Happily NEVER After

Does your life feel more like a true crime drama than a Hallmark romance? Us too. And with all of this quarantining, mark our words... Snapped is going to have A LOT of content to pull from. With that in mind, Happily NEVER After is taking a sharp left into the Hallmark Movies and Mysteries films! We have had such a blast reviewing this genre, we've decided to go all in. They manage to mix some flirtation into these murders, so it's really the best of both, you know? Anyway, our first ep back is Murder She Baked: A Chocolate Chip Mystery. Hannah, Alison Sweeney - Biggest Loser, Days of Our Lives - is part-time bakery owner, part-time detective and her small town friend Ron shows up dead in his milk truck. In her bakery parking lot, no less! There's also a love triangle between Hannah, some other guy who looks good in decent lighting and the delightful Cameron Mathison. There's a rich, snooty family, tons of baseless accusations and peeping through windows and around corners. We make fun of it all. Take a listen!! Link in bio. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Y'all...we are back with another episode after a long break! This one is a special request before we kick off our holiday season... So my good friend asked us to recap In the Key of Love starring Laura Osnes and Scott Michael Foster. Never heard of them? Not surprised. Maggie (Osnes) abandons her promising singing career to run her grandmother's wedding photography biz and, of course, her ex-singing partner-boyfriend, Jake, walks back into the picture when his sister is getting married. This movie really is a spectacle in gaslighting and manipulation as just about everyone in town, including Nana Evelyn, is driving Maggie back into what seems to kind of be an emotionally abusive relationship filled with guitar singing and Jake's incessant mansplaining. If you can sift through all of that to catch the sweet moments, you just might really enjoy In the Key of Love! Go listen now!  --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

We're back with episode 40! Bethany Joy Lenz and my main man, Andrew Walker, return to the Hallmark silver screen for Bottled With Love! Abbey is the totally non-Hallmark-typical type A control freak with a high powered marketing job who's got to deal with her boss's prodigal son, Nick, who leaves a salmon boat fishing expedition to return for a quick stint at the family biz. You know, as one does. Before all that, though, Abbey gets stood up at a wedding and puts a message in a bottle - also as one does - as a call out to the man of her dreams, complete with return email address. Which makes one slightly eye roll at her complete freak out meltdown when dream man eventually does contact her...by email...as prescribed...by the message she lobbed into the Boston Harbor. Anyway, there's weird AOL 90s style chatting with screen names alongside marketing meetings that go awry and other disappointments. All of it leads to two coworkers who are much more than coworkers at a cidery figuring out they might be in love. And pancakes...a humongous stack of weirdly delicious pancakes. Don't worry, we break it all down. Go listen, now! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

NEW EP! It's Spring Fever, y'all and HNA is bringing you Flip That Romance with Julie Gonzalo and Tyler Hynes. Jules Briggs and Lance Waddell used to be a thing...two years ago...until their flip project went flop and Lance ran for the Portland, OR hills in search of solo fame and fortune as a... contractor. But when the paparazzi didn't flock, Lance came crawling back to daddy's business in Bedford where he ends up, once again, faced with a still-salty Jules. Not so coincidentally, the two end up buying separate sides of a duplex, which turns into a huge pissing match and legit wager as to who's side will sell first and for the most cheddar. When a local design magazine gets wind of the competition (and past romantic history), the whole thing gets propelled into overdrive and while the timeline for their flip shortens, Jules and Lance start to remember - despite tons of bitter rehashing, complaining and other childish shenanigans - why they should probably just bury their paintbrushes and grow old together in Bedford. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Welcome to Bruges where the players play, and they ride on them gondolas everydayyy... OK, perhaps not. This is a Lacey Chabert joint, after all. Join your fave hosts and our super special guest, the super lovable Drew Current (@drewbutwithpants), producer of Lifetime Uncorked, as we try our best to explain our take on Hallmark's Love, Romance and Chocolate. This wannabe piece of foreign-style cinema follows accomplished baker Emma (Chabert) as she gets brutally dumped, sheds not one tear and simply carries on with her life starting with a vacation for one to Bruges, Belgium. As one does, she runs into Luc (Will Kemp) who is running a failing family chocolate shoppe. With the Royal Chocolatier competition just two short weeks away, Luc's pregnant assistant selfishly goes out on bed rest leaving Emma - the American tourist who knows jack squat about chocolate making - to obviously step in as his assistant and virtually save his family's 30-year chocolatier legacy with cherry coke. If you're stopping now to ask, NO this doesn't make any sense! A bad version of Chris Martin also tries to get in the way of all the chocolate romance, but in the end goes back to his successful business leaving Emma to fall madly in love with the dude who she will need to stay in Bruges with and support financially, creatively, emotionally, etc. for the rest of their lives. Join us and Drew for an amazing episode and a lot of laughs! Go listen, now! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

