Hannah, You're Yelling

You will always have us, in one medium or another. None of this would have meant anything if it hadn't been for each of you listening. Thank you for making the last two years of our lives a creative wonderland, a safe place to be absolutely vulnerable, and the person on the other end of the line when we were having the most frank conversations of our lives. Catch up with us (anytime) on our Instagram @hannahyoureyelling

In this episode of Hannah, You're Yelling the girls start by catching up on each other's personal lives and occupations. They've somehow both found themselves working with children and loving it??? Next, they congratulate Hannah on a fully developed frontal lobe and share a recent experience where Hannah finds herself within one foot of a “knife fight” (you guessed it, it has to do with men's emotions). Much to your surprise this is also a research episode which means Hannah gets to share with you some fucked up dollhouse murder lore that perfectly intertwines Hannah's love of miniatures with the other Hannah's love of grotesque death scenes. This episode is fun for all ages, whether you love very small coffee pots with no realistic use or the occasional unsolved case of a family's murder suicide- this is the place for you.

This episode is exactly what to expect of a chatty Thursday. It is as if you sat next to them at a bar and eaves dropped for 40 minutes. Hannah shares how she got fired from her chop shop, the beauty of work friendships, and the sadness of putting a work uniform suit and tie in a trash bag. The other Hannah shares her trials and tribulations of being unable to burp for her entire life and the light at the end of the tunnel she has found in the one man who offers botox relief in Chicago. Yes, this is a niche listen but that is why you're here. Hannah also shares some of her upcoming travels, unfortunately, enforced by the military and the other Hannah shares her new found appreciation for Dave Matthews. Get to listening!

The opening is strong: the hosts react to a first time reading of listeners embarrassing stories including (but not limited to) virginity lost on a school lunch break. On a sharp pivot, they dive into America's most confusing Billboard: Shen Yun, 5000 Years of Civilization Reborn. You know it, you've seen it, but Hannah will assure you never looking at a Shen Yun ad the same. The girls discuss religious-political propaganda, debate the constitution of a cult, and make a striking comparison of the dance group to modern day evangelicals. https://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/stepping-into-the-uncanny-unsettling-world-of-shen-yun

This rendition of Chatty Thursday brings us family business controversy, sauteed spinach, side pieces, and the most pressing question “How do you want to be remembered when you're gone?” (and a debate over whether it's totally narcissistic to force people to do things for you after you die). Expect the unexpected. There's also a very long conversation about raw meat. I know you aren't even reading this because you already pressed play.  YouTube Playlist:  https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_WGxWryVLlTW2aPbKzFJYlIS8QmAyZm4 

In this episode of Hannah You're Yelling the girls share their take on Cancel Culture. Hannah shares where it comes from, why we do it, and what getting canceled does to your emotional wellbeing. They talk about their own fears of getting cancelled and the worst kink you could ever have. Hannah touches on how politics play a role in cancel culture and how Twitter is the bitch that takes everyone down. They wrestle with the moral implications of holding someone accountable through the use of a hashtag and then relive a very fucked up event from private Christian school. They share a few case studies of public cancelations and then end with a conversation on authenticity. Get to listening! Sources: https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2021/05/19/americans-and-cancel-culture-where-some-see-calls-for-accountability-others-see-censorship-punishment/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cancel_culture https://www.verywellmind.com/the-mental-health-effects-of-cancel-culture-5119201 You're Wrong About Podcast: Cancel Culture

In this episode of Hannah You're Yelling the girls talk about what it really takes to empower your pelvis, whether its extensive pelvic floor therapy, working on your confidence, or just plane old butt stuff- they're doing it. Hannah goes on to share some bummer pregnancy ER stories from her girl boss era and then seamlessly transition into how we look like beans in the womb. They share the story of their recent drunkin' afternoon spent with their moms in Colorado and how it ended with the very passionate retelling of Hannah's conception. The girls then engage in a very serious conversation about the analog clock and how they have hit their breaking point with geographical awareness. They urge others to stop bullying people who can't read clocks and can't get home without google maps (neither of which they struggle with, obviously), and then share some recent stress dreams which tie in perfectly to their geographical shortcomings. This episode is chatty, intimate, and all over the place. Get to listening.  

