Pod Thai - Grumpy Expats In Bangkok

00:06 - Fish and Chips in Thailand it rubbish 03:04 - Why don't Thai people knock the door? 03:55 - English builders vs Thai builders 10:00 - YouTuber Lord Miles now captured by the Taliban (Not funny) 12:40 - China is worse than 1984 now... 16:02 - Jail time for scaring Chinese chickens 17:30 - Dalai Lama regrets asking boy to suck his tongue 22:03 - Indonesian breaks penis after perfoming worlds most dangerous sex position (we don't know the position) 22:14 - Farang raft rescued in middle of ocean (stupid) 22:48 - Why are sex toys considered obscene objects in Thailand? 23:28 - More naughty monks 25:08 - Are British people racist for saying "going for a Chinese"? (they aren't) 26:17 - Please don't get buses in Thailand (unless you have no money) 27:00 - Did you know this about 7-Eleven motorway services? (anoying) 27:50 - Thailand PLEASE STOP ADDING SUGAR 30:55 - Is it legal to be this hot? (technically yes) 33:10 - Thai motorways are mayhem 36:36 - Sh*t loads of ways to use the words sh*t. Literally sh*t loads. (not a joke) 42:50 - Thai influencers don't know anything about cheese 45:30 - Jerk off karaoke still going strong

0:36 - The problem with Thai hospitals 8:00 - Unlimited wine and tapas for under 100 baht 10:40 - Soi dog finds bag of 1000 meth pills in Sattahip 14:20 - Good luck tree gives Thai lottery numbers for 6,000,000 baht 17:40 - April fools day is illegal in Thailand 20:00 - Why Thais might not like farangs (Pattaya) 23:15 - Anyone fancy Pad Krapow flavored condoms?

1:00 - Everyone is dying 2:20 - Best hospital in Bangkok? 3:00 - Best beer in Thailand (And it's cheap) 15:15 - Why are Thai bottle openers so dangerous? 15:55 - Are Farangs less flexible as Asians? 8:50 - "I can offer 12 inches if she wants it" - Gary Dodd 11:55 - Blowjob classes on Koh Panghan - Katie Mae Scripps 15:30 - No foreign tour guides allowed! 17:40 - No high powered water guns, no booze and no powder this Songkran 19:44 - Spycams in the Australian embassy toilet 22:00 - Free food hack 23:45 - Asians love to be pale, westerners like to be darker 27:25 - Why is foreign accent syndrome always a Chinese accent? 30:10 - Is it normal to drive you taxi driver around? 32:20 - A.I. answers Who would in in a fight between a Sumo and Muay thai fighter? 33:30 - A.I answers what to do for songkran 36:00 - A.I. answers best place to celebrate Songkran 42:40 - A.I. answers the best cities in Thailand 45:00 - A.I.'s Thailand quiz 47:10 - Do Thai people hate Pad Thai?

1:50 - Why do Thai people love sweet food? 4:20 - This is the last thing I want when I'm eating my sushi in Ekkamai 6:20 - Far East News - Some good news and some bad news about the missing radioactive cylinder 12:10 - Do NOT tell Thai immigration that you're a Crypto millionaire 13:20 - This is the last thing that you want to happen if you bungee jump in Pattaya 21:00 - You don't want to see this lying on the ground 24:25 - When you come to Thailand - DO NOT fist fight with monkeys on Koh Phi Phi 25:35 - Why are Thai people so impolite? 29:10 - Is it okay to chop off peoples nobs if they say it's okay? 32:20 - The biggest myths about Thailand according to A.I. 36:25 - Are Thai police corrupt? 39:35 - MYTH - Thailand is a cheap destiniation

2:30 - Living in Thailand on Western Time 3:37 - I bought a bottle of piss for 40 baht 6:00 - Good idea for a film written by a little Thai kid 7:20 - The problem with writing futuristic things FAR EAST NEWS 11:00 - Chinese man stole $24 then hid in a cave for 14 years 13:50 - Should we let Bronson out of prison? 15:21 - Popular female biker unmasked as 50-year-old Japanese man 19:00 - When is Sixties fashion coming back? 20:20 - Should we save tigers? 22:10 - Pandas are pathetic 24:40 - If you find a radioactive cylinder, then don't open it. 26:05 - Thai health and safety 29:55 - Greta Thunberg is up to her old tricks again 23:30 - The reason why the Australian accent is so slurred 35:15 - Chinese holidays are even worse than Thai holidays 38:55 - Asians are overworking 42:00 - A.I is Racist 44:55 - Sex is always the driving force behind technology