We're baaaaaack!  And as promised, our first ep back from the break is a three movie mystery series starring Life Goes On stars, Kellie Martin and Chad Lowe. We know...you can barely contain your excitement either!!Hailey Dean is an ex-DA turned therapist who sees no patients, but still moonlights hard core at the local police station in the very small town of ATLANTA. Her fiancé Will was tragically murdered in an alley 20 years ago and she was the target, a fact that has haunted her for all of these years. The killer was never found. It takes us halfway through the first movie, 2+2=Murder (yes, that's the title) to meet Clyde Bennett (Lowe) who was Will's annoyingly creepy old baseball team buddy. Apparently, college baseball teams have really elaborate reunions (seriously, balloons, slideshows, mailed invitations) to which Hailey has been invited. Most likely so Clyde can keep incessantly bringing up, as he does, how Will is dead, no one solved the murder and how remembering college baseball times is really important. It takes two more movies to get there - A Marriage Made for Murder and A Will to Kill (just cruel), but in the end we discover that Clyde is not exactly the unassuming, baseball-loving, awkwardly stalking, sharp dressing real estate developer that we had grown to tolerate in six hours of cinema. Nope, he's much, much more.  --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

So, y'all, we couldn't say we got through Christmas 2018 without bringing you our very special recap of the Netflix sequel, A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding. Amber (ugh yes, that's still her name) and Richard are back to not only get married but save the Aldovian kingdom from financial ruin. Of course, we had to bring back our favorite guest, Ashley Proctor, to judge and snark along with us through this ridiculous second act. Richard is now King, remember? No, we know you forgot. We kept forgetting too. Anyway, Aldovians are losing their jobs and they are "royally" pissed, hehe, and Richard can't just jet off to the Amalfi Coast during these types of crises, he's got to stick it out in the kingdom and start finally reviewing these budgets. Meanwhile, it's wedding season and Amber and crew - Dad and friends in tow - are navigating the importance of lifestyle blogs, dress fittings, AND this financial situation that is plaguing Richard's new king...ship? Not sure that's a word. Oh and Simon - last movie's attempted-crown-stealing cousin - is back to help this time and totally vibing with Amber's hottie friend from NYC. We decided we like it. Anyway, take a listen and laugh at this crazy trip to the royal altar with an investigative twist! Go! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

On the 8th day of HNA Christmas, Hallmark gives us a movie where the townspeople of struggling Christmas, CO (yep, Christmas is the name of the town) basically work day in and day out over the course of several days to keep a female ski resort exec from Denver trapped in their town so they can BRING, not stop from bringing, but BRING a fancy ski resort to their town, which will undoubtedly bring hardship and eventual failure to any of the existing small business currently operating in their precious town. Are you with us? Did you catch all that? OK... Eric Mabius expertly plays Gage McBride, loveable, single-dad Sherriff of Christmas who is simply watching all of this madness play out while shaking his head. Jennifer Finnigan is Madison, the initially eye rolling ski resort exec who was forced to scope out the town by her boss, takes out the town sign and is forced to stay the many "days" it will take to fix her car - wink, wink. Prevailing belief: if we build a ski resort, tourism will return to Christmas. Until they all slowly remember that ski resorts bring a host of crap chains and big box retailers that will put them all out of business. I didn't say they were quick studies... It's a lot of back and forth until Madison ends up falling in love not only with this crazy town, its people's relentless pursuit of Christmas magic and Sherriff Gage who, let's face it, is that perfect combo of rugged hotness, sarcasm and charm that no self-respecting woman would kick out of...ahem...her sleigh. ;) OK, go listen now... this is one for the books! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

HNA's 7th day of Christmas brings you Ashley Williams as airline pilot turned Alaska ranch owner Zoey Hathaway in the Northern Lights of Christmas! Y'all, Ashley has done A LOT of TV Christmas movies by now, but she takes cooky optimism to a whole other level in this one. Whatever happy dust she's under the influence of is only amplified by Corey Sevier who plays her polar opposite as the grouchy ranch groundskeeper, Alec. Zoey's hometown mentor, Gus, has died - naturally - and left her his ranch, which Zoey is determined to sell in order to run back to Seattle and fulfill her dream of buying a charter plane. Alec makes it super obvious that he's upset about Zoey selling the ranch with a bunch of foot stomping and pouting until the two strike up a deal to at least agree on which buyers she will accept to ensure Gus's ranch is in good (small town) hands. But then brilliance strikes because how else do you more quickly sell your ranch other than creating an entire town Christmas festival in 9 days? Better staging just isn't going to do it and Alec is game to help. So off they go and along the way Zoey inserts every damn Christmas memory she's ever had into this flipping festival and drags the whole town into her personal problem, but they're all happy to help so it's fine. Do you think she sells the ranch in the end? Do you think Zoey and Alec end up together? Go listen and find out! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

