Podcasts about englishman

Ethnicity and nation native to England

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Latest podcast episodes about englishman

Total Soccer Show: USMNT, EPL, MLS, Champions League and more ...
The Big Thing: Is the England national team good or fully in crisis, and what are the their World Cup chances?

Total Soccer Show: USMNT, EPL, MLS, Champions League and more ...

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 30, 2022 59:02


On today's episode of The Big Thing, it's time for a Scot and an American to help an Englishman tackle the confusing behemoth that is the England national team. Are they in trouble and, if so, how much? What are Southgate's preferred tactics, how have they evolved, and are they best suited to get the team playing well? What happens after the tournament? Plenty of questions to be answered, and we do our best to do so! -- WE'RE DOING A LIVE SHOW! The TSS foursome will be in New York for a live show on Sunday, November 20th. We'll be talking World Cup, USMNT, and so much more.  Check out this link for tickets and the rest of the details! — Sponsors! Today's show is brought to you by... Artifact! Go to heyartifact.com and enter the code 'TSS20' at checkout to save $20 on your first Artifact! Indochino! To get $50 off any purchase of $399 or more, use promo code 'TSS' at Indochino.com! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Celluloid Pudding: Movies. Film. Discussions. Laughter. History. Carrying on.
GOTHIC - Join us as we discuss the film, the terror, the stuff of nightmares.

Celluloid Pudding: Movies. Film. Discussions. Laughter. History. Carrying on.

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 29, 2022 110:08


Please join us as we get a jump start on our very favorite time of year: the Halloween season. This film is particularly appropriate as it portrays (in the way only Ken Russell can...) an infamous night of revelry and ghostly, disturbing goings on at the Villa Diodati. A night that spawned two new creatures: Frankenstein and the Vampyre. Here's a fun little piece about poor Polidori for your reading enjoyment https://stephanieweber.medium.com/poor-polidori-the-toxic-relationship-that-inspired-the-first-vampire-story-7f41fcc99227. Here's a piece about the tragic life of Shelly's first wife Harriette https://lynnshepherdbooks.wordpress.com/2020/10/25/this-fatal-catastrophe-the-sad-life-and-strange-death-of-harriet-shelley/. A fun little British review of Gothic with some inset interviews from the actors and Ken Russell https://youtu.be/mgsoav-L7j0. Oh! And if you're 18 or older, we present Thomas Dolby's stylings in his song (anthem) "The Devil is an Englishman" https://youtu.be/VuEk0h5nBAc. Link to Greg Olear on Sunstack article on Shelley https://gregolear.substack.com/p/sunday-pages-the-masque-of-anarchy?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&utm_source=direct A very entertaining article from NCSE “Vermicelli and Vorticella” on the subject of Mary Shelley, Erasmus Darwin, pasta, and worms. https://ncse.ngo/vermicelli-and-vorticella

Richard Skipper Celebrates
Richard Skipper Celebrates Tamela D'Amico 9/29/2022

Richard Skipper Celebrates

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 29, 2022 60:00


For Video Edition, Please Click and Subscribe Here: https://youtu.be/d7hW32Gfqck Tamela D'Amico honed her skills as an actress in television, film and theater, which she states has afforded her writing and directing skills as a storyteller. After spending the last two years filming the Indian/American drama One Little Finger in India, a film in which she stars as the lead, and promotes the theme “Ability in Disability” for having employed over 80 disabled actors, she returned from the Cannes Film Festival where the film premiered. One Little Finger, directed by Rupam Sarmah is now officially released on Amazon and all streaming platforms. She gained traction in social media after she recurred on the hit Disney + show Best Friends Whenever, as nemesis Janet Smythe, playing the younger counterpart to actress Nora Dunn (SNL). She can be seen in the feature films Walt Before Mickey with Thomas Ian Nicholas (American Pie) and Jon Heder (Napoleon Dynamite) about the life of Walt Disney and can be heard singing the Bond-esque theme song “Love and the Gun” in both English and Italian in the feature film Rob the Mob (Millennium Films/Lakeshore Records) directed by Raymond De Felitta (City Island, Madoff) both now streaming on NETFLIX. Also streaming on Amazon, she stars in the award winning series Englishman in L.A. with actors Cameron Moir (Non Stop) and Eddie Jemison (HUNG, Oceans 11, 12, 13) for which she was awarded “Outstanding Actress in a Comedy Web Series” by LA WEB FEST. Three upcoming independent films in post production: Quinn, Love is Not Love and 3 People I've Never Heard Of. Taking time to stay creative in quarantine, she wrote, produced, directed and acted in the Twilight Zone-esque pandemic short film shot on an iPhone 11 Pro entitled FEVER now on YouTube and touring film festivals.

The Naked Englishman Podcast
The Naked Englishman Podcast - NE3850

The Naked Englishman Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 29, 2022 21:47


How nature can find its way into the towns and cities.

The Naked Englishman Podcast
The Naked Englishman Podcast - NE3849

The Naked Englishman Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 28, 2022 16:57


Liz Truss wants more immigrants, is that right? Did I hear that right?

The Naked Englishman Podcast
The Naked Englishman Podcast - NE3848

The Naked Englishman Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 27, 2022 26:02


Watch out for scams. Where else can you ply your trade than YouTube?

The Naked Englishman Podcast
The Naked Englishman Podcast - NE3847

The Naked Englishman Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 26, 2022 15:01


Changes in the BE world and a wet morning to dream up stories in.

The Naked Englishman Podcast
The Naked Englishman Podcast - NE3846

The Naked Englishman Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 25, 2022 26:18


As daylight arrives, I think about lighting and a 1940s set and making videos.

Mere Mortals Book Reviews
Why Can People With Similar Tastes Have Differing Opinions On The Same Book?

Mere Mortals Book Reviews

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 25, 2022 24:28


We had a lot of people sending in messages (because I did a thing) and I also realised that I'm done with philosophy for a while.In September 2022 we covered 4 books on this channel (but I also threw in a cheeky small one just for this recap). I just noticed that it was a pretty diverse crowd with an Englishman-cum-Australian, French Algerian, American and a fanatic Japanese. That's a good bunch.I hope you have a fantastic day wherever you are in the world. Kyrin out!Timeline:(0:00) - Intro(0:35) - The Sound of Waves: Yukio Mishima(4:41) - On The Beach: Nevil Shute(6:58) - The Stranger: Albert Camus(8:59) - The Fire Next Time: James Baldwin(13:41) - Ego Is The Enemy: Ryan Holiday(15:17) - Boostagram Lounge(20:33) - October 2022(22:12) - Value For ValueConnect with Mere Mortals:Website: https://www.meremortalspodcast.com/Discord: https://discord.gg/jjfq9eGReUInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/meremortalspodcast/

The Naked Englishman Podcast
The Naked Englishman Podcast - NE3845

The Naked Englishman Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 24, 2022 27:25


A bit of a rant and about art and other nonsense.

The Naked Englishman Podcast
The Naked Englishman Podcast - NE3844

The Naked Englishman Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 23, 2022 23:13


There are many changes happening in this country and on my YouTube channels.

The Naked Englishman Podcast
The Naked Englishman Podcast - NE3843

The Naked Englishman Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 22, 2022 21:36


Julia and I in the garden talking about a future project and the mysterious Command Hand.

The Naked Englishman Podcast
The Nake Englishman Podcast - NE3842

The Naked Englishman Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 21, 2022 17:34


It is good to see the silent majority having permission to show their patriotism.

Arguing History
How Should We Remember Winston Churchill?

Arguing History

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 21, 2022 37:29


How should we remember the complicated figure of Winston Churchill? Was he (in the words of Prime Minister Harold Macmillan) "The greatest Englishman in history?" Or was Churchill at base (as a panel of Cambridge academics had it) a racist, white supremicist, and inveterate imperialist? Both? Neither? Something in between? Today we talk to Professor Jeremy Black about this controversial question.  Charles Coutinho, PH. D., Associate Fellow of the Royal Historical Society, received his doctorate from New York University. His area of specialization is 19th and 20th-century European, American diplomatic and political history. He has written for Chatham House's International Affairs, the Institute of Historical Research's Reviews in History and the University of Rouen's online periodical Cercles. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/arguing-history

New Books Network
How Should We Remember Winston Churchill?

New Books Network

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 21, 2022 37:29


How should we remember the complicated figure of Winston Churchill? Was he (in the words of Prime Minister Harold Macmillan) "The greatest Englishman in history?" Or was Churchill at base (as a panel of Cambridge academics had it) a racist, white supremicist, and inveterate imperialist? Both? Neither? Something in between? Today we talk to Professor Jeremy Black about this controversial question.  Charles Coutinho, PH. D., Associate Fellow of the Royal Historical Society, received his doctorate from New York University. His area of specialization is 19th and 20th-century European, American diplomatic and political history. He has written for Chatham House's International Affairs, the Institute of Historical Research's Reviews in History and the University of Rouen's online periodical Cercles. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://newbooksnetwork.supportingcast.fm/new-books-network

Transforma tu inglés profesional
28. The DANGERS of saying "I don't care"!

Transforma tu inglés profesional

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 20, 2022 27:23


Welcome to Episode 28 of the TRANSFORMA TU INGLÉS PROFESIONAL podcast! I'm your host Daniel Smith. Today I will be talking with Alastair, an AMAZING coach from my team, all about: Why the difference between "I don't care" and "I don't mind" is so fundamental. Why "I don't care" is often used incorrectly by Spanish speakers! Why Alastair has a strange tea drinking habit for an Englishman but he doesn't care! And why you should NEVER say "I don't care" to your boss. This podcast is aimed at helping you push your business English communication skills to the next level so that you can grow professionally and achieve your international career goals! WHEN YOU ARE READY YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN: COACHING 1 to 1: If you would like to take your professional communication skills to the next level we can organise 1 to 1 coaching that is specifically tailored to your needs and goals. If you are interested https://transforma-tu-ingles-profesional.captivate.fm/coaching (click HERE to discover the prices and methodology! ) BOOKS: ¡He publicado dos libros a través de Amazon y ambos tienen reseñas de 5 estrellas! Si estás interesado aquí están los enlaces: https://www.danielsmith.es/nb-478727.html (365 consejos para mejorar tu inglés) o https://www.danielsmith.es/nb-478727-293241.html (123 consejos para impresionar a tu jefe con tu inglés) CONTACT US: If you would like to give us some feedback whether positive or negative, we would LOVE to hear from you! Please send an email to: coach@danielsmith.es

The Naked Englishman Podcast
The Naked Englishman Podcast - NE3841

The Naked Englishman Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 20, 2022 25:40


Where is my phone leads to programme pitches for television.

The Naked Englishman Podcast
The Naked Englishman Podcast - NE3840

The Naked Englishman Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 19, 2022 27:08


It is the day of the Queen's state funeral. What to do?

