Podcast appearances and mentions of ross greene

Send us a textIn this bonus episode, Diana is joined by bilingual psychologist Dr. Susan Acosta, an expert in child and adolescent development who works with families to support emotional wellness through every stage—from infancy to young adulthood. Together, they explore how light structure during the summer months can reduce stress, support emotional development, and create more ease in your household—without making things feel rigid or overwhelming. If you've ever wondered how to keep your kids grounded while still letting them enjoy a relaxing summer, this episode is for you.   What We Cover in This Episode: Why even minimal structure is beneficial for kids during summer Signs your child may need more routine than you think How to find the right balance between freedom and consistency Ways to involve kids in creating their own summer rhythm Tips for a smoother back-to-school transition Age-appropriate routines for toddlers through teens A mention of The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Greene and how it relates to emotional outbursts during unstructured time   Resource Mentioned: The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Greene – A helpful guide for parents navigating behavioral challenges with empathy and structure   Connect with Dr. Susan Acosta: Learn more about Dr. Acosta's work and services:

As a clinical psychologist, Dr. Ross Greene believes that many approaches that are used with students with challenging or concerning behaviors have taken the wrong approach to helping students learn and develop trust in their learning environments and others. As the founder of the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions Model, his goal is to change disciplinary practices to practices based on deeply understanding each child or student's perspective, and helping them problem solve through difficult situations that they face. Barry and Dave explore with Dr. Greene's how his approach support students in more effective and respectful ways.Learn more on our website See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Today, we are talking about one of the most accessible and impactful tools we've got to help our kids thrive. But this tool is so simple and obvious that we may not even realize its immense power. I'm talking about WORDS, as in, the words we use when talking with our children. The language we use with our children can make a profound difference in the way our kids relate to themselves and how their brains process situations.  We're going to explore this concept with Lily Howard Scott, an educator, speaker, and author of the new book,The Words That Shape Us: The Science-Based Power of Teacher Language. Lily has spent nearly a decade teaching elementary school and now helps educators create classrooms where children feel known, valued, and empowered. She's passionate about the ways language can influence how kids see themselves, process emotions, and build resilience, and she wrote this book to help teachers, parents, and any other adults who work with children positively transform how students think, feel, and achieve through effectively tapping into this tool that everyone has access to. During our conversation, Lily shares how small shifts in the way we speak to children—both at home and in the classroom—can make a huge difference in their confidence, emotional intelligence, and ability to navigate challenges. We talked about practical strategies, like using metaphors to help kids manage emotions and reframing how we talk about mistakes and setbacks. Lily also explained the role that words play in fostering a sense of belonging and emotional safety in children, which is essential for learning and growth, especially for neurodivergent kids who may struggle with self-perception. These are small shifts that can make a huge difference, so I hope you can take these suggestions and apply them right after you finish listening to this episode. Enjoy my conversation with Lily Howard Scott.   About Lily Howard Scott Lily Howard Scott (MSEd) is an educator and author. Her work is centered around helping children navigate their inner lives, connect with each other, and take the risks that lead to meaningful learning. Scott presents regularly at national conferences, and her writing about the importance of a child-centric, holistic approach to teaching and learning has been published in Edutopia and The Washington Post, among other publications. For nearly 10 years, Lily taught elementary school in both public and independent settings. She lives in Brooklyn with her husband and two young children. The Words That Shape Us (Scholastic) is her first book   Things you'll learn from this episode Why the language we use shapes how children see themselves, influencing their confidence, emotional intelligence, and self-perception The way that subtle shifts in language can create big changes, helping children navigate emotions, embrace mistakes as learning opportunities, and build self-compassion Why connection and belonging are essential—children thrive in environments where they feel known, valued, and encouraged to take risks How using language tools like "president decider" for thoughts and "feelings as visitors" can help kids manage emotions and self-talk in healthy ways. Why it's never too late to start using intentional, supportive language that clarifies feelings, reduces shame, and nurtures creativity and self-trust.   Resources mentioned Lily Howard Scott's Website The Words that Shape Us: The Science-Based Practice of Teacher Language by Lily Howard Scott Lily on Instagram The Antiromantic Child: A Memoir of Unexpected Joy by Priscilla Gilman How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain by Lisa Feldman Barrett Dr. Bruce Perry Dr. Richard Schwartz & Internal Family Systems Rainer Maria Rilke Ish: Creatilogy by Peter Reynolds David Foster Wallace On Children by Kahlil Gibran Dr. Ross Greene on Using CPS with Very Young Kids (Tilt Parenting podcast) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, I'm joined by the incredible Marissa Taylor, an Aussie, a passionate advocate for neurodivergent children and a mum to five neurodivergent kiddos.She shares how emotional intelligence has completely changed her parenting and why so many neurodivergent children are being missed, dismissed, or even punished in schools - simply for being themselves.We also dive into:✨ The lens shift parents and teachers need to truly support neurodivergent kids (hello, Dr. Ross Greene!)✨ Why the mainstream school system often fails kids emotionally and academically✨ Why so many parents are turning to homeschooling (and whether it might be right for you)✨ PDA: Pathological Demand Avoidance (or Persistent Drive for Autonomy!), what it is and how to parent a PDA kiddo✨ How Marissa courageously navigates burnout as an ND family - such profound message in there.This episode is packed with insights, eye-openers, and of course emotional intelligence at the heart of it all. Whether you're a parent, teacher, or just someone who wants to understand neurodiversity better, you neeeed this conversation in your life.

Hello Brave Friends! Welcome to today's practical episode, #205. These are conversations with experts in fields relevant to caregiving parents. In this episode, Susanna Peace Lovell interviews Dr. Laura Froyen, who shares her journey as a parent and expert in human development. They discuss the challenges of parenting neurodiverse children, the importance of understanding different neurotypes, and the need for new parenting skills. Dr. Froyen introduces the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions model, emphasizing its accessibility and effectiveness in addressing parenting challenges. In this conversation, Laura Froyen, PhD, discusses the unique challenges faced by children with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) and introduces the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS) model as a framework for effective parenting. She emphasizes the importance of compassion, understanding, and breaking down tasks into manageable steps to support children with executive functioning difficulties. The discussion also highlights the significance of involving children in problem-solving processes and offers resources for parents seeking guidance and support.Connect with Dr. Laura Froyen here.Find Dr. Laura Froyen on IG here.Find Dr. Laura Froyen on Facebook here.Find the Balancing U Membership here.Find The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Greene here.Find the Lives in the Balance website here.Find our first book from We Are Brave Together here.Find full episodes from Season 7 and clips from Season 8 on Youtube here.This episode was sponsored by Rise Educational Advocacy. Brave Together is the podcast for We are Brave Together, a not-for-profit organization based in the USA. The heart of We Are Brave Together is to strengthen, encourage, inspire and validate all moms of children with disabilities and other needs in their unique journeys. JOIN the international community of We Are Brave Together here.Donate to our Retreats and Respite Scholarships here.Donate to keep this podcast going here.Can't get enough of the Brave Together Podcast?Follow us on Instagram or on Facebook.Feel free to contact Jessica Patay via email: jpatay@wearebravetogether.orgIf you have any topic requests or if you would like to share a story, leave us a message here.Please leave a review and rating today! We thank you in advance!Disclaimer

I terminens sista avsnitt gör redaktionen ett specialavsnitt där vi ser tillbaka på innehållet och funderar kring hur begreppet elevhälsa tagit form i de olika avsnitten. I det dagliga arbetet riktar vi oftast fokuset på samtiden och det vi måste lösa just nu. Men ibland är det bra att titta bakåt för lärdomar eller framåt för nya visioner. Vad fick Stefan att starta upp podden och hur var det att intervjua Ross Greene på engelska? Vad tänker vi om eventuella kommande förändringar av elevhälsans organisation utifrån regeringens utredning ”En förbättrad elevhälsa” och vad har vi för uppslag för kommande avsnitt i Elevhälsopodden? Dessutom önskar Elevhälsopodden dig en god jul och gott nytt år med hopp om en ljusare framtid genom en nyskriven juldikt! Har du som lyssnare förslag på kommande innehåll eller kommentarer om det vi gjort så kontakta oss gärna.

Nicole Burke and Beth Mand interview Dr. Ross Greene

Nicole Burke and Beth Mand interview Dr. Ross Greene

Julie Cox is the mother of all PANS PANDAS therapists and she has been working with these children and families for the last 20 years after her daughter got the illness. She has poured her personal and professional knowledge and compassion into her therapy work with sufferers. A big part of that is also coaching parents and families on how to survive when the going gets tough - as it frequently does due to the waxing and waning nature of the illness. Sound familiar?! In this warm chat, Julie weaves in her personal experiences and professional expertise. Explaining how validation for parents is important, emphasising how therapists must work with these children differently and recommending lots of resources (Stephen Porges, Deb Dana, Dan Siegel and Dr Ross Greene).  I loved chatting with her and was sorry we ran out of time as we had so much to say. The good news is she has promised to come back later in the year. Thank you, Julie! For more information on her therapy practice in NY  https://www.juliecox.org/pandas-pans-therapy-westchester-ny and her global 1:1 parent coaching sessions at www.parentingwithpans.com/coaching She is about to start a membership with video lessons and group support. 

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2686: Adina Soclof, author of Parenting Simply, provides insights into helping children transition smoothly between activities, highlighting the importance of understanding their temperamental traits. Drawing on works like "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka and "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene, Soclof offers practical strategies for parents to manage their children's adaptability challenges and emphasizes the value of patience, routine, and effective communication. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://parentingsimply.com/cant-switch-gears-helping-kids-transition/ Quotes to ponder: "You don't like change." "You like routines and plans." "You came right when I called even though you were in the middle of your favorite game." Episode references: The Explosive Child: https://www.amazon.com/Explosive-Child-Understanding-Frustrated-Chronically/dp/0062270451 Raising Your Spirited Child: https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Your-Spirited-Child-Third/dp/0062403060 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover all of the podcasts in our network, search for specific episodes, get the Optimal Living Daily workbook, and learn more at: OLDPodcast.com. Episode 2686: Adina Soclof, author of Parenting Simply, provides insights into helping children transition smoothly between activities, highlighting the importance of understanding their temperamental traits. Drawing on works like "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka and "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene, Soclof offers practical strategies for parents to manage their children's adaptability challenges and emphasizes the value of patience, routine, and effective communication. Read along with the original article(s) here: https://parentingsimply.com/cant-switch-gears-helping-kids-transition/ Quotes to ponder: "You don't like change." "You like routines and plans." "You came right when I called even though you were in the middle of your favorite game." Episode references: The Explosive Child: https://www.amazon.com/Explosive-Child-Understanding-Frustrated-Chronically/dp/0062270451 Raising Your Spirited Child: https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Your-Spirited-Child-Third/dp/0062403060 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Children who are quick to anger and lash out may be labeled oppositional or defiant. Ross Greene, Ph.D., introduces his Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) model, which empowers caregivers to rethink challenging behaviors as frustration responses. PDA and ODD: More Resources Download: 10 Rules for Ending Confrontation & Defiance Read: The Facts About ODD and Attention Deficit Read: Back From the Brink: Two Families' Stories of Oppositional Defiant Disorder eBook: The Parent's Guide to ADHD Discipline Access the video and slides for podcast episode #515 here: https://www.additudemag.com/webinar/pathological-demand-avoidance-odd-collaborative-proactive-solutions/ Thank you for listening to ADDitude's ADHD Experts podcast. Please consider subscribing to the magazine (additu.de/subscribe) to support our mission of providing ADHD education and support.