The 6th day of HNA Christmas brings you Mingle All the Way! Get your techy hats on y'all because Hallmark takes us into the very complicated - and super hard for your accountant mom to understand - world of (gasp) dating apps. The perky and delightful Jen Lilley plays Molly Hoffman, creator of a professional "dating" app called Mingle All the Way. It's designed for "platonic plus ones" to find that special someone that they can fake date for the holidays. Remember that old Hallmark classic, Hitched for the Holidays with Joey Lawrence and Emily Hampshire? That was actually the first movie we covered!! Aww... Anyway, this movie is basically a techy reboot of the same concept. Brant Daugherty plays Jeff, a ridiculously hot Christmas craft-making advertising guy (not sure those actually exist, but OK) who's feeling the shaft at work because he is without a sig fig. As per the formula, Molly and Jeff meet under some duress and are immediately annoyed with each other but decide to couple up so that Molly can get her app funded and Jeff can get the L.A. office. How could these two gorgeous people that initially hate each other fall in love at Christmas time? Listen and find out! Seriously, go hit play now.

On the 5th day of Christmas, HNA gave to me some flashbacks and CCB...! OK, here we go with A Shoe Addict's Christmas, people. This was a highly anticipated 2018 holiday movie as it features one of the Hallmark queens herself, Candace Cameron-Bure as Noelle (yep, in a Christmas movie), a personally and professionally stuck department store HR manager who finds herself planning the annual firefighter's Christmas gala. She meets Luke Macfarlane, firefighter hottie and new neighbor, who is considering trading fire pole slides for a desk job. You'll get a lot of whiplash as the lovably cooky Jean Smart wrenches Noelle back and forth between the past, present and future versions of her life as she tries to show her the benefit of taking risks and having faith. Shoes are somewhat involved but not at all central to the storyline, so don't be worried or upset when all of that never really ties in. OK, go listen! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

On the 4th day of HNA Christmas, Regan and Robyn bring to thee an ice skating royal movieeeee! Bring it on down to Sansanova, y'all where the king is smokin' hot and the ice skating is luke warm, at best. Christmas at the Palace stars Merritt Patterson as Katie, a long since retired figure skater who is on the cusp of owning her very own ice rink in beautiful, crime-free Trenton, NJ with her gal pal Jessica. The only thing standing in their way is Jess's last skating hurrah in the kingdom of Sansanova - you know, any fictional country, EU. Single dad and (super hot) King Alex, Andrew Cooper, is trying to step out of his (dead, obvi) Christmas-loving father's shadow when he meets the feisty Katie on these Sansanova streets. They've got 13 days to plan the Christmas Eve skating pageant which is the exact amount of time it takes Katie to dump her rink-owning dreams, stop skating exclusively in her mind and fall deeply in love with King Alex. We couldn't have laughed harder...take a listen! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

