Dr. Ross Greene

Thanks to a caller, we got a wonderful gift by helping to restore her hope, perspective, and energy for Plan B!  Lots of good info about how to go from Plan C to Plan B, plus ALSUP and drilling tips.

On our last program before the Summer break, we talked with two callers about what to do when solutions aren't truly mutually satisfactory.

We covered a few emails on today's program, including one from a parent that sparked a great conversation about whether Plan B is a way to get the adult's expectation met - the answer is "possibly" - listen for details!  Also, trouble shooting screen time-related Plan B.

An abbreviated (30 minutes) program today, but lots of territory covered...including how to apply Plan B to disrespectful behaviors. (Hint: you won't be working on the disrespect directly.)

You can't solve everything at once, so you'll have to be selective in choosing problems to start solving first. The algorithm: safety, frequency, and gravity. Thanks to a mom who called in, you'll get a real-life example on this program.  

The standard advice is defuse, de-escalate, and keep everyone safe. But Collaborative & Proactive Solutions goes further than that. It's crucial to identify and solve the problem that caused the child to become physically aggressive in the first place. Once the problem is solved, the child won't become physically aggressive in response to it anymore. And if you're only defusing, de-escalating, and keeping everyone safe, the problem won't get solved.

Lots of helpful topics covered today including adjusting the model for kids with language difficulties, drilling for information, wording unsolved problems, and more!

If only solving problems collaboratively was really easy! Well, sometimes it is, but sometimes some fairly common roadblocks can get in the way, and on today's program we talked about a bunch of 'em, thanks to our callers and emailers.

Well, aside from providing guidance to a few parents on diffiuclties they're experiencing with their children, we also heard from a parent who feels strongly that government shouldn't tell parents how to parent. While we didn't agree completely, it gave us a good opportunity to listen, something that seems in short supply these days...

On our first program of the fall, we heard from a mom who's having trouble engaging her son in Plan B...and having trouble keeping her energy up to stick with the process. Hopefully the guidance of our panel was helpful.

Does behavior belong in step 2?  How do you find your "window in" with a reluctant older teen?  Dealing with guilt over giving in...all these topics and more were covered on today's episode.

But probably not the "f" word you're thinking of. And, when it comes to wording unsolved problems well, even "f" words are relevant.

Two callers provided lots of great conversation today - everything from sibling strife, can an adult's concern be "I feel disrespected," and how to revisit a solution that isn't working.

On the first Tuesday of every month, at 11 am Eastern time, from September through May, Dr. Ross Greene and Lives in the Balance Director of Outreach Kim Hopkins-Betts – along with parents Stella Hastings and Jennifer Tretheway -- cover a wide range of topics related to behaviorally challenging kids in general and the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) model in particular.  You can call into the program to get your questions answered or submit them via email here.  And, if you can't listen live, all the programs are archived in the Listening Library on the Lives in the Balance website and on i-Tunes.

Findings from the Lives in the Balance survey on Parenting During the Pandemic are now available on the Lives in the Balance website, and were discussed at the beginning of the program. Then we heard from a mom whose first attempt at Plan B went a lot better than she realized.

Thanks to four parents who emailed us with questions, this podcast provides a great overview of the basic components of identifying and solving problems collaboratively and proactively. Nothing beats real life...

On the second Tuesday of every month, at 11 am Eastern time, from September through May, Dr. Ross Greene and Lives in the Balance Director of Outreach Kim Hopkins-Betts – along with parents Stella Hastings and Jennifer Tretheway -- cover a wide range of topics related to behaviorally challenging kids in general and the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) model in particular.  You can call into the program to get your questions answered or submit them via email here.  And, if you can't listen live, all the programs are archived in the Listening Library on the Lives in the Balance website and on i-Tunes. 

After helping a mom sort through the ins and outs of doing Plan B with her son, we turned our attention to email, including one from a mom who was concerned that doing Plan B meant she was always going to be accomodating her son's problems. Good to get that cleared up.