Mr Spike's Bedtime Stories
Dracula's Guest, by Bram Stoker

Mr Spike's Bedtime Stories

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 18, 2022 30:30


Our narrator, an Englishman travelling through Germany from Munich on the last day of April is warned not to return late to his hotel. Despite this, the young man leaves his carriage at a crossroads to head in the direction of a mysterious abandoned village. Opening music for Mr. Spike's Bedtime Stories "The Bag" by Private Hell Productions https://soundcloud.com/privatehellproductions If you are enjoying these tales, please consider leaving a review on the listening platform of your choice.

The Naked Englishman Podcast
The Naked Englishman Podcast - NE3839

The Naked Englishman Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 18, 2022 22:18


A strange thought about the Queen and my grumpy state of being.

The Naked Englishman Podcast
The Naked Englishman Podcast - NE 3838

The Naked Englishman Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 17, 2022 31:10


What to do with the master bedroom and the studio space within?

Classic Streams: Old Time Retro Radio
Saturday Matinee: Have Gun Will Travel: The Englishman (01-11-1959)

Classic Streams: Old Time Retro Radio

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 17, 2022 25:08


Have Gun – Will Travel is an American Western series that was produced and originally broadcast by CBS on both television and radio from 1957 through 1963. The television version of the series starring Richard Boone was rated number three or number four in the Nielsen ratings every year of its first four seasons, and it is one of the few shows in television history to spawn a successful radio version. That radio series starring John Dehner debuted November 23, 1958, more than a year after the premiere of its televised counterpart. Production. Have Gun – Will Travel was created by Sam Rolfe and Herb Meadow and produced by Frank Pierson, Don Ingalls, Robert Sparks, and Julian Claman. Of the 225 episodes of the television series, 24 were written by Gene Roddenberry. Other major contributors included Bruce Geller, Harry Julian Fink, Don Brinkley, and Irving Wallace. Andrew V. McLaglen directed 101 episodes, and 28 were directed by series star Richard Boone. Premise. This series follows the adventures of a man calling himself "Paladin" (played by Richard Boone on television and voiced by John Dehner on radio), taking his name from that of the foremost knights in Charlemagne's court. He is a gentleman investigator/gunfighter who travels around the Old West working as a mercenary for people who hire him to solve their problems. Although Paladin charges steep fees to clients who can afford to hire him, typically $1000 per job, he provides his services for free to poor people who need his help. Like many Westerns, the television show was set in a time vaguely indicated to be some years after the American Civil War. The radio show announced the year of the story that followed in the opening of each episode. The season 5 television episode, "A Drop of Blood", gives the specific date of July 3, 1879. In the fourteenth and seventeenth ("Lazarus", March 6 and 7, 1875) episodes of season 5, it is 1875. Title. The title is a variation on a cliche used in personal advertisements in newspapers like The Times, indicating that the advertiser is ready for anything. It has been used this way from the early twentieth century. A trope common in theatrical advertising at the time was "Have tux, will travel" (originally from comedian Bob Hope in 1954), and CBS has claimed this was the specific inspiration for the writer Herb Meadow. The television show popularized the phrase in the 1950s and 1960s, and many variations have been used as titles for other works, including the 1958 science fiction novel Have Space Suit—Will Travel by Robert A. Heinlein.

The Naked Englishman Podcast
The Naked Englishman Podcast - NE3837

The Naked Englishman Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 16, 2022 25:06


Blimey, that video went well, didn't it?

London Walks
Today (September 17) in London History – St Paul’s Covent Garden & Pygmalion

London Walks

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 16, 2022 18:47


UK Column Podcasts
Eastern Approaches Podcast: “Every Estonian is a journalist"

UK Column Podcasts

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 16, 2022 34:11


Andrew Whyte, an Englishman who works for Estonia's public broadcaster ERR, describes how editorially free he is compared with staff at Western equivalents such as the BBC, outlines his host nation's concentration on style and presentation, and offers his perspective on life in a country absorbing a returning diaspora while increasingly at loggerheads with its neighbour, Russia.

Our American Stories
The Man Who Wouldn't Give in: The Story of Winston Churchill

Our American Stories

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 15, 2022 17:58


On this episode of Our American Stories, Winston Churchill is the only Englishman to be honored by having a United States Navy Ship named after him. He was also half American via his mother's side. English historian Andrew Roberts, author of Churchill: Walking With Destiny, tells the story of this remarkable leader. Support the show (https://www.ouramericanstories.com/donate)  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Naked Englishman Podcast
The Naked Englishman Podcast - NE3836

The Naked Englishman Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 15, 2022 20:56


Update on the woman with a car problem and it is the Battle of Britain day!

Blooms & Barnacles
A Fine Old Custom

Blooms & Barnacles

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 14, 2022 64:20


I'll tickle his catastrophe, believe you me!Topics include Ulysses tarot cards, incubism, the system of correspondences found in Ulysses, Martin Cunningham, Mr Power, Simon Dedalus, armstraps, caring for corpses, women's role in caring for the dead, hats as identities, economic incubism, Bloom's outsider status, Irish funeral customs, embalming, why Dignam's widow doesn't attend his funeral, keening, Rudy, 9 Newbridge Avenue, circulation and the heart, Dublin through a corpse-eye-view, funerals traveling through the center of town, Six Feet Under, an anonymous Englishman, kippers, Bloom as a defier of custom, fidus Achates, hat etiquette, Strumpet City, a wild Stephen appears, Latin Quarter hat, Richie Goulding, Bright's disease, Simon Dedalus' way with words, Ignatius Gallaher, “A Little Cloud,” the incubus of alcohol, Simon's hatred of Buck Mulligan, Elizabethan insults, and the Joyce family's connection to Clery's.Sweny's Patreon helps keep this marvelous Dublin landmark alive. Please subscribe!On the Blog:IncubismSocial MediaFacebook | TwitterSubscribe to Blooms & Barnacles:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Stitcher

The Naked Englishman Podcast
The Naked Englishman Podcast - NE3835

The Naked Englishman Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 14, 2022 19:07


Julia is selling her caravan and we filmed a small advert.

Bad Dads Film Review
Midweek Mention... The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Bad Dads Film Review

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 14, 2022 29:52


Garth Jennings's adaptation of THE HITCHHIKERS'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY starts much like the source material, when the Earth is unexpectedly demolished to make way for a hyperspace bypass, before veering off on a contrived and underwritten love triangle which makes this 2005 sci-fi comedy only moderately successful. Hapless Arthur Dent (Martin Freeman) and his friend, the experienced galactic journalist Ford Prefect (Mos Def), find themselves aboard a stolen spaceship piloted by two-headed Galactic President Zaphod Beeblebrox (Sam Rockwell), depressed robot Marvin (Alan Rickman, and Trillian (Zooey Deschanel), the only other survivor of Earth's destruction.Whilst some of the surreal humour and wit of Douglas Adams's original creation remains intact in glimpses, we're never made to feel the tragedy or sadness of Arthur's situation which was a key element of the books, and a plot which takes a long time to ago anywhere never really does. Freeman's Englishman everyman routine is perfectly suited, Mos Def is a surprisingly good alien but unfortunately Zooey Deschanel is awful and her character is thinly sketched at best.

The Naked Englishman Podcast
The Naked Englishman Podcast - NE3834

The Naked Englishman Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 13, 2022 25:58


Weird phones and weird viewers - tongue in cheek rant this morning.

The Naked Englishman Podcast
The Naked Englishman Podcast - NE3833

The Naked Englishman Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 12, 2022 22:11


Writing is a brilliant way to crystallize your thoughts.

The Naked Englishman Podcast
The Naked Englishman Podcast - NE3832

The Naked Englishman Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 11, 2022 26:16


Knowing you are not making something good is good to know. But knowing something you thought was good but wasn't, is hard to comprehend.

The Naked Englishman Podcast
The Naked Englishman Podcast - NE3831

The Naked Englishman Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 10, 2022 35:16


England has lost its respect. Why do we let the corporates and elites dictate how we should behave?

The Naked Englishman Podcast
The Naked Englishman Podcast - NE3830

The Naked Englishman Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 9, 2022 23:45


The morning after the very sad news.

The Naked Englishman Podcast
The Naked Englishman Podcast - NE3828

The Naked Englishman Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 7, 2022 18:11


Can LED lights be used as an alternative to film lights?

The Naked Englishman Podcast
The Naked Englishman Podcast - NE3827

The Naked Englishman Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 6, 2022 16:55


Working out how to take the Richard and Julia format on after the boat trip videos.

The Naked Englishman Podcast
The Naked Englishman Podcast - NE3826

The Naked Englishman Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 5, 2022 27:39


I was given an inspirational book the other day and have enjoyed reading it.

Kings and Generals: History for our Future
3.12 Fall and Rise of China: West meets East