For our 3rd day of HNA Christmas, we’re bringing you It’s Christmas, Eve! LeAnn Rimes (yep, same one you’re thinking of) plays the title character, Eve, a no-nonsense temporary school superintendent who’s used to breezing into town, cutting budgets and taking names. Until this latest assignment brings her back to her hometown of Franklin (no state provided) where she meets smokin hot single dad, Liam played by Tyler Hines. Y’all, he is still stunning in these cable knits and henleys, FYI. That said, Liam runs the music program at Franklin High, so he’s onto Eve’s budget cutting designs. His hotness, and dedication to his students, convinces Eve to reroute her budgeting plans and instead helping the town raise funds to save their schools! Do you think LeAnn sings at a Christmas concert before she and Liam fall in love?Listen and find out!! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Our 2nd day of HNA Christmas brings us to Hallmark's Christmas at Pemberley Manor! Jessica Lowndes plays Elizabeth Bennett and Mark Rady is Mr. William Darcy, himself. Don't be fooled, though, people... The actual congruence to anything Jane Austin-related here is completely non-existent. If you were hoping for a nice period piece, prepare for disappointment as you drive up to Pemberley "Manor" which is really just a big house in Lambden, CT. Darcy is a rich NYC business guy who has divorced himself from the whimsy of Christmas due to painful family memories and Elizabeth is an event planner who is getting her first step out from behind the curtain to plan the Lambden town Christmas festival, thanks to her old friend (zoned) George. Liz has to convince Darcy to let her use Pemberley Manor to host it when the town water main breaks leaving the square useless. That never happens in these movies (ahem, When Sparks Fly #Markleseason)! It's not the joy of Christmas, but his own company's reputation that convinces Darcy to let Liz have run of Pemberley for the week, so that's cool, and Liz puts on a festival that is both tasteful and kitchy... Her boss Caroline, however, is none too pleased with the level of elegance nor how close Liz seems to be getting to Darcy. There's some other stuff about George, two assistants falling in love and a weird Santa-like groundskeeper who saves the day. But he's totally par for the course if you watch these movies. Oh, and Liz and Darcy fall in love. OK, that's it! Go listen! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Welcome to Memphis, y'all, where it's Christmas and the CGI snow is brimming! Episode 28 is LIVE and our first Hallmark Christmas episode of our 12 Days of Christmas! Our first pick is Christmas at Graceland with Kellie Pickler and Wes Brown. You guys remember Kellie from American Idol, right? From the super sad season that Taylor Hicks won?? No? Anyway, Kellie is Chicago financial shark and single mom, Laurel who heads back to her home town of Memphis to close a bank deal with a bank owner who could care less to actually sell his bank. Wes is Clay - damn good Southern name, too - the old hometown bf and singing partner (naturally) that's got a one way ticket to NYC with his name on it if, and only if, he can promo the hell out of this year's Christmas concert. If you think Kellie ends up singing at the concert, you've got these movies nailed! They take us to the actual Graceland, beat us over the head with too many renditions of Silent Night and pawn Kellie's fake daughter off on her old childhood friend enough times to rekindle that old spark between Laurel and Clay. Add a panty drop moment at Elvis's piano and Kellie is waving bye to Chicago and staying put in Memphis. Of course, the business deal and Laurel's VP hopes go right down the tubes and Clay dumps the Big Apple and chance to go full legit concert promoter to stay in Memphis...you know, for love. Take a listen! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Why do we do what we do? How did this thing get started? What is important to us about watching these crazy movies and sharing our views? How are we the same and what makes us different than other podcasts that deliver similar content? All of these questions and more will be answered when you listen to this super fun (and, of course, hilarious) bonus episode of HNA! We also shout out some other really fun and generous folks at other pods - what up to Lifetime Uncorked and The Bubbly Sesh - for sharing the love and some of their spotlight this past year. A year in and we've got new, legit music and a spring in our holiday step! Have a listen! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Have you ever lived in a small town that had it's own radio station? Did you ever need to save that radio station by having a bachelor bake-off? Did you then happen upon a new-in-town bachelor that couldn't bake but who was also willing to enter that bake-off with an excitingly delicious vanilla cake? If you have, then you had better watch Falling For You with Taylor Cole and Tyler Hines! And if you don't feel like watching the movie, in this bonus ep, @happilyneverafterpod gives you all the highlights of how Lacey and Zack tackle painfully simple budgets, a slew of unnecessary Fall foliage and small town IT in order to realize they are in love. OK, go listen! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Episode 25 is out! Y’all... the doc and I are so tired right now in our lives for so many reasons, and one of them most certainly has to do with getting behind 3 of these movies to spit out one (albeit fab) pod episode. The All of My Heart series is most def a #Hallmarkie fave and so we could not let Fall Harvest pass without giving our unforgiving take on these crazy lovers, Jenny and Brian, and their goat-infested inn. AOMH features Hallmark queen Lacey Chabert and the effervescent Brennan Elliott as two NY city slicker strangers who inherit an inn and spend the first movie arguing about whether to sell it or make it a BnB. With what money? We still don’t know, even after seeing this exact same plot carried out in Truly, Madly, Sweetly the week prior. Somewhere along the way, though, they fall in love and because of that, Brian spends the next 2 movies combating Jenny’s endless sighing by working hard for the money in various ways to keep the inn afloat amidst bankruptcy and family takeovers. That be it. Oh and Jenny and Brian get married. Ed Asner gives her away - major highlight. OK go listen!!! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Every now and then when the cosmos align perfectly, your dearly departed cupcake truck customer leaves you a garage...err, carriage house... behind a used-to-be bakery in the heart of a major metropolitan city. The other part of this super realistic fantasy is that she left the attached bakery to her distinguished-hot nephew who only kind of remembers he had an aunt. These two star-crossed bakery owners, Nikki Deloach - Natalie - and single dad Eric, Dylan Neal, go back and forth a bunch of times about whether or not to dump their prime realty. But when they both get baked by the love cupcake (see what I did there?), neither can resist risking it all to revive Delitto's Bakery and a little 75/25 romance. With what money? We seriously still have no idea. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