#singleparenting #teensdepression In this episode of "Single Parent Success Stories," Kristina Saelee opens up about her experiences as a single mother of four, navigating the challenges of raising teens with depression. From young marriage to divorce and the journey to building new relationships, Kristina shares her raw and insightful story. She discusses finding affordable housing, balancing work and school, and the critical importance of building a support network. Discover her strategies for connecting with and advocating for teens, managing mental health issues, and creating a safe and supportive environment. Don't miss her powerful tips for resilience and overcoming single parent struggles. Key Topics: Parenting teens with depressionSingle mom challenges and successBuilding support networksAdvocacy and connection for mental health

I refer to Dr. Ross Greene's Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) model in just about every talk I give to a parent community. Dr. Greene's quote “Kids do well when they can” changed my life when I first read it about 15 years ago, and it remains as powerful today. So I was especially excited to welcome back to the show child psychologist and author Dr. Ross Greene to talk about how his problem solving model can be effectively used with very young children, even infants. If you are new to CPS, I highly encourage you to go back and listen to our first conversation for the show, where we explored this approach in detail. But in the meantime, in this conversation we delved into why it's crucial to shift from a compliance-focused approach to one of collaboration and understanding, even starting as early as age two. We also talked about how what we often label as a "difficult baby" is actually an infant struggling to meet our expectations, how using CPS can significantly enhance their well-being, and why we want to question the underlying reasons behind adult concerns — all of these are concept explored in the powerful new documentary, It's Never Too Early: CPS with Very Young Kids. Ross W. Greene, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and the originator of the innovative, evidence-based approach called Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS), as described in his influential books The Explosive Child, Lost at School, Lost & Found, and Raising Human Beings. He also developed and executive produced the award-winning documentary film The Kids We Lose, released in 2018. Dr. Greene was on the faculty at Harvard Medical School for over 20 years, and is now founding director of the non-profit Lives in the Balance. He is also currently adjunct Professor in the Department of Psychology at Virginia Tech and adjunct Professor in the Faculty of Science at the University of Technology in Sydney, Australia. Dr. Greene has worked with several thousand kids with concerning behaviors and their caregivers, and he and his colleagues have overseen implementation and evaluation of the CPS model in countless schools, inpatient psychiatric units, and residential and juvenile detention facilities, with dramatic effect: significant reductions in recidivism, discipline referrals, detentions, suspensions, and use of restraint and seclusion.   Never Too Early: CPS with Young Kids (documentary) The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children by Dr. Ross Greene Lives in the Balance (Dr. Greene's website) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, the group talks about what is happening during a PANS/PANDAS flare — to the child, to the parents, to the other children in the house and the extended family. We cover the physical, emotional and social impacts on the entire family unit.   RESOURCES:  Hornets and Hippos Workbook: https://margaretjessoppsyd.com/hornets-and-hippos/  Hornets and Hippos Workshop: https://margaretjessoppsyd.com/hornets-and-hippos/upcoming-workshops/    PANDAS Michiana https://pandasmichiana.com/  PANDAS Physician Network https://www.pandasppn.org/  PANDAS Network https://pandasnetwork.org/understanding-pandas/  Research https://pandasnetwork.org/research/  OCD Family Podcast https://www.ocdfamilypodcast.com/   Parenting Resources: Dr. Ross Greene https://drrossgreene.com/  Dr. Becky Kennedy https://www.goodinside.com/about/  Dr. Dan Siegel https://drdansiegel.com/  Brene Brown (professor and researcher of shame, vulnerability, courage and empathy) https://brenebrown.com/     Songs for parents: Don't Give Up On Me By Andy Grammer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KL9qp0FNEzU  Come Close Now (Feed Your Soul) by Christa Wells https://youtu.be/jIYdZPuqjnY?si=oWT5NwamqjbeZ5db See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Now that we know what is happening during a PANS/PANDAS flare, it's time to discuss how to survive it. In this episode, the group discusses different tools and strategies for helping your PANS/PANDAS child through a flare.   RESOURCES:  Hornets and Hippos Workbook: https://margaretjessoppsyd.com/hornets-and-hippos/  Hornets and Hippos Workshop: https://margaretjessoppsyd.com/hornets-and-hippos/upcoming-workshops/    PANDAS Michiana https://pandasmichiana.com/  PANDAS Physician Network https://www.pandasppn.org/  PANDAS Network https://pandasnetwork.org/understanding-pandas/  Research https://pandasnetwork.org/research/  OCD Family Podcast https://www.ocdfamilypodcast.com/   Parenting Resources: Dr. Ross Greene https://drrossgreene.com/  Dr. Becky Kennedy https://www.goodinside.com/about/  Dr. Dan Siegel https://drdansiegel.com/  Brene Brown (professor and researcher of shame, vulnerability, courage and empathy) https://brenebrown.com/     Songs for parents: Don't Give Up On Me By Andy Grammer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KL9qp0FNEzU  Come Close Now (Feed Your Soul) by Christa Wells https://youtu.be/jIYdZPuqjnY?si=oWT5NwamqjbeZ5dbSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Annie Friday is joined this week by Maile Munson, Director of Advocacy, Outreach and Public Awareness for Lives in the Balance. Lives in the Balance is a non-profit organization dedicated to creating a shift away from punitive, exclusionary discipline practices on a systemic and personal level. The organization was founded by Dr. Ross Greene, a clinical psychologist who was on the faculty at Harvard Medical school; is a New York Times best-selling author; and a practitioner who has worked with children and families for over 30 years. Through his work, Dr. Greene has developed a program called Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS). Maile provides an overview of the CPS program explaining that it's a model that can be used in home or school settings to help adults be in relationship with young people in order to solve problems before they turn into challenging behaviors. This work is intended to help us get out of crisis mode by creating more supportive partnerships and reducing harmful practices like seclusion or corporal punishment. Lives in the Balance has even recently expanded the conversation to include our youngest children with a new program called "Never Too Early" centered on the most effective practices to support even infants and toddlers in this collaborative and proactive model.  Lives in the Balance hosts a free and accessible virtual summit annually where you can find out even more. Listen in on this episode and learn more about how you can be trained to use the model or become an advocator for young people.

In this episode, I'm exploring an approach I've found really effective called collaborative problem-solving. I'll break down the steps so you can understand the process. And I'll share a real example from my own parenting journey - what happened when I tried validating my daughter's perspective and attacking the problem objectively (minimizing emotions) to find a creative solution that she could agree to? Collaborative problem solving has really shifted our dynamic from a battle of wills to a feeling of partnership. Dr. Ross Greene's Book "The Explosive Child"Sensory Detectives Bootcamp Waitlist Episode transcript: https://www.theotbutterfly.com/podcast The OT Butterfly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theotbutterfly Work with Laura: https://www.theotbutterfly.com/parentconsult Buy "A kids book about neurodiversity" : www.theotbutterfly.com/book

Your child doesn't want to do their homework. You offer them a reward if completed. The reward is no longer working, so then you put in a consequence. A full on melt-down occurs. you think back to your parenting toolbelt and try to de-escalate your child. It doesn't work, you end up yelling. Every-one feels awful. Eventually everything settles...but it's just a matter of time before it all happens again. Listen in to today'sincredible episode where Dr. Greene walks through the steps of collabortaive problem solving (applicable to kids as young as 3) and shows you a new framework for dealing with challenging behaviour once and for all! Don't Miss our Summit! The Institute is thrilled to announce our 2024 Spring Parenting Summit which takes place from March 6 to the 8th.  This event will be hybrid with both recorded and live workshops included. We have an incredible lineup of experts speaking on a range of topics all related to fostering resiliency in children. Best part? It is free! Sign up HERE The Parenting Handbook: Your Guide to Raising Resilient Children For a limited time only, buy a copy of our book and recieve a free gift! Yes, you get access to our Compassionate Discipline workshop valued at $87.84. Click here for more info or navigate to www.icphelps.com !  

On this week's episode of Embracing Your Season, host Paige Clingenpeel is joined by Kim Hopkins who is the director of outreach and communications for Lives in the Balance. Lives in the Balance is Dr. Ross Greene's non-profit organization which teaches parents, caregivers, and teachers how to advocate on behalf of kids who have behavior challenges in hopes of changing the system and making sure everyone is getting what they need.Paige's Takeaways:Step 1. Gather information. Why are our kids doing what they are doing? It's usually because they are not equipped to solve the problem at hand. What is causing the tension? If we allow them to express their feelings and concerns, we can work without kids to solve the problem.Step 2. What is our perspective? Why do we want peace in our home? Share with our kids our expectations and perspectives.Step 3. Come back together and invite our children to actually tell us to help alleviate the problem, solve the problem, and come to a mutual conclusion of what works best for all involved.Paige ClingenpeelQuestions About the Podcast? Email: paigeclingenpeel@gmail.comFacebook: Paige ClingenpeelInstagram: paigeclingenpeelYouTube: Embracing Your Season Sponsored by HomeWordHomeWordLives in the BalanceFacebook: LivesinthebalanceContact - Lives in the BalanceOur Solution - Parent LinkBTeam Facebook Group - Learning Model OnlyCPS Model

>>> Power struggles and parenting can be a real challenge, but they don't have to be a constant source of friction and frustration! Click HERE to sign up for my FREE masterclass, From Battles to Bonding: Overcoming Power Struggles now!   Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...     5:10 - Approaching the situation without shame and trying to do our best not to go to the meeting at the school from a defensive frame of mind.   7:55 - Zooming out from the behavior itself to try to understand what types of emotions are leading to these outbursts will allow us to be more effective in "treating" it.   9:50 - Creating a relationship between you and your child's teacher to establish open lines of communication from the beginning of the year can be helpful.   18:02 - If your child is having a lot of meltdowns in school, they are likely hitting an overload point.   20:06 - Identifying if there have been any big changes in a child's life can help you track down the root issue that could be causing their behavioral issues.   20:28 - Ross Greene's Unmet Needs and Lagging Skills framework can be useful for parents in these situations.   24:25 - Communicating to the child that they are having a hard time and we are there to help them to change the behavior, rather than focusing on the behavior itself.     ✨We want to hear from you! Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions! ✨

There are many misconceptions about what it means to be 'gifted'. Today's guest, Julie Skolnick, explains to us that giftedness usually comes with considerable challenges. She also shares ideas and insight on how to support and educate children who are gifted, but also have challenges (sometimes called twice-exceptional).  LINKS Julie's Book, Gifted and Distractible Julie's Website, With Understanding Comes Calm Episode with Ross Greene, founder of CPS and author of The Explosive Child GHF Empowering Gifted Families SPONSORS PrepDish - use prepdish.com/families to get two weeks free + bonus Protein Boost menus in January Paired - 7 day free trial (25% off if you sign up) at paired.com/simple