Kings and Generals: History for our Future

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 5, 2022 67:04


Last time we spoke, the Qing dynasty had enjoyed the first half of the 18th century with relative ease and prosperity, however the end half and emergence of the 19th century would not be so fruitful. The White Lotus Rebellion of 1794-1804 took root during one of the most corrupt ridden times in Chinese history. One of China's most corrupt figures and one of the richest men in history, Heshen was executed by the new Jiaqing Emperor. Then the Jiaqing Emperor had to quell the White Lotus menace which cost the empire a possible 100 million taels of silver. Despite being successful, the White Lotus rebellion would spread a seed of destruction for the Qing dynasty that would grow overtime and bloom into multiple revolts and rebellions. Now we look to another aspect of China during the early 19th century, its struggle against the looming threat of western greed.    This episode is the A West meets East story   Welcome to the Fall and Rise of China Podcast, I am your dutiful host Craig Watson. But, before we start I want to also remind you this podcast is only made possible through the efforts of Kings and Generals over at Youtube. Perhaps you want to learn more about the history of Asia? Kings and Generals have an assortment of episodes on the history of asia and much more  so go give them a look over on Youtube. So please subscribe to Kings and Generals over at Youtube and to continue helping us produce this content please check out www.patreon.com/kingsandgenerals. If you are still hungry for some more history related content, over on my channel, the Pacific War Channel where I cover the history of China and Japan from the 19th century until the end of the Pacific War.   #11 The West meets East failure   Now while the last podcast highlighted the corruption of Heshen and his long lasting effect on the Qing dynasty during the late half of the 18th century, I intentionally avoided speaking about something. That something was the envoys sent by Britain to China to open up trade relations. The rationale was that I wanted to highlight why the White Lotus came to be and the British envoy stories would have derailed it, but in actuality, the corruption, White Lotus rebellion and British envoys all simultaneously play a very important role in the downfall of the Qing Dynasty. So let us go back in time a bit to begin what is quite honestly the emergence of one of the largest drug cartel stories of all time.    Lord George Macartney was a well seasoned diplomat with an extensive resume and a reputation for getting things done. He had that classic story of being raised in poverty, but rising to the top. He began his career as a barrister in England before entering the foreign service. He was no aristocrat, came from no significant family, thus earned his way through merit. His skills and intellect eventually landed him the appointment as an envoy to the Qing Dynasty to establish a British embassy in China. Up to this point in his life, everything he did was a success, but China would prove to be a hard nut to crack. In 1764 Macartney was knighted at the young age of 27 and sent as an envoy to russia. It was a rather scandalous rumor that he was sent as the envoy not merely for his skills and intellect, but because of his good looks as it was believed it would sway the Empress, Catherine the Great to the interests of Britain. After 3 years in Russia, Sir Macartney returned with the Empress's good affection, symbolized in a gem-studded snuff box. This bolstered Macartney into the social circles of the elites and by 1767 he was elected to Parliament and soon appointed the Chief Secretary of Ireland. After some years of service within the United Kingdom, Macartney sought out more adventure and took up a post as governor of the Caribbean Islands in the West Indies. He was soon awarded with the title of Bron and in 1780 received the appointment as governor of Madras India. He worked that office 6 years and became a viscount. Then in 1793 he sailed for one of the most illusive and exotic lands, that of China.   Viscount Macartney was given a simple orders from George III: establish a British embassy in the capital and get permission for British ships to dock at ports besides Canton. Now you might be asking, whats the problem with Canton? Nothing, except for foreign barbarians it was the only port of access for all of China at this time. For those who have never heard of this, the Canton System which began in 1757 was a trade system of the Qing dynasty. The Qianlong Emperor faced numerous problems when he inherited the empire, one being the threat of foreign trade. While trade obviously is a beneficial thing, it can sometimes cause harm, as such the Qing dynasty had some worries about trade with foreign lands. For one thing, the intrusion of missionaries had caused some pretty brutal conflicts in China. After this Emperor Qianlong ordered his court to make some changes to foreign trade to thus stop more conflicts from occurring. He bottled necked all foreign trade to go through Canton and they were to deal exclusively with a group known as the Cohong merchants. The Cohong were granted a monopoly over the foreign trade, but were also the primary representative link between the Qing government and the outside world. There were strings attached of course, the Cohong merchants were to take on full responsibility for any foreign persons connected with a foreign ship that did trade. The Cohong were of course expected to pay taxes to the Qing government for all the trade being done, but by far and large they were able to control how they would levy such taxes. A perfect recipe for corruption.    A event occured known as the Flint Affair, a situation in which a Englishman named James Flint serving the East India Company was repeatedly warned to remain in Canton, but in 1755 he went against the Qing administrative warnings and tried to establish trade in some ports in Zhejiang. He was caught and deported to Macau where he was imprisoned for a few years. The situation prompted Emperor Qianlong to enact 5 measures against the foreign barbarians who wished to trade. 1) Trade by foreign barbarians in Canton is prohibited during the winter. 2) Foreign barbarians coming to the city must reside in the foreign factories under the supervision and control of the Cohong. 3) Chinese citizens are barred from borrowing capital from foreign barbarians and from employment by them. 4) Chinese citizens must not attempt to gain information on the current market situation from foreign barbarians 5) Inbound foreign barbarian vessels must anchor in the Whampoa Roads and await inspection by the authorities   Trade with China was beginning to really boom, but it was being frustrated into the bottleneck of Canton. The British were very eager to open up more trade with China and Macartney had instructions to offer something to the Chinese to open up trade. He could offer to end the importation of opium from British held India, something that was officially illegal in the Qing dynasty, but in reality the Qing could not stop the illicit smuggling of it into China.    On the morning of september 26, 1792 the HMS Lion a 64 gun ship of the line, cast off for China. When Macarney landed on the coast of China, all of his retinue and baggage were transferred to Chinese junks by the order of Emperor Qianlong before he was allowed to travel up the Bei He River enroute for Peking. His ship had a large sign tacked to its mast by the Qing officials with large black letters reading “tribute from the red barbarians”. Remember at this time in history, China was basically the pinnacle of civilization at least from its viewpoint. China had felt superior to the rest of the world for quite some time. Gunpowder, paper currency, eyeglasses and the printing press all were developed in China long before the west had acquired such things. As such the emperor of China did not receive ambassadors per say, as exchanging emissaries would denote equal rank amongst nations, for which China had no equal. Those who did come as emissaries were treated as tribute bearers and identified as foreign barbarians. From the perspective of the Chinese, foreign barbarians did not come to negotiate or make dealings, they came as subjects to pay homage and tribute.    Macartney believed he was bringing gifts from one sovereign nation to another, but the Qing considered him to be a vassal paying tribute. The gifts he brought were the best of British technology: telescopes, brass howitzers, globes, clocks, musical instruments and an entire hot air balloon complete with a balloonist. That one always puzzled me by the way, did that mean the balloonist was just going to be some sort of lifetime servant? In all Macartney brought over 600 gifts for Emperor Qianlong and this all required an astonishing 99 wagons, 40 wheelbarrows drawn by over 200 horses and 3000 people. Macartney was instructed to display the gifts at the Emperor's summer palace before he would be given any chance at seeing Emperor Qianlong. The Qing court apparently were not that impressed with most of the gifts, though they did admire the wood pottery and were particularly interested when Macartney ignited sulfur matches. Unfortunately the hot air balloon never got a chance to take off. The viceroy of Pechili told Macartney that he would not be meeting the emperor in his palace, but in a yurt outside the Imperial hunting lodge in Rehe of the tartary lands. They would pass through the great wall and Macartney was astonished by it stating it to be “the most stupendous work of human hands, probably greater in extent than all of the other forts in the world put together. Its construction was a sign of not only a very powerful empire, but a very wise and virtuous nation”. They traveled into Manchuria until they reached the Emperor's summer quarters on september 8th. The journey had nearly taken a year since they departed England in 1792 and the success or failure of the embassy would be decided in the matter of just mere days. They stopped a mile from the imperial summer residence to make themselves presentable.    Macartney had prepared a colorful and grandiose outfit for the occasion as described by his valet “A suite of spotted mulberry velvet, with a diamond star, and his ribbon, over which he wore the full habit of the order of the Bath, with the hat and the plume of feathers, which form a part of it”. So try to imagine a man dressed up like a peacock, certainly it was going to leave an impression, which is what he wanted. The entourage formed a makeshift parade formation with as much British pomp that could be mustered. The British soldiers and cavalry led the way on foot followed by servants, musicians, scientists and other gentry. The parade arrived at 10am to their designated quarters, with no one at all to greet them. Macartney was bewildered, he had expected this famed Manchu man named Heshen to meet them. However Heshen was nowhere to be found, Macartney deduced he must be delayed for some reason and so they all simply waited. 6 hours passed by as they all stood there in formation waiting with no sign of an imperial official, thus they lost heart and went into the assigned residence to eat. In the end Macartney was forced to go find Heshen himself, quite an uncomfortable start to the venture. Over the course of several days the mountain of British gifts were exchanged. They presented things such as rugs to the Emperors representatives and in turn were given luxurious fabrics such as silk, jade, porcelain, lacquerware and large quantities of the finest tea, oh tea will play quite a role in all of this rest assured. The British tried to awe them with the products of their science, but soon were realizing something was not right.    You see this entire process was confused. For the British they were trying to impress the Chinese to gain the ability to negotiate for more advantageous policies in the future, IE: gain the approval to open a permanent embassy in the capital. But for the Chinese the situation was literally just trade, they were trading goods they assumed the British would want to take home and sell. Nations like Vietnam and Korea would regularly come to pay tribute to the emperor for his approval which legitimized their governments. They came and performed the famous “kow tow” before the Emperor. For those who don't know the “kow tow” is a ritual of 9 kneeling bows to the ground in 3 sets of 3 in the direction of the emperor. The envoys from places like Vietnam or Korea did this readily as their nations were official tributaries to China and thus the Emperor was the overarching figure for their nations as well as their own emperors. But when Macartney showed up he knew nothing of this entire process. Initially Macartney did not even realize he was supposed to prostrate himself before emperor and when this was explained to him he was unwilling to do it. Because despite the great admiration he had for the Qing Empire, he thought he was an envoy between 2 equal and sovereign nations, he assumed the King of England was on equal footing with Emperor Qianlong. Macartney had never done anything like the kow tow for his own king why should he for a foreign king?   So Macartney expected what he considered a mere ceremony to be waved off and submitted a request for that to be so, which he alleged later he received approval for. But when he arrived at Jehol, Heshen denied ever seeing this request and insisted Macartney must perform the kow two before the emperor. Qing officials at the scene assured Macartney that it was just “a mere exterior and unmeaning ceremony” urging him on. Things began to get messy, Macartney said he would kow tow readily if a Qing official would do the same before a portrait he had brought of King George III. No Qing official would do it, so Macartney tried to compromise, what if he simply bent the knee and head once before Emperor Qianlong. To Mccartneys relief the proposal was accepted. A few more days went by, then on September 14th he was informed he could meet the emperor.   Macartney got into his peacock suit and his entourage marched behind Macartney who was carried on a litter until they made it to the Emperor's ceremonial tent. Macartney entered, carrying a jeweled encrusted golden box containing a letter from King George III. In his own account, Macartney stated he knelt on one knee as agreed and presented the emperor the box and the emperor did not seem in the slightest to have made any commotion about the ritual not being performed. Macartney said “Emperor Qianlong's eyes were full and clear and his countenance was open, despite the dark and gloomy demeanor we had expected to find”. Do not forget as I mentioned in the previous episode, at this point in time the Emperor was its pretty safe to say, very senile. The letter from George III was translated into Chinese carefully by European missionaries who made sure to take out any potentially offensive references, like for example anything about chrisianity. The letter spoke about how Emperor Qianlong “should live and rule for 10s of thousands of years and the word China was elevated one line above the rest of the text whenever it appeared and the name of the emperor was elevated 3 lines above the rest. The letters translation thus had been done in such a way it really did not conform to the letter between 2 equals anymore. Meanwhile while Emperor Qianlong read this, Macartney was simply awed by the tent they were in. In his words “the tapestries, carpets and rich draperies and lanterns were disposed with such harmony, the colors so artfully varied. It was as if he was inside a painting. The commanding feature of the ceremony was the calm dignity that sober pomp of asiatic greatness, which European refinements have not yet attained”. Macartney also went on to mention that he was also not the only envoy present in the tent. There were 6 Muslim enovys from tributary states near the Caspian sea an a Hindu envoy from Burma and they had allow performed the kow tow.    Emperor Qianlong asked Heshen if any of the English could speak Chinese and the son of British diplomat George Staunton stepped forward. The 12 year old boy named George stepped towards the throne and according to his diary “I spoke some Chinese words to him and thanked him for the presents”. Emperor Qianlong was apparently charmed by this and took a purse from his own waist to give to him as a token of his esteem. That little boy became the first Englishman after James Flint to cross the wall of language between Britain and China and it would shape his life after. After the meeting, Macartney and his entourage were allowed to stay in Jehol for a few days and were fortunate enough to partake in the emperor's birthday banquet. On September 21st, disaster struck when a member of Macartney's entourage died, a gunner named Reid. It was the day before their departure date and apparently Reid had eaten 40 apples for breakfast, which I have to say is one of the most bizarre rationales for a death I've ever heard. Regardless, the Qing assumed off the bat the man died of some contagious disease and urged them all to leave with haste.    