Podcasts about AWW

Karen Dukess's first book, The Last Book Party, was wildly successful by any measure—sold at auction, Indie Next pick, Discover New Writers pick… you probably read it. The second…Didn't sell. Not as in, not very many people bought it but as in, no publisher published it. She spent the requisite couple years or so, her agent signed on but… no takers. She felt like she was the only person in the whole entire world that that happened to… until she started asking around. Turns out, you know how people say writing books is hard? And publishing is tough? They're right!Never fear, Karen lived to tell the tail. Her next novel (do we call it second or third?), Welcome to Murder Week, is wonderful and available in a bookstore near you (and as you'll hear, I loved it and it's the perfect page-turner but not-anxiety-producing read for a swimming pool, beach, airplane ride or couch). But the real joy is that Karen is willing to dish. You'll hear:What happens when you want to be a bullet journal sticker getting writer with your butt in the chair but you're just … not.How to have fun writing a book that maybe no one will want (and why you'd better).How Karen found the right mindset to keep going.Karen's one rule as a beginning writer who couldn't quite get the hang of 1000 words a day. Links from the Pod:LauraPaloozaKaren Dukess, The Last Book PartyZibby EventsThe Murder of Mr. Wickham by Claudia Gray#AmReadingKaren: The Original, Nell Stevens KJ: Welcome to Murder WeekKaren's Substack Keep Calm and Carry On, a Substack from Karen Dukess or find her on Instagram @karendukess, or her website www.karendukess.comDid you know Sarina's latest thriller is out NOW? Rowan Gallagher is a devoted single mother and a talented architect with a high-profile commission restoring an historic mansion for the most powerful family in Maine. But inside, she's a mess. She knows that stalking her ex's avatar all over Portland on her phone isn't the healthiest way to heal from their breakup. But she's out of ice cream and she's sick of romcoms. Watching his every move is both fascinating and infuriating. He's dining out while she's wallowing on the couch. The last straw comes when he parks in their favorite spot on the waterfront. In a weak moment, she leashes the dog and sets off to see who else is in his car. Instead of catching her ex in a kiss, Rowan becomes the first witness to his murder—and the primary suspect.Digital books at: Amazon | Nook | Apple Books | Kobo | Google Play | Audible Physical books at: Bookshop.org | Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Indigo | More paperback links here!New! Transcript below!EPISODE 452 - TRANSCRIPTJess LaheyHey, it's Jess here. A few years ago, I got to go to Laura Palooza. Laura Palooza is the conference that is run by the Laura Ingalls Wilder Legacy and Research Association. I was invited because I wrote about Laura Ingalls Wilder and the Little House on the Prairie books, and at the very beginning of The Gift of Failure, there's a mention in the opening chapter. And I was invited to go, and it was fantastic. And I got to meet Dean Butler, who had played Almanzo, which was quite a moment for me, because I had been quite in love. Anyway, this year's Laura Palooza 2025 is going to be taking place July 8 through 11th, 2025. Laura Palooza 2025's theme is prairies, pioneers and pages. If you want more information on attending Laura Palooza 2025, you can go to L-I-W-L-R-A — L-I-W-L-R-A dot org slash laurapalooza. I will be putting it in the show notes for whatever episode this ends up on, and it's going to be really, really great. I'm jealous that I can't go again because it's not going to be near me. It's going to be in De Smet South, I hope that's how you pronounce it, South Dakota. But they're going to even have, like, a feature on the fashion at the time. They're going to have a section on planes, claims and all those land deals, a beginner's guide to mapping homestead claims. It's going to be cool, challenging gender norms. Laura Ingalls in fiction, and Rose Wilder Lane in reality. Folklore, fiction or forecasts, separating and linking science, storytelling and mythology in weather, lore, that's going to be by Dr. Barb Boustead, who has been on this very podcast. She's fantastic. Laura Palooza 2025... July, you should go, you should sign up. It's really fun. They're going to be doing a field trip also to the Ingalls Homestead, I believe. Check it out. It's pretty cool.Multiple Speakers:Is it recording? Now it's recording, yay. Go ahead. This is the part where I stare blankly at the microphone. I don't remember what I'm supposed to be doing. All right, let's start over. Awkward pause. I'm going to rustle some papers. Okay, now one, two, three.KJ Dell'AntoniaHey, I'm KJ Dell'Antonia, and this is Hashtag AmWriting, the weekly podcast about writing all the things, short things, long things, pitches, proposals, fiction, nonfiction, in short or really actually, usually long. We are the podcast about sitting down and getting your work done. And I am KJ Dell'Antonia. I am the author of a bunch of novels, the most popular of which is The Chicken Sisters, and the most recent is Playing the Witch Card, and you should read them all. And I have with me today a guest that I'm really excited about for a topic that you all are going to love. So, with me today, I have Karen Dukess, and she is the author of The Last Book Party, which you might have read in 2019 because it was unmissable. It was everywhere. It was an Indie Next. It was a Discover New Writers pick, it was...it was all over the place. And that is partly what we're here to talk about today. And we're also here to talk about her new novel, Welcome to Murder Week, which I have just read and enjoyed, but mostly we're here to talk about the six years in between. So, welcome. I am so glad to have you here. So, Karen and I have met in person. We met at a Zibby book event and at an event for the amazing Annabel Monaghan, who also has a book out this summer. The lovely thing about the universe is that nobody reads just one book.Karen DukessThat is true. Thank you.KJ Dell'AntoniaSo, you can be like, yes, read Annabel's book, read my book. Read. I mean, anybody who reads? I mean, yeah, there are people who read just one book, it's probably not going to be ours. Oh, well, people seem to like the Bible. I don't know that's a popular one. See that? A lot around a lot of Crawdads, also see that. Okay, so anyway, tell us what the story of the long six-year journey between your very, very successful debut novel, and what is about to be your very different sophomore novel.Karen DukessSo, I feel like I have an upside-down writing career in that most people write a lot of novels that don't get published before they write a novel that gets published, and mine went backwards. So, The Last Book Party was my first novel, and I wrote it...Didn't... I wrote it, finished it when I was in my early 50's, around 54 -55, spent about four years writing it, and I had done a lot of writing before, then stopping and starting and thinking that. I must not have what it takes, because this is too hard. I didn't realize that novel writing just is hard, and that is the way it is for all but a few unicorn people. So that novel, I was so happy when I finally finished it. I was so satisfied to just finally have written a novel, and I was truly thrilled, and I I felt like, if it doesn't get published, I'll publish it myself. I'm just so happy to have achieved this goal. And then it sold incredibly quickly. It was unbelievable. I mean, it was like beyond my wildest dreams. It went to auction. It sold very quickly for a good advance, and the publishing experience was great, including the fact that they were originally going to publish it in 2020, but they decided to bump it up to 2019 I don't know why. But I was like, sure, I've waited to my 50's to get this book out, like the sooner the better. And then I dodged the bullet of waiting all these years to publish a novel and have it come out during the pandemic. So, the paperback came out in the pandemic, which wasn't great, but I still felt so grateful that I had gotten this book out before then. So, then I started working on my second novel, which later someone had given me some someone, a friend...it might have even been Annabel. Someone gave her the advice that your second novel, don't make it very, very personal. And I kind of wish I had gotten that advice, even though I'm not sure I would have listened to it. But the thing about a second novel, and I don't know if you experienced this, KJ, but if you have success with your first novel, the second novel is scary because you're like, was I a one hit wonder? You know, was it a fluke? Can I do this again? And people would say, well, you know how to write novels now. And I'd be like, no, I know how to write THAT novel. I have no idea how to write another novel. And the novel I wanted to write at that time was drawing on the many years I spent studying and living in Russia and working as a journalist in Russia. I was in Russia in the 90's, and I wrote a novel that was about an American woman's journey in Russia and some American journalists in Russia. But it was set in Russia in 2017 and with flashbacks to the 90's, and it was hard to write. It was not fun. I think I had, like, sitting on my shoulder this sort of like, oh, can she do it again? You know that kind of thing. And I knew that the luck I had the first one, like, you know, I knew it was unlike, unluck, unlikely to be like that again. Plus, I had this sense of like, this is my Russia novel. And even though it wasn't a novel like, directly about Russia, it still was my chance to sort of give my take on things there. So, I think I also had sitting on my shoulder, like all the journalists I know knew in Russia, and people that studied Russia and the real Russia experts, and what were they going to think of my take?KJ Dell'AntoniaOh, yeah.Karen DukessSo it was, it was not writing, sort of like joyfully, it was a tough novel to write. And then it was also, it was fiction, but it was sort of personal, midlife kind of novel. So, there was just a lot of baggage with that novel. And the writing of it was tough, you know, it was just, it took longer than I thought it it just, I just remember a lot of sort of hair pulling, kind of, you know, those writing days. I had a lot of them. I finished it. My agent said he loved it. I don't think he loved it as much as the other two novels I've written, but, you know, he was ready to send it out on submission. But as I was finishing it, I was getting more and more concerned, because I finished it right around when Russia invaded Ukraine. And my novel, which was set in 2017 Russia, now things were so different, and they had been increasingly becoming different. Suddenly it felt very anachronistic, because I wasn't writing with these big current events in mind. Plus, there was this whole kind of like, oh, Russia, yuck, nobody, you know. And I felt that too. So, I was nervous about it, and my agent was like, just finish it. You've spent this much time on it. Let's finish it and see what happens. And so, we sent it out, and the response I got was kind of... Uh not great, you know, it went to my publisher first. They'd write a first refusal, and we're like, this novel. It about American woman in Russia right now, it's just not the right time. And, you know, there may have been other things about the novel as well, but it was kind of a, like, not a good sell. So, we sent it out to maybe five or six more editors, you know, I got lovely rejection letters, you know. Well, I really enjoyed it. This part was so interesting. But, yeah, I don't know, I don't know how to market this novel right now. And it was, you know, it was crushing, of course, but it also kind of echoed my feelings about the novel. The whole thing gave me a knot in my stomach, yeah, so my agent said, well, we haven't really exhausted the possibilities yet. We can send it out another round, or you can revise it, or you can set it aside. And I felt really sure at that point that I just wanted to, I didn't want to keep submitting it. I just felt like not the right time. And it was disappointing, but it was also kind of a relief, because if someone had decided to publish that novel, I think I would have been really nervous for the whole time before it came out.KJ Dell'AntoniaI think the only thing worse than having your second novel not published is having it published to like, you know, universal hatred.Karen DukessYeah exactly.KJ Dell'AntoniaOr just, or just to your own disappointment, you know?Karen DukessYeah. And then there's a long lead time between the time and novel gets accepted and the time it gets published. And to just feel like, nervous that whole time, I just...KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah.Karen DukessSo, I was relieved and disappointed. And I remember very well thinking like, oh, well, this is what people talk about. When they talk about, you have to be able to deal with rejection as a writer, because I hadn't dealt with it yet. I had been so lucky, and I really had this sense of like, all right, well, now I get to find out if I'm really a writer, like, can I deal with this and or can I not? And so, I was like, I'm going to write something else. But I was determined to write something very, very different. Like, I needed the whole experience to be different, yeah, and it ended up being kind of liberating, because I went on a trip with my sister to England. We went to the Peak District in England for a week. We rented a little cottage, and this was right before the novel went on submission, I think, or maybe right after, maybe it was on submission, I don't know. So, it was around the time when I wasn't feeling good about the novel, but I wasn't sure it was like a dead deal yet. And we had this absolutely fantastic week in the Peak District, where I was my first time traveling in the English countryside. I'd been to London, but I'd never been in the English countryside, and I felt like I was just stepping into the pages of all my favorite English novels, like Pride and Prejudice and Jane Eyre. And also, like I was stepping into scenes of every BritBox masterpiece, mystery thing, I had written, you know, think, oh my god, there's a vicar. And just really, I was in a... my sister, we have similar reading tastes, and we were just both in this mood, like everything was just kind of entertaining us, and we were laughing at ourselves for seeing England through all these fictional characters. So, when I came back, I think I came back, and that's when I kind of realized this Russian novel was dead or shortly thereafter. And I thought, okay, I'm going to, I'm going to write something about Americans going to England. I want to continue that mood. And I really felt like, if I'm going to do now that I knew you could spend years writing a novel and have it not get published, which I knew intellectually before, but I didn't, hadn't experienced it. I I just felt like, if I'm going to spend another couple years writing a novel like fun has to be the number one thing. It just has to be fun. I'm like, not going to be miserable again. I can't do something like the Russian novel again. I have to just entertain myself and make myself happy, and hopefully it will entertain other people and make them happy too. And that's how I landed on the idea of sending these writing about Americans that go to England to solve a fake murder mystery, which is what Welcome to Murder Week is about. And I just had such a good time writing it. And I wrote it quicker than I've ever written. I wrote it in a little over a year, and it was honestly delightful. Like, I couldn't believe it. Like, writing could actually be really fun.KJ Dell'AntoniaWho knew? The result is also delightful. It just, it's, it's kind of like every warm and lovely book setting on to you you've ever read. It is it Is that I really enjoyed it, So...Karen DukessI'm so glad.KJ Dell'AntoniaI don't know what the Russian novel was like. That doesn't sound fun.Karen DukessI mean it wasn't really heavy, because I'm not like a heavy writer... like it still had...KJ Dell'AntoniaRight.Karen DukessIn it, and it had emotion, etc., but I'm not sad that it's not out.KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah.Karen DukessLet's put it that way, yeah. So, yeah, this one was just fun. And I, you know, my initial idea was to send a group of Americans to England. Initially it was going to be a writing group. I like the idea of putting characters together who would not ordinarily know each other, but to have them together in a space and then a friend of mine said, Okay, so that's an idea. You're going to send some writers on a writing retreat to England, and what are they going to do there? Like, write? Like, that's not very interesting. And that's how I, kind of, you know, ended up moving to this thing where I could have them participate in this weeklong, solve a fake English village murder mystery. And I could have, you know, the villagers, some of them participating in this, and some eagerly participating, some cynical and send a bunch of Americans, you know, Britbox crazed Americans, to compete in this thing. And, yeah, that's, that's how it ended up. And it was fun.KJ Dell'AntoniaI, yeah. I mean, it reads like you had fun. I, as someone who has... so Playing the Witch Card has like a big game sort of Halloween event at the center of it. That would be really hard to do in reality. This is kind of like that.Karen DukessYeah.KJ Dell'AntoniaLike, this is like the dream murder week, both from some of the point of view of someone who might want to put one on and from someone the point of view of someone who might want to go and do one. It's not, it's um, you know, it's not. Sometimes you read these and they're like, they're like, silly and hokey. It's like, very sincere, super fun murder week that anyone would wish that they could do that likes that kind of thing. Anyway, I yeah, I totally enjoyed it. All the characters were really fun. I could see that you must have had fun writing it.Karen DukessI did. And I also, you know, people often say, like, write the novel you want to read. And I really did that with this because I wanted it to have so it has a fake mystery, but then it has a real mystery as well.KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah.Karen DukessLike the main character, thirty-four-year-old Cath, little do you know, she goes on this trip because her estranged mother, before she died, booked them on it, and she's sort of reluctant to go, but can't get a refund. And then I sort of developed this whole story about she teams up with her house, shares a cottage with people to solve the fake mystery, but that she also solves the real mystery of why her mother wanted her to go, her late mother, and that was sort of like the writing the story you want to read. Because I like light and funny, but I also like something that has, like, some emotional heart to it, like I wanted to try to story that was fun, but that has something going on. And the more I wrote, the more Cath's serious story became part of the story, I think, in the first deeply satisfying, yeah, and the first version, the first draft that my agent read, and I had never shared a draft before with him, and, you know, I think I was just hoping he would be like, it's almost perfect. And he was like, well, I think Cath is the hardest story. I think you need to develop that more. And then I went back and did and sort of... blended the two. So, the whole experience was just, yeah, of course. Now I'm like, can I have fun again?KJ Dell'AntoniaYes, yes, you can. Nobody ever tells me my first draft is perfect, and I really hate that.Karen DukessYeah, I know. I think it's, I don't even know if I should have shared it with him, like, I just wanted him to say, like, it's amazing. And he was like, yeah, it could be really good.KJ Dell'AntoniaWell, but you just want them to know that you're doing, yeah, I'm a I'm going to share the first draft of the thing I'm doing with my agent, and it might be a terrible idea, but I'm going to do it anyway, because I want her to know I'm doing a thing. And yeah, I'm excited. And yeah um...Karen Dukess I also think that, like, you know, when I said that, it was liberating, in a way, to sort of have the experience that I had with the Russian novel. I think it was also maybe by the time, you know, getting to the third novel, or maybe it's getting to my age. I felt sort of like, I think I gave my permission, myself, permission to write a novel that, yeah, it has a serious story at the heart of it, but it's not like a deeply serious book, you know? And I think there's a tendency to think like, you know, I would look at the world around me sometimes, when I was drafting it, and feel like there's so many serious things to write about, and I'm writing this funny story, like, is that super fluffy? And, you know, it was like, this is what I wanted to write? That's okay, you know? I don't have to prove anything. Like, here is my serious tome. You know, I really just wanted to give people like, an emotional, amusing, heartwarming experience. And that is okay.KJ Dell'AntoniaIt is funny how locked we get into that, both as writers and as readers, this idea that if it's not serious or experimental or deep or dark, it's, I don't know, somehow not worthy. There was somebody was reading somebody's Substack the other day, and they were sort of deeply apologizing for the book they had recommended, which sounded really amazing. And I was like, why you, you know, you clearly enjoyed this, and it sounded great. And I don't. I mean, as a reader, I don't want to read things that are dark and deep and serious A. all the time...Karen DukessYeah.KJ Dell'AntoniaAnd B. sometimes not at all.Karen DukessYeah, I do like to read dark and serious, but I've learned that I don't like to write that like writing a novel is, it's always so much more time than you think. I mean, even this one was quicker than usual. It's a lot of time, like you're living it. And I was just like, I can't live in a dark place, like I can read a dark book in a couple days, you know? And...KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah.Karen DukessWipe my eyes and move on. But...KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah.Karen DukessYou know...KJ Dell'AntoniaA light one.Karen DukessYou could assume... but you know. When I'm writing a novel, I'm going to bed thinking about their the characters, and I'm thinking about it when I'm exercising, and it's just like churning in there, and I just don't want to be in a dark place for two years.KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah, and most of the time people, I mean, I guess it just depends on, on who you are. But a heart, it's hardly ever dark all the time. I mean, even people that I have known that we're going through some really horrible things have found, you know, levity and joy and pleasure in in some parts of it. And I think we all hesitate to say, well, that's everyone. Or you got to, you know, we don't want to impose that on every, on anyone, because that's kind of also where we are is, is this delicate dance of not wanting to expect anybody else to be the way you think they're going to be. But I it just seems like people find levity, even in even the worst, even in the worst moments. And people want, um, solace, you know?Karen DukessYeah.KJ Dell'Antonia Something... something pleasant... something.Karen DukessYeah, I work with an editor, kind of a more like a writing coach, like she doesn't actually edit, but she sort of helps me figure out the story and stuff. And there was one point when she was reading a draft, and there's a scene in the book. I don't know if it's a minor thing, but when my main character Cath, who there's a little romance in it. And when she's first together with this guy, and they're sort of rolling around in bed, the first draft that, the first version of it, she accidentally hit her head on the headboard, and then she's like, “Oh my god, are you okay?” And she was like, “no”. My coach was like, no, no. I don't want to be anxious that maybe this guy is a little violent. Like, no, no, you've got to take that out. I don't want to be anxious in the reading of this book. And it was such a minor thing that I think she was like...KJ Dell'AntoniaAnd you had him hit his head instead, right? Yeah.Karen DukessBecause I don't think anyone was going to worry that she's violent. But it was funny. It was like, she was very much like this book is, there are books where you want the reader to feel anxious, but she's like, this book is not that I don't want anxiety in this book you know?KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah, yeah.Karen DukessLike she's still concerned about Cath and her story. You can feel sad about what she learns, but not anxiety.KJ Dell'AntoniaYou know I think you've really put your finger on something, because that is exactly right. This book is a page turner, like you want to find out what happens. You want to be with the characters you want to it's a hang and it's like, like, I read something recently where, um, in the middle, you, I found myself sort of, I was still reading it because it was a good hang, but in the middle I was just kind of, like, I forget why we're here. I forget what I'm wondering. You're not really wondering anything, but I like it, so I'll keep this. Your book was not like that at all. This is a fantastic hang but you're right. It never, it's not... that's exactly right. It's not, it's not anxiety producing. And I think that's its own vibe. Like you can have romances that are fun and they're good, but they actually, you do have anxiety around, you know, like, how the characters are going to pull themselves out of this, or how they're going to feel or, yeah, and you can have them or you don't. I like that as, like, a sort of a line in the sand.Karen DukessYeah, yeah. And then I kind of thought about it as I continued, like, yeah, okay, that's right. We're not going to go to like, the really unsettling places.KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah. I mean, even if you really want to know what would what will happen, and you really want, like, the things that happen to turn out in satisfying ways, but it doesn't feel like, if they turn out in some like, there were a variety of available options, none of which felt horrible.Karen DukessYeah, exactly.KJ Dell'AntoniaThank you for that. Thank you for a lovely reading experience. So, what else did you take away? Like, what else did you change between the drafting of the book that does not end up being published, which you know, for all we know, is actually great, but the timing was really bad. What should you change?Karen DukessWhat changed for me... in writing?KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah, what are you changing? Did you change anything in your process?Karen DukessUm, I think I, I don't know if it was completely because of the experience with this book, but definitely it fed into it. Um, I worked with the same writing coach on the Russia book, and she keeps saying that book will be published someday. I'm like, yeah, maybe, maybe not. I don't really care, honestly at this point, but one thing that she really pushed on me, which I discovered in the writing of murder week, was really true, is that to be open and playful and just really to be creative, I needed that. I needed to be in the right mindset, like, I know your thing is always butt in chair, butt in chair. And it is true, you have to, you know, you have to push yourself to finish a novel. It's not easy. And there are times when you just have to push forward. But for me, in the drafting of it, like the butt in chair thing, for me, is more important in the revising and the final draft, when it's like, you've got to get through it, and you've just got to keep sitting there and doing it. But when I'm in this sort of creating stage, when I'm not sure what the story is, when I'm in those moods where I'm just like, sit down and work at this like, I don't write good stuff. I just don't. And she would sometimes say to me, like, if I would talk to her, and I was really angsty and I was really self-critical, or I don't like what I've written, or I don't know where I'm going with this, or whatever , she was really she would very much say, like, when you're in that kind of mood, just walk away. Don't sit at your computer. Like, that is not the time for butt in chair. That is the time for just go do something else and like, lighten up on yourself. And that was really true for this. And I'm trying to remind myself that as I work on the next novel that you know for me, being kind to myself and feeling playful and open is when I'm going to write the best stuff and surprise myself. And that applies whether I'm writing like a serious scene or a funny scene. And the tricky thing about it is, you know, it's always a little scary to write, so it's like, Am I walking away because I need to lighten up my mind, or am I just plain procrastinating?KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah, or am I walking away because I just don't know how to...Karen DukessSo, I think that is something though, that I do feel like I write better from a free place than from a sort of, like, grim, determined place.KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah, that makes sense.Karen DukessI think I was learning that and trying to learn that when I was writing the Russia novel, but it really came true with this one, which is why I think I was able to write it quicker, because it's actually, you know, the weaving together of the fake murder mystery and the real mystery and the arcs of all the different characters. Like, it wasn't simple putting all together, but yet it was simpler for me to write, because I was just looser about it.KJ Dell'AntoniaRight. I think you learned to trust that you would finish this, even if you didn't finish it today.Karen DukessYeah.KJ Dell'AntoniaDoes that make sense?Karen DukessYeah.KJ Dell'AntoniaI, yeah.Karen DukessAnd I just think, like, trusting the process is so important, you know. And I talk about this with friends in my writing group, you know, sometimes when you're like, working so hard to figure it out, because it feels good to figure the novel out before you write it, because then you don't have the anxiety of, what if I don't figure it out? But it doesn't always work best that way. I don't think, like, I think there are times for that, and there are times to just, like, just keep going and like, let it go a little and let some interesting things happen, and then you'll figure out how to put it all together for me anyway. But obviously I'm not a plotter kind of person, so...KJ Dell'AntoniaI think, yeah, I think that varies. But what's what I'm really hearing here is that, like, even you knew, okay, if I don't, maybe I don't sit down today. That doesn't mean I'm never sitting again, down again. And I think that is, that's part of what I struggle with in my like 1000 words a day. Just, just keep doing it time. And I, and I think I, too, have come around to the idea that I'm going to finish it like...Karen DukessYeah.KJ Dell'AntoniaI'm not. I'm not suddenly, you know, just because I only got to 700 words today, that doesn't mean tomorrow I'm going to be like, yeah, I'm not a writer anymore. Oops!Karen Dukess Yeah, exactly. Well, I think, and I think I've learned that, like, I can't tell you how many times, I mean, I've listened to your podcast forever, and, like, years ago, I would listen to it, and I would be like, Yes, I'm going to do the stickers, or, Yes, I'm going to do 500 words a day, or, Yes, I'm going to text a friend or you know, none of that stuff. I could never sustain it.KJ Dell'AntoniaIt doesn't work for you.Karen DukessI have no routine; I have no methods. But what I've learned now is like, but I get books done, so it's okay, like, yeah, I will sometimes go a couple days where I don't write, or I will, you know, think I'm on a routine of 500 or 1000 words a day for a while, and then I'm not, and that's okay, because it's just like, I know that I can still get them done in my crazy way.KJ Dell'AntoniaThat is what we have tried to start saying more often, is, listen, this doesn't work for everybody. If you're doing something different and you're getting the work done, then you're great, yeah, if you're doing something different and you're not finishing things, then maybe try this.Karen DukessYeah, well I remember, like, when I was working on The Last Book Party, right before I got kind of serious on it, I was in a writing group, and I was starting, then I was like, I was learning in the writing group through, finally being in a community with other writers. So, like everybody struggles. Published writers struggle. Really great writers struggle like and that, and I loved reading interviews with writers like I couldn't get enough of interviews and essays about writer's struggles, because I had to, like, keep convincing myself that like, my struggles didn't mean I wasn't a writer. But then there was one point where I remember making a rule for myself. And I was like; I am not allowed to read about writing if I haven't written that day. You know, spend a lot of time...KJ Dell'AntoniaYes.Karen DukessWorking on your novel, but what you're actually doing is like, reading about writing and reading interviews and listening to podcasts. So, it's like, I cannot listen to KJ's podcast until I've done some writing. So, I've had to, I have had to make some rules.KJ Dell'Antonia Yeah, well, that's, I mean, that's how you turned yourself into somebody who gets the work done, and now into somebody who has her own like now you have a way people ask you, so what's your process? How did you get this done?Karen DukessI don't think anyone has tried my process, but yeah. And it can be different for every book, I guess, you know?KJ Dell'AntoniaHorrifyingly, I think that it can when you see pointed out, yeah, you that you knew how to write that book, that is so true, and that has been a huge thing for me, is to realize that even after writing a bunch of books, people still struggle, it's still hard, every book is hard. Every book has, I mean, we have a joke among the podcasts, you know, because you get to a point where you're like, okay, I hate this now, and we'll all be right, right-on target,Karen DukessExactly.KJ Dell'AntoniaBaby's developing nicely. Here's our 18-month checklist. Aww and you're crawling, and you hate your book. Yay!Karen DukessYeah, yeah. I don't think the process gets easier, but I think knowing that you can get through it makes it a little easier. Maybe it diminishes the panic a little bit like, you know, you'll figure it out. You'll figure it out.KJ Dell'AntoniaWell, this, I mean, this has been great. I'm sure it's going to be inspirational for everyone. It is inspirational for me, because I also... so I have a book that I worked on for the last year and a half, and I, we didn't, we didn't try to sell it because, because it's not very good.Karen DukessAre you still working on it? Or...KJ Dell'AntoniaIt's leaving, it's living. I make these gestures as though, like, there's like, a blobby object over here that is my, but is my finished, but also not revised and not good uh...Karen DukessI had this theory about books, like, it's the same theory I had with au pairs.KJ Dell'AntoniaOkay.Karen DukessWe had a lot of au pairs when my kids were growing up and I was working out of the home, you know, not writing. And I felt like every time I selected, you know, they would come for a year. One or two of them stayed for two years. But every time I selected a new au pair, it was in reaction to the problems of the other... the previous au pair. So, like, when I had an au pair that was like a horrible driver, so much so that we had to, like, get rid of her. Then I was like, okay, where is it hardest to get a driver's license? Germany. Okay, I'm having a German au pair, you know. Then I had, like, a German au pair who was great, but it was like, she was too, I don't know, whatever if I had an au pair, that was like, two lax, then the next one was like, oh, this person has, like, you know, worked in a boys school. I want that.KJ Dell'AntoniaRight? yeah.Karen DukessAnd I feel like, you know, I wrote Welcome to Murder Week because I had had this tough experience with this Russia novel. Then it was like, I'm going to do something really fun. So, and I don't know that I would have written that if I hadn't needed so badly to have fun. I don't know that I would have said, no, yeah, forget doing something, you know, serious or with some geopolitical things in it. I'm going to write a, you know, a murder week story. I don't know that I would have written it if I could have gone on that vacation and just had a great time and come back and not felt the need.KJ Dell'AntoniaWritten something else.Karen DukessSo, you know, maybe the one that's not working is going to lead you to write the next fabulous thing.KJ Dell'AntoniaWell, I hope I'm already well into... I'm well into something else, but, yeah, it's, you know, you spend a lot of time on something, not everything works. It's one of the reasons this is a terrible job, and you absolutely shouldn't do it unless you know, you can't do anything else,Karen DukessExactly.KJ Dell'AntoniaOr unless you really want to.Karen DukessYeah.KJ Dell'AntoniaThere. That's that. That's really good advice. That's going to make a great bumper sticker. All right. So have you read anything good lately besides Welcome to Murder Week, which, in fact, is what I will be raving about in just a second.Karen DukessUm, yes, I read a book called The Original by Nell Stevens. It out in June. She's a British writer, and it's really good. It's sort of an also kind of genre, blending the way my book is, but it's very different. It's like a gothic novel. It's set in an old house in England in the 1800's and it involves an orphan who's being raised by relatives, and she has an incredible talent for painting forgeries, and she sort of has this secret business in selling forgeries, but it also involves an imposter who returns from abroad in the family, and there's a queer romance in it, and it's totally unlike anything I've read, and very compelling.KJ Dell'AntoniaOof, I love that.Karen DukessIn a really compelling way.KJ Dell'AntoniaAnd by the time people hear that, that this, this will either be out, or like, buy your next week self a present. That sounds great.Karen DukessYeah, it was very... it's very good. It's kind of like a rainy day book. You know?KJ Dell'AntoniaI love that. Well, I already raved about Welcome to Murder Week, but I'm telling you all, it's a real it's a real joy. I want to compare it to things. But there's almost like it's, I'll think of things that I that I want to...Karen DukessIt's hard to compare because it's not a traditional mystery,KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah, no, um, I feel like Clare Pooley's books are, and I can't even think of the titles of them, but that, yeah, that is kind of ringing the right bell for me. I don't know who else a little bit of the like the murder, like, if you really thought The Murder of Mr. Wickham was super fun, which I absolutely adored, that is completely different, and yet also it's the same, like, it's the same... I think the vibe we're looking for here is page turner, no anxiety. And I love that. I love that for all of us...in England.Karen Dukess Yes, yeah.KJ Dell'AntoniaSo go grab this one. You're going to enjoy it, all right. Well, thanks so much. This was really fun. Thank you for being so open, and not just, you know, wandering around saying, well, I just it took me six years to write this because it's very good.Karen DukessYeah, I have to say, you know, I think that writers should talk more often about their failures. And by that...KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah.Karen DukessI mean, like novels that they wrote and abandoned, or novels that they wrote and tried to get published and couldn't, because it was only until I wrote this Russian novel and didn't sell it, and I would mention it to people. Then all these writers I knew, and people I knew, you know, would suddenly tell me about their own published novels. And I was like, why did I know about this beforehand? There's no shame in it... you know? It's a tough business. It's a tough business. The writing is tough; the publishing is tough. And now I'm like, oh my god, like so many writers I know have novels that did not get published, and for whatever reason. And I'm sure many of those novels are great novels, and but knowing that you know the journey of being a writer, just like I don't know a single author who hasn't like lost their editor at some point, you know, their editor leaves. Then they find a new, you know, be assigned to a new editor. That happens everybody, and I realize how many people have novels that did not see the light of day, and it was comforting to know it. So, I think people should be more open about it.KJ Dell'AntoniaI think we just are afraid that, you know, a reader will hear, well, I don't know if she's capable of writing something... that doesn't work, maybe it's not very good, which readers aren't listening to anything. They can barely remember our names. They just know if the book sounded good and someone pressed it into their hands.Karen DukessYeah, had a great cover.KJ Dell'AntoniaYeah, had a great cover. Yeah, all, all of the things, and it's just, it's, it's just a little scary to admit, because I guess one of the scary things about it, of course, admitting that that has happened means it could happen again. And hey It could! Oh well.Karen DukessYeah, but I've survived it. So...KJ Dell'AntoniaYou've survived it, you would survive it again. And also, it didn't happen this time. Welcome to Murder Week is great, and everyone is going to be sitting with it by the pool looking very happy. This is my wish for you. All right?Karen DukessThank you. Thanks so much KJ.KJ Dell'AntoniaOh, thank you. Hey, anywhere people should follow you? Oh, you have a Substack. What is it? I love it!Karen DukessI have a Substack. I mean, I think on Substack you can find it by my name Karen Dukess, it's, I don't know... it's called, “Keep Calm and Carry On”, but I think you can just look me up by name on Substack, and I am on Instagram more often at Karen Dukess, as I post about books that I'm reading all the time. Obviously, there'll be a lot of quarter week stuff, but I try to, you know, I'm reading eclectically and all the time. So, I'm always posting about books. Those are probably the best places to find me. And I have my website with all my events on it.KJ Dell'AntoniaIt'll be linked. It'll be linked.Karen DukessGreat.KJ Dell'AntoniaHopefully I can get to something... all right. Well, thank you so much. And all you listeners out there, I mean, you know you do you, but in some way, keep your butt in the chair, hey and or your head in the game.Jess LaheyThe Hashtag AmWriting podcast is produced by Andrew perilla. Our intro music, aptly titled Unemployed Monday was written and played by Max Cohen. Andrew and Max were paid for their time and their creative output, because everyone deserves to be paid for their work. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amwriting.substack.com/subscribe

School of RockA 7-part series by Member389. Listen to the Podcast at Explicit Stories. I made it back with plenty of time. I set up an online music account on Emily's laptop, and we sat at the table downloading songs by Chuck Berry, Stevie Ray Vaughn, BB King, some David Gilmour and Eric Clapton."Are you turning my kid into a rock star?" Summer asked leaning on my shoulder, watching us select songs.I laughed. "Why not?" Emily hopped up out of her chair and started playing air guitar as I hit play on Johnny B. Goode. As it wound down she dropped to the floor kicking her feet. I laughed even harder. "I think I've seen that move before."Em got up breathing hard. "What about you, this is all guitars. Do you have any piano music?""That I do." I popped open the browser and found a video of one of my favorites. The song started and a rap sounded on the door, Summer answered it. A shuffle of people and chattering was going on and a pretty girl shot out from around Summer and came over to the table where we were."Hey Jessie, this is Pete," in an exaggerated whisper she followed up with, "he's my mom's boyfriend." I grinned at that."How are you Jessie?" I asked. "Think you can help with Emily's studying tonight?" Her expression froze on the word study."Relax, we're just going to listen to some music, not do algebra." Emily said, calming her friend.I stood up as the ladies approached, a woman a few years older than Summer walked beside her with a big smile on her face. Summer made the introductions and hands got shaken the big grin remained."Alright girls, are you ready? Let's get a move on we need to stop at the store and pick up some food on the way back to the house." Diane announced. "It's good to meet you Pete, hopefully we'll get to see more of you around here in the future." She winked playfully."I'll be glad to oblige." I replied with an equal grin. Jesse helped Emmy gather up her gear and they headed for the door.Summer stepped back in the kitchen rolling her eyes. She stopped and looked into my eyes, and bit her lip. "Now what?"I grinned and shrugged. "What do you normally do on Saturdays?""Clean, do laundry, run errands, the usual." She chuckled."Where's the vacuum?" I asked. "Four hands are better than two."We cleaned the place up pretty quickly, with a hand reaching out to give a gentle back rub, or an occasional kiss in passing."I might keep you around, you look damn sexy pushing a vacuum." She smiled as we sat and polished off the left-overs from breakfast for lunch. "You cook, you clean, you rescue damsels in distress, and you're amazing in the sack. Is there anything you can't do?""Well when your mother is Martha Stewart and your father was Superman, no." I laughed.Summer smiled. "I almost wish we were staying in tonight, Clark junior.""With the depleted state of your fridge, we'll likely be eating bread and water." I replied."Damn that's another thing we need to do.""Was that the towels in the dryer? They should be fine, let's go do it now. Do you have a list?"Summer shook her head and peeked into the freezer for a minute, then opened the pantry cupboard. "Was that all the eggs?""Yup, and don't forget the OJ."We wandered through the store and I watched as Summer filled in the cart I had."Do you do anything special on Sundays? You know, family dinner or anything like that?" I asked."No not really. Sometimes I'll make something big that we can eat for a few days in left-overs. Why?"I just shrugged and smiled. As we picked out the groceries I picked out a few things, made an occasional inquiry as to what Emily and her liked to eat. A few more things got added to the cart and she gave me a shrewd look."What are you planning?" She asked with a sly smile.I shrugged and smiled again. "Something going along with the theme. When do you think Emily will be home."We finished the shopping, and after a little head butting I slid my card and paid for the groceries."You're saving me a hotel and eating out, it's the least I can do." I argued and gave her back her little scowl. "Besides, you're so cute when you're angry." I prepared to duck but all I got was a raised eyebrow. We got everything into the house and unpacked, Summer turned and leaned on the counter, blowing a loose strand of hair out of her face."I hope I can keep awake during our date. What are we doing tonight?""Dinner for one, but that's a given, I need you to build up your strength." I winked, the rest is a closely guarded secret."I got it, no jeans or sneakers." She looked up at the clock. "Where are we going?" She sounded piqued. I just chuckled."Well we do have about an hour drive to get there, so we should be ready before 6."She just looked at me wide-eyed for a moment and swiveled her head to look at the clock. "Crap, I'd better get a move on. It's not as easy for us girls to get ready as you guys. It takes time for us to be presentable."I smiled. "The only thing you need to do is change.""No jeans." She parroted with me, making us both laugh. She leaned in for a kiss. "I get the shower first." She got up and sashayed into the other room."Damn, the only thing sexier than you in jeans, is you out of jeans." I called out.She came back in a long pink fuzzy robe a few moments later. "The same could be said for you." She leaned down and kissed me again. I took the liberty of slipping a hand up her leg, noting she was shower ready."You sure you don't want to conserve water and shower together?" I said smiling."If you join me, you may want to cancel the reservations now." She winked."I guess I'll just have to restrain myself then." I sighed, then frowned."Aww! You look like you lost your puppy." She said with a laugh.I gave her a light pat on the rump. "You'd better get in there before I lose my mind and take you right here.""Promises, promises." She said with a wink.I had been relegated to using Emily's room to get ready, Summer didn't want me to see her getting ready, she wanted to make an entrance. She made her way from bath to bedroom, singing a song under her breath, pausing to smile at me as she passed, and continuing her song. "So let's get it over and just get naked, With sweat dripping' down your little back." I recognized the song, she sang it when we were in Maine at the beach house, the lyrics were definitely not something you'd hear on the radio.I got my chance at the shower, the floral and fruity smell of soap and shampoo hung heavily in the humid air. I took a deep breath of it and closed my eyes a fleeting thought of kissing her neck, the scent of her intoxicating like a tropical flower. I finished and went across the hall and began dressing, keeping an eye to each detail as I donned the dark gray suit. The tailor at the shop that helped measure me told something I had no idea of, "a well-tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to a man." I had to trust her, she was a woman after all. I finished up getting the tie dimpled properly and setting the pocket square how she'd shown me. I remember something she said when she was kitting me out. "She must be a very special lady." I responded that, "she is a very special lady," with a smirk. I made my way out to the kitchen laying my overcoat across the back of one of the chairs and checked to make sure I had everything I needed. Spinning my wrist to check my watch, we had a few minutes before we needed to leave."Do you need a hand in there? I could call in the Army or something." I hollered."Oh hush! I'll be right out!" She answered through the door. A few more minutes passed before I heard the door open, only darkness beyond. "Prepare yourself, I hope you're not disappointed.""Oh stop..." I began as she walked into the kitchen light. She stopped tilting a hip, bringing one knee in front of the other like a runway model. She glowed in the dim light, her hair long, tucked back on one side with a silver barrette. Her eyes boring into me watching my every movement as I took her in. She wore a short sweater dress in wide gray and black stripes with knee high gray suede boots. Naturally tall, she was tall or taller than I was as my eyes slowly climbed back up to her face. The hint of a smile appeared as I took her all in."Speechless, huh, that bad?"I cleared my throat quickly. "No, no! You look stunning." I said with complete honesty."You look pretty handsome yourself." She responded, her voice husky as she looked me up and down."The tailor was right." I thought with a smirk. The twinkle in Summer's eye was causing my heart to melt a bit."Do you have a coat?" I asked, and she took one from the hall closet. I held my hand out for it and she smiled as I opened it for her to slip on."Such a gentleman.""I'll do my best." I replied grinning as I took my coat and we left.We made our way north to the city. I ignored her gentle prods to find out where we were going. She reached over and took my free hand while I drove. She didn't grip it tightly, but ran her fingertips along the seams of my palm, her thumb rubbing lazy circles across the back. She was quiet, but I could feel the hum of anticipation. I only hoped things didn't fall short of her expectations.I pulled up in front of the restaurant and a valet came around opened Summer's door as mine opened at the hand of another. He walked her around the front of the Jeep and handed her over to me with a big smile. We walked towards the door slowly."Are you nuts?" She said under her voice. "This is going to cost a fortune.""Don't worry," I replied, "haven't you ever heard of dine and ditch?" I said chuckling. "I'm not saying we're going to do this every Saturday, but you only live once. So let's relax and enjoy tonight." We stepped inside the lavish foyer where the host welcomed us. I gave him my name and he smiled checking off a list and asked if we'd like to check our coats before we were seated. I took Summer's before removing mine and handed them over to the coat room attendant. I turned to find Summer looking around with wide eyes, her lower lip held tightly in her teeth as she fondled her little heart pendant nervously."This way please." He said turning towards the dining room. Without thought Summer's hand slipped around my arm. I smiled and led her to the table. She got more than one look of admiration as we passed other tables. The host held her chair for her as she sat with a little smile thanking him. I sat down as he told us who our server would be and left.Summer watched as he stepped away and ducked her head slightly whispering. "I feel like such a grown up." I had to stifle my laugh.We ordered cocktails and then dinner. Summer indulging her love of seafood, I sat watching her eyes roll back with every bite of her scampi. The food was delicious, the wine as well. We finished with dessert and cappuccinos. She noticed I peeked at my watch."Already tired of me?" She said with a pout."Just making sure we're on time for our next stop." I smiled.Her eyes opened wider. "There's more?"I nodded with a smirk. "Not to worry, we're doing good on time." I said sipping my coffee.She gave me a shrewd look, then shook her head with a smile. "I honestly don't know what I've done to deserve this kind of treatment, but I like it." I chuckled at that. I paid the check, we collected our coats and got the car headed towards our next stop. The club was in a converted warehouse, the brickwork old and worn as we entered and I picked up the tickets I'd ordered earlier in the week. Taking care of that, we were led to a small table a few rows back from the stage. I held Summer's chair for her as she sat. I sat beside her, the table set so we were practically side by side. She reached under the table squeezing my thigh as she smiled. She had seen the posters as we entered for the show and beamed at me knowing her love of music. We ordered drinks and the show started. We listened, she sang along under her breath to a few of the songs. At some point our chairs got much closer and my arm was wrapped around her shoulder and she leaned into me putting her head on my shoulder during one song. When it finished she looked up at me, our faces close. She just tilted her head slightly her lips parting as mine met hers in a deep kiss. The applause for the song was our backdrop for a moment. She pulled back slightly, a smile spread across her face, her skin aglow in the dim light. She excused herself and went off to the ladies room.She returned a few minutes later set her clutch on the table as she sat, slipped her hand out of it and slipped it into my jacket pocket and withdrew it as she leaned in for another kiss. I smiled at her but the curiosity got the better of me and slipped my hand into my pocket. I felt a warm damp lacy bit of cloth. When the realization hit me I looked sidelong at Summer wide eyed. She just looked up at the stage biting her lip again and slipping her gaze sideways to me with a knowing smirk. She was lucky the club was crowded or I would have double checked. I removed my hand from my pocket and rubbed my nose smelling the musky scent of her. It inflamed the feeling that had been smoldering in me since I'd seen her emerge from her bedroom earlier. I politely declined another round from the waitress, and wondered how we could make a hasty exit without it being obvious. As the set ended Summer leaned over and whispered in my ear."There's a nice little park with a walk along the river not far from here.""That sounds nice." I said softly. I wasn't in the mood for an encore. I stood carefully buttoning my coat hoping my arousal didn't show. Summer stood gathering her things and we made our way out to the entrance to collect our coats.Once in the car she directed me through the streets down to the riverfront where found a place to park. We started down the walk to the waterfront, at one end of the park was a large brightly lit fountain, there were paths leading away down both river banks. She turned us toward the right which led us northward, lamp posts lighting the way, benches lay covered in autumn leaves, they lifted gently in the breeze off the water."Tonight has been amazing." She said wrapping her arm around my waist pulling herself tightly under my arm. I smiled."I couldn't agree more." I said.She stopped looking over her shoulder to make sure we weren't being followed. The city had the feeling of people huddling inside in this cold late hour. We were the only people around. She took my hand and led me away from the walk way up the lawn under the trees, leaves rustling under our feet. She stopped a few yards away and turned leaning against the trunk of a large maple tree. She laid her hands behind her against the trunk as she inhaled the scent of the dead leaves and smiled up at me in the dim light. I took her face in my hands and kissed her deeply. Her tongue slipped along mine as her hand gripped my neck pulling me down into her. I felt dizzy like the world had begun spinning around us and she was the only solid point which I could hold onto. I broke away gasping for breath."How's a girl to keep from falling for you?" She asked breathing heavily."I don't know, but don't let me stop you." I smiled and kissed her again. Her hand slid up the front of slacks stroking me firmly."I want you, right now." She said as she reached for the zipper."Here?" I asked chuckling as I looked around noting we were in darkness afforded by the leaves still clinging to the trees above us. My zipper was down and her chilly hand found what it was looking for and pulled me none to gently free of my clothing."Here, and now." She said stroking me firmly.I slipped my hands under her coat pulling her dress up over her hips. She spread her legs for me as she slid me into her damp heat. I groaned deeply as she wrapped her long leather clad leg around my hip urging me deeper. I reached around her grasping her exposed ass in my hands lifting her slightly as I leaned into her and pulled her down as I thrust forward. We both grunted as our mouths locked together. Her back arched away from the tree as I plunged into her in short hard strokes. I had her other leg around me as I drove forward with an urgency that scared me. She leaned her head back and gasped letting out high pitched whispers urging me on. "Yes, yes!" Being on edge all night it didn't take me long before I pitched forward pinning her against the tree as I climaxed, all of the tension built up finally releasing.I gasped for breath, and opened my eyes realizing I was staring at her little silver heart pendant. I was still holding her hard against the tree, my fingers buried hard into her flesh. I relaxed slightly, her legs jerked as she tightened her grip around my hips. "Don't worry I won't let you fall.""Too late." She said. I felt her tug the hair on my head as she lifted my face up to hers and kissed me deeply. "I'm already too far gone." She said smiling. "You're stuck with me.""I wouldn't say stuck." I chuckled, my heart settling back down to a normal rhythm. My arms were burning from holding her up, but I had no intention of letting her go. It was a moment before she set first one foot down, then the other, the feeling she could still fall over kept her arms locked firmly around my neck. As our bodies separated a cool breeze shot between us causing a shiver to run through Summer. She snatched the cloth out of my breast pocket and tidied up as quickly as she could before yanking her dress down to keep out the cold. She tidied me up as well before tucking me back in. She grinned tucking it into the same pocket as her panties."I'll pay for the dry cleaning." She grinned."No need, I'm never cleaning this suit ever." I laughed.She leaned forward laying her head on my chest nuzzling up under my chin. "I don't know what cologne you're wearing but it's a real panty dropper."I couldn't help myself and busted out laughing at that. Laughter fizzed up from Summer as well."Well that was the selling point, I'm glad it lived up to the advertising." I said. "It's getting cold, let's go home.""Tell me about it, you don't have an icy breeze blowing up your skirt." She said giggling.We made it home and stumbled into the house still chuckling about how the evening turned out. It wasn't long before we laid naked in bed, surrounded by the darkness and warmth."Thank you." She said and kissed me."For what?" I asked."For what?" She said surprised. "For everything you do. You're so sweet to me, and you spoil me rotten. Tonight being proof of that."I shrugged. "It's how I envision being in love is supposed to be." I swallowed hard. "You matter to me, more than anything. There's nothing in the world I wouldn't do for you."There was an uneasy pause. "Just don't forget who you are. No matter how much you love someone, you can't stop being true to yourself." She whispered, then kissed me. I felt dampness on my face."Hey, what's wrong?" I asked concern filling my voice as I pulled her closer."Nothing is wrong, that's what scares me." She said. "Try to understand what I said. I've been there before.""That's what made you leave when you did, isn't it. You were afraid."She laughed and a inhaled with a sniffle. "You could say that. I debauched a local teen, I probably would have been stoned out of town if anybody had found out.""Don't worry, we haven't used that whole scarlet letter thing in at least five years. You're safe now, and everything seems to be turning out alright."She kissed me softly and rolled over in my grip leaning back against me and tucked my hand up beneath her chin with a deep sigh. I kissed her behind the ear, eliciting a soft purr, before nodding off myself.Good things come to those who wait.We both jolted awake at the sound of a phone ringing. Summer bolted out of bed to answer it."Hello?" She said anxiously, after a moment she sighed. "Okay sweety, have fun, we'll see you this afternoon. Love you, bye."I looked over at the bedside clock and realized we'd slept late, it was after 9."They're going to a matinee in town then Diane is going to drop her off around 3 o'clock.""What will we do until then?" I said sarcastically.She looked me up and down with the blankets thrown back. "Oh I'm sure we'll think of something." She wiggled her eyebrows at me, and I busted out laughing.She climbed back into the bed, we were instantly kissing and touching, there was no urgency, just the acknowledgment that we were both where we most wanted to be, and with whom we wanted to be. Lips teased, fingers caressed, and time floated pleasantly by without either of us noticing. Summer rolled me onto my back and threw a leg over me sliding down my legs, and began licking my cock. She looked me in the eye as she did it, the hunger I saw there was intense. My breathing was getting shallow as I watched her get me harder and wetter. I lifted my hips hoping she would take me in her mouth but she only smiled, and licked again, and again. The sweet torture nearing a fever pitch, and she only continued, long slow wet licks."If you see something you want, take it." She said, her voice low and husky. She licked the length of me, then swirled her tongue around the tip. I gathered what little wits I had, and slid out from under her got up and walked to the foot of the bed seeing her beautiful ass pointing up in the air, moisture glinting off pink lips, I knew what I wanted. I placed my cock at her entrance and pushed slightly, eliciting a moan from each of us."I want it, and I'll take it." I said as I pushed forward burying my hard cock deep inside her. Summer let out a sharp moan, as she threw her head back. I began long hard strokes, the moans synchronized quickly."Pull my hair." She gasped. I reached up and gathered her hair and pulled her head back gently. Her moans increased and my tempo picked up, my hips driving her forward with every stroke. She began chanting, "yes, yes, yes, oh fuck" and I soon lost all control and took her hips in both hands driving forward a few last hard strokes exploding deep inside her. I could feel the walls of her cunt clamp down on me hard as spent myself in her. Summer collapsed face first into the sheets gasping for air. I still had her hips in a vice like grip as the spasms subsided."I didn't think it was possible, but I think you're getting better at this." Summer gasped from the folds of the sheets. "Which is impressive considering you were damn good at it in the first place."I smiled, gasping for air. "I have a good teacher." I released my grip on her hips and pulled free of her, she let out a sad little moan and rolled onto her side. Her hair was a complete mess, covering her face I could see her peeking out from between the locks. "Nice hair." I laughed."It has that freshly fucked look I was going for." She giggled. We cuddled for a while before she groaned. "We'd better get up, it's lunch time, and we'll need to be presentable when Emily gets home."I stripped the bed and got the sheets into the wash. Summer made coffee and whipped us up some brunch. A not so quick shower for the both of us and we were parked on the couch watching TV when Emily burst into the house, her friend Jesse hot on her heels."Hi Mom! Pete we listened to all those guitar players you gave me to listen to, they were awesome. They all play electric guitar though. I'm not sure mom's going to let me get one.""Well let's look at some great acoustics then. No need to dive head long into your rock & roll career just yet, you've got a couple years." I said laughing."We'd better get going Jesse." Her mother said.Em just sat next to me and I gave her a nudge. "Don't you think you should say thank you?" I murmured. She looked at me, smiled and jumped up and ran after Jesse and her mother. Summer and I hot on her heels to join in with thanks.She spent the afternoon apprising us of everything they did, and the movie they saw. At her insistence I gave her a short list of acoustic guitarists to research online. We ended up finishing our Italian food weekend with baked ziti for dinner. Bed time was a bit tougher, I had to promise to be there tomorrow when she got home from school before I got a hug.Summer poured the dregs of the wine off into our glasses and handed me mine. "You're doing it again.""Doing what?""Thinking, the question is, what about."I just shook my head. "Nothing really... it's just that..." I let out a heavy sigh.Summer's eyebrows raised as she waited for me to spill my guts."Promise me you won't laugh?" I said.She smiled. "Not a chance.""I was just thinking that I wondered what kind of step-dad I'd make."Summer's eyes popped open at that. A few expressions raced across her face, before quickly returning to a thoughtful look of her own. "Listen," she said, "don't get ahead of yourself. I don't want you to feel like you have to fill any role in that regard. Let's take it one day at a time. Besides, you have a lot on your plate to start with, a new job, a new city, a new life. The only thing she needs is a friend, and I think you've already proven that you can do that with little effort." She smiled at me, but there was worry in her eyes."That's not going to be a problem." I smiled back at her and drew her closer. "I'm turning into a worry-wart like you." I got a quick poke in the ribs for that.We were up at the crack of dawn, well actually before it cracked. Summer kept telling me that I didn't need to be up so early and I just turned her towards the bathroom to get ready for work. While the girls did their thing, I did mine, and had lunches ready to go for both of them, and breakfast laid out before they even popped back into the kitchen."Don't get used to this." Summer turned to lecture Em. "As soon as he's gone it's back to corn flakes and bananas." I laughed, as they dug into breakfast with a single minded urgency. Emily was soon bundled up and out the door with her book bag, Summer wasn't far behind her a deep kiss and a wish to play hooky from work. I patted her gently on the backside."Your patients are waiting for that bright smile to make them feel better." I said."Well if Mr. Brown makes a grab for my ass while I'm checking his vitals again, he may ended up for an extended stay with a few extra bruises." She said smartly. "I might just have to put him in restraints.""Sounds fun." I said wiggling my eyebrows."Maybe I'll bring some home for you." She grinned. She bolted out the door, as I shouted for her to drive safe.The next days lent themselves to relative domesticity. I played house mate, making meals, keeping things organized and assisting with homework.It soon came time for me to head home. That morning I woke before the alarm staring at the glow of the clock. Our lovemaking the night before had been frantic as if we were never going to see each other again. I could feel the slight sting of scratches on my back which left me with a feeling of contentment. As I wallowed in bliss at the feelings flowing through me I was surprised when I felt her lips brush the knuckles of my hand."You're awake." I whispered softly enough not to wake her if I was wrong. She responded with a gentle hum. I leaned forward and kissed behind the ear, a tremble flowed through her as she arched her neck gracefully inviting more of the same. I obliged her, a contented sigh was how she responded."I don't know how I'm going to keep from going crazy for the next two months." She said, another sigh escaping her lips."How so?"Laughter bubbled up from deep in her chest. "Despite what you may think, you're not the only horny one of this duo. I've kind of gotten used to this guy being ready and willing with little notice." She said as she snaked her hand over her hip grasping my cock."I hope he's not all your after." I teased.She rolled over quickly, her hand slipping around my neck bringing us forehead to forehead. "You don't think that, do you?" She asked, concern evident in her voice.It was my turn to laugh. "If I were at all worried, I wouldn't be here. Remember, I'm the one who came looking for you." I said as I kissed her. She took control and rolled me onto my back and straddled me. I wasn't sure if it was her hips pinning me to the mattress, or me pinning her hips to mine as she kissed my chest, she worked her way up neck. Quickly our lips crashed together, bodies gripped tightly not wanting to let go. She slid forward slightly and settled herself on me as she took my face in her hands, willing herself to slow down. I wrapped my arms around her waist holding her in place as I lifted my hips plunging into her in long deep strokes."Take me like you did the other night." She gasped into my mouth. "Take me like you want nothing else.""I want nothing else." I growled as I rolled her off me, she scooted onto all fours and snatched my pillow from the head of the bed hugging it tightly, her ass pointing straight up. I slid my hand down her ass and up between her legs, she was so wet and hot I thought she was melting. She pressed back against my hand and made a small yearning moan."Please." She whispered urgently wiggling her ass in the air. I felt my cock throb at the sight of her, in the gray light. I couldn't take my eyes off her, but my body moved without conscious control as I slipped behind her, took her hips in my hands and slid into her. She whimpered into the pillow, she tried to pull away from me and I only pulled her back onto me. I held her like that for a long moment, her cunt gripping down on me, trying hard to get me moving. I closed my eyes and tried to keep my breathing steady as I began rolling my hips back and forth. She let out a long moan as I picked up the pace driving forward. I don't know when I did it but I had my hand on her neck, holding her in place while I filled her with deep hard strokes. I was barely aware of her fingers stroking her clit lighting fast , as she began to jerk and moan loudly into the pillow. Her cunt clenched hard, the spasms were more than I could take as I erupted in her one last time.I reached up beneath her cupping her breasts and lifted her up toward me, she shifted her head to one side, reached back, and pulled my face down to hers and kissed me deeply."I don't deserve you." She said."Shush, you deserve everything I can give you and more.""I don't think I can take much more and still be able to walk." She laughed. Just then the alarm clock went off."Time to get up." I said softly into her mussed hair."I'd say you already did a fine job of that." She leaned forward crawling on all fours to turn the alarm off. She turned back towards me and flipped her hair back out of her face. The light was brighter, and shone in her eyes, the look she gave me was nothing short of feral. My stomach did a little flip and I suddenly knew how the gazelle feels when the lioness has made her decision. Summer crawled back towards me and leaned down taking my half hard cock in her mouth bringing it fully to attention quickly. She wasn't stopping, she hungrily sucked and licked bringing me near the edge and stopped. She turned quickly and laid back with her legs spread wide. "If I have to wait two months for more then I plan on filling up now." She held up her finger beckoning me towards her. I reached down and circled her clit with my thumb, her sharp intake of breath was all I needed to hear as I pushed deep into her again. She waved her hand at me in an effort to speed me up as she covered her mouth with the other. Soon the waving stopped and she was pulling and massaging her nipple. I began to flick her faster with my thumb causing her to yelp into the back of her hand as her hips arched up and I exploded again, with less force, but no less desire.We collapsed into a heap on the bed panting like we'd just sprinted a mile, the alarm went off again."I hate that thing already." I gasped. Summer chuckled before she rolled over and got up slowly, limping to her closet and pulled on her robe."Shit. You're hard on a girl's anatomy. I'm going to have to come up with a cover story for limping today. I guess I could say I twisted my ankle again. C'mon sleepy head, time to face the music.""I... I don't think I can walk." I chuckled. A few minutes later we were sitting around the kitchen table."Are you all right Mom?""Yes hon, I just stubbed my toe." She said sitting gently with her cup of coffee. I buried my face in my cup so as not to be caught grinning. "I'm going in a little late this morning, so when you get off the bus, head over to Beth's and I'll pick you up there. Okay?"Em just nodded, and continued eating her cereal. It wasn't long before she was giving me a big bear hug imploring me to drive safe so I'd be back in a couple months to stay. I had her promise to work hard on her schoolwork, and if she needed any help with her to call me.Summer made her phone calls and turned to me, her robe falling open slightly. "I feel like a hot bath." She didn't move but looked at me sweetly, the invitation was clearly implied."That sounds nice." I said pulling my shirt off. I looked up and her smile had gotten wider. I held out my hand and she stepped forward taking it in hers as I led her to the bath.She laid back against my chest, the warm water lapping around us, fingers glided down slippery skin. We didn't need to speak, our bodies were carrying on a conversation of their own."You know." I started softly. Summer quickly shook her head shushing me. She took my hand in hers running her fingers up and down the lines in my palm the turned it over rubbing the knuckles and surprisingly brought it up and kissed them. She relaxed even more and melted against me and laid my hand over her heart holding it there. I wrapped my other arm slowly around her and pulled her tighter against me."This is what love feels like." She whispered. I sighed and drew a wet heart between her breasts. She giggled as the water droplets slid down her chest. Time was moving far too quickly though and she stood up to rinse off, in the process she sprayed me in the face with a laugh. I reached up and gave her ass a wet smack which made her yelp. We dried off, Summer began applying lotion to her arms, and placed one foot on the edge of the tub and did one leg then the other. I don't think I'd ever seen anything more beautiful in my life. She took a bottle of baby oil and poured some into my hand. She looked me deep in the eye as she placed it between her legs. I took her cue and massaged it gently into her warm wet skin. She gasped, lifting gently away for a moment. Her hands were on my shoulders, holding herself steady as I massaged slowly, my middle finger slipped inside her. Her mouth fell open, her breath shallow and fast as I began pulling back and pushing forward in that little come hither motion she'd taught me years before. Her body tensed, her nails digging into my shoulders as she began to shudder. She was up on her toes now, as she moaned loudly. My fingers suddenly more slippery as I kept up my assault on her. She fell forward clutching me, her face buried in my neck."Stop!" She gasped, drawing in air deeply. "Stop, please." She pleaded. I let my finger slip out of her and gently patted her lips."You're not going to forget me in two months are you?" I said smiling."Forget you? I'm going to need two months to rest." She said. "Besides, it's a long dark winter here in the mountains. We don't want to wear ourselves out too fast now do we?" She reached for another towel and handed it to me, pushing me out so that she could 'put her face on' and get to work.I walked to the bedroom and toweled off along the way. That little moment we had aroused me incredibly, my hard cock bounced in front of me. I stripped the bed, not for the first time since I'd been there and made my way to the washer with the rumpled damp sheets. When I walked into the bedroom again Summer was wearing the palest pink lace panties and was bent over a drawer rummaging around. My arousal, which had begun to subside, was back in spades. She turned and peeked at me from under her hair. "Brute, I look like I've been the main course at a vampire buffet. Now I have to find a turtleneck or face a lot of embarrassing questions all day.""Like why you're wearing a turtleneck, a silly grin, and walking funny?" I laughed. I ducked as she threw a balled up t-shirt at me, but started laughing too."I get your point. Sandy and Sam will catch on quick, they've seen you, and won't be surprised." She found the shirt she was looking for tossed it on the bed. Pulled a bra out and whipped that on with practiced efficiency, she turned and noticed me standing there leaning against the doorway watching her, she just looked me up and down and sighed. "I'm sorry hon." Her eyes tilted and her mouth pulled down in a frown."What?" I asked, my eyes opening wider.She looked down at my bobbing cock. I just chuckled. "Don't worry about me, you don't want to be any later."She stepped over took a pillow off the bed and knelt down on it in front of me. "Sweets, you're going to be late." I said with a lot less conviction now that my cock was slipping over her tongue."Have faith in me." She said before swallowing me as far as she could drawing back with incredible suction, her cheeks hollowing as she drew me out. She began bobbing in earnest. I laid my hand gently on her head and began pumping furiously. She pulled back with just the tip in her mouth just before reaching up and massaging my balls. I couldn't take any more and filled her mouth, her throat bob as she swallowed. She cleaned me up quickly, and licked her lips clean, all the while giving me a look that said, "if I didn't have to get to work I could have kept you on edge all morning." I knew she could too. She stood up tossed the pillow back on the bed and grabbed the shirt pulling it on. She fluffed her hair out from the collar and smiled at me. She pulled on her scrubs, donned socks and her work shoes. She pinned on her badge and gave a little twirl, the smile still on her face."Will you put some clothes on so I can get out of here." She said laughing. "I can't tear myself away with you standing there like that.""Sorry." I said, not feeling one bit sorry as I grabbed my jeans. She went out and filled her travel mug with the rest of the coffee."Listen, if you feel tired you pull over. I don't want a call that they found you in a ditch. Drive safe okay?" She said in her best motherly voice."I'm already tired. I didn't get much sleep last night." I said kissing her."Make some more coffee, take a nap before you leave, stay until tomorrow, whatever you need to do. I'm serious." She said pausing to look at me. A moment passed and a tear rolled down her cheek."Hey, hey." I said gently brushing the tear away and kissing her. "I will be careful, don't worry.""I wish you didn't have to go." She said wrapping her arms around me and hugging me tight."It's only two months, and you'll be busy with Em, the holidays and work that it will be behind us before you know it.""Don't stand under any mistletoe before you get back here." She smiled though another tear followed the first.I smiled. "Consider yourself off the market. Your prince will return after the ball.""Don't you dare steal one of my shoes before you go." We both laughed at that."Come on." I led her to the Jeep, opened the door for her and got her settled in. "Drive safe, go on about your daily routine. Call me, text me, send up smoke signals, any time." I leaned in and kissed her softly. We lingered for a moment and I stepped out closing the door. She lowered the window."Smoke signals huh? Do you always run towards a fire?""It's what I do." I said smiling.Her face turned serious. "I love you." Her eyes welled up again."I love you more." I leaned in and kissed her again. "Now get going before you get fired."To be continued in part 7, by Member389 for Literotica