We’re back with episode 23! We took a left turn into Hallmark Murders & Mysteries on this one, but don’t worry – they found a way to weave plenty of romance with these robberies and aggravated assaults into Along Came a Nanny. The effervescent Cameron Mathison plays Mike Logan, a fun-loving detective who goes under deep cover as a, you guessed it, nanny in order to crack a local robbery case. Mike effortlessly infiltrates the local nanny group, including Jessie (expertly played by Sarah Lancaster) – super hot variety of nanny, manages to remember he is still a detective here and there, sleuths out the perps and learns how to mop a floor and do some light sewing in the process. Oh, and he and other nanny fall in love after a harrowing rescue, but you knew that. This corny take on Alex Cross’s Along Came a Spider is truly ridiculous. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Yes, yes, ya'll... It's ep 22 of Happily NEVER After! It's still the #summerofbadtitles and we're bringing you Bridal Wave with none other than the delicious pairing of Andrew Walker and Arielle Kebbel. Georgie is a rhinoplasty nurse who is about to marry her super vanilla, rhinoplasty surgeon fiancé, Phillip Hamilton. This lukewarm relationship is rudely interrupted when during their wedding weekend, Luke (Walker, yum) busts onto the scene in his crew cut and sandals. He used to be a successful architect, but he's done with all that success and regular shoes. He's now ready to walk barefoot near the local grotto and make furniture for the forest animals to enjoy. After we endure two crazy moms and the trappings of a Holiday Inn Express (on the water), who do you think Georgie ends up with in the end? The dry, workaholic nose doctor or the mandal wearing, jobless sketch artist? Listen and find out! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

There’s no time like the present to kick off our #summerofbadtitles with a recap of Accidentally Engaged! This very 90s feeling 2016 release stars Lexi Giovagnoli and Brant Daugherty as two “actors” who embark upon the most unrealistically happenstance romance any of us has ever seen. Clarissa is a waitress/aspiring actress who gets fired from a bit part in one of Chaz (yes, Chaz) Hunter’s latest hit movies. Chaz is caught up in his own complex relationship with a married, party girl creeping hard on 45. This is every movie we’ve seen before where two idiots pretend to date each other in an effort to gain some kind of foolishness and then end up falling in love. To be clear, you don’t really see the love happening, but they kiss at the end a la Sixteen Candles so it must be real! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Alright HNA fans, episode 20 caps off our take on Hallmark June weddings because, frankly, two of these was all we could take. The Perfect Bride: Wedding Bells is the sequel/finale to what we can only guess was it's riveting prequel, The Perfect Bride - not sure, we didn't bother to watch it. Anyhoo...Molly, played by Pascale Hutton, has effectively moved on from her heartbreaking altar fiasco with Steven and is primed and ready for happily ever after with Nick, Kavan Smith. If you're also staggered by these real-life names, you're not alone. Nick and Molly have A LOT going on. While she's trying to fully finance and purchase her own gym, he has left behind wedding photography for more artsy pursuits including a gallery opening. When the wedding venue totally biffs on their date to the tune of 6 weeks away, these two overthinker, overplanner types become the most unorganized, scattered and just plain indecisive couple any of us have ever met. Oh, and Steven rears his ugly head again, naturally and quite literally, doing nothing for the story line. If you're an Iron Chef fan, tune in as The Chairman himself also makes a quasi-meaningful appearance. Does that make you want to tune in? Oh yes, you do. ;) --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Yay! @happilyneverafter is back in full effect! For episode 19, we are bringing you Love at First Dance from the June Weddings series! Becca Tobin, from the late (and not as great) Glee seasons, plays rejection-fatigued dance instructor, Hope Maze and Niall Matter, of other Hallmark pursuits, is Eric Gunderson, an up and coming financial executive. Eric’s getting married to his super hot financial robot fiancé, Adriana, and this wedding is all business. Also, Eric can’t dance. How on earth is a high society wedding gonna fly without a professionally choreographed dance by the bride and groom? Enter Hope, her fabulous dance outfits and maybe the first four steps of the waltz. As Eric spends more time with Hope, he begins to reconnect with his artsy side which does not bode well for his business dealings, uh we mean undying love, for fiancé Adriana. Turns out falling in love with your dance instructor is easy when she’s the only one willing to hang out with you for several days in a row and is getting paid to do it. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Heeeeyyyyy… Bringing you episode 18 of @happilyneverafter! Wanna watch a one more movie where Hallmark tries to convince us that Meghan Markle is full Caucasian? If so, then you are going to LOVE our recap of The Dater’s Handbook, starring the Duchess of Sussex herself! Cassandra Brand, self-made marketing exec and corporate business owner is, GASP, unlucky in love. After dating a string of men who find no value in carrying on meaningful conversations or attending family functions with her, Cass turns to The Dater’s Handbook to help seek out the man of her (most average and most boring) dreams. Her overbearing sister bullies her into rating the two guys she is currently dating, Robert – Kristoffer Polaha – and George – Jonathan Scarfe, against this super lame handbook that values reliability over “sparks”. After many obviously bad decisions, Cass tosses the dumb handbook in the trash, runs through a street fair of fake dragons and ends up with the right guy for her. BONUS! To truly cap off #Markleseason @thedoctorrobyn and @oneanddoneregan walk you through our thoughts on the Royal Wedding! Best episode EVER! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