Meanwhile in Peking, the Balloonist/scientist Mr Dinwiddie had been busy prepared all the scientific instruments for demonstrations awaiting Emperor Qianlong's return from Jehol at the end of september. He had begun filling a grand hall of the imperial palace outside the city of Beijing with globes, clocks, telescopes, the air pump for the balloon and such. He had signed a contract basically stating he could never return home and would be stuck as a foreigner in a small part of Beijing. Regardless he got everything ready for the emperor's visit. When the emperor came on October the 1st he showed no particular emotion as he toured the hall according to Dinwiddie. Upon looking through a telescope for roughly 2 minutes the emperor alleged stated “it was good enough to amuse children” and simply left. Heshen and other Qing officials came to see the wonders and showed a bit more interest. Unfortunately the hot air balloon demonstration was to be the grand finale in the course of a few days but never came to fruition, because all of a sudden on October the 6th the Emperor ordered all the British to leave. Everything was hastily packed up and every man by October 7th was being pushed out as the embassy mission was sent away from Peking. Once on the road out of Peking it dawned upon them all the embassy mission was a failure. As one British servant put it “we entered Peking like paupers; we remained in it like prisoners; and we quitted it like vagrants”.    Macartney had no idea how much he had offended the emperor with his negotiations. Back on september 10th, 4 days before they met the Emperor, Qianlong was always fuming mad about the English ambassadors dragging of the feet about the kow tow. In fact at that time Emperor Qianlong simply told his officials he would keep the promise to have the meetings, but as far as he was concerned they best be gone afterwards. Qianlong prior had planned to have them stay a long time to enjoy the sights of Jehol but “given the presumption and self important display by the English ambassador, they should be sent from Jehol immediately after the banquet, given 2 days to get to Peking to pack up their belongs and go. When foreigners who come seeking audience with me are sincere and submissive then I always treat them with kindness. But if they come in arrogance they get nothing”. On October 3rd, just a few days before they were ordered out, Macartney received the official response to King George III's letter, unfortunately it was in Chinese and he was unable to translate it for some time. It stated that the request for the British ambassador to remain at the capital was not consistent with the customs of the empire and therefore could not be allowed. And here is the kicker in regards to trade and the gifts he said “I accepted the gifts not because I wanted them, but merely, as tokens of your own affectionate regard for me. In truth the greatness and splendor of the Chinese empire have spread its fame far and wide, and as foreign nations, from a thousand parts of the world, crowd hither over mountains and seas, to pay us their homage and bring us the rarest and most precious offerings, what is it that we can want here? Strange and costly objects do not interest me. We possess all things. I set no value on objects strange or ingenious, and have no use for your countries manufactures”. Oomphf there was a second little part after that went “we have never needed trade with foreign countries to give us anything we lacked. Tea, porcelain and silk are essential needs for countries like England that do not have such things and out of grace the dynasty had long permitted foreign merchants to come to Canton to purchase these goods. To satisfy your needs and to allow you to benefit from our surplus. England is but one of many countries that comes to trade in Canton and if we were to give Britain special treatment, then we would have to give it to all the others as well”.   Macartney was furious and wrote extensively enroute back home. “Can they be ignorant, that a couple of English frigates would be an overmatch for the whole naval force of their empire, that in half a summer they could totally destroy the navigation of their coasts and reduce the inhabitants of the maritime provinces, who subsist chiefly on fish, to absolute famine? We could destroy the Tiger's mouth forts guarding the river passage to Canton with just half a dozen boardsides and annihilate the Canton trade that employs millions of Chinese”. Yet despite all his military bravado talk, if Britain were at this time to make any aggression against China it would immediately result in them shutting down their trade. If that was allowed to happen both the economies of Britain and British held India would suffer tremendous economic damage. Thus Macartney knew the best course of action was to be patient and try try and try again.   So the Macartney mission ended in embarrassment. Macartney would tell those back in Britain “The empire of China is an old crazy first-rate man of war, which a fortunate succession of able and vigilant offers has contrived to keep afloat for these hundred and fifty years past; and to overawe their neighbors, merely by her bulk and appearance. She may perhaps not sink outright, she may drift some time as a wreck, and will then be dashed in pieces on the shore; but she can never be rebuilt on the old bottom”. Very dark and ominous words indeed. Prior to Macartney's report those had this perception of China to be the model of stable and virtuous government. But Macartney ranted that “the tyranny of a handful of Tartars over more than 300 millions of Chinese. And those Chinese subjects would not suffer the odium of a foreign yoke for much longer. A revolution was coming”. Macartney would elaborate further on what he believed to be the socio-political situation in China. “I often perceived the ground to be hollow under a vast superstructure and in trees of the most stately and flourishing appearance I discovered symptoms of speedy decay. The huge population of Han Chinese were just recovering blows that had stunned them they are awaking from the political stupor they had been thrown into by the Tartar impression, and begin to feel their native energie revive. A slight collision might elicit fire from the flint, and spread the flames of revolt from one extremity of China to the other. I should not be surprised if its dislocation or dismemberment were to take place before my own dissolution”. Please take note this is all coming from a bitterly anger man who, yes traveled the country for months, but he had not seen the interior of China. He could not speak or read the language and knew nothing of the culture. And yet he was almost 100% prophetic in what would occur.    Now as I went into with the past episode, the Qianlong Emperor was very old and going senile. When Macartney met with him, Qianlong had just turned 82 and had ruled for over 58 years an incredible reign. And despite the show the emperor had put on about never needing western trade, in reality he was deeply fascinated by western inventions. He cherished his collection of 70 British clocks and wrote poems about them and about western telescopes. Likewise he kept multiple western art pieces and employed many westerners in his court. Above all else he understood the value of China's foreign trade at Canton, because a significant portion of the tariff income fed his imperial household. The canton trade was also a primary source of silver import of which China was the largest importer of silver since the 1600s. Foreigners came and were forced to trade with silver if they wanted tea or porcelain. Tea, Tea is the crucial component of this story.   In 1664 King Charles II received 2 lbs of black, strange smelling leaves from China. Less than half a century later, tea became Britain's beverage of choice with an annual consumption of 12 million pounds per year. By 1785, Britain was importing 15 million lbs of tea per year from China. The people of Britain were literally addicted China's tea, which might I add is a mild stimulant. More so the British government became economically dependent on tea and the Exchequer levied a 100 percent import tax upon it whoa. Although China purchased some British goods like clocks, it was nothing compared to the British need for tea. Between 1710 to 1759 the imbalance of trade was enormous, literally draining Britain of its silver, because that was after all the only form of payment China accepted. During this time, Britain paid 26 million in silver to China, but sold only 9 million in goods.    Now lets talk a bit more about how this trade was being down in Canton. It was the East India Company who was given a monopoly over the tea trade in China. I mentioned the Cohong or sometimes called simply Hong merchants. They were directly in charge of the Canton trade, holding a monopoly over it. All western trade had to come through them, if you were a foreign ship, your cargo had to be guaranteed by a Hong merchant before it could sail up river to port Canton. Only a Hong merchant could rent you a warehouse or arrange for you any and all purchases for tea, silk and such. Personal relationships were thus key and having a friendship with any Hong merchant was immensely valuable. Hong merchants were accountable for the conduct of all foreing personnel. If some foreigner got drunk and beat up a local, the Hong merchant was held responsible, and this did in fact happen often. The Hong merchants were a small group, typically no more than a dozen any given time. As you can imagine with such a small group controlling the full trade between China and western nations, the opportunities for both sides merchants to become abundantly rich was enormous. However there was a ton of risk for the Hong since they took all the risk. Regardless the Hong merchants were some of the richest men in China, but they also went bankrupt regularly. Why was this, well because of their access to capital it made them primary targets for other government officials to squeeze.    You see despite their monopoly on the trade, the Hong merchants were almost always in a precarious situation. Their appointment and finance was done via the Hoppo. Also the social status of merchants within traditional confucianism was very low and the Hong merchants were at the mercy of other Qing officials. This led the Hong merchants to be forced to pay numerous bribes to said officials. More often than naught to get an appointment as a Hong came with a literal downpayment for the officials who got you the job! The Hong merchants were squeezed left right and center by countless officials in a pecking system built upon corruption and greed.    The senior superintendent of foreign trade at Canton was a Imperial customs commissioner known to the westerners as the “hoppo”. The hoppo reported directly to the board of revenue in Beijing and it was the Hoppo who was responsible for ensuring a proper flow of tariff income back to Beijing. The position of Hoppo was one of the greatest opportunities to get filthy rich.   Before the White Lotus rebellion the Qing silver surplus was a whopping 70 million taels, but over the course of the war it is estimated the Qing treasury would pay something like 100 million taels in silver. Then came another disaster.    The Napoleonic wars had a tremendous impact on the world, not limited to just the war itself. As the war grinding on, Britain was pressed for funds to finance its war against France and this led them to squeeze the East India Company harder. The British government began raising its tax on the company's tea in 1795, then again in 1802 where it reached 50%, then again in 1806 to a whopping 96% and by 1819 it would be 100%. The growing British tax on the company's tea led it to become a possible 1/10th of Britain's national revenue. As you can imagine with those numbers, the importance of maintaining the trade with Canton became a matter of national interest.    While the Qing dynasty spent millions of taels mobilizing armies to quell the white lotus rebellion, the British likewise spent millions during its war against france. Britain would spend around 12 times more than its previous 22 year war with France and ran up a monstrous national debt. By the time Napoleon was defeated, Britain had doubled the size of the royal navy and it was the most powerful maritime force in the world. Britain acquired more territories to expand its enormous empire. By 1820 the British Empire would control roughly a quarter of the world's population, almost rivaling China. The emperor of China, Jiaqing was forced to slash the budgets of things such as the military after the internal rebellion was over. In expectation for an era of peace for the empire, the emperor effectively had to mortgage the future improvement of China's military to simply stabilize the country.   Now Britain's tea fix needed to be met, but its silver was depleted. The Napoleonic war and the American revolution had drained Britain of its silver reserve, how was Britain going to get the tea? The British needed to find something the Chinese were willing to pay for in silver and the British would find what that in Opium. The British were not the first importers of Opium into China. Arab merchants had been selling opium cultivated in what is modern day turkey since the middle ages. It was primarily used for medicinal purposes, such as being used as a constipation drug to stop diarrhea, quite a useful thing to have to fight off dysentery which reeks its ugly head during times of conflict. In 1659 the East India Company began to export it in limited quantities from Bengal India. The East India Company had a monopoly over the trade with India and tried to prevent the business of opium importing to China since it was illegal and could interfere with the company's legitimate trade. However to get tea required silver and when the silver began to dry up the East India Company's tolerance for the illicit business began to loosen.    In 1782 the East India Company turned its eyes away and allowed the export of 3450 chests of opium. Each chest for reference weighed around 170 lbs, about the size of a small footlocker. 2 ships carried the illegal cargo and enroute 1 of them was captured by the French with the other arrived in Macao. The Chinese merchants refused to purchase the illegal contraband until the price was dropped to 210$ per chest. To break even the British needed to sell a chest at around 500$, it was a complete disaster. The British merchants ended up dumping most of their cargo at a loss in Malaysia for a price of around 340$. There were no eager buyers for opium in China in 1782 and this showcases the lack of users or better said addicts. Nonetheless the Qing government made a decree in 1799 condemning the illicit trade “foreigners obviously derive the most solid profits and advantages, but that our countrymen should pursue this destructive and ensnaring vice is indeed odious and deplorable”. The East India Company proclaimed it was forbidding British ships to carry the illicit cargo, because remember they had to make sure the Canton market remained open to britain. Yet this did not stop the East India company from selling opium within India to independent British and Indian merchants who in turn might smuggle the drugs into China. Its not the East India company after all and the company could see no other way to acquire silver to buy the tea Britain needed.    In 1773 opium earned the company 39,000 pounds, in 1793 opium earned them 250,000 pounds. The idea was working and the trade imbalance was soon shifting. By 1806 to 1809 China would pay out 7 million in silver for opium. During the first 2 decades of the 19th century opium addiction grew in China at a slow pace. The East India Company kept the price of the illicit substance artificially high, which meant only the upper class in China could afford it. The East India Company was doing its best not to antagonize the Qing government, IE: not rubbing their nose in the illicit trade, thus it did not increase imports and lower prices. Around 5000 chests were being sold per year and this stabilized the trade imbalance between Britain and China, no longer was Britain simply losing its silver to China, nor was China being depleted dry.    Then a technological innovation in Britain completely shattered the equilibrium. The invention of the steam engine in the previous century resulted in the mechanized production of cotton. Soon England had flooded the market with mass produced textiles and the surplus of this found its way to a very eager Indian market. Those merchants paid for the product in cash, but how do you think they got the cash? Bingo opium cultivation and with it the need to sell more of it. So as a result more and more opium began to flood into China, but it still had to go through the bottleneck of Canton.    