Mark chats with Jess Meredith - parent of an autistic 6-year old daughter and founder of the wonderful organisation, Differing Minds. Together, they share tales of the absurd amount admin demanded of all parents fighting to get support for their neurodifferent children.  Links to stuff we mention in this episode Differing Minds - https://www.differingminds.co.uk/ "The Explosive Child" by Dr Ross Greene - https://drrossgreene.com/the-explosive-child.htm SEND Family Instincts - https://www.sendfamilyinstincts.com/ Hibi app - https://hibi.health/ Contact us If you have any feedback about the show, ideas for topics or suggestions for neurodiversity champions you'd like us to give a shout out to, you can email: hello@neuroshambles.com Follow us Instagram: www.instagram.com/neuroshambles/ Facebook: www.facebook.com/neuroshambles Reddit: www.reddit.com/r/neuroshambles/ Threads: www.threads.net/@neuroshambles Credits The Neuroshambles theme tune was created by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com/music/beats-energetic-hip-hop-8303/

Eric Gott began working with kids who hold difficult narratives as a play therapist in Nashville, Tennessee. He then became a foster dad, and after 3.5 years of courtroom appointments, he and his wife, Leah, became the legal parents of four young children. Eric now serves as a Children's Minister in Birmingham, Alabama, where he has brought trauma-infused thought to the way the church creates inclusive spaces for kids who may need help regulating emotions and behaviors. And, you'll hear him admit that their new sensory room is a huge hit for adults who may need a change of scenery, too. In this episode, you'll hear how one therapist's philosophies of best practice were challenged when his home also needed to become a therapeutic environment, and how the ways his commitment to his children has been infused into the ways he perceives holistic care for vulnerable kids. Whether you are a therapist, a parent, a church member, or simply a curious listener, you are SURE to take tangible wisdom from this conversation. ... Episode Highlights Guest Introduction for Eric and his professional journey (2:20) How to find the right therapist for your family (4:15) Therapists choose a specialty or theory that leads their practice (6:10) A deeper conversation of play therapy and Lauren's experience with Eric's sandbox (8:30) Age ranges for certain types of therapeutic modalities (13:19) Attachment-based play and developmental trauma vs. DSM diagnoses (15:00) Practicing “Delight” in our kids, even in the midst of chaos (18:47) Treating our children as their emotional age rather than their biological age (23:39) Where American churches should grow in meeting the needs of kids (32:58) Communicating your needs to your community (40:36) ... For more information, details, and episode transcriptions, visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠upwardlydependent.com/shownotes⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. ... Links ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Kindred Exchange⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Become a monthly donor to support this show and our mission ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Emmaus House⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Learn more about their work with orphaned youth in Haiti “The Explosive Child” by Ross Greene, PhD “The Connected Child” by Karyn Purvis, PhD, et al. “You Should be Grateful” by Angela Tucker “What White Parents Should Know about Transracial Adoption” by Melissa Guida-Richards ... Connect with Lauren ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Email⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ / ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Leave a Review⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Parenting kids exposed to trauma is hard. Sometimes, it is very hard, but these families can thrive. In an interview with Creating a Family, Dr. Ross Greene, a Harvard Psychology professor, stressed that it was crucial for parents of children exposed to trauma to realize that kids want to do well, and if they are struggling, it is likely because they are lacking a specific skill needed to succeed.Resources:Helping Children Heal from TraumaPractical Guide to Parenting a Child Exposed to TraumaThe Explosive Child  by Ross GreeneThis podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family buildingPlease leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamilySupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

This is the full interview with Dr Ross Greene, as heard in episodes #721 and #722. Topics discussed in today's episode: The Explosive Child, by Dr Ross Greene an associate clinical professor at Harvard Medical School Kids do well if they can Flexibility & adaptability Problem solving High emotions, low intelligence Lagging skills research Motivation vs ability How to work with intensely rigid children Problem solving Explore, Explain, Empower CPS model Inflexibility + inflexibility = Meltdown Problem solving proactively The truth about consequences Punishment vs problem solving Lives In The Balance Purchase the 2023 Webinar Bundle for $199 and get instant access to $1087 worth of parenting resources!  Get in touch with your questions and feedback to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au Find out more and register for the Raising Resilient Kids Summit.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today, I'm talking about the central and arguably the most challenging idea for many parents to accept in Ross Greene's Collaborative and Proactive Solutions model, or CPS. That is, kids do well if they can do well, not if they want to do well. Come along as we look deeper and explore how to help our kids do better. Links:www.brooklynparenttherapy.comhttps://www.instagram.com/bkparents/Sources:Greene, R. W. (2021). The explosive child [sixth edition]: a new approach for understanding and parenting easily frustrated, chronically inflexible children. Rev. and updated. New York, Harper. Project Parenthood is hosted by Dr. Nanika Coor. A transcript is available at Simplecast.Have a parenting question? Email Dr. Coor at parenthood@quickanddirtytips.com or leave a voicemail at 646-926-3243.Find Project Parenthood on Facebook and Twitter, or subscribe to the Quick and Dirty Tips newsletter for more tips and advice.Project Parenthood is a part of Quick and Dirty Tips.Links: https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/subscribehttps://www.facebook.com/QDTProjectParenthoodhttps://twitter.com/qdtparenthoodhttps://brooklynparenttherapy.com/ 

Traditional parenting methods don't often work for children with ADHD. Have you ever asked either of these questions:  Why don't consequences work with some children?  What can parents do instead of these traditional methods that don't work?  Kim Hopkins is an independently licensed clinical social worker who has specialized in working with behavioral challenged kids for more than 25 years. She has managed the clinical departments of two organizations serving youth and families in residential facilities, foster homes, therapeutic day schools, and homeless shelters.  She has been a Collaborative and Proactive Solutions, which is CPS for short, trainer since 2007, helping schools, residentials, hospitals, and parents to successfully implement the CPS model from Dr. Ross Greene. Kim is also the director of outreach and communication for Dr. Ross Greene's nonprofit, Lives in the Balance.  In this episode, Kim shares tips about how to parent children with ADHD using the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions Model developed by Dr. Ross Greene.    Key Takeaways: [4:09] Why do some kids struggle more than others? [6:10] Why do consequences often NOT work, and what can parents use instead? [9:24] The first step in teaching kids lacking skills [12:55] What parents can do in the heat of the moment (An Explanation of Plan A, B, & C of the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions Model) [16:43] Summary of Plans A, B, & C [17:48] The 3 steps in Plan B [19:13] How long this system takes for families to incorporate [22:56] Resources to help families begin using the CPS Model [24:46] How Kim got started using the CPS Model [26:39] Kim's top tip for parents   Memorable Moments: “Kids who exhibit behavior in the face of problems and frustrations do so because they lack the skills not to. This is a skills deficit situation. A lot of traditional parenting techniques talk about it as being a motivation deficit situation. We don't believe that at all.” ”They [consequences] don't get the job done because they're not doing anything to address skills.” “You can observe their feelings. You can observe their behavior. But it's their thought process that if you had a little glance into would really position you to better help them.” “Pouring on empathy…can really help bring a kid back to baseline.” “The durable, problem-solving, skills-teaching piece happens only proactively.” “Nothing good happens in the heat of the moment. So…let's avoid you even getting there.” ”Step 1 is where you have the empathy step…Step 2 is the define the adult concern step…Step 3 is the invitation step where we're going to invite the kid to consider possible solutions with us that address what they told us in the first step and what we said in the second step.” “A good solution meets two criteria: it's got to be realistic…and it's got to be mutually satisfactory.” “Tune out the noise of all the pressure that people are putting on you….You know your child.”   How to Connect with Kim Hopkins-Betts: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/livesinthebalance  Website: https://livesinthebalance.org/  Dana Kay Resources: Website: https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ADHDThriveInstitute/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adhdthriveinstitute/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/ADHDThriveInstitute  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/adhd-thrive-institute/mycompany/  Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ph/adhdthriveinstitute/  Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhd_thriveinstitute  International Best Selling Book, Thriving with ADHD – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/book/  Free Reduce ADHD Symptoms Naturally Masterclass - https://bit.ly/3GAbFQl  ADHD Parenting Course – https://info.adhdthriveinstitute.com/parentingadhd ADHD Thrive Method 4 Kids Program – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/packages/

Caley earned her Bachelor's Degree in Special Education and her Master's Degree in Early Childhood Education from the University of Florida. For the past 11 years, she has worked in a variety of roles to serve families including: preschool teacher, early interventionist, behavior therapist, and now as a private consultant. Her most recent professional development includes: Conscious Discipline™, The Play Project ™, and training with Dr. Ross Greene on his Collaborative Problem Solving approach. Caley grounds her work in the most up-to-date neuropsychology, Attachment Theory, and developmentally appropriate practices that value the parent-child relationship over compliance. Caley empowers parents to understand children's behavior through brain science and empathy by translating children's behavior into easy to follow steps.The most common experiences people have with their children 3:03Parents that are time poor 11:12Triggering moments for kids 19:48Saying yes to one thing is saying no to another 31:17Working from home and dealing with meltdowns 41:55Feeding behaviors 48:58“We're all in stress response. Stress mode. Survival mode. I'm not able to teach effectively and my child is not able to learn whatever I'm doing. So then all I'm doing is all these scripts from my childhood or my past experiences are coming out. ‘Don't talk to me that way, that's not nice, why would you hurt your brother? You know better than that.' All of that stuff. I'm not really teaching then.” 25:49@caleykuklahttps://www.caleykukla.com/https://www.facebook.com/theirishmummy/https://www.instagram.com/the_irish_mummy/Pick up a copy of Journal to Joy. My NEW 90 Day Goals, Gratitude & Affirmation Journal to Create a Happy & Abundant Life.https://www.theirishmummy.com/Subscribe to Letters to My Sisters Newsletter. You will hear EVERYTHING here first.https://www.theirishmummy.com/

Are you a parent who too often struggles with your child's behavior? Are you looking for guidance?On today's podcast we will review a book called “The Explosive Child” by Dr Ross Greene, to help parents with children who tend to be easily frustrated and inflexible.  This book gives an optimistic perspective on behaviorally challenging children, and it also offers a valuable, step by step approach, which they call "CPS", to help parents. Today's podcast is joined by licensed clinical social worker Kim Hopkins, who works alongside the book's author, Dr Greene, to review the book as well as the "CPS" approach.  Ms. Hopkins is an independently licensed clinical social worker who has specialized in working with behaviorally challenging kids for more than 25 years.  She has managed the clinical departments of two organizations serving youth and families in residential facilities, foster homes, therapeutic day schools, and homeless shelters.  She has been a Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) Trainer since 2007 helping schools, residentials, hospitals, and parents to successfully implement the CPS Model.  Ms. Hopkins is also the Director of Outreach & Communication for Dr. Ross Greene's non-profit, Lives in the Balance. Get matched with a therapist by using Better Help! Give it a try---invest in your mental health: https://betterhelp.com/askdrjessica for 10% off your first month of therapy. Thank you to Better Help for supporting the Ask Dr Jessica podcast.Dr Jessica Hochman is a board certified pediatrician, mom to three children, and she is very passionate about the health and well being of children. Most of her educational videos are targeted towards general pediatric topics and presented in an easy to understand manner. Do you have a future topic you'd like Dr Jessica Hochman to discuss? Email Dr Jessica Hochman askdrjessicamd@gmail.com. Dr Jessica Hochman is also on social media:Follow her on Instagram: @AskDrJessicaSubscribe to her YouTube channel! Ask Dr JessicaSubscribe to this podcast: Ask Dr JessicaSubscribe to her mailing list: www.askdrjessicamd.comThe information presented in Ask Dr Jessica is for general educational purposes only. She does not diagnose medical conditions or formulate treatment plans for specific individuals. If you have a concern about your child's health, be sure to call your child's health care provider.