3:50 - Levels of hotel in Thailand 5:40 - The problem with Thailand plug system 6:45 - Thai businesses with English names 8:40 - Should you speak in a Thai accent when using English words in Thailand? 10:00 - Thai Language Barriers - English phonetics 11:00 - What is wrong with Thai Taxi drivers? 13:00 - Do taxi drivers rip you off? 18:30 - Far East News: Weird Chinese zoo 19:45 - Far East News: Tesla fails in Thailand 20:50 - Far East News: I was served THIS on Japan Airlines! 21:50 - Far East News: Chinese livestreams are gettign too sexy 23:00 - Far East News: Elephants hijacking trucks in Thailand 25:50 - Far East News: How North Korea commited the largest car theft in history 26:20 - Far East News: Free condoms in Pattaya 26:40 - Far East News: Anti-pervert flamethrowers in China 27:25 - Far East News: Stay away from fish balls in Thailand 29:00 - Has anyone seen Bongo Bert - Thailand Expats Facebook group 32:40 - Farang News: Internet kissing machines 38:10 - AI tells us what the best thing about Thailand is 41:00 - AI tells us what the worse thing about Thailand is 42:45 - AI says DO NOT to look for a holiday romance in Thailand 44:45 - Thailand is terrible for queueing

1:00 Never use Booking.com 3:20 Do sniffer dogs get addicted to drugs? 4:10 Arms dealers getting caught out by declaration forms 6:30 Do Japanese girls have big tits? 8:30 Blokes can sexualise anything 11:10 Is Japan, Germany and France full of perverts? 13:50 Chimpanzee strikes back 14:25 Chinese mom not happy with virgin son 13:20 Thai "meatball" factory shut down 16:00 Japanese breeding visa 16:30 Japanese finds 7,000 new unknown islands 17:25 Man loses custody of daughter for using Alexa app to monitor her 19:35 Woman starts breathing at her own funeral 20:20 Namibian counciler names Adolf Hitler 21:50 Why you shouldn't masturbate in video calls 22:30 Are Japanese people more into Anal? 25:05 9 Reasons why Japan is better than Thailand 29:50 9 Reasons why Thailand is better than Japan 39:40 Worst Chiang Mai Expats comment of the week 42:10 "Why American people eating fried mobile phone?" 43:40 "Elephants are vehicle type animals" 46:15 "New" worst type of farang in Thailand

0:00 - Is a 6 pack worth giving up pizzas? 2:50 - You can get through life if you see everything as a challenge 4:45 - Lambrettas are overrated 6:10 - Best sex playlist 10:40 - Little Englander mentality 15:35 - Far East News: Sexy roti girl isn't happy 17:25 - Far East News: Taiwanese actress e-cigarette police bribe 19:40 - Far East News: Boy playing hide and seek found 6 days later in another country 20:45 - Far East News: Lil pump coming to Pattaya 22:30 - Far East News: Thailand giving out 95 million condoms 24:50 - Pattya Pirate ship bar capsizes 26:40 - Why you should never forgive your mother's killer 29:00 - A problem shared is a problem doubled 31:00 - The first problem with AI 36:00 - AI stealing your ideass off you 36:50 - Ordering a cheesecake in thailand correctly 38:35 - Why are Thai snacks so hard to open? 45:10 - Rating Thai brands with English names

0:00 Happy Chinese New Year 2:03 The 3 types of baldness 5:00 Debunking some common myths and wives tales 8:10 Koh Samet the gay island 9:04 How much do UK taxis cost 10:05 UK trains delayed 10:50 UK homeless people 11:50 Where else to visit in the UK (NOT LONDON) 14:45 Thai military draft - transexuals 15:35 - Far East News: Real life Tarzan found in Vietnam 16:39 - Far East News: Food vlogger stabbed to death by rival food vblogger 17:35 - Far East News: Japanese fish committed credit card fraud 18:10 - Far East News: Japanese man pays $16,000 to look like dog 24:18 - Farang News: Transgender man dips penis into pint of beer 26:50 - Farang News: Judge refuses to dismiss 50 cents penis enlargement lawsuit 28:20 - Farang News: Hippo swallows 2-year-old 30:36 - Farang News: Man shows up in French hospital with WW1 explosive up his arse 33:37 - Farang News: Teen finds out cyberbully is her mom 34:30 - Restaurant birthday Scam 36:32 - Pattaya Expats: Is 16mg viagra over 11 days safe for a 60 year old farang? 41:04 - Bangkok the worst best city for cycling in Asia 43:25 - England food better than Thai food survey says 46:40 - The best of Prince Harry's book quotes