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Summer Arrives on the Atlantic Coast of Maine, in time for his first time.A 7-part series by Member389. Listen to the Podcast at Explicit Stories. I was finally glad to be out of school. My buddy Jeff got out last year. He went off and joined the military and left our little town. I figured I'd work the summer here and see what was what after the tourists left. It was still early yet, they hadn't started arriving yet, clogging the roads with their luxury cars, acting as if they owned the place. Truth be told, they did. If it weren't for them, the rest of us wouldn't have a living. Fishing wasn't cutting it anymore, and the old quarries down coast were barely running now. Luckily we had the tourists.I walked down into the village near the docks, and popped into the little corner store."Hey Peter." I heard as I walked in. Paula nodded at me and smiled. She and her husband ran this little place, and did well by the locals and tourists alike. I waved and smiled at her as I headed to the back and grabbed a soda from the cooler."You headed over to see Davy about work?" She asked."Yea, I figure I gotta do something before mom tosses me out of the house." I chuckled."Would you do me a favor? Chip is out on a delivery and we're short-handed. Is there any chance you could make a delivery for me, it's on your way. The lady has an account so you don't need to collect any money. It's just, I heard she twisted her ankle on the beach and I told her that if she needed anything to call us and I'd get it over to her.""Sure, where is it going?" I said.She handed me two canvas sacks from the cooler, and gave me the address. It was just a couple blocks over from where I was headed. Paula refused to let me pay for my soda before leaving. I walked the few blocks turning up onto the driveway that led to a house facing the water. I walked around the house looking for the kitchen door. As I turned the corner I saw a woman lying on a towel on the lawn. She lay there basking in the morning sun completely naked. A small pile of fabric beside her looked like a swimsuit she may have been wearing. I stopped and looked around, the spot was well sheltered on the curve in the road. Her long blonde hair trailed out above her on her towel, her arms down at her sides, her deep pink nipples pointing up to the sun. Her stomach was flat and a little glint of something shiny hinted at a belly button ring. From this distance I couldn't be sure. A small strip of hair dipped down between her thighs. Her legs were long toned and pale, but getting red. She had just started tanning by the color she'd turned already. She was going to look like a freshly boiled lobster in a very short time.I realized she hadn't heard or seen me, so I turned and cleared my throat loudly. I looked over my shoulder, and she hadn't moved. I decided I'd just put the groceries in the house for her. I set the bags on the kitchen table and peeked to make sure nothing needed to be put in the icebox. Thankfully I did or the cold stuff would have spoiled. I put them away and left the rest. I walked towards the back door again and looked out the screen at her. She was beautiful, like she'd just stepped out of a magazine centerfold. She still hadn't moved, and it wouldn't be long before she burned badly. So I took it upon myself to rescue her, that's just the kind of guy I am. I opened the back door and pushed it open as far as possible and let it swing shut. The loud rap of the wood on the frame did the trick. She jumped, then the realization that somebody was near and she was naked came on her and she rolled onto the grass pulling the towel over her covering up. I saw why she hadn't heard me as an earbud fell out onto the grass.She peeked over the top of her big sunglasses, and in an accent I hadn't heard around here, she asked. "Can I help you?" The scolding tone of her voice saying that she didn't appreciate being peeked at while she was sunbathing.I scrunched up my face. "Where are you from?" I asked, curious about her accent."Right here buster, I'm renting this place. Where in hell did you come from?" She replied."Oh! Paula down at the market asked me to deliver your groceries. They were shorthanded and I was headed this way."She just stared at me for a moment, and I returned the stare taking in the scene with a dumb-founded look."Would you be a gentleman and please turn around?" She said a little testily. I did as she asked. Unfortunately for her I'd turned and was looking directly at her reflection in the kitchen window. She stood up cursing quietly, putting her weight on one foot, and wrapped the towel around her and tucked it in above her breasts. She was tall, and though her breasts weren't large they were nicely shaped, and red. The little stripe of hair ended neatly where I thought. The towel was just long enough to cover her modestly. She hobbled over to the little pile of cloth and swept up her bikini and started hobbling towards the house like a wounded animal. She passed me and got to the step and hobbled up the half step, and opened the door using it for stability and hopped up the step into the kitchen.She hobbled back to the screen door and said. "Well come on in."I walked over and stepped into the kitchen. She was sitting down on one of the chairs one leg splayed out in front of her the other tucked under the chair. The smooth skin was kissed with a flush of pink. I knew she was going to regret falling asleep out there later, but I'm glad I happened to wake her up so she didn't get severely burned. She was fumbling with her towel to keep it up, and digging through a big pocket book."Paula said that you have an account." I held up my hand. "I'm not going back to the store anyhow."She peeked up at me from her purse through a tangle of long blonde hair. "Thank you, but I was going to give you something for the trouble. She mentioned that you wouldn't be here until afternoon because it was busy today." A pink nipple peaked over the top of the polka dot beach towel. She caught me staring. "Though it could be surmised that you already got your tip." She said an eyebrow going up, and a small grin turning the corners of her mouth up. She shook her head as she pulled the towel back into place and tossed the purse onto the table. She held her arm out straight with a folded bill in it. I just shook my head once and waved it off."Thanks, but you don't need to do that." I said."Don't make me get up, my ankle hurts like hell, and I'm in no shape to use it to kick your ass for being a peeping tom." She replied grinning. She waved the money again. I shrugged and took it slipped into my jeans pocket. I was hoping she hadn't noticed they were tighter in front than a moment before."Thanks." I nodded."No, thank you Chip, I would have come into town to get them later but she insisted on having you deliver them."I smiled. "I'm not Chip. He was doing another delivery. I'm Pete.""Nice to meet you." She said holding out a hand. "I'm Summer."I shook her hand. She had a firm grip and didn't let up until I did. I just stood there for a moment looking at her. She had mesmerizing blue eyes and a crooked little smile. I realized I was staring when her brow went up. I felt myself blush."Are you thirsty? I could use something cold." Summer asked. I nodded."If you don't mind, there's a pitcher of iced tea in the fridge. I'm going to go put something on besides a towel.""Not on my account I hope?" Why not, I figured, she seemed to have a sense of humor about getting caught. I smiled over my shoulder at her as I reached for the cupboard door. She laughed aloud at that.She stood again, wobbling, and took her bikini in hand and walked towards the living room and gasped grabbing for the door jamb. In the process the towel let go and she stood there grasping the towel in one hand the door in the other. Her long smooth back tapered to a narrow waist and flared back out to beautifully curved hips. On her back was a pretty sunflower tattoo with vines around it. There looked to be a figure in the center of it."Oh to hell with it. I don't think I've got anything left to hide at this point." She muttered and hobbled out of the room. I opened up the freezer and got a tray of ice out, and filled the glasses. I heard her fumbling around a bit and she started to hobble back out. She'd pulled a light blue flowered sundress on, and taken a minute to brush out her hair. She hobbled over to an easy chair in the living room and sat down. "Would you be a doll and bring that in here?"I walked into the living room and she was gingerly setting her foot on the coffee table. I handed her a glass and set the other down. I took the towel she'd tossed on the sofa and folded it up into a little bundle and went to take her leg. I stopped myself and looked up at her, from under fallen bangs."May I?" I asked. She held her glass with both hands, licking tea from her upper lip, and nodded. I lifted her calf, the skin smooth and warm in my hand, and slipped the folded towel under her ankle to pad it from the table. I set it down carefully and she let out a sigh. I sat down on the sofa and took up my glass. I was looking into the glass at the ice cubes floating around. I set it back down and went to the kitchen, found a plastic bag and filled it with the rest of the ice. I looked down at her, she sat there wide eyed as I reached to carefully set it on her ankle."Thank you," She said softly, with a smile "again.""You slammed the door on purpose didn't you?" She asked."Well you were beginning to look like a lobster out there, fresh from the pot. I wasn't sure if you were asleep and I didn't want you to burn, or worse." I said.She smiled. "Thank you." She said, and after a moment she added, "West Virginia.""Rockport here, welcome to Maine." I toasted her with my tea, and we clinked glasses. Neither of us said anything we just sat there enjoying our tea."You said this was on your way? Where were you going?" Summer asked."I was headed down to Davy's marina down the road." I said. Then pointed. "If you go down Sea Road and bear right. He runs a couple of boats for fishing, sightseeing and whale watching. I was going to see if he needed any help this summer."She nodded, and looked down at her ankle. Water running down her leg from the condensation on the bag."If he doesn't give you a job on a boat, you might want to consider going to medical school." She chuckled. "You're a quick thinker and have a gentle touch. I don't mean to keep you from where you were headed but since this is really feeling like hell." She pointed at her foot. "I was wondering if you could do me another favor before you leave.""Sure, what else do you need, lunch?" I asked.She laughed. "Well that would be nice, but I was just going to ask you to go into the bathroom and grab the ace bandage that's rolled up on the counter and the bottle of pain killers for me. I want to get this wrapped again, now that I'm not worried I'll look like a cat with one white paw."I set my glass down, and went to the bath and found the items. I found a bottle of sunburn lotion on the counter and brought that too."I see you came prepared to burn." I looked at the bottle."Well when you're as white as I am, it happens often, especially this early in the season." Summer said as she reached up for the items. She reached down and took the ice off, and dried her foot off on the towel. She crossed her legs, her dress riding up high as she reached to start unrolling the bandage.I laughed. "That looks more awkward than a lobster trying to climb a tree." I reached out for the bandage and took it from her. "Let me show you how it's done." I sat on the edge of the coffee table and laid her leg across mine. I wrapped her ankle neatly slipping the clips on at the end with a flourish. I looked at her toes peeking up, the nails a sparkly pink color. A small throat clear broke me out of my reverie, only to notice that I'd been absently stroking her shin and calf. I snatched my hand away, and felt my face turn bright red again. I looked down at the rug and apologized."For what? Doing a better job than I would wrapping my ankle? Or maybe the lame lobster jokes." She flipped a hand at me and took the bottle and popped it open. She poured out her dose and knocked them back with a swallow of her tea."I should take these with food." She took her foot off my lap and set it gingerly on the floor, grabbing the arms of the chair preparing to get up."Whoa! Where are you going?" I asked."I was going to go see what was in those bags to eat." She said."Sit down. I'll get you something." I answered quickly.She rolled her eyes at me. "You've done far more than you should have for a tired, broken down old lady." She rolled forward again, and I put my hand on her shoulder to keep her balance back."I'll get it." I said firmly. "What would you like?""You are too sweet." She said, relaxing back into the chair. "What did you bring?"I went into the kitchen to rummage through the bags. Given a little creativity and a few minutes time I whipped up a sandwich and chips. I peeked around the door jamb to ask if she wanted mustard or mayo on her turkey. The sight that greeted me stopped me in my tracks. Summer had sat forward on the chair, and slipped the straps off the sundress pushing it down to her waist. She sat there slowly rubbing in the sunburn cream into her skin. She finished her arms and began working on her chest rubbing slowly giving each nipple a pinch and tug. My jeans felt about ready to explode at the sight of her. I popped my head back around the door and called out asking my question. She replied, mustard. I responded that it was ready then, to give her time to cover up.I walked into the room with the plate in front of me and the bag of chips dangling beneath to try and hide my arousal. I sat quickly as I handed her the plate, hoping I'd covered myself well enough."Ooh thanks!" She said setting the plate down and reaching for half the sandwich. She just stopped and looked at me. "You didn't make one for yourself?" I shook my head. "Here," she handed me the other half, "I hate eating alone."I shrugged and took the other half, and we ate quietly. I asked her how she twisted her ankle. Exploring wet rocks on the outbound tide, she'd slipped and thought she'd broken it. She had gotten an X-ray and it was only a bad sprain."Ironic. I ended up having to postpone starting work at the very hospital that I was going to be starting at next week." She said."Oh? You a doctor?" I asked."RN, and I was serious earlier, you have a gentle touch, and you wrap a mean ankle." She followed with a smile."Sports." I said by way of explanation. She nodded.She opened her mouth laying a chip on her tongue and took it in whole giving it a crunch. I didn't know why, but she fascinated me on an entirely new level. I'd seen naked girls before, well in magazines and movies, anyway. Here sat a woman who, unlike those from around here, wasn't scandalized by having her body admired. This isn't the end of the world, but not far from it."How old are you Pete." She asked. I told her the truth, that I was nineteen, and I'd just graduated last month. She offered me the chips, and I took a few."What are your plans from here?" She asked."I honestly don't know. I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up." I said chuckling.She set the chips aside and wiped her hands on the towel. She took up the bottle of cream and popped the cap up. She nonchalantly pulled up the hem on her dress to a nearly indecent level and leaned forward and began rubbing the cream into her leg. She continued to ask me about the area, what there was to do after school got out. She worked her hand further up her thigh, the warm pink flesh supple under her fingers. She pulled back again, the hem of the dress slid up, and a peek of pink lace appeared. She asked if I had a girlfriend. Which made me pause. She started on the other leg working from the ankle up to the knee. She stopped and looked at me when I didn't reply."No?" She asked, no doubt noticing that I'd been watching every movement she made.I just shook my head looking down at the floor. "No. I've gone out a few times, but never really had a girlfriend."She looked down her leg again, massaging her up her thigh slowly. Watching her was not helping the situation in my jeans one bit."That's too bad. Seems an awful waste of resources if you ask me." She smirked."Huh?" I said looking up at her with a quizzical look.She bit her lower lip and looked me in the eye for a moment, then down at my lap, and nodded.I must have turned deep red, she looked up at me and smiled, then busted out laughing."Oh my God! You're as innocent as the day you were born, aren't you?" She asked grinning ear to ear.I stammered."Oh hell." She waved her hand. "Don't be embarrassed hon. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get you a hard time." She reached over and gave my wrist a quick squeeze. The feel of her warm hand sent a shock up my arm. She leaned back in the chair, not bothering to adjust her dress. The little pink lace peeking out kept drawing my eye. I could feel her eyes studying me as I tried not to look.She started softly. "Am I the first woman you've ever seen naked?" She followed with, "in person?"I cleared my throat. "Well, that close, yea." I said softly. "Last summer, my friend and I found a cove where some girls go to tan in the summer, but we stay well back. They mostly only took their tops off. Jeff had binoculars." I felt my ears turn red.Summer smiled again biting her lip. "So, the peeping tom thing isn't new." She giggled. She was enjoying teasing me. A moment of silence passed while I looked anywhere but at her. "Stand up Pete, and come here." I looked at her and did as she asked. She slowly reached up, and tugged the straps of her dress to the side, and looped her arms up through, pushing it down her torso. Her breasts popped free, the cherry red nipples stiff in the cool breeze coming through the house. She looked up at me from under a lock of hair, still biting her lip. Time seemed to stop, and I wasn't sure what to do next, but instinct pushed me to reach out and cup her breast. It was warm and soft in my hand, and I stroked it gently. I reached up with my thumb and rubbed the nipple. A sigh as she inhaled deeply, her eyes were closed while I explored. I rolled it between my thumb and finger it was as hard as a pencil eraser."That feels nice." She said softly. I stroked the curve up to her chest, and back down between them following it around.Time started again when I jumped back startled. I hadn't expected it when her hand reached up and pressed against the front of my jeans."Oh!" She giggled. "I didn't mean to scare you. I just thought you might enjoy a little rub too." She nodded at my jeans. "Let me see it."I went wide eyed like a deer in caught in headlights."Come on. It's only fair, you saw mine." She urged. Her hand slid down raising the hem of her dress showing off the pink lace panties with black lace trim. She circled the front with her finger, pressing as she did. She reached over and took the last swallow of her tea and caught an ice cube from the glass. Swirling it around her mouth. She opened her mouth showing me that she was rolling the cube around with her tongue.Without conscious thought my hands reached for my zipper to release the pressure built up behind it. I pulled it down as she watched intently. I unbuttoned the fly of my boxers and the pressure was gone as my hard cock pushed its way out seeking relief.Summer made an approving sound deep in her throat at the sight of it. "Ooh that's nice." The ice cube clicked on her teeth and she crushed it quickly, chewing the bits of ice. She looked up at me and made a come hither motion with her free hand, the other still working on the pink lace. I stepped forward as if she were drawing me towards her with an invisible tether. She reached up slowly this time and took me gently into her hand. Stroking the shaft and rubbing the tip with her thumb. I gasped, my breath coming in short panting breaths. "That's it, easy now." She said in a soothing voice, as if calming a frantic animal. "You aren't going to last very long."My body was humming like a taut wire as she gently stroked me. In a move that surprised me, she leaned forward and took me into her mouth. The cold sensation from her chewing the ice nearly pushed me over the top. I gasped. She licked my cock like a kid with an ice cream cone, her icy tongue dragging away at me. I knew I was about to cum, and she did too. She stepped up the pace of her licking, and took me into her mouth once more sliding down further until I lost it. I felt my hips jerk forward and she put her hand on my thigh to keep me from choking her. I grabbed for the first thing at hand, and it happened to be the back of her head, and I erupted. My body stiffened as I gasped for air. I felt as if she was drawing me inside out. I exploded in her mouth, her tongue cleaning up the mess I'd made."Is that the first time a girl has done that to you?" She asked softly, lapping my still hard cock. I nodded between gasping breaths."You poor thing. Have you ever thought of what it would be like to lick a girl down there?" She asked innocently. I looked down to find her fingers had slipped into the panties and were making deep circular motions. I had to think, because if I hadn't before now, I certainly was beginning to. She kept darting her tongue out, giving me soft licks and quick flicks with her tongue and thought I could do that.She stood up awkwardly not putting her weight on her bad ankle, and reached up beneath her sundress tugging at the fabric. Soon her panties were around her knees. She turned and tossed the towel onto the chair and spread it out."Oh screw it." She said pushed down the fabric of her sundress as it slid over her hips. She sat down pushing her dress and panties off and tossed them on the couch. She leaned back on the chair as I watched her chest rise and fall with her slow deep breathing. My eyes followed down her taut stomach, a small silver heart dangled from her belly button on a chain. My eyes scanned further down and found the top of her little narrow strip, the soft tuft of dark blonde hair leading to deep pink lips. I stood there with my mouth hanging open as she set her leg back up on the coffee table, opening up a little more for me. I licked my dry lips, which must have been a sign."That's what I like to see. A willing student." She smiled and winked at me. "Grab a pillow and kneel down. I'll give you a quick lesson on the special anatomy of a girl." She chuckled. I did as she asked and knelt before her. She proceeded to point out the highlights softly, in an encouraging voice. Explaining how best to please a woman down there.I leaned forward, my nose filling with the scent of her. I reached forward licking upward between her spread fingers. She let out a deep sigh and I began licking and nibbling. I tilted my head up and began swirling her clit with my tongue like she'd done to my cock. She threw her head back and her jaw dropped as a low moan escaped her lips.She panted quickly. "Slip your finger inside me, and make a come here motion." She mimed it with one finger.I did as she asked, slipping my middle finger into her as far as I could. It was wet, and warm and I could feel her tighten down on me. I started off slowly stroking in and out of her, then remembered how she'd shown me and I rubbed up and forward and back again. I had forgotten what I was doing and noticed she'd reached down to start stroking her clit with incredible speed. I leaned down putting my tongue to it again, and began flicking it with my tongue as fast as I could. Summer arched up off the chair and began yelling, 'Oh my God.' She stayed that way for nearly a minute before collapsing back into the chair gasping for air. My hand was soaked with her juices. I wasn't sure, but I figured I'd done well. I used the corner of the towel to wipe my hand. I looked at her swollen, wet and deep pink lips and just leaned forward and began lapping up the mess she'd made, slowly with the tip of my tongue. She inhaled sharply and her legs came together quickly."Easy there." She said pushing my head away gently. "It's very sensitive after." She released the grip she had of my hair and ran her fingers through it. She was just looking at me smiling while I licked my lips."So how did I do teach?" I asked.She chuckled. "I'd say you did pretty damn well for a first-timer. I'll give you an A plus for effort and an A for technique." She smiled. I was hard as a rock, and wondered if I was going to be allowed to follow through with the next thing that came to my mind."Are you a typical young guy with a raincoat in your wallet?" She asked, reading my mind. I looked at her with my quizzical look again. She just rolled her eyes and shook her head. I sighed looking down, and shook my head slowly. I got a slightly scolding look in reply. I wasn't sure if it was because I didn't have one, or that she was unhappy about it as well."Get up." She said giving a slight push to my forehead. I leaned back and stood in a single motion. I nearly fell over backwards when I realized I still had both legs caught with my jeans around my knees. Summer leaned forward to grab my arm and help me balance. She nodded down at them and without saying a word let me know that I should get them off. She gripped my hand solidly and pulled herself carefully out of the chair and hobbled a step aside. She reached down taking the rumpled beach towel off the chair and flipped it in half and lay it on the center cushion of the sofa. She turned me back to and gave me a push so I fell back onto it."Don't move." She said leveling a serious gaze at me. She hobbled back off to the bedroom. A little rustling later she came back with something closed in her fist. She pulled the coffee table up close and sat gently on the edge of it facing me."First things first. It's never her responsibility to make sure you're prepared." She said holding up a little foil packet. "If you aren't prepared, then keep it in your pants, or her hand if you're lucky enough." She smiled. "The only time it'll be up to her to help is now. If she'd like to." She reached forward and began slowly stroking me, her fingers firm and soft at the same time. "You see, you can't wrap the rascal unless he's primed and ready." She smiled. "I'll show you how best to use this so you don't end up a daddy too soon, or worse."I smiled and rolled my eyes."Hey, we can stop right now if you like." She said levelly at me. The shock on my face must have been plain as day. "That's what I thought." She smiled and looked down at my hard cock. "I'd hate to stop now myself." She peeled the wrapper down the side pulling out the little ring. She held it close for me to see. "See how it's rolled up? Place it with the rolled side up over the tip like this." She reached holding my cock in one hand and setting the condom on the tip. "Unroll gently down the shaft like this." She said sliding her fingers down my shaft unrolling it fully. "All the way down. That's important since she's not going to want to fish the thing out of her if it comes off in the middle of your good time. It also makes it pretty useless if that happens." She gave the base of my cock a little squeeze. She pulled my knees together, and stood up kneeling on the sofa straddling me."This is a good position for us to start with. It gives a woman the ability to control the depth and speed with which you entering her. Missionary isn't bad, but if you get a little over zealous it can end up hurting her. If you want to her to ever want you back in her again then it's best to make sure she has a good time too." She said reaching down between us she ran her finger up and down her swollen lips."Remember to open her gently beforehand, the more care you take with her, the more likely she'll be calling you for more." She sat up, and lined herself up over my cock and took my shoulders as I took her by the hips. She looked down at me for a moment, one eyebrow going up."Oh." I said reaching between us and stroking her still wet lips placing fingers on either side and gently opening her up. As I did she lowered herself on me. The sigh that escaped my lips was loud. I nearly passed out from the feeling of the warmth and tightness, as she slowly rode the entire way down my length. A soft purr came from her throat.She sat there for a moment and proceeded to just tighten herself around me and relax. I started pushing urgently with my hips."Easy does it." She whispered into my ear then licked her way down nibbling the lobe and kissing my neck. "A woman's nipples are very sensitive, and shouldn't be neglected." She took my hand and ran it up to her small breast. Lifting it away slightly and rubbing her nipple with my fingers. She bit her lower lip as I took the hint and stroked her breasts and rolled the nipples between my fingers. I leaned forward taking it in my mouth rolling it around, lashing it with my tongue. Summer sighed deeply and rolled her hips forward and started rising up and lowering herself on me. My other hand found its way behind her gripping her ass and pulling her down onto me with each stroke. She started a long deep stroking rhythm that I thought was going to drive me over the top again. She must have noticed my urgency as my hips rose to meet her down stroke hard. She stopped on an upstroke and let me slip out of her and I thought I was going to die when my eyes popped open pleading with her. She smiled at me."What's your hurry? Aren't you enjoying yourself?" She said sweetly.I nodded furiously. "Yes I am." I gasped."Good. The journey can be as much fun as the destination, so take your time." She got off the couch. I looked at her pleading with her not to stop now. "Let's see how well you improvise." She said.She turned around and knelt down on the pillow that was on the floor, and leaned forward setting her elbows on the chair she was sitting in before. Her beautiful ass, up in the air her lips open and pouting in invitation. I scrambled off the couch and knelt behind her, nearly ready to drive my cock into her when I paused and opened her up slipping back into herShe whipped her hair over one shoulder and looked at me over the other. "You're in the drivers' seat now. It's going to be up to you to be aware of the clues a girl is giving you. If she's pulling away from you, you're fucking her to hard. If she's pushing against you, well she wants you to put the pedal to the metal, so to speak." I pushed forward feeling myself fall into her and never wanting to leave. I began pushing and she met me stroke for stroke as I sped up. I couldn't take it any longer. Summer let out several long high pitched moans followed by a gasping, 'Harder!' and I went into overdrive. Plunging her depths with abandon I finally drove her forward hard, pushing her hips against the chair as I exploded. I stiffened as I felt every ounce of strength drain from my body. Summer shuddered hard in my hands bringing me out of my daze."Are you okay?" I gasped between breaths.She rose up slightly, hair a complete mess covering her face. She started to laugh, gasping for air. "I was just thinking, this vacation started off lousy, but it's improving nicely."I chuckled. "Welcome to Maine, Vacationland." She busted out laughing at that. I backed away falling free of her, the cool breeze came in from the screen, cooling the sweat on my skin."Let's get cleaned up." She stood shakily, with the help of the arms of the chair. I stood as well. She turned and slipped an arm around my shoulders. "Help me to the bathroom, would you please?" I looked at her, and turned slightly and reached down picking her up off the floor. She let out a whoop of surprise. "I only needed a shoulder to lean on honestly." She said smiling."So lean on it." I said smiling. I negotiated the narrow path to the bathroom and brought her in careful not to bang her against the doorjamb. I set her on a little stool next to a big claw foot bathtub."Let me get that." Summer reached over and popped up a tissue and reached up sliding the condom off of me and wrapping it and tossing it in the trash. She looked up at me, her hair still a mess. I reached down pushing it off her forehead. She smiled. "Grab a washcloth for me, would you please?" She nodded at a small shelf, and I took one down and handed it to her. She reached over to the bath running water onto it and a little squirt of her bath gel. She frothed it up and began washing herself off. She rinsed and repeated. She dried herself with another towel hanging from the bar. She looked up at me from under her bangs, scanning down. "Really?" She said in a resigned voice as she saw that I was once again ready.I shrugged. "The benefit of youth?"She laughed. "I guess!"She rinsed the cloth again and began gently washing me with it. The cool water and warm hands were soothing but not doing a thing for the fact that it was loaded and ready to go yet again."Would you hand me that light blue bottle there." She asked. She poured a small amount into her palm and set the bottle aside. She rubbed the oil between her hands and rubbed it between her legs oiling herself up. The sight of this was not doing me any good either. A crooked smirk spread across her face as she watched me watching her in fascination.She reached up with her oily hand and began stroking my shaft. The hardness slipping through her firm grip with little friction. The other hand began fondling my balls. They were already tight, and ready to go again. She slid her hand further under and began massaging me underneath in a tight circle. The feeling blew my mind as I couldn't contain myself and came hard, with a loud splatter, on Summer's chest."Not sure if it's good for burns, but I've heard it does wonders for the skin." She said, leaning forward cleaning the last few drops off with her tongue. She then used her cloth to wipe up the cum I'd splashed on her chest.. I just watched her, her movements so graceful and efficient.She looked up at me with a smirk. "Pete, how would you like to give me a hand for a couple weeks while this ankle heals?"My eyebrows went up. "How?" I asked."The usual mow the lawn, grocery runs, cleaning, maybe even an occasional turkey sandwich. It'll allow me to keep off this as much as possible and not feel like I'm an invalid. I'll warn you now though it's not only doctors that make lousy patients."It was my turn to smirk. "What's it pay?" I asked wiggling my eyebrows.Her mouth dropped open. "You little shit! I'm not hiring you to be a gigolo!" She laughed. "But there's always the possibility of a bonus. I could continue your lessons. Practice makes perfect they say." She smiled at that."I don't know." I said, my spent cock hanging inches from her lips. Oh I knew alright, but I played along. "I'll have to see what Davy has to offer this year. Those rich folks that come in to fill up can be pretty good tippers too."She raised an eyebrow at me again. "Okay if you'd rather work for him I'll understand." She said in mock resignation. She stood on her good foot, testing the floor with her bad. I instinctively wrapped my arm around her waist."You drive a hard bargain." I said pulling her to my side so she could put her arm over my shoulder.She looked me up and down me and smiled. "This vacation isn't turning out bad at all."To be continued in part 2, by Member389 for LiteroticaSummer In Maine: Part 2Lesson Two, and Two and a half.A 7-part series by Member389. Listen to the Podcast at Explicit Stories.This summer job wasn't turning out the way I'd thought. So far I'd mowed the lawn, done the dishes, (thankfully there's a dishwasher) hauled trash, done laundry, dusted and vacuumed. When Summer asked if I wanted to help her out for a few weeks I sort of expected there would be fringe benefits to go with, or instead of, getting paid. Instead it was actual work. She wasn't shy, about her body or mine, she often would wrap her arm around my waist to help with her balance. She occasionally stroked my ass through my jeans. I didn't hesitate to return the favor but I always ended up with only a smile in return. I figured after that first day when I took the job I might get some more personal time with her. The other night I helped her to run a bath, and she shooed me out of the bathroom. One night we watched a late movie I slept over, and ended up on the couch. Something didn't seem right about all of this. Nearly a week had gone by, and it was as if that first day hadn't even happened, and I was too shy to say anything. I hitched the grocery bag I was carrying a little higher, tonight, I'd say something tonight.I walked up to the kitchen stoop and pulled open the screen door and I heard a gasping cry. I dropped the bags on the table and darted into the living room, she wasn't there. Another cry, and I looked to the right and saw the bedroom door was open. I walked quietly towards the door, and Summer was laying back on the bed naked except for her bandaged ankle. She was sliding a pink vibrator up and down between her thighs. She tilted it slightly and slid it into her, her other hand pulling on her nipple. I was instantly hard watching her pleasure herself. She let go of the nipple and slid her hand down and began flicking her clit, rubbing it fast. She arched her back crying out "Yes!" She pulled the vibrator out slipping her fingers in as she came. She continued rubbing her clit slowly and stroked her fingers in and out for a few before falling flat to the sheets like a deflated balloon. Her breathing was fast and shallow."How long have you been watching?" She asked, not looking up. She looked absolutely radiant, her skin flushed pink through her tan. Her hair was a tangled mess of sun streaked gold, she looked fantastic."Just a couple minutes." I said quietly looking down at the floor. I heard the old brass headboard creak and I peeked up. She had raised her head and was looking at me."What's the matter?" She asked gently. I shrugged and walked out to the kitchen, and started putting away the groceries."I picked up some local shrimp for lunch. I'll put them on ice in the fridge." I said loudly from the kitchen. I turned and Summer was leaning against the doorway to the kitchen watching me with her arms crossed in front of her, buck naked. She gave me a shrewd glance."Please tell me what's bothering you."I looked at her for a moment, then turned away and put a couple other items in the fridge."Nothing." I said, unconvincingly."It's just..." I started. I looked over at her and said."Never mind." I walked out to the yard looking around to see if I should mow the lawn again already or not. I heard the screen door bang shut behind me. I felt her hand on my shoulder as she stepped up beside me."I love it here. The salty sea air, the big sky, everything seems so much simpler." She said softly. I instinctively wrapped my arm around her waist, her skin was warm and damp."Why?" I asked softly."Why what, Pete?" She asked with surprising sincerity. "Why haven't we had sex since Monday? Is that what you want to know? Are you asking me if you were a one afternoon-stand? What Pete? Ask me." She urged.Her words inflamed me and my frustration flared. "Yes!" I turned to face her, her arm sliding down from my shoulder. "Was I just a one shot deal? Screw me, then have me cook and clean for you?" I immediately sensed I'd gone too far and full well expected a slap. I'd deserve it if she did. I opened my eyes wide.She stood there looking at me, her eyes smoldering. She coolly pointed out. "Which one of us is the one standing here naked?" I stood there a moment longer, every muscle in my body taut like a drawn bow. I snapped and took hold of her and kissing her hard as our lips parted, tongues lashing out at each other like sparring fencers. Her arms wrapped around my waist pulling us together."Damn, I thought I you'd never come around." She said between kisses. I leaned back and gave her a queer look."What?" I asked, completely confused. She grinned ear to ear."Lesson number 2, confidence is sexy. Hell it took me walking around naked to get your damned attention. What the hell is wrong with you?" She bopped me on the forehead. I shrugged, feeling completely confused. I had no idea what she was talking about."This exercise, which you nearly failed miserably I might add, was to see if you would take the lead. I personally tend to be a bit passive. Therefore, as the guy, you need to learn to take the lead, just like dancing." She held my hand up and snugged her hand around my back and gave a little sway."The other night when you fell asleep on the couch I laid awake waiting for you for nearly an hour. I finally took matters into my own hands, maybe I should have made more noise.""I knew girls were crazy. I honestly was hoping to get more insight from you, not more confused." I said smiling. "You were waiting for me?""You haven't seen crazy yet, give me a week." She winked.I groaned, then kissed her again, holding her against me, my hands stroking down her back to her ass massaging it as I pulled her to me. Holding her was like holding a flame, seductive, hypnotizing and hot, and I didn't care if I got burned."Tell me you've had the good sense to pick up some protection." Summer mumbled between kisses. Without breaking our kiss I reached back for my wallet and held it up."Please tell me you bought more than one." She growled. I felt her hands come between us resting on the waist of my jeans unbuttoning them and grabbing for the zipper. She pushed my jeans and boxers down far enough for me to escape captivity. She let out an appreciative hum as she ran her hand up and down my hardened length. She broke our kiss long enough to grab the hem of my polo shirt and drag it up pulling it over my head. She leaned down and took one of my nipples into her mouth. I gasped out loud at how the sensation shot through me. It felt as if my cock was getting even harder and I didn't think that was possible."Holy shit! Does it feel this way when I do this to you?" I gasped.She hummed an agreement as she switched to the other side, then stepped back and looked at me smiling.I stood dumb-founded for a moment. I quickly realized she was waiting for me to do something. She placed her hands on her hips and gave them a slight tilt. "I'm all yours, all you need do is tell me how you'd like me, or better yet, show me." She winked. I kicked off my shoes and pushed my pants the rest of the way off and looked at her for a moment. The sun kissed her body so exquisitely, her pink nipples hard and pointing straight at me. Her hair was blowing in the breeze surrounding angelic face like a golden halo. I stepped forward, wrapped her up in my arms again and kissed her deeply. I ran my hand up between us taking her breast in my hand cupping it twirling the nipple in my fingers. I work my mouth down her jaw, kissing her neck and I feel her shudder and gasp. I moved down the center of her chest trailing kisses to the other nipple and teased it with my tongue before taking into my mouth suckling it gently. A moan escaped her lips. Her hand was pulling me towards her, fingers running through my hair. I wanted her so badly but I didn't want this to end. I pulled away looking up at her face, her mouth hung open her eyes half closed."Your ankle has to be killing you right now." I said, noting she'd been standing for a while now. I walked over and brought one of the Adirondack chairs over and set it behind her and she smiled. I laid my clothes on it to keep her from burning her ass on the sun heated wood. She just looked at me without sitting. "Sit down." I told her, and she tilted her head in assent and sat. I knelt down in front of her and kissed her nipple again and began trailing kisses down her stomach. She took the cue and leaned back on the chair. I flicked her little belly button ring aside and licked her belly button. She let out a whoop and jumped, chuckling."Ticklish?" I chuckled. She grasped a handful of my hair and gave me a little push further down, but I was going at my own pace and I made my way down nuzzling her little blond stripe. I kissed my way around her pouting lips, my tongue darting out giving little licks. She tasted sweet, the scent of her was driving me mad, I couldn't take it any longer and slipped my tongue into her as I massaged her clit.She arched her back and moaned. "Yes!" I lapped up to her clit taking it in my lips and giving it due attention. Her cries got louder and I stepped up the assault on her. Her leg came up over my shoulder and she pulled me hard into her with her heel. I let up a bit, I didn't want this to end too soon, it seemed that I wasn't the only one enjoying it. I slipped my middle finger into her, and felt her grip it tightly. Her hips started rocking forward. I was pretty sure I could finish her off quickly if I had a mind to, but I didn't. I continued bathing her clit, varying the pressure on it. She let out a few short gasps. "Please?!" She begged. I knew then I had to finish her and slipped another finger in to join the first and intensified my tongue lashing. Her hips lifted off the chair as she climaxed. She held on to me, still moaning, finally collapsing back into the chair panting."You sir, are a natural." She gasped. I returned her smile and licked my fingers."Am I mistaken, or is there a very hard cock in my immediate future?" I grinned even wider and nodded. "How would you like me?""Over hard." I said smiling. Her eyes lit up like a fire had been kindled."Well then, dig that little party hat out and show me how easy it is to put on."I chuckled and dove for my wallet lying on the grass a few feet away. I dug out the foil wrapper and crawled back. I tore open the packet holding the ring carefully and reaching down, putting in place and unrolled it carefully."Very good." She said her eyes flashing. She stood up and knelt down on the grass facing the chair. "Over like this? I'm sure you'll supply the 'hard' part." She added with a wink."Yes." I said, my breath shallow. I had to have her and scooted up behind her and lined up pushing the head in. I took her hips and pushed forward in a single motion burying myself in her.We both gasped loudly. In moments she started moving her hips back and forth and I pulled out and began taking slow strokes at first, but I knew I wasn't going to last. She leaned back pushing hard against me and I responded in kind driving forward, the sound of our bodies coming together pushed me into a frenzy. Her gasps were coming in short cries of, "Yes!" She began shaking in my hands, her moans coming from deep in her throat as she arched back into me and climaxed again pushing me over the edge. I drove her forward nearly knocking her and the chair over as I stiffened arching my back. I froze in place for what seemed an eternity, and not long enough both at the same time as I came deep in her.She leaned back against my chest, the heat of her skin against me was incredible, she reached behind us grasping my ass pulling our hips tight together. "I love how you feel inside me." She whispered. I leaned down and began kissing her shoulder, working my way up to her neck and nibbled on her ear."I love how you feel too." I said, my voice a little weak.She breathed a deep contented sigh. "What now?" A small smirk spread across her lips."I don't know about you but I worked up an appetite." I said. "Those shrimp sound good about now.""All this and you cook too. You're not going to be single long." She chuckled and reached up behind her and stroked my cheek. "I think we may need to move for that though." She said lightly, reminding me that I still had her pinned against the chair. I leaned back, pulling free of her. I stood stepping back, I gathered up my clothing. Summer put her good foot down and stood, steadying herself on the arms of the chair. "Let's go clean up and have lunch." She smiled slipping an arm around my waist and we went into the house.I started a pan for the shrimp, a little olive oil, some garlic and some red pepper flakes tossed on top of fresh spinach. My killer homemade vinaigrette to top and she would be mine. Well she already seemed to be. I stopped and stared out the little window above the sink out over the water. That thought caught me by surprise. What exactly was going on here? An hour ago I was pissed off for being shunned, now I was making her lunch with a silly, satisfied grin on my face.Summer hobbled into the kitchen wearing a pale blue tank top and panties with little pink hearts on them."Don't you own pants?" I asked smiling."Sure, would you rather I be fully dressed, or comfortable?" She asked."Oh I don't mind your outfit, as long as you don't mind your lunch burnt to a crisp." I laughed."What are you making?" She replied chuckling."I'm going to woo you with my culinary skills. My own special shrimp and spinach salad with homemade vinaigrette." I said."Wow, sounds awesome. You're a man of many talents. I think you're a little late in the wooing department though." She said smiling.My chest tightened at that. Nobody ever thought of me as a man before. Everybody has always treated me as a kid until now. The shock of it must have been evident in my expression."What?" She asked, her eyes widening. I didn't answer her, I just leaned forward and kissed her softly, she responded in turn."Nothing." I said, my grin returning."Need a hand?" I handed her two lemons with directions to squeeze the hell out of them then juice them for me into a bowl. I diced up the shallot, and garlic tossing them into the big bowl, salt and pepper followed. In went a huge dollop of spicy mustard, I looked at how much juice Summer had squeezed out of the lemons and eyeballed it pouring it into the bowl, straining out the seeds. I dug a whisk out of the drawer and started whisking in olive oil."Most vinaigrette recipes ask for vinegar, obviously. I like mine with lemon juice, especially with seafood." I said. I stopped whisking dribbling a little onto my finger to try it. "That's the ticket." I said offering a taste to Summer who agreed with a little sound. I set the big bowl aside and had her start splitting the cherry tomatoes. The shrimp were rinsed and patted dry on a towel, and I threw some garlic into the pan starting it with some of the olive oil. I salted and peppered the shrimp and in they went tossing them around to coat them all with the hot oil. They were ready in a couple minutes and the kitchen smelled terrific. I stacked the plates with spinach and started building the salads with the tomatoes, red onions, shrimp and as a topper sliced almonds."If this tastes like it looks, you're staying on as cook after this heals." She said lifting her foot behind her."Prepare to have your mind blown." I said handing her a plate and a fork. I had brought a small baguette with me which I'd sliced up and we ate."A girl could get used to this." She smiled popping a shrimp into her mouth. Cooking for a girl is a sure way into her panties."I laughed. "Even if she wasn't wearing any?""Well she's wearing some now." Her eyes flashed."But for how long?" I said playing along."You have your driver's license don't you?" She asked, changing the subject."Yea, I just don't have a car of my own yet." I said, wondering why she asked."Do you know of anybody that would loan you one, like your folks?""Yea I'm sure I can get one. Why, do you want to do it in the backseat?" I wiggled my eyebrows at her."Hell yea, but I'd also like to get a ride to go get my Jeep. It's been down at the clinic for a week now. They told me it would be safe but I'm getting a little stir crazy stuck here in the house." She replied.I looked out the window. "I can ride down and bring it back, it's only about four or five miles." I said."Ride?" She asked."I have a bike, I can put it in the back and haul it back if you don't mind.""Not at all." She smiled.I did the dishes and cleaned up after lunch, and Summer kicked back on the sofa folding a load of laundry I'd done earlier. I took a look at the grass, yea the lawn could wait a couple more days. "What else needs to be done?" I asked from the kitchen. I got no answer. I walked into the living room and she was bobbing her head as I walked around the edge of the couch I noticed she'd put in earbuds and was listening to her mp3 player. She was lip syncing some unknown song. She looked up at me and grinned, pulling one of the buds loose."I couldn't live without my music." She threw a towel at me to fold."Listening to anything good?" She mentioned a band I'd never heard of, and moved the folded stuff from beside her and patted the seat beside her. I sat and she handed me the ear bud."Check it out, you might like it." I put it in my ear and listened for a song or two, folding another towel. A hard rock song started and she turned it up a bit and started singing along. She got to the chorus and really joined in full blast. The lyrics were pretty explicit. I was thinking you wouldn't hear music like that on the radio around here. There was a pause, then a soft intro began. The ballad was soft and low, and Summer stopped and closed her eyes, her lips barely moving with the lyrics. When I noticed I stopped and listened intently to the lyrics, it was about intense, heart-felt, you are my world, kind of love. The kind of love that lasts longer than a lifetime. When it ended she reached down and stopped the playback. She looked straight out the window for a moment and turned to me, a shy sweet smile on her lips."Do you believe in love Pete?" She asked me. I stared at her in wide-eyed amazement for a minute, and began slowly nodding."I do now." I said, my voice barely above a whisper. I wanted to kiss her so badly, but something in her eyes made me hesitate. There was sadness there, and they welled up as if she were doing her best to hold back tears. A wash of emotion swept over me like a storm driven wave, and I leaned forward lifted her chin and kissed her softly. Our lips brushed, our tongues sought out one another, delicately probing. Something wet touched my cheek making me break the kiss long before I wanted to. I pulled back and a tear streamed down Summer's cheek. I reached for one of the towels and daubed it. I took a deep breath and was about to ask why she was crying when a curt little head shake waved off the question."Please don't ask, not yet anyway." She said, her voice thick with emotion. "I'm sorry." She said wiping the remaining tear with the heel of her hand."You don't have anything to be sorry about." I replied softly.She inhaled deeply and let it out slowly. She turned to me with a smile on her mouth but sadness in her eyes."I saw there's a free concert in the park tonight. Want to go? A rock blues cover band is playing. Sounds like they might be good."I knew they were good, my friends brother was in the band, and I'd heard them before. I smiled and nodded. "Sounds like fun, and they are good, I've heard them before.""I should ride down and get the Jeep. There's no way you're walking that far." I said sternly."Yes dear." Summer rolled her eyes at me. She giggled, and got up hobbling off to the bedroom and came back with a set of keys handing them to me."It's black, and I'm guessing the only one with West Virginia plates. It's at the walk-in clinic on Route 12."I nodded. "I know exactly where you mean. I'll go get it. You relax, take a nap if you want. I should be back in an hour or so." I smiled. I kissed her again, the underlying want in our embrace was nearly too much. She placed her hand on my chest, with the barest hint of pressure. She was right, if I kept it up we weren't going anywhere. I reluctantly stepped back, picked up the folded towels and put them away. I walked back out and she had laid down on the couch with her foot up on a pillow. I smiled that she'd taken my suggestion."Can I get you anything before I go?" I said softly leaning over the arm of the couch. She just smiled and gave her head a little shake. She reached up pulling me down closer for a quick upside-down kiss. I headed for the kitchen door, pausing as I closed it quietly, looking back into the house. I turned and started walking home.I walked, lost in thought. This week had been a week of firsts for me. I grinned at the thought of the first day when I lost my virginity to an amazing woman. The aggravation of the following days of not knowing exactly what was happening. If I had just opened my eyes I would have noticed she was waiting for me. Then today when she all but pushed me into making love to her again. I wondered why, well why me anyway. I knew so little about her. What was going on here. We'd known each other about a week, what was that question about believing in love. I could easily fall in love with her, I had to admit. Was I doing just that? So many questions came to mind as I walked up my driveway, I grabbed my bike out of the garage and hopped on. I made my way down to the coast road and started pedaling in earnest up the first rise. The traffic drifted past me as I sought answers to my questions. I pedaled harder nearly coasting up the next rise. Why was I over analyzing this? I was living out a fantasy any red-blooded male would die for. A beautiful, sexy woman wanted to have sex with me, repeatedly. Isn't that enough for me? I laughed out loud at that thought because I realized, it isn't.I rolled down the long slope of the hill seeing the clinic up ahead. I pulled into the parking lot and rode around looking for the Jeep and found it near the side of the building. I checked the plate and got off my bike, took out the keys and opened up the driver's side door. The heat billowed out of it from being parked in the sun so long. The smell of a roasted sweet smelling air freshener poured out and nearly gagged me. I walked to the back and looked at how I was going to get my bike in there and noticed there was a folding bike rack on the spare tire mount. I figured it out in a few minutes an

Have you ever been around someone who's like, “Emotional intelligence is being all soft, sweet, and floating around in a cloud of feelings all day…” and you're like, “Aww, that's cute. NO.”Emotional intelligence is not about being calm all the time.It's not about never getting angry, or letting your kids walk all over you.And it's definitely not about sitting in a circle holding hands and talking about your feelings 24/7.It is about knowing yourself, managing your reactions, showing up with empathy, and staying motivated—even when everything's a hot mess.And honestly? There's still so much misconception around EI, especially in the parenting world.“You're raising snowflakes!”, “You must talk about emotions all day!” Umm. Who even has time for that?!So here's the truth: emotional intelligence helps you make smarter, more efficient, more connected, more productive… like, everything you actually want.And it has nothing to do with floating on clouds or never saying no to your kids lol.If you've ever thought, “Am I just too emotional,” or “Everyone says I need to toughen up,” take a seat!!Emotional intelligence isn't weakness—it's power.Enjoy!