Cicero said “what society does to its children, so will its children do to society.”  As parents we have certain aspirations. We want our kids to know we love them. We want to be proud of them. We want them to grow, develop and be happy. Maybe we want to overcome our own poor parenting, or lack of parenting and be the change we always hoped for. When you think of the question “how do you want your kids to describe you?” what comes to mind? For me I want my kids to say that I was an example of a growth mindset, constantly learning, improving and living a healthy life. I want them to say that I embodied what I taught and that my life was one of crescendo, not stopping and getting stuck in any one point for too long.  What about you? If you applied the “funeral test” what would you want your kids to say about you at your funeral? I think as parents this question and the answers that come from it can create a guiding force that propels us forward to becoming an evolved parent.  Today's conversation takes us on a path of exploration into the question of what does it mean to be an evolved parent? Why are our early examples in life so important and how do we overcome some poor parenting we may have received to become the best parent we can be.  That's today on The EVOLVE Podcast!  Today's guest is my good friend Scott Jones!  Scott Jones is is a Relationship Expert, Licensed Clinical Mental Health Therapist, Public Speaker, Organizational Consultant, and Owner and Director of Stillwater Academy. Scott has been working with adolescents and their families for over twenty-five years.  He was the creator and director of Project IMPACT, a community-based drug and alcohol treatment program for adjudicated youth in Georgia. With over 25 years of experience in the adolescent treatment industry, Scott understands that change requires risk and healing and can only happen in a safe and nurturing environment.  Scott takes a strength based, relational approach to therapy and loves helping people discover their unique strengths and “see” their inherent value, often for the first time.  Scott specializes in working with clients who have co-occurring issues that often occur with addiction such as depression, anxiety, trauma, and attachment issues. Scott particularly enjoys working with clients who have experienced trauma and loss. When not at work, Scott can often be found on the soccer pitch refereeing amateur, high school, college, semi-pro and professional soccer. He serves on the Utah State Soccer Referee Committee and loves mentoring up and coming referees. He enjoys golf, running, cycling, and anything that has to do with water and sand. Scott has completed several half marathons, LOTAJA and the Salt to Saint cycling events.  Scott and his wife McKell are the proud parents to three amazing kids, three kid-in-laws and three grandchildren and his favorite title is Opa.  Scott Jones! Welcome to the EVOLVE Podcast!  Visit Scott's website here Scott's Must Read Book List: - The Anatomy of Peace by The Arbinger Institute - The Explosive Child by Ross Greene  - The Parallel Process by Krissy Pozatek  Follow Us! EVOLVE Insta: https://www.instagram.com/official_evolve_podcast/     Steve Cutler Insta: https://www.instagram.com/stevecutler_/ W Myles Reilly Insta: https://www.instagram.com/wmyles.reilly/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/stevecutler_  Web: https://www.evolve-cast.com The EVOLVE Podcast is produced by Steve Cutler, all rights reserved. The mission of the EVOLVE Podcast is to empower people to disrupt their lives to EVOLVE their body, mind, soul and tribe.  Steve Cutler helps people and organizations Evolve to higher levels. As a coach and consultant Steve has helped hundreds of people and businesses improve processes and protocols that have led to skyrocketing performance.  With over 20 years in health, fitness, tech and entrepreneurial ventures Steve brings a strong background in operations, marketing, sales, and financial performance. Currently Steve runs EVOLVE, a lifestyle clothing, coaching and consulting business. Steve is the host of the EVOLVE Podcast, a podcast that disrupts peoples lives leading them to greater growth and evolution.  #evolve #evolvepodcast #stevecutler #disrupt 

You zoo plans don't go as planned? Your kid put their mouth on unpurchased items in the store? Just another week in the world of Miranda & Mel! Also discussed, Collaborative Parenting, the ideals of Dr. Ross Greene. And hookworms, ringworm, and pinworms, oh my!!Spotlight - Deworm the World by Evidence Actionhttps://www.evidenceaction.org/dewormtheworld/ Sources - Mel - https://www.cdc.gov/parasites/hookworm/gen_info/faqs.html https://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/what-you-should-know-about-ringworm https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/pinworm.html Miranda - https://courses.lumenlearning.com/adolescent/chapter/identity-development-theory/ Greene, Ross W. "Raising human beings : creating a collaborative partnership with your child." New York : Scribner, 2016.#ringworm #hookworm #pinworms #identity #raisinghumanbeings Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Topics discussed in today's episode: The Explosive Child, by Dr Ross Greene an associate clinical professor at Harvard Medical School CPS model Inflexibility + inflexibility = Meltdown Problem solving proactively The truth about consequences Punishment vs problem solving Lives In The Balance Get in touch with your questions and feedback to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au Find out more and register for the Raising Resilient Kids Summit.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Topics discussed in today's episode: The Explosive Child, by Dr Ross Greene an associate clinical professor at Harvard Medical School Kids do well if they can Flexibility & adaptability Problem solving High emotions, low intelligence Lagging skills research Motivation vs ability How to work with intensely rigid children Problem solving Explore, Explain, Empower Get in touch with your questions and feedback to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au Find out more and register for the Raising Resilient Kids Summit.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode, Lian joins me for a coaching call to discuss the challenges she's facing with her four-year-old son.   Her son has been using swearing to communicate his frustration and big feelings. Lian also shares how his frustration often escalates from mean words to physical aggression.   I give her tips and strategies to help transform her son's approach and behavior, and we make a plan for Lian and her husband moving forward. Be sure to listen in until the end to hear our check in.   We go into: [0:50] What to do if your child uses profanity excessively  [3:50] How Lian has tried putting limits on this issue so far [6:10] Why we can't ignore troubling behavior [10:40] What to do if the behavior isn't due to lack of attention [12:50] The shame we feel as parents when our kids do something  humiliating  [18:10] The 'good' vs. 'bad' parent dichotomy [20:45] Why the naughty behavior hasn't crossed over into other areas of Lian's son life [23:50] How to handle your kid hitting you [30:45] Tips for helping your child empty their emotional backpack [36:05] How hard parenting really is on a marriage [38:00] Check in with Lian [42:15] Tips for empathizing with our kids [48:00] Keeping an aggression log [56:30] Why we should never ignore a child when they're upset Resources mentioned in this episode FREE How to Stop Yelling Course: www.sarahrosensweet.com/yelling  Book coaching or a free consult: www.sarahrosensweet.com/coaching  Patreon: www.patreon.com/peacefulparenting  Playful Parenting by Larry Cohen: https://amzn.to/3Dj49IY  Raising Human Beings by Ross Greene: https://amzn.to/3yvOgg6     Connect with Sarah Rosensweet   On Instagram On Facebook https://www.sarahrosensweet.com  Book a short consult or coaching session call

While many parenting books detail the source of difficult childhood behavior or cover diagnoses, Dr. Ross Greene provides parents with a universal guide for dealing with challenging behaviors. In his bestselling book, The Explosive Child, Dr. Greene says children don't meet our expectations due to a lack of skills. Links from the episode Dr. Ross Greene's Website Sponsors KiwiCo - Get 50% off your first month of ANY crate line at kiwico.com/simple.

 Most often, with Response to Intervention (RTI) or Multi-Tiered System of Supports ( MTSS), teachers must work through two cycles of interventions for a student, then meet again to discuss if the interventions were effective in moving the student forward. At its best, these protocols can identify the gap in a student's learning quickly, provide an intervention to move the student forward, and consider this a success. But too often, our observations and comments are vague, and our approaches try   to solve a big problem-"She can't read."  "He is behind his classmates in math."  "She doesn't like art and often acts out."Instead, Dr. Ross Greene asks us to define the difficulty precisely: Difficulty making 1-1 correspondence with objects to 20Difficulty naming beginning sounds.Difficulty tracing lines and shapes, letters and numbers.I suggest you do the same.  Ask for help from others to find the specific lagging skill and support that skill for your student.  The earlier the better. For both of you:)Online phonics diagnostic @whamphonics.comAdditional elementary resources @ https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Store/Whamphonics

We can learn a lot from history and luckily as humans we can learn to progress and right our wrongs, to be more ethical or helpful. In regards to caring for children, in the past we used restraint techniques when a child was displaying negative behavior and some were even paddled! In fact I was stunned to learn that, as of 2022 paddling is legal and being practiced in 15 U.S states. You don't need hard scientific evidence to know this isn't right. My guest Kim Hopkins joins me to talk about safer, kinder techniques we can use with our children to help them learn effectively. The topics we cover in this episode are:Old school restraint techniques and how we feel about them nowWhy do some kids have such concerning behaviors?What happens when kids lack skillsWhat is an upstream model?How being a parent can change you as a therapistWhy rewards and consequences don't work for some kidsThe great side of teenagersModeling and how you can use your power differently as the parent / adultWhat length of time does the modeling technique take? Resources you can discover from Lives in the BalanceHow Kim rests and recharges And remember, do not forget about yourself, take a few minutes for you and have a little fun!—About The Guest - Kim HopkinsMs. Hopkins is an independently licensed clinical social worker who has specialized in working with behaviorally challenging kids for more than 20 years. She has managed the clinical departments of two organizations serving youth and families in residential facilities, foster homes, therapeutic day schools, and homeless shelters. She has been a Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) Trainer since 2007 helping schools, residentials, hospitals, and parents to successfully implement the CPS Model. Ms. Hopkins is also the Director of Outreach & Communication for Dr. Ross Greene's non-profit, Lives in the Balance. Website - www.livesinthebalance.orgInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/livesinthebalance/Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/livesinthebalanceTwitter - https://twitter.com/LITB_YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC_vZVcW8jPRhoWy85a6yv8gAbout The Host - Janine HalloranJanine Halloran is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, an author, a speaker, an entrepreneur and a mom. As a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Janine has been working primarily with children and adolescents for over 15 years. She loves to create products and resources, so she started two businesses to support families and professionals who work with children and teens. ‘Coping Skills for Kids' provides products and resources to help kids learn to cope with their feelings in safe and healthy ways. It's the home of the popular Coping Cue Cards, decks of cards designed to help kids learn and use coping skills at home or at school. Janine's second business ‘Encourage Play' is dedicated to helping kids learn and practice social skills in the most natural way - through play! Encourage Play has free printables, as well as digital products focused on play and social skills.Coping Skills for Kids - https://copingskillsforkids.comEncourage Play - https://www.encourageplay.comInterested in reading my books? The Coping Skills for Kids Workbook - https://store.copingskillsforkids.com/collections/coping-skills-for-kids-workbook/products/coping-skills-for-kids-workbook-digital-versionSocial Skills for Kids - https://store.copingskillsforkids.com/collections/encourage-play/products/social-skills-for-kids-workbook Connect with Janine on Social MediaInstagram: @copingskillsforkidsFacebook: facebook.com/copingskillsforkids and facebook.com/encourageplayYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/c/JanineHalloranEncouragePlay