Buckle in for the deep dark history of American Evangelical Virginity. A construct void of consent education, logic, and biblical reason; the girls teach you how purity culture was a federally funded ploy to combat the AIDS crisis and continue the white race. They talk about all the myths we were taught in sunday school and how we somehow ended up with beliefs about pap smears breaking your hymen and the sinlessness of anal sex. If you too read I Kissed Dating Goodbye you are entitled to financial compensation. Give Me Sex, Jesus (Vimeo) https://vimeo.com/137784146 Virgin Nation By Sara Moslener https://www.google.com/books/edition/Virgin_Nation/HiqaCAAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=0 Queering the Virgin https://journals.openedition.org/ejas/11818 I Kissed Dating Goodbye Documentary https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBqPkIXtblw Broken Promises: Abstinence Pledging and Sexual and Reproductive Health https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jomf.12279

It's Chatty Thursday, anything can happen. Listen in to hear the girls talk wedding planning, pregnancy predictions, the trials and tribulations of “Ballet Core,” and yes, the Baja Blast Vajacial. They won't let you down. And if they do, they do it gently.

In this episode, Hannah covers the in-depth and unbelievably unethical U.S. Syphilis Experiment. They hit everything from STDs to medical ethics and systematic racism in just under 45 minutes and somehow still have room for a very intimate conversation about pelvic floor therapy. The girls hash out the traumatic symptoms of syphilis with a personal anecdote regarding scanning balls for testicular cancer. They talk about Bill Clinton's YouTube-scandal-esqu-apology and the ripple of medical injustice in the healthcare system. Despite all of this, the episode still manages to be funny and egregiously inappropriate with even more oversharing than you're used to. The girls end with a vow to take care of their genitals and an encouragement of others to do the same. This is the first informative episode of the year, and it may be their last. SOURCES https://www.cdc.gov/tuskegee/index.html https://www.plannedparenthood.org/blog/what-is-the-tuskegee-study https://www.britannica.com/event/Tuskegee-syphilis-study

Did you really think they'd off and leave you like that? Don't let your abandonment issues make you think this rejection therapy exercise they're doing would be over anytime soon. This episode is the catch-up everyone has been on the edge of their little seats for. Hannah got ENGAGED, other Hannah QUIT HER JOB?! 2023 let's get it CHURNING! Let's light this candle, baby.

And just like that their 2022 New Year's Resolution has been accomplished. The girls rejoice in the final episode of the year. A year marked by many accidentally deleted episodes, fairly offensive humor, and a whirlwind of imperfect, yet very consistent, content. They share their gratitude for the many new friends they have met and the beautiful messages they have received from dare they say “fans????”. The listeners have seen them through moments of sobriety, a few life altering realizations, and a whole hell of a lot of birth control. They are both mortified and thankful for the time capsule that this year's podcast has become. They share their hopes for the future and their plans for the New Year but overall this episode is one big thank you. Happy New Year bitchessssss

The sun is going down at 5pm and the girls are in their hibernation era (at least they are trying to be). In this episode they will give you every idea you need to make it through this winter. Whether it's a drunk closet clean out, watching 2009 YouTube scandals, or making a garlic and onion potpourri, the Hannah's will come out of this winter with the will to live. What's more, they explain what a third space is, absolutely butcher the pronunciation of Le Creuset, and unpack their need to digitally hoard their old texts from high school flings. Turn on some ambient lighting and get ready to romanticize the fuck out of these next few months.

Welcome back to the shitshow where Hannah finally got to go to the doctor after five years, discusses putting in NuvaRing in live on Zoom, and talks body negativity in light of the Skims era. They touch on fear, sadness, a crippling addiction to working as a waitress, and end by outing a secret Hannah kept until she graduated high school. This episode is about feeling alive in your follicular phase, panic-stricken by the boogie man, disgusted by your own need for male attention, and downright depressed but finally getting on medication for it.