Problems began to occur which affected the Canton trade. The Napoleonic wars began to send ripples throughout the world and one place that was affected was Macao in 1808. The British in Canton heard rumors that France was sending troops to occupy Macao. The British wanted to preemptively respond and sent a naval fleet under Rear Admiral William Drury in September of 1808. Drury sent a letter informing the Portuguese governor at Macao that he intended to occupy the city to which the governor refused him and began to appeal to the Chinese governor general for protection. On september 21st Drury landing 300 marines who quickly seized the shore batteries at Macao with no resistance being made by the Portuguese. However the Chinese governor general ordered a shutdown of the British trade in Canton, uh oh. The East India company had to pull full cargo ships out immediately and abandon their factory in Canton. Drury in response brought an additional 700 marines from India to occupy Macao. The Chinese governor general warned Drury if they did not withdraw, the fleet and all British residents in Macao would be cut off from food supplies. Drury panicked, he had not intended to start a war, nor were his orders remotely authorized to do so!   When Emperor Jiaqing got news of the British invasion of Macao he was furious to say the least. Emperor Jiaqing issued an edict to the governor general in Canton “such a brutal eruption at Macao indicates an affrontery without limit. To invoke such a pretext is to freely insult the Chinese Empire. It is important in any case to raise considerable troops, attack the foreigners, and exterminate them. In this way, they will understand that the seas of China are forbidden to them!”. So the governor general ordered 8000 troops at Canton to man the coastal forts in the vicinity in preparation for war. Drury got the news of this and knew the Canton trade could be shut off for good stating “it would exclude the English forever, from the most advantageous monopoly it possesses in the Universe”. So Admiral Drury backed down, refusing to risk war with China. Drury took the marines out, but left some ships in the hope trade in Canton would soon be restored. And thus 6 days later the Qing governor general restored trade in Canton, phew crisis averted.   Another rather unusual conflict occured when a British christian missionary named Thomas Manning attempted to enter into China by land. Manning had tried asking the Hoppo for permission to visit Beijing as a scientist envoy but it was refused as the Emperor had plenty of western scientists at his disposal. The frustrated Manning then began to climb aboard East India company ships going around Vietnam, to see if he could find a way to sneak into China via Vietnam roads. This did not pan out so he struck out at another place to get into China, Tibet. Manning went to Tibet pretending to be a Buddhist lama from India and would you believe it he got an audience with the Dalai Lama on december 17 of 1811. He climbed hundreds of steps and met with the Dalai Lama whom he described “His face was, I thought, poetically and effectively beautiful. He was of a gay and cheerful disposition; his beautiful mouth perpetually unbending into a graceful smile, which illuminated his whole countenance. Sometimes, particularly when he had looked at me, his smile almost approached a gentle laugh”. After meeting the Dalai Lama, Manning hoped to be granted permission to make the 1500 mile journey to Beijing, but this would not occur. In the holy city of Lhasa he was apprehended by the local Qing officials and quasi imprisoned until Emperor Jiaqing could be informed and send orders as to what to do. Orders finally came in February of 1812 to deport Manning and raise border security in response to this incursion.    Then in 1813 problems reeked their ugly head yet again for British-Chinese relations. The Emperor had reduced the number of Hong merchants that the British were allowed to do business with. The larger issue at hand was the War of 1812 which brought with it conflict between Britain and American ships around the waters of Canton. At this time the Americans were second only to the British in the size of their commerce in Canton. The US lacked cruisers to convoy their merchant ships and thus began arming the merchants ships into privateers. The US ships also tried to simply avoid the British by not landing at the same time intervals, but all of this would not avoid conflict. In march of 1814 the British frigate Doris captured a 300 ton American privateer, the USS Hunter and took her to Macao as a prize. 2 months later the Doris hunted down the USS Russel up the Pearl River near the Whampia anchorage just a few miles shy of Whampoa city. They fired upon another while another US ships the Sphynx was boarded and captured. More raids continued from both sides and the conflict greatly angered the Chinese authorities. Eventually the Qing governor general cut off supplies and suspended trade with both nations demanding they behave themselves.    The British merchants in Canton complained they had nothing to do with the Royal Navy, but the Chinese authorities would not hear it. Some minor conflicts occured in Canton and the British felt they had been wronged. The East India Company began to demand the British government send an embassy to remedy the entire situation. So Britain answered the plea and sent another embassy mission in 1816. Lord William Pitt Amherst, Earl Amherst of Arracan was born in 1773 in Bath. His father was General William Amherst and his uncle was Field Marshall Sir Jeffrey Amherst who had a distinguished military career including being the governor general of British north America after defeating Nouvelle France in 1760. Little Williams mother died and the widowed father would take care of William and his sister for awhile until in 1781 when he also died. William would end up living with his uncle in the Amherst estate in Montreal where I happen to live near. William would eventually go to oxford and became an accomplished linguist learning several languages. Eventually he landed a job as ambassador to Sicily and by the end of the Napleonic wars he was made a Privy Councillor. He proved to be able enough and was soon sent as Ambassador with Plenipotentiary to negotiate with the Qing Dynasty in 1816.    The China Amherst encountered in 1816 was very different compared to the one Lord Macrtney had visited. The Emperor was Jiaqing, the dynasty had quelled the White Lotus Rebellion, quite a few smaller revolts and had a real problem with pirates along the coast. Emperor Jiaqing had a loose hold over the empire and was not about to let some foreign power further threaten it.    Amherst was a bit of an odd choice to lead the mission. He was considered a dull, but well mannered man who was not very talented in public speaking. Neither brilliant nor particularly handsome, just hailed from an excellent family. Amherst brought with him 2 familiar faces, the former little boy who had courageously spoken to Emperor Qianlong, George Staunton, who was now an adult. George had been working for the East India Company in Canton and had mastered the Chinese language and learnt much of its culture. The second ws Thomas Manning after his great Tibet adventure. Amherst's departure would be 6 months after the Duke of Wellington's victory at Waterloo in June of 1815. Thus Amherst would be coming to China to inform them that the nearly continuous warfare between Britain and France for the past 22 years had finally come to an end. Amherst was instructed to make it clear to the Chinese that Great Britain was now the unrivaled dominant military power in Europe. The Amherst mission also was to remedy the Canton situation, but the perspective from Britain was quite off. They thought Emperor Jiaqing knew relatively not much about the ongoings in places like Canton, and if they simply came and complained about mistreatment that he would just offhand discipline the officials in Canton and place the British in a better position.The Emperor however was hardly oblivious to the ongoings in Canton, in fact he was paying a ton of attention to it. The Emperor had ordered investigation into the Canton situation over the past few years Emperor Jiaqing was particularly taking an interest into George Staunton who he viewed as a potential trouble maker in China, because the man had vast knowledge now of the language and culture and might induce more westerners to do the same. For certain the emperor was not pleased at all to find out Thomas Manning was coming as he had deported him and it was to be presumed Manning should never step foot back in China ever again. So the entourage was already doomed to fail.   As the entourage made their way, Amherst reported that the Qing dynasty seemed to have declined significantly compared to what Macartney had reported long ago. The entourage had learnt of the White Lotus rebellion and how suppressing it nearly bankrupt the Qing government. The entourage became rather bold and instead of waiting at the island of Chusan, Amherst ships, accompanied by 2 East India Company surveying vessels divided themselves into task forces and went to work dropping the embassy team off  at the White River. Soon some of the vessels began to explore the river networks going as far north to where the Great Wall meets the coast of Manchuria, sailed around the Liaodong Peninsula and parts of the Yalu river, very bold moves. They also took notes of the villages, populations and geology of their ventures. They particularly noted down the lack of military installations.    Both the Amherst mission and the Qing court intended to use the Macartney mission as a precedent, but neither communicated how they should go about it. What really loomed over the entire affair was the issue of the Kow Tow. Now Amherst was coming into this with less radical requests than Macartney. They were not asking for a permanent ambassador at the capital, nor the opening of new ports. They just wanted some kind of provision for direct communication between the East India Company staff in Canton and a high ranking official in Beijing in order to circumvent the troubles they had been having with the Hoppo and governor general of canton. They also wanted to be allowed to do business with others aside from the Hong merchants. Officials from Beijing met with Amherst as soon as the British ships anchored at the mouth of the white river in early august. They escorted him along the way, but also asked him to Kowtow in front of a piece of yellow silk that represented the emperor. They wanted to see that the man understood how to do the kowtow. Amherst was given instructions from the British government simply to do what he thinks best in the situation of the kow towing issue, but to make sure the mission was a success. Thus the first time he was asked to do it he refused and stated that since Macartney did not kow tow why should he. The Qing officials were confused and said as far as they knew Macartney did kow tow to the emperor in 1793. Then they reminded Amherst the Emperor Jiaqing was present in 1793 and would have seen it occur, best he kow tow as well. George Staunton told Amherst they were mistaken and that he never saw Macartney kow tow. As you can imagine it was now a case of Emperor Jiaqing's word against Staunton, a man the emperor did not like. Amherst was in a bad situation, so he simply stated he would do the kow tow when the time came, but stressed he would do it on one knee and not two. He tried to compromise by offering to kiss the emperors hand which utterly disgusted the Qing officials. The highest ranking Qing official escorting the foreigners was Heshitai, brother in law to Emperor Jaiqing. He told Amherst he had to bow on both knees or he would be expelled from the capital without audience.   The entourage made it just a mile outside Beijing where crowds of spectators began assembling on the sides of the roads to see their approach. They made their way to the eastern gate at night and the massive walls astounded them. They road in springless wooden carts, a quite uncomfortable ride at that. Amherst was told his audience would take place immediately and in fact he was actually late for it. Amherst panicked he was not ready, he was fatigued and unkept, his baggage had not even arrived yet which held his coronation robes for the occasion. He did not even have the letter from the prince regent to be given to the Emperor! Heshitai told him he had to go now, but Amherst refused. Amherst demanded they be given time to clean up, gather their baggage and rest. Heshitai eventually got another Qing official to grab hold of Amherst and dragged him to see the emperor.    It is here we get many conflicting stories about what goes down. In a classical one it is said, the Qing officials grab Amherst in the middle of the night when he is disoriented and try to force him to kow tow in a private room, hoping the half asleep man would just do it. Apparently Staunton grabs Amherst by the elbow before he can do the deed and they suddenly leave the place before seeing the emperor. A lot of unanswered questions to be sure. In another story the try to get Amherst to go see the emperor, but he simply refuses and him and his entourage basically fight their way out of their lodgings and leave on the evening of November 13. Regardless what is important to know is the British entourage and Emperor Jiaqing have no idea whats going on at all, they are both at the mercy of reports from the middle men, IE:  the escort officials like Heshitai.   During the slow journey back south to Canton, one of their ships, the Alceste had bombarded a Chinese fort guarding the Tiger's Mouth river entrance to Canton! Dozens of shots were fired and it is said 47 Chinese soldiers were killed. The Alceste had returned from surveying the Pearl river when the captain Murray Maxwell requested permission to sail up to the Whampoa anchorage so it could make repairs on the ship before picking up Amherst's entourage on their way back. Maxwell alleges he was taunted by the Qing representative to the governor general who told him that Amherst had been sent away from the capital without an audience. Murray Maxwell was thus denied permission to go to the Whampoa anchorage and was forced to wait on an outlying island. After a week of waiting, Maxwell had had it and decided to force up the river without permission. As soon as the Alceste began sailing it was confronted by a Chinese fleet and soon a fire fight. The Alceste began blasting away the Chinese coastal defenses, working her way up the river channel to get to Whampoa anchorage.    Both the British entourage and Emperor Jiaqing were mystified as to what happened. The Emperor sent his personal doctor to see to Amherst whom he had assumed must be very sick for missing the meeting only to find out the man was perfectly healthy. After some investigation the Emperor realized the entire debacle was the fault of the escorting officials, above all Heshitai! It turns out the Emperor had been lied to by the escorting officials and fed false reports. The British blamed the emperor for the entire misadventure. The Emperor was livid by everything, but there was a saving grace to the embarrassment on his nation's part, the embarrassment of the Alceste ordeal. When the Alceste made it to Whampoa the governor generals welcomed the ship as if nothing had ever happened. The Emperor sent conciliatory edicts and gifts for the King of England. The Emperor also sent a letter to the king, but he had written it before his investigation of all the matters and thus wrote that he blamed Amherst for the entire ordeal.   The mission was a catastrophe. Trade would continue unaffected, but now both nations had been humiliated. Now the Chinese would look with more suspicion at the British and the British hopes for extending trade outside the canton system were dashed. As quite a fitting end to the entire ordeal, the Alceste which was carrying Amherst and his retinue back to England slammed into a rock and sank. England's response to the Amherst mission was disappointment. The entire situation aided one group of people in Britain, those who sought to abolish the East India Company's monopoly over the China trade. One major critic of the Amherst mission was Napoleon Bonaparte exiled on Saint Helena in 1817. He thought it was ridiculous that such an ordeal came about because the British fretted over kow towing. But he ended his statements with this “It would be the worst thing you have done for a number of years, to go to war with an immense empire like China, what might happen if the dragon, as it were, should be awakened? You would doubtless, at first, succeed…but you would teach them their own strength. They would be compelled to adopt measures to defend themselves against you; they would consider, and say, ‘we must try to make ourselves equal to this nation. Why should we suffer a people, so far away, to do as they please to us? We must build ships, we must put guns into them, we must render ourselves equal to them.' They would get artificers, and ship builders, from France, and America, and even from London; they would build a fleet,and, in the course of time, defeat you.”    I would like to take this time to remind you all that this podcast is only made possible through the efforts of Kings and Generals over at Youtube. Please go subscribe to Kings and Generals over at Youtube and to continue helping us produce this content please check out www.patreon.com/kingsandgenerals. If you are still hungry after that, give my personal channel a look over at The Pacific War Channel at Youtube, it would mean a lot to me.  The attempts at opening up more trade with China were disastrous and embarrassing for Britain. She needed her tea fix, but her silver reserves were depleted and thus the East India Company began to deal in opium. How could this possibly all go wrong?

