The 12 Week Relationships Podcast

Defensiveness is a common reaction to criticism, where individuals become protective and guarded, perceiving a threat to their self-esteem or sense of identity. It is a natural response when feeling attacked, but if it becomes a habitual pattern, it can damage relationships and hinder personal growth.In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen define defensiveness and discuss how to identify and change this behavior in relationships.

Contempt in relationships is not only destructive, it's the single biggest predictor of relationship failure. It's a pervasive feeling of disrespect, anger, and disapproval that goes beyond just feeling frustrated with your partner.In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen explore the causes of contempt in relationships, the signs that indicate its presence, its effects, and solutions to prevent its spread.

Resentment is the number one indicator of divorce or separation in a relationship. Translation: The stakes are high!However, beyond the obvious consequence of your relationship ending, there are hidden costs of resentment in a relationship that couples are often not aware of, or do not acknowledge. In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen discuss and answer the question: How do you identify and overcome resentment?

Relationships are a lot like gardens – they require consistent care and attention in order to thrive. We often admire beautiful gardens all while being ignorant or oblivious to the work that it took to create such a garden. Relationships are quite similar, aren't they? Just like that beautiful garden, it's easy to see the beauty in someone else's relationship and to want that thing for ourselves. This is where we might fall into the notion of the “grass being greener on the other side.” But the truth follows something more like what Neil Barringham said, “the grass is greener where you water it.”Whether you're newly dating or have been together for years, there are steps you can take to cultivate a strong and healthy partnership.In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen provide tips for how to keep your relationship grass wonderfully green. It's worth noting that we're going to focus on marriage/partnerships, but most of these tips are going to be applicable to ALL of your long-term relationships.

Stonewalling is a type of communication breakdown that can leave one feeling ignored, unimportant, or even dismissed altogether. Per research by the Gottman Institute, it's also one of the leading predictors of relationship failure and divorce. While it's a common relationship problem, it's important to be aware of its impact in order to address it immediately.In this episode, Pye & Dr. Glen dive into the different types of stonewalling, how it affects a relationship, and how you can stop it if you find yourself stonewalling or being stonewalled.

What's the number one reason for divorce? According to this famous pastor, it's "immaturity" and the lack of effort.In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen react to Pastor Rick Warren's painfully oversimplified, and frankly, irresponsible, take on divorce and discuss the factors that ACTUALLY contribute to the end of a marriage.

There's a lot of bad advice out there. Most of the time we'd just say, "to each their own." But every now and then a video masqueraded as relationship or marriage advice goes viral. This is one of those examples. Not only has this video amassed millions upon millions of views, but many of the people who watched it agreed with what was being said (which you can see from the comments)."My husband is my boss" embraces a kind of traditionalism often found in religious environments that might sound crazy to modern and progressive cultures. But given the amount of attention this video has garnered, we felt it deserves an analysis. In this episode, we're going to not only break down the concepts presented by this matchmaker, but we're also going to talk about traditional gender roles within marriage.

They cheated... Should you stay and work it out or end the relationship? Let's take a look at the data on whether a relationship can ACTUALLY be repaired after cheating.In today's episode, Pye and Dr. Glen dive deep into the stats and discuss the key factors to repairing a relationship and what to look for when deciding whether to stay or move on.

Open relationships have become more and more common, especially among younger generations. But the question is, "do open relationships ACTUALLY work?" From both a science and practical level, are open relationships actually viable, or are they just idealistic and doomed to fail?In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen define an open relationship, discuss why open relationships might be desirable, then go into what's necessary to make an open relationship sustainable long-term. Stick around, because not only will they get into the most common reasons open relationships fail, Pye and Dr. Glen will also be sharing their opinions on open relationships at the end!

In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen continue with breaking down 5 MORE pieces of cliché marriage advice and whether they're any good or just pure junk.

How do healthy relationships work? Platonic or romantic, we all know that relationships have many moving parts, but what are those parts exactly? In this video, we're going to show you how relationships work from the standpoint of CVFT or Core Value Focused Therapy. We're going to show a framework that explains the nature of all healthy relationships, platonic or romantic. Let's dive in!

You've heard them a million times. That same basic relationship advice ad nauseum. But are they even any good?? Let's find out as Pye and Dr. Glen debunk 5 cliché pieces of marriage advice.

Trevor Hanson is an associate marriage & family therapist who has garnered an impressive following on social media sharing tips and advice on healing and healthy communication in relationships.In this episode, Pye and Trevor discuss common negative patterns that appear in relationships and the true messages and emotions underneath these behaviors.

There's a ton of dating advice being shared on TikTok, but are they any good? Let's see what the experts have to say!