3 DJs on a boat, sleeping. One wakes up. Hey—! Isn't that Skrillex? No… —and isn't that Dillon Francis? No. Yes it is! It's not.. DJ Dillon Francis. Yah! See! Woah! I told you! What happened to ‘em? Just sleeping. Go away. But that's, Skrillex and Dillon Francis; and— No, these are my dads. What? [later] Wake up? NO. DONT KILL ME. I hate the ocean. Shut up. U! You know u?! What is he doing here?! Shut the fuck up/ Don't kill me again. You're already dead, bitch. Don't call me a bitch. What, you're not even going to give us silverware? What is this? This is a...fruit salad. Aww what? You got fruit salad? Mines like, actual salad. Nuh uh— No, way trade me—! No trades. Why is he here? Stop asking questions. What's a “question?” I am a question. Dang dude. I don't know what this meeting's about, but it looks serious. Dillon Francis looks rough. Roughhhhhhh. What, are you gonna put all this food here and then just— —she's going to starve us to death! Chak Chel: Why would I do that AGAIN? WH—CHAK CHEL, HOW DO YOU DO THAT?! I AM. Oh, Infinitely—you little Skrilly mothetfucker you just— You just sit. I...Am sitting. Silently. They all sit in silence for a moment. Dillon Francis is confused by this strange tension. He did the same thing too, ya know— sonny darts eyes at Dillon, still in ‘silence' You—did—you motherfucker! I—what? AHA. So you are telepathic, I KNEW IT. ...Knew what? What the fuck. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2018-2025 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.™

3 DJs on a boat, sleeping. One wakes up. Hey—! Isn't that Skrillex? No… —and isn't that Dillon Francis? No. Yes it is! It's not.. DJ Dillon Francis. Yah! See! Woah! I told you! What happened to ‘em? Just sleeping. Go away. But that's, Skrillex and Dillon Francis; and— No, these are my dads. What? [later] Wake up? NO. DONT KILL ME. I hate the ocean. Shut up. U! You know u?! What is he doing here?! Shut the fuck up/ Don't kill me again. You're already dead, bitch. Don't call me a bitch. What, you're not even going to give us silverware? What is this? This is a...fruit salad. Aww what? You got fruit salad? Mines like, actual salad. Nuh uh— No, way trade me—! No trades. Why is he here? Stop asking questions. What's a “question?” I am a question. Dang dude. I don't know what this meeting's about, but it looks serious. Dillon Francis looks rough. Roughhhhhhh. What, are you gonna put all this food here and then just— —she's going to starve us to death! Chak Chel: Why would I do that AGAIN? WH—CHAK CHEL, HOW DO YOU DO THAT?! I AM. Oh, Infinitely—you little Skrilly mothetfucker you just— You just sit. I...Am sitting. Silently. They all sit in silence for a moment. Dillon Francis is confused by this strange tension. He did the same thing too, ya know— sonny darts eyes at Dillon, still in ‘silence' You—did—you motherfucker! I—what? AHA. So you are telepathic, I KNEW IT. ...Knew what? What the fuck. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2018-2025 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.™

3 DJs on a boat, sleeping. One wakes up. Hey—! Isn't that Skrillex? No… —and isn't that Dillon Francis? No. Yes it is! It's not.. DJ Dillon Francis. Yah! See! Woah! I told you! What happened to ‘em? Just sleeping. Go away. But that's, Skrillex and Dillon Francis; and— No, these are my dads. What? [later] Wake up? NO. DONT KILL ME. I hate the ocean. Shut up. U! You know u?! What is he doing here?! Shut the fuck up/ Don't kill me again. You're already dead, bitch. Don't call me a bitch. What, you're not even going to give us silverware? What is this? This is a...fruit salad. Aww what? You got fruit salad? Mines like, actual salad. Nuh uh— No, way trade me—! No trades. Why is he here? Stop asking questions. What's a “question?” I am a question. Dang dude. I don't know what this meeting's about, but it looks serious. Dillon Francis looks rough. Roughhhhhhh. What, are you gonna put all this food here and then just— —she's going to starve us to death! Chak Chel: Why would I do that AGAIN? WH—CHAK CHEL, HOW DO YOU DO THAT?! I AM. Oh, Infinitely—you little Skrilly mothetfucker you just— You just sit. I...Am sitting. Silently. They all sit in silence for a moment. Dillon Francis is confused by this strange tension. He did the same thing too, ya know— sonny darts eyes at Dillon, still in ‘silence' You—did—you motherfucker! I—what? AHA. So you are telepathic, I KNEW IT. ...Knew what? What the fuck. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2018-2025 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.™

Chapter 18: Stephanie says good byeBy LiminallySpaced. Listen to the Podcast at Explicit Novels.Hot, wet lips raced up and down the length of my cock. Hands stroked me rhythmically and squeezed my churning balls."Yeah, baby, fuck, yes," I chanted, the hot boil of explosive love building inside me.Wet, wanton slurps came in time as her lips slipped off my cock on each stroke. Her eyes never left mine. "Um Hmm, umm hmm" she moaned into my rod, her head bobbing deliciously and with purpose, summoning the pleasure out of my body."Fuck, I'm gonna cum, baby, I'm gonna cum!" I bellowed, my body beginning to buzz.Pulling her lips off me she never broke eye contact, and never stopped stroking. Licking her lips, with a smile she moaned out "Do it, baby, cum for me ;  I want it all over me!"Eight hours earlier I was having lunch with Tara, my cock securely in my pants, when my stomach dropped like a rock."Am I what?" I croaked out.I had come to this get-together specifically because I needed someone to talk to about the text message I received last night, and my response to it, but Tara had prepared other things on the menu, things I was not expecting."Are you having an affair with Kerri?" She said bluntly. There was no judgment in her eyes that I could see, but I think she was waiting for my reply, ready to size me up. I was bad at lying in general, and terrible at lying to Tara, but I wasn't sure I was ready to spill the details on something even I wasn't totally sure of."What would make you even ask that?" I said, trying to match her cool."I thought it was weird that you were just hanging around her house after everyone left," she began, an interrogative glint in her eye, "so after we talked I hung around too, and I watched you sneak around the back and go in through the back door.""I'm not having an affair with Kerri," I said truthfully, but also feeling my skin get hot as she had me dead to rights."Then what? Were you robbing her? I didn't see Mike leave, did you have a three way with them or something?" Tara's smooth, pale leg bounced and crossed over her knee as she chipped away at me."Ok, ok, enough," I sighed in defeat. It was no use, she was going to get it out of me eventually. I looked at Tara. She had an eyebrow cocked that combined with her bouncing leg I couldn't tell if it was impatience, or excitement. Either way I had to fess up. I took a deep breath. "I was helping Kerri with a, problem.""A problem?" Tara repeated, intrigued by my vagueness."Yes," I continued. "So the night of the graduation party, after I saw, you know, "The corner of her lip crested up briefly into a smile as she remembered how I secretly watched her and my next door neighbor Sarah have hot sex mere feet from my face.“ well when I got back to my car, I caught Mike and Kerri fucking in my back seat." I said quietly."Ooh, good for them," Tara said with a smile, leaning in to hear more."Yeah, well, Kerri caught me peeping, and at the party last night she pulled me aside to tell me that it really turned her on.""So what's the problem?" Tara said, not seeing the full picture."Well apparently Mike hasn't been getting the job done; he cums too fast. So since me watching them turned her on so much,” I paused not for effect, but a little hesitant to tell this to anyone, even Tara, “ she asked me if I'd secretly watch them have sex so she could finally get to cum."Tara took it all in for a minute."Wow, Tim, that's pretty wild," she said with a chuckle, "I wish you had just told me, I would have loved to have joined you; just like old times!" She winked at me, and my cock twitched as I thought about the voyeuristic experience we shared, watching Sarah get fucked. "So what did you do, just stand there? Or did you, you know,” she said, making a sly jerk off motion with her hand."She told me she'd be insulted if I didn't, so I stood there in the shadows behind a book case and jerked off while I watched them fuck. But I,” I caught myself before I got really into the weeds about my request of Kerri, and the photo she sent me. "Nevermind.""Well, did it work?" She said, all in on this story, "did she cum?""Oh yeah, big time," I said with a slight chuckle. Tara matched it."And, did you?" She said, dipping down into a syrupy sultry tone."No," I said, "they finished before I did, and I felt weird about just standing there jerking off in the shadows, so I bailed.""Aww," Tara said in a disappointed tone. She seemed legitimately sad to hear I didn't cum. "So what's Kerri's body like?""Fantastic. She's got that athletic thickness, and her tits, oh my god.""Really?" Tara said, eyes going wide"Yeah," I continued, "big, juicy, amazing tits." I pictured those amazing tits in my mind's eye, splattered in cum."Are you gonna do it again, or was it a one time thing?""I honestly don't know. I'm not sure I want to do it again." My first lie. I did want to do it again. I wanted to see those tits painted in cum for real."Uh huh,” Tara said skeptically. Like I said, I was terrible at lying to her. "Mike and Kerri,” she said wistfully, “ can't say I wouldn't like to see that."I chuckled nervously, not quite sure how to respond to that statement. Regaining my composure, I tried to start in on what I really wanted to talk about, but I watched Tara's gaze leave my own and follow someone's movement behind me."Speaking of tits," she said in amazement, "that girl who just came in behind us is STACKED."The drop in my stomach returned. The previous two times Tara and I had come here for lunch, my path had crossed with Rachel, the big-titted church girl who I hooked up with after her prom. I turned as slyly as I could to see the object of Tara's ogling eyes, and sure enough, sitting down for lunch with the same male friend as before was Rachel. And boy was Tara right.Beneath the low neckline of her summer sundress her large tits were held up high and proud, a tasteful amount of deep cleavage presented to the world. My cock surged momentarily as I looked at her exposed collar bone and flat of her chest, and remembered that streak of my cum that had clung to it."That's Rachel," I said, turning back toward Tara before being spotted, "the girl I went to prom with.""The church girl who was grossed out by your cum?""Yeah," I said bashfully."I see," she said mischievously, taking a sip of her drink, "so what was it you wanted to talk about, anyway?"I had wanted to talk about the text message I got last night, and what I should do about it, but I was so all over the place at this point between admitting my voyeuristic fling with Kerri, and seeing Rachel again that I just bailed."Eh, nevermind, it's not a big deal," I lied, and brushed it off. Truth was it was a big deal, but one I was going to have to handle myself. Tara sensed I wasn't being entirely truthful, but she didn't press the issue. We just went back to our food and enjoyed our time together.After paying the check, Tara went off to the bathroom, and I looked over at Rachel. Her companion had also gotten up for the moment, and she was alone. I couldn't hide this time, and our eyes met. This was silly. We had shared an awkward sexual moment, sure, but that didn't mean we couldn't ever talk to each other again!Steeling myself for the worst, I walked over to say hi. She met me with a polite smile, but I think she was as nervous about this as I was."Hey!" I opened with, trying to keep it casual, "long time no see!" We both chuckled nervously. "This was the third time I had seen you here, so..I figured it would be impolite to say hi.""Yeah, it's crazy we keep crossing paths like this. How've you been?"I had just begun to continue our small talk when I felt a hand slither across my shoulders, and another across my stomach."Tim, can we go now? You promised me some more after lunch!" Tara said as she wriggled her body close to mine. I tensed up. What was she doing?"I..uh.." I had no idea what to do, so I continued to be polite. "Rachel, this is Tara, Tara, this is Rachel."Tara reached out her hand, and Rachel reluctantly met it to shake."Pleasure to meet you," Tara said, before laying it on extra thick "Oh my god, you've got such amazing breasts!"I went beet red"Um..thanks?" Rachel said, starting to flush herself."I'm so jealous, seriously," Tara continued ridiculously, "but then again I've never had any complaints, and I guess I've still got plenty of canvas for my little artist here, don't I?"Now Tara and I had shared some intense experiences, but there was always still a distance maintained between us. A tension. When Tara pulled herself back into me, all of a sudden that distance was gone, and for the very first time, in service of a crass joke, we kissed. It was a thick, over the top, sloppy kiss at first, but then there was an electricity that passed between us. The world fell away, and there we were, Tim and Tara, tasting each others' lips for the first time.It was a good kiss.When the kiss finally broke, it took a moment for each of us to come back to earth, and then breathlessly, Tara launched back into her schtick."It was lovely to meet you, Rachel," she said, looking back at Rachel, whose chest and neck had flushed fully red at our display, "But we have to go - he promised he'd paint me again after lunch." Tara's hand snaked down to the front of my pants. "I just love it when he paints me," she said with a wink as she squeezed my cock. My hard cock. Feeling the bar in my pants, she broke character for a minute, shooting me a surprised look.Like I said, it was a good kiss.I gave an embarrassed wave to Rachel, and headed off, the level of mortification I felt matched only by the amount of arousal."You are fucking insane," I said to Tara as we left the cafe."I know, but she deserved it," Tara said with a smile. "Hey what are you up to tonight?" She said after an awkward moment of silence."I've got plans, unfortunately" I said back. It was true. I was meeting the sender of that text message, but suddenly, suddenly I felt the urge to cancel. "Why, you have some, painting, that needs to be done?" I said with a wink.Tara chuckled, a broad smile spreading across her lips. I saw the faintest flush of red surge into her cheeks."Just call me soon then, ok?" She said, punching me in the arm. She pulled me in for a hug, holding me tight. I felt her breasts push against my chest. Her nipples were hard.She waved at me, and sauntered off.Back home I headed to my computer. A surge of excitement pulsed through me as I thought about the email I had received last night from Kerri, and more so the email I had sent in return. I had pushed the envelope, and I had no idea how it would be received, so when I saw I had an email from her waiting, my stomach dropped. Would it be the next ante up in this game we were playing? Or would it be a scathing indictment of my perviness, with a firm "fuck off" as a sign off?Before I could click to find out, my attention was grabbed by another alert; a new instant message. From Rachel.The excitement returned, and I opened it."I didn't know you were an artist!" it read. I smiled."Haha I dabble." I returned."I bet!"I sent back a winking emoji, and decided to leave it at that. Feeling a renewed sense of power, and a familiar tingle in my balls, I opened Kerri's email. I smiled at what I read."The face, huh? HUmm I don't know if we're ready for that," I read, my excitement beginning to wane, until I read the second line. "But that doesn't mean we can't work up to it ;)"There was an image attached. My balls began to tingle. I opened it.It was another selfie, but cropped much closer than the one before. A hint of a red blouse framed what little of her shoulders could be seen, as the majority of the frame was taken up by a direct shot into Kerri's open mouth. Inside her mouth, draped across her tongue and displayed for the lens of her camera, and for my enjoyment, was a thick pool of white.My cock grew rock hard.Kerri was clearly ready to continue playing this game, and as I stared into the cum-filled mouth of my friend's girlfriend, my mind raced, picturing her on her knees with his cock in her mouth, feeling it pulse and twitch as his balls emptied into her mouth, and then slipping away to document it just for me.I reached for my zipper.KnoCK KnoCK KnoCK - a sudden loud rapping at my door broke my trance and I frantically covered up the window with the explicit image."Hello?" I said not realizing anyone else was in the house.&

Aww dangus, both Tom and Magill are sick! But that's okay, they can still talk about RPGs. Magill showcases three crowdfunded mini-RPGs from Zinequest 2025, Tom describes an adventure from Boots on the Ground wherein Taskforce Gyrfalcon tails a target, and then in Wicked Ones the monsters of Mount Biscuit try to trap some birds for their new roost but only succeed in pissing off the Necromancers.Find us on Facebook!All music composed by Vince Nitro.

Reposted from Cobra Kai ‘Cast, which you can find at: https://podcastica.com/podcast/cobra-kai-cast—Aww, what a beautiful episode, huh? All the friends shoring each other up and supporting each other, and Johnny proposing to Carmen so beautifully, and then welcoming their new little baby into the world. Yeah, we cried :) Next up: Cobra Kai S6E13 “Skeletons” :o Let us know your thoughts!You can email or send a voice message to waxonwaxoff@podcastica.com. Or check out our Facebook group, where we put up comment posts for each episode, at facebook.com/groups/podcastica.Check out all our other shows at podcastica.com. Show support and get ad-free episodes and a bunch of other cool stuff: patreon.com/jasoncabassi Or go to buymeacoffee.com/cabassi for a one-time donation.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This week, Gavin tries to prove how not old he is by sledding down a mountain, David is the only one in the world who thinks it's weird 2 parents don't do drop off and pick up, we introduce a new segment, "A Moment of Aww," we rank the top 3 hottest cartoon characters, and this week we are joined by attorney and fellow Dad Mark Hsu, author of the book "Please Open in the Event of My Death - A Father's Advice to His Daughters In Case Something Horrible Happens (Which Hopefully It Won't But Just in Case...)." By the title alone, we know he's a Gaytriarch.Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast

Aww yeah, Horndogs, it's that time again! The fellas have returned once more to bring you topics such as: an in-depth analysis of the Ginuwine hit "Pony" The Glade Plug-In Task Force Nissan Altima Prime Also, Campbell goes hard into Guard, and regrettably, blue season is over. What does any of it mean?! You'll just have to listen to find out! Or don't! https://www.patreon.com/40kBadcast https://40kbadcast.bigcartel.com/ contact@40kbadcast.com

Hello Friends! We are back! In this episode of Superlatively Yes, Jen and I reconnect to discuss the importance of self-acceptance, the power of friendship, and navigating life's challenges. We explore the shift away from traditional New Year's resolutions towards a more compassionate and understanding approach to personal growth. We truly laugh and enjoy our heartfelt conversation, interruptions and all! We talk about the significance of embracing one's current season in life and the necessity of support in achieving personal goals. Also, Jen and I explore the themes of survival mode, self-care, and emotional wellness. We also discuss the challenges of navigating personal and professional changes, the importance of self-compassion, and strategies for managing stress and burnout. There is such a huge need for understanding one's emotional state and the significance of spiritual wellness in maintaining balance and perspective in life. We are so glad to be here with you on this amazing platform and in this precious community. Tanya   Superlatively Yes website Superlatively Yes on Patreon Superlatively Yes Instagram Page Superlatively Yes Facebook Page Jasa's Instagram Jasa's Facebook Tanya's Instagram Tanya's Facebook   Chapters 00:00 Welcome Back and New Beginnings 02:05 The Power of Friendship and Support 06:03 Embracing Self-Acceptance 10:07 Navigating Life's Challenges 14:06 Mindset Shifts for Growth 17:50 The Importance of Self-Compassion 23:37 Navigating Change and Respect in Education 26:14 Understanding Survival Mode 31:22 Strategies for Self-Care and Compassion 35:46 The Importance of Spiritual Wellness 39:59 Embracing Change and Moving Forward     TRANSCRIPT: Hello listeners. Welcome to Superlatively Yes's seventh season. We are back in this first episode of 2025 and we are so excited to connect with you all and bring some fun, fresh new content. Today I am here with my good friend and yours, Jennifer McCrodden. You know Jen, she's been around since season one. She's an OG. Jasa, our hilarious world traveling friend will be in and out this season. Before you get concerned, everyone and everything is fine. We're fine. We're just like in a super busy season. And this makes a lot of sense to us right now. We're so excited. We're committed to all of you in the SY community, committed to this platform. And we love this opportunity. Okay. Since we last had Jen on the Superlatively Yes podcast, she has become a drum roll please certified life coach. And do you know who has benefited the most from this so far? Me. I love to unwrap topics and conversations with Jen because she has such a wise and unique perspective. I learned something new from her guys every time we have a coaching session or a long lunch at Tacos for Life. Welcome back to the Superlatively, I'm sorry, the Superlatively Yes podcast, Jen. Jen (01:25.08) Thank you, Tanya. And that is so kind of you to say. I have greatly benefited from life coaching as well, and always from having tacos with you and hanging out. So it's a mutual benefit for sure. Tanya N Smith (01:35.535) Tanya N Smith (01:39.867) It really is. Yeah. Okay. So, let's just get right into it. Listen, everybody listen. Jen wrote me this letter and one of our back and forth moments of talking through topics and it absolutely made my day. It made me laugh out loud and that is kind of hard to do. So I want you to hear it. I want you to hear in her sweet voice and then we're going to talk about it right after. Jen (01:44.311) Yes. Jen (02:05.356) All right, a letter to my dear friend Tanya. Dear Tanya, all right, before we begin, a disclaimer. Do you remember when your grandparents used this phrase? If I had a quarter, I think my grandparents said if I had a dime, for every time you, fill in the blank, I'd retire and move away and be rich. Well, sadly, my friend, due to inflation, we are retiring coin money. Tanya N Smith (02:25.235) Mm-hmm. for sure. Jen (02:34.626) And we are only allowed to deal in tens and twenties because I mean, it's spendy out there folks. It's spending. So Tanya, if we had a $10 for every time either one of us has used one of these phrases, we would be podcasting from an island somewhere. And here are the phrases most often used by us. And this is why I can't be in charge. All the time. Here's another one that we use all the time. Tanya N Smith (02:47.667) Mm. Tanya N Smith (02:59.292) every day. Jen (03:03.608) From now on, you are the one making all my decisions. I'm done. I'm done. Why didn't you step in and intervene? Tanya N Smith (03:07.813) every other day. Jen (03:17.476) of For the Love of Nancy Reagan. You let me. Tanya N Smith (03:19.933) For the love. Yes, why did you let me do that? my word. Jen (03:25.42) Yes, and I don't know why Nancy Reagan, that's just who we use. And then here's one of my all-time favorites that we have said multiple times. What would Dolly do? I mean, what would Dolly do? Tanya N Smith (03:36.051) preach that one what would Dolly do? Listen, we know she would put on her heels and put on her makeup and she would look fantastic doing it. Jen (03:43.894) and she would do it, and she would do it well. So listen. Tanya N Smith (03:46.545) I love these. love these. I'm sorry. You have more. Go on, go on. Jen (03:49.484) No, no, listen, I'm not too proud to say it and I know you're not too proud to say it either. We need help, all of the help, in all of the ways, at all of the times. And both of us helping each other and supporting each other, it's been a pillar of our friendship for the past 25 years. The fact that we have either been on the front row of each other's lives or possibly co-piloted one another into some kind of shenanigans. Tanya N Smith (04:06.087) Yeah. Yeah. Jen (04:18.068) situation and the goings-on and the doings, it means that we have historical records. These are receipts, if you will, of all of the things. And so this letter is simply to remind you that there are no takesy-backsies. We've come too far. We're just going to keep moving on. And as such, I was going to make you a promise that I was going to be more chill in 2025. But even as I'm writing this, you and I both know Tanya N Smith (04:23.911) Mm-hmm. Tanya N Smith (04:47.059) You Jen (04:47.296) And I can, I know you're laughing because that's just simply not going to happen. But here's what I'm going to attempt. And by attempt, that means of course you're signed up to support in all the ways I'm going to attempt self acceptance. No wait before you I roll self acceptance does not include the following. We will not be accepting fine lines and wrinkles. Tanya N Smith (05:15.027) Mm-mm. Jen (05:16.856) gray hair, or ugly shoes. Tanya N Smith (05:17.811) No, no, no, ugly shoes and no, absolutely not. Jen (05:22.67) There may be more that we add to this list later, but those are the top three that we will not be accepting in 2025. Tanya N Smith (05:28.453) No fine lines and wrinkles, no gray hair for us. For us, other people it's okay, but for us, we can't do it. Yeah. Right. Jen (05:34.21) You know, some people look amazing in gray hair and I celebrate it, but I'm probably not one of those people. So perhaps you were suspecting that I was going to reach out to you in early 2025 and say, this is the all new improved gin, new year, new me. But alas, no, but also yes, because I think that even though self-acceptance might seem small, It's going to be something that's big. And so part of self-acceptance might be me being OK with being an ambivert, which I can hardly even say. Tanya N Smith (06:05.777) Yeah. Tanya N Smith (06:12.787) Did you say ambivert? Did you say the word ambivert in the first five minutes of our podcast? Jen (06:19.63) Yes, yes I did. Mic drop. I need to be okay with not writing a novel, but enjoy writing all the same. Okay, we're gonna accept that my pie crust will always be classified as rustic. Okay, it's just going to be, that's how it's going to go. I will always be reading at least two books. I... Tanya N Smith (06:30.675) Hmm. Tanya N Smith (06:38.163) Hmm. Jen (06:47.118) Probably have spices in my spice cabinet that are expired. I mean who really needs coriander honestly Tanya N Smith (06:53.331) What is it? No, don't even need to It's okay. I've gone this long. Jen (06:56.162) We can't go down that rabbit hole. Jen (07:00.376) There are pictures of you and me from the 1900s before straightening irons and hair therapy, honestly. And they're going to stay out there. And here's what we need to do. We need to say, she was me. I am her and accept that. So here are marching orders together, dear friend for 2025. God loves us and we love one another. And let's just keep moving on. Tanya N Smith (07:05.871) bless our hearts. Tanya N Smith (07:18.589) Yeah, yeah, Tanya N Smith (07:29.991) I love it. Yay! Do you know how it thrilled me to read this letter? Like it was, okay, first of all, a letter, come on. Who has sent me a letter? I felt like the Blue's Clues guys. Like, yeah, I got a letter. And then I just love everything about it. And here's why it meant so much to me. You and I have been on this roller coaster when it comes to all the things we are supposed to accept or try to forget or. Jen (07:31.107) Love, Jen. Jen (07:36.654) Aww. I know, I was throwing it back old school. Tanya N Smith (07:58.575) work through on our healing journey. I mean, and I'm not downplaying any of that stuff, but isn't it fascinating that we have seen a revolt or maybe a revolution against New Year's resolutions, the New Year, new you mindset. And I wonder, know, friend, like, what does it say about us as a society that we are done? We are done with it always being on a 12 month improvement plan that starts every 12 months. Jen (08:12.792) Right. Jen (08:27.086) Right. Well, first of all, at first I thought it's just me. I'm, I'm revolting. But then I realized, no, I think the whole world is saying, I can't, I can't do it. And I think what it is is, you know, there are probably 915 million books, self-help books out there. There's so many plans. There's so many gurus. There's so many helping us. And again, like you, I'm all in. I want to do my best. want to learn. I want to grow. want to heal. I want to do all the things. But to be able to keep up with all the ounces of water and all of the vitamins and all of the... I can't. And so I need to pick what works for me. I need to accept myself where I am and move forward. But love where I'm at. If I'm always waiting... Tanya N Smith (09:09.094) Right? Jen (09:23.118) For the best me there is, I don't get to enjoy the me that I am now. Tanya N Smith (09:27.195) my gosh, that is so good. And I wish I knew that before I was, I mean, now that I'm 30, I'm beginning to learn a few things. Jen (09:35.67) Right. Same. Same, sister, same. Yeah. Well, a little. Tanya N Smith (09:39.079) Right? LOL. I'm a little older than that. But yeah, yeah. No, I mean, I say all the time I wouldn't go back to being 20 or 30. And that's not because I didn't love that part of my life or I don't appreciate other people being in that part of their life. It's because that's an exhausting thought to like go back and do it over again. It just really has to do with going back and doing it all over again. Jen (09:51.822) Mm. Jen (10:07.598) Maybe we're more tired. But I also think I wouldn't want to go back to those thought patterns. Right? If I went back, I've got to take my older 30 brain back to my 30 year old self, if that makes sense. Right? I need the wisdom that I have now in my 30 plus. Tanya N Smith (10:09.556) yeah. Tanya N Smith (10:17.171) There you go. Tanya N Smith (10:24.531) Right. Tanya N Smith (10:31.699) Because we've learned a thing or two along the way, coping strategies, mechanisms, survival skills in this world. And we just frankly didn't know them earlier. Jen (10:42.732) Yeah, and I kind of like myself now. Tanya N Smith (10:46.737) I like you too. Okay, I am not going to waste anybody's time. I'm to get right to four questions because you are so good at these four, at these suggestions, I should say. You have four suggestions and I call them ways to like navigate forward in life. There's probably a much better title for them. But Jen, what are your four suggestions for someone wanting to navigate forward in their life? Jen (10:47.989) Aw, thanks, Fred. Jen (11:11.169) Yeah, yeah. Jen (11:15.48) Well, just as we were talking about, these are not resolutions. These are not things we're going to go out and do. But I think, first of all, they have to be our mindset. And if there's anything I want to change, it's less doing and more how I'm approaching or my perspective towards the way that my life is right now. So the first one on the list is the best way to change anything is to understand what it is and why. And so. Tanya N Smith (11:43.223) That's good. Jen (11:44.396) you've heard about the five whys. Yes, everyone knows that you ask why five times to kind of get down to the basis level of what you're thinking or what you're feeling or what you're needing. And I think we don't employ that exercise often enough to really ask ourselves what is happening? Why am I feeling this way? what does this all mean for me right now? We just kind of push that aside. We push our feelings aside and we say, well, I read this article. I watched this great TikTok. I've got to move on with what this person is saying because they're an expert, right? And so stopping to examine why it's important to me or why it's not important to me or why I feel this way, I think it's the first real step in evaluating where you are and what you Tanya N Smith (12:25.116) Yes. Jen (12:38.39) are about and what you want to change or not change. Why are you wanting to make those changes? Tanya N Smith (12:41.553) Okay, so good. This is so, so good. I have a story about this that I have, we've talked about that I want to share it with the listeners about understanding why so that you can figure out what. But before we go, I mean, I want to tell the story because I think it will help somebody else because it did me. But I just want to put a pin in that and I want to say it again, that because you said it. Jen (12:55.47) So good. Tanya N Smith (13:08.505) These are your words. The best way to change anything is to understand what it is and why it is. And like you said, there are so many voices in our head that I think we forget to stop and say, what am I feeling? Why am I feeling it? And like, am I dead inside? Like me, like, you know, because sometimes when I am feeling that way, it's because I have absolutely forgotten to check in with myself, but we're going to come to that later. Please tell us number two, the second suggestion. Jen (13:37.038) I love that check in with yourself number two. These are some of the wisest words that I've ever read that were written by you my friend and You wrote them in a book titled reframed in the year 2020 of our of our Lord and Savior when life was super hard and You said embrace the season that you were in and boy did we have to embrace that season hard or that Season, embrace that's hard. But embrace the season that you're in. You know, I was reminded the other day, there's this song by Trace Adkins and it says, you're gonna miss this, right? And he's talking about raising the kids and things are hard and things are difficult and your job and your family and this and that or something else. And you know, you're gonna miss it. There are joys and there are beauty. Tanya N Smith (14:08.947) Right? Yeah. Yeah. Jen (14:35.286) all around us, all the time, even in the difficult times. And we have to stop and check in with ourselves and embrace the season that we're in and learn from it. Really dig in and learn from it to enjoy it before we move. Yeah. Tanya N Smith (14:48.307) Thank you. Tanya N Smith (14:53.031) Wise words. Jen (14:55.672) Kudos to you, friend! Tanya N Smith (14:57.427) Well, what I need to do is go back and read that chapter again called embrace in in our book because In that time period I believe I was doing that. I don't believe I've done it well Every single season since I wrote it or have I even thought about it, but it is my goal and I think it was on my mind and in my heart when I wrote it definitely but Yeah, I mean this too shall pass Jen (15:25.496) Sometimes we just need the reminder. Tanya N Smith (15:27.155) is a good and a bad thing, right? Okay. Well, thanks for quoting me. I didn't see that coming. Okay. Jen (15:29.708) Yeah. Yeah. Jen (15:34.414) Well, number three is that mistakes will be made. So plan for your discomfort. know, several years ago, my coach told me you need to pre plan. You need to prepare for prepare for difficult conversations ahead of time. Prepare for what resources are you going to need to get you through this season or this next difficult thing? And, you know, a lot of times we hop up and we put our boots on and we go out there and we try to do life and we, don't even think about really what we need to prepare ourselves for. And it was her wise words. Things are going to come up, prepare yourself ahead of time. Know that when you go to have this conversation, that's going to be difficult and walk into the discomfort knowing it's going to be uncomfortable, but I'm going to do it anyway. and so Tanya N Smith (16:10.193) No, we don't. Jen (16:31.434) in this self-acceptance moment, I'm gonna make mistakes. I'm gonna make mistakes every single day. And I need to plan for that to be painful and to hurt and to be patient with myself and to try again tomorrow. Tanya N Smith (16:48.631) that's so good. I have two things to add barely. Number one is, Jesus make this easy. The number of times a day that I say that to Jesus, Jesus make this easy. I'm about to encounter something that it's either uncomfortable. I'm not prepared for, I didn't expect whatever. And then the second thing is you said mistakes will be made and those aren't always mistakes made by us. Sometimes it's someone else's mistake. Jen (17:13.998) That's right. Tanya N Smith (17:17.127) that lands in our lap and you talk about learning how to be patient, planning for discomfort. Jen (17:25.282) That is so true. Absolutely. A fender bender, a word that someone says to you that just lands wrong or hurts your feeling. Choices are made, you know, loss. All of that comes at you not planned for, not prepared, not picked by you. But your discomfort is going to be off the charts. And we have to be prepared for that. Tanya N Smith (17:25.361) when it's like out of your control. Tanya N Smith (17:43.005) Right. Tanya N Smith (17:46.983) That's so true. Yes. Well, in the way that we prepare is by, I mean, what you said planning ahead, it's so brilliant because we have put this into action. You and I in different ways have talked about this throughout the year. Sean and I have talked about this. When something blindsides us, I mean, whether you want to talk about like someone driving badly on the interstate or a family member, whatever is having something or a friend, know, just whatever a coworker, like whatever you're dealing with, you decide ahead of time how you're going to react. Jen (18:20.142) Mm. Tanya N Smith (18:20.379) And you think, you can't do that. You can't decide in every situation how you're going to react, but you can decide to pause. And you can decide to pull back for a second and take a deep breath and not react until you have thought about it. And I just always like to think, what do I look like in the moments that I'm reacting? It can be very humbling. Let me tell you, can be very scary. Jen (18:39.95) Right. Yeah. Jen (18:46.796) I'm glad there's not a camera recording every moment of my life. Yeah. Tanya N Smith (18:49.403) Right, it's not the actual Truman Show. Okay, so good. Let's go on to your fourth suggestion. Jen (18:55.054) So this last one is maybe not a suggestion as much as a reminder that self-acceptance is not a resignation. I'm not giving up. Right. I'm not quitting all the things. What I'm doing is putting acceptance of myself and where I'm at and the season that I'm in ahead of anything that I want to remove. change, negate, leave, whatever the case may be. I'm putting at the top of my list to do is accepting right where I'm at right now. Tanya N Smith (19:36.751) I love that you clarified that because yes, I have sometimes thought self-acceptance means stop trying. And it can, but it doesn't have to if you reframe it in a different way. If you say, accept that I don't know everything I want to know about this topic so I can start from where I am and learn more. It's a more positive approach, right? Jen (20:05.59) Right. And you're giving yourself the grace. science is proven when we give our self-validation and acceptance, we're much more likely to change than if we're setting rules out for ourselves. And I know I've shared this story before, but the times that I said I'm going to get up at 5 a.m. and I'm going to exercise. Tanya N Smith (20:20.827) I don't Jen (20:32.972) And you're going to do it, Jennifer. And there's no excuses, right? And I do that four days in a row. And the fifth day, I'm like, yeah, I'm not getting up early to exercise. Right? And if I accept that, OK, this is not the way that works for Jennifer. Here's what works for Jennifer. Right? Tanya N Smith (20:41.8) Yeah. Tanya N Smith (20:50.349) there you go. Yes, I like that. I love the way you switch that because I can be real easy on myself. You know? Jen (20:58.094) Right, but we can also be very harsh on ourselves too and very critical. Yeah. Tanya N Smith (21:00.915) same time. That's so good. So instead of being like you no good dirty dog, you didn't get up when it was 5am and it was 40 degrees outside and go walking by yourself in the misery of the dawn, you would be like, maybe I should walk this afternoon. Jen (21:15.726) Maybe I should go ride the exercise bike. Maybe I should take the stairs at work several more times. There are options that I can give myself. Tanya N Smith (21:23.485) There you go. Jen (21:28.802) that don't have anything to do with me being critical about something that probably shouldn't have been in my life in the first place, right? A rule that I imposed on myself or a resolution that I imposed on myself that doesn't even really fit and doesn't get me to where I want to be anyway. I think that's key. It just doesn't get me to where I want to be. So why even put it up there? Tanya N Smith (21:42.895) Yeah, a made up rule. Yes. Okay, flashback. That's so good. I just had a flashback, you know, back in another life, I was a teacher and I remember very little about my time as a college student training to be a teacher. But I do remember that I took a summer class to learn how to teach physical education. I had to get up at the crack of dawn, drive 30 minutes and sit in a classroom to learn how to teach physical education. And I thought, this is ridiculous. What have I done with my life? But here's what I remember. One of the many things, mistakes, and they were mine. Okay, I remember two things, lying. I remember two things. The instructor had a different color of nail polish on every single day. It was a summer class. We met five days a week. Every single day, her nail polish matched her outfit. Hello. This was 1995. Jen (22:22.39) Mistakes have been made. Jen (22:43.093) Love. Love. Tanya N Smith (22:45.713) Okay, now something that actually matters. She told us this story that when she was first teaching physical education at her school, that she had a list of rules and she so happily wrote one through 10, do not touch the balls, know, whatever, do not do this. Absolutely no running here. And she had all of these 10 rules and she said they were very clear and easy to understand. And she was so proud of herself. And her principal came in and he looked at the rules for a little bit and he said, so these are the rules for your gym. And she said, yes, they are. And he said, OK, those are good rules. But I'm going to have you take them down. And I want you to rewrite them all without using no and do not. Jen (23:36.302) I had literally just got chills. Tanya N Smith (23:41.459) And this was back before, you know, we assumed people cared about kids. Jen (23:43.296) Right, conscious discipline and all the things. Yes, yes, when we knew nothing. Tanya N Smith (23:48.061) So, yeah, we knew nothing but this principal did. And he or she said, that's not the way to affect change and to gain the respect and to have a nurturing environment. Take them all down. I'm sorry, my septic alarm is going off. you give me just a second to text my husband. Okay, hang on. Jen (24:07.776) Okay, absolutely. Plan for discomfort. Tanya N Smith (24:14.267) Okay, this is a fun game we're playing. Jen (24:21.922) Let's just accept right where you're at and brace this season, Tanya. Tanya N Smith (24:25.137) Thank you, thank you, because it's hot. Can you hear it buzzing? That is alarming because I'm assuming the neighbors can. It is so loud because it's attached to this wall of which I am sitting in the room of. So. Jen (24:28.684) I cannot at all. Jen (24:34.648) Wow, okay. Well, I wanna... Jen (24:40.556) Wow, I want to give a shout out to the mics that are only picking up your voice and not that your home is melting down currently. Tanya N Smith (24:49.139) I just heard Sean open the door to go outside. Okay, so here's what happened today at 6 a.m. I pulled the big dogs inside at 6 45 a.m. A crew showed up to take my roof off and put it back on from the May damage from the May damage. What? How can that be Tanya? It's February 2025. That's what I'm saying. It takes a long time when everyone in Benton County needs a new roof. And then in the process of that, we had to call a plumber who said, Oh, you need a new septic pump. And I was just like, what am I, an ATM? So Sean, we're just, it's hemorrhaging over here is what I'm saying to you. It's hemorrhaging. I can hear Sean out there like pressing buttons right now trying to get everything to be quiet. Jen (25:22.36) No. Jen (25:31.574) horrible I'm so sorry Tanya N Smith (25:39.331) I predict there'll be a plumber here in a few minutes. What do you think? Jen (25:42.476) I think you're going to get a plumber in the middle of the night. Yes. Tanya N Smith (25:46.149) my word. Okay, well we're just gonna keep going. We're gonna push on because it is very important to me to tell the story with you. I feel safe telling these stories with you because you point out to the listeners all of the gaps and you explain me really well. Like a translator, if you will. True story, I woke up at the end of January and I realized something huge about myself. Jen (25:50.914) I love it. Tanya N Smith (26:14.653) that I had been living in survival mode since, for me, I can measure it since the end of May. We had a lot of things happen around here all at once, and I truly thought I was handling them one at a time, doing a great job. Like, knock that one down, give me another. Knock that one down, give me another. And I noticed one day that the systems Jen (26:17.006) Mm-hmm. Tanya N Smith (26:42.877) that I had previously relied on to help order my thoughts and organize my days. Those had not even been thought of since the end of May. Tanya N Smith (26:55.567) And I do not use the term survival mode lightly. I'm not using that lightly in this situation. Let me read to you the definition that I found on the Google machine. And this is from jcmh.org. It stands for some name. Survival mode is essentially booting, as a computer term, in safe mode. Things like trauma, prolonged grief, and even just burnout can cause our brains to opt into booting this way. It basically, our brain is entering survival mode. Do you remember back when we had the big computers where we would turn them on in safe mode? So if there was a virus, the virus would not attack the computer and bring it down? Jen (27:34.978) you Tanya N Smith (27:44.039) That's what it's talking about. And survival mode clicks us into suppressing something within us in our brain. So anyway, what I've learned is any short or long term, very stressful experience can be traumatizing. And we can't measure it against someone else's trauma. So you know the trauma responses. Fight, flight. Jen (27:44.184) Right. Jen (28:10.094) don't know. Tanya N Smith (28:11.549) freeze and then the one that we all now understand that is, yeah, fun. So what I've learned again from this website that these result in your body saying, I will only do essential functions. That is all I'm capable. Jen (28:15.118) Yeah. Jen (28:28.014) Right. It's like COVID when essential workers were the only ones allowed to go and do the work, right? Everyone else had to stay home. Tanya N Smith (28:36.723) 100 % yes. Jen (28:38.198) Yeah, and your body is like, we're only, we're now I'm doing the bare minimum. We're keeping the lights on. That's about it. All extra activities will be paused. Tanya N Smith (28:48.241) Right. Right. Food in mouth, lights on, lights off. Do it over again the next day. Did we survive it? Yes, we did. Okay, we did something right. Keep going. Jen (28:59.918) Yeah. Tanya N Smith (29:02.739) Okay, back to this website. We often have a lack of focus. I'm raising my hand. A feeling of, wait, what just happened? Like the feeling of reading something five times over and you still don't know what you just read, what it's about, or even listening to it. You feel like you're operating on a short fuse or you're just simply exhausted and procrastinating things that you wouldn't usually procrastinate. because your higher functioning brain has shut down in favor of base survival. Jen (29:34.68) Wow, as you're reading that, I'm curious, like, what's your response to that knowing that has been you for months? Tanya N Smith (29:45.869) I was very surprised that I had not checked in with myself sooner. I thought I knew myself better than that. And I thought I was above it. Jen (29:52.686) Mm-hmm. Tanya N Smith (29:57.415) Yeah, I really did. And then people saying, you're doing a great job. You're doing such a great, you know, you're doing such a great job. look at you, you're doing a great job. And I thought, I must be doing a great job. Tanya N Smith (30:10.597) On the outside, I do believe I was. On the inside, I believe I was struggling a Jen (30:15.906) Yeah, yeah. I think we're. Tanya N Smith (30:17.329) You know, and isn't that what we kind of have learned to do in our lives? Keep it inside. You gotta move forward. You got, know. Jen (30:26.84) You're going to get up every day and you're going to keep going. Yeah. Tanya N Smith (30:29.095) Yeah. I'm hearing Joshua like yelling back and forth with Sean in the backyard. And I just don't think it sounds good. I just think something's going. Jen (30:37.07) I love that this whole scenario at your home is basically mirroring what we're saying. We're just accepting it. I don't know, we're just accepting it. It's fine. Tanya N Smith (30:44.147) It is so... Like, we're up to here in sewage. Jen (30:52.75) totally fine. Tanya N Smith (30:52.849) Moving on, doing a podcast like it's not even happening. Jen (30:56.174) That is clearly someone else's gig. I don't even know. Tanya N Smith (31:01.039) okay. So reading this article, this helped me. Okay, first of all, sitting down and Googling survival mode opened my mind to girl, that's you. And I think it's other people. Jen (31:05.954) We have. Jen (31:11.31) Sure. Jen (31:15.286) Okay, well let me go back to what we just said. The best way to make a change in anything is to understand what it is and why it is. Tanya N Smith (31:22.951) That's it. That's it. Because I didn't know how to help myself because I didn't know what I was helping. I just didn't know. Here's what I learned. And you have told me these things. Here it is written out in one sentence. Well, two. There are three ways of responding to manage and prevent survival mode. Self-compassion. who just said that? Self-regulation. who said that? Embrace. Jen (31:24.887) Yeah Tanya N Smith (31:51.545) and self-care. who said that? That was you. Self-compassion, self-regulation. I know what I'm gonna do when it happens to me. I'm gonna pre-plan. Self-care. I'm gonna accept where I am and not be ashamed of it. Gonna move on. Okay, I have to text them because the alarm just went off again. Jen (31:59.854) Mm-hmm. Jen (32:14.252) I love it. We're just going to accept right where we're at. Tanya's self-regulating her emotions right now and caring for the family. Jen (32:28.654) You know, we really wanted to bring a real life scenario to the podcast today. Tanya N Smith (32:34.574) my word. Jen (32:36.876) Yeah. Tanya N Smith (32:38.043) Okay, yeah, I'm trying to, yes, I'm trying to self-regulate right now because I'm like, why? Why? Here's what I think. We must have something really good to say to people because it's very difficult to complete this podcast. Jen (32:43.447) Yeah. Jen (32:48.992) It's very difficult tonight. It's very difficult tonight, for sure. Tanya N Smith (32:53.819) Well, again, that if you want, if you feel like you've been in survival mode, it would not surprise me friends is what I'm saying because it snuck up on me and one day turned into the next, turned into the next. And here's what I ended up saying to Sean. Now let me, I'm not far removed from this, nor have I completely popped out of this mode because it was just days ago I said to Sean, my goodness, I only do two things a day. Jen (33:04.462) Mm-hmm. Tanya N Smith (33:23.215) I am not okay. And he said, Jen (33:25.87) You're just becoming aware of what is happening to you. Yeah. Tanya N Smith (33:32.273) Yeah, just now. So I'm going to work on self-compassion, self-regulation, especially when my septic alarm is screaming in my ear while I'm podcasting. And I think I do a pretty good job of self-care. So I'm going to be like, you know what? Good job. Keep it up. Keep it up. But yeah. Jen (33:51.682) Keep it up. You're doing well. Well, one of my favorite questions to ask you all the time is how are you resourcing yourself? How are you taking care of yourself? And so let's just have a mini coaching session right now. How are you resourcing yourself now that we know where you are and how you are? Tanya N Smith (34:00.025) Okay, I love it when you ask me that question. I love it when you ask me that. Jen (34:15.842) What are the ways that you're going to support yourself? Tanya N Smith (34:20.037) Okay, I am going back to time blocking my days. And this is not because I'm trying to regulate and what am I trying to militarize my life? It's because like I heard someone say recently, if you have a dog, what do you want to do? You want to build the dog offense? Why do you build the dog offense? Cause you want it to run around and enjoy its life. So when I time block my days, it means, Jen (34:34.274) Mm-hmm. Tanya N Smith (34:48.623) On Tuesdays, that day is all about this instead of everyone else's. Or Thursdays, that is self-care day from morning to evening. You get to do that whole day. Jen (34:52.472) Yeah. Jen (34:58.99) Wow, so you're building yourself in some self care by blocking your time. You know that you cannot completely rearrange the schedule, obviously, and there are things that you're not gonna be able to manage time-wise because they're gonna get pushed to you. But you are setting up time to care for yourself and blocking time for the things that matter. Tanya N Smith (35:03.731) Mm-hmm. Tanya N Smith (35:09.523) Mm-mm. Tanya N Smith (35:22.887) That's the only way I know how to do it. I don't know another way. Jen (35:24.928) As your coach, I'm giving you two enthusiastic thumbs up on that. I do, yes. You're putting yourself back on the schedule and you haven't been on the schedule for a minute. Tanya N Smith (35:29.073) All you do? Let me tell you, that makes me so happy. Tanya N Smith (35:36.571) I am. you know, another thing that I appreciate about the awareness of survival mode is spiritual wellness. Jen (35:46.126) Hmm. Tanya N Smith (35:48.027) I heard that in a way that I had not heard it before, I think, you know, that's one of the, one of the reasons why I've enjoyed growing older is because I do hear things the same way, but different, you know what I mean? That's it. But it does suggest like we're burned out and we can't see the bigger picture anymore. And that is one of the reasons why our brain clicks to survival mode because we haven't stopped and like, Jen (36:00.066) Yes, I hear the same things, but they land differently. Yeah. Tanya N Smith (36:17.075) Maybe for me, for me it's journaling and having like, I can see my one year, three year, five year goals or what I want to do this week or today. But I have to see, I have to visually see it. I forget, I forget so fast. But when I stopped seeing that bigger picture burnout, because I'm like, I don't remember why I was doing that small thing in that way. Yeah. So like, Jen (36:40.362) Right. I've forgotten. Right. Tanya N Smith (36:46.771) I work so hard on myself and I work so hard on the job that I'm doing, but the fruits of my labor, they come out as skittles instead of watermelons. And I'm like, now, what am I doing this for? You know? Jen (36:58.39) love that. Say that again. Tanya N Smith (37:05.263) As like, for instance, right now, my house is literally falling down around me, but no, I'm kidding. It's not, it's all okay. It's figure outable. But no, the fruits of my labor sometimes come, they are picked as Skittles and I was expecting watermelons. The watermelon is coming. Like, but I forgot the bigger picture and that's hard for me to deal with. Jen (37:08.054) Okay. Jen (37:13.304) Yeah, it is. Jen (37:22.03) you Yeah. Tanya N Smith (37:28.859) And that makes me feel burned out and that makes me feel hopeless and that makes me forget all of my systems and then just boom, I'm back in survival mode again. Jen (37:37.302) Yeah, you get kind of tied down to where you're at and you can only narrow the focus on one tiny little thing. It's like Mark, my husband Mark all the time says it's the broken nail syndrome where it's like there's 50 death by a million paper cuts. There's 50 million things and then you break a fingernail and then that's just you can't cope, right? That's just the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. Tanya N Smith (37:38.236) So yeah. Tanya N Smith (38:00.945) That is so true. That is so true. I'm sorry, I'm gonna text real quick. Are we addressing the alarm? So, do you like that? Jen (38:08.302) I love how you said that. Are we addressing the alarm? See, I would have texted 911? Tanya N Smith (38:21.331) What is happening in my life right now? Jen (38:21.39) So we are addressing the alarm is what I'm hearing you say. Tanya N Smith (38:25.681) No, they just said we don't hear an alarm. And I'm like, what? can you not hear an alarm? What's happening? happening. Okay so anyway this is funny I'm so glad this is happening why it's happening but anyway you've got to I have to remember how to feel excited about something again because the original excitement like it wanes and I forget what I'm doing anything for so Jen (38:37.368) my goodness. Jen (38:50.734) Yeah. Jen (38:56.046) for sure. Tanya N Smith (38:59.827) Anyway, that's where, that's okay. That was where, that's where I am. Like everything's okay. Nothing terrible has happened in my life. I just got off track and burdened down by a lot of things at once, like everyone does. And I let myself absolutely fall under the weight of that. And so there we go. I'm just saying it could happen to you too. And if it does self-compassion, self-regulation and self-care, just like you told us in those four ways of moving forward. Jen (39:00.067) guess. Tanya N Smith (39:29.997) I'm going to go back up to those because they're so good. You said the best way to change anything is to understand what it is and why it is. And then we talked about go ahead and embrace that season that you are in. Mistakes will be made. We need to plan for the discomfort and be patient. And then fourth and finally, we're not resigning. We're not giving up. We are moving forward while understanding where we're starting from. Jen (39:59.522) Right. And I think that's so key in the story that you just told about yourself. Now that you're understanding where you're starting from or where you're currently at, why it's happening and what it is, you can come in and triage yourself and take care of yourself and resource yourself to the next place. Right. And so you're not, you're not quitting. You're not resigning. You're supporting yourself in a way to make meaningful change without prescribing to yourself a regiment and list of dos and don'ts. Just like in your story with the the gym teacher and the principal. doesn't have to be don't do this. It could simply say be, I see where I'm at. I didn't realize I was here. This isn't exactly where I want to be. This is the perspective I want to have. This is the joy that I want to put back in my life. Tanya N Smith (40:40.509) So true. Jen (40:58.328) Here's what I'm really attempting with these resolutions or these rules or these goals. Here's what I'm really attempting to obtain is that are a better way to obtain that than getting up at 5 a.m. and exercising in the cold and dark. Absolutely there's better ways to do it. There's better ways to take care of yourself than setting up rules. Tanya N Smith (41:21.959) I'm so glad you're here today. Thank you for talking us through this. I cannot imagine a better conversation, a more timely conversation, a more helpful way of learning how to move forward and process through things that we're processing through. We're going to do this again, right? Jen (41:38.35) I would love to do this again. I love the thought of having conversations to support ourselves, to grow, to learn, and to learn to take care of ourselves. Tanya N Smith (41:50.987) me too. Okay, friends, hey, that's all for today. But you can find the video version where you see me have an actual meltdown on Patreon.com/SuperYes. And we're on all the podcast platforms at the superlatively yes podcast. We're going to list all of our Instagram stuff in the show notes. So hey, don't forget to always check the show notes. That's like our diary. You've got to go there and check the show notes. We're putting all the fun stuff there. Jen, my friend, it's always so great to spend time with you and I can't wait to do it again. Jen (42:19.97) You too. Yeah, go check on your alarms. Tanya N Smith (42:23.279) I am. Thank you everyone for listening to the Super Yes Podcast. Have a great rest of your day. Jen (42:29.966)  