On today's program, we responded to a mom whose son was having difficulty participating in the Define Adult Concerns step and Invitation step of Plan B, prompting some hopefully helpful words of wisdom from our panel. Also covered: should consuquences be used in tandem with Plan B...and should parents explain Plan B to kids before doing it?

And we're back...with the first segment of Parenting Your Challenging Child of the fall, after a very tumultuous summer. We responded to two moms with specific concerns about how to approach unsolved problems using Plans B and C, but a lot of the themes were the same as usual, whether related to parenting or society: the importance of listening to each other, empathizing with one another's concerns, and solving problems collaboratively.

Whether the schools in your neck of the woods are opening or not, the pandemic continues to present parents with major challenges. Here's your opportunity to vent, ask questions, and share ideas, and get some guidance from Dr. Greene, Kim Hopkins-Betts, and Deb Hagler, M.D.

We had quite the response to the free screening of The Kids We Lose, and our first followup discussion of the film just wasn't enough. So we're doing it again. And we'd especially like to hear from those of you who have reduced or eliminated restraints and seclusions in your schools.

COVID-19 is clearly a formidable disease, and many have suffered because of it. And the pandemic has definitely added some new expectations to the mix for kids, parents, and educators: too much togetherness, distance learning, and social distancing among them. Yet the way to approach these expectations -- especially if kids are having diffiuclty meeting them -- has been there all along. So, with apologies for the silver lining, these trying times do present us with an opportunity to model and practice some pretty importand things...

Thanks for participating in the free screening of The Kids We Lose. This one-hour, online discussion with Dr. Ross Greene is your chance to ask questions about or comment on the film. To participate in the discussion directly, call (347) 994-2981.

On this program, a very endearing grandma called in to get some guidance before trying her first Plan B with her grandson. Yes, Plan B is a different animal, but perfection is not the goal. She sounds like she's ready...now it's time to take the leap.

After checking in regarding how everyone is fairing with the COVID-19 restrictions, we talked in detail about the emergency application of Plans A, B, and C thanks to an emailer's question.  We also addressed whether the lagging skill of chronic irritability and/or anxiety can be addressed through proactive Plan B.

Collaboration and empathy have never been more important. But let's get practical: school is closed, your kids are home, and you need some guidance! Listen in on this special edition of Parenting Your Challenging Child!

Great conversation today about surviving school vacations, expectations for connecting with family, and what to do when you find yourself in the heat of the moment when out in public

We followed up on a B Team conversation about how do you know your expectations are reasonable?  Thanks to two emails, we tackled the notion that "too much power" is given to kids when we use Plan B, those addictive screens, and the idea that lagging skills are for lenses.

Holidays are a tough time for families, perhaps especially those with kids with social, emotional, and behavioral challenges. But it doesn't have to be that way, especially if parents are being responsive to the hand they've been dealt.

Started out with some technical difficulties but ended up with a fantastic episode!  Thanks to a caller, we talked about how to get started with the model, uses of the model, and wording of unsolved problems.  We also answered two emails - one about how the model works with young kids and one about using the model with an impulsive kid.

Lots of great updates from the Summer, then we covered an email from a parent who was interested to know how we view the ADHD diagnosis.  Thanks to a caller, we took a deep dive into using Plan B with screen time.

On our last program for the 2018-19 school year, we talked with a caller about her son's school frustrations and how to best work with the school.  Covered two emails as well - one asking about the PDA diagnosis and how to work with non-verbal kids, the other asking what to do when kids don't talk and when they don't follow through on solutions.

Thanks to a caller, we covered a lot CPS territory today including the need for a meeting of the minds among a child's team to make real progress, when to seek help to get to that consensus, and the importance of how to word unsolved problems.

Dr. Greene discussed the concept of screen "addiction" and whether Plan B can be helpful (it can!).  We also answered an email from a mom struggling with an aggressive 5 year old, and a family where the child will not talk to mom.