Relative Disasters
Relative Disasters, Episode 74 - The 1958 Wintle V Nye Decision

Relative Disasters

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 5, 2022 42:17


On its surface, it's a complicated legal case that took an appeal all the way to the House of Lords to settle. In reality, it's what happens when you attempt to swindle the relative of Lt. Colonel Alfred Daniel Wintle MC - a man who lived an utterly remarkable life and wasn't about to lose this last battle. Come join us for a discussion about a complicated military career, a case that changed the British legal system, and pants! Sources for this episode: The last Englishman: An autobiography of Lieut.-Col. Alfred Daniel Wintle, M.C. (1st the Royal Dragoons) The last Englishman - the unbelievable wartime exploits of AD Wintle by Sky History Foreign News: Here Is an Englishman from Time Magazine, Monday, Aug. 08, 1955 Wintle v Nye: HL 1959 Judgement of Wintle V Nye, HL 1958 Nov-Dec

Backstage With Gentry Thomas
Tom Hopper Joins Gentry Thomas to talk new Netflix Movie

Backstage With Gentry Thomas

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 2, 2022 12:03


Gentry's Backstage again and today he's with British actor Tom Hopper. His newest movie 'Love in the Villa' premiers September 1st on Netflix. Tom plays the role of a cynical British man who's room gets double booked with a mysterious female stranger. The Englishman describes the beautiful shooting location of the film "Verona Italy" which is famous for being the setting in Shakespeare's play 'Romeo and Juliet'. Despite the awe inspiring views of Verona the only thing Gentry could focus on in the movie's trailer was a nearly naked Tom and all his muscles. Gentry even gets some dieting tips from Tom who describes himself as a vegetable connoisseur. The two then compare the U.S. and the U.K. in several subjects and debate on which country has the better football. Tom and Gentry talk about Ozzy Osbourne, American and British cuisine, The Umbrella Academy and so much more on today's episode. Make sure to subscribe and follow for the latest interviews.

Texas Brave and Strong Podcast
There's Something Nutty in Texas!

Texas Brave and Strong Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 1, 2022 7:58


The old man sat with his nutcracker systematically working the lever, cracking, and shelling pecans. About every fifth nut went into his mouth as he worked. The little girl climbed up on a chair beside him. “Can I crack nuts, too, Grandpa?” He grinned at her. “Crack or crack and eat?” Her smile was mischievous. “Both.” “Well they are mighty good eatin'. I'll tell you what, since we only have one nut cracker, I'll crack and you can help me eat.” He set another nut in the cracker, pulled the lever, separated the shell from the nut inside and handed it to her. These are good Pawnee pecans. They're big and have a nice buttery flavor.” “Pawnee? That's the name of a Native American tribe, right.” “Yep. Almost seventy years ago a fellow named H.L. Crane suggested namin' the different kinds of pecans after the native tribes in pecan growing territory. So we've got Comanche, Cherokee, Choctaw, and a bunch more pecan varieties—each a little bit different. The name pecan is an Algonquin word that translates—more or less—to “a nut requiring a stone to crack its shell. “We call the original Texas pecan the ‘native' variety. Pecans been growin' in Texas a long time. Back in the 1500s, Spanish explorer Cabeza de Vaca wrote that the native people he met ate pecans. But pecans go back even further than that. Fossilized pecans found along the Rio Grande River are estimated to be 65 million years old.” He handed her another nut and popped one in his mouth. “There are wild pecan trees and planted pecan orchards across most of Texas, ‘specially in the Hill Country. Some of the wild trees are 200 years old. Did you know, pecan trees can grow to 120 feet tall and measure four feet across?” “Wow! That's a humungous tree. You'd need a tall ladder to pick the nuts.” “Well, nowadays, pickin' is mechanical. A big machine puts its metal arms around a tree's trunk and gives it a big shake for about a minute. The ripe pecans just fall to the ground. Some growers catch them on special sheets, others sweep ‘em up with mechanical sweepers.” “We have lots of pecan trees around here.” She pulled a shelled nut from the growing pile.”There are even two in our front yard. But the squirrels beat us to most of the pecans.” “Yep. Little rascals. We're mighty lucky to live in the Texas hill country, especially in San Saba.” “Because there are so many pecan trees?” “That's part of it. San Saba is known as the ‘Pecan Capital of the World' and San Saba is the home of the ‘Mother Pecan Tree.'” “Pecan trees have a mother?” “Well, the folks at Texas A&M over in College Station tell the story of E.E. Risien. He was an Englishman who moved to Texas in 1874 and spent his life growing pecan trees near where the Colorado and San Saba Rivers meet. He gathered male pecan blossoms from pecan trees all over the area. Then, placed the pollen on the female blossoms of a special tree to create new varieties. His special tree gets the credit for creating many, many different pecan varieties—that tree is the ‘Big Mama' of the pecan business. “People liked his pecans. Customers from all over the world bought them. Queen Victoria and Alfred Lord Tennyson in Great Britain ordered his pecans. The Post Cereal Co. was another customer. “By 1904, Texas had really grown and so many pecan trees had been cut down to make way for cotton crops or for use in building wagons, farm implements, and furniture, that the number of pecan trees was gettin' thin. But in 1906, an interesting thing happened. "Texas Governor James Hogg and his daughter visited Hogg's law partner in Houston. That night, Governor Hogg commented that when he died he did not want a stone monument at his grave. Instead he said, ‘Let my children plant at the head of my grave a pecan tree and at my feet an old walnut tree. And when these trees shall bear...'"