Gordon is reunited with an old crush. Based on a post by Blacksheep, in 2 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories.   The monthly Mother's Union meeting was taking place at Gladys Wilcox's bungalow. There was much to discuss, mainly tomorrow's Easter Sunday service. However the main topic of conversation was the vicar's phallus. "He was just standing there, starkers! Swinging, I tell you, swinging. It was like a boa constrictor poking out of a tree. I didn't know where to look!" Mrs. Harris exclaimed. "Wish I could've been there," Mrs. Wilcox replied. "Really, Gladys!" "Well at our age there's not much opportunity for those sorts of thrills is there?" She grinned and glanced at Norman the churchwarden, who said nothing and awkwardly sipped his coffee. Being the only man there, he felt uncomfortable sitting through this, but Mrs. Wilcox had insisted he attend. "How come he was naked?" Another woman asked. "Said he'd been having a shower, but I know a lie when I see one. If you ask me, him and his wife had been; you know;" "Having a quickie?" Mrs. Wilcox replied. Norman almost choked on his coffee, remembering that 21st birthday surprise the vicar had arranged for Jenna in the church, sixteen months ago. "Yes, exactly!" "You know something, Maureen, I was chatting to Maud Finch, on the bus the other day. Now she lives on Haddock Street, in one of those council houses that overlook the railway line. She tells me that groups of drunk young men are forever going up on that opposite embankment and mooning at passing trains." "Has she made a complaint?" "Why on earth would she want to do that?" Mrs. Wilcox spluttered. "I said to her, I'll call round later this week and I'll bring a pair of binoculars!" Over on the other side of town, at 64 Stovepipe Avenue, Gordon Leesmith yawned and sat up in bed. He squinted at the alarm clock. It was ten thirty. "Oh Gord, you lazy bugger," he said to himself, stretching his arms. He hadn't intended on having such a long lie-in. Myah had gone to work hours ago. She'd been working Saturdays the past few weeks, covering for Kate, a work colleague who was recovering from major abdominal surgery. Gordon staggered out of bed and scratched his belly as he peered out of the window. The weather seemed reasonable today. The past week had seen some very unsettled conditions, with sunny spells and frequent heavy showers, so typical of British springtime. "I'd better get a move on. I promised Myah I'd cook tonight and there's not a bite of food in the house." Gordon didn't relish the prospect of going to the supermarket during the Easter weekend. Every shop was crammed. Besides, he wanted to head to the church and spend an hour practicing on the organ ready for tomorrow's special service. He'd have the church all to himself for once. He relished this temporary period of calm. Easter was always busy for the organist. As well as his full-time job repairing organs, he'd had to play the Wednesday Eucharist, the Maundy Thursday service, yesterday's Good Friday evening service and on Sunday, it was the big one. At least he could rest his fingers on Monday's bank holiday. "Can't wait to jet off next month," he muttered, as he hurriedly dressed himself and brewed a cup of tea. He'd booked a week's holiday in Tenerife for himself and Myah. Their first holiday together and they were really looking forward to it. Gordon wasn't one for culture, eco-tourism or trailing round ancient ruins. Sun, sea and all-inclusive hotels were his idea of paradise. Myah had never been to the Canary Islands. He hoped she wouldn't be too bored just lounging on the beach or by the pool all day. He'd booked an adults-only hotel, the four star Golden Vista in Playa de las Americas. It had excellent reviews on TripAdvisor. Meanwhile, at the vicarage; Reverend Morris was in turmoil. "Maureen Harris has got a right mouth on her. Who needs social media when you've got a pensioner who's Britain's answer to Hedda Hopper?" "Simon, you're worrying unnecessarily," Jenna said. "You've not done anything wrong. You were in your own home and you didn't know she was there." "Oh, I don't know. I'm the parish vicar and I just accidentally exposed myself in front of an elderly member of my congregation. Can't say I'm too thrilled about that." "Maureen shouldn't have walked in. She was in the wrong. Said she knocked, but when nobody answered, she should've given up and gone." "And I should've locked the front door! I bet she's told everyone at the Mother's Union that she saw me nude!" Jenna shrugged. "So, she saw your cock. I bet many other ladies wish they could've been so lucky!" Gordon parked up on the Tesco Express car park. As expected, the place was heaving with people rushing to get last-minute groceries. Tubs of cut-price garden fence paint were piled up outside the store. As he was looking at these, he heard someone call his name. "Gordon? Gordon Leesmith. Is it you?" He spun round in surprise. A tall, slim woman, late sixties at a guess, and with silvery hair cut into a sleek bob, was stood next to him. She was dressed in a long, pale grey coat with fur-lined collar. Underneath, a skirt or dress of some sort, black tights and ankle boots. "Uh, hello? Yes, I'm Gordon Leesmith. Who are you?" The woman chuckled. "Oh dear. I really have changed haven't I? You don't remember me, do you?" Gordon blinked as he studied her face carefully, then he let out a gasp. "Harriet; Harriet Fairfax?" "Guilty!" Gordon was too stunned to speak at first, but he quickly composed himself. After so many years, here was the woman he'd lost his virginity to, way back one summer night in 1985, when he was just eighteen. His former piano teacher! "Oh God! I can't believe it! I; I, it's so wonderful to see you again! I always wondered what happened to you, Harriet. The last time we met was in 1988, when I'd just got my ARCO diploma. After that, you; well, vanished." "That's a long story. Come, let's go and have a coffee. We've both got a lot to catch up on. I'm only here until Tuesday, then I'm flying back home." "You live abroad?" "I emigrated to Australia when I got married." "Blimey. I think I need more than a coffee. I know a good place." He took her arm in his and they headed across the road. "You certainly have grown in confidence," Harriet smiled. "I always knew you would." At a small pub in the town center, Gordon sipped an overpriced beer and listened intently as Harriet filled him in on her life story. He felt a lump in his throat as she told him of her marriage to Graham, an Australian musician she'd met shortly after Gordon's fateful night in Blackpool Tower. "I suppose my head was well and truly turned. I was blinded by love. You have to remember back then in the Eighties, a single woman, mid-thirties and childless, well I was seen as being left on the shelf. Graham seemed the perfect man; and as I was never close to my parents, I figured here was my one chance to have a new start. New country, new job. So we settled in Perth. I started work as a music teacher. Loved it. Work was bliss. Unfortunately, marriage to Graham was anything but." "Was he unfaithful?" Gordon asked. "No. I would've preferred it if he was. He was abusive. It's because of him that I have partial hearing in my right ear. The beatings got so bad; he beat me black and blue. Even when I was pregnant." Tears pricked Gordon's eyes. "Bastard. Oh God, Harriet. I'm so sorry. Tell me you managed to leave him?" "Didn't need to. He took it upon himself to commit suicide one evening. I came back from work and found him swinging in the garage. August 11th, 1997. What a day to remember, eh? He'd always been a heavy drinker. I found out he'd run up massive debts, got himself fired." "Dear God. How did you cope?" "Well friends and neighbors rallied round. I'm lucky. I'm one of those people who makes friends easily. I had a good support network. Besides, I had to stay strong, for the sake of my boys, Daniel and Ryan; only got Ryan now." She paused and Gordon wondered whether he should press her further. "Daniel; died. He was twelve. A total sweetheart. You see, he was born with Down's Syndrome. Graham never coped with it. He was the loveliest, most gentle boy. Everyone who met him just adored his sunny nature. He loved animals and music. But Graham ignored him. Ryan came along three years later. He's able-bodied. Actually that's why I'm over here. I've been visiting Ryan. He's thirty now. Works as a concert pianist. I'm so proud of him. He's fiercely independent. Doesn't need me fussing over him, but we're still close. This is the last time I'll be flying here. I can't handle these long haul flights any more, now that I'm almost seventy-four. Never did like flying. He'll be the one flying over to see me next time." "You look amazing," Gordon quickly blurted out, wiping his eyes. "Heh, thanks." "I'm so sorry you've had to endure all that, Harriet," Gordon sniffed, placing his hand on hers. "Thanks for being a good listener. Hey and I'm a survivor. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?" "So; you didn't re-marry?" "Nah. After Graham died, I focused on being a mum. I got used to being single. Although ten years ago, I met Ray. He's widowed like me and a few years older. He's a total gentleman, bless him. I can't say he excites me sexually. I hope this doesn't sound too mean; he's a bit boring, but at my age, I'm past all that. It's just nice to have someone who's dependable and kind." Gordon nodded. Looking at Harriet, he thought she still looked very attractive. She'd aged well, despite the heartache she'd gone through. A surge of excitement rushed through him. "Anyways Gordon, I've prattled on about myself for too long! Tell me what you've been up to all these years!" Without wanting to bore her, Gordon gave a rundown of his life. From his marriage to Marjorie, to her cheating on him and then divorcing him, to becoming organist and choirmaster at St Michael's church, to meeting Myah. He chose to omit any mention of Jenna, the stunning vicar's wife who he'd bedded countless times before Myah arrived on the scene. "She's very attractive," Harriet said as Gordon showed her a photo on his smartphone. "You look so happy together. Do you'll think you'll have children in future?" "It's a possibility, given that she's much younger than me. Marjorie was adamant she never wanted children. I respected that. I confess I've never given much thought to becoming a dad. But if Myah does want to become a mum, then I'll be up for it." "About the age gap. It's a large one. Has that presented any problems?" "It did at first. Her parents were furious. Some hurtful things were said, but her mother and I eventually came to an understanding. Most people at church have been okay but there were a couple of exceptions. It upset me when my cousin Barry called me a "borderline nonce." He was only joking, but it hurt. She'll be twenty in July. Myah was the one who pursued me, not the other way round;" "Perhaps Barry was jealous of you. But yes, that was a crass thing to say. Well Gordon, there's one thing I want to experience before I head back Down Under." His eyes widened. "Really? What's that?" "I want to see and hear you play a pipe organ! You showed such skill and talent way back in 1985;" she winked at him and he felt that surge of excitement again. "Funnily enough, I was planning to have a practice at church today. Tomorrow's a big day, being Easter Sunday. We've got two choirs singing. Care to join me on a trip to St Michael's? It's only a five minute walk from here." The Mother's Union meeting was drawing to a close, but poor Norman could bear it no longer. Mrs. Wilcox was still questioning Mrs. Harris on a certain part of the vicar's anatomy. "Ladies, please excuse me; I really need to; er, relieve myself. Thank you for your company and I'll see you at church tomorrow!" "Oh yes, take care Norman!" they replied, oblivious to his embarrassment. "That's a fine lodger you've got yourself, Gladys. Now I tend to view men as nothing more than useless articles, but he is a true Christian." "Oh he truly is, Maureen. We have such wonderful times together. He was very easy to train!" At St Michael's church, Gordon gave Harriet a quick tour, before leading her to the organ. "This is a beautiful church," she said. "That's one thing I miss about living in Australia. All of the churches there are recent by comparison. There isn't the history. Oh there are some lovely ones, but it's not the same. This one goes back to medieval times. I love old buildings." "Yes, it's a nice church. Good community here too. I get on so well with the vicar. Reverend Morris is a good egg. His sermons are rather tedious, but nobody's perfect, eh?" He sat on the organ stool. "Here she is! What do you think?" "She's a beauty, Gordon. Three manuals, and the pipework is incredible. A large organ for such a small church." "Aye, she's a grand old lass. I gave her a complete overhaul in January. Replaced some of the big flue pipes. Now she sounds better than ever." He switched on the lamp above the manuals. "Very handy having an organist who can fix organs as well as play them. That's a very specialized job, isn't it?" "Pretty much. Right; what would you like me to play?" Harriet removed her thick coat and slid onto the stool next to him. "Hmm. It's an overplayed piece of music, but I've always liked The Entertainer. You played that for me when you used to come for lessons, remember?" "Ah yes. I remember!" As he began to play, Harriet glanced at her former student, no longer a gauche, skinny teenager but a stocky, fifty-six year old man, with silver hair. He had a paunch, but it suited him. He'd grown into his looks and actually looked better now than when he was eighteen. She ran a finger across her chin, and carefully considered her next move. He truly had become a very gifted organist. Gordon was halfway through playing, when a hand on his thigh made him play a wrong note. He stopped and looked down. "Umm;" "No-one must find out about this." Harriet whispered. "Well Myah's at work; and I don't think Ray can see what we're up to from the other side of the world;" Gordon stammered. He couldn't believe history was repeating itself. "An old girl like me can still get all hot and bothered seeing an attractive younger man," she teased. Her thigh was pressing against his and his cock was starting to respond. "Uh; Harriet," Gordon mumbled, and once again he was transported back to 1985, and was that shy, awkward teenager again. "I; just want you to know. You were my first major crush. Well; I'd fancied other girls, but you; well you just; did it for me." "I'm so glad to hear you say that, Gordon. You were the only student I ever felt attracted to. Truth is, at the time, I was feeling rather sorry for myself and unattractive. When I found out you had a crush on me, it was an incredible turn-on. To be desired by a much-younger man. I knew the whole time." "Guess I wasn't that good at being discreet," Gordon replied. "Not at all. You were shy and went bright red every time I spoke to you. Which was very endearing. I just had to make your first time a memorable one. During the pandemic, I did a lot of thinking. I started looking at old photos. I had one of you taken at your graduation. I started wondering what became of you. So I started trawling the Internet. I checked Facebook. There were a lot of Gordon Leesmiths on there, but not the one I was seeking." "I don't use social media," Gordon said. "Never have. Don't like the idea of it. I'm too old for the likes of Thick Tock or whatever it's called. " "That's fair enough. By chance, I came across a post made on the Facebook page of your church. It mentioned an organist called Gordon Leesmith. I clicked the link to the church's website and on the list of clergy and laity, there was a photo of you! I knew at once it was you." "Ah. So you were able to hunt me down with ease?" He smiled. "I'm glad you did; I've never forgotten that night in Blackpool." She leaned in closer and kissed his cheek. "Gordon; how about I give you a present? For old time's sake and all?" Her hand brushed his crotch and she could tell at once that he'd got a hard-on. "My, my. Seems like I haven't lost my touch!" "You're still beautiful, Harriet." He kissed her back. "I'm all yours;" She smiled and unzipped his trousers. As she freed his erection from his y-fronts, Gordon closed his eyes, savoring the sensation of her hot breath on his skin. He felt her lips wrap around him, and a shudder of pleasure ran through him. She began to bob her head, her mouth moving up and down his length in a rhythm that was both masterful and irresistible. Her tongue danced along the underside of his shaft, teasing and taunting him. "Oh God; oh shit, yes," he moaned. He was producing a lot of precum. Gordon considered himself an over-producer of the stuff. It was a bloody nuisance when one's underpants got wet from being horny all the time, as he usually was. The sounds of their breathing filled the empty church, the rustle of Harriet's skirt and the creak of the organ bench provided a steady beat as she continued her ministrations. Her grip on him was firm, but gentle, and she seemed to know just how to stroke him, how to tease him, how to drive him wild with desire. "Ahh," Gordon grunted. His hand caught one of the manuals and a few wrong notes disturbed the quietness. As she bobbed her head, Gordon could feel his control slipping away. He arched his back, letting out a low groan, his fingers digging into the sides of the organ stool. Harriet knew just how to use her tongue, teasing him mercilessly with it, driving him to the edge of release before pulling back and starting again. Her grip on him tightened ever so slightly, and he felt a surge of desire course through him, making his muscles tense and his heart race. With a groan that was equal parts pleasure and desperation, Gordon tensed, his hips bucking forward as he lost control. He felt the first spurt of hot seed erupt from his cock. Harriet didn't pull away, but instead opened her mouth wider, letting his essence flow over her tongue, down her throat. The sensation was almost too much for him to bear, and he let out a hoarse cry as he released himself fully into her mouth. As his orgasm subsided, Harriet slowly pulled back, her lips still wrapped around him, her eyes shining with pride and satisfaction. "That was wonderful, Gordon," she whispered. "Just wonderful." "Just like old times," came his breathless reply. Jenna Receives a Special Easter Egg. "You're quiet, Gordy!" Myah said as noticed him slumped on the settee, idly running his finger down an empty cup. "Oh! Sorry love," he muttered, quickly composing himself. His mind was still reeling from that fateful encounter with Harriet. He took a deep breath. "Hard day at the organ?" Myah giggled, leaning over the settee and kissing his forehead. "Got myself all prepared for tomorrow's service," he said quickly. "Erm, I have a confession to make; I er, was so wrapped up with practicing, I totally forgot to get some food in. But; worry not. Because you and I are dining out tonight! How do you fancy trying out that new Italian place? My treat. A working girl needs pampering." "Aww, yes!" Myah replied. "You're the best, my organ boy! Right, I'd better go and get changed!" She hurried upstairs and Gordon was alone with his thoughts once more. "Glad I got to see her one last time," he said to himself. "Goodbye Harriet." Next morning; The daffodils were in full splendor. A sea of yellow had erupted on the grass verges flanking the road to St. Michael's Church. A bright sunny sky greeted worshippers on this glorious Easter Sunday. Inside the church, it was bustling. Reverend Morris hurried about, making sure everything was just right, a music stand here, some extra hymn books there. "Where's Jenna?" He asked the churchwarden. "Why, in the vestry of course, with the rest of the choir. She's wearing robes this time, Vicar! Plus, Gordon and that Guild Voices chap will want to give a pep talk before they start." "Oh yes of course, silly me. Thanks Norman." "Do try to relax, it'll turn out fine. I have a feeling this Easter service is going to be unforgettable!" "Hope so, Reverend Morris replied, hurrying back down the aisle. "Right time for some more meet and greet;" A wrinkled hand grabbed the sleeve of his cassock as he passed a middle row of pews. "Good morning Vicar. I trust you weren't ignoring me?" "Ah; good morning to you, Mrs. Harris. Er, no I genuinely didn't see you there." "Of course, there are some things that cannot be unseen," the old lady replied, leaving him in no doubt has to what she was referring to. He cringed. "I'm so very sorry about that." "No need to apologize. You're lucky it was me and not Gladys Wilcox who saw you showing off everything the Lord gave you. Her reaction would've been rather different to mine." "Uh; I see," the vicar coughed, feeling his cheeks burning with shame. "Makes you sick doesn't it?" Mrs. Harris continued. "Just the thought of it." "The thought of what?" "Senior citizens lusting after younger men." Reverend Morris was unsure how to respond to that, but luckily Josh the curate intervened. "Would you believe it?" He said. "That flower arch around the door is absolutely infested with greenfly. Most of the flowers are already dead." "What? It only went up last night!" In the vestry, everyone was crammed in like sardines. Gordon had taken charge of the St. Michael's choir, whilst Derek was organizing the Guild Voices. "Oi, Luke, get that surplice on the right way round!" Gordon yelled at a choirboy. "Hannah, put that smartphone away!" He shook his head. "Honestly, it's like herding a bunch of cattle." "A shame about the lack of space," Derek remarked. "I keep forgetting what a small church this is. Morning Jenna!" He winked at the vicar's wife. "Hello Derek." The choirmaster lowered his voice. "Need a quick word with you alone; where can we go that's private?" Jenna glanced round. "Come with me." He discreetly followed her as she slipped out of the vestry and to a tiny storage area by the side of the organ pipes. There was no door, just a curtained archway. The room little more of an alcove, and the two of them could barely fit inside it. "Cozy," Derek smiled. "Got a little Easter present for you, Jenna," he said, rummaging in his jacket pocket. He handed her a small box. "Aww, thank you," she said. "That's really thoughtful." "Go on, you can open it now." "Oh that's cute," she smiled, holding up a little plastic yellow and green Easter egg on a pink silicone cord, and assumed it was a decoration of some kind. "Does it have chocolate inside?" Derek gave a mischievous grin. "Nope. You see; it's meant to go inside you! I was wondering if you could; wear it for me during the service? I'll enjoy an interesting little Easter egg hunt later; if you get what I mean." Jenna smiled back. Derek was more adventurous than she'd first imagined. "Why certainly, Derek. Maybe after the service, He will have Risen; and I'm not talking about Jesus there." She winked and hurried off to the toilets. "Naughty girl," Derek chuckled. "I hope she's in fine voice. Now the fun begins!" Shortly after, Jenna returned and took her place among the other Guild Voices choir members at the front of the church. Gordon began playing the voluntary, whilst the church choir did the usual procession down the main aisle. Reverend Morris stepped up to the pulpit and glanced at his wife. It seemed odd seeing his wife wearing a cassock and surplice, but she wore it well. He puffed out his chest with pride, noticing all the full pews. His church had definitely beaten St. Peter's. "Brothers and sisters, a very warm welcome to you all on this joyful Eastertide! I ask you to take the joy and hope of Easter and let it be your light and your life. Tell people that there's hope. In the driest valley, there is the resurrection. In the darkest night, there is the resurrection. In the worst moments you ever go through there is the resurrection, there is the promise of life, there is Jesus whispering into your ear saying that it's okay because death has lost its sting. There is the resurrection. Death is defeated. He has done it. He is risen. Hallelujah! We're very honored today to be hosting the Guild Voices Choir, led by the talented Mr. Derek Blackledge, who has put together a fantastic medley of holy music, along with our own equally talented organist, Gordon. He is, of course, ably assisted by his partner and organist-in-training Myah, who will be playing a few pieces for us. Now, without further ado, let us stand for our first hymn, Thine Be the Glory!" Just as Jenna was about to take a deep breath and focus on the music, she felt the egg she'd inserted into her womanhood begin to vibrate uncontrollably. Then, she noticed Derek, fiddling with his smart watch. His expression was one of mischief and amusement, and she knew instinctively that he was the one responsible for this unexpected distraction. The strains of the mighty organ filled the church as Gordon began playing the hymn. Jenna gave an awkward jolt, but was determined not to lose control during this situation. Well played, Derek, she thought. Well played. The choirmaster was waving his baton, and concentrating on the choir, but every so often, he made eye contact with Jenna, who was stood on the front row. Her voice was a little shaky, but it wasn't noticeable, thankfully. As the vibrations increased, Jenna struggled to maintain her composure. The sensations were overwhelming, and she could feel herself growing warm all over. She tried to ignore the egg, focusing instead on the beautiful music and the sacredness of the occasion. But try as she might, she couldn't help but be affected by the relentless vibrations. Her breath grew shorter, her cheeks flushed, and her body trembled with each passing moment. "No more we doubt thee, glorious Prince of life; life is naught without thee; aid us in our strife; Make us more than conquerors, through thy deathless love: bring us safe through Jordan to thy home above! Thine be the glory, risen conquering Son, Endless is the vict'ry, thou o'er death hast won." The hymn ended, and quiet descended on the church. Everyone sat down, and that didn't make it any easier for Jenna, as she squirmed awkwardly on the chair. "What's the matter with the vicar's missus, she got fleas or something?" One of the old ladies on the front row of pews whispered. "Well you know what young people are like, Maud. They can't sit still for five minutes can they? Probably suffering from smartphone withdrawal." "Either that or she's bursting for the toilet!" Sitting through the readings was bad enough, but the sermon was to prove far worse. Derek had obviously been planning this ever since their encounter on Wednesday night. The devious choirmaster was loving this! She gritted her teeth as she noticed him fiddle with his watch again. He wasn't finished with her yet. Just as she thought she had regained control, it started to vibrate again, this time more insistently than before. It seemed to have a mind of its own, dancing against her clit with an unyielding determination. Jenna bit back a moan, her cheeks burning red as she fought to maintain her composure. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the next piece of music in the book, trying to ignore the sensations building inside her. "We all make mistakes and mess up. The way you �be� a good Christian is to have faith in that cross and empty grave, in what Jesus did there. Because our faith is the one where God comes to us to give us hope and defeat the powers of sin and death for us, out of love!" After what seemed like an eternity, Reverend Morris finally ended his sermon. It was time for the next hymn, The Old Rugged Cross, but first, there was a piece of music to be performed a cappella by the choir. Gordon left his place at the organ and stood alongside Derek. He adjusted his open-fronted black gown and nodded at the choir. He noticed Jenna and smiled at her. She looked a bit uncomfortable, which he assumed was down to her singing in front of an audience for the first time. As the singing began, Derek subtly pressed his watch again. Jenna's voice went from low to impossibly high. Her eyes closed and as she sang, she felt a newfound strength welling up inside her. It was a strength born of passion and desire, of the need to express herself fully and without restraint. Gordon was amazed at her vocal range, then again, he didn't need to remind himself that the stunning vicar's wife had many talents; some he was no longer privy to, but her cousin had more than made up for. As she belted out the final chorus, her body trembled with the effort. Her breath came in ragged gasps, and her heart pounded wildly in her chest. The egg vibrator continued its relentless dance against her sensitive flesh, sending waves of pleasure coursing through her veins. She could feel herself growing closer and closer to the edge, the release just out of reach. Gordon continued to watch her. Blimey, she's really putting her heart and soul into this performance. He thought. It's almost as if; she's about to have an orgasm! He scolded himself for thinking about sex yet again. Yet he could not shake the image of her desperate to climax. Under those robes, Miss Kitty could be sopping wet. Mmm, a nice thought. He took a deep breath as he felt his cock starting to twitch, and quickly put that out of his mind. The last thing he needed was to develop a hard-on in front of the entire church. The a cappella piece ended, and it was time for Gordon to return to the organ and play the next hymn. As he did, he stole one last glance at the vicar's wife. Maybe it was just nerves. He sat down on the organ stool and began playing The Old Rugged Cross. Jenna glanced around, hoping no one had noticed the effect the egg was having on her. But everyone seemed to be too focused on singing of the hymn, their faces glowing with pride and accomplishment. Jenna bit her lip, as she fought to control the egg's relentless movements. She closed her eyes, trying to focus on something, anything, other than the sensations building inside her. But it was no use. The loud notes of the organ, the church, passages from the Bible; all seemed to feed the fire burning inside her. She was about to come, and there was no stopping it. She closed her eyes, her fists gripping her hymn book tightly as she surrendered. She started moaning gently as the pressure within built up. As the hymn's final verse was sung, Jenna climaxed with an almighty yell and her body shuddered as her orgasm spewed forth her juices and then there was a pop. She gasped as she felt the egg vibrator slip loose and fall to the stone floor. The silicone cord broke free, and the egg rolled away, under her chair. There was no way she could bend down to retrieve it. Her intense behavior had not gone unnoticed by Edna Draper, who was stood next to her. "I take it you like that hymn a lot? You were really giving it your all!" "Yeah," Jenna said, getting her breath back. "I've been practicing so hard!" Meanwhile, the egg was still rolling along the church floor. It came to a stop by the side of the organ stool. "Hello, what do we have here?" Gordon said to himself. When the vicar took to the pulpit again, the organist discreetly bent down and picked up the egg. It was warm, wet and glistening with clear goo. He knew at once what it was. "Now which naughty little Easter Bunny does this egg belong to? I think I can guess." He gave it a sniff, wiped it with a tissue and placed it in his jacket pocket. Looking over to the choir, he noticed Jenna fidgeting on her chair. "I knew it! She was getting herself off when I was conducting the choir!" The Easter Sunday service drew to a close. Reverend Morris ended it with some uplifting words. "Brothers and Sisters! Before we all head off to the church hall for tea, coffee and chocolate eggs, let me ask you one more time. Are you filled with hope today? Then go out and take it with you! This is the best news you'll ever be able to give anyone. That He loves you enough to rise again, to give you hope. And no power on earth can stop us if that is the message we're bringing to people this Easter. Amen!" Based on a post by Blacksheep, for Literotica.

Today's story is all about Valentines day. Aww! Except, the thing is, it's not 'aww-inducing,' it's not mushy and lovey-dovey, because it's all about Alan's Auntie Val, who's completely allergic to romance! For her Valentine's Day is the worst day of the year - she's itchy, and sneezy, and surrounded by all of that disgusting, sickly LOVE! How inconvenient. Let's see how she survives this year...  Upgrade to Koala Kids Plus for full ad-free access to our collection of kids' shows, with bonus adventures and 8-hour episodes ⭐️ Subscribe via Apple Podcasts or visit https://koalashine.supercast.com/ Want to send in a note, joke, memo or monologue? Click here. 

Vicar's wife, Jenna, decides to give up sex for Lent!A series in 17 parts, by Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. The Jenna series started with ‘Jenna Goes To Church', followed shortly after with ‘Jenna, the Vicar's Wife'. It resumed recently with Jenna's New Year'; and now it continues with a Lentil 2-part story. Other episodes will follow.It was the last Sunday of Shrovetide, known as Quinquagesima. At St. Michael's Church, Reverend Morris had amassed a pile of old palm crosses, intending to burn them on Ash Wednesday."Shouldn't be long before the first members of the faithful arrive," he said to his wife Jenna, who was adjusting the flowers at the side of the pulpit."Oh before I forget, I've got something for you to burn on Ash Wednesday," she smiled, handing him a pair of her panties."This is an unusual-looking palm cross!" He replied. "I think I'd better burn this separately from the others! Is there some reason why you want your undies reduced to ash?""Well Simon, I've been thinking. And I've finally decided what I'm going to give up for Lent.""You're giving up wearing underwear?""Ha-ha. Tempting, but no. I'm giving up sex."Reverend Morris almost dropped the box full of crosses. "What? Sex? No, you can't be serious!"Jenna nodded. "I'm 100% serious, my love. Lent is supposed to be hard, and you're always going on about how part of being a good Christian is making sacrifices and so on. It's traditionally a time of fasting and abstaining from something to repent and focus our hearts and minds on the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.""Yes, but within reason, Jen! I don't expect you to suffer hardship as bad as that!""I can do it, Simon. I'm committed to seeing it through. It's only forty days.""B-but, that's six weeks!" the vicar whined, looking as if his entire world was about to end. "I, I'm not sure I can, er, go without for so long!""Now Simon, you're a man of God. You're stronger than most. I know you can do this. And just think how wonderful it will be when Easter comes, everything in calf, bursting out in spring glory, sap rising, mating seasons beginning, shoots thrusting upwards, days getting longer, ""Vicars dying of horniness, " Reverend Morris sighed."Exactly. And it won't just be you going without. The other chaps of this church will have to go without as well!""Oh my goodness, Jenna. There's going to be a lot of frustration building up in this church! When you say no sex, does that mean, ""No physical contact whatsoever, my dearest! No blowjobs, no kissing, no cock in cunt, nada! Just like social distancing."Reverend Morris' lip was trembling. "Not even a kiss?""Nope. I'll be sleeping in the spare bedroom until Easter. I can blow you a kiss. And whilst we can't do anything involving physical contact, there are other naughty ways we can get through Lent.""Like what?""Use your imagination, Simon!"He thought for a moment. "So I'll have to make do with dating Rosie Palms until Easter?""If it helps you cope, yes!"The reverend took a deep breath. "You're absolutely right, Jenna. I can get through this. I admire you so much for deciding to have a sex ban. In fact, I think I love you even more, and I didn't think that possible!""Aww. Ditto." She kissed him. "We'll make the most of Shrove Tuesday," she added, with a wink. "I'm going to do some creative things with pancakes."He slipped his arms around her. "Remember that morning after the Candlemas service, when we got soaking wet in the rain and we just ravished each other once we got back to the vicarage?""Hee hee, yes. Or that time last month during that short holiday in Lincolnshire when we stayed in that weird hotel, and the ghost gatecrashed our passion?""Bit early in the morning for that, isn't it? Then again, I'm not complaining!" A voice shouted, and they both looked round. Gordon the organist had just arrived.Moments later, Josh the curate appeared."Morning guys!" Jenna smiled. She turned back to her husband. "You'd better get your robes on. Looks like some of the congregation are here already. I'll go and hand out some hymn books."He nodded and headed off to the vestry. "Forty days," he sighed. "God, .I will really need your help through this difficult time!"And just how were some of the other male members of St. Michael's Church going to cope for forty days without any 'spiritual guidance' from the vicar's wife?Shrove Tuesday (the eve of Lent)On Shrove Tuesday, Jenna spent all afternoon mixing pancake batter. It would've been quicker to buy some ready-made pancakes from Tesco, but where was the fun in that? She looked at the kitchen wall clock."Come on Simon, you're late. How long does a meeting with the Bishop take?"Her husband had been out all day. At last, she heard his car pull up on the drive."Good. Now the fun begins."The front door opened and Reverend Morris came rushing in. "Sorry I've been so long. Bishop George kept prattling on for ages and then coming back home there's been a road accident so I had to take the long way home, oh I see you've been busy!" He noticed his wife was completely naked except for an apron."Welcome home," she smirked. "It's time to flip some pancakes. Is my randy reverend able to provide some batter?"He licked his lips. "What sort of batter would you be requiring?""Hmm, let's see. That special 'anointing oil' you used during my 21st birthday?" She whirled a frying pan in her hand and flipped a pancake. "Here's one I prepared earlier."His hands found her shoulders, and turned her to face him. His hands moved up to cup her face and Jenna felt his lips close around hers in a tender kiss. She returned it with rising passion, slipping her tongue into his mouth. As their tongues danced, Jenna quickly unfastened her apron, letting it slide down over her smooth skin to the kitchen floor.She could hear Reverend Morris unfastening his own garments, and when he embraced her tightly, she felt his bare skin press against hers with delicious warmth. Her husband's mouth left her lips, trailing down her neck to her chest. He took a nipple in his mouth and teased the erect tip. It was perhaps the upcoming sex ban enhancing his senses, but Jenna's breasts had never felt so full, and had never tasted so sweet. His hands roamed down over her arse, savoring her curves.Reverend Morris moved back up her body, his lips playing over her breasts, then back up her neck. Jenna's hands slid down his chest and at last reached their goal. She gripped his throbbing member, took a few steps backward, pulling gently but firmly, and he promptly followed her. She felt the edge of the kitchen countertop meet her lower back, and she swiftly heaved herself on to the cool granite surface and lay back, spreading her legs.Reverend Morris had a sudden urge to taste his wife; his tongue met with her soft skin just above her clit, then down into her folds, tasting, discovering and exploring all that she had to offer. He began to suck and lick her clit. How he loved to worship at this altar.Jenna reached for the bowl of pancake batter. A wooden spoon was sticking out of the bowl. Without hesitation, she began spooning the batter down her breasts."It tastes alright," she murmured, placing a blob of batter on her husband's nose. "But it needs an extra ingredient, ""Umm, I think I can help you there.""Fuck me religiously, darling." Jenna said hoarsely.A pair of strong, silky legs wrapped around the vicar's arse. He lowered himself onto her and felt those glorious batter-coated breasts rub against his chest as he began thrusting into her. He tried to set a steady, leisurely pace to begin, but the legs around him urged him on faster and harder. Reverend Morris responded with enthusiasm, and within moments he was pounding into his wife with all his strength, mindful that after tonight he wouldn't be able to do this for six weeks."Yes, yes, oh my God yes, I've never felt anything like it!" Jenna moaned."Bloody hell, I'm coming, oh Jenna!" Reverend Morris yelled as his stream of hot cum filled up her cunt and flowed back out onto the kitchen countertop.Jenna lay back on the countertop, eyes closed. It was several minutes before her breathing had calmed enough for her to speak."Did I provide enough batter?" Reverend Morris asked."Your holy offering was more than generous!""Forty days without from this moment on. You've still time to change your mind.""I'm sticking to it, Simon. We'll get through Lent. We'll have to think up some creative contactless ways to get our rocks off."The smell of burning interrupted them. They both glanced at the stove. To Jenna's dismay, the pancake she'd been cooking had been virtually cremated in the frying pan."Oh dear," she said, gazing at the remains of the pancake, which now resembled a lump of coal."Now that's what I call a perfect burnt offering for Ash Wednesday!" Reverend Morris replied.The Organist is Entertained.Gordon Leesmith always looked forward to Thursday evening arriving. This was when he had organ practice at church, and for the past few months he'd been teaching Jenna to play the organ. These lessons were really just an excuse for a passionate romp with the stunning vicar's wife, who was always more than willing to get her hands on the organ in his trousers, rather than the church one.Gordon hummed to himself as he brewed himself a cup of tea. He checked the time. It was only just after midday. Six hours to go. He was impatient and horny, but in a very happy mood. He'd just returned from seeing his Primary Care physician. That in itself something of a miracle in modern Britain; and received good news. His benign prostate enlargement wasn't as bad as he'd feared. Despite being a bit overweight, the doctor had given him a clean bill of health. His blood pressure was low, and so was his cholesterol.Today was his birthday. He was fifty six. A year ago, Gordon had been a miserable, short-tempered man who didn't endear himself to anyone else in the church. Long-divorced, impotent and frustrated with being alone for so long, his life had turned upside down when a young woman by the name of Jenna Fox had started attending St. Michael's Church. A few months later, she'd turned her attentions to flirting with him. Never in a million years did Gordon think he'd end up getting his cock sucked by a stunning redhead whilst he sat on the organ stool.As Gordon sipped his tea, his phone vibrated."Oh, an email from Jenna," he smiled, checking the message.Happy Birthday Gordon! About tonight. I'm afraid I can't make tonight's organ practice. I won't be able to until Easter arrives. Thing is, I've chosen to give up sex for Lent. I know you won't to hear this and it's going to be so hard for me to stick to this, but you've got to test yourself and set a challenge, right? It's what being a Christian is all about. I truly hope you'll understand. But - that doesn't mean we can't still have some fun! Make sure you visit the church - I've left a birthday present for you on the organ stool, trust me, it'll see you through this hard time. And when Easter comes, Jesus won't be the only person that rises, wink wink. It'll be worth the wait, keep your organ pipe warm for me.Love Jenna. xxx"She's abstaining from sex?" Gordon almost dropped his cup of tea. "Wait, what? Oh no! This is a nightmare! I won't be able to have a fuck for six weeks? Bloody hell! I'll go round the bend, I can't even call on Yulia's mate Martika anymore. Damn it, why did she have to bugger off back to Ukraine?"He wasn't sure whether to scream or burst into tears, but after he overcame the initial shock, he took a deep breath and composed himself."Well if she's gone on strike that means the vicar, the churchwarden, the curate and the bishop won't be getting any cunt either. Ha! Misery loves company, as the old saying goes. Gordon suddenly felt much better, knowing he wasn't the only one being denied the pleasure. Still, six weeks, God, this was going to be a struggle."Hmm, oh well. I've endured worse. I once had to endure that ‘Brotherhood of Man' tribute act in Skegness. I wonder what Jenna's got me for my birthday?"He picked up his car keys. There was only one way to find out.When Gordon arrived at the church, he discovered that the door was unlocked. Usually he had the place to himself, and he was thankful for that, given the sort of "organ practice" he liked to engage in with Jenna. Cautiously, he entered the church. The sound of a vacuum cleaner could be heard. Mrs. Wilcox, one of the many "old church biddies" as Gordon secretly called them, was busy cleaning up the aisle. Noticing the organist approaching, the slightly-built pensioner switched off the vacuum."Ah, hello Gordon! Are you here to tickle the ivories? I'm just finishing off here and then I'll be out of your way." It wasn't at all fair to describe Gladys as an ‘old biddy'. She kept herself fit and classy, and besides the rotation of sanctuary cleaning which she took part, she also headed up an outreach to single mothers in the community."Hello Gladys. No need to stop on my account. I usually come here in the evening, but, er, change of plans. You know, you really should lock yourself in when you're here by yourself. You know what it's like these days. Quite a few crackheads and drunks hang around the churchyard, some can be intimidating."The old woman rolled her eyes. "Oh they don't concern me, dearie. I carry a small can of mace in my apron pocket. My grandson Dwaine bought it for me online. He'll be arriving soon to give me a lift home."Gordon raised an eyebrow. "Blimey. There's more to you than meets the eye. Is that stuff even legal?""Maybe not, but you won't rat on an oldie, will you?" She looked back over her shoulder at him, then winked.Gordon laughed. "My lips are sealed, Gladys."Gordon's Lentil Gift From JennaHe hurried to the organ. "Crafty old gal," he said to himself. On the stool was a red gift bag. "Ah, this must be Jenna's little present for me," he said sitting down on the stool and opening the bag. A large red envelope and something wrapped in pink tissue paper were inside. He opened the envelope, and pulled out a birthday card. Inside, Jenna had written a little rhyme.Organists are sexyNone more than youOpen your presentIt'll help you get through!Xxxx"Ha-ha," Gordon chuckled. "Well whatever is this present?" He began tearing off the tissue paper. "What's this? A torch?" He held up the plastic object, then removed the cap on the end. "Bloody hell. She's bought me one of those fleshlight sex toys!" He peered closely at the silicone vagina. "Nice cunt lips, even if they are artificial, oh wait, there's a piece of paper stuffed inside." He pulled out the note.Hello Gordon. I had this specially made for you. Now you can still put your organ pipe inside me all through Lent! P S - don't forget to use the lube!"Wow, she had a cast of her own cunt made just for me! What a great birthday present! Last year all I got was a pair of slippers from my cousin." He noticed the small bottle of clear lube in the bottom of the gift bag, but didn't pay much attention to it, being too distracted by the sex toy. His erection was straining painfully against his underpants and trousers. Despite Mrs. Wilcox still busily vacuuming the pew cushions, Gordon unzipped and pulled out his cock. He peered over the top of the organ. The old girl had her back to him and besides, you had to walk round to the side of the organ to see anything. He was safely concealed behind the instrument. She wouldn't notice him having a quick wank,"Never used a sex toy before," he muttered to himself, sticking a finger into the fleshlight. "First time for everything though. It feels really tight, let's give it a go." He attempted to slide his cock inside."God, this is really tight, oof!" He managed to slide his cock halfway in, but instantly regretted it."Bit too tight, ouch!" He tried to pull out, but his cock was fully stuck inside the toy.The realization hit him. "Shit. I should've used the lube."Gordon bit his lip, as he tried to ease the thing off this manhood, but to no avail."Oh no."Gladys the paramedicMrs. Wilcox switched off the vacuum cleaner and glanced round. She could just see the top of Gordon's head. The organ was completely silent."Is he playing with the volume turned down?" She wondered.Gordon was starting to panic. If he didn't get this toy off soon, things could become embarrassing. He didn't want to have to drive up to an emergency medical center to get it removed."Come off, damn you, come off!" He grunted."Having problems, dearie?" Mrs. Wilcox said, appearing at the side of the organ. "Oh my!"Gordon looked mortified. "Um, hello Gladys," he mumbled. "I've got a bit of a problem.""I can see that, you silly boy. What on earth have you been doing? I trust that's not an outsized organ stop?"The organist blushed crimson. "Er, no. It's not. It's a, look, it's got stuck. I can't get it off my, thing.""Let's have a look." Before he could protest, she grabbed the fleshlight and pulled on it."Oww!" Gordon yelled. "Don't yank it like that, Gladys! I don't want to end up like John Wayne Bobbitt!""Needs some lubricant or something. That should help. When I was a child, I got my father's chamber pot stuck on my head. Mother used lard to get it off.""There's a bottle of lube in that bag," Gordon winced, as his cock started to hurt.Mrs. Wilcox wasted no time, and squirted a generous amount of the clear gel on her hands, before smearing some round the base of Gordon's cock. He gave an awkward cough as her gnarled old fingers probed around his privates. He'd never be able to look this eighty-something woman in the eye again during a church service. Going to A & E would be more embarrassing, he kept telling himself. Then again, perhaps not!"Alright, let's try easing if off. Nice and slow." Mrs. Wilcox gripped the base of his cock, and with her left hand began to gently pull the fleshlight. It began to slide off. "That's it! It's coming off now! Gently does it!""Almost," Gordon said, gritting his teeth.She continued to pull and finally, the toy slid off, with a popping sound."There we are! Pop goes the weasel!" Mrs. Wilcox smiled. She handed him the offending toy."Thanks so much," Gordon gasped, relieved that his cock hadn't come to any serious harm."What a big, thick willy you've got!" Mrs. Wilcox replied. "No wonder that thing got stuck!""Er, thanks," Gordon mumbled, feeling more embarrassed than ever."No need to be shy, dearie. A man who is blessed like you shouldn't hide his light under a bushel, no! It's so much bigger than my late husband's was. Dear old Bert, he used to love it when I played with his willy. Of course that was over twenty years ago. I wish I could give yours a proper sucking, but I'd have to remove my dentures, and I've used the Poligrip, "The mention of dentures being removed was almost sufficient to make Gordon lose his erection. He was about to say something, but she continued."On the other hand, an opportunity like this doesn't come my way very often! You don't mind letting an old lady have a little bit of fun before she ends up down the cemetery or in a nursing home do you, Gordon? I'm eighty-six. My mouth is pretty much all that works these days, so that will have to do. Think of it as my reward for rescuing your phallic treasure." She dragged over a nearby kneeling bench, knelt, and motioned for Gordon to step to offer her some ‘communion'.He hadn't the heart to say no. "Um, you go ahead, Gladys." Gordon closed his eyes as she removed her false teeth. He hadn't planned on getting a gum-job from a granny. He presented His cock on the padded velvet counter of her communion kneeler. She gasped in marvel at the glorious treat laying near her covered breasts. Then took his shaft slowly in one hand, and cupped his balls with her other hand. Her eye's sparkled as she beheld the phallus. And then her mouth engulfed his cock.Grasping the base of the shaft, Mrs. Wilcox took the organist's throbbing cock in her mouth and started to move her head back and forth, taking it deeper and deeper."Oh," Gordon sighed. He leaned back, gripping the sides of the organ stool and enjoyed the wonderful sensations as she sucked his manhood. She was good, no, she was very good! This was better than he ever could've imagined. The white-haired pensioner's head continued bobbing up and down on Gordon's cock, tasting some of the pre-cum."Oh yes!" He gasped. God, it felt so good!She withdrew and licked the tip of his cock, swirling around the purple head, as her fingers softly stroked the shaft. Her old skills began to come back to her. Her head and lips moved in an erotic performance. Her tongue provided a private performance that only his cock would ever experience. And the sultry ora she exuded was masterful. This woman was a sex god that only her husband ever worshipped. And now, Gordon was added to that exclusive clan of devotees."Gladys, I'm going to come," Gordon panted. "Uh!""Then fire away, dearie! I'd love a taste!" She felt him tense and then he climaxed. With that, he filled her mouth with streams of his thick, sticky cum as it spurted to the back of her throat. Mrs. Wilcox slurped and swallowed it all. Then she pressed her nose hard against his pelvice, and his thick meat pressed her larynx.As his final spurts tapered off, she very slowly pulled her head back, until his cock flopped down on the velvet padding where Gladys' grandchildren receieved their first holy Eucarist. "Umm, tastes just as good as I remember! There we go, Gordon. I'm sure you feel better now that you've emptied your plums!" She patted his cock, before lovingly tucking it back into his briefs and trousers and zipping him up. "You know something, a fine young man like you could easily pull a lady. Why, I bet there's loads of ladies who'd jump at the chance to get their hands on you! You're such a talented organist too, and you've been divorced a long time. Oh, If I were thirty years younger."Young? She thinks I'm young? I suppose to an octogenarian, fifty-six is young."Oh, I don't want to get married again," Gordon replied, wiping his brow. "I'd prefer something, casual." He cleared his throat. "Thanks for, helping me Gladys!""Well we're all good Christians here, yes? We should help each other!" Gladys looked at where she was kneeling. “Did you know, Gordon; The Greek word for communion is ‘koinonia'. It's also the Greek word for ‘intercourse'? I'll always cherish this special treat you've shared with me.”The door of the church opened and a hulking, six-foot young man came strolling in. He was covered in tattoos and obviously a regular visitor to the gym, as his massive upper arms and shoulders proved. The man looked like he could break necks merely by flicking his finger."Gran, are you here?"Gordon froze in horror as he peered over the top of the organ. "Who the hell's that?" The man resembled Lewis Hamilton bulked up on steroids."Oh that'll be Dwaine, my grandson," Mrs. Wilcox replied. "Be with you in a minute, sweetie!" She called out. "I've just been helping Gordon to polish his organ!"A Sermon That's More Stimulating Than Usual.Reverend Morris was struggling to write his sermon. It was only the second week of Lent, but he was finding this one harder than he ever imagined. The sex ban that his wife had imposed was starting to bite. Jenna seemed to be coping much better than him, and he felt ashamed at his weakness."Help me to be strong, Lord!"Suddenly, his phone beeped. A message from Jenna.Hello Simon. It's lunch break here at work. I figured you're still home alone and maybe feeling a bit, stressed? Why not look up Write-Erotica for some inspiration?She added a winking emoji"Write-Erotica? What's that?" the vicar wondered. He eagerly opened the laptop's browser. "A site for writers of erotic fiction? Hmm. I've never heard of this before. I'm always years behind everyone else, when it comes to things. Okay, let's have a browse. I wonder if there are any naughty fictions about clergy on here?"Reverend Morris soon discovered that the tags for "priest" "vicar" and "church sex" brought up a massive number of results. He was spoilt for choice and clicked on several stories. Some were much-better written than others."Jessica and Father Andrew broke the kiss, a trail of saliva still connecting their lips together. Their mouths were still so close to each other. Jessica let out a small breath as the priest grabbed her tight little ass. "You can go inside, if you want," she told him, then she pressed her lips on his mouth again and soon enough Father Andrew's tongue was in her mouth now, not that she minded at all. They had to be very quiet because they were in the confessional booth,"Reverend Morris read out loud."But the church was empty, so why did they need to be quiet? Eh, I'm just nit picking. This is a pretty hot story!" Feeling himself getting hard, Reverend Morris unzipped his trousers and slipped a hand inside, pulling out his cock. As he continued to read, he started jacking his cock slowly.Jessica unzipped the priest's pants, ‘oh yes,' he said. He began to moan and groan as he continued pleasuring himself.Her sweet, heavenly lips worshipped his holy shaft in ways he never imagined,It felt so wonderful jerking his throbbing cock whilst reading this erotic fic. Reverend Morris began to move his hips around and his legs straightened out under the desk. Soon he laid his head back and stretched his body further. Next thing he know, he let out a rather loud, "Oh, yes, yes that's it!" and started to cum.His milky fluid spurted out and all over his laptop keyboard."Ah,"Write-Erotica had done its work and provided Reverend Morris with some much-needed relief, as well as inspiration."I still don't know what to write about for my sermon, but I'd love to have a go at writing an erotic story just for Jenna," he smiled, getting some wet wipes and cleaning up his keyboard. "I've never tried writing erotica before, but first time for everything! Maybe we could write a chain story or something, and get it finished just before Easter? That could be fun!"Excited by this new idea, the vicar opened a new Word document and began typing away."I'll just write a few paragraphs of smut and then I must finish my sermon!" At the Sunday Eucharist,Reverend Morris was joined by another vicar, who was standing in for Josh the curate, who was attending a conference in Birmingham, as part of his ongoing religious training."A very warm welcome to everyone this morning," Reverend Morris began, addressing the congregation. "As we continue our journey through Lent, I'd like to introduce Reverend Jones from St. Wilfrid's church in Manchester. It's a great honor for her to be here today - she'll be reading the sermon I've been laboring over all week,""Poor woman," someone in the congregation muttered, leading to some muffled sniggers.While the vicar was talking, Gordon was idly peering over the top of the organ. He noticed Jenna sat in the front pew and winked at her. Moments later, Mrs. Wilcox, who was sat next to her, winked back at him and gave him a little wave. Gordon gave an awkward smile and shrunk back behind the organ,"Without further ado, I shall now hand over to Reverend Jones," Reverend Morris said.The vicar of St. Wilfrid's was a dumpy, bespectacled woman, aged about fifty, with grey hair in a bowl cut."Looks like the identical twin of that MP woman," an old man muttered. "What's her name? Therese, something. She's the secretary of state.""No idea," another old man replied. "Oh wait a minute! I know who you mean. Norman Lamont! I thought those eyebrows looked familiar,""No you daft git, he's a bloke!""That vicar looks like a lass to me. Mind you, one can't tell these days,"Reverend Jones stepped up to the pulpit and placed some papers on the book stand."I haven't had a sneak-peek at this sermon," she began. "So it will be a wonderful surprise for me as well as you. I'm sure Reverend Morris has gone the extra mile, as he usually does, and written something that'll make us all think."Reverend Morris gave a proud smile as he looked up at her.Gordon gave a subtle yawn. He always dreaded this part of the service. Reverend Morris had the ability to cure insomnia with his sermons, despite Jenna's best efforts to inject a bit more fun into them,"They say the Devil makes work for idle hands," Reverend Jones said, as she began reading the sermon. "That's a phrase we're all familiar with. This morning, I woke up, and my hands were rotting in idleness. My mind had been drifting to places, sinful places all week. I wouldn't say I'm a regular user of PornHub but," she paused.A look of horror appeared on Reverend Morris' face. "That isn't my sermon," he said to himself. "Oh no,"In the pews, there were a couple of awkward coughs and raised eyebrows. At the organ, Gordon suddenly perked up. This had to be the first time ever that the word PornHub was mentioned in a sermon!"The site just wasn't doing it for me," Reverend Jones continued, "so I decided to go for a walk in the park. I can't tell you how my spirits were instantly lifted. Light was filtering through the trees. It was golden and bright. How blessed we are that God has made all this for us, I thought, and then something in the bushes caught my eye. There was no-one else around. It was then that I saw her, naked as Eve in the Garden of Eden, about to take a dip in the lake. Her sweetly, up-tilted bare breasts reflected the glorious morning aura and her rose-pink nipples were as full and hard as ripe apples,"Reverend Jones paused. "What an excellent use of adjectives. I'm sure we can just imagine this scene in our heads can't we?"Never had the congregation of St, Michael's been so engrossed by a sermon before!"Not half," someone said out loud.Poor Reverend Morris' face had flooded several shades of red. He stood up and hurried to the pulpit."Angela, that's not the sermon I wrote!" He mumbled, begging her to stop."I've started, so I'll finish," she replied. "Everyone seems to be enjoying this.""Her name was Giselle, and she loved to unburden herself and swim in the lake. Freed from her clothes, I watched her in the nude and was convinced I was seeing the embodiment of an angel. She knew I watching, and she knew I liked to watch. I knew she liked me to watch, but this morning, we decided to do more than watch.""How romantic," Mrs. Wilcox said, turning to Jenna. "Your husband has a fine turn of phrase. It's better than his usual sermons, dearie. You should encourage him to write more like this. This church will soon be packed to the rafters if he keeps this up!""Oh, thanks very much!" Jenna replied innocently. She gazed at poor Reverend Morris, who was squirming with embarrassment at the side of the pulpit. He'd mixed up his sermon with some erotic fic, did he write the fic himself or find it online? She was curious to find out."What could be more divine than seeing a beautiful woman naked in a park?" Reverend Jones continued, reading out the story without a care in the world. "Personally, I think Tom Hiddleston naked in a park would be more divine, but that's just my opinion, ""I shouldn't say such things as I'm in a church, but I wouldn't mind seeing the organist naked," Mrs. Wilcox whispered to Jenna, who did a double take. This was one of those rare occasions when even she was left speechless for a few moments!"Really Gladys! You dark horse. Didn't know you had the hots for Gordon!""Just because there's snow on the roof, doesn't mean the fire's gone out!" the old lady replied."Oh this next paragraph has been all scribbled out," Reverend Jones said. She flipped the page over."My pearly-white ejaculate looked perfect dripping off her pink-nosed puppies. I got some on my hand and remember being surprised that it was so hot. I pulled my cassock off and wiped the cum off my hand with it. I walked home that night with a huge smile on my face and love bites on my little reverend."Reverend Morris snatched the papers off the book stand. "Er, my sincere apologies everyone, I made a terrible mistake!""Such a shame, it was building up to a nice conclusion," Reverend Jones said."No, that wasn't my sermon at all. I, I have no idea how that piece of writing ended up mixed up with my church papers!""Dat some good shit right there, Vicar!" Tony the reformed drug addict said, standing up and clapping.The flustered vicar attempted to move on. "Hymn, let's all stand for the hymn! Lo, He Comes With Clouds Descending!""You know something Simon," Reverend Jones said as she headed down the pulpit steps, "you need to get yourself signed up to an adult fiction site. You have talent. I'm on A o 3 myself - under a pseudonym of course. I like writing slash fanfiction about British politicians, I can send you a link if you're interested in reading them?""Er, no thanks, Angela. I'm sure they're very good, but I prefer to avoid anything relating to politics!"To be continued in part 2.By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

