Seltzer Death Match

Surprise! Your seltzer feed has been taken over by an authorized spinoff of the franchise. “Little French Jelly Death Match” will be an audio advent calendar following the actual Bonne Maman advent calendar of little jams. We want you to play along! Snag a jam calendar here: https://www.bonnemaman.us/2022-advent-calendar.html?gclid=CjwKCAiA68ebBhB-EiwALVC-Nrjedl4HbijShYrV3MR7h81qj-UgMQO2wY617NetB8SRDOqoxy_DGhoCc64QAvD_BwE (NOTE: THIS IS NOT SPON CON. BUT THERE IS TIME, BONNE MAMAN, IF YOU WANT TO GET IN TOUCH)

Which Pokémon is the official Pokémon of seltzer? Josh Fjelstad, co-host of the podcast "EXP. Share," joins us to try a hemp club soda... just in time for 4/20. Today’s matchup: Q Spectacular Club Soda vs. Endo Water Sparkling Hemp Club Soda.

It’s a battle of grapefruit seltzers! Podcast producer Mike Katzif joins us for today’s matchup: Waterloo vs. Alta Palla.* *Mike’s original plug was edited out of the show because this episode was recorded in 2019 and he was plugging the concept of attending live concerts. But he suggests, “In the meantime, maybe watching musicians performing awkwardly and wholesomely in their own homes on IG Live and such.”

We're back, just in time for that Independence Day cookout you definitely shouldn't be going to because social distancing is still a thing. Hot dog aficionado Sam Lee joins us to taste two more trendy hemp seltzers. Today's matchup: Sweet Reason strawberry lavender vs. Dram gingergrass. Black lives matter; this seltzer podcast does not... so enjoy this little break and then get back to being actively anti-racist.

Get out of the way, Aesthetics, Bub and Flava… there’s a new rubric in town. Food and beverage writer Meredith Heil joins us, and the brunch ambience outside the shipping container is VERY LOUD. Today’s matchup: Ever and Ever vs. Market Basket.

For $125,000: Does Meredith Vieira like seltzer? A: Yes B: No C: She's more of a Spindrift fan D: Richard Nixon It's booze vs. hemp black cherry seltzers. Today's matchup: White Claw vs. Weller.

We begin with an actual news update from our carbonation correspondent about the coronavirus pandemic’s impact on the seltzer industry. Then, another new episode from 2019: Writer/editor/strategist Abbey Kos joins us to make a confession. Today’s matchup: An artisanal local Brooklyn seltzer vs. FOUND unflavored. Today’s episode uses the song “She Thinks Herself Immortal” by Jim Rooster, CC Attribution license.

Club soda vs. mineral water? The world's gone to hell, so who cares! In late 2019, New York Times reporter Caitlin Dickerson joined us in a shipping container in the backyard of a Bushwick pizza restaurant to compare two things that make no sense to compare. Today's matchup: Sea to Sea club Soda vs. Lurisia mineral water.

Seltzer Death Match is back with new episodes recorded in the past. Wendy Zukerman of Gimlet's "Science Vs." brought us two Polish seltzers she found in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. Today's matchup: Naleczowianka vs. Cisowianka. Stay safe, everybody.

Peter Bresnan is the producer of Gimlet's "The Habitat," about six fake astronauts trapped in a fake Mars habitat for a year. What happens when he's trapped in a seltzer podcast for an hour, edited down to 13 minutes? Today's matchup: Polar Club Soda Lemon Twist vs. Polar Seltzer "Yeti Mischief."

Does Michael Barbaro like seltzer? Our guest judge Theo Balcomb has the answer. Theo produces The New York Times news podcast, "The Daily," and she has some HOT GOSS about seltzer culture at The Gray Lady. Today's matchup: Mountain Valley vs. Field Day.

Joy. Sadness. Anger. Fear. Disgust. These are the five human emotions, as depicted by Pixar's "Inside Out." Which do you experience upon drinking seltzer? We explore this question with Tim Manley, storyteller and writer/star of the web series "The Feels." Today's matchup: Four Point Zero Green Apple vs. Four Point Zero Mango Cilantro.