What starts as a recap of their front yard pop-up quickly diverts into something not at all similar: soap. In one way, this episode is just about Dr. Bronner. That magical 18-1 soap with the long ass label you see in your local Whole Foods. In another way, its about how an innocent peppermint soap that feels nice on the balls is actually associated with multiple crucifixions, a near lobotomy, unhinged family drama, and free ketamine therapy. You will leave this episode having learned cleanliness is indeed godliness and how yes, even body wash can have culty connections. Although clarification is not at all necessary, this is not associated with or sponsored by Dr. Bronner's Magic Soaps. Youtube documentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXK9GxCSvEM Other sources: https://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/lifestyle/people/sdut-dr-bronners-finds-balance-2015jan29-story.html https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/5/8/18535403/dr-bronners-soap-label-castile https://www.drbronner.com/blogs/ourselves/the-dr-bronners-story

Consider this the Hannah You're Yelling Christmas Special. The girls discuss the basic truths of the season, like how we have yet to see a historically accurate nativity set, how impractical it is to have Christmas traditions span multiple divorces, and the absolute chokehold that O Holy Night has on these atheist podcast hosts. Not only does Hannah comes to terms with her participation in a cult activity but she reckons with the trauma of her family's strictly philanthropic Christmas. Religion or not, we all know the most important thing this Christmas will be those little nick nacks we put under the tree. And oh come all ye faithful, do they have the gift guide for you. Merry Freakin Christmas, girls.

In this episode the girls talk gratitude. They touch on when love has conditions, thankfulness being deeply associated with a religious past, and being forced to say your "highs" and "lows" at the mercy of a stepparent organized family function. Needless to say, gratitude hasn't been optional for most of their upbringing, but after a few Brene Brown Ted Talks they are here to enforce their newfound gratitude practice upon their loyal following (you). They find thankfulness has both the ability to be enragingly annoying and absolutely necessary to their mental health, kind of like this podcast.  A Happy Thanksgiving to you all. 

It's Thursday again and Hannah just figured out she's still paying for an audio porn membership she forgot she signed up for two years ago. Press play to commiserate with your favorite gal pals as they scream cry over the NYC marathon, talk through their internalized anti-liberalism, and find Hannah's old blog she was writing for her non-existent daughter. What they hope is that in their lifetime one of two things will happen - we will see universal healthcare become a reality, or you will be able to in some way (even slightly) relate to their very niche and very relentless podcast. Until next Thursday, when we can only pray for some semblance of a theme.

In this episode, the girls talk about life in their 20's (a prime example of the blind leading the blind.) They're lost, they're confused, they're fucking up their IRS deadlines, and they're scared shitless. Despite, they share the things that have helped them most; like choosing your own family, setting up boundaries (gag), and the importance of trying tap dancing despite the mortal embarrassment of it all. Great advice, as you know, always comes from two preachy, very unqualified, self-proclaimed know-it-alls who have BARELY made it halfway through this decade, so you know it's going to be funny. Anyway, here they are once again getting vulnerable for views. At least they've figured out that in your 20s no one has the answers, and that type of chaos is comforting.

This week the girls have on none other than the self proclaimed swaggy lesbian (Lauren Girkbudok) to give them advice on navigating their twenties. They talk, finding your niche, finding your clitoris (just kidding, almost), and most importantly, finding your goddamn self. While this is technically a podcast episode, don't expect structure. Expect vibes.

In this episode the girls take on something that is not so often shared in the space of womanhood. With much thought, many sleepless nights, and endless conversations with one another they decide to finally break their silence on their desire to be childfree (not childless). They talk about the ethics of child bearing in a world with insurmountable pressures, misogyny, and severe climate issues, while also somehow trying to make it an enjoyable girls chat. They talk about how “breaking the cycle” has the same energy as living vicariously through your kids and the insane responsibility it is to bring a child into the universe without their consent. They share their own experiences with parental responsibility and get really fucking real about not needing to be a mom to be a good woman. They talk about the fear of losing your entire identity in motherhood, your career, your name, and your life as you know it while also being just as scared to spend Christmas alone when you're 60. They talk about the unadulterated biological compulsion they have for bringing a child into the world and how some might just call that ovulation. This episode is about wanting to do the right thing, wanting to be a good mom, wanting to never be a mom, and wanting to make space to talk about all of it. Fair warning, they don't come to any conclusions. Enjoy.