Saint Michael's Church has a new First Lady, named Jenna.A Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Candlemas RompThis Sunday had brought the heaviest rain so far of 2023. The weather had caused a notable drop in the number of people attending this morning's church service, Reverend Morris noticed.Today was Candlemas, which commemorated the ritual purification of Mary, forty days after the birth of her son Jesus. This day also marked the ritual presentation of the baby Jesus to God in the Temple at Jerusalem. It reminded Jenna of her own sacred ritual of fertility, Mentula Cōleī Baptism'. She's thankful to be so blessed by God, to have such devoted church elders guiding her spiritual development.After the service, and the usual tea, biscuits and chit chat in the church hall, Reverend Morris was eager to return to the vicarage. His wife had given him "that look"; and he knew what that meant. It had been a week since they'd made love, and as he had a feeling Jenna would be more than up for "a little afternoon delight," as she termed it.Outside, the late January winter rain was still lashing down. Despite the vicarage being a five minute walk from the church, the vicar and his wife had neglected to bring an umbrella with them. By the time they arrived home, they were both soaked to the bone.Reverend Morris' hair was wet, and the legs of his trousers clung damply to him, and the back of his black shirt was also soaked. He figured he was going to come down with a nasty cold if he didn't get into some dry clothes right away. Jenna evidently had the same thought, and they went straight upstairs to the master bedroom.She opened the wardrobe doors, and he switched on a bedside lamp. Shivering, they stripped out of their wet clothes.When they were nearly undressed, they glanced at each other. Their eyes locked.Still, they didn't speak. They didn't need to.He took her in his arms, and they kissed lightly at first, tenderly. Her mouth was warm and soft and vaguely flavored with communion wine.She clutched him, pulled him closer, her fingertips digging into the muscles of his back. She pushed her mouth hard against his, scraped his lip with her teeth, thrust her tongue deep, and abruptly their kisses grew hot, demanding.Something seemed to snap in him, and in her, too, for their desire was suddenly marked by animal urgency. They responded to each other in a hungry, almost frenzied fashion, hastily casting off the last of their clothes, pawing at each other's wet bodies, squeezing, stroking. She nipped his shoulder with her teeth. He gripped her pert buttocks and kneaded them with uncharacteristic crudity, but she didn't wince or try to pull away; indeed, she pressed even more insistently against him, rubbing her breasts over his chest and grinding her hips against his. Their wet, tussled hair and slippery bodies wrestled to seduce each other into submission. The soft whimpers that escaped from her were not sounds of pain; they clearly expressed her eagerness and need.In bed, his energy was manic, and his staying power amazed him. He was insatiable, and so was she. They thrust and thrashed and flexed and tensed in perfect harmony, as if they were not only joined but fused, as if they were a single organism, shaken by only one set of stimuli instead of two. Every vestige of civilization slipped from them, and for a long while the only noises they made were animal sounds: panting; groaning; throaty grunts of pleasure; short, sharp cries of excitement. At last Jenna uttered the first word to pass between them since they had left the church:"Oh my God!"And again, arching her slender, graceful body, tossing her head from side to side on the pillow: "Yes, yes!" It was not merely an orgasm to which she was saying yes, for she'd already had a couple of those and had announced them with only ragged breathing and soft mewling. She was saying yes to life.The vicar repeated the word as if chanting a sacred incantation,"Yes, yes, yes!"as he emptied his cum into her a second time.Spent, they stretched out on their backs, side by side on the disheveled bed. For a long time they listened to the rain on the roof and to the persistent thunder, which was no longer loud enough to rattle the windows. Wind howled around the side of the house.Jenna lay with her eyes closed, her face completely relaxed."Lovely service this morning, Simon!" She said at last. "Great choice of hymns.""It certainly was. I think my sermon went down well. Shame about the weather.""Hmm, I don't know - I think the rainy weather makes me much hornier than normal!" It isn't even February, but my winter ‘cabin fever' has already set in. Get ready for more of this ravishing sex, my stud!"Happy Candlemas, Jenna," Reverend Morris replied.Jenna & the Church Trip: Part 1“Thine be the glory hole!”More light-hearted goings-on with vicar's wife Jenna. New year, new naughtiness, and a dull coach trip organized by the church might turn out to be more fun than expected! God works in mysterious ways. For Jenna's husband, it was relief from a nymph wife who had few other ways to occupy herself, besides sexual romps, at all hours of the day and night."I'm so pleased that Alpha and Omega coach holidays have re-started their short breaks," Reverend Simon Morris excitedly exclaimed. "I've just booked us on the three-day trip to Epworth!"His wife Jenna looked up from her phone. "Epworth? Where's that?""It's in Lincolnshire. Now I know what you're thinking, it's January, the excitement of Christmas and the New Year is over and it's such a dull time of year. The weather is awful and what I really should be doing is booking us a fortnight in the Maldives or Barbados to escape the British winter blues. But instead I've booked us a coach trip to Lincolnshire,"Jenna tried to look interested. "Well, I've never been to Lincolnshire. Always nice to see somewhere new.""The reason I booked this trip is that Epworth is the birthplace of John and Charles Wesley. I thought you'd like to see it. After all, you are a big fan of them, yes?" He winked at her. "Oakwood Road Methodist Church are forever grateful to you for what you did last year."Jenna grinned. "I'd love to see their birthplace. So, when is this trip?""Next Monday. I think it'll be a fun little getaway. Gordon's coming along too. Oh and so is Barry, his cousin."That made Jenna perk up. Ooh, she thought to herself. I wonder if he's as hot? "He's recovered from his broken ankle then?""As far as I know, he's made a full recovery. His daughter Lisa came over from Florida to stay with him, so Gordon was relieved at that.""Thank goodness for that," Jenna replied. She'd really missed seeing her favorite organist. Oakwood's organist Raymond Wilson had done a superb job standing in for Gordon, thanks to some "gentle persuasion" from Jenna on Christmas Eve. "What sort of hotel are we staying at?"Reverend Morris looked at the Alpha and Omega brochure. "Hmm. We're staying at a hotel just outside Epworth that was originally a 17th century coaching inn. It's called The Parson's Knob, "Jenna almost spat out the coffee she was drinking. "Seriously?""I'm sure there is an innocent explanation for that name! Then again, maybe not! According to the travel agent, all twenty rooms of the hotel had been booked up for a group of Albanian asylum seekers. However for some bizarre reason, after a few days, the Albanians all begged to be transferred to a Travelodge a few miles away.""That is weird," Jenna replied. "I'd much rather stay in a lovely old historical inn than some crappy Travelodge. Oh well. Maybe they wanted somewhere a bit more modern?""Perhaps?"The day of the trip arrived. The British weather was true to form, and it had been raining hard since dawn. "When's the coach due again?" Jenna asked as she and Reverend Morris shivered at the bus stop opposite the railway station."Should be here now," her husband replied. "Oh look, there's Gordon and Barry!""Hmm, maybe this trip won't be so dull after all!" She smirked. Barry was basically a clone of Gordon. "Looks more like his identical twin brother than his cousin!" The only difference being that Barry was wearing glasses. The resemblance was uncanny."I don't know why I let you talk me into coming with you on this trip," Barry moaned as he and Gordon approached the bus stop. "You know I'm not a member of the God Squad, ""You haven't met the vicar's wife yet," Gordon whispered."Oh, this the lass you've got the hots for?" His skeptical cousin rolled his eyes."I think you'll find quite a lot of the fellas at St. Michael's Church have the hots for her," Gordon replied. "Oh God, there she is!"Barry adjusted his glasses. "Bloody hell. You weren't kidding when you said she was a bit of a fox, were you? Dream on! She's way too young for you, Gordy! I'd say she's way too young for the vicar too, but she must have a thing for older men if she's ended up marrying him,"Gordon chuckled. "If only you knew half of the things that go on at St. Michael's, dear cousin. If you did, wild horses wouldn't be able to drag you away from the Sunday Eucharist!""Hello!" Jenna said. "Oh Gordon, is this your cousin?""Hiya, and yes, this is Barry. He's not been won over by St. Michael's yet,""I see. Nice to meet you! Maybe you'll think differently about our church after you've been on this trip?""Perhaps," Barry interrupted, ogling Jenna, until Gordon gave him a nudge.Ten minutes later, a white minibus pulled up at the bus stop."Oh, I was expecting a coach," said Jenna. Further along the street, came Josh the curate and Norman the churchwarden."Not as many people booked as was expected," Reverend Morris replied. "I blame the weather. Afraid there's only six of us!"The group boarded the bus. Barry turned to Gordon. "She's not the typical vicar's wife is she?""Oh not at all," Gordon smiled.Barely half an hour into the journey and as always tended to happen on road trips, someone needed the toilet.Reverend Morris rolled his eyes. "Oh for goodness sake, we've only just set off. We're not due to stop for another hour, when we have our lunch at Cusworth Hall in Doncaster!"This does tend to happen when you have elderly passengers," the bus driver remarked. "I know. I've been doing this job for thirty years. The stories I could tell you!""We haven't got any elderly passengers," the vicar replied. "It's our organist who needs to go. As usual!""Oi, it's not my fault my bloody prostate makes me pee more!" Gordon yelled from the back of the bus. "You're not being very Christian today, Vicar! How about some compassion for your fellow man?""Yes, yes, alright. I'm sorry Gordon. Alright, we'll find somewhere to pull in for a quick comfort break. Is that okay with you, Ahmed?""No worries," the bus driver replied, checking the sat nav. "There's a coach stop a couple of miles away. I'll just come off at the next junction and it's right there. I've stopped at it a few times. It's a bit down at heel, but,""That'll do. As long as there are toilets.""Oh yeah. They're unisex though, and a bit, grimy. Is that a problem?""Not at all," Reverend Morris smirked. "Any port in a storm, as the old saying goes!"The minibus exited the motorway. A short time later, it pulled onto the car park of Jed's Butty Hut, a sandwich restaurant in a 1960s prefab that had seen better days."Right," Reverend Morris said, checking his watch. "We'll have a fifteen minute stop here. Can everyone be back on the bus by ten o'clock please?"The toilets were at the back of the main building. Gordon hurried in first. There were five cubicles, each with its own nauseating odor. He entered the first one. The toilet was missing a seat and the bowl was overflowing with vomit."Ugh. No thanks." He hurried out and entered the next one. A dead crow was sticking out of the toilet, beak wide open and wings spread, reminiscent of a scene from Hitchcock's The Birds."Fuck," he muttered, rushing out and into the third one. This toilet seemed clean enough, only a few cigarette ends and crack pipes floating in it.A few minutes later, Jenna decided to relieve herself, even though she could've held on until Doncaster. It was always the same on a trip. You got the urge to go even though you didn't actually need to go.The pretty redhead went into the end cubicle, which was the cleanest of the lot. Graffiti was daubed all over the walls, the usual expletives, plus crude drawings of cocks done in black marker pen. An urban art gallery for the times, she remarked to herself as she did her thing. It was then that she noticed a neat, circular hole on the lower right side of the partition wall."Ooh, a glory hole," she said to herself. "I wonder if it's well-used?""Why don't we try it out?" A muffled voice in the next cubicle muttered. Seconds later, a cock poked through it!"Gordon, is that you?" Jenna whispered. The shaft was thick just like his."No," the mystery man replied. She didn't recognize his voice, so he had to be someone from the restaurant. Jenna gasped. A burst of excitement ran through her, at the thought of touching this stranger's cock. At the same time, the danger associated with doing this seemed to add to the thrill.With her right hand, she reached down, slowly tracing up and down the length of the engorged cock with her palm. The man let out a groan. The size and hardness of his member increased Jenna's excitement. Her cunt was getting increasingly wet in anticipation, and she quickly knelt down in front of the generous offering.She rolled her tongue around its circumference and sucked on it as she would a piece of fruit, trying to get every drop of pre-cum. Not content with just a portion, she began to slowly venture down the shaft. With every thrust forward, she took more of it down her throat."Oh!" The mystery man exclaimed. He moaned in pleasure and bestowed every compliment he could think of on her.Jenna withdrew in order to say something. "What a gentleman you are!""Well you're damned good," came his reply.With every bobbing of her head, Jenna made progress toward the base. Above the slurping sounds she made as she wetted the shaft with her saliva, she could hear the stranger gently moaning with approval at her technique. She began to vary her speed; one moment erupting with a robust attack, then at an instant slowing her pace to relish the feast.Feeling the end would arrive soon, Jenna quickened her speed. She too, felt the rising heat from her crotch swelling to an orgasmic crescendo. Then, at the apex of pleasure, there erupted from deep within her cunt a spasm, which rapidly spread a pleasing warmth all over her body.The man's body stiffened as he released his full load into Jenna's mouth with a mighty groan. When every drop had been expelled, he slowly withdrew his rod from the glory hole."Mmm, delicious," Jenna said, swallowing all the cum. There was the sound of a zipper being fastened. Suddenly she heard the main door of the toilets open and a group of people enter. She stood up and flushed the toilet. The mystery man exited the cubicle before Jenna was able to peek through the glory hole to see who he was."Oh shit," Jenna muttered, checking her smartphone. It was ten o'clock. "Simon's not going to be too happy."Hurrying out of the toilet, she washed her hands and dashed out."Sorry I'm last guys," she said, getting back on the bus. "Those toilets were gross. I wasted time putting loads of paper on the seat.""Don't blame you," Reverend Morris replied. "I confess, I couldn't bring myself to go in! I'm squeamish about public loos, especially filthy ones. I'll just cross my legs until we get to Doncaster!"The minibus pulled out of the car park.Gordon glanced at his cousin, who appeared to be in a daze. "What's the matter with you? The sight of that dead bird in the bog?""Uh, what?" Barry replied, staring straight ahead."Never mind. You mustn't have seen it.""I've seen the light," said Barry."Are you hammered or something?"Barry smiled and turned to Gordon. "You were right! She isn't the typical vicar's wife!"As the minibus exited the M180 motorway and drew near to its destination, tall pines crowded the sides of a long main road. They formed a grey-green tunnel, casting long shadows in the late-afternoon light. The day was cloudless yet strangely forbidding, Reverend Morris mused."Well the weather's a lot better than it was this morning!" Jenna said, knocking her husband out of his thoughts. "The land sure is flat round here. No hills anywhere.""I think some parts of the Fens are below sea level," Reverend Morris said. "The highest point is World's Top. Lots of beautiful areas for walking and such, shame we haven't the time to explore the Wolds. Oh well, there'll be other times. I'm looking forward to getting off this bus and stretching my legs, though!"A road sign appeared. Epworth, 2 miles.A few houses were tucked in the purple gloom among the trees on both sides of the road; their windows glowed with soft yellow light even an hour before nightfall. Most were Georgian-era red brick cottages with terracotta roof tiles.The Parson's Knob was a 3 story building dating back to the 1690s. Once a coaching inn, it had gone through various occupations before being converted into a hotel. As the minibus pulled onto the car park, a peculiar sense of wrongness immediately overcame Reverend Morris. He could not identify the reasons for his instant negative reaction to the place, though perhaps it was related to the somber interplay of light and shadow caused by the tall conifers encircling the car park. At this dying end of the January day, in the cheerless sunlight, the white painted exterior of the building gleamed as if built from time-bleached bones. The shadows cast by the trees were stark, spiky, razor-edged.Exiting the minibus, the small group made their way into the hotel. There was no-one at the reception desk."Ah, typical British service," Gordon muttered to Barry. "Non-existent."As the group waited for a member of staff to arrive, Reverend Morris paused to study the other guests in the lounge. Not many were there, four or five people, mostly middle-aged. They also struck him as wrong, though his reasons for thinking ill of them were less definable than those that fanned his impression of the hotel itself. They looked uneasy, one man wandering around with peculiar air of urgency that seemed unsuited to an old-fashioned hotel such as this.Reverend Morris sighed and headed back to the reception desk, telling himself that his imagination was running wild.Gordon, not known for patience, pressed the bell on the reception desk again."Does anyone work at this place? We've been stood here for ten minutes!"Moments a later, an overworked-looking Eastern European woman came hurrying behind the desk."I'm so sorry for your wait! We're really short-staffed at the moment. Many workers have gone on strike.""Makes a change from being absent due to testing positive I suppose," Gordon replied and the vicar pulled a face at him."We've only four rooms available, the receptionist replied. "A lot of rooms are, being redecorated. Mr. and Mrs. Morris, you're in Room 13, which has a double bed." She turned to the others. "Which leaves three rooms, all with two single beds. Someone will have a room of their own, but the other four of you will have to share. Are you gentleman okay with sharing?"Josh looked at Norman. "That's fine by me."Gordon looked horrified. "I'm not sharing a room with my cousin. He snores!""What? No I don't!" Barry shouted."You do. When I was seeing to you over Christmas when you had that broken ankle, you nodded off on the couch and your snoring was that bad, doors were opening and closing."Ahmed the bus driver attempted to calm the situation. "I don't mind sharing. My wife snores. They can hear her snores in Bradford. I'm used to it though. I just put my wireless earbuds in.""Okay, thanks, that's sorted then. Mr. Leesmith, you get the room of your own then, yes?""Suits me!" Gordon smiled. "I prefer a room all to myself."Jenna smirked. "Unless you have to share a room with a woman, or a pipe organ, right?"He winked back at her. "You know me so well!"Barry raised an eyebrow. "Hmm, "Reverend Morris and Jenna trudged up three flights of stairs to get to the room, seeing as the lift was out of order."Good thing we've just got overnight bags instead of heavy suitcases," he said. "I'm not too enamored with this place so far.""What do you expect for such a low price though? It could be so much worse. It's dated and badly in need of re-decorating, but it seems clean enough. Cheer up Simon!" Jenna said. Already she was thinking of Gordon, all alone in his room. Maybe I could read him a bedtime story,"Yep, you're right. Sorry for being such a misery guts today. Not very Christian is it?"The vicar had arrived with the knowledge that something was rotten there, so of course he saw ominous signs in a perfectly innocent scene.At least that was what he told himself. But he knew better.During the wait at the reception desk, he'd overheard two of the guests discussing the hotel. Why had the Albanians left in such a hurry? What was the real reason for the workers going on strike? Reverend Morris had a hunch that the truth, once uncovered, would be unusually disturbing.Room 13, despite the bad luck associated with such a number, was decent enough, clean, double bed and a view overlooking the River Torne."Ooh comfy!" Jenna flopped on the bed. Reverend Morris peered out of the window. To the west, the sun sank through a sky that was slowly turning muddy red. Serpentine tendrils of fog began to rise off the water."There's a bit of a disagreeable chill in this room. I suppose it's because this window isn't double glazed." He sat down on the bed, still feeling a dim but persistent sense of unease.Jenna bit her lip. "Why don't we have some, fun?" She whispered something in her husband's ear and his eyes widened."My dear, are you sure?"She stood up and began loosening her clothing. "Long journeys make me so horny. What do you think John Wesley would do after a long journey?"He blinked. "Well, usually, he'd sit reading his Bible,""Hmm. In that case, let me lead you into temptation." She removed the last of her clothes.Reverend Morris immediately had a raging boner. "What a good idea!" The negative thoughts vanished from his mind as his wife began pleasuring herself.Jenna's eyes were heavy-lidded as she stared at the outline of the reverend's cock, which was presently tenting his black trousers. She lay back on the bed, and her bare foot slowly stroked up the inside of his thigh caressing the bulge of his manhood. Reverend Morris moaned at her sensual touch and thrust his hips instinctively against her foot. He raised her leg, ran his tongue lightly along the sole of her other foot, making her giggle. A low laugh rumbled in his throat as he went back to her toes, kissing each one before working his way up her smooth leg."Oh Simon,"She murmured his name in a needy whine, spreading her milky thighs further apart as his mouth slowly kissed and licked closer to her core. Unable to resist such an invitation, he settled on his stomach between her legs. He drew his tongue along her hot slit then closed his mouth over it to suck up her sweet juices. Jenna gasped, arching her back. Her husband began to worship her eagerly, her taste inflaming his want. She cried out then, rocking her hips and coming in his mouth. After savoring her juices, Reverend Morris stood up, unzipped his trousers, pulled out his cock and began lazily stroking it. She purred at the sight, sitting up in front of him and wrapping her hand around the base of the shaft."Let me bless you."He moved his hand and allowed her to stroke him. "Mmm, I am blessed in many ways, and eternally thankful!""Seeing as this hotel hasn't impressed you, it's up to me to make our stay here memorable." Jenna smiled and crawled in his lap, straddling him. The feeling of having her so close in his arms as she jacked him with her hand was intense because her cunt hovered so close to the head of his cock. Growling, Reverend Morris grasped her arse cheeks. Jenna closed her eyes in joy.At that point, an unseen presence in the room grew tired of being a mere spectator and decided to join in.He knelt behind Jenna so that she was sandwiched between the two of them, and began stroking her lower back.Reverend Morris began caressing her breasts. She let out a little moan at his touch.Enjoying her reaction, the invisible one moved his right hand down and he very gently used his index finger to massage her arsehole."Ooh Simon. That's new, but I like it!""What is?""Huh?" Jenna opened her eyes and realized both his hands were still on her tits. "I just felt something finger my butthole, ah!"Arching her back and squeezing her husband's cock with her hand, she uttered a breathy scream."Simon, I think there's a ghost in here!" Jenna whimpered in response as the unseen presence put firm pressure on her rosebud. "Ahh, he's fingering my arse!""I can't see anyone," Reverend Morris moaned, desperate to feel the tight walls of Jenna's sex engulf him. "Maybe John Wesley's come looking for you?" He shifted his hips so the head of his aching shaft was nestled at her entrance."I'm being serious here!"Someone continued to stroke her arsehole, gradually putting more pressure until the tip of his finger was inside."Mmm yes," Reverend Morris sighed, too under the spell of arousal to care.Jenna sighed in pleasure, steadily lowering herself onto her husband's cock. The unseen one pushed his finger a little bit further inside her tight anal passage. Jenna let out a surprised squeak of pleasure and wiggled her hips until he was fully embedded inside of her, .his finger and her husband's cock now filling her sweet holes.Reverend Morris moaned as he intensified his strokes, plunging his cock in and out of her cunt. Jenna cried out in delight at this and then the unseen one's finger pressed deeper still and suddenly she was coming again. Her clenching walls coupled with an invisible finger embedded in her arse created a tightness around Reverend Morris' cock beyond anything he thought possible and with the first compression of her orgasm around his cock, a low whine escaped his throat and he came, filling her with his seed.The unknown entity carefully withdrew his finger from Jenna's arse. There was no time for her to catch her breath.She murmured, as her husband moved away, stroking his softening cock. Suddenly, something slid up her arse, thrusting gently to begin with. She was surprised that it didn't hurt at all. She'd never experienced anal before but had read it could be extremely painful. And without lube, well that didn't bear thinking about!"Ahha, ha, who are you, what are you?" Jenna panted.The invisible presence shot a massive load of cum deep inside her arse and she closed her eyes tight. He pulled out, and Jenna panted, sweat running off her and cum oozing out of both orifices,"Oh," Jenna gasped, flopping forward. A yell of terror from her husband finally brought her to her senses."Oh my God!""What's wrong, Simon?""There! There!" His eyes were wide with fright and he was pointing. "Behind you! Who, what is that? He's got no head!"Jenna looked round. He was dressed in black. A white collar. The unmistakable clothing of a Cromwellian-era preacher. And was completely without a head."A headless ghost has just had anal sex with me," Jenna blinked. "I'm, kind of okay with this. I had a threesome with my vicar husband and a ghost. Is that a holy trinity or an unholy one?"Reverend Morris twitched and fainted."What a shame you can't talk," Jenna said, standing before him. "I wonder who you are? Did I please you? If I did, maybe you could bow?"The headless ghost bowed and vanished."Aww. Well he seemed satisfied." She rushed over to her husband, who was staggering to his feet. "It's alright Simon. He's gone.""I didn't just imagine all that did I?" Reverend Morris groaned, sitting on the bed. "We just, encountered a headless ghost?""Oh he was real alright. He came in my arse!""Are you sure you okay? Did he; it hurt you?""I'm fine! Was a bit of a surprise, but a pleasant one.""Hmm, I think we should say a prayer for that lost soul," Reverend Morris replied. "I wouldn't like to think he'll return later tonight.""Oh I don't think he will," Jenna smiled. "He was just horny and he is satisfied now. He bowed at me before he disappeared.""I guess that explains why those Albanians begged to be transferred to the Travelodge! The travel agent never said anything about this place being haunted. No wonder its half-empty!"LaterIt was around five minutes after midnight. In Room 11, Gordon was tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep. Despite wearing nothing but his vest and y-fronts, he was boiling hot, and sweat was running down his brow."God, this room's like a furnace!" He groaned, throwing the duvet off and switching the bedside lamp on. He staggered over to the radiator. It was as cold as ice."Why's it so hot in here? Hope I'm not coming down with flu or something."Gordon made his way into the bathroom and fumbled around for the light pull cord. Intending to splash his face with cold water, he hurriedly turned the washbasin tap, but instead of water, black powder shot out of it."What the fuck?" He squinted at the stuff. "Looks like soil. A right dump this place is.A curious smoky smell met his nose. There was something familiar about the smell, it reminded him of fireworks. Hearing faint laughter, Gordon looked in the mirror."Bloody hell!"Ahmed and Barry were rudely awakened by a furious banging on the bedroom door."What the?" Barry groaned, getting out of bed. "Who can that be? Almost knocking the door down!""Might be a drunk or a crackhead," Ahmed said. "Don't open the door. They usually get bored and go bother someone else."Barry! Barry! Let me in!" Gordon yelled.Barry opened the door and was almost knocked over as Gordon dashed in."Can I sleep here? I have to sleep in here!""Whoa, whoa, calm down. What's happened?" Barry said."Can I sleep here?" Gordon prattled. The color had drained from his face."There's no spare bed.""Do you think I care about that?" Gordon yelled, grabbing his cousin by the front of his pajamas. "I'll sleep on the floor! I can't go back to that room! Oh my God. I've just had the shock of my life!""Did someone break into your room?" Ahmed asked."Break in? Not much chance of stopping a ghost from breaking in is there? My bloody room is haunted!"To be continued.By Blacksheep for Literotica.

Aww yeah, nerds. It's about to get sloppy! So let the sloppy papis themselves give it to ya audiophile-style. I was gonna write "sonic-style" but then I remembered the hedgehog! Whew! Close one! Tune in this fortnight for topics such as the most divorced energy in 40k, elaborate gooning setups and who's got 'em, and Mad Mek Bubby Gutz, a character name that really tickled Dan's pickle. Also the bois break down the LVO reveals only about 2 weeks late! We got 'em right where we want 'em! https://www.patreon.com/40kBadcast https://40kbadcast.bigcartel.com/ contact@40kbadcast.com

Her Mentula Cōleī BaptismA Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Christmas was fast approaching, and festive events were in full swing at St. Michael's Church."Well not long to go until Jesus' birthday," Reverend Morris smiled as he and Jenna finished putting up their Christmas decorations. "Just two weeks. Which reminds me, there's another very special person's birthday a week before the festive season, ""Oh yes. I'd forgotten!" Jenna replied."Jenna my love, it's your 21st! You can't forget something like that. I want it to be a truly memorable birthday for you. Is there anything in particular you'd really, really like? Please give it some thought. Turning 21 is a milestone.""I will Simon. But I pretty much have everything I've ever wanted already," she smiled, slipping her arms round him.Later, Jenna was engrossed in reading something on her smartphone."Imagine that," she whispered to herself.Noticing her excitement, Reverend Morris became curious."What's grabbed your attention, Jen?"" Mentula Cōleī Baptism," she blurted out, without thinking.Her husband looked confused. "Pardon?""Oh! It's nothing. Just an old fertility rite of the Eastern Orthodox, in some Asian nations! The Japanese call it bukkake. The loose translation of ‘Mentula Cōleī' is ‘cock & balls'. And it follows the Anglican tradition of sprinkling. Er, would you like a cup of tea?”"Sure."Later, when Jenna was having a shower, Reverend Morris picked up his phone. "Bukkake, she said. How does one spell that, then?" He typed into the browser. Boocaka? Bookaki? Bukacay? On the third attempt, the browser's autocorrect suggested the correct term."Oh, so that's how it's spelt. He clicked on a Wikipedia link. "Good God!" He spluttered, as he read all about the act. When he'd finished, he chuckled to himself. "You learn something new every day. The Internet never disappoints, "At the Wednesday Eucharist, Gordon had just finished the recessional hymn. The midweek service always had a lower turnout than the Sunday service, but numbers had been steadily increasing all year."Morning Gordon," Reverend Morris said, appearing at the side of the organ."Oh hello vicar," the organist replied. "Quite full today. I don't know, the news says that Christianity is declining in this country but this church seems to be the exception.""It does, and that pleases me greatly. I can't speak for all churches in England, but knowing that our community here at St. Michael's is thriving, well it lifts my heart. I tend not to pay much attention to the news these days. Too depressing. Difficult times for so many. Strikes, cost of living and all that. Oh and England getting knocked out of the World Cup.""Mmm, yes," Gordon nodded. "Couldn't care less about football. I never watch it. Horse racing is my thing. How's Jenna and Christopher?""Oh they're both fine, actually I need to discuss something important with you, Gordon. Jenna's 21st birthday is next week. I was wondering if you could help me with something?""Certainly, vicar!" He replied, switching off the light above the organ's keyboards. "Happy to help in any way I can.""Okay, but not here. Come to my study right now, please.""Right you are," Gordon said. He didn't even have time to remove his robe and hang it up in the vestry. He was intrigued. The way the vicar was summoning him to the study sounded a bit ominous. He felt like a kid at school being summoned to the headmaster in order to receive a punishment. He meekly followed the vicar down the aisle."Close the door if you please," Reverend Morris said, as he beckoned the organist into the study. Gordon did as he asked, and was surprised to find Josh the curate, Father Aiden, Bishop George and Norman Winstanley the new churchwarden all waiting."Eh, what's all this, vicar?" Gordon exclaimed. "A lads-only party?""Gentlemen," Reverend Morris began. "I've invited you here because you are trusted spiritual mentors; and trusted friends of mine. As servants of God, you all have your own important tasks to perform. Now what I am about to ask you, requires a great deal of trust. As good Christians, I wonder if you'll be able to fulfil this very unique anointing ceremony a parishioner has requested."Father Aiden crossed himself. "I am always ready to do the Lord's work.""Me too," Gordon said. "And if there's free beer included, well that's a bonus!""Well this task concerns Jenna, my wife."The men in the study all fell silent. There was a great deal of shuffling feet and awkward coughs!One week later,"Where are we going, Simon?" Jenna asked, as he got into the car. She assumed they were going to a restaurant."The church. Just a little birthday surprise."When they arrived, Reverend Morris requested that Jenna close her eyes."Absolutely no peeking!" He said as he led her down the aisle."This is so exciting!" Jenna said. "Let me guess, the whole congregation of St. Michael's are going to leap out and yell Happy Birthday, right?""Close, but no cigar!" The vicar replied. "Now, just sit on this stool, "Father Aiden was driving down the high street, on his way to St. Michael's Church. His heart was pounding like crazy."I can't believe I agreed to take part in this," he mumbled to himself. "Lord in heaven, why am I doing this? Haven't I sinned enough already?"He fiddled with the car radio. Most of the stations were planning Christmas songs 24/7 now. Chris's Rea's Driving Home for Christmas started playing. This was the third time today he'd heard this song. Passing a Tesco Express store, Father Aiden decided he needed some Dutch courage before he could partake in the special "celebration" at the church. A cheap bottle of whiskey or gin would suffice. Parking up, he hurried into the store and walked straight into a woman who was loaded up with shopping."I'm so sorry!" He exclaimed, picking up the tube of gift wrap she'd dropped."Aiden?"He froze and looked up. "Róisín?""My God! It is you! I can't believe it!" the red-haired woman gasped."W-what are you doing in this neck of the woods?" Father Aiden said. "Did you leave Liverpool?""Sure did. I've jumped ship. I'm at the Living Earth Free Church now and I'm loving every minute. I've become a vicar, well they call us leaders. It suits me just fine. What about you, are you still with the Catholic Church?"The priest looked awkwardly at her. "Erm, sort of. I've been fighting a conflict with myself these past couple of weeks."Róisín smiled at him. "You think your future lies elsewhere?"He took a deep breath. "Maybe?"She put down her shopping bags and took his hand. "I've never stopped thinking about you, Aiden. I know you broke things off because you couldn't break your celibacy vows, ""Oh but that's the thing. I fled Liverpool and moved to this town, and the first thing I did was to break my celibacy vows, "Róisín's face fell. "Oh, so you've met someone?""Uh, No. It was just a, one-off. But it made me think that I'm just not cut out for a celibate life. And because of that, I can't continue in my current profession.""Well you're too attractive for that."A blush spread across the priest's face. "Would you like to go for a drink?""Thought you'd never ask! Let me dump this stuff in the car and then I'm all yours!""Sorry Jenna," Father Aiden said to himself as he slipped his arm around Róisín and they strolled into the town center. "But I'm sure you'll have fun without me. Thanks for helping me see the light though."Jenna could hear muffled whisperings and several male voices. She wondered what was going to happen next. "Can I look yet?""No not yet," Reverend Morris replied. "Just a sec, " The vicar ushered Gordon, Josh, Bishop George and Norman in front of the altar, where several candles has been lit. "Where's Father Aiden?""Guess he chickened out?" Gordon muttered. "Maybe he's in a confession booth? Ha-ha!""Oh well, fair enough. It was a lot to ask, Okay Jenna, you can open your eyes now!"Jenna opened her eyes, to see the organist, the curate, the Bishop, and the churchwarden all stood round her. Gordon was wearing his best suit and the black robe he wore when playing the organ, andJosh was wearing his cassock and surplice."Oh my. Good evening, boys!" She said. "Are you all here to wish me Happy Birthday?""We certainly are," Gordon grinned, rubbing his crotch. "We're here to give you the most memorable birthday ever, eh chaps? As it's a special one, and you're a very special lass, Jenna!""Aww, you're all so sweet," Jenna replied, still not aware of what was about to happen. "I love being part of this church.""And you've brought so much happiness to it," Reverend Morris said. Now it's time for us to repay your kindness." He nodded at Gordon and the others. "Now don't keep my lovely wife waiting, she's eager to be baptized!""Huh?" Jenna blinked. "Baptized?"Gordon volunteered to go first. He unzipped his trousers and pulled out his cock. "Come on lads, don't be shy, eh?" Seconds later, Josh and Bishop George did the same. Norman hesitated a moment, but finally followed suit and unzipped. Jenna's mouth dropped in amazement as four delicious erect cocks were pointed right at her. She was too stunned to speak, and turned to Reverend Morris, who was standing back from the others, and also wearing church vestments."This is our 21st birthday present to you," the vicar said. "A Mentula Cōleī Baptism." It's been part of early Assyrian Christian marriage ceremonies in Asia, to anoint a young bride's womb, before the couple consummates. The church elders would meet with the couple after the public ceremony vows, to anoint the virgin."Oh, my, God" Jenna gasped. "Simon, how?"The reverend simply put his hands together, as though in prayer. "I asked God for help in getting you the perfect present. He knows everything, you see. I'm just sorry that Father Aiden decided to opt out, and unfortunately the Archbishop of Canterbury was unavailable as he's currently in Ukraine. John Wesley's ghost, well one cannot book a last-minute appointment with the dead, alas. But I hope those of us that are here will satisfy you?"Jenna licked her lips. "Hell yes!" She knelt down before them. "Oh Gordon, I see you've got an organ pipe that needs blowing," she said as she pulled down his trousers and briefs and squeezed his erection. "Let's see if you can hit the right notes.""I always hit the right notes," he chuckled. "Especially when you're playing my instrument, ""Umm. You're an organist who always entertains," she commented as she lowered her mouth over the end of his cock.Jenna sucked on the head, tasting him as she ran her tongue over the sensitive opening, while pumping the shaft with her hand. She took more and more of his hardness into her mouth until she felt him hit the back of her throat. She relaxed and pushed on until she had his whole member in her mouth and she was nuzzling his silvery pubic hair. He groaned as he grabbed the back of her head and thrust into her mouth.Reverend Morris watched in admiration and amazement as his wife expertly sucked the organist's cock. Gordon was quite well-endowed, but that was no challenge to Jenna. Seeing her pleasuring another man like this had got him as hard as a rock. He massaged his erection through his cassock and surplice. Could she cope with more than one man though?Josh was growing impatient, and his cock was desperate for attention. "Fancy trying some younger meat, Jenna? I think you've fully re-tuned the organist's organ.""Don't rush the lass," Gordon sighed. "Wait your turn, lad!""I'm sure you can't wait to taste it," he said as he pushed his throbbing shaft in her face.Jenna didn't hesitate, she removed Gordon's cock and Josh pushed his erection deep into her mouth. He grabbed her head and she began sucking him hard."Oh yeah! Praise the Lord! Oh I'm coming!""So soon?" Gordon chuckled. You younger fellas have no endurance!""Now now, enough of that," Jenna said. Play nice." She unbuttoned her blouse, exposing her pert breasts. "Mmm, give me some cum, Josh!"The sight of her tits pushed the curate over the edge and he erupted, glazing them with his hot seed."So delicious! Thanks so much Josh. What an impressive load. No longer shy I see! Like I said, you'll make one hell of a vicar one day!" Jenna felt an intense tingling sensation of arousal and a moistening in her pussy. The crotch of her panties turned a darker shade of red as her nectar seeped out of her and soaked them. Reaching under her skirt, she began fingering herself."We vicars produce more cum, right?" Reverend Morris chuckled, jacking off in the background."Hell yes.""Organists produce a lot too," Gordon interrupted. "Oh fuck, now I'm coming, Jenna, .oh!"Jets of creamy white cum surged forth through the air from the tip of Gordon's thick "organ pipe." As the first of them struck Jenna's pale skin she could feel the warmth of the virile seed upon her face. More strands of spunk splashed across her cheeks. A jet catching her on the nose quickly dripped down across her lips and chin and filled her nostrils with its tangy odor. Jenna could feel the thick sticky goo mess her red hair. Jizz ran down her forehead in rivulets joining the cum on her nose and cheeks or getting stuck in a gooey mess in her eyelashes. By now her eyes were closing somewhat as she reached her own orgasm. Letting out a mewling moan she came to the plastering of her face with the organist's cum."Cum cantibus in choro. Cum canticis et organo!" Jenna yelled."I should know what that means, but I don't," Gordon panted."It translates as "let the organ thunder, let voice and organ sing."Gordon was smug, knowing that it was his spunk that had made her climax. "Latin is full of cum isn't it? How marvelous!""Wow Jenna, I'm impressed." Bishop George smiled, calmly presenting his cock to her. "You're an expert at playing the pipe organ. But now I have a bishop for you to bash.""Right Reverend, it is an honor to get my hands on your crosier again," Jenna said, pulling his trousers down."Bloody hell, are you wearing ladies' knickers Bish?" Gordon interrupted, noticing the pink panties. "You kinky bugger.""High ranking clergy need to be comfortable under their cassocks!" Bishop George replied. "Ah, Oh my God!" Jenna gently took hold of his shaft with one dainty hand and began to stroke his length. At the same time her lips slipped down to his balls and she began to suck gently upon one of them. When she took the entire orb into her mouth the bishop groaned as he felt her tongue began to tease the tender flesh. He could scarcely believe that this was happening, that the parish vicar's wife was on her knees before him sucking his pastoral staff in the church!Jenna took care to alternate from one of the bishop's plums to another as she stroked up and down his length with one hand. Droplets of precum had begun to escape the tip of his cock and she could feel them dripping down onto her forehead. She began to lick a wavy trail along the underside of his shaft moving her tongue from side to side as she worked her way towards the tip of his prick. When she reached the base of his head she opened her mouth, her tongue still touching his cock-head, and gripping at the base of his shaft she worked her hand down along his length forcing the precum out and straight onto her tongue."Wow," Reverend Morris said. "She's amazing. Taking the Bishop as well!""Blessed, " Bishop George said, closing his eyes and putting his bony hands together. "Jenna, I anoint thee!" He may have been the oldest man of the group, but he produced a tremendous amount of cum. Jenna hurriedly cast off her sticky blouse, just in time to be baptized in Bishop George's holy jizz. she almost wasn't prepared for the huge volume of cum he released, and this was far from over!"Oh dear Lord, Reverend!" She moaned, as the copious dollop of man-juice coated her face, breasts and belly, just about everywhere, mixing with the cum already released by Josh and Gordon. It was so viscous and creamy, fuck! Jenna was in ecstasy! She'd never imagined bukkake would be as good as this, and in the church, well that just made it even better! The candlelight reflected off her glazed breasts. It was all so overwhelming and she came a second time."Ready for some more, little vixen?" Norman the churchwarden said, offering his cock to her. "I'll tell you a Frank Carson joke. So, an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: "Is this some kind of a joke?"Jenna giggled. "This cock of yours is no joke, Norman!" She grabbed it with both hands. "You've been good haven't you? Keeping your hands to yourself?""I kept my promise. I'd like to get my hands on you though. I think you'd better slip out of that skirt. It's already spunked up. Any chance I could squeeze that arse of yours?""I want you to cum all over my arse cheeks, Norman. Think you can manage that?""Is the Pope a Catholic?" Norman replied.Jenna slipped out of her skirt and tossed it on a pew. Now she was wearing nothing except a pair of drenched red panties, and her high-heeled sandals. Her tongue darted out as she licked the churchwarden's cock the way a cat licks up cream. Every inch of his shaft got the hallowed treatment as she expertly fellated him. She rubbed her nose and face against his balls, making him groan with joy."Bet that's more fun than guiding the flock to communion, right?" Gordon said."Not half!" Norman panted.Sensing he was about to come, Jenna removed his cock and turned round. Pulling her panties down, she presented her rear to him and Norman responded, sliding his cock against her welcoming arse cheeks."Alleluia!" Norman yelled. He hot-dogged her for a bit, but then his cock erupted, and thick spunk blasted across her tight buns. The salty goo coated her arse entirely, running down her thighs and dripping onto the church floor. Norman's cock twitched some more, spewing out some final strands of cum across Jenna's lower back."Mmm, that feels so good, Norman! Look at me! I'm covered in cum. This is wonderful! I love this so much! Oh thank you all so much!""Happy 21st Birthday Jenna," all four men said. Gordon walked over, wiped Jenna's face with a tissue and gave her a passionate French kiss. "You're amazing. Thanks for everything you've done for us."Next, Josh did the same. Bishop George kissed her on the lips and both cheeks. "A Holy Trinity Kiss for you," he said. Finally, Norman kissed her, and managed to give her arse a pinch at the same time."The birthday ceremony isn't quite over yet," Reverend Morris said, walking over and helping his wife to her feet. "Gordon, organ music if you please!""Right you are, vicar," the organist smiled, zipping up his trousers and hurrying over to the organ. The vicar nodded at Josh and Norman."Gentlemen. Please move the candles."They did as asked, and before Jenna could say anything, Reverend Morris gathered her up in his arms and laid her on top of the altar. Slowly, he slid off her red panties and handed them to Bishop George.Gordon began playing the great hymn of Charles Wesley, "And Can It Be", Jenna's favorite hymn."And now, allow me to give you my gift, my love!" Reverend Morris said. He spread Jenna's legs apart, fumbled with his surplice and cassock and freed his cock. Without hesitation he slid in and began to thrust inside her. Jenna moaned as her folds spread around her husband's holy rod. Nothing could have prepared her for being fucked on the altar! Following up his initial thrust the vicar began to pound his wife harder and deeper. Josh, Bishop George and Norman stood in front of the altar, holding the candles and singing the hymn.It didn't take long for Jenna to orgasm a third time. The organ sound, the lust-filled faces of the curate, bishop and churchwarden staring at her, her husband's thrusts, it sent her over the edge. As she came her eyes rolled back and her tongue hung limply from one side of her mouth. Reverend Morris grabbed her by the back of her head, his fingers wrapping in her sticky, cum-filled red hair, kissing her lips passionately. She was still cumming when he joined her. With a groan and uttering a quick muffled prayer to the Lord, he came, shooting his sacred seed inside her. While still buried inside her, cum began to overflow out around his cock, dripping on to the white cloth that covered the altar.Reverend Morris withdrew his cock, and spewed the last drops of his cum across Jenna's face. Extending a finger, he coated the tip in his jizz and marked the sign of the cross on Jenna's forehead."Happy Birthday Jenna, my love! I hope your present was all that you hoped it would be?"Jenna was so giddy, exhausted and overwhelmed, she could barely speak. A massive grin spread her face."It was the best birthday present ever! Thanks be to God!"Oh Cum All Ye FaithfulChristmas Eve had arrived, but over at St. Michael's vicarage, Reverend Morris was in a bit of a panic."Oh dear, what terrible timing," he sighed, as he put down his smartphone."What's up?" Jenna asked, handing him a glass of mulled wine. "Is it about tonight's carol service?""Unless I can find an organist willing to step in for Gordon, I'm afraid we'll be forced to have a rather muted carol service, with only the piano!" The vicar sighed.A look of horror spread across Jenna's face. "Oh no, Gordon! Is he okay?""Gordon's fine. It's his cousin Barry, who lives in Yorkshire. He's taken a tumble on some ice and broken his ankle. He's recovering at home, but he lives alone and can't manage by himself over Christmas. His daughter Lisa, lives in Florida. So Gordon has decided to stay with him until after the new year, when Lisa will be flying over.""Aww. That's so kind of him. Nobody should be on their own at Christmas. Let's hope Barry makes a speedy recovery. But the carol service just won't be the same without Gordon playing the organ. He's, taught me a lot, but I'm not up the standard where I can play fluently during a church service yet! The organ is so complicated."In truth, Jenna had spent rather more time playing Gordon's 8 inch organ rather than the church organ. "Simon, I'll gladly play the piano at the service, although you're right, it'll be feeble-sounding by comparison."Reverend Morris sighed. "I really appreciate that, my love. People are expecting a fantastic Christmas service this year, to make up for the two years we lost due to the pandemic. With all the bad news recently, they need cheering up. I've been going on about the carol service for weeks, promoting it online, putting ads in the gazette. I even forked out for an ad on the local radio. You simply can't have Hark the Herald Angels and O Come All Ye Faithful played on anything else but a pipe organ!""Is there nobody else who could take Gordon's place?""Not at such short notice. The service is only seven hours away! I phoned Tom Fishwick who used to play at St. Paul's, but he lives ten miles away and can't drive. He can't get here due to the train strikes. So I tried Sundeep Kapoor over at the Living Earth Free Church, but he's at home suffering from a chest infection, plus his cat has developed ringworm, so he's stressed out about that."Jenna groaned. "What a nightmare.""That just leaves Raymond Wilson, the organist at Oakwood Road Methodist Church. Oakwood had its carol service this morning, so he might be available. But, ""But what? Get on that phone pronto, Simon!""Raymond's notoriously difficult to work with," Reverend Morris replied. "I don't like to speak ill of people, but I'm not that keen on him. He's rude and awkward. A bit of an Ebenezer Scrooge."Gordon used to be a bit like that, before I was able to cheer him up, Jenna smirked to herself. "Oh I see. I wonder why he's like that?""Some people are just like that, and I don't think Raymond's that keen on Christmas anyway.""I don't mind speaking to him," Jenna said. "He doesn't scare me!"The vicar perked up. "Would you? I confess the last time I spoke to him on the phone, I got a tirade of abuse.""Leave it to me," the wily redhead replied, although she wasn't planning to speak to him by phone."I must dash, Jen. I've got to head over to the church hall and drop these foodbank items off, then I'm going to take this shopping round to Mrs. Grimes.""Don't wear yourself out, Simon. Big day tomorrow! Our first Christmas together, and my parents, your parents, Lucy, Debbie and Christopher will be joining us for dinner. It'll be so nice for Christopher to have a big family Christmas.""I always have the Lord's work to do!" Reverend Morris laughed, hurrying out. "Love you. See you later!"Jenna smiled to herself as she looked through the address book. "So this organist is like Scrooge is he?" She said as she found Raymond Wilson's home address. "Well Scrooge was redeemed in the end, after he saw the three ghosts. Oh that reminds me. Home Alone and the Alistair Sim version of A Christmas Carol are on later. Must make sure the TV is set to record them."Raymond Wilson had arrived home after playing the organ at Oakwood's carol service. He poured himself a brandy and slumped in an armchair. A tall skinny man, who looked to be in need of a good meal. He was fifty, but looked a lot older. Years of being hunched over playing the Methodist church's organ had left him with a stoop. In recent years, he'd let his white hair grow long until it was almost on his shoulders."Thank God that's over for another year," he muttered. He reached over to the side table and pressed the flashing button on the answerphone. There were two new messages.Beep"Hi Ray. It's Steve. Brandi and I really hope you can visit us for Christmas dinner tomorrow. Brandi's going to cook this time. I taught her how to use the microwave. See you about half-three. Love you!"Beep"Ray, it's Terry. The kids and I are gonna call round tomorrow morning to exchange presents. Noah's hoping Santa's going to bring him the latest Pokémon game. You did get Pokémon Scarlet didn't you? Oh and Mia has her heart set on that Bluey plush. Remember that? The big ones that they sell at the Asda Shop. Don't get any cheap fake stuff off the market stalls. Those soft toys that the Bulgarian guy with the gold tooth sells? Well they tend to have wraps of cocaine inside them, Okay, bye for now!"Raymond drank his brandy. "Bloody kids," he moaned. His younger brother's children were notoriously spoilt, and never wanted to spend any time with him, unless he had some money or a toy to give.He hadn't much time for his cousin Steve either, or his new wife, an airhead former porn star named Brandi Snaps.Raymond was dozing in his chair when the doorbell rang. "This had better not be another of those damned cold callers, ""Raymond Wilson? Hello!" Jenna smiled. She was wearing a Santa hat. Over a white top she had on a red Christmas jumper, bearing a slogan, "Pull My Cracker!" The tight sweater revealed the curves of her perky C-cup tits quite nicely and got her nearly as much attention as her skirt. The short pleated green skirt was just long enough to tease while leaving a good portion of her smooth white thighs visible. Then completing the look she had on a pair of long white socks that came up to a few inches above her knees and black patent leather shoes."Who are you?""I'm the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Cum, " she grinned. Blimey, he really does resemble Scrooge! She thought."Look I'm not in the mood for carol singers," Raymond muttered. He was about to close the door, but she quickly stopped him."I'm Jenna, wife of Reverend Morris over at St. Michael's. I came here because we really need your help!""Huh?" Raymond blinked, looking her up and down. "You're an improvement on his previous wife. So how can I help?""Please may I come in?" Jenna said. "It's so cold out here and my legs are freezing!""You should wear some tights instead of socks," Raymond replied. "Come in. I suppose you'll want a brew?""Oh no thank you, I won't trouble you," Jenna said, sitting opposite him on the couch. "I came to ask you a favor." She told him the church's predicament, and how they were in desperate need of an organist.Raymond folded his arms. "That's a big ask, Mrs. Morris. I've just done the service at Oakwood. It's bloody hard work you know.""Jenna, please call me Jenna. Look, my husband will pay you well. And I will make it worth your while too." She uncrossed her legs, and noticed him shift around in his armchair."How exactly will you make it worth my while? This sounds like bribery." He was starting to feel uncomfortable. He was pretty sure she wasn't wearing any underwear!"Picture the scene, Raymond. A Christmas carol service that's damp squib. Scores of disappointed people expecting to hear the rousing sound of a pipe organ, and instead having to endure the frail tinkling of a humble upright piano, that is long overdue for retuning. Picture the scene at next Christmas Eve. Nobody turning up at our church after last year's disappointment. I don't think my poor husband could bear the shame, ""Oh where's my small violin?" Raymond sarcastically replied."And I've been a good girl all year long!" Jenna continued. She put on her best pouty face and added a bit of a whine to her voice. That of course was a lie worthy of a politician. Standing up, she walked over and pressed her tight arse straight down at the middle of his lap. Pressing down, she gently ground her backside up against him as her hands came to rest on his knees."What the, Mrs, Jenna, this is hardly appropriate!" Raymond spluttered, but his erection prodded up between the curves of her arse, despite his protestations."I don't do appropriate when times are as desperate as this," Jenna sighed. As she spoke she reached a hand behind her and groped his crotch."Oh my God," Raymond groaned. He fumbled and unzipped his black trousers. Gripping his shaft tenderly, Jenna began to stroke his thick long cock. She could hear him whimper with arousal as she teased him."It's true about organists. They all have such impressive instruments!" She giggled."Uh, could I stand up?" Raymond gasped, and she let him. She helped slide his trousers down, pulling his white boxer briefs down with them. Her eyes lit up when she saw his cock spring up upon being freed from containment. This "organ pipe" was perfectly sufficient to sate her carnal designs."What a big instrument!""This is so wrong." Raymond panted, though his body clearly had other feelings on the subject."It's a necessary sin," Jenna replied. She reached down and cupped his hairy balls with one hand while wrapping her fingers around the base of his cock and bringing her face in close to it. Her seductive eyes looked up into his as she pursed her cherry red lips and kissed the organist's fat cock head.It had been a long time since Raymond had experienced any sexual pleasure, having been divorced for many years. He'd never enjoyed a blowjob half as good as this, however. It was almost more than he could stand. Seeing this stunning twentysomething vicar's wife gobbling on his dick had him on the verge of spewing his load right down her throat. Sensing he was close, Jenna pulled his cock out of her mouth and stood up. Pushing him down onto the couch, she straddled him. Raymond's cock teased past her entrance and deep into her pussy. Once he was inside he began to fuck her hard."Oh God yes, Raymond, give it to me! She was delighted with the stamina of this man. To look at him, you'd think he was a frail chap who could be felled by a faint breeze. Never judge a book by its cover. In his twenties, Raymond had been a notorious bare-knuckle fighter.Jenna's yells sent the organist over the edge. With one last thrust, he groaned out loud as his balls surrendered their gift and his thick jizz spurted out inside her."Umm, oh Raymond! Fill me up, Raymond! Feels so good! Oh my God, I'm coming! Ah!"When they'd both calmed down a little, she pulled up off his cock till it slipped all the way out. She stood up straight and closed her thighs, feeling his spunk oozing out of her. "So, Raymond. Will you play the organ at the carol service at St. Michael's tonight? It starts at 6.30. If you could be there at 6, that would be perfect. I'll be directing the choir.""I'll do it. No problem, I'll be there, no problem." Raymond panted, completely dazed. "Tell, your husband, .I'll, .do it for free, ""Aww, I can't thank you enough, Raymond. You're so sweet." Jenna kissed him. "Goodwill to all men, (that includes women too), now that's the true spirit of Christmas, isn't it? Right, I'd better get going. I'll see you later, at the church!"The Christmas Eve carol service at St. Michael's had a bigger attendance than Reverend Morris could ever have hoped for. The church was so packed, that extra chairs had to be provided. For two brief hours, everyone who attended had a superb time and were able to experience comfort and joy, and it more than made up for the two Christmases that had been ruined by the pandemic. During the interval, mince pies and mulled wine were provided.Raymond Wilson performed his duties as an organist to perfection and literally pulled out all the stops. He was true to his word. The St. Michael's organ was much larger than the one he usually played, but it didn't faze him. Thanks to Jenna, he learned to love Christmas again. Like Scrooge, he became "as good a man as the old city ever knew."God bless us, every one!To be continued.By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

Fellatio Rites for the Ghost of John WesleyA Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Jenna took a deep breath as she approached Oakwood Road Methodist Church."Are you sure you don't want me to come in with you?" Reverend Morris asked.She patted his shoulder. "I'll be fine Simon. You don't need to worry. It's the ghost of John Wesley, not Jack the Ripper. This is exciting! I hope he'll appear!""Right, well, I'll be sat in the car then. I hope you won't be too long. Remember, just turn and run the moment you feel in any way uncomfortable.""Reverend Morris, I think you're scared!""No I'm not! I can't help being concerned for the safety of the woman I love can I? Aren't you a tiny bit nervous?""I'm as cool as spring water," Jenna replied. "I was reading all about John Wesley last night. He was a true gentleman. I'm sure this won't take long."Reverend Morris nodded as he watched his wife enter the church. "Well if anyone can fix this, Jenna can. I don't know what she said to the Archbishop of Canterbury last week, but he changed his mind about the wall plaque faster than the Government does U-turns. I wonder what she said to him? Whatever it was, Justin Welby was impressed!"He reclined in his car seat. "I was so lucky to meet Jenna. Of course, it was God who delivered her to me. That fateful Sunday morning in the vestry, oh."Father Aiden was walking along the street. Many things were on his mind. He had some important decisions to make about his future in the priesthood. Briefly glancing up from his smartphone, his heart jumped as he spotted Jenna entering the Methodist church across the road."Holy Mother, " he muttered. A rush of excitement swept over him as he recalled the intimate encounter he'd enjoyed a few weeks ago. It was that which had spurred him to think about his future. He quickly crossed the road."Hello Father!"The priest almost dropped his phone. Someone was shouting at him from a parked car."Oh, Reverend Morris. Hello there." Damn, no chance of a repeat encounter, he thought. "I've just seen your wife going into the Methodist church.""Yes, I hope she won't be long. I'm just waiting for her.""Are you alright? You look a bit anxious, if you don't mind me saying.""It's a long story, Father. I think you'd better sit down in the passenger seat and I'll tell you. You've not heard about what's been going on in Oakwood Road church have you?"The priest looked confused. "Nope. Tell me more!" He opened the car door and sat down. I could do to unburden myself too.""Okay, well, this might sound a bit weird.""I can handle anything weird," Father Aiden replied."It's about ghosts. As a Catholic, what are your thoughts on them and have you ever seen one?"Father Aiden thought about his answer very carefully. "Hmm. In theory, billions of ghosts potentially exist because billions of human beings have "lost" their bodies through death. Strictly speaking, these disembodied souls are not ghosts because they have never become discernible to any living people. Only those few souls whose presence is seen or felt by others are truly ghosts. And their existence is real.""So you've seen one?""Yes. Two actually. Once in Ireland when I was a child and another when I was based in Liverpool. I was called upon to rid a family's home of a troubled spirit."Reverend Morris looked relieved. "That's good to know.""The Old Testament also has a few ghost stories. The most famous one is in 1 Samuel 28:8--20. Here the inspired writer tells how King Saul met with the ghost of the prophet Samuel." Father Aiden replied. "Have you seen a ghost?""Yes. And not just any ghost, but the ghost of John Wesley! He's haunting the Methodist church. That's why I'm here. Jenna's gone in there to try and help him return to, the other side.""Oh I see, then she must, wait, what?" Father Aiden did a double take."Thanks for coming' along Mrs. Morris," Reverend Ewing said, shaking Jenna's hand. "I know you probably think this whole thing is crazy.""Not at all! And call me Jenna. I'm a true believer. If my husband says that you and he saw John Wesley, then I know it's true. But why does John want to see me of all people?""Your hubby mentioned that your grandma is a Methodist?""Uh yeah. Bit of a tenuous link. Like Sir Henry Barrington-Smythe's horse.""Huh?""Oh, never mind. Figure of speech.""You Brits and your little quirks!" Reverend Ewing laughed. "I'm still getting used to 'em!""You said John usually appears in the vestry?""Uh-huh. Can be anywhere in the church, but he seems to like the vestry best.""Right, well go and wait in there and say a few prayers, and see if he appears. I'm not sure I can do anything, but I'll try my best."Jenna entered the vestry. Everything looked perfectly normal in there. She closed the door and looked around."It always comes back to the vestry," she smiled to herself as she recalled when she first got to know Reverend Morris.Suddenly, the row of gowns on the rail began to swing on their hangers. The temperature dropped, and Jenna rubbed her arms."Are you there, John?" She called out."Yes."She spun round. There was no sign of the spirit. "Hey, come on, show yourself at least. It's no fun talking to the invisible man.""My sincere apologies," John replied, and slowly faded into view. For the first time, Jenna was taken aback. "My God, you really are John Wesley, "He nodded and bowed. "Bless ye, for am so honored you hath come here. If I may be so bold to say, you be a lady of great beauty my dear.""Very kind of you to say, Mr. Wesley." Jenna said. "Why are you back in the land of the living? Aren't you happy in Heaven?""Ah yes," he began. "Happier than mortals can ever imagine. But you see, I feel compelled to return to this realm every All Hallow's Eve. I like to re-visit the places where I worshipped back when I was alive. And it was in this very place where this church now stands that I preached to crowds back in the autumn of 1778.""You've got a lot of places to visit in just one night," Jenna said. "I read all about you. You travelled all over England spreading the Word of the Lord. Plus you went to America, the colonies, when you were younger.""Indeed I did, yes. To my regret, I lingered a little too long here, for I found myself unable to return to the afterlife. The sun had started to rise, heralding All Saint's Day. Thus, I am trapped here in this church until next All Hallow's Eve. Only a tremendous release of positive energy could allow me to return before then.""Oh dear. May I ask why out of all the people in the world, you wanted to see me? What can I do? My gran is a Methodist. Is that the reason?""No Miss Jenna. It was your aura that attracted me. It's very strong. I believe God himself must've embodied you with some sort of innate goodness that allows you to help people.""You're making me sound like some kind of saint! I assure you I'm just a regular human being. I'm not particularly gifted in anything, although I do try to be a good person, "John had a rather dreamy expression on his face. "You remind me so much of Grace Murray, a lady I loved and lost, only you be far prettier than her."It was then that Jenna had an idea. A huge grin spread across her face. She'd read all about John Wesley's life and how unlucky he'd been in love. "A tremendous release of positive energy, you say? I think I know something which may cause that!"John put his hands together. "You do? Pray, do tell, my dear.""You need to experience an orgasm. What could be more positive than that?"He blinked. "I beg your pardon?""Oh you know, " She tried to think of a period-appropriate phrase so he'd understand. "The end act of carnal relations?"He blushed. "Oh. Miss Jenna I be a man of God. I don't see how, "Jenna sank to her knees. "Only one way to find out, John!" She paused. So he's a ghost. I've never pleasured a ghost before. Isn't he composed of just gas? He's quite cute, for someone who died in 1791! I wonder if,She reached out to touch him, and expected her hand to pass right through his body, but it didn't. He jolted at her touch."Don't worry John. I've done this before, many times in fact. It's a great honor to be able to do it to you. I'm sure this will help you."The moment of first contact had arrived. Jenna let one hand gently glide ever so slightly over John's thigh, encased in tight black breeches. Reaching out with the other hand, she ran it over his crotch, feeling an impressive bulge."Oh my! I feel strangely warmed yet again!" John sighed.Jenna fumbled with the buttons on his breeches, being more used to zippers. Something large and splendid lurked within. Either that or he had a Bible stuffed down there. "My God!" she gasped, as the Methodist's member was revealed. The short, slightly-built John Wesley was hung like a horse!"How on earth were you so unlucky in love?" Jenna exclaimed."Mostly the ladies deserted me long before I even reached the bedchamber," he mumbled."Well I'm not deserting you." She wrapped her lips around his cock head and swirled her tongue for a bit before plunging all the way down his shaft. He emitted a deep and low groan.Jenna slowly bobbed her head along his shaft over and over, with her hands grabbing his thighs for support. He moaned in pleasure with each and every stroke of her soft and warm mouth."Oh dear God," he whimpered. "Your mouth. It feels amazing."It was clear that poor John Wesley had never experienced a blowjob before, not in life, nor the afterlife, and Jenna instantly felt very generous to be giving him this incredible gift. His breathing was erratic, and she sensed that he had already reached a point of near-climax, and was doing everything he could to fight it off.Jenna's expert mouth slowly bobbed up and down his shaft. She then paused at the bottom and held his huge shaft completely inside her mouth, all the way to the back of her throat. She reached through his legs, grabbed his arse, and pulled him toward her in an attempt to get him even deeper into her throat."Uh!" he moaned. "I'm not going to last much longer. I fear I shall spend!"Outside the vestry, Reverend Ewing paced back and forth, wondering what the strange groaning noises were all about."The hell is going' on in there?" She said out loud.Jenna slowly slid her mouth back over his shaft and removed him from her mouth. She wore the naughtiest smile, and John could tell she was thoroughly enjoying this as much as he was. She took his cock into her mouth once more and slid her tongue back and forth along the underside of his shaft. He responded with another moan, louder and more urgent than before. She removed him once again from her mouth and looked toward him with a smile. the faint silver light surrounding John was more radiant than before."Are you ready to spend?" She asked, looking up at him from her knees. John was so overwhelmed, he couldn't speak. He simply nodded his head and grunted."Then I want you to come for me," she said. With that, she slid his wet cock back into her mouth. Once again she reached through his legs to grab his arse and pull him toward her, and she began to furiously fuck him with her mouth. He placed his hands on the back of her head and thrust himself into her mouth, over and over, filling the vestry with the wet sound of fellation.Jenna began moaning, and her muffled moans seemed to push John over the edge. With her mouth still filled with his cock, he stopped his thrusting and gave a loud groan. His body tensed and shook, and Jenna did everything she could to swallow his massive load, but it was too much. Some of his thick cum leaked from the corner of her mouth and splashed down the front of her pink top."Ah!" John sighed, his eyes closed in ecstasy. Thoroughly satisfied, he cried out in joy. "Thank you! Thank you so much!"Pleased to have completely drained him, she removed his cock from her mouth. His cum was delicious. Ghost cum tasted just as good as that from a living man.All at once, a pillar of light surrounded John."Ah! I'm free once more! You've freed me Jenna! I can't thank you enough! I can return and be at peace!" He began to rise up into the air. "I hope we shall meet again sometime! Farewell and God bless!"Jenna stood up and wiped her lips. "Godspeed, John! Oh! Just one more thing, next time you visit, can you bring your brother Charles along?"Reverend Ewing was about to knock on the vestry door, when it suddenly opened."Oh! Is everything alright?""Everything's fine. You can reopen your church. John's spirit is at peace once more.""For sure? He's really gone? But how?""I just said a prayer for him. Told him how much his teaching continues to inspire people to this day. That seemed to satisfy him and he just faded away.""Well thank you so much, Jenna," the reverend said, shaking her hand. "I'm so glad it's all over. It was really stressing me out! and I'm so happy that John is at peace in the Lord's kingdom again. Oh, what's that on your clothing?"Jenna looked down and was mortified at the huge globs of cum. "Oh dear. It's, candle wax. I didn't realize it had spilled. I must get going now, Reverend Ewing. Simon is waiting in the car and he'll be getting worried.""Of course. Thank you again, and give my regards to Simon!"When she'd gone, Reverend Ewing looked round the vestry. "Hmm, strange. There are no candles in here."The lecherous church warden meets his match.After peace was restored to Oakwood Road Methodist Church, and the spirit of John Wesley successfully liberated, Jenna and Reverend Morris turned their attentions to this weekend's Remembrance Sunday service. This was always a major event, and the people would be crammed into St. Michael's like sardines."I've finally completed this special sermon," Reverend Morris said, handing Jenna his iPad. "Have a read and tell me what you think. I included your suggestions about the importance of teaching the younger generation about those who died in wars. Also the bit about Winston Churchill being a flawed figure. Good suggestion, that. As human beings we are all flawed in some way.""It looks fantastic. Let me grab a coffee and settle down to enjoy this!""I hope it won't come across as too boring. You know I always get paranoid about my sermons. So many churchgoers dread a long sermon!""Your sermons are always fun and relevant, Simon, You're too hard on yourself."The mild-mannered vicar smiled. "Aww, thanks! Oh and I hope Norman Winstanley behaves himself this weekend. I had to have a quiet word with him during the Wednesday morning service.""The new churchwarden? What's he done wrong?""Well, as you know, he took over from dear old Albert who died last month. He'd previously been at St. John's, but sadly, that church has closed for good and is being demolished. Such a shame. It was a great church back in the day.""Very sad when a church dies. What are they building in its place?" Jenna asked."An Aldi supermarket. Anyways, about Norman. He's sixty-five and a terrible lecher, to put it plainly. Some say he's Sid James and Benny Hill cranked up to eleven. He didn't get nicknamed Carry On Norm for nothing."Jenna was immediately intrigued. How come I've never noticed this guy before? She thought. "Ooh. So he likes to ogle young women does he?""Yes, but not just young! I've seen him staring at the legs of older women too. Last Sunday, I caught him perving at Mrs. Wilcox when she was doing the flower arranging. And she's about eighty! Though I admit, she does have nice legs, for someone er, so mature.""Naughty boy. At least he's not ageist." Jenna said. "He needs to get on OnlyFans."Reverend Morris couldn't help but laugh. "You always try to see the best in everyone! Well just looking is one thing, but Norman has built up a bit of a reputation for being a qualified pincher of bottoms. I won't tolerate that sort of behavior. It's completely unacceptable. I'm surprised he's avoided getting into more trouble, to be honest.""Is he married?""No, widowed. Took early retirement too. Has far too much time on his hands. And we all know that the Devil makes work for idle hands, ""So true," Jenna nodded. "He makes bottoms for idle hands to pinch. "I don't think I've seen Norman. What does he look like?""Well he wears glasses and he's the spitting image of Frank Carson."Jenna blinked. "Who?""Heh, I keep forgetting the age gap between us. Frank was a Northern Irish comedian. He's dead now. My dad was and still is a massive fan of him. He used to go and see him on stage at Blackpool in the 1990s." Reverend Morris looked up a picture of the comedian on his phone and showed it to her."Ok. I'll keep an eye out for Norman this Sunday!""If he tries anything with you, tell me at once!""Oh don't worry. He wouldn't dare," Jenna replied, smirking to herself, an idea already forming in her mind. Naughty Norman. I can't have a churchwarden with wandering hands threatening Simon's church. I'd better get my hands on him before he causes any more trouble!As expected, the Sunday service was very well-attended. Jenna had arrived early, as she wanted to sit in a specific place right in the front pew. She chose to sit on the left side, in front of the organ. She'd chosen this spot because it was semi-hidden, due to a convenient pillar. More importantly, Norman the churchwarden would soon be standing here, just a few feet away, ready to direct people when it was time to take communion. For Remembrance Sunday, Jenna had chosen a smart, but conservative black dress and a silk scarf featuring a poppy pattern. She was wearing two paper poppy badges, and one of them was in a very intimate place."I hope this isn't disrespectful to the war dead," she thought to herself as she crossed her legs. "But it's necessary. This is for the good of the church's reputation. Very helpful that these self-adhesive poppy badges exist now. I just hope it doesn't drop off, "Before long, Norman Winstanley appeared and Jenna recognized him at once. Her husband's Frank Carson description had been spot on. The guy looked just like him. A full head of white hair, glasses and bushy eyebrows. A stocky build, with a beer gut. Norman looked very smart. He was wearing a dark grey suit with white shirt and maroon tie. He had big hairy hands. Jenna wondered if other parts of his body were hairy."Ah, that's him. Mr. Wandering Hands Winstanley," she said to herself. She should've been repulsed by this randy old boomer, like most women her age would be, but as usual, she found herself lusting after him and getting wet."I wonder if he wears y-fronts like Gordon? He looks the type." Of all the different types of underwear she'd seen men of this church wearing, y-fronts and boxer shorts were her favorite.Norman stood in his usual place, ready to direct the lost sheep, as he termed the congregation, to the pews, and then out again, when called for communion. St. Michael's had an efficient system whereby the congregation, one pew at a time, went up for communion, walked in a circle round the church and back to their seat. This system had been introduced during the pandemic, but had proved so successful, it had been kept on.Suddenly, the strains of the organ interrupted the quietness of the church, as Gordon began playing the opening hymn, O God Our Help in Ages Past.Everyone dutifully stood up, and it was then that Jenna caught Norman's eye. She noticed him staring and winked at him. He winked back at her. Immediately, she knew she had his full, undivided attention.Who's that tasty little filly? Norman thought. I haven't seen her before. Mind you, I've only been helping out here a week. Not many young lasses in this church. She's a pretty one. Mmm, I'd like to goose her!Look at him, undressing me with his eyes, Jenna smirked. Oh he's horny all right. I think he needs a lot more than a butt cheek to pinch. I bet his balls are as blue as a Smurf's arse.The hymn finished, and everyone sat down, as Reverend Morris began the usual start of the morning Eucharist."A very blessed welcome to all who have joined us today, for this, our special Remembrance Sunday service. We are gathered here today to reflect on those who gave their lives in the service of this country. At the same time, we reflect on those who are currently enduring the horrors of war. The people of Ukraine, Syria and Afghanistan. Let us pray, "Jenna bowed her head. At the same time, she crossed her legs and slid her dress up, exposing some creamy white thigh. Norman's eyes almost popped out of his head. She was sure she heard him utter a noise, rather like the whinny of a horse. At the same time, Gordon peered over the top of the organ, waiting for his cue to start playing the Gloria in Excelsis. His elevated position afforded him a perfect view of Jenna, when he spotted her sitting right at the front. He assumed she'd chosen to sit there for his benefit."Venus herself," he muttered, gazing at her flawless legs and remembering the last time they'd been wrapped round his body at the vicarage social. He felt his cock starting to throb. "God she makes me feel glad that I was born a man!"A cough brought him to his senses. Josh the curate was desperately trying to attract his attention as discreetly as possible."Oh, sorry!" Gordon whispered, fumbling with his music sheets. He started playing the Gloria.Jenna was getting excited just thinking about flashing her white panties. Her nipples were already erect and hard and she could feel that familiar warm, moist sensation between her legs. Slowly, she slid her dress up higher and uncrossed her legs, doing so in such a way that it was impossible to avoid a panty flash. She looked at Norman and raised an eyebrow. He let out an audible gasp and his face flushed a shade of red that looked as if his blood pressure had reached stroke-inducing levels. Fumbling in his pocket, he grabbed a handkerchief and wiped his face. Jenna noticed how his forehead and upper lip were glistening with sweat.No-Nut November might be a thing, but not in my world, Jenna thought. At this rate, poor Norman will have collapsed before I even get to unzip him. He was looking at her again and she noticed his bulge in his trousers that he tried covering with crossed hands. Communion was rapidly approaching, and in the middle of the offertory hymn, Norman suddenly rushed off to the gents. When he returned a few minutes later, Jenna noticed his flies were unzipped. She wondered whether he'd done this deliberately or forgotten to zip up after having a pee or a wank."So you want to play do you?" Jenna whispered and winked at him.Norman was holding an order of service booklet, and deliberately dropped it. As he squatted down to pick it up, the gap in his unzipped trousers widened, allowing Jenna a glimpse of his underwear. She was thrilled to have a peek at his pale blue y-fronts and the bulge contained within."Very nice!" She mouthed to him and blew a discreet kiss.It was time to take communion, and being sat at the front, Jenna had to go first. Calmly, she rose from the pew and walked past the organ. As she did, the poppy pinned to her dress fell out."Oh dear, she said, and bent down to pick it up. As she did, she ensured her dress rose up, revealing a flash of her panties. However it was Gordon who got the full eyeful. He leant over for a better look, and clumsily knocked a load of music books off the shelf at the side of the organ."Damn and blast it," he muttered, scrambling to pick them up.Jenna took communion and walked round the church and down the side aisle. As she approached her pew, Norman "helpfully" held out his hand to direct her, and she took the opportunity to squeeze past him. As she did, she felt a hand cup her right buttock and give a little pinch."You're a dirty old man, Mr. Winstanley," she said. "Luckily for you, I happen to be a dirty young woman." Quick as a whip, she slid her hand to his crotch and groped his bulge through his unzipped trousers."Ah, oh!" Norman jolted in surprise. Jenna sat down and smiled at him."I want to see more. Do you?"His nostrils flared, and he quickly backed off, squirming with arousal and bewilderment. Jenna wondered if she'd scared him off, but as the organ music resumed and communion ended, she saw him grab the order of service booklet again and hold it sideways against his crotch. Wondering where this would lead, she was ready to play. It was much more fun than her doing all the flashing. She raised her leg and slid a finger across her panties, pulling the material to the side, giving him a peek at her pubic hair.Norman felt like he was going to cum in his underpants, if this continued. His face was red and his breathing was shallow. He wondered just how much longer he could hold on, but hold on he did. This cheeky little filly was unlike any other woman he'd ever encountered. A wiser, less lecherous man would've backed off long ago, in this age of Me Too, mindful that he could be being led into a trap. But Norman was a shameless, seasoned groper and letch, and he wasn't going to back down now. Using the booklet to shield his crotch from other members of the congregation, a swift movement of his left hand freed his cock, and the top of it poked out from his blue underpants.Not looking down at himself, not acknowledging that his erect dick was visible, the churchwarden acted as if everything was normal. Jenna couldn't stop staring at his cock. It was more ram rod than sham rod. She licked her lips and made a gesture to him with a clenched fist moving up and down.What a delicious-looking cock he has! She was practically drooling like a dog in heat, in the same way he was drooling at the sight of her pubic bush. And speaking of which, she hiked up her dress and revealed the front of her panties. Attached to them was another paper poppy.Norman's jaw dropped.At the same time, Gordon craned his neck to peer over the top of the organ again and got a grandstand view of Jenna's poppy."Holy shit!" He spluttered. He quickly sat down on the stool, but not before knocking his books over a second time.Further along the front pew, sat four old ladies all in their nineties, notorious gossips of the church."I say Margaret, I think the organist is drunk. He's not quite himself. He was dreadfully out of time when he played the Gloria!""Well really. It's disgraceful. On Remembrance Sunday of all days. Oh my good gracious, Mavis! Look at that! The churchwarden's flies are undone!"Immediately, the four of them leant forward in unison to get a better look."Heaven's above, you can see his, concern! How shocking! Somebody should tell him!""Maud, it's times like this that I really envy the youth. They have those fancy telephones that take instant photos.""The last time I saw a man in such a state was in 1943, and I'd just turned eighteen. Those American G I blokes, such good times!"Jenna couldn't wait any longer. The service wouldn't end for another ten minutes. Removing the poppy from her panties, she adjusted her dress and rose from the pew. "Join me in the gents," she whispered, and pressed the poppy into Norman's hand. "Lest we forget!"Norman just nodded, stunned. He glanced down at the poppy. My God, what a precious object. He would treasure it forever. Carefully placing it in his shirt pocket, he zipped up his trousers and discreetly made his way to the toilets at the front of the church.The gents toilets were empty, and Jenna made her way past the row of urinals and into the end cubicle. Moments later, she heard the door open and Norman entered. He nervously glanced round."Pist, in here!" Jenna said, ushering him inside. She locked the cubicle door and closed the toilet lid."Who are you?" Norman spluttered. "You're a cunning little vixen! I want to take handfuls of you, you're amazing! You've got me well and truly foxed!""My name is Jenna," she replied. "And you're Norman, yes? Our new churchwarden?"He nodded."If you don't mind," she said looking up at him with lust-filled eyes, "I'd love to suck that hard cock of yours."Norman looked like all his Christmases and birthdays had come at once. "Oh Jenna, I'd love for you to suck me," he sighed. "I'd love to cum in your mouth. I'd love to watch you swallow all of my thick cum!"Jenna sat down on the toilet and unzipped his trousers, then unbuckled his belt. Wanting full, unobstructed access to the churchwarden's member, she pulled his trousers and y-fronts down to his ankles. Norman said nothing, he simply stood there, watching her work her magic. He never once wondered why such a young and attractive woman would want to suck his cock so willingly. It had been years, decades even, since a woman had wanted to pleasure him! He was actually getting a blowjob from a stunning redhead, for free!""What a lovely cock you've got, Norman. I could see how big it was when you gave me that cheeky little glimpse of it in the church service earlier!" She wasn't lying. He did indeed have a nice plump shaft, with big balls, and wiry white pubes."Some men are like fine wine, they get better with age!"Without hesitation, she impaled her mouth on his shaft. Taking him deep while stroking him, licking him, and sucking him. Norman put his hand on the back of Jenna's head.Jenna cupped his balls, feeling them throb and pulsate, she knew precisely when he was about to cum. At the same time, she ran her other hand up under his shirt, feeling his hairy paunch."That tickles!" Norman murmured, sighing and groaning.Back in the church, the service had nearly ended, much to Gordon's relief. He really needed a pee. Thanks to Jenna, he needed a wank too, but there wasn't time. Whilst the vicar was reading out a lot of notices, he had just enough time to pop to the gents, relieve himself and head back to the organ to play the recessional hymn."Mmm," Jenna murmured, her mouth full of cock. Suddenly, Norman heard someone else enter the toilets."Jenna, someone's come in!" He whispered."Mmm," was all she could reply, and continued sucking him.Gordon hurried to a urinal and unzipped his trousers. As he began to pee, a loud groan came from the end cubicle. He ignored it and continued relieving himself. The mystery bloke in the cubicle made several loud grunts. Gordon glanced round. "Bloody hell," he muttered. "That poor sod's got a bad case of constipation."He finished, zipped up, washed his hands and hurried out of the toilets, wondering who the unfortunate man was."Oh, Oh fuck!" Norman groaned, as his climax neared. "Jenna! I'm going to give you a lovely, big creamy surprise!""Give it to me, Norman!" She felt his cock quiver and his balls tightened in her hand and she got her first taste of his cum. Jet after jet of his thick seed squirted from his cock into Jenna's eager mouth. He took out his cock to allow her to swallow his load and, as she was doing so, he stroked it and managed to squirt a few more sticky blasts all over her face."Ah," Norman panted. "That was wonderful Jenna, I enjoyed that more than anything. I hope it was as enjoyable for you as it was for me! Did you like all my cum in that sweet mouth of yours?""Oh I loved that! Your cum tastes so good, Norman!" Jenna lowered her head and planted a kiss on his cock and then on his sweaty, hairy balls. Doing a dreadful attempt at a Northern Irish accent, she added, "It's the way you tell 'em!""Eh?" Norman said."My poor attempt at a Frank Carson impression," she replied. "My husband said you resemble him.""You, you're married?""Yes," Jenna said, standing up. "I'm the vicar's wife."A look of horror appeared on Norman's face. "Oh my God, ""Don't look so worried, Norman." She put her finger to his lips. "Our little secret, yes? Of course, you need to behave yourself from now on. A little birdy told me that you are quite liberal with those wandering hands of yours. No more bum pinching and goosing of any other ladies whilst you're in St. Michael's, is that understood?"He nodded, panic in his eyes."Say it out loud, in God's name. Because God knows everything.""In the name of God, I promise I'll keep my hands to myself," Norman said."That's my Norm," she replied, planting a kiss on his lips. "We'd better get out of here. Other chaps will be coming in. You go first.""R-right. Okay." Norman zipped up his trousers, fastened his belt, composed himself and hurried out of the cubicle. He opened the door and glanced round."There's no-one here. Quick, you dash into the ladies."Jenna ran past him. As she did, she pinched his arse. "Until next time then," she giggled.Norman breathed a sigh of relief and opened the main door that led back into the church. The service had ended and people were starting to file out of the pews. Norman wiped his forehead. His mind was spinning. Not looking where he was going, he almost walked into Gordon, who'd seen him leaving the toilets."Sorry," he muttered."No worries," Gordon replied. "Listen, there's a first aid kit and other medicine in the vestry. I can get you some Dulcolax tablets."Norman looked confused. "What?""No need to be embarrassed. All us older blokes get constipated from time to time. I couldn't help but overhear you in the gents earlier, and you seemed to be in bloody agony with your bowels!"To be continued.By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