https://302.buzz/PM-WhatAreYourThoughtsDr. Cullinan is back to finish up this 4-part series on ADHD. There is an enormous amount of practical information and parenting tips in these 4 episodes. If you haven't yet, be sure to pull up parts 1, 2 and 3. Here is some data from ADDA (American Deficit Disorder Association WHAT IS ADHD? Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a Neurodevelopmental disorder. It is one of the most common disorders of this kind diagnosed in children. ADHD often carries over into adulthood. ADHD is a highly genetic, brain-based syndrome that has to do with the regulation of a particular set of brain functions and related behaviors. These brain operations are collectively referred to as “executive functioning skills” and include important functions such as attention, concentration, memory, motivation and effort, learning from mistakes, impulsivity, hyperactivity, organization, and social skills. There are various contributing factors that play a role in these challenges including chemical and structural differences in the brain as well as genetics. [00:33 -10:10] Finding an Effective ConsequencesLogical Consequences Connected to BehaviorExplaining why an emotional lecture is ineffective Kids and ManipulationThe complexity and sophistication of manipulation[10:11-16:55] The role of parents in developmental milestones Effectiveness of “Emotion Coaching” on Child DevelopmentNecessary techniques/ practices for emotion coaching & emotion labeling Definition of TLC (Task Limit Consequences)Developmentally Matched Way to Communicate with Child[16:56 - 30:40] Benefits of Reward Systems for FamiliesImproved Behavior & Increased Self-DisciplineEnhanced Motivation & Productivity Levels Strengthened Parent/Child RelationshipImplementing the Raffle ticket strategy [30:41-41:50] Leveraging strengths instead of consequence-based discipline strategies Offering Choice and Freedom in Learning ProcessesAcknowledging We Are a Team Working Toward Same GoalsBuilding People Up to Improve Executive Functioning SkillsActivities such as puzzles, art projects, reading can motivate kids to want to work on executive functioning skills [41:51 - 46:53] Closing segment TakeawaysYou can reach Dr. Colleen C. CullinanTwitter: @ColleenCullinan Links to resources mentioned on the show Dr. Ross Green Dr. Ross Greene (drrossgreene.com) Other episodes you may like:**Episode #88ADHD: Strategies for Boosting Executive Function Pt I