I'm so sorry Link to Spotify playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1IsEOJJtETTtINiLAGHQaw?si=acc3d7d0b3f840c1 Apple Music playlist: https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/girls-were-sorry/pl.u-XkD0vlEc2vyep8G Favorite episodes: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7vFASUpaNsvsn00ibtVhQP?si=1520700121784d21

Oh wow has the world gotten dark?? Or maybe just darker?? Alas, this episode is here to lighten the mood, to cleanse the palate, to make life just a little bit more tolerable. They get your engines revving with a quick feminist blurb and then break from their normal trauma dumps and disgusting commentary to just share some good ole' wholesome content. Whether it's the gerbil tendencies they have when drinking from a water bottle, the way they plant little gardens because they believe in tomorrow, or the intense cravings that present them with a new lease on life. This episode is like sitting in a warm bath, having a cat sit on your chest, or like soup when you're sick. So grab some tea, put a splash of milk in it if you're into that - did we mention too many warm liquids? Is anyone still reading this? Anyways, see you in your happy place after you transcend from how goddamn positive this episode is.

***SPOILERS*** Well, the girls went to the movie theater to see Harry Styles eat Florence Pugh (yes, in that way). But what they left with was the feeling that they'd just been on a giant shrooms trip to the 1950s. This episode is their raw dog review on Don't Worry Darling. Olivia Wilde was giving misogyny but make it hot, but make it a thriller, but make it a mind fuck. The girls question the ethics of virtual reality, make the comparison of Waco TX's Magnolia Market to the Victory Project, and talk Joanna Gains as the cult leader of modernity. Hannah says “[Don't Worry Darling] was her superbowl” and also Hannah says it “gets you so horny and gets you so thinking [about the world].” It's hot to be Harry's little side piece, unless its against your own will. Watch the movie, then listen.

In this episode the girls share what we absolutely need to be scared of. It's fear mongering, but make it cute. They talk about everything from horrific plane crashes, feeling a cool breeze through your intestines during open bowel surgery (mhm it happens), and the fear of feeding your newborn a double A battery because you forgot that was dangerous. They talk about the incessant need to chew on your man's arm like corn on the cobb and the very real fear that Montessori babies are plotting world domination with their little wooden knives. This episode will make you smile, make you sweat, and give you a shit ton of anxiety, it's kinda like coffee. Anyways, be careful out there y'all.

First, Hannah overshares about seeing her estranged father of 15 years at a hometown football game (so fucked up). Then Hannah (the other one) trauma dumps about narrowly escaping a sex trafficker at a steak house (beefy). You take a shot every time they mention they're fatherless (you're drunk). They then come at your sideways with the bridezilla special which is nothing short of talking about how tacky it is to having a wedding registry (now you're offended and drunk) and how over their dead and lifeless bodies will you be hearing Uptown Funk at the reception. This episode is for girls who are walking themselves down the aisle. It's for the girls who are gonna cry on their wedding day and wipe their tears with an unmonogrammed napkin. It's for the girls who want to have the most romantic day of their lives and have a New York hot dog while doing it. If you're coming (dirty little slut), dm us for the invite (no dads allowed).

You will get your money back if this episode doesn't make you laugh. The girls hit everything from football to masturbation to the crippling superstitions they held as children. If they upset you last week or bored you half to death with the Jesus talk, this is their 180. They share the going out "game" that has led to the best nights of their lives, including, but not limited to, the night they met Yung Gravy. They take a moment to cope with Hannah's new assignment in the military and then reorient themselves to Trisha Paytas' new daughter, Queen Elizabeth. They talk all things fall vibes and then end on the ethics of seeing Ariana Grande naked even if it's not Ariana Grande. This episode is about all the little things that keep you up at night and they promise it's exactly what you need.