A sequel to "Jenna Goes to Church"A Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.  More fun with the ever-horny Jenna and the good chaps of St. Michael's church and beyond!At the Vicarage Social, Jenna meets an ordained Catholic Priest.A full year had passed since Jenna Fox had started attending St Michael's church. During that time, she'd carried out God's work and in the true Christian spirit, brought much happiness to several male members of the church, thus helping them to become better Christians. In her new role as a vicar's wife, she finds there are still many other men of the church in need of guidance,Reverend Simon Morris and his wife Jenna were holding their annual November social at the vicarage. November always seemed such a depressing month, when, after the initial excitement of Guy Fawkes Night, nothing much happened. Christmas was still a little too far away, although the shops had been selling festive stuff since September. It got earlier every year.The usual members of St. Michaels church were in attendance, Gordon Leesmith the church organist and choirmaster, Josh the curate, Bishop George, Yulia et al, plus a few new faces from other churches that Jenna hadn't seen before.Jenna was wearing a low-cut, black velvet dress and a diamond encrusted cross necklace. A couple of times, she caught a tall, serious-looking man in the corner of the room staring at her. He quickly averted his eyes when she looked at him."Wonder who he is?" The chap was clad in black and wearing a clerical collar, so evidently a vicar or priest of some kind. She knew most of the clergy at the local churches, but had never seen this guy before.Gordon was circulating, and on the hunt for a toilet. Beer always went straight to his bladder."Great atmosphere Jenna," he said, winking at her. "You look lovely by the way.""Why thank you," she winked back. "You look rather fine yourself. That navy blue suit, Umm. We need more men in suits. Down with casual dress I say!" The organist still turned her on, despite her offloading him onto Yulia's willing friend Martika. "A shame Martika couldn't attend tonight.""Yes, she's been struck down with flu. Been in bed all week.""Aww." They looked at each other. Gordon's face bore an expression that was pretty much screaming, "I am unbearably horny and really need a fuck right now, I know you're the vicar's wife now but I still fancy you like crazy and miss your lips on my cock, ""Er is there a downstairs loo here?" He said. "There's a queue for the upstairs one and I'm bursting for a pee.""Afraid not. Hard to believe in a house this size I know. There's always the back garden. Plenty of bushes and it's dark." Jenna replied, and tossing him a crumb of hope, added. "I might join you out there later."Gordon's face lit up. "Okay. Thanks!"Jenna scanned the living room. Presently, her husband appeared. "Nice to see so many guests. I didn't think so many would turn up!""I know, It's great!" Jenna couldn't help but notice that there were way more male guests than female ones. "I wonder why that is?" She grinned to herself. "By the way, who's that guy in the corner over there? He looks like he's at a funeral rather than a vicarage social. His face could turn milk sour."Reverend Morris looked. "Oh. That's Father Aiden. He's a Catholic priest. Only been in this neck of the woods for a few weeks. He's taken over at St Gregory's. Prior to that he was based in Liverpool. Huge Irish community there of course, and I believe he was born in Dublin.""Can't get more stereotypically Irish, can he?" The name, the look: Father Aiden had black hair, pale blue eyes and a bone-white complexion. His hairstyle struck Jenna as being somewhat old-fashioned, with sideburns."He'd be good at playing a vampire. Why's he looking so miserable? Is it because he's in a Church of England vicarage?"Reverend Morris laughed. "Ha! No, my love. All denominations are welcome at this vicarage, we've got the Oakwood Road Methodist guys here too and the Living Earth Free Church. From what I've heard, Father Aiden is just a very serious man. It's just how he is. He's probably enjoying himself, even though he looks miserable.""If he's a Catholic priest does that mean, ""Oh yes. Vow of celibacy.""That's the real reason he's miserable then!" Jenna replied."Indeed. Whilst I respect his vows, personally it's something I could never adhere to!""Nope. You like pussy too much, Rev.""Jenna, shush! You're making me blush!""I'm right though.""You know I can never get enough of your pussy," the vicar whispered in her ear. "I must go and mingle, before I get another hard-on."Jenna sensed the moment was right to get to know the mysterious Father Aiden a bit better. The priest was currently being bored to death by an elderly woman from St. Michael's who was lamenting the state of modern Britain.", And like I keep saying, this country went to the dogs long ago. Useless, lying politicians, rising crime, rising cost of living. Unbridled filth peddled on every street corner. I imagine, Father, coming from a big city like Liverpool, this small town must seem like paradise to you. Don't be fooled! County lines are a big problem! And the local park. Would you believe it? It's become a dogging hotspot, "Father Aiden said nothing and just nodded patiently at her. Sensing he needed rescuing, Jenna cut in."Sorry Mrs. Grimes, can I just interrupt and borrow Father Aiden for a minute? I need to discuss something.""Oh be my guest," the pensioner replied. "He's not got a lot to say.""Probably because he couldn't get a word in," Jenna muttered under her breath as Mrs. Grimes shuffled off. "Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Jenna, Reverend Morris' wife. Nice to meet you, Father Aiden." She held out her hand, and he reluctantly shook it."Hello." The priest spoke at last, in a thick Irish accent, his dour expression unchanging."You look rather trapped. Too many people here for your liking?""A little." Father Aiden replied. He looked extremely uncomfortable in Jenna's presence. "I'm still, finding my feet around this area.""I'm sure you'll settle in just fine, Father. Have you tried any of the buffet? My husband's a great cook; he's made some great cakes and, ""Maybe later. I, I would appreciate a cup of tea if possible.""Oh no problem. Why don't you take a seat in the snug? You'll find it more relaxing in there. Less chatter.""Thanks." He skulked off. Jenna took a deep breath. "Blimey, what a cold fish. I'd get better conversation out of a statue. Still, early days. With a little bit of help, he's bound to open up sooner or later." Far from putting her off, Father Aiden's stern exterior only served to fascinate Jenna further. And the fact he was a celibate priest, .hmm. That couldn't possibly be good for him, could it?Moments later, she brought him a cup of tea. "Here you go," she said, putting it on the side table by his chair and taking a seat opposite him."Thanks, Mrs. Morris.""Jenna, please."He twitched. "Jenna.""I've never met a Catholic priest before," Jenna said, and Father Aiden straightened in the chair and braced himself for the usual questions he was always asked, usually concerning vows of celibacy. He swallowed as he noticed how close Jenna was to him.Damn. She looks so much like Róisín, but even prettier. I can't believe this."Well, we're not that rare," he mumbled, sipping his tea."I know very little about the Catholic church," Jenna continued. Nobody in my family is Catholic. Mostly Church of England, and a few Methodists, ""I'm sure your husband can help you with any questions you might have," Father Aiden said, and Jenna wondered if this was his polite way of saying "please leave me in peace."Pretending to be upset, Jenna stood up. "I, I'm sure you're right, Father. I'm sorry for bothering you." She hurried out of the snug.Alone at last, Father Aiden smacked his forehead. "Why does this keep happening to me? Why do I always end up saying the wrong thing?""Definitely a lot of issues with that one," Jenna smirked to herself. A couple of chips on both shoulders methinks. I'm not giving up on the good Father though. Maybe in time, he'll soften a little."Gordon had successfully relieved himself on the rose bushes in the vicarage's back garden. "Ah, that's better. I'm sure those plants needed a good watering," he muttered, zipping up his trousers. Hearing the back door opening, he spun round."Hi there," Jenna smiled. "It's a bit cold out here, Gordon. You'll be getting a chill in your organ pipe.""Umm. I was hoping you might be able to warm it up."Jenna glanced round and took him by the hand. "In that case, come with me, "In the garage, Gordon's face flushed red with lust as Jenna leaned against a car, hiked up her dress and slipped her hand inside her drenched black panties. Her aroused smell met his nose and made his stiff cock throb more than ever. Already his pre-cum was leaking out. The fact that she was now the vicar's wife, was turning him on even more."Oh God, Jenna. You always know what buttons to press," Gordon groaned, as she ran her hand down his crotch, cupping his bulge."Don't you mean which stops to pull out?" She teased, unzipping his trousers. "Your cock is like the Wurlitzer organ in Blackpool Tower. It's always rising.""Ha-ha. That's why it needs you to play it," he chuckled. Jenna ran her hand down the front of his y-fronts. "Ooh, I'm not the only one here who's got damp undies!"Gordon groaned again. Jenna pulled out his cock and squeezed his balls. As she groped his manhood, she realized just how wet with pre-cum it was."Nice and sticky, just how I like it." She knelt down and teasingly licked the head of his cock before putting it in her mouth."Umm yes!" Gordon hissed as the vicar's wife began giving him a good blow. He'd remembered just how brilliantly Jenna was at giving blowjobs. Back during that day in church, she'd given him some superb head.Jenna withdrew and reclined on the bonnet of the car. She rubbed her neatly-trimmed bush of pubic hair and Gordon knew what she wanted him to do. With just one finger at first, the organist began tracing circles around the outside of her wet pussy. Jenna moaned, enjoying the attention, but wanting more. Sensing this, Gordon spread her pussy lips with his finger and pushed inside her, spreading her walls and began to fuck her with it. Then he lowered his head. Very slowly at first, teasing her into a state of desperate pleasure, he tongued her, savoring her juices."Oh Gordon!" Jenna screamed. She began moving her body in time to his motions, trying to get his tongue to go even deeper. Then without warning, Gordon stopped his treatment, as he felt her hand brush against the head of his prick. "Slide your organ pipe in," she purred, knowing he got such a kick from these corny phrases."With pleasure!"Positioning the tip of his dick right up against her wet opening, he slid inside her and was soon thrusting with vigor."Umm, more Gordon! Yes!"He continued pumping her hard and fast, pulling almost all the way out and then slamming his dick all the way back in. He grabbed her hips to steady himself, still fucking her rapidly. Then their coupled bodies convulsed ferociously, and Gordon's pulsating member filled Jenna's snatch with his cum."Here endeth the organ lesson," Jenna said, planting a kiss on his lips.Gordon kissed her back. "Oh thanks Jenna. I enjoyed that immensely.""And you really needed that!" She replied, adjusting her clothing. "It's not good for an organist to have so much cum building up like that, there might be a risk of a ruptured bellows."Gordon zipped up his trousers. "Far worse than trapped wind!"They both laughed. "We'd better get back to the party. I'll go first, okay?"Jenna headed out of the garage. As she walked round the side of the house, she almost walked straight into Father Aiden."Oh!" He recoiled in shock. "Mrs, er, Jenna.""Father Aiden! You made me jump! Don't tell me you're looking for a downstairs toilet too?"He blinked. "Um no. I was, er, I wanted to apologies for earlier. I was very rude. Whatever must you think of me? You being the vicar's wife and all.""I'd say you're a chap who's just finding his way in a new place," Jenna smiled. Even in the dark, his watery blue eyes seemed to be staring right into her soul. "Anyways, apology accepted!" Before he could say another word, she planted a kiss on his cheek. "Would you like another cup of tea, Father?"Father Aiden clutched his chest as though he'd glimpsed Satan himself. A look of horror on his face."What's the matter?" Jenna said, glancing back at him. "My tea isn't that bad is it?"The Priest is caught masturbating"Holy Spirit, come into my heart and show me my sins. Give me a proper spirit of repentance and the grace to make a good confession. Give me your peace that I might not be anxious but rather trust in your abundant mercies."Father Aiden said a prayer to himself. He was anxiously sitting in his confessional, awaiting the arrival of any lost sheep who were in need of his guidance. Here of all places, he needed to be focused on his job as a priest, yet his mind was on other things. Last night, he'd attended a gathering at St. Michael's vicarage. He hadn't really wanted to go, as social events made him uncomfortable, but had gone along to show willing. It had been his first social since he'd left Liverpool.It had all been going well until he'd met the vicar's wife, Jenna. The woman had shocked him to the core. She reminded him so much of Róisín, a twentysomething woman whom he'd developed feelings for back in Liverpool. He'd come perilously close to breaking his celibacy vows with her, they'd kissed passionately a couple of times in the confessional booth, until Father Aiden's nerves and guilt finally got the better of him and he'd pushed her away. Feeling it best to move on before things developed into something more serious, he quit his post and requested to be moved elsewhere. He'd narrowly avoided a scandal.Father Aiden was thirty-five, and had been a priest for eight years now. He recalled his early years, growing up in a small village near Dublin. As rigidly as he'd stuck to his celibacy vows since joining the priesthood, Father Aiden was no virgin. As an eighteen year old, he'd been an altar boy at his local church, and lost his virginity to Sara, a much older married woman who was a member of the congregation. They'd enjoyed passionate romps in the confessional booths, in the vestry, just about everywhere. Sara had a very high sex drive and didn't get any from her dull husband. Then a nightmare situation. Sara had fallen pregnant. Aiden's world had been rocked.In their strict Catholic community, even the thought of getting an abortion was out of the question. Aiden had resigned himself to becoming a young dad, but then just as he was starting to like the idea, fate intervened and Sara suffered a miscarriage. He didn't think it would have affected him so badly, but it did, and he blamed himself. It had been a punishment from God. From that day on, Father Aiden made up his mind to become a priest, much to the delight of his parents.However, much as he tried to bury any sinful urges, Father Aiden struggled. After Róisín, he hoped he wouldn't be attracted to another woman, but now he'd seen Jenna Morris, and been immediately smitten."Dear God, help me not to be so weak in body and mind. I must cast out these sinful thoughts."He was interrupted by the sound of someone entering the confessional."Bless me Father, for I have sinned." A middle-aged man said. "It's been a week since my last confession."Father Aiden composed himself and did his duty as a priest.Jenna grinned as an Amazon delivery van pulled up outside the vicarage."Oh good. It's arrived. That was quick."Reverend Morris was coming down the stairs as she was eagerly opening a parcel."What do you think?" Jenna said, holding up a nun costume."Ooh sexy. That'll turn heads at the church hall's fancy dress party next month! How very naughty and sinful. Better hope that Father Aiden doesn't turn up to that, eh? Might prove a bit too much for him! Talking of which, would you mind calling at St. Gregory's and dropping off that book he wanted to borrow?""No problem," Jenna replied. She picked up the paperback. "The Seeker by S G Maclean. Oh, he's into historical fiction is he? Well good to know he has other interests."Reverend Morris started laughing. "Heh, I don't know how I coped when the curate made that joke to him at the social. I know Josh had had way too much to drink but, dear God, I could've died when he started going on about Catholic priests lusting after choirboys.""What? I must've missed that! It must've been when I was f, er, talking to Gordon.""Yes. Father Aiden didn't see the funny side at all. I don't think Josh will even remember what he said to him. Anyways, I had to apologies!"Jenna couldn't help but snigger. "By the way, who are you going to dress up as for the party?""Haven't decided yet. You once said I looked like Prince Edward, perhaps I should dress as up in Royal robes and get a crown? Anyways, I must get going. I've got a meeting with Bishop George. What a busy week. Christopher's coming round tomorrow.""It's be lovely to see him. If the weather's nice, we can have a day out somewhere. I know how much he loves dinosaurs, why don't we take him to the museum?""Sounds great! Okay, I'll be back around four. Take care my love. Do give Father Aiden my best wishes." The vicar embraced her and they shared a lingering kiss, before he reluctantly tore himself away.Alone in the house, Jenna turned to the nun costume. Just how would Father Aiden react? "That would be a risk worth taking," she said out loud.Father Aiden had retired to his study. Saturdays were always quiet, and he relished this calm period. Reclining in a chair, he closed his eyes,Slowly, he unbuttoned his cassock. Before long he'd unzipped his trousers too. He was alone in the privacy of his study. His dick was now standing fully at attention. With mental images of Jenna Morris filling his head, Father Aiden took it in his hand and stroked it. He started talking out loud, as though reading out an erotic story where Jenna was pleasuring him."She settles to her knees between my thighs, opens my cassock and reaches up to open my trousers."He stopped and moaned."My willing lamb Jenna starts by licking the tip, tasting my precum. It is like silk. She then takes the head into her mouth and sucks it, darting her tongue into the slit. By now, I am rock hard, but still silent. She then takes my entire shaft into her mouth and keeps it there, running her tongue along the bottom. My cock shivers in her mouth; my only reaction. For what she is about to receive, I know she is truly thankful."Father Aiden was furiously pumping his cock up and down. "I gently place my hand on her head, and utter another prayer. My eyes are closed. I am about to come. I can't explain how glorious a moment this is. My lamb is so skilled, and now her sins shall be absolved."He was panting as he felt his orgasm building.Jenna parked the car in the street opposite St. Gregory's. The church was a grand old building, double the size of St. Michael's. The plaque on the railings described the church in eloquent fashion: ", an edifice in the Early English style, consisting of a basidial chancel, nave, transepts, north porch, lady chapel, and an embattled western tower, added in 1894 and containing 8 bells.""Never been in this church before. Oh well, first time for everything." with her usual bold as brass demeanor, she entered the church. "Wow, this is pretty ornate," she remarked. The place appeared deserted. No churchwardens or other staff anywhere. There was no sign of the priest. Jenna walked around the church, nosey-parkering here and there. She waited for a while, wondering if someone might come out of the confessional, but evidently that was empty too. Then she heard a muffled voice coming from a door at the back of the church."She knows I am ready and expects me to moan or yell, but all I do is tense slightly, for there are still other members of the congregation in the church. Then she feels my load in her mouth. She swallows everything, letting the last bit rest on her tongue so she can savor it." Father Aiden continued muttering to himself, in between moans.Jenna put her ear to the door. It was Father Aiden's voice alright, and he sounded like he was talking to someone on the phone. Then a load groan made her take a step back.."What the hell is he doing in there?" She wondered. She was about to knock, but what he said next made her gasp."She continues to suck my cock, a soft and gentle motion, caressing me with her lips and tongue, the feeling of this is indescribable. When she removes her mouth, she kisses the tip of my cock, and I moan, oh dear God, yes, yes!"Jenna squinted and peered through the keyhole. Her eye widened as she witnessed the priest reclined in a chair, masturbating furiously. He had that same miserable expression on his face, but his pale complexion was tinged with a blush, and he was grunting, seconds later he climaxed, shooting his seed into his free hand."Oh wow!" Jenna couldn't believe what she was seeing. "No wonder he was so miserable. Just look how horny the poor man is!" She licked her lips. The priest had an attractive uncut cock and to say it was large was an understatement. Though tempted to walk in and suck it right there, Jenna decided against it. "No. Not yet. I must wait for the right moment. And then I'll finally put a smile on this face."As he recovered from his orgasm, Father Aiden finished with a prayer."God, I thank you for your abundant mercies. No sin of mine is beyond your power to forgive, and your forgiveness has restored my soul to friendship with you. Thank you for never ceasing to love me even when my actions show that I do not love you fully. Thank you for seeking me out as the shepherd seeks the lost sheep."A dull thud outside the door brought him to his senses. Quickly, he wiped the cum of his hand with a tissue and zipped up his trousers. Cautiously opening the door, he looked around. The church was deserted, but there was a vague scent of a familiar perfume in the air, where had he smelt that before? He glanced down. And saw the book. He bent down to pick it up."Holy Mother of God, "Jenna had been here!Beauty and the PriestFriday night presented a perfect opportunity. Jenna's heart was pounding as she made her way to the clergy house where Father Aiden resided. The nun costume was proving to be quite itchy and uncomfortable, seeing as she wasn't wearing anything underneath it. To be expected of cheap Chinese tat purchased on Amazon. Still, the costume would serve its purpose, she hoped.Father Aiden reclined in an armchair as he read a chapter of the book that had been left in the church. Normally, he would be immediately engrossed in the story, but his mind was elsewhere."Did she hear what I was saying? She must've heard something."The thought that the vicar's wife might have overheard what he'd been saying was mortifying. Suddenly, the doorbell rang, jolting him back to reality."Who could that be at this late hour?" The priest mused as he got up. Usually the odd lost sheep called round, mostly Eileen Hattersley, a lonely old widow always in desperate need of a chat and reassurance. Then there was Bernard, a troubled fifty-something man whom Father Aiden suspected was closeted.He opened the front door. What he saw was almost sufficient to make him faint."Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.""Uh, Jenna? What, the, what are you doing here?""Well Father, I would've thought my intentions were rather obvious. Please may I come in?"His stern expression remained the same. He took a deep breath as he ushered her inside. "I know why you've come," he said at last. "You left the book the other day, didn't you? You obviously heard me, in my study.""I did," Jenna replied. "And yes, I heard."His ice-cold calmness slipped a little. "Celibacy, is hard," he murmured, staring at the floor. "I can only apologies for the disgraceful things you heard."Jenna raised her hand and touched his cheek. "But you have nothing to apologies for, Father. "Hearing you saying your erotic thoughts out loud was a huge turn-on. And a relief as well. Nice to know that priests have lustful urges like the rest of us.""Oh dear God Jenna, that's just the problem. I'm having too many of these lustful urges. I'm a poor servant of God. I can't stick to my vows. I'm sinning whilst in church, what is God to do with me?"Jenna thought for a moment. "Your opinion of God is different from mine. I was always taught that because he sent Jesus, who died for us, we do not need to fear eternal punishment for sin. You seem such an unhappy man, Father. Why not be truly honest, as God knows your thoughts anyway. Tell me, what do you truly want?"The sight of her dressed as a nun and giggling in a coquettish manner was sufficient to send blood surging to his manhood. He didn't reply, just put his hands to her face and planted a soft kiss on her lips."Oh Father!" Jenna whispered.The priest recoiled at once. "I-I'm sorry. Please forgive me.""You are forgiven. Now please kiss me again."He gazed at Jenna, moving his head in closer to kiss her on the lips. She pressed up against his body, feeling his hands on the small of her back. He broke it off. Jenna used the opportunity to gently bite the side of his ear, running over his inner ear with her tongue. He stiffened as she moved across his ear, going down until she got to the lobe.Father Aiden moaned, his breath warm on her cheek. His open mouth pressing into it. He didn't respond further. Jenna dislodged herself from his ear, causing him to look up as he moved his head."Come," he said, taking her by the hand and leading her into the sitting room. Jenna liked the way he was taking control like this."Yes, Father."In the middle of the room, he stood facing her."Kneel."She did as he asked. Father Aiden unbuttoned his cassock, revealing a straining bulge in his black trousers."Please, heal me," he whispered.Jenna needed no further encouragement. Putting her hands together in a prayer, she smiled up at him. "For what I am about to receive, may the Lord make me truly thankful." Slowly, she unbuckled his belt and started on his trousers. Father Aiden's huge cock sprang free the moment she unzipped them, and Jenna was surprised that he was commando under there."Are all Catholic priests as well-endowed as you?" She commented as she lowered her mouth over the end of his erection.Father Aiden simply shrugged.Jenna sucked on the head, tasting him as she ran her tongue over the sensitive opening, while pumping the shaft with her hand. She took more and more of his hardness into her mouth until she felt him hit the back of her throat. She relaxed and pushed on until she had his entire holy tool in her mouth and she was nuzzling his pubic hair. He groaned as he grabbed the back of her head and thrust into her mouth. The priest could not believe his eyes as Jenna took him into her mouth. Never would he have dreamt that his dull evening would have ended like this. And yet here this beautiful young woman was sucking on his hardened member. He groaned with pleasure at the sensations of her warm mouth on him. He was afraid to move at first, so he stood still, giving her free reign.Jenna continued to suck and was amazed to see Father Aiden's erection become even thicker and harder under her ministrations. She had never seen anyone so well-endowed, putting even her husband to shame. Her hands pumped the bottom of his shaft up and down as she continued to suck.Without saying anything, Father Aiden beckoned Jenna to stand up. He led her to the armchair and raised the nun costume, above her waist. He let out a sigh as Jenna's unclothed pussy was revealed to him. He liked the fact she was unshaved down there, unlike so many of the women he'd seen in porn videos, waxed and plucked so much that their pubic areas reminded him of supermarket chickens. Father Aiden slid down and began to slowly lick, nibble and suck her clitoris."Oh my God Father, " Jenna exclaimed.Hearing her utter his title like that, emboldened him. He licked and fingered her some more, and could feel her impending climax building, her hips rose up, she arched her back and started to yell."Oh Father; oh, yes!Father Aiden worked his tongue up inside her womanhood, swirling it around. His upper lip brushed her clit and moments later she exploded, squirting on his tongue and face. With a single finger, Father Aiden took some of the juice and marked the sign of the cross on his forehead. Still, he said nothing! After she'd recovered, he stood up and gently helped Jenna to her feet. He looked deeply into her eyes, and brought her lips to his.They kissed passionately, Jenna tasting her own juices on the priest's tongue. Finally, Father Aiden withdrew, and removed his clothes. Jenna did the same, glad to be free of the itchy nun costume."Oh," she smiled, noticing his dark chest hair. She ran a finger through it. Father Aiden took her hands in his and pulled her down to the floor. He reclined on the sheepskin rug. The warmth and light from the wood burning stove played across her body as Jenna straddled the priest and slowly lowered herself onto his erect pole. His thick head slid into her, stretching her to the limit. She paused to get adjusted to the mass of flesh inside of her, then continued to push down, filling herself.Father Aiden groaned with pleasure as he felt himself enter Jenna's tight opening. She kept moving up and down his shaft, each time lowering herself further and further until he was completely buried inside of her. The feeling of his erection deep inside her tight wet opening was incredible. He reached up and caressed her breasts as Jenna rode up and down his throbbing rod.Pressure began to build in Father Aiden's groin as Jenna continued to slide up and down his erection, slick with her juices. Her hot tunnel gripped him like a vice and seeing this beautiful redhead riding him, eyes closed, mouth open gasping with pleasure as he kneaded her breasts was too much for him. He felt the pressure continue to build, then a tightening at the base of his balls until he felt like he was about to explode.The waves of pleasure built to a peak until the continuous pummeling pushed Jenna over the edge and her body convulsed as she climaxed a second time. As she writhed in pleasure above him, Father Aiden felt himself explode as he released his load deep into her womb. His cock seemed to spasm forever as he shot spurt after spurt of cum, filling her until he was completely drained. Jenna collapsed on top of him, also completely spent.When Jenna opened her eyes, Father Aiden was staring right back at her, and he was smiling. A truly lovely smile.To be continued.By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

It hasn't been Halloween for months but your blood will run cold when the episode unexpectedly jump scares into spooky chat although now that I have spoiled this for you, you'll be all tense waiting for scares and won't have any fun. Aww man I really pooched it dude I'm sorry. Let's hit the gym and talk about Seattle's HIMSA instead.

In this episode we talk about Housework. Aww man, I'm just not a fan of housework. Let's just get through it and then we can relax. 00:00 - Intro 01:59 - Howl Outs 07:04 - One Million Plays 08:33 - We Just Got Done Watching Housework 18:14 - Did We Learn Anything Today? 19:31 - Parting Thoughts Thank you so much for listening. Connect with us and let us know what you think of the show! Get Dinner with the Heelers merch! At TeePublic you can get shirts (and all sorts of other cool things) with Dinner with the Heelers artwork. Grab yours today! Get ad-free episodes on Spotify with a paid subscription for only $0.99 a month: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/bluey-podcast/subscribe Not listening on Spotify? Get ad-free episodes in almost any podcast app via Patreon (powered by Acast) for only $1 a month: https://open.acast.com/public/patreon/fanSubscribe/11201857 Check out this video about how our podcast is made: TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theblueypodcast/video/7370492256005950766 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/reel/C7NKLQhAIUv/ A huge thank you to Ryanna Larson (Instagram: @blueyfamilyportraits) for the amazing show cover art. Connect with her on Instagram to commission a portrait for your family! Website: theblueypodcast.com TikTok: @theblueypodcast Twitter: @theblueypodcast Instagram: @theblueypodcast Facebook: Dinner with the Heelers Email: blueypodcast@gmail.com

"A side-swipe at oven chips" As we enter the twentieth anniversary year of one of the most seminal short films of all time, it's an opportunity for us to reflect on our own pasts as we explore the The Movie: Yeah No Yeah No DVD, which features among its bonus material the entirety of Red Dwarf VII. It's the most personal trip down memory lane in our Re-Disc-overy series so far, as we not only commentate on the fan films, but also reveal all the behind the scenes details of the haphazard production processes, cringe at our past selves' incompetence, and consider how one simple film-making competition ultimately changed all three of our lives. But that's not all, as there's an awful lot to discuss in the rest of this three disc package too. Join us as we attempt to make amends for our past criticism of someone who really didn't deserve it, reminisce about the time Grant Naylor Productions threatened us with legal action, piece together Chris Barrie's whereabouts during the bits of Series VII he wasn't in, reveal the link between this DVD and the world of gardening, and begin to assemble our complete history of Red Dwarf via the medium of cancelling every single person involved.Show notes Contemporary reviews from Ian and Cappsy The Flymo Garden Vac 2700W Turbo The Movie: Yeah No Yeah No bonus features - the video bits are also on YouTube for convenience They're amazing, and they're machines Early drafts of all the Series VII scripts, plus our original analysis of Identity Within from before the DVD version was made This is what Danny found in his DVD case. Aww.

Room and Bored: Part 3 Deep in the maze. Based on a post by Krosis, in 5 parts. Listen to the ►  Podcast at Steamy Stories.   Dale clipped an errant branch from the hedge, dropped it into the wheelbarrow, and continued further into the maze. With the 8-foot-high hedges, it was difficult to tell where he was on Trish's property, but he figured he'd be able to find his way out, how big could it actually be? He swiped his arm across his forehead. The afternoon sun was beating down, the last gasp of a tenacious Summer as they moved into October. He turned a corner and stopped. There was a clearing there, with a teeny cottage, not much bigger than the tool shed. The door to the cottage was open, and he could see a slim hand dipping between toned legs as their owner lay upon a bed within. "About time! Get in here, Dale!" Trish called as she raised her head to regard him, the older blonde's eyes half-lidded from pleasure. He dropped the branch cutter and strode forward. As he got closer, he could see that she was laying upon a twin bed which barely fit the space available. Her bikini bottoms were off, and the fingers pushing into her vaginal folds were soaked. "Come get your cock wet," she ordered him, keeping an eye on it as it pushed out his shorts. In a flash, his shorts and underwear were off and he dove between her legs. "Ooh!" she grunted as he fell upon her. "Eager beaver! Oh, I guess that's more me, mmm, " She reached forward and stroked his thick 8 incher before directing the head to her wanton pussy. "Umm, " he ummed, and paused. She paused as well. "Hm? What's up?" "I, uh, I've never, " Her face lit up. "You're a virgin? Oh, honey, every boy should have their first with an experienced woman. C'mon, " She slotted the head of his cock between her spread, wet vulva. He had actually thought that he might lose his v-card to another experienced woman, Nancy, but he knew now that that wouldn't happen. As she pulled an inch of his cock inside her he asked, "Is this okay without a condom?" "Oh, bless you, Dale, thinking of the possible consequences, but I'm clean. A boy's first time shouldn't be with one of those nasty prophylactics on his Johnson." With that, she pushed her hips toward him and another inch of his member went inside her. "Oh, damn, that's big," she moaned. "Glad I prepared myself." Trish hadn't mentioned pregnancy. She only had one child, after all, and it seemed that she loved sex, so Dale assumed that she was on the pill or some other method of birth control. He pushed, and another inch went in. "Yes, " she moaned. "C'mon, give me that cock, " She wrapped her long legs around him and pulled him in further. Soon, he was all the way inside her. "Oh wow, I feel so full, I think you're touching my cervix." Dale's cock felt fantastic. He was finally all the way inside a sexy woman, and he was making her feel good! Elated, he pulled back a bit and thrust in again. "Ooh, " Trish cooed. He pulled back a bit more and slowly pushed back in. "Heh, you're making love to me, Dale," she whispered into his ear, "but I need you to fuck me, hmm?" Dale pushed himself up and looked at Trish beneath him, beautiful, sexy, and wanton. He reached down and pulled her bikini top up to her neck, freeing her teardrop tits. Her areolae were wide and pink, with substantial nipples, and he moved to take one into his mouth, making her moan again. Then he pulled his hips back and rammed himself deep into her. "Fuck! Yes, like that, " Trish had definitely felt the tip of his cock smack her cervix that time. It had been slightly uncomfortable, but mixed with the sensation of his pleasurable thickness sliding through her wet pussy, it was pushing her buttons. He withdrew and slammed in again. She was so wet that there was nothing keeping him from moving into a steady rhythm, pummeling her insides as he lost his virginity. Trish was glad that she had sucked him off earlier, or the poor virgin would probably have cum already, she figured. She had chosen correctly with Dale. Her last lover had been just over 6 inches in length, and not quite as thick. Both of them had been larger than her husband, the poor man simply unable to keep up with her demanding libido. Dale had swapped to sucking her other boob. Trish normally kept her bra or bikini top on during sex with her lovers, as she was a bit embarrassed about how her tits had started drooping after giving birth to Helena, but Dale didn't seem to care. Some movement to the side caught her eye, and she saw her 18-year-old daughter peeping in through one of the little cottage's small windows. Helena saw that her mother had noticed, but defiantly stayed put. Trish had a delicious thought. Making sure her voice was loud enough to be heard outside, she said, "Ooh, Dale, you're hammering away at the entrance to my womb, where my daughter Helena came from. You gonna fill me with a nice hot load of your sperm? See if you get lucky and knock me up?" Dale slowed down, shocked. She wasn't on the pill? She moved forward and whispered into his ear, "Don't worry, I got fixed years ago; I just like pretending." Then she lay back and called out again, "C'mon, stud, put your cum deep inside me. See if you got what it takes to make me a momma again." Emboldened, Dale increased his speed, ramming into her even harder than before. "Yeah? You think I can't?" he responded. "I'm gonna, um, make your stomach swell, N--Trish!" His mind was awhirl, had he almost said Nancy's name? She didn't notice. "Yeah! Fucking do it, you sexy young thing! I can feel that sperm rocket of yours knocking at the entrance to my baby chamber." She wrapped her arms around him and tightened her legs. She was actually getting into this, imagining Dale's potent sperm roiling in his testicles, getting ready to rush up and invade her forbidden depths. "Oh God, " he moaned, moving into long strokes, slamming himself deep inside the older woman. He could feel the telltale tingling along his cock as his balls pulled themselves up toward his body. "Yes, yes, sperm me, " Trish moaned. She was so close, Dale slammed into her one last time, hard. "Uh!" "Yes! Fuck!" She felt his cock throb as he held it as deeply as possible inside her, and then felt a warm, wet pressure there. In her mind's eye she could see Dale's semen splashing against her cervix, insistently pushing against the entrance to her womb, and then came herself. "Ah! Oh!" Her cervix, she knew, was now opening to him, sucking some of his sperm into her uterus. "Uh huh huh uh, " she moaned wordlessly. She heard soft gasping from outside the cottage, and knew that her daughter was cumming as well. She could no longer see Helena's face in the window. Dale hadn't noticed, and started to thrust again, instinctively extending his orgasm and spurting more cum deep inside the older woman. "Huh, uh, " Finally, he fell upon her, spent. "You sure you've never done that before?" she asked after a few minutes while she played with his hair. He looked up at her pretty face. "Yeah, first time." "Well, that was really good. I'm looking forward to more of that." She gave him a peck on the lips. "But now you have to get back to work, handyman. However, you've done a great job so far, so you can head home after that load." He gave her a quizzical look. She pointed out the door. "The load of branches in your wheelbarrow." "Oh!" After Dale headed back the way he came, Trish called out. "Come here, Helena." After a few seconds, her sheepish daughter shuffled into the cottage. Trish could see the wet spot in the girl's sweatpants between her legs, and she opened her own legs wide. "Get down here and clean me out, cumslut." "Mom!" "Now!" Whimpering, Helena knelt down on the small bed between her mother's legs. "How do I, ?" "Use that fucking tongue, bitch." "Umm, " The cute strawberry blonde moved her head down between her mother's toned thighs. This close, she could smell the combined scent of Dale's semen and her mother's musky pussy juice. She gave a tentative lick at a dollop of whiteness that was escaping her mother's vagina. She had only had a brief taste of Dale's cum when her mother had shoved it into her mouth after blowing the young man earlier, but it was salty and not bad. She swallowed the cum and started to lick in earnest. "That's it," her mother moaned, "that's a good little cumslut." Helena had already masturbated outside as she heard her mother tell Dale to do his best to impregnate her. That had been so hot! She figured that licking all of his cum out would help keep her from having a brand new sibling. She moved one hand under her sweatpants and back to her own prominent clit, rubbing it as she licked and sucked at her mother's pussy, extracting more of Dale's cum. Finally, she slipped two fingers inside her own vagina and finger banged herself until she came again, gulping down the last of the cum she could find. "Very good, Helena," her mother said as she got to her feet. "You're welcome to watch in the future, but you can't let Dale know. I think you might blow his little mind, knowing the bitch princess is just as much of a cumslut as her mother." Then she pulled her bikini back on and left her daughter there, shaking in pleasure. Day two of Dale's new job. Dale spent the rest of the afternoon in a mushy haze. He'd finally lost his virginity! Not to Nancy, as he'd hoped, but Trish was a sexy Milf as well. He looked forward to his next 'job' with her. That night, he and Nancy played more Dragon Era in the living room. "So, how was your first day helping Trish?" she asked him as their character ran through an abandoned town. "It was fun," Dale said, and winced. He shouldn't have said that, work wasn't supposed to be fun! She sat up. "Fun? What'd you do?" "Err, I mean, have you seen their hedge maze? That was fun. Obviously the work is work," he quickly covered. "Hm."   Sunday, Dale woke up to a text from Trish: *Hey how fast can you get over here?* He looked at the time: 10 AM. His muscles were sore from yesterday's exertions, not only from the hedge trimming, but from hammering his cock into the leggy blonde's hot pussy as he gave her his v-card. He replied back, *Pretty quick, give me a few* *Ok text when you're coming over* "Coffee?" Nancy made her usual offer as she heard him emerge from his basement cave. "Sorry, Trish needs me right now." He typed on his phone and headed to the front door. Nancy watched him leave, suddenly feeling protective, and she wondered if she might also be jealous. Had Trish already jumped him? Had he lost his virginity to her? Was he going over there to pump that deliciously large cock into her skanky cunt? She caught herself and shook her head. She hadn't felt sexy since her period started Thursday night, but it was calming down, and with it, her libido was ramping back up. She had no legitimate claim on Dale, though, if Trish was boffing him, that had nothing to do with her. She sighed and ate her breakfast. Dale got another text message as he left Nancy's house: *Head upstairs second door on the left* Helena let him in, as usual. Today the strawberry blonde was wearing a tank top and short-shorts, showing how she had inherited her long legs from her mother. "Mom's upstairs, I think," she advised him. "Thanks." Dale headed up the dark oak staircase. Once he was out of sight, the young woman pulled out her mother's phone and sent another text: *Undress, put on the blindfold, and turn away from the door* *Ok* She quietly mounted the stairs, following in the attractive young man's wake. Slightly opening the spare bedroom's door to peek in, she saw that he had followed her instructions; he was kneeling on the room's double bed, naked, with his back to her. She stepped in and placed her hand on his shoulder, making him jump a little. Then she made a V with her fingers and swung them around to quickly stab at his eyes, stopping short an inch away. If he hadn't secured the dark blindfold, he would have recoiled from the visible danger to his eyesight, but he hadn't reacted at all. "So, um, " he began. "Shush!" She reached around and grasped his cock, amazed at how long and thick it was. She had seen it while her mother was blowing him the previous day, but now that she was close and it was in her hand, it seemed even bigger. A bit of drool slipped from between her lips and she swept it up with her tongue. She directed him by his shoulders to turn around, and then pushed him back onto the bed before grabbing his cock again to stroke it. She had to taste it. She moved down and licked at the head, her pussy thrilling at this illicit act. She took it into her mouth and gave it a strong suck, making him moan, and then engulfed several inches. Soon, she was bobbing her head and tasting his pre-cum, but she couldn't take all of his cock like her mother had. She worried that he might figure out that she wasn't her mother from her inexperience, so she got up, pulled off her clothes, and then got onto the bed naked. She climbed astride him and rubbed her soaking pussy along the underside of his shaft as Dale just lay there, his mouth slightly open. When she saw his hands move toward her chest, she quickly reacted and pushed them back to the bed, above his head. Her B-cup tits were definitely smaller than her mother's, so he had to keep his hands to himself! By leaning forward to do that, though, the shorter girl had moved her hips forward, and when Dale felt the tip of his cock nestle itself between what he thought were Trish's pussy lips, he thrust his hips up, popping the head inside. "Huh!" she moaned as she felt an insistent, pleasurable pressure inside her. She'd busted her own cherry with a dildo a while back, but had never actually had a real cock inside her. She froze, not knowing what to do, which gave Dale the opportunity to shift his body up the bed a little, causing another inch of him to push further inside her virgin hole. Helena hadn't planned this. She was originally just going to whack him off, or suck him off, to get a fresh load of that delicious cum. Rubbing her pussy on his cock until she came and then making him cum in her mouth had been the revised plan, but now the college student's lengthy member was inside her pussy, if only by a couple of inches. She was desperately trying to make her brain work, to take back control of the situation, when gravity caused her body to slide down his cock another inch, at least, she thought it was gravity, had she done that herself? she wondered. Dale moved his hips down a little and thrust up into her again. This time most of him went in, and Helena moaned, keeping her mouth shut so he wouldn't be able to tell anything from her voice. Her pussy was so full! Her dildo was definitely not as big as him. Her vagina was throbbing as it struggled to accommodate his size, her insides producing additional lubrication to assist. Well, she figured, her revised plan was going to be to use his cock to make her cum, so it was only a slight adjustment to have it inside her when it did that. She just had to make sure to pull off before he came. Her pussy twitched at that thought. This was very dangerous, Dale was breathing heavily. 'Trish's' pussy was tighter than yesterday, maybe due to the change in position, he figured, and it felt incredible. He hoped he'd be able to hold off until she orgasmed at least once. Helena pulled up a bit and then pushed back down, feeling even more of Dale's wonderful cock slipping inside her. She would never be as satisfied with her dildo again, she realized. She did it again, and again, and finally she took him all the way inside. She was practically hyperventilating, feeling the tip of his large cock pressing deeper inside her than anything had ever been before. Dale waited. 'Trish' had taken all of him and seemed to be breathing funny. As her breathing calmed, he began to thrust his hips up at her, causing her to make cute mewling sounds. Helena began to match his movements and felt sparks flare from her clit and G-spot as both were stimulated. She knew at this rate that she wouldn't take long to reach her orgasm, and then she'd pull off and swallow his creamy load. Her mouth was salivating at the thought. Yes, she could feel her orgasm building, like electricity deep inside, powering up as his dynamo speared into her again and again. Her B-cup tits bounced, her nipples shaking up and down, "Umm!" she grunted, and shoved her pussy down on him. With the tip of his cock pressing dangerously against her cervix, she came. "Uh! Nuh!" She shook upon him, her pussy grasping at his glorious member as the orgasm blew through her body. Dale was holding as still as possible, wanting to make sure that 'Trish' had at least one full orgasm before he came himself, he hoped that maybe they could cum together for her second. It had been a close thing, though, and a drop of his sperm-filled semen dribbled from the tip of his cock, smearing itself onto the entrance of the teen girl's vulnerable womb. "Huh, huh, " Still shaking, Helena tried to calm her body down. She had never experienced an orgasm like that before! She'd catch her breath, and then, She hadn't noticed when she'd let go of Dale's arms, and he suddenly wrapped them around her body and shifted his weight so he could flip them over. He was now on top, his turgid member still inside her, and he began to thrust into her hard. No! she screamed in her head. She couldn't call out or he'd know it was her and not her mother, and with her smaller body, she elbowed his arms from around her, and when his hands went for her tits again, she quickly covered them with her own hands. Confused by what 'Trish' was doing, Dale just laid his full weight upon her as he thrust into her again and again, trapping her hands between their bodies and crushing them into her tits. "Uh! Uh!" Helena moaned. At this angle, Dale was smacking her clitoris with every stroke. He was taking her, owning her, but this was supposed to be her taking advantage of him! She could feel another orgasm approaching as the impact of Dale's sizable cock reverberated throughout her pussy. She told herself that she'd have just one more orgasm and then she'd somehow get him off of her. Her mind flashed back to the previous day, when she had watched Dale thrusting between her mother's shapely legs, just as he was now doing to her, as her mother moaned for him to try to impregnate her. That had been so hot, and when Dale had groaned and filled the older woman up with his sperm, Helena had cum hard on her own fingers, her knees giving out and dropping her to the ground, imagining her mother getting knocked up by the handsome teen. She felt Dale speed up, his cock somehow feeling even bigger inside her, she was so close, Dale was fast approaching his own release, and knew 'Trish' liked when he pretended to knock her up, so he leaned in and whispered into Helena's ear, "Here's a baby for you, you hot slut. Uh!" Then he thrust deep inside her and stopped, feeling his orgasm rise from his loins. Upon hearing this, Helena's body went into orgasmic overdrive. "Huh!" Her legs instinctively wrapped around Dale's hips, her body trying to pull him as deep as possible as his orgasm rushed up his shaft and spattered her spasming cervix with baby making sperm. Her primed insides undulated around his throbbing shaft, urging it to fill her teen body with life. "Un uh!" she cried out and bit her lower lip while his sperm assaulted her vulnerable womb. After shooting a good ten spurts of dangerous seed inside 'Trish', Dale pulled out and rolled to the side. He reached for the blindfold, but, even as she shook with after orgasms, Helena had the wherewithal to grab his hand. On tottering legs, she grabbed her clothes and slipped from the room. A minute later, Dale heard his phone chime. He removed the blindfold to read it: *Amazing, lover. Gotta go out, so you head home* He shook his head. Trish was using him for sex, he knew, but he had no complaints. As he got his clothes on, another message came in from her: *Both of us should pretend this never happened okay? Hotter that way* He didn't know why it was hotter that way, but he shrugged, sent back, *Ok* and headed home. In the bathroom, Helena sat on the toilet to let Dale's sizable load drip out of her pussy.   After deleting the texts from her mother's phone and leaving it in the entryway, Helena lay on her bed, still naked. Her period was a little unpredictable, but she knew that this had not been a safe day to take a load of hot sperm, hmm, inside her wet, umm, pussy, Her hand went to her clit and found that it was still engorged, so she started playing with it. Well, that happened, she mused, and it had been the hottest thing she had ever experienced. She grabbed her dildo and easily pushed it inside her well-lubricated pussy. She realized that Dale had stretched her out a bit. Soon she was able to bring herself to another orgasm, remembering Dale grunting and filling her up with his baby batter. She heard the front door open and close, and her mother's voice called out, "Helena! Have you seen my phone--? Oh, never mind, here it is. Forget my head if it wasn't attached." Helena extracted the dildo from her pussy. Seeing all the sperm sticking to it that had somehow remained after she had tried to drip it out earlier, she brought it to her mouth and sucked it clean. She Was a cumslut, she realized, as her mother had said: like mother, like daughter. Later that evening. Sunday evening, Dale was going to play more Dragon Era with Nancy, but then he got another text from Trish asking him to come over. "This late?" Nancy asked, looking at the sun as it started to set outside. "You won't be able to do any yard work." "She might need some indoor work done." Dale much preferred having sex to playing video games, and hanging out with Nancy felt kinda weird now that they weren't being all touchy-friendly. "Hmm." Nancy frowned.   Helena let Dale into the house again. That seemed to be her job in the household. "Oh! Hi, Dale!" He saw her blush. What was with her, all of a sudden? he wondered. She looked uncomfortable. "Mom's upstairs, um, again." "Thanks." Dale mounted the steps and found Trish at the top, wearing a short, sheer robe that showed off her glorious gams. "Hey, Trish." "Dale, thank you for coming so quickly, hm." The curvy blonde frowned at the double entendre. "Come with me." As she went past the room he thought he had fucked her in earlier that day, he paused, pointing with a questioning look. She turned back. "No, that's the guest bedroom, mine's this way." Confused, he continued following. As they entered the master bedroom, Dale looked about. It was grand, with 12-foot ceilings that had carved wood paneling, and a four-poster bed. She noticed him staring. "Work hard in life, and you can earn nice things like this. What were you taking in college, Dale?" "Going for my degree in English," he replied. Her lips turned down. "Oh, well, renting's a thing too. Now, come over here." She let the robe slip off of her shoulders, revealing her gorgeous naked Milf body, and then she lay back on the bed, her legs opening wide. Right to it, Dale thought bemusedly, and removed his own clothes. As he clambered onto the bed, she said, "There will be times when you'll have 'shot your wad' and I won't yet be fully satisfied. Today I'm going to teach you how to pleasure a woman without using your admittedly above average member." She couldn't help but admire that stiff prong as it pointed toward its goal: her rapidly moistening pussy. "Okay, so my tongue?" He moved forward and bent down between her thighs. "Hm, yes, and your fingers. Ah, " Dale had watched enough porn to know what to do, and he started licking between her wet pussy lips. "Yes, a good start, Dale." He moved a bit higher. "Ah, no, that's where I pee from. My clit's higher, though it's probably difficult to find right now, wait until I get going. Yes, dip your tongue right in, mmm, " "Hon, have you seen my cufflinks? Oh." Dale snapped his head up. A tall, slim, brown-haired man in a white dress shirt and dark slacks had just walked into the bedroom from a side door, an unfastened bow tie around his neck. He paused as he regarded the naked couple. "Check the side table," Trish pointed, seemingly unconcerned. "Hey, Dale, right?" The man strode forward, his hand out. Dale scrambled back to his feet, very conscious of how vulnerable he was while unclothed. His penis was dwindling rapidly. "Oh, shit! I forgot to tell him!" Trish put one hand to her mouth. "He thinks he's gonna get the shit beaten out of him." "Oh, Trish." The man looked at his wife, disappointed. She stopped laughing. "I'm sorry, Dale, Stephen is fine with what we're doing. He can't keep up with my sex drive, and he's not a jealous man. Really, you're helping both of us out by keeping me full of your cum." Dale was just standing there, his hands over his junk, processing this new information. "Oh." Stephen stepped forward again, his hand out. "So, " Dale kept one hand over his junk and gamely shook the man's hand with the other. Stephen's grip was strong, and he pulled the young man in close. "Just don't knock her up, okay?" he whispered in Dale's ear. "She's already got frequent flyer miles at the clinic, and one of these days she might just decide to keep one. I'm so done with diapers." He gave Dale a wink and then headed over to the side table's drawer. "Yep, here they are. What would I do without ya, hon?" "Probably get prostate cancer and die horribly," she replied, giving him a pleasant grin. "Ha! Yeah, without you helping me clean it out regularly. Okay, carry on, Dale! Love ya, honey." Then he strode out of the room and closed the door behind him. Dale stared at the door. "Well?" He turned back to Trish, still lying there, her legs wide. He didn't quite know how to feel about both the revelation that her husband approved of what they were doing, and that Trish could actually get pregnant. "Ugh, get over here, Dale, and lay down," she directed him. He did, and she twisted around and climbed astride him in a sixty-nine position, their faces in each other's crotches. "Get licking," she commanded him, and took his half-hard cock into her mouth. Soon, he was back to full size, and was doing a fairly good job of pleasuring her as well, she felt. She pulled her hips forward, slotted the head between her very wet pussy lips, and sank down upon it in the reverse cowgirl position. "Uh, umm, Trish, you said you couldn't get pregnant, right?" Dale asked. "Hmm? Yes, Dale. Ahh, " She had been so wet from the cunnilingus that she was able to take all of his big dong inside her with only minimal trouble. She ground her pelvis into his, stimulating her clit, and that, combined with the insistent pressure on her cervix and how well Dale had pleasured her with his tongue earlier, caused her to cum. "Uh! Oh! Yes, " She calmed down from her orgasm and pulled off. "Uff, why so hesitant, Dale? Do you need me to order you around, like yesterday? Oh shit, do I not turn you on?" She looked stricken. "No! Uh, I mean yes, you turn me on! What we did earlier was totally hot!" She frowned. Oh, right, she didn't want me to mention this morning, he realized. "I mean yesterday, in the maze." "So, ?" She reached forward and stroked his cock. "Err, your husband, Stephen, he said to make sure I didn't knock you up, but you said you couldn't get pregnant, " She laughed and looked toward the door. "Oh, that fucker!" She climbed astride Dale again, this time in the cowgirl position, and rubbed the head of his cock on her clit. "He's just fucking with you." "Is he?" "He is." With that, she lined Dale's cock up again and sank down on it hard, making him gasp. She then leaned forward to whisper into his ear as she started moving upon him. "Either he's telling the truth or I am, so either I can get pregnant or I can't." She felt Dale's cock give a twitch at that conundrum as she rode him. "Either way, Dale, you're gonna put your fucking sperm deep inside this body that I work very hard to keep tight and toned, where they'll either find an egg and fertilize it, or die unfulfilled. Either way, it's not your concern, as I don't want another kid; one self-absorbed child is enough." She was moving faster upon him now. "So, are you gonna give me what I want?" Dale was breathing heavily. "Uhh, yeah, I don't know what I was thinking, " His cock was feeling fantastic now, sliding easily into Trish's depths. "Good boy, now tell me what I wanna hear, " She licked his ear lobe as she moved upon him faster. "Unh, I'm gonna, fill you up with my cum soon." Trish's breathing was faster now too. "Ooh, and then what'll happen, you naughty boy?" "I'm, uhh, gonna knock you up, you sexy mama." "Yes, " she hissed, and took him all the way inside her before rolling her hips. The change in movement caused his pubic hair to rasp along her pussy. "Aww yes, " she moaned as she came again. When Dale felt Trish's possibly fertile pussy grip his cock, he came as well. "Oh! Here comes my baby, slut!" He grabbed her hips and pulled her all the way down upon him. "Oh fuck!" she cried out as she felt Dale's hot cum burst inside her spasming pussy, causing another orgasm to rush through her wanton body. "Ugh! Umm hmm!" In her own room, Helena speared her dildo into her recently de-virginized pussy and grunted as another orgasm washed over her. The house had great ventilation, which allowed her to hear every time her mom had sex in the master bedroom. This time she welcomed the intrusive sounds. Trish lay upon Dale, finally sated. "Very nice, you wanna stay over tonight? Stephen's out until tomorrow afternoon." Dale lay there in a daze, his cock shrinking within the older woman's pussy. "Oh, sure, " He had class the next day, but his stuff was just across the street. Nancy waited for hours for Dale to come back. Once it hit 11 PM, though, she went to bed and cried herself to sleep. Nancy continues the game with Dale. Dale woke to the feeling of something soft rubbing his hard cock. He opened his eyes to find Trish's back to him, with her hand directing his erection between her round ass cheeks. Smiling, he angled himself down, and she moaned as she was able to then stuff the head of his cock inside her very wet pussy. "Aw, I was hoping to get you all the way inside before you woke." She looked back at him over her shoulder with a smile. "Ooh!" Dale had thrust halfway inside the hot older blonde. He pulled back a bit and tried again. On the fourth try, his 8 incher was all the way inside her. "Oh, Jesus, " she moaned, feeling her cervix stretch as the tip of his cock pressed insistently at it. As he started to thrust inside the older woman, he reached around to palm one of her large teardrop tits. His fingers found a prominent nipple and lightly pinched it. "Ah!" she moaned. "Do you like my tits, Dale? They were so amazing before I got pregnant. After I stopped being a fucking milk factory, they got all droopy." "I love 'em," Dale told her as he hefted that prodigious tit. "Maybe after I put a baby in you they'll fill up again." After the confusion last night about Trish's fertility status, no thanks to her husband, he was pretty sure that he couldn't knock her up, but it was a hot fantasy. "MM!" she moaned, and pulled his face around to hers for a kiss. "Yes! Do your best to pump your swimmers deep, fuckboy!" "Yes ma'am!" He thrust up into her faster, spying from the alarm clock that he didn't have a lot of time. "Get up on your hands and knees." She complied, and gasped as she thrust back into her hard. "Oh, you're taking me, Dale, like a bitch in heat! Huhh!" Dale felt Trish's insides grip him as she orgasmed, but he wasn't quite there yet. Hmm, he thought, if I'm taking you,  He wound up and gave her a swat on one asscheek. "Ow! Fuck! Guhh, " she moaned as the pain/pleasure confusion extended her cum. Dale swatted her ass again, and her pussy's constant suckling on his cock finally pushed him over the edge. He reached forward, grabbed her swinging tits, and sunk his teeth lightly into her neck, growling. "Ur! Yes, " she cried out as she felt his member swell inside her, relishing the feel of his young cock plundering her treasures. Then the dam burst, and her cervix was awash with potent teenage cum. She continued to orgasm, shaking as her wanton body accepted his manly tribute. Outside the bedroom door, peeping in through the keyhole, Trish's daughter Helena did her best to hold back her own cries as she came on her fingers.   Dale rushed home, ran downstairs to wash up and grab his textbooks, and then ran back upstairs. "Dale?" He stopped, halfway to the front door. Nancy was sitting at the kitchen bar with a cup of coffee before her. He thought that she looked tired. "Nancy? You okay?" "You didn't come home last night." She looked at him with dark-rimmed eyes. "Oh! Did you wait up? I, it got late and I was tired, so they let me sleep over." "I see, " He put his backpack down and went over to her. "Nancy, I'm really sorry that I didn't let you know ahead of time. I will next time, okay?" He was beside her now, but she was still turned away from him. He put his arms around her and she stiffened for a moment, but then relaxed into him. She calmed her breathing, smelling Dale's scent as he held her. "Okay, thank you, Dale. I worry." He stood back up. "I appreciate that. Okay, gotta catch my bus!" He gave her a quick peck on the cheek, grabbed his backpack, and ran out. She touched her cheek and felt it flush. Dumping Loads at Trish's. The next week went much like the last, with Dale filling Trish up with cum whenever she called him over. He didn't sleep over at her house again, so Nancy was happy to have him home in the evenings, and they continued to play Dragon Era, though still at opposite ends of the couch. Monday, "Okay, Dale, I'm just gonna come out with it, do you want to go see a movie with me this weekend?" Dale glanced up at Melanie as they sat together in the college lunchroom. The platinum blonde was wearing a knee-length skirt and a blouse that showed off her C-cup tits. "Oh! Uhh, sure?" She quirked her mouth. "Wow, you sure know how to make a girl feel wanted." He shrugged. "I'm sorry, this was kinda unexpected. Do you have a movie in mind?" "That new Marvel one? I like superheroes." "Oh, really? Yeah, me too," Dale told her, surprised. "Okay, here's my number, err, do you drive? I don't have a car."   After dinner, Nancy suggested that she and Dale play more Dragon Era. He was enjoying spending time with her, even with their new, safe relationship. She started at the far end of the couch, but then moved closer as they played. "I'm a bit tired," she told him. "Is it okay if I lay down? Just stop playing if I start snoring." "Heh, sure." Then she moved closer and lay her head in his lap. The keyboard was across his knees, so it didn't block her view of the TV. "This okay?" she asked. "Yep," he responded, confused about her sudden change of demeanor. As they played, he felt the heat from her head radiate through his lap and, consequently, his crotch. Slowly, his penis filled with blood. "Oh, so now that we've helped Alain with his personal quest, we can sleep with him?" she asked. "Yeah, let's just head back to camp, " Nancy lifted her head to watch the on-screen seduction, keeping one hand on Dale's upper thigh, dangerously close to his erection. As the computer-generated characters got it on, somewhat comically due to the height difference between the human prince and their Dwarf princess character, he felt her hand squeeze his thigh. "Well, at least someone's getting' laid, " she mumbled. "What was that?" Nancy started, surprised that she had said that out loud. "Um, nothing." She sat up, noticed Dale's erection tenting out his jeans, and became very aware of her situation. "We, uh, should get to bed. School day tomorrow." As she got up, Dale's eyes immediately went to her rounded ass, accentuated by the material of her dark tights. His cock gave a twitch of encouragement. With all the sex he'd been having with Trish, his hormones were often bubbling near the surface. Auburn-haired Nancy was more voluptuous than her neighbor across the street, and Dale had seen her naked when she gave him a blowjob and let him cum in her panties almost a couple weeks previous. She had said that they couldn't do anything like that anymore, though. He really needed to whack off. "Good nite." "Sweet dreams," she called back as she headed upstairs. He shut down his laptop, turned off the lights, and headed downstairs. Once he had his privacy, he dropped his jeans and started to stroke his cock. Pretty soon he was approaching orgasm, and he grabbed the tissue box. Thump, Thump Thump Thump! "Ow!" Dale turned. Nancy was sprawled at the bottom of the basement stairs, holding one ankle and grimacing. To be continued in part 4, by Krosis, for Literotica.