We are staying on this #Markle train with episode 17 of @happilyNEVERafter with My Summer Prince! When you’re a PR assistant with a dragonlady for a boss, the best thing you can really hope for is… No, not to find a new job with improved chances for upward mobility. You are simply hanging out waiting for a prince to whisk you away to his castle far, far away. Right… But anyway, Taylor Cole – Hallmark veteran, and Jack Turner – new to me, are riding this REO Speedwagon gravy train all the way back to the kingdom of Edgemere. First, though, Mandy Cooper, played by Cole, will need to wrangle this mischievous prince by waging some (painfully stupid) shenanigans of her own. While no one in real life would not have looked up the actual face of a world renown PR professional that they had hired to save their kingdom, Mandy manages to briefly steal the identity of her boss Dierdre, played by the famous Lauren Holly, so she can save him from Idaho town jail and “keep on loving” her summer prince. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Happily NEVER After is back with episode 16! What can I say about this movie? Sometimes you’re having a bad day, get a flat tire and a prince stops to help you change it. After that, at his sage Black valet’s chagrin, prince Nate excitedly volunteers to work (seemingly for free) at your family’s garden supply store AND gets you, a budding yet unexperienced landscape architect, a once in a lifetime gig redesigning the gardens of the hottest estate in town. Yes, people. This is where Susanna Truitt, played by Megan Park – nope, you don’t know her either – and Prince Nathaniel of Cambria, Jonathan Keltz – also unknown, find themselves at this point in their lives. As with any prince about to become king… of an entire country… he’s very reluctant about all of the responsibility, he’s never been in charge of his own life, blah blah whatever. @happilyneverafterpod will gladly take over. Anyway, they overcome a meddling, Cambria-splaining queen, ridiculous amounts of yard work and a shabby coronation to find this international love. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Hey, hey… episode 15 is live! We kicked The Sweetest Heart to the curb for the #Markleseason celebration that is the movie Royal Matchmaker. (Bethany) Joy Lenz – seems she’s also kicked her first name to the curb – is celebrity matchmaker Kate Gleason who has been sought out by the kingdom of…wait for it… Valdavia, because it seems that you can just make these Eastern Euro names up. Kate’s challenge will be to successfully match Prince Sebastian with his future queen, as daddy king is tired of these royal responsibilities and is ready to finally fast track his aged son of 30 to the throne. But not without a bride. With her trusty work sidekick Brittney in tow, Kate is determined to find a wife – and some damn good advertising for her start up business - for this thorny prince who doesn’t believe in love. It’s a rocky start, but in the end witty insults, dilapidated community centers, gladiator-style war rooms and misdirected feelings give way to a matchmaker and a prince who are a perfect match, 98.5% in fact, for each other. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Like we said, people, it’s #Markleseason so we’re letting it rip with When Sparks Fly, starring the soon-to-be-duchess herself as Chicago newspaper writer Amy Peterson. It’s pretty shocking to find out that after seven years of being away from your hometown, your BFF is marrying your old super serious flame with whom you might still be in love but don’t realize it yet. When we head back to Lakeside, WA, we not only learn that Amy’s best friend Sammy is 4th of July obsessed, but that she’s also a pathological liar...or at best, a chronic omitter of life-altering truths. In a series of awkward instances of finding out information that would have been useful to know before she got back home, Markle...err, Amy, is taken on a hometown trip of discoveries that eventually lead her to rip off the band-aid that is her best friend’s engagement and reclaim her old flame. Throw in Amy’s parents’ failing pyrotechnic business and this one really explodes! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