Because it's been so requested, and because it's about damn time we talk about this on the podcast... todays episode is about religion. Please take everything said with a grain of salt and know that we are speaking about our own experiences with every intention to remain open and hold all truths with respect and understanding. The whole point of this episode is to connect us to each other, not to have anyone change their mind. Vulnerability hangover is real so please be gentle with our little tender lady hearts

In this episode the Hannah's respond to their listener's very probing questions. Thats right - it's a good ole' Q&A. They share everything from their favorite books to their biggest pre-marital fight. They answer the age old questions “how do you want men to act” and then follow up with some fun toddler gift ideas. They do speak on Hannah's unrelenting need to put her grubby toes in green grass and shamefully disclose all the things other Hannah has in common with Donald Trump. This episode gives you a little bit of everything. So if you want to find out what this podcast almost got named or the book that made Hannah just a little more lesbian then get to listening.

Well girls, no one asked for this. But here is a woman's perspective on extraterrestrial life. They realize there is a very slim crossover between those that want to listen to a girls chat podcast and those that want to hear about an under researched take on aliens but they do it for the 1%, what can they say. Unsurprisingly, they don't even stick to the subject. So get ready to hear about the intimacy of a transvaginal ultrasound, a deep conversation on whether or not they think they can be married for 50 years, and their thoughts on US government censorship. Would you want to know if the world was ending? Would you question the world view of your ex boyfriend if he told you he was saving himself for marriage unless he knew the earth was going to explode within the next 24 hours then he'd wanna funk you? Goddamn, is this podcast getting a little too niche again? Is anyone still reading this?

In this episode the Hannah's discuss their simultaneous “bad days” and look to their horoscopes in hopes of finding a celestial reason for their shitty attitudes. But alas - the moon is not the problem. They then transition into a fuck, marry, kill moment involving a Chex Mix bag and question how someone could push something out of their own vagina and then name it Darrell. Is this setting the tone for the episode yet? They talk about giving up TikTok (for good), the ethics of strip clubs and bottle service, and finish off by having a surprisingly emotional and intimate conversation about the human experience. What's new.

The first ever guest episode and you know they had to have their bitches on. Essentially it's an episode of them loudly interrupting each other for an hour straight marketed as a drunk Q&A with their soon to be hubbies. Should they have titled this episode Hannah's Hubby? How do the girlies feel about that word? Anyway. Welcome to the hodgepodge of these absolutely shwacked individuals and the nuances of this friendship foursome. After a shot or five, they discuss how many kids is too many kids, the way Kim Possible's hips elicited a boyhood sexual awakening, and their never before told break up stories. Relationships aren't perfect and neither is this episode. Sorry if your ears are bleeding queen - they only get drunker.

In this episode of Hannah You're Yelling, as promised, Hannah shares her experience with getting the IUD inserted. She explains everything she did to prepare both her cervix and her mind, and the overwhelming relief that follows knowing she will not have an accidental pregnancy in the next ten years. Then we hear from the other Hannah who gives the tell all on her engagement story. She shares the good, the bad, and the ugly, on what it really feels like to be completely and utterly shocked by the “best news of your life." This episode is funny, vulnerable, and just downright wholesome. So if you're looking for a rom-com-esque podcast episode, this is it

One shot of whiskey and an egg salad sandwich and all of sudden the girls are on the darkest side of the internet: Reddit. In this installment of r/AmITheAsshole the girls dive into whether it's appropriate to shave a baby's unibrow, tattoo your stepkid's name on your body, or clone your own willy. The topic of a well-known multilevel marketing company comes up (ok, it's Monat) as well as breastfeeding (not in the light you're expecting). What they're really wondering is, are there any kinks that can still be made fun of? Is there nothing sacred? And, are they the asshole?

The girls are revisiting birth control and are here to give you the all too personal update on what hoops they are jumping through to go non hormonal. They're asking the important questions like how many acts of intercourse can a vaginal gel withstand and did the Catholics have it all figured out with the natural family planning? Little miss “I'm not on the pill” is here to talk everything semen, sterilization, and checking and charting your own cervical mucus, hip hip hooray! They touch on the current and ever-disappointing male birth control options and the devastation of finding out vasectomies may not be the cure we've been looking for. If you want to know what rat balls in a clinical trial jacuzzi have to do with all of this, hit play baby.