In today's episode, Pye and Dr. Glen share their thoughts and advice on some incredibly difficult marriage situations that some of our viewers have graciously shared with us.If you have any questions you'd like to hear on a future episode or a story you'd like to share, you can DM us on Instagram or email us directly. All names and private information will be kept anonymous.

Is our coaching program covered by insurance? Short answer is no. Long answer is a little more complex and requires us to dig into how insurance works when it comes to therapy and coaching.In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen talk about the absolute insanity of insurance for couples therapy and what to expect when seeking help for your relationship.

A vulnerable (inverse) narcissist believes they are entitled due to a painful past experience and are manipulative and controlling, just like a grandiose narcissist. However, the vulnerable narcissist identifies with their pain and wields it as their weapon and can be very sneaky with how they go about getting what they want, especially in relationships. Here are 5 signs that you may be dating a vulnerable (inverse) narcissist.

Do you feel a little distant when you're with your friends or family when it used to be so effortless and easy? It might just mean that you're changing and growing. This happens because people change at different paces and pursue differing values and interests. This is a completely normal fact of life that should be embraced, not avoided, and in this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen walk through 5 signs that you may simply be outgrowing the people around you.

We got our first 1 star review! Was it fair?In this tense social and political environment, we're seeing individuals, groups, and companies get "canceled" and "deplatformed" for their actions and/or statements. But is "cancelling" always the right reaction? Are there alternatives? Listen in to see what Pye and Dr. Glen think about cancel culture.

Whether it be a first time topic or a prepared debate, it's important to understand key aspects of communication and how ideas are shared and received. In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen talk about the importance of knowledge, bias, and context, particularly when having contentious conversations.

This is part 2 of Pye & Dr. Glens' analysis of Jordan Peterson's recently released lecture titled "Doctors & Psychotherapists: Butchers & Liars." Part 1 in the previous episode.

Jordan Peterson recently released a video titled "Doctors & Psychotherapists: Butchers & Liars." In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen share their thoughts and reactions to Dr. Peterson's video.

Dr. Courtney is an accomplished psychotherapist and widely popular mental health content creator under the name "The Truth Doctor."Today, she joins Pye in a discussion around imposter syndrome, where this feeling of being an imposter comes from, and how we can move past it to allow ourselves comfort in our accomplishments and ambitions.

Did you know that how you parent your children will affect their mental health and relationships well into adulthood? In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen discuss attachment theory and the 6 different parenting styles that lead to either secure or insecure attachments later in the child's life.

Why did we opt to call our service "coaching" rather than psychotherapy? People commonly mix them up, however, coaching and therapy are quite different in how they address the needs of their clients and particularly, the goals of the service.In this episode, Pye & Dr. Glen discuss these differences in approaches and what to consider when deciding which one may be better for you.

The end of a relationship can be devastating in many ways. Heartbreak is extremely painful and the first instinct is to try and remove that pain by any means. However, during this sensitive period, it's important to be mindful of your decisions as you heal and to help out, Pye and Dr. Glen provide some great tips for healthily processing the heartache and moving on from a relationship.

Pete Davidson recently shared that he has BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). BPD is not only easy to misunderstand, it's a disorder shared by many highly successful people. In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen do a deep dive on Borderline Personality Disorder. What is BPD? What does it look like and what can it be often confused for? How do you manage BPD or create/maintain relationships with people that have this disorder?

Cheaters are ultimately responsible for the act of cheating itself, but there's usually a much more complicated picture of the relationship that gets lost in the betrayal and shock. We can agree that cheating is bad, but does that make the cheater a bad person? The answer isn't so black and white.

We've discussed the Narcissist vs. People Pleaser dynamic and how it's the perfect toxic storm in a previous episode, but today's episode is all about what narcissism actually is. Pye and Dr. Glen dive deep into the wide spectrum of narcissism, what exactly goes on in the mind of a narcissist, and the nuances of this often misunderstood personality disorder.

Unconditional love is commonly seen as the ideal kind of love. A guaranteed and secure kind of love, much like a parent's love for their child. Unconditional love is also often expected within a romantic relationship. However, does such a love exist? Pye and Dr. Glen debate whether love and relationships can truly be unconditional or if all relationships, regardless of circumstance, are bound by some terms and expectations.

Having children or not is one of the most important decisions a couple has to make. It's a life changing choice and a difference in positions can cause deep rifts, but is calling it quits or conceding the answer? Can the difference be reconcilable? Will I or my partner change over time?This is a common discussion among couples and one that needs to be handled with careful thought and consideration. To help, Pye and Dr. Glen discuss their perspectives on addressing this conflict and making a sound decision that won't lead down a road of regret.