After a revisit of the role of Plan C, a caller got some ideas to troubleshoot her Plan B attempt with her daughter about stealing her sister's belongings.  A mother emailed in about her son "refusing to change."  ...and some fantastic updates about our documentary, The Kids We Lose!

The crew fielded lots of emails on today's program, along with a phone call with a mom who needed some help with Plan B. But the key theme of the program: when you're doing Plan B, you're not focused on dealing with a child's behavior in the heat of the moment...you're solving the problems that are causing those behaviors...and you're doing it collaboratively and proactively.

Lots covered on today's show thanks to many emailed questions (despite some technical issues): My son won't get off his phone to talk, what to do when big behaviors happen - won't my kid think it's ok to act that way?, work with 3-6 year olds in a Montessori setting, and expectations that aren't optional.

On this episode, we covered lots of questions that came in via email - how do consequences fit in with CPS?  When is it choice and when is it not?  The importance of self-care.  Can't get my kid to talk to me...to name a few.

On our first radio program of the fall, we heard from a mom who's having trouble getting her husband on boad with solving problems collaboratively with their child. There seems to be a lot of that going around, and the mom came away with lots of ideas. Listen to the program and you will too. 

On the first Monday of every month, at 11 am Eastern time, from September through May, Dr. Ross Greene and Lives in the Balance Director of Outreach Kim Hopkins-Betts – along with parents Stella Hastings and Jennifer Tretheway -- cover a wide range of topics related to behaviorally challenging kids in general and the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) model in particular.  You can call into the program to get your questions answered or submit them via email here.  And, if you can't listen live, all the programs are archived in the Listening Library on the Lives in the Balance website or through i-Tunes. 

Lots covered on this month's program including why use CPS with neurotypical kids?  Help for a father who can't get his kid to talk and specifics about Plan C.

Dr. Greene joined in the program today to offer reflections on the Parkland tragedy, and to partake in our continued discussion about what to do when your co-parent is not on board with CPS, as well as can you do CPS with young kids?

Lots of territory covered on today's program: How do you keep drilling when a kid says he doesn't have a problem with the unsolved problem? What do you do when the kid talks but says a lot of things that don't seem to have anything to do with the unsolved problem? What do you do when your co parent isn't on board with CPS?

We covered some important territory on today's program...on one call, a mom needed some reassurance that the Plan C she was doing with her daughter represented her conscious, deliberate effort to stabilize things...and that getting some Plan B back into the mix is her next step. 

Alas, the holidays are upon us, and it's the time of year when people are often nicer, kinder, gentler, more patient, and more empathic. So what's going wrong this year? Good to be reminded that we all do well if we can, and that we all exhibit challenging behavior (some more severe than others) when expectations outstrip skills. But we also a lot of trouble-shooting on today's program...

Thanks to the questions of a caller and a few emailers, we discussed how to get started with the CPS model, what to do if a solution isn't working, what to do with "I don't know," and how to handle defiance in the heat of the moment.

Siblings that don't play well together, the word "no," what to do in the heat of the moment, and what to do when a solution doesn't work...all covered on today's program, thanks to our B Team Parent Leaders and the fantastic questions we received from listeners!

On our first program of the new broadcast year, Dr. Greene welcomed his new co-hosts, Kim Hopkins-Betts (Director of Outreach at Lives in the Balance) and Jennifer, a B Team leader and parent. They were able to respond to several emails, including one from a mom who's been struggling with her behaviorally challenging 14-year old daughter for a very long time and who hasn't experienced much joy as a parent in recent memory. 

So, if a parent feels like his or her lagging skills are contributing to challenging episodes with his or her child, then how does the parent learn the skills? The same way the kid does: by participating in Plan B, preferably proactively.

There sure are a lot of parents who are struggling with trying to get their schools to solve problems collaboratively with their students...and we heard from many of those parents on today's program.