The girls are sharing everything from a very life altering event in Trader Joe's to their newfound Dungeons and Dragons addiction. They discuss their likelihood to completely give-up during an apocalypse and their confusion slash discomfort with the predominantly male need to “repopulate” the earth. The Hannah's then transition into a very riveting update on all things pop culture (Jesus Christ). Have you heard about the borderline incest in Elon Musk's family? Perhaps, the weird tattoos Pete Davidson got of Kim K's 4 children? If you haven't that's fine, but you have some catching up to do. Press play for the pop culture update of a lifetime.

Back on their bullshit, baby! Hannah has returned from Army training and the girls are making up for lost time sharing everything they experienced in the last 35 days. Hannah shares her stories of absolute badassery with some very topical advice on racoon encounters and how to go through a gas chamber without yakking. While one found a new deodorant and got a spray tan while the other was rucking 12 miles, sleeping in an open forest, and eating upwards of 6,000 calories a day. A very polarizing experience, you could say.

Well, this episode was recorded on May 15th so, what can you really expect. We're all really just ready for Hannah to get home from Army training at this point so the content can once again be so relevant and researched you're not even gonna know what hit you. But while we're waiting, here's an episode where they talk about hot tubbing, scrapbooking, and disc golf for way longer than they should have. They also consider “casual western” fashion trends, dachshund races, and how awkward it is to take a bath with a full grown man. Maintenance Phase Podcast mentioned: https://open.spotify.com/show/3rDR8CfpIEMpITG2UC3w5W?si=c109834a40ea41ea

Just two girls who love a deep nosy question. One that digs into your chest and makes you rethink a few years of your life. You know, like “Do you miss the Christian church?” and “Is it even possible to be in a long term relationship without codependency?” They engage in a titillating debate on the best emotion as well as a conversation on the morality of oversharing. Hannah and Hannah have had enough with the boring Instagram influencer Q&A's. They're here to talk about their biggest life mistake and feel no shame doing it.

Being a girl in a man's world is fucking heavy. Unedited, Hannah and Hannah let you in on their shared breakdown over the the surmounting feeling that just about every facet of their lives is affected by the the fact that they are a woman. Although the episode is hardly light, their breakdown of feminist theology does lead them to question if God has a penis and if the pinnacle of empowerment is to free bleed while listening to Beyoncé. In short, they discuss their experience; the same experience that every woman listening already knows so intimately. It is definitely a downer, but at least us ladies are all scream crying together. Alexa, play “Just a Girl.”

The Hannah's once again dive head first into something they have absolutely no right to talk about. This time, the topic is fashion. As the pants are getting bigger and the tops are getting smaller, Hannah and Hannah weigh in on the pocket disparity between men and women's clothing, how the patriarchy has shaped our dress codes, and how being “basic” became a crime. More importantly, they breakdown the curse of the disco cowgirl bachelorette party (you know the one) and the feminine phenomenon of not being able to wear a tank top to the grocery store while having an innate desire to slut out at the club. They ask the pressing question “Are shoes really intended to be this chunky?” and “Is this the goddamn funniest episode they've ever put out?”

The girls spend the first chunk of the episode discussing the movie that absolutely shook them to their core and became, in a sense, a new religion for them. They somehow make a connection between parallel universes and personal finances all while incorporating the deep hitting questions of “When will you know if you've ‘made it' in life?” and “Are we destined to handle money in the same way as our parents?” They're here to share their financial woes, budgets with their boyfriends, and the debate on whether or not kids should be paid for chores. Its giving wage transparency, personal vulnerability, and an inside look on the bank statements of these so called “girl bosses.”