3:25 - Does being famous help you get girls out of your league? 5:20 - Being ginger in a hot country 6:45 - Why do Irish love to drink so much? 10:50 - Travis Leon leaked sex video 12:20 - Most livable city in Asia 13:50 - Most accepting society: Thailand vs Japan 15:15 - Most important thing in a spouse for Japanese people 18:40 - Thai military lottery draft 21:50 - Effects of decriminalising weed in Thailand 23:00 - US vs Russia prisoner exchange 24:45 - Nurse using dead patients' card to buy snacks. Right or wrong? 25:45 - No cheese and onion crisps in Thailand 27:30 - Expat farang hate comments 31:15 - Jon Scales is a bell end 33:10 - Travis Leon being asked Travis Leon questions 35:15 - Americans going out on their own is a bit weird innit? 37:00 - What does cockamolish mean? 38:20 - Difference between dating westerners and Thai girls 41:00 - "I would never date an Irish girl again" 43:40 - Worst motorbike taxi EVER in Thailand. By far. 49:45 - Ireland vs Thailand quiz 57:50 - The Irish inferiority complex 59:00 - The worst type of farang

1:30 - Asia doesn't care about the environment 3:30 - What kind of chocolates to buy a man 4:15 - Why you should avoid the sleeper train to Chiang Mai TIKTOK 10:00 - Red hot Cheetos beef burger 10:40 – Celebrity crushes vs real people 12:50 – Christmas in Thailand 14:20 – Hotels need to sort their plugs out 18 MIN FUNNY MASK FACE 19:15 – Far East News Thailand- Thai temple left with no monks after failing drug test 20:25 – Far East News - Sentenced to death for not selling your house 21:25 – Far East News China - Zombie sheep 20:40 – Far East News India – Chess saves alcoholic village 23:05 – Far East News China - Man runs marathon whilst chain smoking 23:55 – Far East News Indonesia – New law stopping sex before marriage 25:10 – Farang News Headlines 28:35 – Ghana houses of parliament roasting Harry Maguire 30:35 – Porn gone wrong 31:45 – Should you work on Christmas Day? 34:05 – Is it okay to charge your family for Christmas dinner? 36:06 – The Ikea scam 37:30 – The Sizzler scam 39:00 – The Nespresso scam 40:40 – The scan scam 44:00 – Shopping at Hermes is embarrassing 45:20 – Why Koreans love revenge TIKTOK 49:40 – “We've got to stop dissing the ze nazees” – Kanye West

00:05 – Never support England 03:35 – A message to Scottish football fans 05:55 – Have Qatar paid referees? 08:50 – Who will do the worst in the world cup? 10:55 – The best football song 12:55 – Far East News Korea - North Korea could host world cup 15:05 – Should we respect Qatar's culture? 18:05 – Far East News Japan - Japan's world cup aims 21:40 – Farang News UK - The Shieks took me back to the palace and let me play with his lions 24:20 – Farang News - Today I feel Qatari, I feel Gay, I feel disabled 27:25 – Guess the squad nationality quiz 37:50 - Qatar quiz 47:00 – Worst teams in world cup history

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1:10 - Why its better to listen to podcasts than english teachers TT 2:55 - Warning for getting a haircut in Thailand - TT 5:15 - Is it okay to punch someone if youre only joking? 6:10 - How to deal with getting happy-slapped 9:53 - Who would you rather sleep with? Vampire, Mummy, Warewolf or the Bride of Chucky? 11:30 - Far East News Philippines - Extreme anti-cheating methods in school 13:05 - Far East News Thailand - Woman found living in Bangkok airport for 2 months 15:10 - Far East News Thailand - Miss Universe Why Thailand doesnt lie the Philipines TT 18:05 - Far East News Singapore - Should people respect your culture? 21:25 - Far East News Japan - Cartoon eyes save lives 23:05 - Farang News UK - British politics 24:20 - Far East News USA - Is a ninja is just a samurai with no honour? TT 25:15 - Far East News Ireland - U2 finally apologies 29:25 - Chilling Thai ghost stories - Kinky gay ghost TT 34:15 - Chilling Thai ghost stories - I killed my mate because he didn't pay for his beer 37:45 - Chilling Thai ghost stories - How did I know my mom was hungry? 41:05 - English homonyms lesson 46:10 - Dear Pod Thai - My best friend stole my fiancee 48:10 - Dear Pod Thai - Is it ever too late to leave the friend zone?