(00:00-15:49) Who loves the show more, Bob Thomas or Coach Schertz? Takes and opinions. Goated or goaded? Jackson finna earn his keep today. The TMA Fan Page is essentially a dating site. Mickey Rooney and Mickey Rourke. Mouth harps. Great fund raiser for the Ollie Hinkle Heart Foundation.(15:58-34:20) Update on the Eagles fan with banned from The Link. Claims of provocation. High-ground always wins in stadium fights. Old tweets surfacing from the boyfriend that are a tough look. What transpired before the video started? Shushers at the cinema. (34:30-42:57) Potato chips and fruit snacks. An update on the Rams money in the city of St. Louis from the Business Journal. You don't know about ROI then, batch. Aww man, we missed national gift card day. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

(00:00-15:49) Who loves the show more, Bob Thomas or Coach Schertz? Takes and opinions. Goated or goaded? Jackson finna earn his keep today. The TMA Fan Page is essentially a dating site. Mickey Rooney and Mickey Rourke. Mouth harps. Great fund raiser for the Ollie Hinkle Heart Foundation. (15:58-34:20) Update on the Eagles fan with banned from The Link. Claims of provocation. High-ground always wins in stadium fights. Old tweets surfacing from the boyfriend that are a tough look. What transpired before the video started? Shushers at the cinema. (34:30-42:57) Potato chips and fruit snacks. An update on the Rams money in the city of St. Louis from the Business Journal. You don't know about ROI then, batch. Aww man, we missed national gift card day. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

“Aww, now I feel bad.” - Knives The Ghost Wardens have defeated the zombie army at Dead Lake, and their mission to retrieve the Mirror of Ever Present Sight takes them onto the dangerous Cloud Road. Characters: Bolt Fist Jiao, master of music sorcery (Bob); Cheerful Fan, who smiles through his sorrow (Brendan); Ebullient Gong Gou, dog devil and fire sorcerer (Frank); Knives Tso, ox devil blade master (Jung Soo); and Sneaky Chao, silent assassin (Ron).

Jake's Double Lifeby  musicankane - listen to the Podcast at Steamy StoriesJake hadn't realized he had chewed the shit out of his pen until the professor called class done for the day. As the students around him packed up he jerked awake from his daze and realized the back of his pen had been chewed to shit. He'd not heard much of what had been taught in computer science today, his mind couldn't get off of Alexis and furthermore the whole situation with GGK.If any of his D&D buddies found out he had the chance to ravage the headmaster of GGK and he didn't pounce on her like a horny wildcat, they'd never let him heard the end of it. Then again if he pointed out Alexis to them they might forgive him. Still he had the offer of every nerdy loser's dream, a gaggle of incredibly out of his league women all eager for him to take them for a spin. And he had turned it down.Glancing at his phone he had no new messages from Alexis or even his gaming buddies. This week was the first real week of classes, so they had no games planned until everyone figured out the grove of what they needed to do for their classes this semester. And he didn't begin to guess what the deal with Alexis was. He assumed that they were still planning on going to the party tonight, but he wasn't exactly sure about that now.His rejection of Niece and/or Galina at the GGK house may automatically mean he was uninvited. Something told him they wouldn't handle getting turned down very well. But then again maybe being the only guy in his right mind to reject their offer may only serve to intrigue them further.He had sent a "good morning" text to Alexis before class, but he still had nothing from her either which was a strange feeling. They'd had sex, so you would think she would hit him back by now. But he didn't know if maybe sending a morning text was too needy or clingy and you were supposed to wait a while before you started doing that. He wasn't sure he had never dated anyone before, and technically he supposed he still hadn't.It was lunch time now and he had a couple of hours to kill before his next class. Rather than stare at his phone he decided to drop his bag back at his room and hit up the cafeteria, figuring that maybe a few chicken strips would distract him from his thoughts for a while.As he rounded the corner in the hallway that led to his door, he stopped short. Leaning against his door was Galina, arms folded under her breasts. She wore a short plaid skirt and a white button up blouse, very deliberately striking the schoolgirl vibe. Her long brown hair was pulled back into a very tight pony tail. And she wore what looked like platform sneakers with no socks.She straightened up as Jake approached, a smile lighting up her face. "Hey Jake." She said pleasantly. Using his name struck him as a surprise, as she had only given him nothing but nick names last night he had wondered if she actually knew his name.He took a deep breath and wondered what this was about. Surely she was here because she wanted something, not just to simply say hi."Hi.....uh...Galina right?" He said trying to confirm he had heard her name right.Her smile widened and she gave him a light nod. "How was class?" She asked, her voice lacking any sort of playful lust like it had last night. Though she'd probably had several drinks by the time he saw her, so maybe sober Galina was a very different Galina.Jake sighed and shook his head, "You know, I'm not really sure. I had......things on my mind."Galina nodded, "Yeah I can see that, you looked really overwhelmed last night." She glanced back towards his closed dorm door. "Wanna have a chat inside?" She asked.Jake raised his eyebrow and glanced back and forth down the hall."Hey, no tricks, I'm not here to play at anything. I swear. I just want to talk." She insisted.Jake glanced at her up and down, "You sure, you look like a Playmate."She smiled, "Aww thanks. I thought it was cute." She spun, "Looks good on me right?""No tricks huh?"Galina sighed, "No, no tricks. Just..." She jerked her head back towards the room. "Let's get out of the hallway please."Jake nodded, he could talk. There would be no harm in talking. He slipped past her and unlocked his room, opening it for her first before following and shutting the door behind him. Galina glanced around with a brief curiosity but didn't make any comments. Instead she took a seat on the edge of his bed and looked up at him.Jake dropped his bag under his desk and leaned against the desk. "Ok so what's up?"Galina leaned forward, "Well first off I wanted to apologize for....overwhelming you last night. We get drinks in us and things get wild at GGK." She said. "I can't imagine what something like that would be like for someone not used to it. You seem like a really nice guy so I figured I should extend an apology on GGK's behalf."Jake shrugged, "I mean it wasn't like it was unpleasant. In a way..." He thought for a moment. "In a way I guess it's flattering right? Like how many guys get to have three dimes trying to seduce them in a single day?" He tried to play it cool, though he said no last night he didn't want to have anyone actively upset with him."Dimes?""Oh you know, perfect tens? Like the hottest of the hottest of babes." He sounded like an moron.Galina smiled, and trailed a finger down her blouse. "You think I'm a ten?"Jake scoffed, "You kidding? You're so damn hot you could boil water just by standing near it. And that is 212 degrees. So yeah, very hot."Galina laughed, "God you ARE a nerd."Jake shrugged, "Yeah, I'm sorry.""No no, don't be it's...." She looked him over, "you know something....it's cute. GGK has guys over all the time, you know the typical frat dudes. Jocks, rich privileged guys, musicians, anyone that a member feels is hot enough. But somehow....you're really refreshing.""But I'm no hunk." Jake confirmed.Galina tilted her head, "Well you aren't a bad looking guy. I think a lot of it comes from attitude and style more than anything else. Those guys all have confidence and a style that makes them hotter on the surface. But those attitudes usually come with an.....arrogance that can ruin the mood.""You don't say, I can't imagine that the types of guys who used to yank my underwear up to my throat in high school aren't actually the best of dudes." Jake scoffed."Well yeah, but image can be a powerful thing. No girl wants to be treated like dirt....at least not outside of roleplaying...But sometimes the image is more important so we tolerate it for the most part. You are different though. You have two things that those guys don't. Personality, and..." Her gaze went to his pants. "Personality.""Am I really that special in that department?" He asked. "I don't understand what has turned you girls suddenly so crazy for me."Galina smirked, "Oh yes you are. Very very special. You make all the other guys I've seen look like children.""Sex is a big part of GGK then?" he asked, worrying about Alexis' membership with the sorority."We like it. It's part of the fun of being young and free to do whatever the hell we want. None of us are dumb, we're sluts sure, but dumb we are not. Niece is a psychology major. I'm in business, we have law students, doctors, all sorts. One thing we don't like at Gamma Gamma Kappa, is a stupid bitch. Hot yes, dumb no." She explained. "We are exclusive for a reason and just because a girl might be pretty doesn't mean she is GGK material. So don't just think our sexual heat for you is just a bunch of dumb sluts."Jake blinked and took a breath, "Well I don't know exactly how I should be taking that then. I suppose that's a relief, but it doesn't mean that I don't have you girls chasing my ass." He sighed and slumped to the ground. "I just don't know what to do with myself now. I was a loser in high school, I was a loser here until you apparently pulled my name out of a hat and got a look in my pants. If I didn't have a decent dick.....""Big, great fabulous, not decent." Galina interrupted."Whatever. If it weren't for that I'd be a laughing stock in GGK.""True." She confirmed. "But that isn't what you have. You have a crazy gift, and you would be even crazier if you didn't USE it dude." She told him, slipping off the bed to kneel before him. "Think about this for a second bro. You can fuck almost anyone at GGK you want. You know how many dudes would kill to be you? You have an opportunity here that you would waste if you don't man up and start fucking some bitches." She told him.She stood up and reached a hand down to him. "Give me your phone."Jake looked up. "Why?""Fuck you that's why, just give me the phone." She demanded.Jake dug into his pocket and handed her the phone. "Password is 6969."She laughed, "Seriously!? And you are hesitant to fuck? You are one strange dude Jake." She quickly tapped away at his phone and then held it out in front of her for a moment, she gave the phone a smile and took a selfie, then tapped on the phone again before handing it back to him. On the screen was Galina's photo attached to her contact information. "That's my number, you change your mind or better yet you come to your senses, and actually wanna exchange a little bodily fluid you hit me up any time." She told him.Jake looked up at her, and his gaze froze up her skirt as he realized she wasn't wearing panties. "Oh you like that?" She teased, reaching down to grab the hem of her skirt, "wanna see more?" She offered. "Say the word and I'll ride you right here and right now."Jake thought about it. She had made some good points. If this was really happening to him. Then he really should pounce on every opportunity. After college he'd be in the real world and there would be no frats trying to get dick pics of him, leading to a well of infinite sex. While it might feel strange to him now, what would he feel like after having some of the hottest women he'd ever seen in his life moaning his name. All reservations would go out the window and honestly, that's what scared him most about it.Jake opened his mouth to say something, but a loud knock on his door jerked him to his feet. "Shit." He hissed startled.Galina stepped back and gave him a look.He went to the door, "Who is it?" He called."The girl of your dreams." Came Niece's voice from the other side.This time Galina muttered, "Aww shit."Jake looked at her wide eyed, "Shit?" He hissed, "Why shit?"Galina rolled her eyes, "She's called dibs on you, she'll be pissed if she sees me here.""What?"Galina waved off his concern and dropped to the floor, crawling under the bed. Jake couldn't believe it, he wasn't even fucking anyone and already this was going tits up quickly.The knock came again and Niece called out, "I have a gift for you Jake, open up."Jake made sure Galina was hidden out of direct sight, yanking his blankets over to cover up the gap under the bed as much as possible. "Yeah I'm coming.""Not yet." Niece called back with a promise.Jake groaned and made his way to the door, opening it casually. Niece stood there wearing a pair of jeans so tight they looked like they were painted directly onto her body, as well as a v-cut plain grey t-shirt that struggled to hold her chest back from roaming eyes. In her hand was a sandwich, untouched and appeared to be a roll with turkey, cheese, lettuce, tomato, and mayo. Which only reminded Jake that he was hungry and had planned for lunch before bumping into Galina."Hey handsome." Niece said with a smile. "I thought you might be SO into studying like the good little boy you are, that you might be hungry. So I brought you a sandwich." She explained, holding out the sandwich towards him.Jake looked at the sandwich then back to her, as he reached for the sandwich she playfully jerked it away. "Or maybe not.""Okay what?" He asked."Well maybe you save this sandwich until after you and I work up a little sweat." Niece offered, using her free hand to tug her T-shirt down a little to show him more of one of her breasts. "What do you say? Work out with me?"Jake gave her a careful considering look. It began to occur to him that eventually he was going to break down. Between Alexis, Niece, Galina, and whomever else still waited in the wings of the GGK frat house, eventually Jake would crack. It was just a matter of when and with whom.He glanced at the sandwich and then back to Niece who cocked and eyebrow as she waited for an answer. "You uh, really wanna come in and have sex then?" He asked her.Niece let out the kind of smile that a lion might give prey that fell into its trap. "You better believe I do. I want to feel your big, hard, monster slide so deep inside me that I'll never feel satisfied with anyone else ever again." Her voice took on a sultry tone that she must have practiced because it send ripples down his spine.Jake cocked his head and snorted, "Last night you said I could do whatever I wanted to you." He countered."Anything you want big man." She confirmed."Give me the sandwich then." He told her firmly.Niece didn't pause, she thrust the sandwich into his hands. Jake hefted the sandwich and nodded.Alright they wanted him to take advantage of them. Fine. But it wasn't going to be on their terms, it was going to be on his. He gave Niece a look and nodded, "Alright come on in." He told her, backing into the room. "Lock the door behind you." He commanded.Niece didn't know what this sudden change in him was about, but it looked like he'd finally caved. And if he wanted to act all tough with her, then that was fine so long as she got that dick. She followed him into the room, shutting the door quickly and locking it behind her. Jake took a bite of the sandwich and nodded, "That's a good sandwich did you make this?"She smirked and shook her head, "Bought it."Jake nodded, "I see. Well you can pick 'em." He said, taking another bite. It was genuinely a good sandwich. When you paid the kind of money most students paid to come here, the least they could do was make sure the cafeteria wasn't dogshit. For the most part the school delivered on the food front.Niece moved closer to him swaying her hips seductively. "So....?" She said with a long draw, her arms coming up to gently slip around Jake's shoulders. She kept just enough space between them to not smash the sandwich between them."So?" He asked, then remembered, "Oh right you wanted to bang." He took another bite of the sandwich. "I thought you wanted to do that at the party tonight." He suggested. "Something about winning over Alexis?"She shook her head, "We've changed that deal. Alexis will be pledged so she's getting what she wants, but now I have to get what I want." A hand slipped from around his shoulder and dropped down to cup his crotch. Her touch made him tremble but he tried hard to not show it. Her palm caressed him, feeling for him. "Oh my, even soft you feel so heavy down here. Let me play with him Jake. I promise you'll love it, I don't wanna wait 'til tonight. Please." Her voice was incredibly sexy, begging for him turned him on more than he thought it would. Plus her palm on him caused a reaction from within that was unavoidable.Jake tried to keep himself calm, level headed, but his will was breaking down around him. He took another bite and realized he was damn near finished with the sandwich. He hadn't realized how much he'd gotten down already, he was running out of time to stall and he was running out of resistance.Fuck it, why resist? He thought. Galina was right and even if Alexis got upset at him for doing this, he still had girls damn near begging him for it. Holy shit he felt like such an asshole for even thinking that. But he was going to feel even worse for doing it, yet at the same time.......how could he not?Niece's hand began rubbing on him harder, she could feel him hardening within his pants and her palm followed the ever growing outline, stroking him as best she could. Her eye met his and she parted her lips just long enough to whisper a single word. "Please?"That was it. That was all he could take. His walls shattered like they'd been made of sand this whole time. Alexis might hate him, but he couldn't anymore. Niece stroking him, Galina hiding under the bed, it was too much to resist. His body was vibrating with need and desire. He popped the final bite of the sandwich into his mouth and gave Niece a nod, "Do your worst."

Aww, nobody wants the "head up the Washington Post" job?  In other news: Trump's potential betrayal of rural supporters through proposed policies on tariffs, immigration, and healthcareTrump's past false claims about COVID-19 and inflationABC News settling a $15 million defamation lawsuit with TrumpMedia's capitulation to Trump and conservative narratives, same as everTrump allies suggesting radical ideas like a potential third-termThe collapse of "The Biden Crime Family" lie AOC loses the House Oversight Committee ranking member raceMore at proleftpod.com.YouTube and Avatar artwork by Fran/Bluegal via Bing.AI.Blue Gal's knitting podcast!  https://www.youtube.com/@flangumOur podcast YouTube Channel:  https://www.youtube.com/@ProfessionalLeftSupport the show:PayPal |  https://paypal.me/proleftpodcastPatreon | https://patreon.com/proleftpodDo you want to send us a holiday card and/or contribution by mail?  We love getting mail!The Professional Left PodcastPO Box 9133 Springfield, IL 62791Best of the Left: Progressive Politics, News, Culture.Expertly-curated by humans, not algorithms or AI, since 2006. 1000s of 5⭐️ reviews!Listen on: Apple Podcasts SpotifySupport the show

In this penultimate episode of The Pod Charles Cinecast, your hosts Jonathan Foster and Fil Freitas are back with a Brucie Bonus, as we see the return of BRUCE WILLS US – the bonus series where we occasionally dip into the films of Bruce Willis. With Christmas nearly here, we'd figure we'd dip into one of Bruno's most magical movies, that would be a sure-fire holiday classic had it been set in December, DISNEY'S THE KID (2000). Bruce Willis plays a self-absorbed 40-year-old image consultant who is mysteriously confronted by the eight-year-old version of himself (Spencer Breslin), and is forced to confront the traumas of his past to become a better man. The film features a nice supporting cast of Emily Mortimer, Lily Tomlin, Chi McBride and Jean Smart. It's a pretty wholesome family film, that shows a really sweet side to Bruce, but there is a bit of a "time travel" twist that if you think about too much, makes absolutely no sense. Also, deep inside the film contains a pretty strong man going through therapy and confronting his inner child theme; something that didn't get much play back in those days. So of course we loved it. So, even though it's not a Christmas movie, we think it has enough magic to play this time of year. Give it a spin, and meet us on the airwaves for one last normal episode... Next Week is the end, and it will be a doozy. "Aww, somebody call the waahmbulance!"For full listings and tickets visit: princecharlescinema.com  If you enjoy the podcast, leave a Rating and Review! It really helps us out! As always, you can follow the Podcast on http://twitter.com/ThePCCPodcast and http://instagram.com/ThePCCPodcast

 Easter at St. Michael's: Part 2Gordon is reunited with an old crush.Based on a post by Blacksheep, in 2 parts. Listen to the ► Podcast at Steamy Stories. The monthly Mother's Union meeting was taking place at Gladys Wilcox's bungalow. There was much to discuss, mainly tomorrow's Easter Sunday service. However the main topic of conversation was the vicar's phallus."He was just standing there, starkers! Swinging, I tell you, swinging. It was like a boa constrictor poking out of a tree. I didn't know where to look!" Mrs. Harris exclaimed."Wish I could've been there," Mrs. Wilcox replied."Really, Gladys!""Well at our age there's not much opportunity for those sorts of thrills is there?" She grinned and glanced at Norman the churchwarden, who said nothing and awkwardly sipped his coffee. Being the only man there, he felt uncomfortable sitting through this, but Mrs. Wilcox had insisted he attend."How come he was naked?" Another woman asked."Said he'd been having a shower, but I know a lie when I see one. If you ask me, him and his wife had been; you know;""Having a quickie?" Mrs. Wilcox replied. Norman almost choked on his coffee, remembering that 21st birthday surprise the vicar had arranged for Jenna in the church, sixteen months ago."Yes, exactly!""You know something, Maureen, I was chatting to Maud Finch, on the bus the other day. Now she lives on Haddock Street, in one of those council houses that overlook the railway line. She tells me that groups of drunk young men are forever going up on that opposite embankment and mooning at passing trains.""Has she made a complaint?""Why on earth would she want to do that?" Mrs. Wilcox spluttered. "I said to her, I'll call round later this week and I'll bring a pair of binoculars!"Over on the other side of town, at 64 Stovepipe Avenue, Gordon Leesmith yawned and sat up in bed. He squinted at the alarm clock. It was ten thirty."Oh Gord, you lazy bugger," he said to himself, stretching his arms. He hadn't intended on having such a long lie-in. Myah had gone to work hours ago. She'd been working Saturdays the past few weeks, covering for Kate, a work colleague who was recovering from major abdominal surgery.Gordon staggered out of bed and scratched his belly as he peered out of the window. The weather seemed reasonable today. The past week had seen some very unsettled conditions, with sunny spells and frequent heavy showers, so typical of British springtime."I'd better get a move on. I promised Myah I'd cook tonight and there's not a bite of food in the house." Gordon didn't relish the prospect of going to the supermarket during the Easter weekend. Every shop was crammed. Besides, he wanted to head to the church and spend an hour practicing on the organ ready for tomorrow's special service. He'd have the church all to himself for once. He relished this temporary period of calm. Easter was always busy for the organist. As well as his full-time job repairing organs, he'd had to play the Wednesday Eucharist, the Maundy Thursday service, yesterday's Good Friday evening service and on Sunday, it was the big one. At least he could rest his fingers on Monday's bank holiday."Can't wait to jet off next month," he muttered, as he hurriedly dressed himself and brewed a cup of tea. He'd booked a week's holiday in Tenerife for himself and Myah. Their first holiday together and they were really looking forward to it. Gordon wasn't one for culture, eco-tourism or trailing round ancient ruins. Sun, sea and all-inclusive hotels were his idea of paradise. Myah had never been to the Canary Islands. He hoped she wouldn't be too bored just lounging on the beach or by the pool all day. He'd booked an adults-only hotel, the four star Golden Vista in Playa de las Americas. It had excellent reviews on TripAdvisor.Meanwhile, at the vicarage;Reverend Morris was in turmoil. "Maureen Harris has got a right mouth on her. Who needs social media when you've got a pensioner who's Britain's answer to Hedda Hopper?""Simon, you're worrying unnecessarily," Jenna said. "You've not done anything wrong. You were in your own home and you didn't know she was there.""Oh, I don't know. I'm the parish vicar and I just accidentally exposed myself in front of an elderly member of my congregation. Can't say I'm too thrilled about that.""Maureen shouldn't have walked in. She was in the wrong. Said she knocked, but when nobody answered, she should've given up and gone.""And I should've locked the front door! I bet she's told everyone at the Mother's Union that she saw me nude!"Jenna shrugged. "So, she saw your cock. I bet many other ladies wish they could've been so lucky!"Gordon parked up on the Tesco Express car park. As expected, the place was heaving with people rushing to get last-minute groceries. Tubs of cut-price garden fence paint were piled up outside the store. As he was looking at these, he heard someone call his name."Gordon? Gordon Leesmith. Is it you?"He spun round in surprise. A tall, slim woman, late sixties at a guess, and with silvery hair cut into a sleek bob, was stood next to him. She was dressed in a long, pale grey coat with fur-lined collar. Underneath, a skirt or dress of some sort, black tights and ankle boots."Uh, hello? Yes, I'm Gordon Leesmith. Who are you?"The woman chuckled. "Oh dear. I really have changed haven't I? You don't remember me, do you?"Gordon blinked as he studied her face carefully, then he let out a gasp."Harriet; Harriet Fairfax?""Guilty!"Gordon was too stunned to speak at first, but he quickly composed himself. After so many years, here was the woman he'd lost his virginity to, way back one summer night in 1985, when he was just eighteen. His former piano teacher!"Oh God! I can't believe it! I; I, it's so wonderful to see you again! I always wondered what happened to you, Harriet. The last time we met was in 1988, when I'd just got my ARCO diploma. After that, you; well, vanished.""That's a long story. Come, let's go and have a coffee. We've both got a lot to catch up on. I'm only here until Tuesday, then I'm flying back home.""You live abroad?""I emigrated to Australia when I got married.""Blimey. I think I need more than a coffee. I know a good place." He took her arm in his and they headed across the road."You certainly have grown in confidence," Harriet smiled. "I always knew you would."At a small pub in the town center, Gordon sipped an overpriced beer and listened intently as Harriet filled him in on her life story. He felt a lump in his throat as she told him of her marriage to Graham, an Australian musician she'd met shortly after Gordon's fateful night in Blackpool Tower."I suppose my head was well and truly turned. I was blinded by love. You have to remember back then in the Eighties, a single woman, mid-thirties and childless, well I was seen as being left on the shelf. Graham seemed the perfect man; and as I was never close to my parents, I figured here was my one chance to have a new start. New country, new job. So we settled in Perth. I started work as a music teacher. Loved it. Work was bliss. Unfortunately, marriage to Graham was anything but.""Was he unfaithful?" Gordon asked."No. I would've preferred it if he was. He was abusive. It's because of him that I have partial hearing in my right ear. The beatings got so bad; he beat me black and blue. Even when I was pregnant."Tears pricked Gordon's eyes. "Bastard. Oh God, Harriet. I'm so sorry. Tell me you managed to leave him?""Didn't need to. He took it upon himself to commit suicide one evening. I came back from work and found him swinging in the garage. August 11th, 1997. What a day to remember, eh? He'd always been a heavy drinker. I found out he'd run up massive debts, got himself fired.""Dear God. How did you cope?""Well friends and neighbors rallied round. I'm lucky. I'm one of those people who makes friends easily. I had a good support network. Besides, I had to stay strong, for the sake of my boys, Daniel and Ryan; only got Ryan now."She paused and Gordon wondered whether he should press her further."Daniel; died. He was twelve. A total sweetheart. You see, he was born with Down's Syndrome. Graham never coped with it. He was the loveliest, most gentle boy. Everyone who met him just adored his sunny nature. He loved animals and music. But Graham ignored him. Ryan came along three years later. He's able-bodied. Actually that's why I'm over here. I've been visiting Ryan. He's thirty now. Works as a concert pianist. I'm so proud of him. He's fiercely independent. Doesn't need me fussing over him, but we're still close. This is the last time I'll be flying here. I can't handle these long haul flights any more, now that I'm almost seventy-four. Never did like flying. He'll be the one flying over to see me next time.""You look amazing," Gordon quickly blurted out, wiping his eyes."Heh, thanks.""I'm so sorry you've had to endure all that, Harriet," Gordon sniffed, placing his hand on hers."Thanks for being a good listener. Hey and I'm a survivor. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?""So; you didn't re-marry?""Nah. After Graham died, I focused on being a mum. I got used to being single. Although ten years ago, I met Ray. He's widowed like me and a few years older. He's a total gentleman, bless him. I can't say he excites me sexually. I hope this doesn't sound too mean; he's a bit boring, but at my age, I'm past all that. It's just nice to have someone who's dependable and kind."Gordon nodded. Looking at Harriet, he thought she still looked very attractive. She'd aged well, despite the heartache she'd gone through. A surge of excitement rushed through him."Anyways Gordon, I've prattled on about myself for too long! Tell me what you've been up to all these years!"Without wanting to bore her, Gordon gave a rundown of his life. From his marriage to Marjorie, to her cheating on him and then divorcing him, to becoming organist and choirmaster at St Michael's church, to meeting Myah. He chose to omit any mention of Jenna, the stunning vicar's wife who he'd bedded countless times before Myah arrived on the scene."She's very attractive," Harriet said as Gordon showed her a photo on his smartphone. "You look so happy together. Do you'll think you'll have children in future?""It's a possibility, given that she's much younger than me. Marjorie was adamant she never wanted children. I respected that. I confess I've never given much thought to becoming a dad. But if Myah does want to become a mum, then I'll be up for it.""About the age gap. It's a large one. Has that presented any problems?""It did at first. Her parents were furious. Some hurtful things were said, but her mother and I eventually came to an understanding. Most people at church have been okay but there were a couple of exceptions. It upset me when my cousin Barry called me a "borderline nonce." He was only joking, but it hurt. She'll be twenty in July. Myah was the one who pursued me, not the other way round;""Perhaps Barry was jealous of you. But yes, that was a crass thing to say. Well Gordon, there's one thing I want to experience before I head back Down Under."His eyes widened. "Really? What's that?""I want to see and hear you play a pipe organ! You showed such skill and talent way back in 1985;" she winked at him and he felt that surge of excitement again."Funnily enough, I was planning to have a practice at church today. Tomorrow's a big day, being Easter Sunday. We've got two choirs singing. Care to join me on a trip to St Michael's? It's only a five minute walk from here."The Mother's Union meeting was drawing to a close, but poor Norman could bear it no longer. Mrs. Wilcox was still questioning Mrs. Harris on a certain part of the vicar's anatomy."Ladies, please excuse me; I really need to; er, relieve myself. Thank you for your company and I'll see you at church tomorrow!""Oh yes, take care Norman!" they replied, oblivious to his embarrassment."That's a fine lodger you've got yourself, Gladys. Now I tend to view men as nothing more than useless articles, but he is a true Christian.""Oh he truly is, Maureen. We have such wonderful times together. He was very easy to train!"At St Michael's church, Gordon gave Harriet a quick tour, before leading her to the organ."This is a beautiful church," she said. "That's one thing I miss about living in Australia. All of the churches there are recent by comparison. There isn't the history. Oh there are some lovely ones, but it's not the same. This one goes back to medieval times. I love old buildings.""Yes, it's a nice church. Good community here too. I get on so well with the vicar. Reverend Morris is a good egg. His sermons are rather tedious, but nobody's perfect, eh?" He sat on the organ stool. "Here she is! What do you think?""She's a beauty, Gordon. Three manuals, and the pipework is incredible. A large organ for such a small church.""Aye, she's a grand old lass. I gave her a complete overhaul in January. Replaced some of the big flue pipes. Now she sounds better than ever." He switched on the lamp above the manuals."Very handy having an organist who can fix organs as well as play them. That's a very specialized job, isn't it?""Pretty much. Right; what would you like me to play?"Harriet removed her thick coat and slid onto the stool next to him."Hmm. It's an overplayed piece of music, but I've always liked The Entertainer. You played that for me when you used to come for lessons, remember?""Ah yes. I remember!"As he began to play, Harriet glanced at her former student, no longer a gauche, skinny teenager but a stocky, fifty-six year old man, with silver hair. He had a paunch, but it suited him. He'd grown into his looks and actually looked better now than when he was eighteen. She ran a finger across her chin, and carefully considered her next move. He truly had become a very gifted organist.Gordon was halfway through playing, when a hand on his thigh made him play a wrong note. He stopped and looked down."Umm;""No-one must find out about this." Harriet whispered."Well Myah's at work; and I don't think Ray can see what we're up to from the other side of the world;" Gordon stammered. He couldn't believe history was repeating itself."An old girl like me can still get all hot and bothered seeing an attractive younger man," she teased. Her thigh was pressing against his and his cock was starting to respond."Uh; Harriet," Gordon mumbled, and once again he was transported back to 1985, and was that shy, awkward teenager again. "I; just want you to know. You were my first major crush. Well; I'd fancied other girls, but you; well you just; did it for me.""I'm so glad to hear you say that, Gordon. You were the only student I ever felt attracted to. Truth is, at the time, I was feeling rather sorry for myself and unattractive. When I found out you had a crush on me, it was an incredible turn-on. To be desired by a much-younger man. I knew the whole time.""Guess I wasn't that good at being discreet," Gordon replied.

Vicar's wife, Jenna, decides to give up sex for Lent!A series in 17 parts, by Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.  The Jenna series started  with ‘Jenna Goes To Church', followed shortly after with ‘Jenna, the Vicar's Wife'. It resumed recently with Jenna's New Year'; and now it continues with a Lentil 2-part story. Other episodes will follow.It was the last Sunday of Shrovetide, known as Quinquagesima. At St. Michael's Church, Reverend Morris had amassed a pile of old palm crosses, intending to burn them on Ash Wednesday."Shouldn't be long before the first members of the faithful arrive," he said to his wife Jenna, who was adjusting the flowers at the side of the pulpit."Oh before I forget, I've got something for you to burn on Ash Wednesday," she smiled, handing him a pair of her panties."This is an unusual-looking palm cross!" He replied. "I think I'd better burn this separately from the others! Is there some reason why you want your undies reduced to ash?""Well Simon, I've been thinking. And I've finally decided what I'm going to give up for Lent.""You're giving up wearing underwear?""Ha-ha. Tempting, but no. I'm giving up sex."Reverend Morris almost dropped the box full of crosses. "What? Sex? No, you can't be serious!"Jenna nodded. "I'm 100% serious, my love. Lent is supposed to be hard, and you're always going on about how part of being a good Christian is making sacrifices and so on. It's traditionally a time of fasting and abstaining from something to repent and focus our hearts and minds on the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.""Yes, but within reason, Jen! I don't expect you to suffer hardship as bad as that!""I can do it, Simon. I'm committed to seeing it through. It's only forty days.""B-but, that's six weeks!" the vicar whined, looking as if his entire world was about to end. "I, I'm not sure I can, er, go without for so long!""Now Simon, you're a man of God. You're stronger than most. I know you can do this. And just think how wonderful it will be when Easter comes, everything in calf, bursting out in spring glory, sap rising, mating seasons beginning, shoots thrusting upwards, days getting longer, ""Vicars dying of horniness, " Reverend Morris sighed."Exactly. And it won't just be you going without. The other chaps of this church will have to go without as well!""Oh my goodness, Jenna. There's going to be a lot of frustration building up in this church! When you say no sex, does that mean, ""No physical contact whatsoever, my dearest! No blowjobs, no kissing, no cock in cunt, nada! Just like social distancing."Reverend Morris' lip was trembling. "Not even a kiss?""Nope. I'll be sleeping in the spare bedroom until Easter. I can blow you a kiss. And whilst we can't do anything involving physical contact, there are other naughty ways we can get through Lent.""Like what?""Use your imagination, Simon!"He thought for a moment. "So I'll have to make do with dating Rosie Palms until Easter?""If it helps you cope, yes!"The reverend took a deep breath. "You're absolutely right, Jenna. I can get through this. I admire you so much for deciding to have a sex ban. In fact, I think I love you even more, and I didn't think that possible!""Aww. Ditto." She kissed him. "We'll make the most of Shrove Tuesday," she added, with a wink. "I'm going to do some creative things with pancakes."He slipped his arms around her. "Remember that morning after the Candlemas service, when we got soaking wet in the rain and we just ravished each other once we got back to the vicarage?""Hee hee, yes. Or that time last month during that short holiday in Lincolnshire when we stayed in that weird hotel, and the ghost gatecrashed our passion?""Bit early in the morning for that, isn't it? Then again, I'm not complaining!" A voice shouted, and they both looked round. Gordon the organist had just arrived.Moments later, Josh the curate appeared."Morning guys!" Jenna smiled. She turned back to her husband. "You'd better get your robes on. Looks like some of the congregation are here already. I'll go and hand out some hymn books."He nodded and headed off to the vestry. "Forty days," he sighed. "God, .I will really need your help through this difficult time!"And just how were some of the other male members of St. Michael's Church going to cope for forty days without any 'spiritual guidance' from the vicar's wife?Shrove Tuesday (the eve of Lent)On Shrove Tuesday, Jenna spent all afternoon mixing pancake batter. It would've been quicker to buy some ready-made pancakes from Tesco, but where was the fun in that? She looked at the kitchen wall clock."Come on Simon, you're late. How long does a meeting with the Bishop take?"Her husband had been out all day. At last, she heard his car pull up on the drive."Good. Now the fun begins."The front door opened and Reverend Morris came rushing in. "Sorry I've been so long. Bishop George kept prattling on for ages and then coming back home there's been a road accident so I had to take the long way home, oh I see you've been busy!" He noticed his wife was completely naked except for an apron."Welcome home," she smirked. "It's time to flip some pancakes. Is my randy reverend able to provide some batter?"He licked his lips. "What sort of batter would you be requiring?""Hmm, let's see. That special 'anointing oil' you used during my 21st birthday?" She whirled a frying pan in her hand and flipped a pancake. "Here's one I prepared earlier."His hands found her shoulders, and turned her to face him. His hands moved up to cup her face and Jenna felt his lips close around hers in a tender kiss. She returned it with rising passion, slipping her tongue into his mouth. As their tongues danced, Jenna quickly unfastened her apron, letting it slide down over her smooth skin to the kitchen floor.She could hear Reverend Morris unfastening his own garments, and when he embraced her tightly, she felt his bare skin press against hers with delicious warmth. Her husband's mouth left her lips, trailing down her neck to her chest. He took a nipple in his mouth and teased the erect tip. It was perhaps the upcoming sex ban enhancing his senses, but Jenna's breasts had never felt so full, and had never tasted so sweet. His hands roamed down over her arse, savoring her curves.Reverend Morris moved back up her body, his lips playing over her breasts, then back up her neck. Jenna's hands slid down his chest and at last reached their goal. She gripped his throbbing member, took a few steps backward, pulling gently but firmly, and he promptly followed her. She felt the edge of the kitchen countertop meet her lower back, and she swiftly heaved herself on to the cool granite surface and lay back, spreading her legs.Reverend Morris had a sudden urge to taste his wife; his tongue met with her soft skin just above her clit, then down into her folds, tasting, discovering and exploring all that she had to offer. He began to suck and lick her clit. How he loved to worship at this altar.Jenna reached for the bowl of pancake batter. A wooden spoon was sticking out of the bowl. Without hesitation, she began spooning the batter down her breasts."It tastes alright," she murmured, placing a blob of batter on her husband's nose. "But it needs an extra ingredient, ""Umm, I think I can help you there.""Fuck me religiously, darling." Jenna said hoarsely.A pair of strong, silky legs wrapped around the vicar's arse. He lowered himself onto her and felt those glorious batter-coated breasts rub against his chest as he began thrusting into her. He tried to set a steady, leisurely pace to begin, but the legs around him urged him on faster and harder. Reverend Morris responded with enthusiasm, and within moments he was pounding into his wife with all his strength, mindful that after tonight he wouldn't be able to do this for six weeks."Yes, yes, oh my God yes, I've never felt anything like it!" Jenna moaned."Bloody hell, I'm coming, oh Jenna!" Reverend Morris yelled as his stream of hot cum filled up her cunt and flowed back out onto the kitchen countertop.Jenna lay back on the countertop, eyes closed. It was several minutes before her breathing had calmed enough for her to speak."Did I provide enough batter?" Reverend Morris asked."Your holy offering was more than generous!""Forty days without from this moment on. You've still time to change your mind.""I'm sticking to it, Simon. We'll get through Lent. We'll have to think up some creative contactless ways to get our rocks off."The smell of burning interrupted them. They both glanced at the stove. To Jenna's dismay, the pancake she'd been cooking had been virtually cremated in the frying pan."Oh dear," she said, gazing at the remains of the pancake, which now resembled a lump of coal."Now that's what I call a perfect burnt offering for Ash Wednesday!" Reverend Morris replied.The Organist is Entertained.Gordon Leesmith always looked forward to Thursday evening arriving. This was when he had organ practice at church, and for the past few months he'd been teaching Jenna to play the organ. These lessons were really just an excuse for a passionate romp with the stunning vicar's wife, who was always more than willing to get her hands on the organ in his trousers, rather than the church one.Gordon hummed to himself as he brewed himself a cup of tea. He checked the time. It was only just after midday. Six hours to go. He was impatient and horny, but in a very happy mood. He'd just returned from seeing his Primary Care physician. That in itself something of a miracle in modern Britain; and received good news. His benign prostate enlargement wasn't as bad as he'd feared. Despite being a bit overweight, the doctor had given him a clean bill of health. His blood pressure was low, and so was his cholesterol.Today was his birthday. He was fifty six. A year ago, Gordon had been a miserable, short-tempered man who didn't endear himself to anyone else in the church. Long-divorced, impotent and frustrated with being alone for so long, his life had turned upside down when a young woman by the name of Jenna Fox had started attending St. Michael's Church. A few months later, she'd turned her attentions to flirting with him. Never in a million years did Gordon think he'd end up getting his cock sucked by a stunning redhead whilst he sat on the organ stool.As Gordon sipped his tea, his phone vibrated."Oh, an email from Jenna," he smiled, checking the message.Happy Birthday Gordon! About tonight. I'm afraid I can't make tonight's organ practice. I won't be able to until Easter arrives. Thing is, I've chosen to give up sex for Lent. I know you won't to hear this and it's going to be so hard for me to stick to this, but you've got to test yourself and set a challenge, right? It's what being a Christian is all about. I truly hope you'll understand. But - that doesn't mean we can't still have some fun! Make sure you visit the church - I've left a birthday present for you on the organ stool, trust me, it'll see you through this hard time. And when Easter comes, Jesus won't be the only person that rises, wink wink. It'll be worth the wait, keep your organ pipe warm for me.Love Jenna. xxx"She's abstaining from sex?" Gordon almost dropped his cup of tea. "Wait, what? Oh no! This is a nightmare! I won't be able to have a fuck for six weeks? Bloody hell! I'll go round the bend, I can't even call on Yulia's mate Martika anymore. Damn it, why did she have to bugger off back to Ukraine?"He wasn't sure whether to scream or burst into tears, but after he overcame the initial shock, he took a deep breath and composed himself.