In this episode of Real Talk, KJK Student Defense Attorneys Susan Stone and Kristina Supler are joined by Meghan Leahy, a parenting coach and a published author of parenting books. They discuss parenting. The conversation includes how parenting has changed over the last 100 years, different approaches parents can use with their child to problem solve, and the importance of building bonds with your community can help with parenting.  Links from the Episode: Meghan Leahy Website Parenting Outside the Lines (Book Link) Show Notes: (2:25) - What is Parenting Coaching? (4:18) - The Parenting Problem Exposed by the Industrial Revolution (5:45) - The Problem with Modern Parenting (7:41) - The Conundrum with Setting Boundaries for Kids (9:43) - Parent Coaching: Finding the Middle Way to Explain Consequences (13:16) - The Collaborative Approaching to Problem Solving with Children (14:30) - What if the child refuses to go to school?  The middle way approach. (16:16) - The Ultimate Goal of Parenting (17:07) - The Consequence of Harsh Parenting (18:20) - The Goal of Meghan's Book for Parents (21:24) - How To View Parenting Over the Long Term (24:05) - Is it ever too late to change how you communicate with your child? (27:03) - Do apologies mean a loss of parental power? (28:15) - Can adults form relationships with children who aren't their own? (30:33) - Creating Micro-Connections with Other Parents In Your Neighborhood (32:06) - How Transmitting Values Builds Stronger Communities (33:34) - The Power of “Do No Harm” Transcript: Susan Stone: Today's podcast is going to discuss the value of using a parenting coach. And Kristina, wouldn't you agree that we deal with parenting issues every day?  Kristina Supler: Oh, uh, In so many different ways, whether we're working on a campus, title IX case, special education, student discipline, there's issues in our practice that really lend themselves to parent coaching  Susan Stone: well, and our clients often look to us to help guide them as to what decision domain. Susan Stone: So much so. That in 2021, both of us became certified in positive discipline, which we've had a podcast on "What is PO positive discipline" and how you can incorporate those thoughts into everyday parenting.  Kristina Supler: We also though, at times, Sort of really believe in the importance of, of using a tough love approach. Kristina Supler: And it really just sort of depends on the context in which we're representing a student and working with families. But we really think it's important to work with all sorts of different outside professionals to support students and their families through crisis. Yeah.  Susan Stone: And we've made a lot of referrals to outside therapists and coaches, and today we're lucky to have a great coach online. Susan Stone: So why don't you kick off and introduce our guest today.  Kristina Supler: Today we are pleased to be joined by Meghan Leahy. Hi. Hi, Megan. Meghan Leahy: Hello. How are you?  Kristina Supler: Great. Megan is a former teacher and school counselor who now owns her own business as a certified parenting coach. She has a master's degree in school counseling from Johns Hopkins University. Kristina Supler: She's a weekly columnist in the on parenting section of the Washington Post, and she's also a published author. Her book is titled, "Parenting outside the lines. Forget the rules, tap into your wisdom and connect with your child". And most importantly, Megan's a mother to three and she brings her real world experience and relatable insights to her work. Kristina Supler: So thanks for joining us, Megan.  Kristina Supler: This is my pleasure. Thank you for having me.  Susan Stone: So we're gonna kick off with a very basic softball question. What is a parenting coach?  Meghan Leahy: Yeah. It's kind of a BSE job, it feels like. I essentially help the same problems I feel like I create. So, , what do you mean? A hundred years ago? Meghan Leahy: Not even that long ago. You didn't need a parent coach. You had a community, a church, a synagogue, a village, a village, and everybody was like-minded. , rightly or wrongly. If everybody was whooping their kids, at least you had that in common. You lived here I  Susan Stone: was whooped. My parents will deny it. Just so you know. I got the belt.  Meghan Leahy: Yeah. Yeah. I got all kinds of things. And so we, we had our family around. and it was a true generational passing down of your ancestry, your lineage, how you parented, good or bad, right? So I'm not gonna paint a picture that it was great. A lot of bad stuff was passed down. Meghan Leahy: And then as we industrial revolution moved away from each other and away from community, we have become increasingly so we had an up down opposite thing. We became obsessed with our kids cuz we had fewer of them, right? And we used to have a lot of kids to work the farm cuz you'd lose some in a bad winter. Meghan Leahy: Do you know what I mean? Like, and women couldn't stop having them. So thank God for the pill. And then as women could have less kids, and we got more obsessed with them. So the obsession went higher and the support went lower. , as religion fell away and as psychology came up, we started to realize that we were sending our kids to therapy when the identified patient should have been the parent. Meghan Leahy: So the kids weren't the problem. , the parents were. And when I say problem, I put that in air quotes. They just need support. They just need somebody to tell them they're doing a good job and here's what else we can do, and here's what is typical child development for this age. They just need support. So that's what I do, that's what I try and do, support them. Kristina Supler: Megan, have parents gotten too soft today? I mean, it's interesting that your initial response sort of looked back in history. in today's time. I mean, I, I just wonder about this issue of soft parenting, cuz I know when I was growing up and being raised, my parents were very strict with rules, boundaries, consequences. Kristina Supler: Yeah. Good or bad. I mean, Susan, it sounds like you had some of that  Susan Stone: as well. Well, I did, but I know that we, I, I know Kristina's parents and I would say they were very effective old school parenting with you, correct. Absolutely shout out to Jim and Dolores . Can we give you a  Kristina Supler: shout out to my wonderful parents? Kristina Supler: It just seems today as we're dealing with families in crisis and in various contexts, cuz of course we're lawyers. So generally when, when people are with us, it's because they're at a low point in their life. Often it's feels as though parents are reluctant to impose rules. What are your thoughts on that? Meghan Leahy: Yeah. So what what you see in society is bing bonging from one extreme to another. So if we were in a scene not heard kids were at the very bottom of the totem pole we came out of an agricultural kind of, I mean, remember, humans have been around a long time. We think we're important. We are not. We are a speck of sand in this universe, and even in the longevity of humans. Meghan Leahy: Here we go. Now you're asking me have parents gone soft. So they were too harsh. Mm-hmm. , right? Not in every culture, but let's just take culture. Right. And harsh for no reason. Mm-hmm. , right, right. And controlling for no reason. But kids were also given a little bit more freedom to go outside, to go into woods to. Meghan Leahy: now we fast forward and we didn't like how we were raised. A lot of us, so we swing too much into the other extreme. Sure. So back in the day, if you went to go, you know, if you were little and you kicked your parents in the shins, right? You got spanked. You got sent to your room, you got yelled at, you got harshly reprimanded. Kristina Supler: If you said, no, I won't do that, you were in  Meghan Leahy: trouble. Right? Harshly reprimanded, right? Oh, I  Susan Stone: got soap in the mouth when I used the F word as a little girl. I still remember that. Me, me too. I, I was a mouthy kid. And the soap in the  Meghan Leahy: mouth, you want a trauma bond over it. We can .  Susan Stone: The funny thing is I don't look back on it as being traumatic. Susan Stone: I think it was. what you did when you had a mouthy kid. And I was Back then. Back then?  Meghan Leahy: Yeah. Back then. So what we have now is though, is that people don't wanna be raised how they were raised. And so then they go into when the kid kicks them in the shins, they're like, please don't kick mommy. Meghan Leahy: That makes me feel sad, right? There is. , a lack of boundaries, and the kid doesn't respond well to that either. So if you look at it as a fence around a house, if the fence is too tight around the house, that leads to disobedience. Power struggles. Rebellion. Rebellion or shame, right? If the fence goes too wide away from the house, the kids don't know where the boundaries are. The natural hierarchy is not in order, and the kids don't feel safe. So as humans, we feel safe when we know where the rules are. Now, what I see a lot is people saying, well, I was raised like this, and I'm fine. Great. Somehow, right? Like somebody's temperament with how their parents were with their birth order Meghan Leahy: that alchemy. Oh,  Susan Stone: first children, right? Those first born, no,  Meghan Leahy: first children are hot mess. . They're cage, they're ill. They are perfectionistic. Yeah. They are highly medicated and very successful. Yes, I would agree. Yes. And oh, they look great, but go live with them. Okay. I'm a firstborn. Married to a firstborn. Meghan Leahy: We're a fricking nightmare.  Kristina Supler: I love your analogy about the fence around the house, though. I think that's, I love it. That's, that's really  Meghan Leahy: good. And why this is good is that different kids need different fences even within the same house. Sure. Yes, yes.  Susan Stone: Yeah. You know what, we were just, uh, I was just talking. I have a junior. Susan Stone: It's time to really kick it in for college, and that's a really real consequence. I'm not imposing it saying kick it in. You need to really finish your junior year with great grades and great scores, or  Kristina Supler: you might not go to the schools you wanna go to. That's,  Susan Stone: that's not me imposing the rule. That's the world. Meghan Leahy: So in what I do in my parent coaching is I find the middle way, give us the middle  Susan Stone: way under that fact pattern. Okay. Let's talk about grades and scores.  Meghan Leahy: Okay, so let's say you have a kid, junior year, has spent the last two and a half years in some kind of BS covid situation. Sure, yep. With you. , they have lost social skills. Meghan Leahy: Mm-hmm. skills within the classroom, confidence building skills, as well as important learning skills. English and math are the lowest they have ever been since they have started testing in the sixties. A  Kristina Supler: bunch of news articles have come out recently highlighting that, and it's, it's  Susan Stone: in the new, it was in the New York, York Times, and I heard SAT scores and ACT scores are down by five points, which is a lot. Meghan Leahy: So now, now we come in hot as parents. Mm. . Okay. So we are bringing our old expectations to a new way of life, So the old way is I'm gonna sit you down. You're gonna do this work, you're gonna apply these schools, you're gonna write these essays, you're gonna get this resume. Do, do, do, do. One way. The opposite is, well snooze, you lose, you don't do it. Meghan Leahy: You're f okay, the middle way is "Hey, Brian. Things have been a little wacky. We are like out of the habit of maybe some organizational skills. What's important to you this year? When you look ahead?" They may look at you and be like, blink. Blink. What do you mean? Well, let's look ahead, right? Let's look ahead and so you start at the beginning. Meghan Leahy: That is the middle way of where are we now? Where can we go given what your kid is experiencing. So natural consequences for kids who are suffering only cause more suffering. So if you are have a broken leg and you're at the bottom of the stairs and I scream at you, get up the stairs, what is, well, the consequences are you don't get up the stairs. Meghan Leahy: who would ever do that to another human?  Susan Stone: No, but it is a real consequence. So I, I wanna challenge you on this. . Sure. Okay. Are you up for the challenge? Kristina and I All day work? Yeah, all day. Kristina and I work with kids who are accused of various misconducts at college or younger in college. In college. Susan Stone: It could be sexual assault. It could be cheating, and some of our cases, they're at real risk of getting indicted, let's say, a hazing case.  Meghan Leahy: Okay. And, and  Kristina Supler: we have cases in the criminal justice system, so yeah.  Susan Stone: It is cruel to say, get your act together, or you could get kicked outta school or get charged. But guess what? Susan Stone: Those are the facts, Jack, right? Yep. Yeah. So. . I, I, I can't, as a lawyer and Kristina as a lawyer, I can't soften that. That is the real world face in you, babe. Yeah. So what do you do when you have opportunities like get your grades up, get your scores up, live right? I I, yes. You won't get up to the top of that stair. Susan Stone: So give us a mid-level approach that's kinder, but real, real world base. How  Kristina Supler: do you coach under those circumstances? . Yeah.  Meghan Leahy: So, I really love the Ross Greene approach, g r e e n E. This is a collaborative problem solving approach, which takes both needs of both parties into equal weight. Okay? So, for instance, the parents are saying okay, this kid has Cs, but you wanna go to UNC. Meghan Leahy: And the kid is saying, well, I don't really care. Right? You meet in the middle with Ross Green's approach, where you start to work on small problem solving, small amounts of problem solving. Because for the average adolescent, now listen, when they're 18 and they've been, they've hazed someone like. Meghan Leahy: What's gonna happen is gonna happen, right? My work is when people call me for the ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen year old. If we can work with them there you are less likely to have a kid who is going to sexually assault while drunk, haze somebody while drunk, right? Like make these decisions with lifelong impacts. Meghan Leahy: So my interest is problem solving in the middle way. It is easier. in the moment to say sink or swim. It's, it's easier. It's easier for the parent. It's easier to go like this. But for instance, I have a kid who, I had a parent family who the kid stopped attending school. It's a lot of school refusal. Meghan Leahy: We've dealt  Susan Stone: with that. Yeah. Yeah. And actually running away from home. We've dealt with that too. Yeah.  Meghan Leahy: And so they, they were we're gonna send them away to this wilderness  Susan Stone: camp. Oh my gosh. We deal with school with that.  Meghan Leahy: Yeah. Yep. So I said, okay, so your kid's gonna wake up, be grabbed by strangers and taken to Utah. Meghan Leahy: Do you wanna destroy your relationship with them forever? My questions are, are they addicted to drugs? Are they a danger to themselves? Are they a danger to anyone in the house? No. No, no. Oh, okay. So you want to rip them away from the family when they're already struggling. Oh, well, I guess not. Meghan Leahy: Okay, so the middle way became how do we make small movements toward, so rather than the answer is go to school or not go to school, it's What does online school look like One hour a day? , then it's two hours a day? It's  Susan Stone: that mid-level approach. Well,  Kristina Supler: I I, i, I hear your point, and I think it's an excellent one that there, there's gotta be buy-in from both sides. Kristina Supler: Otherwise, you're not making any progress. Meghan Leahy: I'm not looking, wait. My goal in my human life while I'm here is to not crush souls. . Right? So by the time they get to you guys and they're looking at jail time, that's soul crushing on that side. Yeah, it really is. That's, that's a life ender for a lot of these kids. Meghan Leahy: Yeah. That's now their invitation into not being able to have a good career, not being surrounded by the right people. Not being right. So my job on the front end is for that child to look at the parents and the parents' eyes say to them, I love. , I am here for you. I'm not giving up on you. Ever. Mm-hmm. Meghan Leahy: ever. And we have goals every day. We have goals. Whether your kid is eating disordered, cutting themselves, in dangerous behaviors, not doing homework. For me, always having an adult in that children's life that says, I'm never gonna give up on you. Ever. ,  Meghan Leahy: that's beautiful. And, and it builds or can help build a sense of security. Meghan Leahy: And again, the bring the fence maybe really wide back in a little bit. To tie back to your initial point, the only  Meghan Leahy: way a human has moved forward besides the military is through connection. Mm-hmm. , humans do not move forward with carrots and sticks. Now, if we take on parenting as the beatings will continue until morale improves, you will get the behavior you want, but you will not get a relationship you want. Susan Stone: That's right.  Kristina Supler: Let's lighten it  Susan Stone: up a little bit. Oh gosh.  Kristina Supler: I need that . We, we got heavy, we got a little dark, but really, really important. And valuable insights. So thank you for sharing that. And, and  Susan Stone: thank you for trying to lighten it up already. Susan Stone: I was like going, oh my God, I haven't had my lunch and not enough coffee.  