#20 - Why does Taiwan love gay erotic novels? 0:05 - MegaCovid Symptoms 6:55 - The worst goth Name 8:20 - Do you know what a baby hedgehog is called? 9:25 - Do asian people have bad English tattoos? 14:05 - How long does it take to make a podcast? 17:15 - Far East News Thailand: This Thai whisky will get you arrested. 18:30 - Far East News Thailand: I'm not drowning, I'm just drunk. 19:05 - Far East News Thailand: Thai woman challenges Belgian street racer and crashes. 20:50 - Far East News Japan: New weird burger from Burger King. 21:20 - Far East News Japan: Is Japan sexist? 22:35 - Farang News: The problem with Instagram's new MySpace feature. 24:55 - Farang News UK: Welsh crime fighting Tuk Tuks. 26:25 - Farang News UK: Video of the worst British police officer ever. 27:00 - Farang News UK: Boris Johnson as a Curry. 28:20 - Farang News UK: Man says "I won't give up my seat for pregnant women" 30:00 - Farang News UK: Is it wrong to wear a sombrero? 31:35 - Why Asians are now wearing Elephant pants. 32:35 - Why does Taiwan love gay erotic novels? 33:45 - Is it okay to wear your grandparents clothes? 36:25 - Nob or not? 38:10 - How not to get girls on Instagram. 44:40 - Don't call this a pie!

0:00 - Mens mental health 7:55 - If you were a prostitute what would your standard rate be? 14:55 - Far East News Japan -Japanese anorak fetish 19:35 - Far East News Japan - Tinder conveninence store 21:30 - What countries are safe to sue the police? 23:20 - Farang News - WWE isn't a sport 25:00 - Chess anal bead update 26:05 - What is the capital of Thailand? 27:40 - IMPROV: Getting overcharged at a tourist attraction 29:40 - IMPROV: Thai monkey keeps stealing your food 32:30 - IMPROV: Ordering a traditional English breakfast in Thailand 34:30 - What's the worst thing to say to an English man?

1:00 - Surprising alcoholism recovery method 3:50 - Pattaya soi dogs vs Bangkok soi dogs 7:15 - What the hell is an antioxidant? 9:45 - Breakfast in bed is rubbish? 12:55 - How often do you shit? 15:10 - Do you say pump or fart? 19:05 - Far East News Taiwan - Nursing home stripper for mid-autumn festival 21:25 - Western News - Massive prosthetic busts and bigots 24:25 - Can 1.4 million frogs kill a dog? 28:15 - Was Yellow written in 10 minutes? 29:15 - Rules for what you can and can't eat for breakfast 35:50 – Do you brush your teeth before or after mackerel? 38:15 - Dad jokes written in 15 minutes 45:35 - Racist or not racist - White Chicks 47:20 - Racist or not racist - The Little Mermaid

1:45 - Prince andrew is a sweaty nonce 5:5 - Is Danny Laruso culturally appropriating 6:45 - Can you be too kinky? 10:25 - The problem with jumping spiders 12:15 - Far East News Thailand - Cat hitchhikes across Thailand 15:15 - Far East News Japan - Please use rear train cars if you don't want to be groped 19:35 - Far East News - Selfish bird feeders 21:30 - Western News - The great chess anal toy controversy 28:20 - Whales never hurt anyone... or did they? 31:15 - Why you shouldn't trust French dentists 33:15 - Racist or not racist? 38:30 - You've been saying naan bread wrong your whole life 39:55 - Internet Slang quiz

1:00 - Best mala in Bangkok 3:40 - Why are gay bars so expensive? 4:30 - Why it's good to look at dead bodies 6:20 - Best BTS station in Bangkok 7:25 - How much should you tip Grab riders? 8:10 - How to open a banana 10:00 - My nan used to feed me dog food 11:35 - Tesco Lotus vs Big C 13:00 - Who would be in your will? 14:55 - Nana Plaza vs Soi Cowboy vs Patpong 16:05 - Far East News India - Mom poisons daughters rival 17:40 - Far East News China - Motorway built around stubborn house 19:35 - Far East News Hong Kong - Naked chat blackmailing 22:20 - Far East News Thailand - Fake monks 23:15 - Western News - Reasons for morning glory 27:25 - Western News UK - Dealing with vegans 28:30 - Western News USA - Leo Dicaprio breaking the dating rule 32:25 - Western News USA poo PTSD 34:05 - Dear diary I nearly drowned 40:20 - Shit quotes of the week 45:05 - Countries with the strongest lightning 47:50 - No cows in thailand? 49:05 - Daytime weed is okay but not beer?