We’re baaaaaack!!! After what feels like AGES, we are psyched to bring you episode 13 of Happily NEVER After! As promised, our latest recap is the North Carolina Hallmark fave, Love On Ice. Why a state that barely sees snow has hitched its wagon to a movie about figure skating in sub zero Michigan is beyond us. But here we go. Emily James is a former championship figure skater played by General Hospital alum Julie Berman (remember Luke and Laura’s daughter Lulu?) and Andrew Walker, aka Mr. @oneanddoneregan, plays figure skating coach Spencer Patterson. After a happenstance meeting in the local café, Spencer’s obsession with Emily – and his quest to find out her reasons for hanging up her skates eight years ago - really takes off. Together they overcome an aggressive skating mom, a salty ex-coach and the ghost of parent past to a Midwest Regional figure skating comeback that finishes up a bit more “symbol” than we imagined it would. Overall message: a bit of low-key stalking absolutely can turn into a consensual courtship on the ice. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Are you a mid-30s professional with a fine AF best friend that you are secretly in love with and who is also secretly in love with you? Do you enjoy masquerade balls, but only if you have three months notice to attend? Have you donated money to your local botanical gardens lately?? Do you even like flowers??? If you can answer yes to any or all of these questions, then Very, Very Valentine starring Danica McKellar (not Patrick), AKA Winnie Cooper, is your sure-fire road map to everlasting love. Helen (McKellar) and the delightful Cameron Mathison, Henry, are college friends who have reconnected in NYC some years back. A masquerade ball, masked hottie and grip of Cerino de Bergerac meets Cinderella type shenanigans makes these two besties finally realize that the true love they’ve been scouring the city for has been right under their nose all along…along with all of them damn flowers. Gesundheit. Listen and enjoy! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Come along on a journey with us to a vineyard in the Oregon countryside where Chloe, neglectful daughter to a loving, but oddly dismissive, father and an overly confident country boy, turned New York city boy, turned back to country boy named Seth fall in love – but not into a marriage, thank goodness – in about four days…TOPS. An eraserless chalkboard ensconced in Chloe's late mother’s cabin plays a critical role in “Handyman” and “In Need of Repairs” – yeah, ew, gross – getting to know each other better. Lacey Chabert of Party of Five fame plays Chloe Grange of Grange Family Wines while Andrew Walker, just mostly Hallmark movies, is Seth Anderson, her knight in corporate-family winery-takeovers. The big question becomes… Will he convince dear daddy to sell the family winery making him the VP of party wines or will he risk it all for the chance to be Chloe’s “handyman” for life? As if we didn’t know… --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