Take On The South
S2E2--Spirit the Tattoo Artist

Take On The South

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 31, 2022 30:35


When an Englishman enters a Columbia, SC tattoo parlor, he finds himself participating in an unearthing the serendipitous connections of Southern history, fathers and son, and art as an access point to history. Join Mark Smith as he and Columbia, SC-based tattoo artist "Spirit" share their incredible story, discuss the development of tattooing in the South, and think through how art works to reinforce history. Mark and Spirit discuss Eldzier Cortor's 1973 painting, Still-Live: Past Revisisted in the course of the conversation. https://tattoosbyspirit.com/

History of North America
133. Shakespeare's New World

History of North America

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 27, 2022 11:37


Let's appreciate the immeasurable contribution made by an Englishman on one of North America's main languages and culture. English actor, playwright, poet, and London theatre owner from the early 1590s to 1613, William Shakespeare (1564-1616), known as "the Bard of Avon", authored at least 37 plays and collaborated on several more. He also wrote 154 sonnets, two long narrative poems, and a few other verses. Check out the YouTube version of this episode at https://youtu.be/_VsVNhg_tdg which has accompanying visuals including maps, charts, timelines, photos, illustrations, and diagrams. Go follow our TikTok page to enjoy additional History of North America content, including original short 60 second capsules at https://tiktok.com/@historyofnorthamerica Mark Vinet's TIMELINE video channel at https://youtube.com/c/TIMELINE_MarkVinet Get exclusive access to Bonus episodes, Ad-Free content, and Extra materials when joining our growing community on Patreon at https://patreon.com/markvinet or Donate on PayPal at https://bit.ly/3cx9OOL and receive an eBook welcome GIFT of The Maesta Panels by Mark Vinet. Denary Novels by Mark Vinet are available at https://amzn.to/33evMUj Website: https://markvinet.com/podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/denarynovels Twitter: https://twitter.com/TIMELINEchannel Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mark.vinet.9 YouTube Podcast Playlist: https://www.bit.ly/34tBizu Podcast: https://anchor.fm/mark-vinet TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@historyofnorthamerica Linktree: https://linktr.ee/WadeOrganization

Ricochet Podcast
Tossing The Elf Out With The Chump Change

Ricochet Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 26, 2022 74:24


It's hard to put words to President Biden's latest charade. Good thing we have Englishman! Our friend Charlie Cooke is filling in for Peter and James to talk about Joe's promise to liquidate the American social contract. He and Rob also get into midterms and search in vain for a Republican national agenda. And since we can't help but cling to good news, Dr. Jay Bhattacharya joins from Rome to give Fauci his final grade. He also gets into "fringe" science, corrupting conflicts of interest, and forgiveness. (And you'll never guess who he's just met!) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Ricochet Audio Network Superfeed
The Ricochet Podcast: Tossing The Elf Out With The Chump Change (#607)

The Ricochet Audio Network Superfeed

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 26, 2022


It’s hard to put words to the audaciousness of President Biden’s latest charade. Good thing we have Englishman! Our friend Charlie Cooke is filling in for Peter and James to talk about Joe’s promise to liquidate the American social contract. He and Rob also get into midterms and search in vain for a Republican national […]

History of North America
132. William Shakespeare

History of North America

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 24, 2022 12:30


As we approach the end of our Deep Dive into England's Tudor period and its influence on North America, let's examine the immeasurable contribution made by an Englishman on one of the continent's main languages and culture. Although this gentleman never visited the continent per se, his words flowed across the ocean onto the immense territory to greatly impact its means of communication. Let's explore the life, deeds and works of this Tudor era Titan of History, William Shakespeare (1564-1616). Check out the YouTube version of this episode at https://youtu.be/kp3lat0fIF0 which has accompanying visuals including maps, charts, timelines, photos, illustrations, and diagrams. Go follow our TikTok page to enjoy additional History of North America content, including original short 60 second capsules at https://tiktok.com/@historyofnorthamerica Mark Vinet's TIMELINE video channel at https://youtube.com/c/TIMELINE_MarkVinet Get exclusive access to Bonus episodes, Ad-Free content, and Extra materials when joining our growing community on Patreon at https://patreon.com/markvinet or Donate on PayPal at https://bit.ly/3cx9OOL and receive an eBook welcome GIFT of The Maesta Panels by Mark Vinet. Denary Novels by Mark Vinet are available at https://amzn.to/33evMUj Website: https://markvinet.com/podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/denarynovels Twitter: https://twitter.com/TIMELINEchannel Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mark.vinet.9 YouTube Podcast Playlist: https://www.bit.ly/34tBizu Podcast: https://anchor.fm/mark-vinet TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@historyofnorthamerica Linktree: https://linktr.ee/WadeOrganization