Tons of advice for you in today's podcast, from relationships to masturbation and more news than ever brings you the best, but mainly the worst that Thailand has to offer. We share with you a newcomer to Thailand's first observations and share with you our experience of a strange Bangkok museum that might actually be worth visiting. If you're in Thailand or England, or anywhere in between, get involved and listen.

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Listen in for plenty of the best of the worst Thai news. Bottom of the barrel stuff. You also get to learn a Thai superstition which you can find with a quick google search but it's much better hearing it on our podcast. Lucky listeners will also learn a little strange but effective pick up which works for guys and girls, even us…a long time ago. There is a lot more but if I tell there's no point in listening. In fact, I haven't even mentioned the best stuff. Fancy that.

Probably one of the best podcast episodes ever made, we discuss Kit Kats and K-pop, Bangkok and speed bumps. You'll have to take our word for it that it's better than it sounds. We both have problems this week; Todd only has 500 baht in the bank whilst Alex's body composition is approaching that of a sumo wrestler. To cheer ourselves up we try our hand at singing a very Thai song. Unfortunately we can't sing. Alex also has a go at a quiz about Thailand with surprising results. Krung Thep Mahanakhon Amon Rattanakosin Mahinthara Ayuthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Burirom Udomratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Piman Awatan Sathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukam Prasit - learn it

Today we discover that if we had to take a British citizenship test there is every chance we'd fail and to never give old people the benefit of the doubt Why aren't there many roundabouts in Thailand and how should we approach them? Last and in fact the most important, whatever you do, don't listen to social media English teachers! Find out why by listening right to the end of the podcast (fast-forwarding through the rest doesn't work)

Today we introduce dear diary and discover Alex has been listening in on people have verbal sex, whatever that is. If you're not British, you can learn some British slang words and tongue twisters. And if you are British, you can learn some amazing Thai news. It's a win win. Have you ever been scammed? Ever have shrimp cooked by accident? Ever had verbal sex in the gym? Are you alive? If your answer is yes to any one of those question listen to this podcast.

Today we get the answers to why monkeys have massive balls and why farangs drink lots of beer. We also ask if the English premier league football clubs have let Thailand down. We also learn where not to meditate and how to get a free ride at the airport. Grab taxis obviously get a mention as they are still bloody annoying and much much more. Don't be shy, give it a try!

Today we prove that there are people even more ignorant than us! If you can teach Todd you'll make us even less ignorant. We also Learn some of the most crucial laws in both the UK and Thailand and Korean boy band BTS teach us what to do on public transport, so all in all it is a wonderful learning experience. Less important to all but one person, we reveal the coveted follower of the month. It could be you. Probably not though.

We return this week some new superstitions from around the world and see if Thailand can back up their marginal victory over England with another over Japan. We take a look through some of the funniest comments we received this week and award our first follower of the month! Give us a listen and next month it could just be you. Imagine that.

Mr. (Top 8) Thailand joins us for an interview as we discuss his party boy lifestyle and it's France vs Thailand today in the battle of the foods. We talk toilet paper and weed, Grab bikes and monkeys as we try to put your suggestions into practice and laugh more as we've been told.

Today we put Alex's preference of English food to the test as we try to come to terms with our newly found micro fame and discuss some of the funnier replies to our online clips. We learn that you must be careful when getting a Thai tattoo and touch upon some other stuff. I'd tell you it all but then you wouldn't have to listen would ya. Enjoy

Do you need to be Japanese to make it in the Japan porn industry? We still don't know. We try our best give you some useful Bangkok suggestions and reports but couldn't help but come back to toilets and shit. And to reiterate the title, I do not want taro in my ice cream.

The boys are back to tell you all about their little cycling trip from Bangkok to Bangsen Hint: The cycling wasn't that fun, but Bang Saen was. Todd tests his knowledge of Thailand in a quiz. We discuss why British people should take some advice from Thais and stop putting their handbrake on when parking. However, we also find out why Thailand and the rest of the world need to adopt the superior British plug socket system. Sounds like a sensible episode. It's not.

We finally settle the age old question and give you the official answer to which country is better to live in, England or Thailand. Our news sections hits new lows but we do deliver an important update on the faeces eater, and take a look at why the flipping heck someone would recommend a Greek restaurant for tourists in Thailand! We may be grumpy but at least we're honest….tune in anyway

Today we teach you the best and worst ways to get around Bangkok. Tell you the one thing you need to make sure of when you get a Thai massage. Tips for driving in Bangkok How to deal with Thai people giving you a receipt As well as our usual weekly far east news round up: The Thai cult leader/ feces eater is back in business. North Korea is in trouble So is the Chinese city of Zhoushan Enjoy it. We'll be back next week.