In this episode the girls say absolutely nothing of substance, and are quite literally so annoyed that they even talked about this shit for over 40 minutes. They touch on mommy bloggers, social media's grip on their fucking jugular, and the long lost tweets of Hannah's secret Twitter account. They really just contradict themselves for over half an hour and then high five at the end…its embarrassing. But as they clarified, this podcast is just “two girls dicking around.” While they have no right discussing it, they touch on a life sans social media, the hellscape that is being perceived, and how controversial sustainability is in the influencer world. Anyway, is life even worth living if you cant post about it? Brene Brown episode mentioned: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2Aum4I0vVWLlnKpE0VWdzW?si=21560484186f470c

In this episode the Hannahs divulge into their long anticipated bucket list which quickly turns into a discussion on private property rights, starting an Only Fans in Joshua Tree, and the feminine urge to not only own a grand piano but also renovate a log cabin without power tools. They dive into how religion puts sex on a pedestal, quilting in Montana at the young age of 48, going balls to the walls in Vegas, and of course, gambling on a cruise line (homely place for an eight some or an unhygienic cesspool of Disney adults?)

What do you want to see more of in this god forsaken world? Is it a good pudding cup? An undying belief in Santa Claus that spans all religions and classes? Or maybe just more kids on a leashes. Well, you're in the right place. In this episode they get more vulnerable than ever as they share a deeply personal story of a drunken night spent cleaning out Hannah's childhood closet. But what they found is far too explicit for a Spotify description, so listen in your nosy bitches.

Hannah and Hannah are on their woo woo shit (again). Trigger warning for this episode is that it is NOT funny. Do NOT listen if you're expecting to laugh. If you are, however, looking to have an existential crisis over your younger self and face that little fucker who lives inside you head on, then look no further. They are affirming, they are healing, and they are taking on god honest trauma with a trip to Build-A-Bear. Does it work? Who fucking knows, but at least their trying. If you're in need of some B-list, free therapy, metaphysical bullshit that they read on the internet somewhere and are taking way too seriously then - you're welcome.

Hannah and Hannah dog on everything they believe to be overrated. No description spoilers, they don't want their unpopular opinions in writing. But here's a permanent audio for you to listen to at any time, any day of the week, for the next hundred or so years. Forced positivity is overrated, let's be negative this week! Leave a hate comment if you loved it :)

You know what they said, “if it flunks it flunks.” And well ladies, they're flunking. Enjoy an absolute hodge podge of an episode where they deconstruct both the feminine urge to drink a large coke in a schlotzsky's parking lot and also the weird shit they do to cope with the trauma they endured in their childhood homes. They dive into the all-consuming teenage drive to buy accessories from Charming Charlies and the mutual hatred they share over the trend “gatekeeping.” They talk about their weird voodoo-ritual-prayers they used to take part in as children as well as their upcoming trip to the American Girl Doll Cafe (yes its open invite). They end on trying to indulge in the woo-woo shit that is crystals, the power of the moon, and their horoscopic sexual compatability with eachother…try to keep it in your pants, jesus. Anyways, its not a great episode, but its an episode.

Life long learners Hannah and Hannah offer their knowledge on spontaneous rat abortion, pork cheek ragu, and how many children Elon Musk really has. Hannah shares an unfathomably intimate dream about a past coworker, and realizes her type is just anyone who looks remotely like Jack Black. You don't want to miss their pros and cons of a piss kink, or Hannah's experience working in a local meat market. Also, for transparency sake, Hannah had a margarita. Anyway, what childhood toy did you play with growing up and did you make them fuck during a tsunami? Press play queens.

Hannah and Hannah share the things in this world that make life just a little more livable: everything from a Subway footlong, to a limited edition Starbucks bedazzled cup. Yes, these are the things that have changed their lives, and yes, there's absolutely no theme here. In this episode they endorse the material things that got them out of dark depressions and the smells that make them absolutely feral. If you're wondering what these girls like to spend their hard earned cash on, well this is the episode for you. These ladies don't believe in affiliate links (at least not right now) so you know what they have to say can be trusted. These are the products they will scream from the rooftop, sell their souls for, and perhaps maybe their bodies. Tune in if you want a reason to spend money or if you just want to find out what a bidet up the ass feels like. Everything is linked on the gram @hannahyoureyelling so pull out your wallets and start spending some goddamn money on yourself because YOU DESERVE GOOD THINGS.

Couldn't get enough? I see you're back for more. You're a whore for this podcast huh. Fuckin weirdo.