Kristina Supler: Let's talk about parenting outside the lines. So your book is, it's funny, it's informative, it's full of really practical advice. For our listeners out there, share a little bit of your humor with our parents. Share a little bit about the book that you think parents should know about. Kristina Supler: So they go check it out. Meghan Leahy: I tell a lot of my own stories with my own kids, which is its own s show. And me growing up I Meghan Leahy: I, this is a parenting book where I just want somebody to read it and go, oh, I don't feel as bad. It's not lofty. I don't want you to put it down and go, oh my God, I'm a changed person. Cause I haven't really ever seen that happen. , right? Um, it's like reading books about stomach crunches. Nobody gets outta bed and does them , right? Meghan Leahy: I want somebody to just read the book and go, oh, right. So for instance you know, when I open the book, I just go through all of the different parenting styles, helicopter parenting, snowplow parent, all the different iterations, right? And you people will recognize themselves in those. Meghan Leahy: And I say it's okay. if it works. I'm trying to kind of lift the burden of parenting one way.  Susan Stone: Right. You know, I was thinking about humor and Kristine and I have a really heavy practice. We deal with serious issues. And what gets it, you mean the me Too sign? Yeah. No, it's, every day is challenging and I know that What gets me through the day is the fact that I just have to say this. Susan Stone: My law partner Kristina Supler is hilarious. Well, thank you. Isn't that amazing? I know, and you know, a lot of people don't get that side of her because she is such a consummate professional, but really that's what gets us through the day is that we have to  Meghan Leahy: laugh. You have to laugh. Well, one of the things, when I coach with people and in the book, you know, I would be getting a one-year-old, a four-year-old, a seven-year-old out of the house by myself. Meghan Leahy: Um, my husband went to work at 5:00 AM Everybody was screaming ins in some sort of undress, right? Like never fully dressed. And I'm supposed to be the parent coach on my block, right? So I'm in a full flop sweat and we're late and we get in the car and I click everyone in and I'm like, we made it, we're in the car, we've won the day. Meghan Leahy: Victory . And all the kids are like, what? , okay, whatever  Kristina Supler: Mom drive, right?  Meghan Leahy: This is winning. I'm a, oh, this is winning. Right. You know,  Susan Stone: one of the things that I wanna share on a personal level of what winning is, and I. my number two. They always say that number one are rule followers. And then number two, always likes to break the rules in three rules. Susan Stone: What are they? I don't know if you've ever heard that. Yeah. But I was just talking to my 23 year old and seeing the adult come out. Mm.  Susan Stone: Like that is the payback, you know? A hundred percent. Yeah. But you sometimes.  Kristina Supler: You wondered  Susan Stone: if you'd ever get there. I didn't think I'd ever get there. And he is amazing. Susan Stone: Really. And he's, it's so gratifying. It really is gratifying. Yeah.  Meghan Leahy: And I think, part of the, the hard part for all of us is that you're parenting for the long game. Right? This, it's hard to explain to parents sometimes That the small gestures they're making right now manifest years down the road. Meghan Leahy: So one of the major things that I teach parents is the family meeting. It's just really getting together and talking, right? And, um, and it has rules around it and, and it sounds so dumb with a three-year old. Right. Like, what is your rose and thorn? What did you love about Oh, we do that in my  Kristina Supler: house. .  Meghan Leahy: Right. But eventually, you know what it's turned into, at least in my family, is, um, you know, well, let's sit down. Meghan Leahy: Um, mom, there's a boy being bullied in my class, and if I speak up, I'm bullied too. Ah, uh, okay. But what do we do about. . Right? It's, it's like  Kristina Supler: a beautiful sort of invitation for the kids to speak about whatever's on their mind.  Meghan Leahy: And so the parents though, have to create that. Mm-hmm. , because in our culture today, there's not time. Meghan Leahy: We just pick up our kids and bring them to A, and bring them to B and drop them off at a, and then take them to soccer and then to like, we actually have to consciously create that time.  Susan Stone: You know what I say? The goal in life is that we spend a couple years diapering our kids, and if we do it right, they'll wanna diaper us one day when we can't make it to the bathroom. Susan Stone: And, and, and all of us who've been through menopause, you know what I'm talking about  Meghan Leahy: right? Oh geez. as I sweat right now. But you know, talking about like your son being an adult and being so proud of him, right. That is the result of a lot of what you didn't do, like has nothing to do with you in many ways, which is the mind f of parenting, like sperm met egg in there. Meghan Leahy: He was all, all his potentiality. , all his IQ, hype, goodness, all everything, right? And then we are the gardeners, right? We make sure that he can fully grow up. So we, we are both in helping him and getting out of the way.  Susan Stone: Yeah, I like that, the gardener cuz sometimes you need to add water and sometimes you need to pinch something off. Susan Stone: I mean, that's a good metaphor since, uh, your husband. That's his biz. Right?  Susan Stone: It is working with his plants. Well, so  Kristina Supler: let me ask you, Megan, you're we're talking about when our children grow. What's your advice for parents of older kids, say late teens college? Is it ever too late to change things to sort of rewire how you communicate with your children and your family dynamic?  Susan Stone: Even if you screwed it up badly? Meghan Leahy: No, it's never too. . It's never too late. And they used to think it was, and now neuroscientists know it's not. And also we can't blow smoke. It's hard when a parent has realized they have mistepped and they have done the work to see that, and they're ready to apologize and humble themselves. That does not automatically click the dominoes into forgiveness and changing of behavior in the child. Meghan Leahy: So if you have a older teen that you have bossed around since they were born, or shamed or manipulated, and you see the light and you get help , you have to kind of see it as like, that's how far off I 95 you drove maybe for 18 years. So to get back to I 95 is gonna be that journey too. Mm-hmm. . So there is, there has to be a, a cultivation of patience and persistence because humans, when I tell you, oh, I've changed. Meghan Leahy: Oh, that's nice. Prove it. Prove it. Prove it. prove it. But one of the most important things to know about kids of all ages, including us, is that we are always hungry for a relationship with our parents. It never, it  Susan Stone: never, absolutely. Oh, it never ends. And our family, I mean, I was on the phone last night with my 99 year old aunt, and I check in once a week or so with her and Right. Susan Stone: She's very meaningful in my life.  Meghan Leahy: and that is should give people a lot of hope that even if there is an apology to make and something to make right, As a parent that deep desire to be connected to your family never goes away. Never goes away.  Kristina Supler: It's interesting, Megan, as I'm listening to you talk, I'm, I'm, I'm thinking, and it's sort of, it, it, please correct me if I'm wrong, but a theme throughout your work is this idea of vulnerability. You, you're vulnerable in sort of putting your family's own stuff out there. You know, some days you get it, right? Mm-hmm. , sometimes you get it wrong. And what we just talked about, the analogy of having the car off the highway and turning it around, and really at the heart of that is parents, admitting to their own children. Kristina Supler: Look, I, I made a mistake, I screwed up. Let, let's, let's regroup it. It's okay to do that. And that's a means of forming connection .  Meghan Leahy: Oh, one of the biggest, right? In therapy, they call it rupture repair. It's like the basis of a human relationship. In my book, I have a, a chapter on apologizing, right? And it's, you know, what's a good apology? Meghan Leahy: What isn't, how it works, how it doesn't. Because everyone thinks connection looks like going to the zoo or going to the park, or all these things, right? The obvious things. But connection. Humility, vulnerability, and you can absolutely apologize while keeping all of your parental power.  Susan Stone: You know, I do wanna go back and circle to the village idea because I still. Susan Stone: It's not just on parents. I think we have to all do our part for being, playing a role in children that are not our own. That might be our friend's kids. You know, when I grew up, my mother had, she passed her best friend from seventh grade cooking class. And I considered her like an aunt Aunt Eileen and Aunt Eileen would remember me and buy me, I remember this, I wanted desperately a Bonnie Ball lip smacker, and I got that from Aunt Eileen. Kristina Supler: They were amazing.  Susan Stone: They were amazing . And I was thinking today that Kristina came into the office with York Peppermint Patties from her son James. I mean, I just trick-or-treating  Susan Stone: leftovers. Amazing. Yeah.  Susan Stone: Yep. And I think that, , it's on. We've become so insular bec Yes, especially with Covid, that we forget that we are a community and we can form relationships with children not our own. Susan Stone: And that can be deep and meaningful for kids.  Meghan Leahy: The science is very clear that as soon as a baby is born, whoever picks up that baby is the parent. because mothers die during childbirth all the time. Not to be dark, but I just, there's a big kind of culture of like mother love and the specialness. Meghan Leahy: Biologically, that's not it. Okay. Biologically we can connect to anyone in those early days of life who loves us. Right? And that continues and continues throughout our life. And the power of showing up . For, for your community though, I just wanna be very clear for everyone listening, you are not crazy if it's hard. Meghan Leahy: All our culture makes it hard. We are both in suburban homes where the garage door shuts and we're on this, so you have to decide to reach out. You have to decide to like go out on your front yard and invite the neighbors over. You have to decide to do what you want to do. It's not as organic as it used to be. Meghan Leahy: Even maybe when we were growing up, right, where the kids were here or there, and you knew the neighbor, and the neighbor knew the, and your family and your cousins. , it's harder for families now.  Kristina Supler: So I hear sometimes people talk about how, you know, back in the day, the good old days, kids would just walk around the neighborhood and pop in and out of everyone's house here, there, and everywhere, and parents often didn't even know where their kids are versus now where. Kristina Supler: It's a sche, uh, uh, a structured schedule and you schedule play dates, you know, in 30 minute increments, weeks out. And, you know, it's sort of this discussion of why can't we go back to the good old days? And I think it's something that, you know, as you point out, it's important to be really mindful of the ways to build connection, both intentionally but also perhaps organically. Meghan Leahy: And remember, you know, when you are running the carpools, when you're standing on the sidelines at the soccer tournament in the gymnastics thing. The, these are micro ways to create connection. Mm-hmm. , these are little teeny ways to tell the kids, get off your phones. Tell me what's going on. Right. To pick up a headline to turn to the parent. Meghan Leahy: I mean, like how, how have you guys been? Right? Like, cuz we're not gonna return to everyone running around and frankly, the good old days were not great in a lot of ways. But, but we can. , we can stop and do little micro connections. Even sending another parent an email like, I saw your son on the field today and he picked up the opposing teams player like by the arm after he knocked him down. Meghan Leahy: What a great kid. Absolutely.  Kristina Supler: And and I think so often we're looking for these really formalized opportunities to build connection and it doesn't have to be that,  Susan Stone: and you wanna form those connections so kids Feel responsible that, you know, not to get all religious on anybody, whatever faith, but am I my brother's keeper? Susan Stone: Totally. Are we responsible for one of them? And you know, that's a universal spiritual concept is that we live, we're social, we care about each other. And this is such a divisive time that I think connecting on a human level is important. I think when you have that foundation you wanna do  Meghan Leahy: well. Yeah, and I really love what you say there cuz you're, what you're talking about is transmitting values. And there's a couple different ways to do it. Meghan Leahy: One is modeling it, one is saying it one, like every parent can say, what's my wheelhouse? What am I good at and how can I do connections? , right? Like maybe you're just good at the grocery store connections, but let your kids see it and tell them why it matters. There's not a one size fits all approach. No, correct, correct. Meghan Leahy: Maybe you are the organizer parent. Maybe you are the block party parent. Enjoy that. Find what your thing is and also the different seasonality of our lives. So I have a bunch of tweens and teens. I just sent one to college. I'm actually super tired right now. The only thing I can focus on is I've decided to get to know the parents of my youngest kid. Meghan Leahy: That is my focus for this year. Everything else I'm not doing. That's okay. Right?  Kristina Supler: And saying no can be freeing.  Meghan Leahy: Yes. And so look at what do I have the energy for? How old are my kids? What is my work life balance? What is real for me right now? You know, it's  Susan Stone: funny, I was thinking about this energy thing. Susan Stone: That's a real thing. Kristina and I were just on a business trip together and it was grueling. It was grueling. And of course she has younger kids, so she had to go trick-or-treating. Not hat, wanted to, but wanted to, but yes, wanted two. But I, like I had to get in my jammies and crawl in bed. Yeah. You know? Susan Stone: Yeah. That's a real thing.  Meghan Leahy: and paying attention to it is a gift to the world, right? Because especially women, you know, we have the invisible labor constantly. Mm-hmm. , constant, invisible labor. Yes. Schedule keeper, schlepper to the doctor, caretaker of the dog care, making sure there's milk, constant email watching, and that's not even our work. Meghan Leahy: No. Right. getting into bed and resting is, is a gift because I say a lot to parents when I coach. Um, it's not very sexy, but one of the big things we work on is doing no harm. How can you do no harm? Mm-hmm. , how can you not do damage to your spouse, to your kids?  Susan Stone: How about this? We so often wanna put on social media this picture of us smiling and at this social event or that social event, but maybe it's when the phone is off, the doors are closed. Susan Stone: Are we treating the people in our home like the best? Right? And doing it when no one's looking. Mm. ?  Meghan Leahy: No, not usually. We usually, here's what's funny too, is that we come home from work or get offline and go down and we're like this and we're dead and we've, we don't have a lot left. And now there's dinner and you know, a night ahead of you. Meghan Leahy: Right. And we're not our best selves. Our kids are the same. They are, and we call it misbehavior. Yeah. We blame them when their cups are empty. Why are you rude? Who do you think you are? Why are you sassy? Why don't you wanna sit down and do that stupid math worksheet? Let's, which, let's face it, is stupid. What's wrong with why are you right? Meghan Leahy: We are not any better . Yeah. I was thinking  Kristina Supler: you're the, your comment about the goal of doing no harm and how. Some people might respond, well, gee, isn't that, isn't that a low bar? Do no harm? Yes. Come on. Because we're  Meghan Leahy: low bar, a  Kristina Supler: high achieving drive, drive, drive society. But I think that it's actually really accurate and, and I, I like your points about parents thinking about how they feel when they come home from work. Kristina Supler: Kids feel the same way, but we label it with a negative. We, we put a negative label on it. Susan Stone: I'm a big believer in saying to a kid, why don't you? What would be your good transition activity? For my oldest, she loved tv. Or is it getting into a hot shower? How can you, you know? I know when I get home, the first thing I like to do is get outta my work clothes and put on my jammies. Kristina Supler: Me too. I'm the same way. My husband doesn't get it. Oh my God. Pajamas on at like six 30. I'm like, yes. Free  Meghan Leahy: the  Susan Stone: girls. Free the girls.  Meghan Leahy: Well, I mean, yeah, people come into the house with my bras sitting on the couch, and of course I'm at an age where I'm like, whatever. Oh,  Susan Stone: I'm with you. I'm with you. Anyways, this has been, this has been a real treat. Susan Stone: Really fun. I feel like if you were in Cleveland, you'd be our  Kristina Supler: girlfriend. Yeah, I'd say let's go get wine. Thank you so much for joining us. Meghan Leahy: One of my favorite cousins, li moved out to Ohio and uh, her husband works at the Cleveland Clinic and so does she. And I will say it's been like a culture shock for her a little bit, but her son is at a high school. She says she's never met so many lovely, lovely people. Susan Stone: Well, hopefully this is the beginning. Wonderful family for us as a new friendship. Kristina Supler: Yes, Meghan Leahy, thank you so much for joining us today. And to our listeners check out her book and her other work on columns and she's all over the internet, so thank you. Yeah. And  Meghan Leahy: check out us. Thank you guys for all the hard work you're doing on this other end of the hard behavior. Meghan Leahy: It's rough, so definitely keep your spirits up as it gets darker. Yeah. Thank you. Thanks. 