How do we convey empathy through a digital medium? How can we communicate complex ideas in simple and relatable ways to a broader audience?Matthias Barker is a therapist and popular content creator on topics around mental health and personal development. Widely known for his viral short-form videos, Matthias has mastered the ability to relay complex messages in a way that viewers of all ages and backgrounds can relate to and understand. Communication is at the center of it all and Pye and Matthias dig a little deeper into how he developed this critical skill through his upbringing and rise into his career as well as how we, ourselves, can become better communicators.Learn more about Matthias' various mental health workshops:➜ Workshops: https://matthiasjbarker.com/Be sure to visit Matthias' podcast as well as his social media channels:➜ Matthias J. Barker Podcast: https://apple.co/3QVTxVI➜ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matthiasjbarker/➜ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@matthiasjbarker➜ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/MatthiasBarker

We talk a lot about our 12 week programs and how they're designed to help you become your own relationship expert in 12 weeks, hence our name, 12 Week Relationship.Lately, we've been getting a ton of questions asking what are the programs actually like? What is C.V.F.T.™? What do we actually do over the course of the 12 weeks? In this episode, Pye and Dr. Glen dive into the upcoming 12 Week Life & Relationships Group Coaching program and what you can expect while going through the process.Enroll early here for the 12 Week Life & Relationships Group Coaching Program!➜ https://bit.ly/3OMFtfl

A relationship built around trauma can be difficult to spot because they can feel "right" in so many ways. They fulfill deep needs created by past traumas and we tend to mistake that fulfillment for closeness and connection. The bonds and beliefs created by these wounds can be so powerful that they can blind each partner to deep differences in values and interests that would otherwise throw the relationship into question.Pye and Dr. Glen discuss 5 common signs that a relationship is built around trauma and how these relationships can negatively affect other areas of life if left to continue.

Conflict is stressful and it's easy to get lost in our elevated emotions. Nobody likes feeling attacked or one may be dead set on making their point. Either way, reason can tend to take a back seat and ego take the wheel, unnecessarily fanning the flames and prolonging the conflict.However, conflict is inevitable and necessary for growth and healthy dialogue is key to finding an effective resolution. To do so, Pye and Dr. Glen walk through 5 commonly made mistakes to avoid during conflict and provide alternative approaches to more productive conversations.

So far in our Roadmap episodes, we've discussed Desire and Quality Time as two key components for what makes a successful relationship and what happens when either are absent. Today, we're going to discuss the final piece of the Stupid-Simple Relationship Method: Sustainability.Sustainability dictates our emotional cost in maintaining a relationship. When we say a relationship lacks Sustainability, what we're saying is that the emotional costs are so high that it's eroding our Desire to continue the relationship. Without Sustainability, we can't close the loop and continue feeding Desire. We stop wanting the relationship because “it's just not worth the effort.”While within Sustainability, we can find the reasons WHY your relationships end, we can also find also the solutions on HOW to keep your relationships healthy.

Today, we're tackling some more of our community-submitted relationship questions.Our community is important to us! We love hearing your feedback and answering your questions. If you're curious about anything relationship related, you can DM us your questions on Instagram at @12weekrelationships. While we don't offer direct relationship advice, we may select your question for an upcoming Q&A episode. Don't worry, we 100% respect your privacy so we promise your name will remain anonymous.This is the second part of our latest relationship Q&A so be sure to check out Part 1 (Episode #52)

When relationships grow apart, we often hear people fall back on explanations like "We just got too busy," or "We don't live near each other anymore." But the reality is that the relationship ended because it was nothing more than a casual relationship that was supported by circumstance rather than deliberate choice.Within these situational relationships, or Situationships, Desire is not a factor because the Quality Time is created by a circumstance such as work or school, and Desire to pursue more never develops. So when the circumstance that created the Situationship is no longer there, the relationship naturally grows apart.Situationships still provide great value, meaning, and emotional benefit to our lives within the context of the circumstance, so it's important to enjoy them for what they are while taking the time to understand what propels some relationships forward, while others remain at a distance.

Like any relationship dynamic, some level of fighting and disagreements is expected in a family. There are healthy ways to settle disagreements but toss in a bit of dysfunction and things can quickly spin out of control.For those constantly finding themselves in the middle of family drama, seemingly to no end, Pye and Dr. Glen lay out some real-life examples and tips for diffusing the situation as well as healthier alternatives to approaching sensitive issues with family.

Why is it that most of our acquaintances never turn into friendships? Along the same lines, why do most of our friendships tend to fade over time? What we're getting at here is Desire.Desire is essentially the "want" for the relationship. The emotional benefits that justify your efforts to create a new relationship or support your choice to spend time with an existing one. Without Desire, friendships and relationships fade away or simply never form.So what creates Desire and why can it be so fleeting?