Host Julia Melfi welcomes the judges of Seltzer Death Match, Rachel Ward and Travis Larchuk, to choose which is the most good club soda in the U-S-A. This episode uses the song “Bubble Butterflies,” by Bottlesmoker, CC Attribution-NonCommercial license.

Does Chelsea Clinton like seltzer? We know she was once in the vicinity of Hint Fizz, thanks to today's guest judge, Rebecca Soffer. She's the co-founder of "Modern Loss," a web site and book with essays about the grieving process. Today's battle: Topo Chico from Mexico vs. Selters from Germany.

The VP of Boylan Bottling Co. joins us to defend his company’s products in the wake of Boylan’s losses at the hands of regional favoritism and a non-seltzer mixed with soy sauce. In this extra-long special episode, we’ll learn everything we didn’t know we wanted to know about the bub biz. Then, it’s a Boylan Battle Royale: We’ll taste all four Boylan seltzer flavors, but only one can win. Today’s episode uses the song “Think,” by Lee Rosevere, CC Attribution-NonCommercial license.

Does Bob Costas like seltzer? Our special guest judge, NPR's Kat Chow, might know the answer. She discusses her stint as a producer at the Vancouver Winter Olympics. Then she surprises us with an unprecedented challenge: mixing seltzer with SOY SAUCE. Today's matchup: Boylan's Lemon Seltzer vs. San Pellegrino Lemon (which we know is not technically seltzer, don't @ us).

The hosts of Gimlet's "The Nod," Brittany Luse and Eric Eddings, join us to discuss an important parenting topic: when to introduce your children to seltzer. Also, Brittany makes up a seltzer cake recipe and we taste two mineral waters from Spain: Mondariz and Sant Aniol.

A private Facebook group of seltzer fans announces itself to the world. Group ambassador Amanda Brennan joins us to discuss seltzer lingo and her day job as Tumblr's librarian of memes. Today's matchup: Limited Edition Hal's New York Coffee Seltzer vs. coffee we put in a SodaStream.

Welcome to Night Vale's Cecil Baldwin joins us for our season 2 premiere, now with even more questionable audio quality! Join us back in Rachel Ward's Brooklyn apartment as we discuss the difference between Insta-Gays and #instagays and how to pronounce the words "apricot" and "Cúrate." Today's matchup: LaCroix Apricot vs. Voss Tangerine Lemongrass.

It all comes down to this. Previous guest judges and other friends join us to help taste the final two seltzers, offer new sense memories and air grievances in a spectacular live (on tape) finale. Featuring cameos by David Greene and Rachel's Dad, and a clip of Katie Couric discussing seltzer courtesy of NPR & WAMU's The Big Listen. Today’s episode uses the song “Think,” by Lee Rosevere, CC Attribution-NonCommercial license.

Did you know there's an entire country north of The United States? We'll learn more about this mysterious land with today's guest judge, Slate's unofficial Canada correspondent, Chris Berube. He tells us that Canadians call seltzer "club soda." Go figure: It's just like Canadians to figure out how to spell "seltzer" with the letter "U." (Also, we are aware club soda is technically different from seltzer. Please send your angry letters to Canada Dry, c/o Dr Pepper/Seven Up, Inc.) In today's final semifinal, Saratoga and Adirondack Lemon Lime compete to advance to the final final.

Does Rachel Maddow like seltzer? And, hypothetically, if you were in charge of a podcasting agency that partners with businesses to create branded content, what would be your dream seltzer account? As we approach the season finale, Nazanin Rafsanjani guest judges the first of two semifinal death matches. Only she can decide who moves to the finals: Vintage or Hint Fizz Peach.

Is seltzer good for your skin? What liquid do you soak your meatball breadcrumbs in? What are we even talking about anymore? Katie Christiansen joins us for the last quarterfinal round, as Vintage and LaCroix Coconut battle it out for a spot in the semifinals. Today’s episode contains a snippet of “Think,” by Lee Rosevere, CC Attribution-NonCommercial license.

