole discuss their dealings with autoimmune diseases. Despite the experienced pains of their infirmities, a healthy dose of the good medicine of laughter takes its effect in the conversation.Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

In this episode, Renee and Nicole offer up some much needed levity and discuss the ever-popular topic of the enneagram. But in doing so, they challenge the stereotypes that exist around personality tests. Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

In this episode, Renee and Nicole share their personal stories of doubt in the midst of faith and how the two are linked in discovering true knowing.Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

In this episode, Renee and Nicole discuss one of their most controversial topics to date: President Trump. With openness and humor, they recount their personal stories of how they have seen the world differently since the 2016 presidential election to now, on the eve of one of the most contentious elections in history.Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

In this episode, Renee and Nicole tackle the ever-so-emotionally-complicated topic of motherhood. With six children between them, they honestly discuss the pressures, temptations and beauty of mothering, but also the fact that it's okay if being a mother is not your lifelong dream...and how the both/and can carry you through.Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

In this episode, Renee and Nicole open up the conversation of what it means to be a wife. They discuss the often-tenuous yet always-beautiful relationship between being married to someone, but still being an individual within that relationship. How do you live as “one” and still honor your unique self?Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/

In the first-ever episode of Not Only, But Also, Renee and Nicole introduce themselves, discuss their experiences growing up bi-racial, and share how this in-between space, representing two different cultures, helped shape their view of themselves and the world.Intro music “Bhangra, but also jazz” by Gregory Kyle Klughttps://gregorykyle.com/