We're back with more community-submitted relationship questions!We love collaborating with our incredible community so if you're curious about anything relationship related, you can DM us your questions on Instagram at @12weekrelationships! While we don't offer direct relationship advice, we may select your question for an upcoming Q&A episode. We respect your privacy so we promise your name will remain anonymous.

Most of the relationships you create will fail to have long term significance. Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with you! This truth applies to virtually everyone. Of all the people you'll encounter in your lifetime, a small portion will be a part of your social sphere. An even smaller portion will become close friends, and even fewer, intimate relationships.Who you spend your time with will also significantly influence who you become, and so because our resources are so limited, we owe it to ourselves to cultivate the right relationships.

A healthy relationship is energizing and allows for each partner to be the best version of themselves without judgement. On the other hand, an unhealthy relationship leaves you feeling drained, anxious, and hesitant to be your true self. To help better understand if you're in an unhealthy relationship, Pye and Dr. Glen walk through some common signs and behaviors that may indicate a need for change.

As soon as it happened, the questions began pouring in. We're talking about the Will Smith / Chris Rock controversy at this year's Academy Awards. So what really happened?? There are some interesting arguments being made including who's really at fault or whether this was about preserving masculinity and honor. In hopes of putting to bed some claims being shared on the internet, Pye and Dr. Glen provide some experts' insight on what this incident may have really been about.

Through years of research, Pye simplified a relationship into three simple core components: Desire, Quality Time, and Sustainability. These three make up a loop called the Stupid-Simple Relationship Method, or SSRM. If a relationship runs into trouble, it often means that one or more of these three components is missing or has begun to fade.This stupid-simple formula is designed to help you better understand why some relationships work and others don't. And this applies to all of your relationships, not just your romantic ones.

In order to tell whether a relationship is healthy or not, look closely at their body language and subtle behaviors. These will often reveal more than words. Certain behaviors can indicate differences in values that will later become major conflicts. Certain body language can also indicate how each partner regards one another. Keep in mind that some of these signs can be subtle. But too many in a row can be a huge red flag.Using years of observations, Pye and Dr. Glen have compiled a list of subtle signs that can indicate a relationship's health and this is part 2 of that list.

Pye and Dr. Glen asked 30+ professionals, "What does a healthy relationship look like?" And not one could provide an adequate answer and we're talking counselors, marriage therapists, relationship experts, life/relationship coaches, psychologists, etc.Their answers were no better than the bad relationship advice floating out there in the world. You know, the statements that sound profound but offer little-to-no actionable guidance?Upon further research, Pye and Dr. Glen discovered deep flaws in couple's therapy and the reasons that made them so statistically ineffective.Thus, 12 Week Relationships was created, with the goal of simplifying the complex world of relationships and providing effective and actionable guidance that leads to positive and long lasting change.

Children are highly complex and intuitive. They're naturally filled with creativity, energy, and emotion. It's a parent's role to foster and nurture these qualities to ensure the children grow up with the necessary skills to healthily express themselves, handle conflict, and process emotions.Amanda Lee, creator of My Mommy the Artist, shares 4 great tips for communicating effectively with children and creating a safe learning environment as the children become exposed to new and increasingly complex challenges.

Our entire mission is to simplify the complex subject of relationships and to help in your journey by sharing practical and actionable guidance, backed by science and real-world research.Because we're constantly looking for new science and data to improve every aspect of what we do, we're always creating new content! This is why we're creating a newsletter called the TWR Roadmap, where Pye and Dr. Glen have an opportunity to guide you along this journey in a step-by-step format.➜ Join the TWR Roadmap Newsletter here: https://12weekrelationships.com/➜ One on One Coaching Waitlist : https://12weekrelationships.com/join-the-waitlist/

Narcissism comes in many colors and Shake and Deepti are two different shades. Nuance is important when discussing narcissism and the role it plays in trauma-based relationships, particularly Shake and Deepti's. While that nuance seems to have been completely missed by the cast of Love is Blind, Pye and Dr. Glen are here to analyze Shake and Deepti's complex relationship and the heated exchange that ensued between Shake and the cast.

Shayne and Natalie from Love is Blind Season 2 are a perfect example of trauma bonding. Not only that, but Pye and Dr. Glen make the argument that they are the worst possible match for one another. It may be hard to believe. After all, trauma bonding is powerful and can be mistaken for love. However, behind Shayne's aloofness and Natalie's charm are deep underlying differences in values and world views that quickly unraveled the relationship. By the reunion episode, all that remained seemed to be pain, blame, and clear signs that it was perhaps, for the best.