Who's your Disney sidepiece? We talk about the hottest bros in the Magic Kingdom with BuzzFeed consultant Chiquita Paschal. Also, returning quarterfinalist seltzers Hint Fizz Peach and Rocchetta Brio Blu battle for a spot in the semifinals. Today's episode contains a snippet of "Think," by Lee Rosevere, CC Attribution-NonCommercial License.

Does Ira Glass like seltzer? Today's program in three acts. Act I: "For Whom the Bub Bubs." We meet our guest judge, This American Life's Zoe Chace. Act II: "Quarter for Your Finals." Returning winners Adirondack Lemon-Lime (the David Sedaris of seltzer) and Hal’s New York Black Cherry (the Mike Birbiglia of seltzer) compete. Act III: "Personal Reflection." What did you think that seltzer was going to be like, and then, what was it really like? How has this experience changed you?* *During our live movie theater simulcast, this segment was accompanied by a performance from the Pilobolus dance troupe. Today’s episode contains a snippet of “Think,” by Lee Rosevere, CC Attribution-NonCommercial license.

Did you know there's a kind of seltzer that doesn't have bubbles, and you have to chew it? It's called "food." Guest judge Austin Thompson (Gimlet) turns the tables and treats us to some rice balls. Stay until the end for some quality stereo ASMR. Also we'll drink Saratoga and LaCroix Pamplemousse. Today’s episode contains a snippet of “Think,” by Lee Rosevere, CC Attribution-NonCommercial license.

The opening rounds are over, and the quarterfinal bracket has been released! Mike Pesca, host of Slate's podcast "The Gist," joins Travis for some bracketology. We'll learn some actual facts about the seltzers we've tried as Mike predicts the winners of each quarterfinal, and the overall winner of SDM.

You're invited! Bring a can of seltzer over to our house. Throw it into a hat. Put on a blindfold and drink whatever seltzer you choose! (Also bring your own blindfold.) RSVP regrets only. Guest judge Laura Sim picks between two classic, unflavored seltzers: Polar and Vintage.

You wander into a dimly lit room. The sound of bubbles surrounds you. A seltzer cooler opens. A handsome man emerges. He beckons you to join him. You hesitate. Will this be the night? The night you drop your inhibitions? The night you finally find your fizz? Guest judge Julia Melfi pitches us on multiple seltzer-related theat(er/re) projects. Today's match: Hint Fizz Peach vs. Canada Dry Mandarin Orange.

Check your fridge. Is there an old bottle of mustard in there? Where did it come from? What’s its story? We'll all learn and grow as guest judge Lynn Levy takes us through international waters: Vichy Catalan vs. Rocchetta Brio Blu. This episode contains a tiny bit of royalty free music by Bensound: http://www.bensound.com/.

What's the seltzer culture like in the Adirondacks? And when will this podcast finally review meat water? Our guest judge, upstate New York native Rommel Wood (of Radio Free Brooklyn), joins us to settle a subway series: Boylan vs. Saratoga Springs.

When does cactus life begin? And what do you call that thing where you mix every soda flavor together? Get ready for international and domestic culture clashes with guest judge Kalila Holt (@kalilaholt, producer of The Heavyweight). Today's matchup is of two NYC bodega "hangover cures," Hal's Black Cherry New York Seltzer, and Coco Libre Sparkling Organic Coconut Water.

Taste this seltzer, darling, taste ALL of this seltzer! Guest judge Ryan Leetch joins us with an important tip on how to spot a genuine key lime pie. Today's controversial matchup: Adirondack Lemon-Lime vs. a homemade combination of Poland Springs Lemon and Poland Springs Lime.

How do you pronounce "LaCroix"? And, more importantly, who is the Beyonce of Balkan music? Guest judge and seltzer skeptic Ravenna Koenig joins us as we pit the most-loved flavor of LaCroix against the most divisive: It's Pamplemousse vs. Coconut.

Does Rachel Ray like seltzer? Guest judge Doan Buu spills the sparkling tea. Today's matchup is Vanilla Fairway Simply Seltz'r vs. Vanilla Hi Ball Energy Sparkling Energy Water.