For our landmark 10th episode we're taking a break from recapping and having a detailed, and fiercely opinionated, chat about what we call The Hallmark Formula. With the help of a couple of fun articles and videos we found on the interwebs, we discuss the key elements of these movies that have made them and the Hallmark Channel so "successful" and what also make them maddeningly frustrating to the reasonable viewer. Because yes... If you think falling in love in three days is normal, I'm calling you unreasonable. Join us for this one! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Welcome to our Hallmark movie podcast where a friend and I watch one of these ridiculous movies, get together and proceed to dismantle them trope by trope and stereotype upon stereotype...until there is nothing left. Oh, while we drink. This time, we bring you Frozen in Love to close out our Hallmark Winterfest recaps. Rachel Leigh Cook – remember She’s All That? Heck yeah you do! – is the owner of a failing bookstore who’s oddly attached to the classics and has never left her parents’ dinner table. Niall Matter is Adam Claiborne, a pro hockey player who can’t control his well-intended temper tantrums on the ice. Thanks to old college connections, a smokin’ hot, but she’s ethnic so we ignore it, PR lady comes up with a genius idea to pair these two up in an effort to rehab professional images and save bookstores. Brace yourself for the gratuitous Tom and Huck references and sled along with us to the politics and murder-free sleepy town of DENVER, COLORADO where these antics apparently qualify as front page news. Although Mary and Adam’s first encounter starts off pretty rocky (shocker), they grow and mature just enough to set aside their differences about whether bookstores really are just coffee shops with books and what hockey actually is. And by the end of roughly four weeks, Anna and Kristoff…err, Mary and Adam, fall Frozen in Love. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Welcome to our Hallmark movie podcast where a friend and I watch one of these ridiculous movies, get together and proceed to dismantle them trope by trope and stereotype upon stereotype...until there is nothing left. Oh, while we drink. We are coming in hot with our first Hallmark Winterfest movie, Love on the Slopes. Frightened of all things life Alex Burns (Katrina Bowden) is a copy editor on a stalking…err… work trip, while Cole Taylor (Thomas Beaudoin) is a self-proclaimed-expert-at-everything, famous photographer and extreme sports coach. These two not only have oddly similar last names in real life, but they meet semi-accidentally at a snowy mountain resort and kind of decide they like each other enough to kiss just in time for the end of this movie. She’s trying to win a super dope work promotion and he’s trying to live as a recluse in the town where everybody knows his name. Proof positive that when excessive mansplaining mixes with sheltered, low self-confidence, it’s a recipe for love. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Welcome to our Hallmark Holiday podcast where a friend and I watch one of these ridiculous movies, get together and proceed to dismantle them trope by trope and stereotype upon stereotype...until there is nothing left. Oh, while we drink.If you haven’t heard of A Christmas Prince on Netflix, exactly what extremely heavy rock have you been living under??? Rose McIver (familiar-ish?) and Ben Lamb (nope) meet at his soon-to-be kingdom in fictional Aldovia, fall in love and into a snowy proposal in about a week’s time. Sure, Amber/Martha’s a copy editor for a gossip rag and Richard is a prince fast-tracked for coronation, but when a girl is sent to get a juicy story, she’s gets her damn story...and much more. Nothing will keep these two apart - not spoiled little sisters, gold digging exes, power hungry blood cousins, paternity secrets or even the common type of round-the-clock security that any decent castle should have. Break out your good champagne and your Chucks and hitch a ride with us to breathtaking Aldovia (still not a real place) to take in this love story heard ‘round the world! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Welcome to our Hallmark Holiday podcast where a friend and I watch one of these ridiculous movies, get together and proceed to dismantle them trope by trope and stereotype upon stereotype...until there is nothing left. Oh, while we drink. Christmas Belle stars Haylie Duff and Nicholas Gonzalez. Haylie’s character, Belle Everheart, a realtor whose job is made to seem far more involved by having her additionally moonlight as a rare book dealing estate cataloguist. In a poor attempt at a modern, live-action Beauty & the Beast, she is sent away to a large estate to meet Hunter Lowell, a grouchy commodities broker, who mentally abuses Belle and his entire mansion staff as a result of his death-riddled past. Circumstances cause a sudden 180 and Hunter magically (not to us) realizes that Belle is all he could ever need in a lifelong partner, asking her to marry him after a rocky three-day courtship. The two overcome several obstacles including a jealous non-boyfriend, lazy business owning father and supervising mansion Christmas décor which culminates in a Christmas dance and everlasting love. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Welcome to our Hallmark Holiday podcast where a friend and I watch one of these ridiculous movies, get together and proceed to dismantle them trope by trope and stereotype upon stereotype...until there is nothing left. Oh, while we drink. A Bride for Christmas stars two Hallmark circuit regulars – Arielle Kebbel and Andrew Walker – yes, we know you don’t know who they are. Now, if you think love has been fast-tracked in previous episodes, this one takes two commitment-phobes on a bullet train clear past the altar and into a fully fledged MARRIAGE in less than ninety minutes. Jessie and Aiden meet under the pretense of a testosterone-induced bet, get railroaded into spending an inordinate amount of time together, weather a stalker ex-fiancé and unexpectedly (well, not to us) fall in love. Could they have just dated seriously? Sure! Could it have simply ended in an engagement? Of course! But these two wanted to go “all in”. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Welcome to our Hallmark Holiday podcast where a friend and I watch one of these ridiculous movies, get together and proceed to dismantle them trope by trope and stereotype upon stereotype...until there is nothing left. Oh, while we drink. Our newest episode brings it on down to Frumptown with Mayim Bialik (you know, Blossom) in her debut/finale Hallmark triumph, The Flight Before Christmas. What makes this episode so special – because it ain’t the movie – is that Dr. Robyn and I have invited special guest, Ashley Proctor, to share in the breakdown fun! The three of us carefully navigate airport protocol, conveniently quaint small towns, RELATIONSHIPS and even the general habits of an old Christmas dude to explain how a cougar and a robot fall in love in roughly 36 hours. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Welcome to our Hallmark Holiday podcast where a friend and I watch one of these ridiculous movies, get together and proceed to dismantle them trope by trope and stereotype upon stereotype...until there is nothing left. Oh, while we drink. In this episode, The Doctor and I are taking you back to 2007 because Hallmark Channel absolutely struck gold with this classic. Two nutbuckets, Melissa Joan Hart and Mario Lopez, fall midly in love when one "kidnaps" the other and they go home for Christmas. Is it true love or is it Stockholm syndrome? You be the judge! Whatever you decide, listen and enjoy! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Welcome to our Hallmark Holiday podcast where a friend and I watch one of these ridiculous movies, get together and proceed to dismantle them trope by trope and stereotype upon stereotype...until there is nothing left. Oh, while we drink. In this episode, I'm back with the lovely Dr. Robyn as we (barely) make it through Broadcasting Christmas, starring Melissa Joan Hart and Dean Cain. Proof positive that double the stars sometimes makes only half the movie. Listen and enjoy! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Welcome to our Hallmark Holiday podcast where a friend and I watch one of these ridiculous movies, get together and proceed to dismantle them trope by trope and stereotype upon stereotype...until there is nothing left. Oh, while we drink. In this episode, my esteemed guest, Dr. Robyn, and I walk each other through Hitched for the Holidays. It stars Joey Lawrence...and Emily Hampshire. Yes, a woman you've never heard of. Listen and enjoy! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app