Clinical child psychologist and best-selling author of Raising Human Beings, Dr. Ross Greene, returns to share insights on supporting our kids in a post-pandemic world. He talks about creating the evidence-based Collaboration & Proactive Solutions (CPS) model of care, what's behind an increase in behavioural challenges in schools – and why caregivers need to replace fear and punishment with collaboration and compassion.

Welcome to the fourth installment of Infrastructure Junkies Roundtable with Wade Brown of American Acquisition Group and Ross Greene with Pender & Coward's Eminent Domain Practice Group.  You know the routine...everyone brings one right of way issue and one pop culture topic that is on their mind, and magic ensues!  This time, we delve into the breadth of "infrastructure" as we know it, and who is the "good guy" and who is the not so good guy.  Ross wants to talk about replacing interstates with green space and how we tend to find another path to get to where we need to be.   Wade is frustrated with educating inexperienced strategic partners in the right of way process.  Dave has a newfound respect for negotiators and negotiation agents who wear many hats in the process.  As for pop culture, let's just say that Wade flips out about slow drivers in the left lane, Kristen hates "vocal fry", Ross loves fantasy movies, and Dave has his opinions on the best lead vocalists in rock and roll.  Enjoy!

Is your child more challenging than most? Do typical parenting approaches not work? We talk about how to parent harder-to- parent kids with Dr. Ross Greene, the originator of the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions parenting model, a non-punitive, non-adversarial, trauma-informed model of care. Dr. Greene is a clinical psychologist, former Harvard professor, and the author The Explosive Child and Raising Human Beings.In this episode, we cover:Why are some kids “harder to parent”?How does trauma impact a child's behavior?How does innate temperament or genetics impact behavior?What is the collaborative partnership approach?3 Steps to the Collaborative & Proactive approach are:The Empathy step – involves gathering information so as to achieve the clearest understanding of the kid's concern or perspective about a given unsolved problem.The Define Adult Concern step involves the adult sharing their perspective.The Invitation step involves having the adult and kid brainstorm solutions so as to arrive at a plan of action that is both realistic and mutually satisfactory…in other words, a solution that addresses both concerns and that both parties can actually do.“Kids do well if they can.” Kids are challenging because they're lacking the skills not to be challenging. If they had the skills, they wouldn't be challenging. That's because – and here is perhaps the key theme of the model — Kids do well if they can. And because (here's another key theme) Doing well is always preferable to not doing well (but only if a kid has the skills to do well in the first place).How would you apply this approach to work with kids who have experienced trauma?Is Collaborative partnership permissive parenting?Practical applications:A child who struggles with transitions.A child who won't accept “no” and tantrums or argues.A child who doesn't handle change and can't be flexible.TattlingA teen who disregards curfew or other house rules.How to deal with aggressive behaviors towards pets, siblings, or parents?This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family buildingPlease leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamilySupport the show

Dr. Ross Greene sits down with Dr. Meeker to discuss his book, The Explosive Child and the approach calledCollaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS). Dr. Greene discusses the problems and frustrations that make a childexplosive or implosive. He explains that concerning behaviors are caused by unsolved problems and expectations andif those problems are never solved, the behaviors are going to still exist until we find a solution. Medical diagnosis likeAutism Spectrum Disorder do not tell us everything we need to know about a child. Each child is unique in the way theyprocess unsolved problems or expectations.Some topics covered:• The collaborative and proactive solutions model is just as applicable to impulsive kids as it is to the explosive kids.• Concerning behaviors are simply the means, by which the kid is communicating that there is an expectation they arehaving trouble meeting.• Finding solutions to the unsolved problems.• Identify certain expectations causing the unsolved problem(s).• Engage kids in the process of solving problems in a way that they're heard, the caregiver is heard, and we arecoming up with solutions that must address the concerns of both parties.MENTIONSwww.livesinthebalance.orgBooks: The Explosive Child, Lost At School, Lost and FoundFROM THE PRODUCERThanks for listening to Episode #181, The Explosive Child and for helping Dr. Meg's parenting revolution reach morethan SEVEN MILLION downloads! Please subscribe, rate and leave a review for us on iTunes!Get Social with Dr. Meg on Facebook & Instagram @MegMeekerMDCheck out Dr. Meg's parenting resources and tools! www.meekerparenting.com

In Bob Goff's book, Everybody Always,  he says, "We're all rough drafts of the people we're still becoming." This simple, yet profound idea is foundational to way we view ourselves and others. In this episode we review the work of Tina Payne Bryson, Ross Greene, Becky Kennedy, Bob Goff, and Brené Brown to answer the question, "Are people doing the best they can?" We explore the value of having the most generous assumption of others while maintaining healthy boundaries. You can find PAWsitive Choices books at https://www.pawsitivechoices.com/books. Follow PAWsitive Choices on Instagram and Facebook and join our mailing list to stay up to date on our new books, freebies, and upcoming events. Store: https://www.pawsitivechoices.com/store Check out our other resources and freebies: https://www.pawsitivechoices.com/links © 2014-2022 PAWsitive Choices, LLC 

For this episode, I talk with Dr. Ross Greene, author of the books Lost at School and Raising Human Beings. We discuss what schools are getting right and wrong about supporting learners with challenging behavior and an alternative lens for educators to view behavior in all learners. Thanks for listening, and if you haven't already, please give us a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. *** Click here for the transcript of this episode. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Sign up for updates from MCIE. Credits Think Inclusive is written, edited, and sound designed by Tim Villegas, and is produced by MCIE. Orginal music by Miles Kredich. Support Think Inclusive by becoming a patron! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

In this episode, I introduce you to Corey and Stoney, the two new Peaceful Parenting Coaches here at Sarah Rosensweet Peaceful Parenting. We chat about our peaceful parenting journeys as well as our most influential parenting books over the years.   We go into: [1:45] Introducing Corey to the team [3:10] Introducing Stoney to the team [5:50] Sarah's most influential parenting books [8:35] Corey's most influential parenting books [13:00] Stoney's most influential parenting books [24:30] The importance of equal partnership [32:50] What to do if you're struggling with burnout    Resources mentioned in this episode Episode 24: Coaching call with Corey: When Peaceful Parenting Wasn't Enough Episode 47: Shame-Proof Parenting with Mercedes Samudio Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids by Dr. Laura Marham  Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn  Punished by Rewards by Alfie Kohn   Shame Proof Parenting by Mercedes Samudio  Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne  The Soul of Discipline by Kim John Payne  Raising Human Beings by Ross Greene  Find Your Unicorn Space by Eve Rodsky  Fair Play by Eve Rodsky  Impossible Parenting by Olivia Scobie  How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids by Jancee Dunn  All The Rage: Mothers, Fathers, and The Myth of Equal Partnership by Darcy Lockman  Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski Connect with Sarah Rosensweet   On Instagram On Facebook https://www.sarahrosensweet.com  Book a short consult or coaching session call

Join Kim Hopkins and I as we cover how to better support neurodiverse children and their families. Don't miss this powerful episode!  Learn about- ➡️ Challenging behavior ➡️ The why/where ➡️ The CPS Model, and ➡️ Plan A, B & C xx, Holly Blanc Moses - The Mom/Psychologist Who Gets It LEARN MORE ABOUT HOLLY - https://www.hollyblancmoses.com/​​ LEARN MORE ABOUT KIM & DR. ROSS GREENE- https://www.cpsconnection.com/ Want information on social skills? Parents - Get your free Social Success Guide Therapists - Get your free Social Success Guide Educators - Get your free Social Success Guide Want information on behavior? Parents - Get your free Behavior Detective Guide Therapists - Get your free Behavior Detective Guide Educators - Get your free Behavior Detective Guide You're invited to the group! Parents, Come on over and join the Autism ADHD Facebook Group for Parents Professionals, you are invited to join the Autism ADHD Facebook Group for Therapists and Educators  

ADHD is a label, it's a name of a category of behaviors that we want to look at and potentially see how can we change the environment to make a kid the most successful as possible. In today's episode, our guest is Colleen Cullinan, Ph.D., a pediatric psychologist at Nemours/Alfred I. DuPont Hospital for Children in Wilmington Delaware. She specializes in integrated primary care within the Division of Behavioral Health. Dr. Cullinan completed her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology at Western Michigan University in 2015. Dr. Cullinan supervises psychology externs and interns, and she directs medical education efforts for Nemours' residency training programs. Her presentation and publication records center around integrated care, family-based interventions, and experiential cultural humility training.  If you want to gain a deeper understanding of the strategies for boosting executive function, this episode is for you! Key Highlights:  [00:01 - 11:13] Open Segment An overview of ADHA management Having conversations with families about the types of ADHA The executive functioning in kids and adults Why setting families expectations is a critical part of ADHD management [11:14 - 22:42]  The Journey of Starting to Manage A Chronic Neuro-Biological Condition Dr. Colleen's outlook on children having trouble at school Why the Vanderbilt can be helpful You need the time to do a good job to gather information [22:43 - 33:47] Kids with ADHD Need a Lot of Practice What happens when the medication therapies are not working How executive function coaching looks like Why internal speech is important and complex Kids need more training in nonverbal cues [33:48 - 45:49] Executive Functions That Are Underdeveloped Incentive systems do work, but sometimes we are trying to incentivize the wrong thing Talk about hindsight, foresight, and insight How the sense of time is perceived by kids vs adults [45:50 - 57:07] Working Memory vs Multitasking The executive function of working memory Dr. Colleen's insights about multitasking being a fantasy Always think about the kid and their family [57:08 - 1:11:44] Final Takeaways Start with conceptualizing the diagnosis when talking to parents Take a good history, a really good history Throw away the label and really look at the executive function Start with psycho-education for families and patients Lay out the deficits of ADHD For kids with ADHD, the impact of those executive functional skills deficits may set them back two to three years Lay out building the parent's skills of expectation, setting realistic goals Let's talk about some of the specific deficits Internal speech Hindsight, foresight, and insight Cents of time Working memory  Explain to families that ADHD is highly genetic and that there are often ADHD families Future teaching and predicting setting expectations and what that can look like Set the tone with the families Lay out that intervention and management will be an experiment Resources Mentioned: https://www.amazon.com/Driven-Distraction-Recognizing-Attention-Childhood/dp/0684801280 (Driven To Distraction - Ned Hallowell) https://www.amazon.com/-/es/Ross-W-Greene/dp/0060931027/ref=sr_1_1?__mk_es_US=%C3%85M%C3%85%C5%BD%C3%95%C3%91&crid=37EJWPAT09J3Z&keywords=The+Explosive+Child+by+Ross+Greene&qid=1652203040&s=books&sprefix=the+explosive+child+by+ross+greene%2B%2Cstripbooks-intl-ship%2C849&sr=1-1 (The Explosive Child - Ross Greene) https://www.amazon.com/-/es/Peg-Dawson/dp/1593854455/ref=sr_1_1?__mk_es_US=%C3%85M%C3%85%C5%BD%C3%95%C3%91&crid=1IEJLHZRUPOOM&keywords=smart+but+scattered+by+Peg+Dawson+and&qid=1652203176&s=books&sprefix=smart+but+scattered+by+peg+dawson+and+richard+guard%2Cstripbooks-intl-ship%2C407&sr=1-1 (Smart But Scattered - Peg Dawson and Richard Guard)...

Dr. Ross Greene, author of "The Explosive Child," explains how parents can tap into the power and benefits of collaboratively problem solving with their differently-wired kids. For more information, visit the shows note page at https://tiltparenting.com/session81Support the show