Patrick E. McLean
Nowhere Ch. 22 -- A Stranger Stranger Comes to Town

Patrick E. McLean

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 22, 2022 19:59


If Dance only looked at one side of the street it could almost appear that Grantham had gotten back to normal. There had been a rough few days after the fire, but they’d buried the dead, said words over them, and moved on. That didn’t mean that things were good but they could've been a hell of a lot worse. Food and supplies were dwindling, but since Dance had organized hunting parties, supplies were dwindling nice and slow. Sure, they'd have to do something about it, but right now the 203 surviving souls of the Town of Grantham were in need of a respite.If they could keep from getting wiped out by the wildlife or savage tribes – and if the coffee lasted long enough — they just might be O.K.Having given himself over to a philosophical turn of mind Dance could see how their predicament wasn't any different than any other frontier town. They were on the edge of the unknown struggling to survive. They had plenty of water and the weather, at least so far, was nice. He savored another sip of coffee and he resolved to enjoy what he could while he could.Walking up the street and taking his own sweet time about it, Speedy Pete was headed towards the jail. When he got close Dance asked, "Pete, how in the hell is it that you ain't dead? I mean I ain't complaining. I'm just saying, I know which way I lay the odds on that one…”Speedy Pete smiled slow and pushed his hat back. “Well sir, my Mama always said I'd be late to my own funeral. So what I reckon is… Death just shows up to where I'm supposed to be and when I’m not there, all punctual-lie, he get sick of waiting around. Goes off finds somebody else to do business with."Dance was so stumped by the unexpected elegance of his Deputy’s explanation all he could say was, “Fair enough, Pete.”"We step inside so I can make my report?""No, Pete she's in there schooling up them kids. Did you know that little girl can read?""School? But that school Ma’rm ran off. I mean afore we even… wound up here."“I know Pete. But the Widow Miller is intent on her children getting an education. And I have reconciled myself to the fact that it's wise to stay clear of the entire enterprise so I don't get my head mixed up with any book larnin’. Somebody’s gotta think straight around here,” Dance said with a wink.Pete missed the joke entirely and said, “You takin’ up with that Widder is one thing, but I’m not sure I'm OK with children living in a jail cell."“Makes ‘em easy to contain,” said Dance, blowing another joke right by Pete. “Besides, we ain’t got no other use for them cells. They’re for holding people for the Judge, and as the Judge ain’t coming no more. Miscreants are getting fined or hanged.” Dance looked in his coffee and said, “Well, I suppose you could say the one’s gettin’ hanged are just getting fined everything.”Pete puzzled on this for a moment then shook his head to clear it of philosophical speculations the same way that people will beat a rug to rid it of dust. Then he said,“Well, we got the watches all figured out, and I think them Polacks know where to be and when. But I can't understand a goddamn word they're saying most of the time.”Dance said, “That's OK Pete, nobody can.""They was jibber jabberin’ away about laundry! Something about that the Chinaman wasn't doing it for free no more. But I don’t think I heard it right. I mean why would a Chinaman watch a bunch of Polack’s laundry for free? Don't make no damn sense.""And anything else around here does?" asked Dance.“Well iffn I’m gettin’ any say in the matter, Sheriff, I'll take my mysteries in a language I can understand.”Dance finished his coffee and said,”Let’s go down and see what the fuss with the Chinaman is all about.”He took his cup into the jail and lifted a rifle from the rack. Penelope was sounding out words from a book and Mac looked up from a calculating slate to glare at the Sheriff. Dance couldn’t blame the boy much for his animosity. He reckoned he’d feel much the same. But Laura smiled at him and that was all that mattered. Then she saw the rifle in his hand and her smile faded. Dance said, “Just have to see about a crazy Chinaman,” by way of reassurance, but Laura’s smile did not reappear.By the time Dance got back outside the commotion had poured into the middle of the street and was headed right for him. Five thick-necked miners were following the Chinaman as he led a heavily-ladened mule up the middle of the street. Dance asked, “Now just where in the hell does he think he's going?"Pete said nothing, which, when Pete could manage it, was how Dance liked him best.One of the miners, looking about as at home in the sunlight as a freshly upturned mole, seized the mule’s reins. This upset the Chinaman and he shoved the miner, and tried to regain control of his animal. This angered the rest of the miners, and they piled on. Dance had to respect to the little Oriental fella. He didn’t go quietly. He kicked the first one square in the nuts and then started jumping and gesticulating like he had a bad case of the St. Vitus’. It worked well enough at first but there were just too many miners and too few pounds of Chinaman for him to have any real chance. The Chinaman dropped a second one with a chop to the throat and got a third with a kick to the kneecap. But then somebody got a hold of the Chinaman’s ponytail and gave it a yank and down everyone went into the dust.Dance shook his head at the whole mess. He wasn't getting mixed up in that crap, no sir. Beside him, Pete started forward, eager to do his duty. The Sheriff stopped him with his left hand and raised the rifle over his head with his right and fired. As the report died away all eyes in the pile of men looked to the Sheriff. Dance said, “All right! That's enough rolling around in the horseshit for one day."The pileup slowly disengaged revealing the Chinaman at the bottom. He seemed relatively unharmed. He barked a singsong phrase at the men around him and then started to walk off after his well-ladened mule. One of the Miners grabbed his ponytail and yanked him off his feet once again. Dance lifted his rifle from his shoulder, stepped in, and clubbed the miner in the back of the head. As the large, fleshy man collapsed to the earth Dance said, "I said enough! And, by God, I meant enough. Now what the hell is going on here?"The air was filled with languages that the Sheriff did not understand. He yelled for everyone to speak in English but, everyone could not. The one miner who spoke some English had a dislocated jaw, so Dance couldn’t understand him, even thought he was trying his best. The Chinaman stood with his arms crossed, not saying a word, and managed to be the most dignified party in the entire matter. Excepting the mule. As Dance was trying to sort out the mess, Pete went after the Mule, that was quietly plodding up the street, wisely trying to distance himself from this human foolishness. Then, Pete stopped in his tracks. Coming from the East, silhouetted by the morning sun, was a stranger coming in from the wilderness.“Sheriff…” said Pete.The commotion of men arguing and incompatible languages continued behind him, so Pete tried again, louder."Sheriff!"This time everyone looked up and saw the figure in his strange red robes, strolling into town as if he did it every day. All argument ceased. The Chinaman helped the clubbed miner to his feet. The miner, thinking that this meant the fight was still on, raised his fist to attempt a wobbly blow. The Chinaman slapped the fist away and pointed at the stranger coming into town. The miner forgot all about the fight. Dance, held his rifle loose in both hands, stood beside Pete and squinted at what was coming. He said, “Pete, run go get that Englishman. He's gonna wanna see this."Pete looked at the Sheriff, then at the stranger, then back to the Sheriff. He tried to get the sheriff the reins of the mule, but the Sheriff didn't take his eyes off the stranger. So Pete just dropped the reins and headed off with all the hurry he could manage. * * * By the time Archie arrived, limping in on his bad foot as fast as he could manage, the Stranger was standing at the end of main street. He was dressed in red robes and held a staff of plain wood in this right hand. Around his shoulder we wore a satchel, something like half a saddlebag on a leather strap. He had sandals and if he was scared by the crowd of townspeople that had assembled, he did not show it. His face was worn and his beard and hair were flecked with grey. He could have been anywhere from 50 to 80 years old. Archie said, “What do we do now?” The Sheriff said, “We go see if you and he have any languages in common.”“I’m not much of a translator,” said Archie, “Especially when I’m nervous.” “Relax. I’ve about half made up my mind to shoot him anyway,” said the Sheriff, and started walking. Archie hobbled along behind. As the Sheriff came closer the Stranger smiled and raised his hand in greeting. Dance gave him a thousand-yard stare.The Stranger said something that no one understood. Archie said something back in a different language. In response, the stranger reached into his satchel and pulled out a skin of water. He took a swig and then offered the bag to the Sheriff and Archie. When no one moved, the stranger shrugged. Then he said, “Orlap Bechtanar thrunce dak.”Archie shrugged.The stranger repeated the words then nodded to himself. From his satchel he removed a cut red gemstone, the size of a small melon. The Sun glinted off its facets and as he held in front of him it seemed a thing made of light rather than mineral. The Stranger took another step forward. Dance cocked the rifle and stepped forward to meet him. The stranger stopped and smiled again. Then he slowly set his satchel and staff on the ground. He removed his robes and revealed his weathered body, as gnarled as piece of long-dried driftwood. And written in scar tissue across his chest were the remnants of a cruel wound. The ribs of one side of his chest were partially caved in and gave the old man a disturbing asymmetry. Dance remained unmoved by any of this. And only moved his eyes to scan the horizon in case this was some kind of prelude to an ambush. Clad in only a loincloth the stranger held the red stone out in front of him with both hands and walked slowly towards the men.Beside him, Sheriff Dance felt more than saw people reaching for weapons in the crowd behind him. “Easy,” said Dance, “Ain’t no showdown. Worst he’s tried to do is kill us with a bad striptease.” He said it so well he almost managed to convince himself. The stranger spoke again. This time just a single word, “Mobruk. Mobruk. Morbruk.” He held the stone out to the Sheriff, encouraging him to take it, using the same tone of voice a Mother might use to get a toddler to take a mouthful of food. He looked directly into Sheriff Dance’s eyes and nodded encouragingly. “Mobruk.”The Sheriff reached out his hand and took the stone. He felt a shiver run up his arm and into his brain. He shook his head and then he understood what the man was saying. “Take. Take.”“What the hell!?!” said the Sheriff. “Good, we have connection,” said the Stranger. “We can now understand each other.” “But, I…” said Dance. He looked back to Archie and asked, “Can you understand him?”“Not a word. You can?”“I can. I don’t know how, but I can.”“Please share the gift of Ba-El with others. So that all may understand and peace may be on the world." The Sheriff looked at the stranger in his loincloth and said, “Yeah, I got a peacemaker too. Never seems to work like I want it to though."Archie said, “What does he say? If you can understand him, you must translate."Sheriff Dance handed Archie the glowing orb. Archie touched it and his eyes went wide."Yes," said the stranger, "you see now, his peace will spread. Glory be to Ba-El father of Harmony!"Archie said, “Wait. Run that by me one more time. Ba-El is some kind of deity? What is this then?” He asked holding up the orb,“and by what source is this powered?”The Priest of Ba-El said, “Please, I will answer all questions in time, but first spread Ba-El's gift, so that all may speak the same language."Dance took the orb back from Archie and asked, “You think everybody knowing what people are really sayin’ is going to bring peace?""It is a consummation devoutly wished," said the Priest of Ba-El."Well, let's just see about that.” Dance turned to the battered Miners and beleaguered Chinaman. He threw the orb to the Chinaman who caught it deftly. Dance said, “Pass it round!”The Chinaman’s eyes went wide with the shock of understanding the words. He looked at the orb, then back to the Sheriff. "How can you be speaking Chinese?!?""I don't know, how are you speaking English?""It is Ba-El’s gift,” said the Priest of Ba-El as he smiled at the wonder of shared understanding.“Yes you’ve said that,” said Archie. “Chinaman, give it over to them Polacks,” said Dance. “My name is not Chinaman, it is Liu Sung.”“Alright Loose Un’, give it over.”Liu Sung offered the orb to the Polish Miners. First, none of them wanted it, but finally the man Dance had hit with the rifle stretched out his hands and took the orb. Dance asked “Can you understand us?” “He stole our silver!!!” said the Miner“I did not. You try to rob me!" countered Liu.As the argument continued, Sheriff Dance looked back at the Red Priest and said, “Yeah, all sorted out. Happily ever after.” The Miner said, “His mule is full of silver. This crazy Chinaman was washing clothes for free. We didn’t pay him no silver. He didn’t mine no silver. The only way for him to get it was to steal it.”“Ah,” said Archie, “Deduction.”“I never steal,” said Liu.“Then how’d you get it, Chinaman!”“Liu. Liu Sung!” Dance stepped between them. “Easy Loose Un’! Let’s just take it one step at a time. Pete, fetch that mule over here.” The mule, who somehow was the most even-tempered party in the whole matter, was freighted with heavy panniers on each of his flanks. Sheriff Dance looked inside and found them filled with small leather sacks. He opened one of the sacks and found it filled with silver dust. “Alright. He’s got a shitload of silver. Mr. Chinam— I mean Loose ‘Un, you want to explain how you got all this silver?”“I did not steal,” said Liu Sung.“And I ain't saying that you did, but I am curious as to where it came from, and where you think you might be going out into that savage wasteland with it?”“I go back to the middle kingdom, back to civilization.""Ain't no civilization left, or ain't you noticed? We're on our own son,” said the Sheriff."Sung, Liu Sung. Sung is a proud name. The Sung do not steal.”“If I may promote harmony...” said the Priest of Ba-El.“Little harmony be real nice for a change around here,” offered Pete.“He looks as if he comes from the Kithai people, a vast empire far to the NorthEast of here.”Liu Sung said, “There has always been a middle kingdom. There will always be a middle kingdom.""An empire you say?” asked Archie. “There is a civilization? More than one? Then why? And who attacked us? And the tower that he saw?”The Priest of Ba-El smiled again and asked, “Which question would you have me answer first?”Dance said, “Now, just hang on. Let's get one thing straight before we go bending all the rest. Loose Un, where did the damn silver come from?”“These men work in the mine, chip, chip, chip, all day. They bring clothes to Liu Sung,” he said with particular emphasis on Sung, “and I wash them. End of day I pour out the water and save all the little pieces of silver I find. Why else I no charge them for laundry.” “We just though you vere crazy,” said one of the Miners. “I told you that was our silver!” said another. “If it's anybody silver it's DuMonts’, and that useless son of a b***h is dead. Loose Song,” said Dance, sincerely trying to get his name right. “You ain’t broken any law and as far as I’m concerned I wish you’d stick around. We need all the smart people we can get. But I suggest you stick around long enough to see what we can learn from our new friend." Dance turned to the Priest of Ba-El and said, "and you, new friend, you're gonna draw us a map.” This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit patrickemclean.substack.com

Forensic Transmissions
Episode 164: Depp vs. Heard; Ben King takes the stand

Forensic Transmissions

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 21, 2022 107:45


On April 25, 2022, during the Johnny Depp defamation trial, Depp's attorneys called on Depp's butler, a genteel Englishman named Ben King. Until this point in the trial, there hadn't been much evidence to counter the prosecution's portrayal of Depp as a “drunken, cocaine-fueled menace who beat women.” Mr. King, however, told a different story. Depp's butler, who managed the home where the couple stayed in Australia during the 2015 filming of the fifth installment of the “Pirates” franchise, described how Depp's then-wife Amber Heard threw a vodka bottle at him, smashing his finger against the edge of a bar in the house. King testifies that he found Depp's severed fingertip in a tissue on the floor of the bar along with a broken bottle of Stolichnaya vodka. He said a “big chunk” of the marble bartop had been broken off. Mr. King said that he had witnessed frequent arguments between the couple during their stay in Australia, in London, but he had never known Mr. Depp to be violent. King's testimony was the turning point in the trial. After his testimony, the tide of opinion was on Depp's side, and never left. Amber Heard was defeated in her defamation suit; the jury awarded Depp $10 million in compensatory damages. Listen to the episode here.

The Football Ramble
On The Continent: Is a storm already brewing at PSG?

The Football Ramble

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 18, 2022 46:30 Very Popular


Lars Sivertsen is back on the pod! And he brings good tidings from Norway…Dotun, Andy and Lars discuss Kylian Mbappé's jaw-dropping display at the weekend (for all the wrong reasons) and whether efforts to push Neymar out will really come to fruition. Plus, Barcelona got (almost) all of their new signings registered, but why didn't it click on the opening weekend? And which youngsters are going to rip it up in Europe this season? Look no further than another Englishman at Dortmund!Tweet us @FootballRamble and email us here: show@footballramble.com.Sign up for our Patreon before the end of August and get 15% off an annual membership! Plus exclusive live events, ad-free Rambles, full video episodes and loads more: patreon.com/footballramble.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.