Saint Michael's Church has a new First Lady, named Jenna.A Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Candlemas RompThis Sunday had brought the heaviest rain so far of 2023. The weather had caused a notable drop in the number of people attending this morning's church service, Reverend Morris noticed.Today was Candlemas, which commemorated the ritual purification of Mary, forty days after the birth of her son Jesus. This day also marked the ritual presentation of the baby Jesus to God in the Temple at Jerusalem. It reminded Jenna of her own sacred ritual of fertility, Mentula Cōleī Baptism'. She's thankful to be so blessed by God, to have such devoted church elders guiding her spiritual development.After the service, and the usual tea, biscuits and chit chat in the church hall, Reverend Morris was eager to return to the vicarage. His wife had given him "that look"; and he knew what that meant. It had been a week since they'd made love, and as he had a feeling Jenna would be more than up for "a little afternoon delight," as she termed it.Outside, the late January winter rain was still lashing down. Despite the vicarage being a five minute walk from the church, the vicar and his wife had neglected to bring an umbrella with them. By the time they arrived home, they were both soaked to the bone.Reverend Morris' hair was wet, and the legs of his trousers clung damply to him, and the back of his black shirt was also soaked. He figured he was going to come down with a nasty cold if he didn't get into some dry clothes right away. Jenna evidently had the same thought, and they went straight upstairs to the master bedroom.She opened the wardrobe doors, and he switched on a bedside lamp. Shivering, they stripped out of their wet clothes.When they were nearly undressed, they glanced at each other. Their eyes locked.Still, they didn't speak. They didn't need to.He took her in his arms, and they kissed lightly at first, tenderly. Her mouth was warm and soft and vaguely flavored with communion wine.She clutched him, pulled him closer, her fingertips digging into the muscles of his back. She pushed her mouth hard against his, scraped his lip with her teeth, thrust her tongue deep, and abruptly their kisses grew hot, demanding.Something seemed to snap in him, and in her, too, for their desire was suddenly marked by animal urgency. They responded to each other in a hungry, almost frenzied fashion, hastily casting off the last of their clothes, pawing at each other's wet bodies, squeezing, stroking. She nipped his shoulder with her teeth. He gripped her pert buttocks and kneaded them with uncharacteristic crudity, but she didn't wince or try to pull away; indeed, she pressed even more insistently against him, rubbing her breasts over his chest and grinding her hips against his. Their wet, tussled hair and slippery bodies wrestled to seduce each other into submission. The soft whimpers that escaped from her were not sounds of pain; they clearly expressed her eagerness and need.In bed, his energy was manic, and his staying power amazed him. He was insatiable, and so was she. They thrust and thrashed and flexed and tensed in perfect harmony, as if they were not only joined but fused, as if they were a single organism, shaken by only one set of stimuli instead of two. Every vestige of civilization slipped from them, and for a long while the only noises they made were animal sounds: panting; groaning; throaty grunts of pleasure; short, sharp cries of excitement. At last Jenna uttered the first word to pass between them since they had left the church:"Oh my God!"And again, arching her slender, graceful body, tossing her head from side to side on the pillow: "Yes, yes!" It was not merely an orgasm to which she was saying yes, for she'd already had a couple of those and had announced them with only ragged breathing and soft mewling. She was saying yes to life.The vicar repeated the word as if chanting a sacred incantation,"Yes, yes, yes!"as he emptied his cum into her a second time.Spent, they stretched out on their backs, side by side on the disheveled bed. For a long time they listened to the rain on the roof and to the persistent thunder, which was no longer loud enough to rattle the windows. Wind howled around the side of the house.Jenna lay with her eyes closed, her face completely relaxed."Lovely service this morning, Simon!" She said at last. "Great choice of hymns.""It certainly was. I think my sermon went down well. Shame about the weather.""Hmm, I don't know - I think the rainy weather makes me much hornier than normal!" It isn't even February, but my winter ‘cabin fever' has already set in. Get ready for more of this ravishing sex, my stud!"Happy Candlemas, Jenna," Reverend Morris replied.Jenna & the Church Trip: Part 1“Thine be the glory hole!”More light-hearted goings-on with vicar's wife Jenna. New year, new naughtiness, and a dull coach trip organized by the church might turn out to be more fun than expected! God works in mysterious ways. For Jenna's husband, it was relief from a nymph wife who had few other ways to occupy herself, besides sexual romps, at all hours of the day and night."I'm so pleased that Alpha and Omega coach holidays have re-started their short breaks," Reverend Simon Morris excitedly exclaimed. "I've just booked us on the three-day trip to Epworth!"His wife Jenna looked up from her phone. "Epworth? Where's that?""It's in Lincolnshire. Now I know what you're thinking, it's January, the excitement of Christmas and the New Year is over and it's such a dull time of year. The weather is awful and what I really should be doing is booking us a fortnight in the Maldives or Barbados to escape the British winter blues. But instead I've booked us a coach trip to Lincolnshire,"Jenna tried to look interested. "Well, I've never been to Lincolnshire. Always nice to see somewhere new.""The reason I booked this trip is that Epworth is the birthplace of John and Charles Wesley. I thought you'd like to see it. After all, you are a big fan of them, yes?" He winked at her. "Oakwood Road Methodist Church are forever grateful to you for what you did last year."Jenna grinned. "I'd love to see their birthplace. So, when is this trip?""Next Monday. I think it'll be a fun little getaway. Gordon's coming along too. Oh and so is Barry, his cousin."That made Jenna perk up. Ooh, she thought to herself. I wonder if he's as hot? "He's recovered from his broken ankle then?""As far as I know, he's made a full recovery. His daughter Lisa came over from Florida to stay with him, so Gordon was relieved at that.""Thank goodness for that," Jenna replied. She'd really missed seeing her favorite organist. Oakwood's organist Raymond Wilson had done a superb job standing in for Gordon, thanks to some "gentle persuasion" from Jenna on Christmas Eve. "What sort of hotel are we staying at?"Reverend Morris looked at the Alpha and Omega brochure. "Hmm. We're staying at a hotel just outside Epworth that was originally a 17th century coaching inn. It's called The Parson's Knob, "Jenna almost spat out the coffee she was drinking. "Seriously?""I'm sure there is an innocent explanation for that name! Then again, maybe not! According to the travel agent, all twenty rooms of the hotel had been booked up for a group of Albanian asylum seekers. However for some bizarre reason, after a few days, the Albanians all begged to be transferred to a Travelodge a few miles away.""That is weird," Jenna replied. "I'd much rather stay in a lovely old historical inn than some crappy Travelodge. Oh well. Maybe they wanted somewhere a bit more modern?""Perhaps?"The day of the trip arrived. The British weather was true to form, and it had been raining hard since dawn. "When's the coach due again?" Jenna asked as she and Reverend Morris shivered at the bus stop opposite the railway station."Should be here now," her husband replied. "Oh look, there's Gordon and Barry!""Hmm, maybe this trip won't be so dull after all!" She smirked. Barry was basically a clone of Gordon. "Looks more like his identical twin brother than his cousin!" The only difference being that Barry was wearing glasses. The resemblance was uncanny."I don't know why I let you talk me into coming with you on this trip," Barry moaned as he and Gordon approached the bus stop. "You know I'm not a member of the God Squad, ""You haven't met the vicar's wife yet," Gordon whispered."Oh, this the lass you've got the hots for?" His skeptical cousin rolled his eyes."I think you'll find quite a lot of the fellas at St. Michael's Church have the hots for her," Gordon replied. "Oh God, there she is!"Barry adjusted his glasses. "Bloody hell. You weren't kidding when you said she was a bit of a fox, were you? Dream on! She's way too young for you, Gordy! I'd say she's way too young for the vicar too, but she must have a thing for older men if she's ended up marrying him,"Gordon chuckled. "If only you knew half of the things that go on at St. Michael's, dear cousin. If you did, wild horses wouldn't be able to drag you away from the Sunday Eucharist!""Hello!" Jenna said. "Oh Gordon, is this your cousin?""Hiya, and yes, this is Barry. He's not been won over by St. Michael's yet,""I see. Nice to meet you! Maybe you'll think differently about our church after you've been on this trip?""Perhaps," Barry interrupted, ogling Jenna, until Gordon gave him a nudge.Ten minutes later, a white minibus pulled up at the bus stop."Oh, I was expecting a coach," said Jenna. Further along the street, came Josh the curate and Norman the churchwarden."Not as many people booked as was expected," Reverend Morris replied. "I blame the weather. Afraid there's only six of us!"The group boarded the bus. Barry turned to Gordon. "She's not the typical vicar's wife is she?""Oh not at all," Gordon smiled.Barely half an hour into the journey and as always tended to happen on road trips, someone needed the toilet.Reverend Morris rolled his eyes. "Oh for goodness sake, we've only just set off. We're not due to stop for another hour, when we have our lunch at Cusworth Hall in Doncaster!"This does tend to happen when you have elderly passengers," the bus driver remarked. "I know. I've been doing this job for thirty years. The stories I could tell you!""We haven't got any elderly passengers," the vicar replied. "It's our organist who needs to go. As usual!""Oi, it's not my fault my bloody prostate makes me pee more!" Gordon yelled from the back of the bus. "You're not being very Christian today, Vicar! How about some compassion for your fellow man?""Yes, yes, alright. I'm sorry Gordon. Alright, we'll find somewhere to pull in for a quick comfort break. Is that okay with you, Ahmed?""No worries," the bus driver replied, checking the sat nav. "There's a coach stop a couple of miles away. I'll just come off at the next junction and it's right there. I've stopped at it a few times. It's a bit down at heel, but,""That'll do. As long as there are toilets.""Oh yeah. They're unisex though, and a bit, grimy. Is that a problem?""Not at all," Reverend Morris smirked. "Any port in a storm, as the old saying goes!"The minibus exited the motorway. A short time later, it pulled onto the car park of Jed's Butty Hut, a sandwich restaurant in a 1960s prefab that had seen better days."Right," Reverend Morris said, checking his watch. "We'll have a fifteen minute stop here. Can everyone be back on the bus by ten o'clock please?"The toilets were at the back of the main building. Gordon hurried in first. There were five cubicles, each with its own nauseating odor. He entered the first one. The toilet was missing a seat and the bowl was overflowing with vomit."Ugh. No thanks." He hurried out and entered the next one. A dead crow was sticking out of the toilet, beak wide open and wings spread, reminiscent of a scene from Hitchcock's The Birds."Fuck," he muttered, rushing out and into the third one. This toilet seemed clean enough, only a few cigarette ends and crack pipes floating in it.A few minutes later, Jenna decided to relieve herself, even though she could've held on until Doncaster. It was always the same on a trip. You got the urge to go even though you didn't actually need to go.The pretty redhead went into the end cubicle, which was the cleanest of the lot. Graffiti was daubed all over the walls, the usual expletives, plus crude drawings of cocks done in black marker pen. An urban art gallery for the times, she remarked to herself as she did her thing. It was then that she noticed a neat, circular hole on the lower right side of the partition wall."Ooh, a glory hole," she said to herself. "I wonder if it's well-used?""Why don't we try it out?" A muffled voice in the next cubicle muttered. Seconds later, a cock poked through it!"Gordon, is that you?" Jenna whispered. The shaft was thick just like his."No," the mystery man replied. She didn't recognize his voice, so he had to be someone from the restaurant. Jenna gasped. A burst of excitement ran through her, at the thought of touching this stranger's cock. At the same time, the danger associated with doing this seemed to add to the thrill.With her right hand, she reached down, slowly tracing up and down the length of the engorged cock with her palm. The man let out a groan. The size and hardness of his member increased Jenna's excitement. Her cunt was getting increasingly wet in anticipation, and she quickly knelt down in front of the generous offering.She rolled her tongue around its circumference and sucked on it as she would a piece of fruit, trying to get every drop of pre-cum. Not content with just a portion, she began to slowly venture down the shaft. With every thrust forward, she took more of it down her throat."Oh!" The mystery man exclaimed. He moaned in pleasure and bestowed every compliment he could think of on her.Jenna withdrew in order to say something. "What a gentleman you are!""Well you're damned good," came his reply.With every bobbing of her head, Jenna made progress toward the base. Above the slurping sounds she made as she wetted the shaft with her saliva, she could hear the stranger gently moaning with approval at her technique. She began to vary her speed; one moment erupting with a robust attack, then at an instant slowing her pace to relish the feast.Feeling the end would arrive soon, Jenna quickened her speed. She too, felt the rising heat from her crotch swelling to an orgasmic crescendo. Then, at the apex of pleasure, there erupted from deep within her cunt a spasm, which rapidly spread a pleasing warmth all over her body.The man's body stiffened as he released his full load into Jenna's mouth with a mighty groan. When every drop had been expelled, he slowly withdrew his rod fr

 Her Mentula Cōleī BaptismA Series in 17 parts, By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Christmas was fast approaching, and festive events were in full swing at St. Michael's Church."Well not long to go until Jesus' birthday," Reverend Morris smiled as he and Jenna finished putting up their Christmas decorations. "Just two weeks. Which reminds me, there's another very special person's birthday a week before the festive season, ""Oh yes. I'd forgotten!" Jenna replied."Jenna my love, it's your 21st! You can't forget something like that. I want it to be a truly memorable birthday for you. Is there anything in particular you'd really, really like? Please give it some thought. Turning 21 is a milestone.""I will Simon. But I pretty much have everything I've ever wanted already," she smiled, slipping her arms round him.Later, Jenna was engrossed in reading something on her smartphone."Imagine that," she whispered to herself.Noticing her excitement, Reverend Morris became curious."What's grabbed your attention, Jen?"" Mentula Cōleī Baptism," she blurted out, without thinking.Her husband looked confused. "Pardon?""Oh! It's nothing. Just an old fertility rite of the Eastern Orthodox, in some Asian nations! The Japanese call it bukkake. The loose translation of ‘Mentula Cōleī'  is ‘cock & balls'. And it follows the Anglican tradition of sprinkling. Er, would you like a cup of tea?”"Sure."Later, when Jenna was having a shower, Reverend Morris picked up his phone. "Bukkake, she said. How does one spell that, then?" He typed into the browser. Boocaka? Bookaki? Bukacay? On the third attempt, the browser's autocorrect suggested the correct term."Oh, so that's how it's spelt. He clicked on a Wikipedia link. "Good God!" He spluttered, as he read all about the act. When he'd finished, he chuckled to himself. "You learn something new every day. The Internet never disappoints, "At the Wednesday Eucharist, Gordon had just finished the recessional hymn. The midweek service always had a lower turnout than the Sunday service, but numbers had been steadily increasing all year."Morning Gordon," Reverend Morris said, appearing at the side of the organ."Oh hello vicar," the organist replied. "Quite full today. I don't know, the news says that Christianity is declining in this country but this church seems to be the exception.""It does, and that pleases me greatly. I can't speak for all churches in England, but knowing that our community here at St. Michael's is thriving, well it lifts my heart. I tend not to pay much attention to the news these days. Too depressing. Difficult times for so many. Strikes, cost of living and all that. Oh and England getting knocked out of the World Cup.""Mmm, yes," Gordon nodded. "Couldn't care less about football. I never watch it. Horse racing is my thing. How's Jenna and Christopher?""Oh they're both fine, actually I need to discuss something important with you, Gordon. Jenna's 21st birthday is next week. I was wondering if you could help me with something?""Certainly, vicar!" He replied, switching off the light above the organ's keyboards. "Happy to help in any way I can.""Okay, but not here. Come to my study right now, please.""Right you are," Gordon said. He didn't even have time to remove his robe and hang it up in the vestry. He was intrigued. The way the vicar was summoning him to the study sounded a bit ominous. He felt like a kid at school being summoned to the headmaster in order to receive a punishment. He meekly followed the vicar down the aisle."Close the door if you please," Reverend Morris said, as he beckoned the organist into the study. Gordon did as he asked, and was surprised to find Josh the curate, Father Aiden, Bishop George and Norman Winstanley the new churchwarden all waiting."Eh, what's all this, vicar?" Gordon exclaimed. "A lads-only party?""Gentlemen," Reverend Morris began. "I've invited you here because you are trusted spiritual mentors; and trusted friends of mine. As servants of God, you all have your own important tasks to perform. Now what I am about to ask you, requires a great deal of trust. As good Christians, I wonder if you'll be able to fulfil this very unique anointing ceremony a parishioner has requested."Father Aiden crossed himself. "I am always ready to do the Lord's work.""Me too," Gordon said. "And if there's free beer included, well that's a bonus!""Well this task concerns Jenna, my wife."The men in the study all fell silent. There was a great deal of shuffling feet and awkward coughs!One week later,"Where are we going, Simon?" Jenna asked, as he got into the car. She assumed they were going to a restaurant."The church. Just a little birthday surprise."When they arrived, Reverend Morris requested that Jenna close her eyes."Absolutely no peeking!" He said as he led her down the aisle."This is so exciting!" Jenna said. "Let me guess, the whole congregation of St. Michael's are going to leap out and yell Happy Birthday, right?""Close, but no cigar!" The vicar replied. "Now, just sit on this stool, "Father Aiden was driving down the high street, on his way to St. Michael's Church. His heart was pounding like crazy."I can't believe I agreed to take part in this," he mumbled to himself. "Lord in heaven, why am I doing this? Haven't I sinned enough already?"He fiddled with the car radio. Most of the stations were planning Christmas songs 24/7 now. Chris's Rea's Driving Home for Christmas started playing. This was the third time today he'd heard this song. Passing a Tesco Express store, Father Aiden decided he needed some Dutch courage before he could partake in the special "celebration" at the church. A cheap bottle of whiskey or gin would suffice. Parking up, he hurried into the store and walked straight into a woman who was loaded up with shopping."I'm so sorry!" He exclaimed, picking up the tube of gift wrap she'd dropped."Aiden?"He froze and looked up. "Róisín?""My God! It is you! I can't believe it!" the red-haired woman gasped."W-what are you doing in this neck of the woods?" Father Aiden said. "Did you leave Liverpool?""Sure did. I've jumped ship. I'm at the Living Earth Free Church now and I'm loving every minute. I've become a vicar, well they call us leaders. It suits me just fine. What about you, are you still with the Catholic Church?"The priest looked awkwardly at her. "Erm, sort of. I've been fighting a conflict with myself these past couple of weeks."Róisín smiled at him. "You think your future lies elsewhere?"He took a deep breath. "Maybe?"She put down her shopping bags and took his hand. "I've never stopped thinking about you, Aiden. I know you broke things off because you couldn't break your celibacy vows, ""Oh but that's the thing. I fled Liverpool and moved to this town, and the first thing I did was to break my celibacy vows, "Róisín's face fell. "Oh, so you've met someone?""Uh, No. It was just a, one-off. But it made me think that I'm just not cut out for a celibate life. And because of that, I can't continue in my current profession.""Well you're too attractive for that."A blush spread across the priest's face. "Would you like to go for a drink?""Thought you'd never ask! Let me dump this stuff in the car and then I'm all yours!""Sorry Jenna," Father Aiden said to himself as he slipped his arm around Róisín and they strolled into the town center. "But I'm sure you'll have fun without me. Thanks for helping me see the light though."Jenna could hear muffled whisperings and several male voices. She wondered what was going to happen next. "Can I look yet?""No not yet," Reverend Morris replied. "Just a sec, " The vicar ushered Gordon, Josh, Bishop George and Norman in front of the altar, where several candles has been lit. "Where's Father Aiden?""Guess he chickened out?" Gordon muttered. "Maybe he's in a confession booth? Ha-ha!""Oh well, fair enough. It was a lot to ask, Okay Jenna, you can open your eyes now!"Jenna opened her eyes, to see the organist, the curate, the Bishop, and the churchwarden all stood round her. Gordon was wearing his best suit and the black robe he wore when playing the organ, andJosh was wearing his cassock and surplice."Oh my. Good evening, boys!" She said. "Are you all here to wish me Happy Birthday?""We certainly are," Gordon grinned, rubbing his crotch. "We're here to give you the most memorable birthday ever, eh chaps? As it's a special one, and you're a very special lass, Jenna!""Aww, you're all so sweet," Jenna replied, still not aware of what was about to happen. "I love being part of this church.""And you've brought so much happiness to it," Reverend Morris said. Now it's time for us to repay your kindness." He nodded at Gordon and the others. "Now don't keep my lovely wife waiting, she's eager to be baptized!""Huh?" Jenna blinked. "Baptized?"Gordon volunteered to go first. He unzipped his trousers and pulled out his cock. "Come on lads, don't be shy, eh?" Seconds later, Josh and Bishop George did the same. Norman hesitated a moment, but finally followed suit and unzipped. Jenna's mouth dropped in amazement as four delicious erect cocks were pointed right at her. She was too stunned to speak, and turned to Reverend Morris, who was standing back from the others, and also wearing church vestments."This is our 21st birthday present to you," the vicar said. "A Mentula Cōleī Baptism." It's been part of early Assyrian Christian marriage ceremonies in Asia, to anoint a young bride's womb, before the couple consummates. The church elders would meet with the couple after the public ceremony vows, to anoint the virgin."Oh, my, God" Jenna gasped. "Simon, how?"The reverend simply put his hands together, as though in prayer. "I asked God for help in getting you the perfect present. He knows everything, you see. I'm just sorry that Father Aiden decided to opt out, and unfortunately the Archbishop of Canterbury was unavailable as he's currently in Ukraine. John Wesley's ghost, well one cannot book a last-minute appointment with the dead, alas. But I hope those of us that are here will satisfy you?"Jenna licked her lips. "Hell yes!" She knelt down before them. "Oh Gordon, I see you've got an organ pipe that needs blowing," she said as she pulled down his trousers and briefs and squeezed his erection. "Let's see if you can hit the right notes.""I always hit the right notes," he chuckled. "Especially when you're playing my instrument, ""Umm. You're an organist who always entertains," she commented as she lowered her mouth over the end of his cock.Jenna sucked on the head, tasting him as she ran her tongue over the sensitive opening, while pumping the shaft with her hand. She took more and more of his hardness into her mouth until she felt him hit the back of her throat. She relaxed and pushed on until she had his whole member in her mouth and she was nuzzling his silvery pubic hair. He groaned as he grabbed the back of her head and thrust into her mouth.Reverend Morris watched in admiration and amazement as his wife expertly sucked the organist's cock. Gordon was quite well-endowed, but that was no challenge to Jenna. Seeing her pleasuring another man like this had got him as hard as a rock. He massaged his erection through his cassock and surplice. Could she cope with more than one man though?Josh was growing impatient, and his cock was desperate for attention. "Fancy trying some younger meat, Jenna? I think you've fully re-tuned the organist's organ.""Don't rush the lass," Gordon sighed. "Wait your turn, lad!""I'm sure you can't wait to taste it," he said as he pushed his throbbing shaft in her face.Jenna didn't hesitate, she removed Gordon's cock and Josh pushed his erection deep into her mouth. He grabbed her head and she began sucking him hard."Oh yeah! Praise the Lord! Oh I'm coming!""So soon?" Gordon chuckled. You younger fellas have no endurance!""Now now, enough of that," Jenna said. Play nice." She unbuttoned her blouse, exposing her pert breasts. "Mmm, give me some cum, Josh!"The sight of her tits pushed the curate over the edge and he erupted, glazing them with his hot seed."So delicious! Thanks so much Josh. What an impressive load. No longer shy I see! Like I said, you'll make one hell of a vicar one day!" Jenna felt an intense tingling sensation of arousal and a moistening in her pussy. The crotch of her panties turned a darker shade of red as her nectar seeped out of her and soaked them. Reaching under her skirt, she began fingering herself."We vicars produce more cum, right?" Reverend Morris chuckled, jacking off in the background."Hell yes.""Organists produce a lot too," Gordon interrupted. "Oh fuck, now I'm coming, Jenna, .oh!"Jets of creamy white cum surged forth through the air from the tip of Gor

Fellatio Rites for the Ghost of John Wesley By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Jenna took a deep breath as she approached Oakwood Road Methodist Church. "Are you sure you don't want me to come in with you?" Reverend Morris asked. She patted his shoulder. "I'll be fine Simon. You don't need to worry. It's the ghost of John Wesley, not Jack the Ripper. This is exciting! I hope he'll appear!" "Right, well, I'll be sat in the car then. I hope you won't be too long. Remember, just turn and run the moment you feel in any way uncomfortable." "Reverend Morris, I think you're scared!""No I'm not! I can't help being concerned for the safety of the woman I love can I? Aren't you a tiny bit nervous?" "I'm as cool as spring water," Jenna replied. "I was reading all about John Wesley last night. He was a true gentleman. I'm sure this won't take long." Reverend Morris nodded as he watched his wife enter the church. "Well if anyone can fix this, Jenna can. I don't know what she said to the Archbishop of Canterbury last week, but he changed his mind about the wall plaque faster than the Government does U-turns. I wonder what she said to him? Whatever it was, Justin Welby was impressed!" He reclined in his car seat. "I was so lucky to meet Jenna. Of course, it was God who delivered her to me. That fateful Sunday morning in the vestry, oh." Father Aiden was walking along the street. Many things were on his mind. He had some important decisions to make about his future in the priesthood. Briefly glancing up from his smartphone, his heart jumped as he spotted Jenna entering the Methodist church across the road. "Holy Mother, " he muttered. A rush of excitement swept over him as he recalled the intimate encounter he'd enjoyed a few weeks ago. It was that which had spurred him to think about his future. He quickly crossed the road. "Hello Father!" The priest almost dropped his phone. Someone was shouting at him from a parked car. "Oh, Reverend Morris. Hello there." Damn, no chance of a repeat encounter, he thought. "I've just seen your wife going into the Methodist church." "Yes, I hope she won't be long. I'm just waiting for her." "Are you alright? You look a bit anxious, if you don't mind me saying." "It's a long story, Father. I think you'd better sit down in the passenger seat and I'll tell you. You've not heard about what's been going on in Oakwood Road church have you?" The priest looked confused. "Nope. Tell me more!" He opened the car door and sat down. I could do to unburden myself too." "Okay, well, this might sound a bit weird." "I can handle anything weird," Father Aiden replied. "It's about ghosts. As a Catholic, what are your thoughts on them and have you ever seen one?" Father Aiden thought about his answer very carefully. "Hmm. In theory, billions of ghosts potentially exist because billions of human beings have "lost" their bodies through death. Strictly speaking, these disembodied souls are not ghosts because they have never become discernible to any living people. Only those few souls whose presence is seen or felt by others are truly ghosts. And their existence is real." "So you've seen one?" "Yes. Two actually. Once in Ireland when I was a child and another when I was based in Liverpool. I was called upon to rid a family's home of a troubled spirit." Reverend Morris looked relieved. "That's good to know." "The Old Testament also has a few ghost stories. The most famous one is in 1 Samuel 28:8 thru 20. Here the inspired writer tells how King Saul met with the ghost of the prophet Samuel." Father Aiden replied. "Have you seen a ghost?" "Yes. And not just any ghost, but the ghost of John Wesley! He's haunting the Methodist church. That's why I'm here. Jenna's gone in there to try and help him return to, the other side." "Oh I see, then she must, wait, what?" Father Aiden did a double take. "Thanks for coming' along Mrs. Morris," Reverend Ewing said, shaking Jenna's hand. "I know you probably think this whole thing is crazy." "Not at all! And call me Jenna. I'm a true believer. If my husband says that you and he saw John Wesley, then I know it's true. But why does John want to see me of all people?" "Your hubby mentioned that your grandma is a Methodist?" "Uh yeah. Bit of a tenuous link. Like Sir Henry Barrington-Smythe's horse." "Huh?" "Oh, never mind. Figure of speech." "You Brits and your little quirks!" Reverend Ewing laughed. "I'm still getting used to 'em!" "You said John usually appears in the vestry?" "Uh-huh. Can be anywhere in the church, but he seems to like the vestry best." "Right, well go and wait in there and say a few prayers, and see if he appears. I'm not sure I can do anything, but I'll try my best." Jenna entered the vestry. Everything looked perfectly normal in there. She closed the door and looked around. "It always comes back to the vestry," she smiled to herself as she recalled when she first got to know Reverend Morris. Suddenly, the row of gowns on the rail began to swing on their hangers. The temperature dropped, and Jenna rubbed her arms. "Are you there, John?" She called out. "Yes." She spun round. There was no sign of the spirit. "Hey, come on, show yourself at least. It's no fun talking to the invisible man." "My sincere apologies," John replied, and slowly faded into view. For the first time, Jenna was taken aback. "My God, you really are John Wesley, " He nodded and bowed. "Bless ye, for am so honored you hath come here. If I may be so bold to say, you be a lady of great beauty my dear." "Very kind of you to say, Mr. Wesley." Jenna said. "Why are you back in the land of the living? Aren't you happy in Heaven?" "Ah yes," he began. "Happier than mortals can ever imagine. But you see, I feel compelled to return to this realm every All Hallow's Eve. I like to re-visit the places where I worshipped back when I was alive. And it was in this very place where this church now stands that I preached to crowds back in the autumn of 1778." "You've got a lot of places to visit in just one night," Jenna said. "I read all about you. You traveled all over England spreading the Word of the Lord. Plus you went to America, the colonies, when you were younger." "Indeed I did, yes. To my regret, I lingered a little too long here, for I found myself unable to return to the afterlife. The sun had started to rise, heralding All Saint's Day. Thus, I am trapped here in this church until next All Hallow's Eve. Only a tremendous release of positive energy could allow me to return before then." "Oh dear. May I ask why out of all the people in the world, you wanted to see me? What can I do? My gran is a Methodist. Is that the reason?" "No Miss Jenna. It was your aura that attracted me. It's very strong. I believe God himself must've embodied you with some sort of innate goodness that allows you to help people." "You're making me sound like some kind of saint! I assure you I'm just a regular human being. I'm not particularly gifted in anything, although I do try to be a good person, " John had a rather dreamy expression on his face. "You remind me so much of Grace Murray, a lady I loved and lost, only you be far prettier than her." It was then that Jenna had an idea. A huge grin spread across her face. She'd read all about John Wesley's life and how unlucky he'd been in love. "A tremendous release of positive energy, you say? I think I know something which may cause that!" John put his hands together. "You do? Pray, do tell, my dear." "You need to experience an orgasm. What could be more positive than that?" He blinked. "I beg your pardon?" "Oh you know, " She tried to think of a period-appropriate phrase so he'd understand. "The end act of carnal relations?" He blushed. "Oh. Miss Jenna I be a man of God. I don't see how, " Jenna sank to her knees. "Only one way to find out, John!" She paused. So he's a ghost. I've never pleasured a ghost before. Isn't he composed of just gas? He's quite cute, for someone who died in 1791! I wonder if, She reached out to touch him, and expected her hand to pass right through his body, but it didn't. He jolted at her touch. "Don't worry John. I've done this before, many times in fact. It's a great honor to be able to do it to you. I'm sure this will help you." The moment of first contact had arrived. Jenna let one hand gently glide ever so slightly over John's thigh, encased in tight black breeches. Reaching out with the other hand, she ran it over his crotch, feeling an impressive bulge. "Oh my! I feel strangely warmed yet again!" John sighed. Jenna fumbled with the buttons on his breeches, being more used to zippers. Something large and splendid lurked within. Either that or he had a Bible stuffed down there. "My God!" she gasped, as the Methodist's member was revealed. The short, slightly-built John Wesley was hung like a horse! "How on earth were you so unlucky in love?" Jenna exclaimed. "Mostly the ladies deserted me long before I even reached the bedchamber," he mumbled. "Well I'm not deserting you." She pledged.Outside the vestry, Reverend Ewing paced back and forth, wondering what the strange groaning noises were all about. "The hell is going' on in there?" She said out loud. "Ah!" John sighed, his eyes closed in ecstasy. Thoroughly satisfied, he cried out in joy. "Thank you! Thank you so much!""Ah! I'm free once more! You've freed me Jenna! I can't thank you enough! I can return and be at peace!" He began to rise up into the air. "I hope we shall meet again sometime! Farewell and God bless!" Jenna stood up and wiped her lips. "Godspeed, John! Oh! Just one more thing, next time you visit, can you bring your brother Charles along?" Reverend Ewing was about to knock on the vestry door, when it suddenly opened. "Oh! Is everything alright?" "Everything's fine. You can reopen your church. John's spirit is at peace once more." "For sure? He's really gone? But how?" "I just said a prayer for him. Told him how much his teaching continues to inspire people to this day. That seemed to satisfy him and he just faded away." "Well thank you so much, Jenna," the reverend said, shaking her hand. "I'm so glad it's all over. It was really stressing me out! and I'm so happy that John is at peace in the Lord's kingdom again. Oh, what's that on your clothing?" Jenna looked down and was mortified at the huge globs of cum. "Oh dear. It's, candle wax. I didn't realize it had spilled. I must get going now, Reverend Ewing. Simon is waiting in the car and he'll be getting worried." "Of course. Thank you again, and give my regards to Simon!" When she'd gone, Reverend Ewing looked round the vestry. "Hmm, strange. There are no candles in here." The lecherous church warden meets his match. After peace was restored to Oakwood Road Methodist Church, and the spirit of John Wesley successfully liberated, Jenna and Reverend Morris turned their attentions to this weekend's Remembrance Sunday service. This was always a major event, and the people would be crammed into St. Michael's like sardines. "I've finally completed this special sermon," Reverend Morris said, handing Jenna his iPad. "Have a read and tell me what you think. I included your suggestions about the importance of teaching the younger generation about those who died in wars. Also the bit about Winston Churchill being a flawed figure. Good suggestion, that. As human beings we are all flawed in some way." "It looks fantastic. Let me grab a coffee and settle down to enjoy this!" "I hope it won't come across as too boring. You know I always get paranoid about my sermons. So many churchgoers dread a long sermon!" "Your sermons are always fun and relevant, Simon, You're too hard on yourself." The mild-mannered vicar smiled. "Aww, thanks! Oh and I hope Norman Winstanley behaves himself this weekend. I had to have a quiet word with him during the Wednesday morning service." "The new churchwarden? What's he done wrong?" "Well, as you know, he took over from dear old Albert who died last month. He'd previously been at St. John's, but sadly, that church has closed for good and is being demolished. Such a shame. It was a great church back in the day." "Very sad when a church dies. What are they building in its place?" Jenna asked. "An Aldi supermarket. Anyways, about Norman. He's sixty-five and a terrible lecher, to put it plainly. Some say he's Sid James and Benny Hill cranked up to eleven. He didn't get nicknamed Carry On Norm for nothing." Jenna was immediately intrigued. How come I've never noticed this guy before? She thought. "Ooh. So he likes to ogle young women does he?" "Yes, but not just young! I've seen him staring at the legs of older women too. Last Sunday, I caught him perving at Mrs. Wilcox when she was doing the flower arranging. And she's about eighty! Though I admit, she does have nice legs, for someone er, so mature." "Naughty boy. At least he's not ageist." Jenna said. "He needs to get on OnlyFans." Reverend Morris couldn't help but laugh. "You always try to see the best in everyone! Well just looking is one thing, but Norman has built up a bit of a reputation for being a qualified pincher of bottoms. I won't tolerate that sort of behavior. It's completely unacceptable. I'm surprised he's avoided getting into more trouble, to be honest." "Is he married?" "No, widowed. Took early retirement too. Has far too much time on his hands. And we all know that the Devil makes work for idle hands, " "So true," Jenna nodded. "He makes bottoms for idle hands to pinch. "I don't think I've seen Norman. What does he look like?" "Well he wears glasses and he's the spitting image of Frank Carson." Jenna blinked. "Who?" "Heh, I keep forgetting the age gap between us. Frank was a Northern Irish comedian. He's dead now. My dad was and still is a massive fan of him. He used to go and see him on stage at Blackpool in the 1990s." Reverend Morris looked up a picture of the comedian on his phone and showed it to her. "Ok. I'll keep an eye out for Norman this Sunday!" "If he tries anything with you, tell me at once!" "Oh don't worry. He wouldn't dare," Jenna replied, smirking to herself, an idea already forming in her mind. Naughty Norman. I can't have a churchwarden with wandering hands threatening Simon's church. I'd better get my hands on him before he causes any more trouble! As expected, the Sunday service was very well-attended. Jenna had arrived early, as she wanted to sit in a specific place right in the front pew. She chose to sit on the left side, in front of the organ. She'd chosen this spot because it was semi-hidden, due to a convenient pillar. More importantly, Norman the churchwarden would soon be standing here, just a few feet away, ready to direct people when it was time to take communion. For Remembrance Sunday, Jenna had chosen a smart, but conservative black dress and a silk scarf featuring a poppy pattern. She was wearing two paper poppy badges, and one of them was in a very intimate place. "I hope this isn't disrespectful to the war dead," she thought to herself as she crossed her legs. "But it's necessary. This is for the good of the church's reputation. Very helpful that these self-adhesive poppy badges exist now. I just hope it doesn't drop off, " Before long, Norman Winstanley appeared and Jenna recognized him at once. Her husband's Frank Carson description had been spot on. The guy looked just like him. A full head of white hair, glasses and bushy eyebrows. A stocky build, with a beer gut. Norman looked very smart. He was wearing a dark grey suit with white shirt and maroon tie. He had big hairy hands. Jenna wondered if other parts of his body were hairy. "Ah, that's him. Mr. Wandering Hands Winstanley," she said to herself. She should've been repulsed by this randy old boomer, like most women her age would be, but as usual, she found herself lusting after him and getting wet. "I wonder if he wears y-fronts like Gordon? He looks the type." Of all the different types of underwear she'd seen men of this church wearing, y-fronts and boxer shorts were her favorite. Norman stood in his usual place, ready to direct the lost sheep, as he termed the congregation, to the pews, and then out again, when called for communion. St. Michael's had an efficient system whereby the congregation, one pew at a time, went up for communion, walked in a circle round the church and back to their seat. This system had been introduced during the pandemic, but had proved so successful, it had been kept on. Suddenly, the strains of the organ interrupted the quietness of the church, as Gordon began playing the opening hymn, O God Our Help in Ages Past. Everyone dutifully stood up, and it was then that Jenna caught Norman's eye. She noticed him staring and winked at him. He winked back at her. Immediately, she knew she had his full, undivided attention. Who's that tasty little filly? Norman thought. I haven't seen her before. Mind you, I've only been helping out here a week. Not many young lasses in this church. She's a pretty one. Mmm, I'd like to goose her! Look at him, undressing me with his eyes, Jenna smirked. Oh he's horny all right. I think he needs a lot more than a butt cheek to pinch. I bet his balls are as blue as a Smurf's arse. The hymn finished, and everyone sat down, as Reverend Morris began the usual start of the morning Eucharist. "A very blessed welcome to all who have joined us today, for this, our special Remembrance Sunday service. We are gathered here today to reflect on those who gave their lives in the service of this country. At the same time, we reflect on those who are currently enduring the horrors of war. The people of Ukraine, Syria and Afghanistan. Let us pray, " Jenna bowed her head. At the same time, she crossed her legs and slid her dress up, exposing some creamy white thigh. Norman's eyes almost popped out of his head. She was sure she heard him utter a noise, rather like the whinny of a horse. At the same time, Gordon peered over the top of the organ, waiting for his cue to start playing the Gloria in Excelsis. His elevated position afforded him a perfect view of Jenna, when he spotted her sitting right at the front. He assumed she'd chosen to sit there for his benefit. "Venus herself," he muttered, gazing at her flawless legs and remembering the last time they'd been wrapped round his body at the vicarage social. He felt his cock starting to throb. "God she makes me feel glad that I was born a man!" A cough brought him to his senses. Josh the curate was desperately trying to attract his attention as discreetly as possible. "Oh, sorry!" Gordon whispered, fumbling with his music sheets. He started playing the Gloria. Jenna was getting excited just thinking about flashing her white panties. Her nipples were already erect and hard and she could feel that familiar warm, moist sensation between her legs. Slowly, she slid her dress up higher and uncrossed her legs, doing so in such a way that it was impossible to avoid a panty flash. She looked at Norman and raised an eyebrow. He let out an audible gasp and his face flushed a shade of red that looked as if his blood pressure had reached stroke-inducing levels. Fumbling in his pocket, he grabbed a handkerchief and wiped his face. Jenna noticed how his forehead and upper lip were glistening with sweat. No-Nut November might be a thing, but not in my world, Jenna thought. At this rate, poor Norman will have collapsed before I even get to unzip him. He was looking at her again and she noticed his bulge in his trousers that he tried covering with crossed hands. Communion was rapidly approaching, and in the middle of the offertory hymn, Norman suddenly rushed off to the gents. When he returned a few minutes later, Jenna noticed his flies were unzipped. She wondered whether he'd done this deliberately or forgotten to zip up after having a pee or a wank. "So you want to play do you?" Jenna whispered and winked at him. Norman was holding an order of service booklet, and deliberately dropped it. As he squatted down to pick it up, the gap in his unzipped trousers widened, allowing Jenna a glimpse of his underwear. She was thrilled to have a peek at his pale blue y-fronts and the bulge contained within. "Very nice!" She mouthed to him and blew a discreet kiss. It was time to take communion, and being sat at the front, Jenna had to go first. Calmly, she rose from the pew and walked past the organ. As she did, the poppy pinned to her dress fell out. "Oh dear, she said, and bent down to pick it up. As she did, she ensured her dress rose up, revealing a flash of her panties. However it was Gordon who got the full eyeful. He leant over for a better look, and clumsily knocked a load of music books off the shelf at the side of the organ. "Damn and blast it," he muttered, scrambling to pick them up. Jenna took communion and walked round the church and down the side aisle. As she approached her pew, Norman "helpfully" held out his hand to direct her, and she took the opportunity to squeeze past him. As she did, she felt a hand cup her right buttock and give a little pinch. "You're a dirty old man, Mr. Winstanley," she said. "Luckily for you, I happen to be a dirty young woman." Quick as a whip, she slid her hand to his crotch and groped his bulge through his unzipped trousers. "Ah, oh!" Norman jolted in surprise. Jenna sat down and smiled at him. "I want to see more. Do you?" His nostrils flared, and he quickly backed off, squirming with arousal and bewilderment. Jenna wondered if she'd scared him off, but as the organ music resumed and communion ended, she saw him grab the order of service booklet again and hold it sideways against his crotch. Wondering where this would lead, she was ready to play. It was much more fun than her doing all the flashing. She raised her leg and slid a finger across her panties, pulling the material to the side, giving him a peek at her pubic hair. Norman felt like he was going to cum in his underpants, if this continued. His face was red and his breathing was shallow. He wondered just how much longer he could hold on, but hold on he did. This cheeky little filly was unlike any other woman he'd ever encountered. A wiser, less lecherous man would've backed off long ago, in this age of Me Too, mindful that he could be being led into a trap. But Norman was a shameless, seasoned groper and letch, and he wasn't going to back down now. Using the booklet to shield his crotch from other members of the congregation, a swift movement of his left hand freed his cock, and the top of it poked out from his blue underpants. Not looking down at himself, not acknowledging that his erect dick was visible, the churchwarden acted as if everything was normal. Jenna couldn't stop staring at his cock. It was more ram rod than sham rod. She licked her lips and made a gesture to him with a clenched fist moving up and down. What a delicious-looking cock he has! She was practically drooling like a dog in heat, in the same way he was drooling at the sight of her pubic bush. And speaking of which, she hiked up her dress and revealed the front of her panties. Attached to them was another paper poppy. Norman's jaw dropped. At the same time, Gordon craned his neck to peer over the top of the organ again and got a grandstand view of Jenna's poppy. "Holy shit!" He spluttered. He quickly sat down on the stool, but not before knocking his books over a second time. Further along the front pew, sat four old ladies all in their nineties, notorious gossips of the church. "I say Margaret, I think the organist is drunk. He's not quite himself. He was dreadfully out of time when he played the Gloria!" "Well really. It's disgraceful. On Remembrance Sunday of all days. Oh my good gracious, Mavis! Look at that! The churchwarden's flies are undone!" Immediately, the four of them leant forward in unison to get a better look. "Heaven's above, you can see his, concern! How shocking! Somebody should tell him!" "Maud, it's times like this that I really envy the youth. They have those fancy telephones that take instant photos." "The last time I saw a man in such a state was in 1943, and I'd just turned eighteen. Those American G I blokes, such good times!" Jenna couldn't wait any longer. The service wouldn't end for another ten minutes. Removing the poppy from her panties, she adjusted her dress and rose from the pew. "Join me in the gents," she whispered, and pressed the poppy into Norman's hand. "Lest we forget!" Norman just nodded, stunned. He glanced down at the poppy. My God, what a precious object. He would treasure it forever. Carefully placing it in his shirt pocket, he zipped up his trousers and discreetly made his way to the toilets at the front of the church. The gents toilets were empty, and Jenna made her way past the row of urinals and into the end cubicle. Moments later, she heard the door open and Norman entered. He nervously glanced round. "Pist, in here!" Jenna said, ushering him inside. She locked the cubicle door and closed the toilet lid. "Who are you?" Norman spluttered. "You're a cunning little vixen! I want to take handfuls of you, you're amazing! You've got me well and truly foxed!" "My name is Jenna," she replied. "And you're Norman, yes? Our new churchwarden?" He nodded. "If you don't mind," she said looking up at him with lust-filled eyes, "I'd love to suck that hard cock of yours." Norman looked like all his Christmases and birthdays had come at once. "Oh Jenna, I'd love for you to suck me," he sighed. "I'd love to cum in your mouth. I'd love to watch you swallow all of my thick cum!" Jenna sat down on the toilet and unzipped his trousers, then unbuckled his belt. Wanting full, unobstructed access to the churchwarden's member, she pulled his trousers and y-fronts down to his ankles. Norman said nothing, he simply stood there, watching her work her magic. He never once wondered why such a young and attractive woman would want to suck his cock so willingly. It had been years, decades even, since a woman had wanted to pleasure him! He was actually getting a blowjob from a stunning redhead, for free!" "What a lovely cock you've got, Norman. I could see how big it was when you gave me that cheeky little glimpse of it in the church service earlier!" She wasn't lying. He did indeed have a nice plump shaft, with big balls, and wiry white pubes. "Some men are like fine wine, they get better with age!" Without hesitation, she impaled her mouth on his shaft. Taking him deep while stroking him, licking him, and sucking him. Norman put his hand on the back of Jenna's head. Jenna cupped his balls, feeling them throb and pulsate, she knew precisely when he was about to cum. At the same time, she ran her other hand up under his shirt, feeling his hairy paunch. "That tickles!" Norman murmured, sighing and groaning. Back in the church, the service had nearly ended, much to Gordon's relief. He really needed a pee. Thanks to Jenna, he needed a wank too, but there wasn't time. Whilst the vicar was reading out a lot of notices, he had just enough time to pop to the gents, relieve himself and head back to the organ to play the recessional hymn. "Mmm," Jenna murmured, her mouth full of cock. Suddenly, Norman heard someone else enter the toilets. "Jenna, someone's come in!" He whispered. "Mmm," was all she could reply, and continued sucking him. Gordon hurried to a urinal and unzipped his trousers. As he began to pee, a loud groan came from the end cubicle. He ignored it and continued relieving himself. The mystery bloke in the cubicle made several loud grunts. Gordon glanced round. "Bloody hell," he muttered. "That poor sod's got a bad case of constipation." He finished, zipped up, washed his hands and hurried out of the toilets, wondering who the unfortunate man was. "Oh, Oh fuck!" Norman groaned, as his climax neared. "Jenna! I'm going to give you a lovely, big creamy surprise!" "Give it to me, Norman!" She felt his cock quiver and his balls tightened in her hand and she got her first taste of his cum. Jet after jet of his thick seed squirted from his cock into Jenna's eager mouth. He took out his cock to allow her to swallow his load and, as she was doing so, he stroked it and managed to squirt a few more sticky blasts all over her face. "Ah," Norman panted. "That was wonderful Jenna, I enjoyed that more than anything. I hope it was as enjoyable for you as it was for me! Did you like all my cum in that sweet mouth of yours?" "Oh I loved that! Your cum tastes so good, Norman!" Jenna lowered her head and planted a kiss on his cock and then on his sweaty, hairy balls. Doing a dreadful attempt at a Northern Irish accent, she added, "It's the way you tell 'em!" "Eh?" Norman said. "My poor attempt at a Frank Carson impression," she replied. "My husband said you resemble him." "You, you're married?" "Yes," Jenna said, standing up. "I'm the vicar's wife." A look of horror appeared on Norman's face. "Oh my God, " "Don't look so worried, Norman." She put her finger to his lips. "Our little secret, yes? Of course, you need to behave yourself from now on. A little birdy told me that you are quite liberal with those wandering hands of yours. No more bum pinching and goosing of any other ladies whilst you're in St. Michael's, is that understood?" He nodded, panic in his eyes. "Say it out loud, in God's name. Because God knows everything." "In the name of God, I promise I'll keep my hands to myself," Norman said. "That's my Norm," she replied, planting a kiss on his lips. "We'd better get out of here. Other chaps will be coming in. You go first." "R-right. Okay." Norman zipped up his trousers, fastened his belt, composed himself and hurried out of the cubicle. He opened the door and glanced round. "There's no-one here. Quick, you dash into the ladies." Jenna ran past him. As she did, she pinched his arse. "Until next time then," she giggled. Norman breathed a sigh of relief and opened the main door that led back into the church. The service had ended and people were starting to file out of the pews. Norman wiped his forehead. His mind was spinning. Not looking where he was going, he almost walked into Gordon, who'd seen him leaving the toilets. "Sorry," he muttered. "No worries," Gordon replied. "Listen, there's a first aid kit and other medicine in the vestry. I can get you some Dulcolax tablets." Norman looked confused. "What?" "No need to be embarrassed. All us older blokes get constipated from time to time. I couldn't help but overhear you in the gents earlier, and you seemed to be in bloody agony with your bowels!" To be continued. By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

Did you bench Pedro Porro? Did you Captain Palmer? Aww.. Diddums. It's OK guys, we're here to turn those FPL blues into FPL laughs with FPL Youtuber and Micah Richard's best mate, Jian Batra! Quick review of GW12 and looking ahead to GW13 with some tasty differential options! Plenty of enthralling chat in Room 101 and Tuesday Social with some fun from Ash Meets World and Nick N Da Hood. We also announce the latest winner in the Content Creator Fund voted for by YOU! Keep it locked like P Diddy's bedroom safe. Follow the Panel on Twitter/X: FPL JUiCE - @fpl_juice Ash - @AshFPLJUiCE X - @FPL_JianBatra Youtube - @FPLJianBatra

A sequel to "Jenna Goes to Church" By Blacksheep. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. A sequel to "Jenna Goes to Church. More fun with the ever-horny Jenna and the good chaps of St. Michael's church and beyond! At the Vicarage Social, Jenna meets an ordained Priest. A full year had passed since Jenna Fox had started attending St Michael's church. During that time, she'd carried out God's work and in the true Christian spirit, brought much happiness to several male members of the church, thus helping them to become better Christians. In her new role as a vicar's wife, she finds there are still many other men of the church in need of guidance,Reverend Simon Morris and his wife Jenna were holding their annual November social at the vicarage. November always seemed such a depressing month, when, after the initial excitement of Guy Fawkes Night, nothing much happened. Christmas was still a little too far away, although the shops had been selling festive stuff since September. It got earlier every year. The usual members of St. Michaels church were in attendance, Gordon Leesmith the church organist and choirmaster, Josh the curate, Bishop George, Yulia et al, plus a few new faces from other churches that Jenna hadn't seen before. Jenna was wearing a low-cut, black velvet dress and a diamond encrusted cross necklace. A couple of times, she caught a tall, serious-looking man in the corner of the room staring at her. He quickly averted his eyes when she looked at him. "Wonder who he is?" The chap was clad in black and wearing a clerical collar, so evidently a vicar or priest of some kind. She knew most of the clergy at the local churches, but had never seen this guy before. Gordon was circulating, and on the hunt for a toilet. Beer always went straight to his bladder. "Great atmosphere Jenna," he said, winking at her. "You look lovely by the way." "Why thank you," she winked back. "You look rather fine yourself. That navy blue suit, Umm. We need more men in suits. Down with casual dress I say!" The organist still turned her on, despite her offloading him onto Yulia's willing friend Martika. "A shame Martika couldn't attend tonight." "Yes, she's been struck down with flu. Been in bed all week." "Aww." They looked at each other. Gordon's face bore an expression that was pretty much screaming, "I am unbearably horny and really need a fuck right now, I know you're the vicar's wife now but I still fancy you like crazy and miss your lips on my cock, " "Er is there a downstairs loo here?" He said. "There's a queue for the upstairs one and I'm bursting for a pee." "Afraid not. Hard to believe in a house this size I know. There's always the back garden. Plenty of bushes and it's dark." Jenna replied, and tossing him a crumb of hope, added. "I might join you out there later." Gordon's face lit up. "Okay. Thanks!" Jenna scanned the living room. Presently, her husband appeared. "Nice to see so many guests. I didn't think so many would turn up!" "I know, It's great!" Jenna couldn't help but notice that there were way more male guests than female ones. "I wonder why that is?" She grinned to herself. "By the way, who's that guy in the corner over there? He looks like he's at a funeral rather than a vicarage social. His face could turn milk sour." Reverend Morris looked. "Oh. That's Father Aiden. He's a Catholic priest. Only been in this neck of the woods for a few weeks. He's taken over at St Gregory's. Prior to that he was based in Liverpool. Huge Irish community there of course, and I believe he was born in Dublin." "Can't get more stereotypically Irish, can he?" The name, the look: Father Aiden had black hair, pale blue eyes and a bone-white complexion. His hairstyle struck Jenna as being somewhat old-fashioned, with sideburns. "He'd be good at playing a vampire. Why's he looking so miserable? Is it because he's in a Church of England vicarage?" Reverend Morris laughed. "Ha! No, my love. All denominations are welcome at this vicarage, we've got the Oakwood Road Methodist guys here too and the Living Earth Free Church. From what I've heard, Father Aiden is just a very serious man. It's just how he is. He's probably enjoying himself, even though he looks miserable." "If he's a Catholic priest does that mean, " "Oh yes. Vow of celibacy." "That's the real reason he's miserable then!" Jenna replied. "Indeed. Whilst I respect his vows, personally it's something I could never adhere to!" "Nope. You like pussy too much, Rev." "Jenna, shush! You're making me blush!" "I'm right though." "You know I can never get enough of your pussy," the vicar whispered in her ear. "I must go and mingle, before I get another hard-on." Jenna sensed the moment was right to get to know the mysterious Father Aiden a bit better. The priest was currently being bored to death by an elderly woman from St. Michael's who was lamenting the state of modern Britain. ", And like I keep saying, this country went to the dogs long ago. Useless, lying politicians, rising crime, rising cost of living. Unbridled filth peddled on every street corner. I imagine, Father, coming from a big city like Liverpool, this small town must seem like paradise to you. Don't be fooled! County lines are a big problem! And the local park. Would you believe it? It's become a dogging hotspot, " Father Aiden said nothing and just nodded patiently at her. Sensing he needed rescuing, Jenna cut in. "Sorry Mrs. Grimes, can I just interrupt and borrow Father Aiden for a minute? I need to discuss something." "Oh be my guest," the pensioner replied. "He's not got a lot to say." "Probably because he couldn't get a word in," Jenna muttered under her breath as Mrs. Grimes shuffled off. "Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Jenna, Reverend Morris' wife. Nice to meet you, Father Aiden." She held out her hand, and he reluctantly shook it. "Hello." The priest spoke at last, in a thick Irish accent, his dour expression unchanging. "You look rather trapped. Too many people here for your liking?" "A little." Father Aiden replied. He looked extremely uncomfortable in Jenna's presence. "I'm still, finding my feet around this area." "I'm sure you'll settle in just fine, Father. Have you tried any of the buffet? My husband's a great cook; he's made some great cakes and, " "Maybe later. I, I would appreciate a cup of tea if possible." "Oh no problem. Why don't you take a seat in the snug? You'll find it more relaxing in there. Less chatter." "Thanks." He skulked off. Jenna took a deep breath. "Blimey, what a cold fish. I'd get better conversation out of a statue. Still, early days. With a little bit of help, he's bound to open up sooner or later." Far from putting her off, Father Aiden's stern exterior only served to fascinate Jenna further. And the fact he was a celibate priest, .hmm. That couldn't possibly be good for him, could it? Moments later, she brought him a cup of tea. "Here you go," she said, putting it on the side table by his chair and taking a seat opposite him. "Thanks, Mrs. Morris." "Jenna, please." He twitched. "Jenna." "I've never met a Catholic priest before," Jenna said, and Father Aiden straightened in the chair and braced himself for the usual questions he was always asked, usually concerning vows of celibacy. He swallowed as he noticed how close Jenna was to him. Damn. She looks so much like Róisín, but even prettier. I can't believe this. "Well, we're not that rare," he mumbled, sipping his tea. "I know very little about the Catholic church," Jenna continued. Nobody in my family is Catholic. Mostly Church of England, and a few Methodists, " "I'm sure your husband can help you with any questions you might have," Father Aiden said, and Jenna wondered if this was his polite way of saying "please leave me in peace." Pretending to be upset, Jenna stood up. "I, I'm sure you're right, Father. I'm sorry for bothering you." She hurried out of the snug. Alone at last, Father Aiden smacked his forehead. "Why does this keep happening to me? Why do I always end up saying the wrong thing?" "Definitely a lot of issues with that one," Jenna smirked to herself. A couple of chips on both shoulders methinks. I'm not giving up on the good Father though. Maybe in time, he'll soften a little." Gordon had successfully relieved himself on the rose bushes in the vicarage's back garden. "Ah, that's better. I'm sure those plants needed a good watering," he muttered, zipping up his trousers. Hearing the back door opening, he spun round. "Hi there," Jenna smiled. "It's a bit cold out here, Gordon. You'll be getting a chill in your organ pipe." "Umm. I was hoping you might be able to warm it up." Jenna glanced round and took him by the hand. "In that case, come with me, " In the garage, Gordon's face flushed red with lust as Jenna leaned against a car, hiked up her dress and slipped her hand inside her drenched black panties. Her aroused smell met his nose and made his stiff cock throb more than ever. Already his pre-cum was leaking out. The fact that she was now the vicar's wife, was turning him on even more. "Oh God, Jenna. You always know what buttons to press," Gordon groaned, as she ran her hand down his crotch, cupping his bulge. "Don't you mean which stops to pull out?" She teased, unzipping his trousers. "Your cock is like the Wurlitzer organ in Blackpool Tower. It's always rising." "Ha-ha. That's why it needs you to play it," he chuckled. Jenna ran her hand down the front of his y-fronts. "Ooh, I'm not the only one here who's got damp undies!" Gordon groaned again. Jenna pulled out his cock and squeezed his balls. As she groped his manhood, she realized just how wet with pre-cum it was. "Nice and sticky, just how I like it." She knelt down and teasingly licked the head of his cock before putting it in her mouth. "Umm yes!" Gordon hissed as the vicar's wife began giving him a good blow. He'd remembered just how brilliantly Jenna was at giving blowjobs. Back during that day in church, she'd given him some superb head. Jenna withdrew and reclined on the bonnet of the car. She rubbed her neatly-trimmed bush of pubic hair and Gordon knew what she wanted him to do. With just one finger at first, the organist began tracing circles around the outside of her wet pussy. Jenna moaned, enjoying the attention, but wanting more. Sensing this, Gordon spread her pussy lips with his finger and pushed inside her, spreading her walls and began to fuck her with it. Then he lowered his head. Very slowly at first, teasing her into a state of desperate pleasure, he tongued her, savoring her juices. "Oh Gordon!" Jenna screamed. She began moving her body in time to his motions, trying to get his tongue to go even deeper. Then without warning, Gordon stopped his treatment, as he felt her hand brush against the head of his prick. "Slide your organ pipe in," she purred, knowing he got such a kick from these corny phrases. "With pleasure!" Positioning the tip of his dick right up against her wet opening, he slid inside her and was soon thrusting with vigor. "Umm, more Gordon! Yes!" He continued pumping her hard and fast, pulling almost all the way out and then slamming his dick all the way back in. He grabbed her hips to steady himself, still fucking her rapidly. Then their coupled bodies convulsed ferociously, and Gordon's pulsating member filled Jenna's snatch with his cum. "Here endeth the organ lesson," Jenna said, planting a kiss on his lips. Gordon kissed her back. "Oh thanks Jenna. I enjoyed that immensely." "And you really needed that!" She replied, adjusting her clothing. "It's not good for an organist to have so much cum building up like that, there might be a risk of a ruptured bellows." Gordon zipped up his trousers. "Far worse than trapped wind!" They both laughed. "We'd better get back to the party. I'll go first, okay?" Jenna headed out of the garage. As she walked round the side of the house, she almost walked straight into Father Aiden. "Oh!" He recoiled in shock. "Mrs, er, Jenna." "Father Aiden! You made me jump! Don't tell me you're looking for a downstairs toilet too?" He blinked. "Um no. I was, er, I wanted to apologies for earlier. I was very rude. Whatever must you think of me? You being the vicar's wife and all." "I'd say you're a chap who's just finding his way in a new place," Jenna smiled. Even in the dark, his watery blue eyes seemed to be staring right into her soul. "Anyways, apology accepted!" Before he could say another word, she planted a kiss on his cheek. "Would you like another cup of tea, Father?" Father Aiden clutched his chest as though he'd glimpsed Satan himself. A look of horror on his face. "What's the matter?" Jenna said, glancing back at him. "My tea isn't that bad is it?" The Priest is caught masturbating "Holy Spirit, come into my heart and show me my sins. Give me a proper spirit of repentance and the grace to make a good confession. Give me your peace that I might not be anxious but rather trust in your abundant mercies." Father Aiden said a prayer to himself. He was anxiously sitting in his confessional, awaiting the arrival of any lost sheep who were in need of his guidance. Here of all places, he needed to be focused on his job as a priest, yet his mind was on other things. Last night, he'd attended a gathering at St. Michael's vicarage. He hadn't really wanted to go, as social events made him uncomfortable, but had gone along to show willing. It had been his first social since he'd left Liverpool. It had all been going well until he'd met the vicar's wife, Jenna. The woman had shocked him to the core. She reminded him so much of Róisín, a twentysomething woman whom he'd developed feelings for back in Liverpool. He'd come perilously close to breaking his celibacy vows with her, they'd kissed passionately a couple of times in the confessional booth, until Father Aiden's nerves and guilt finally got the better of him and he'd pushed her away. Feeling it best to move on before things developed into something more serious, he quit his post and requested to be moved elsewhere. He'd narrowly avoided a scandal. Father Aiden was thirty-five, and had been a priest for eight years now. He recalled his early years, growing up in a small village near Dublin. As rigidly as he'd stuck to his celibacy vows since joining the priesthood, Father Aiden was no virgin. As an eighteen year old, he'd been an altar boy at his local church, and lost his virginity to Sara, a much older married woman who was a member of the congregation. They'd enjoyed passionate romps in the confessional booths, in the vestry, just about everywhere. Sara had a very high sex drive and didn't get any from her dull husband. Then a nightmare situation. Sara had fallen pregnant. Aiden's world had been rocked. In their strict Catholic community, even the thought of getting an abortion was out of the question. Aiden had resigned himself to becoming a young dad, but then just as he was starting to like the idea, fate intervened and Sara suffered a miscarriage. He didn't think it would have affected him so badly, but it did, and he blamed himself. It had been a punishment from God. From that day on, Father Aiden made up his mind to become a priest, much to the delight of his parents. However, much as he tried to bury any sinful urges, Father Aiden struggled. After Róisín, he hoped he wouldn't be attracted to another woman, but now he'd seen Jenna Morris, and been immediately smitten. "Dear God, help me not to be so weak in body and mind. I must cast out these sinful thoughts." He was interrupted by the sound of someone entering the confessional. "Bless me Father, for I have sinned." A middle-aged man said. "It's been a week since my last confession." Father Aiden composed himself and did his duty as a priest. Jenna grinned as an Amazon delivery van pulled up outside the vicarage. "Oh good. It's arrived. That was quick." Reverend Morris was coming down the stairs as she was eagerly opening a parcel. "What do you think?" Jenna said, holding up a nun costume. "Ooh sexy. That'll turn heads at the church hall's fancy dress party next month! How very naughty and sinful. Better hope that Father Aiden doesn't turn up to that, eh? Might prove a bit too much for him! Talking of which, would you mind calling at St. Gregory's and dropping off that book he wanted to borrow?" "No problem," Jenna replied. She picked up the paperback. "The Seeker by S G Maclean. Oh, he's into historical fiction is he? Well good to know he has other interests." Reverend Morris started laughing. "Heh, I don't know how I coped when the curate made that joke to him at the social. I know Josh had had way too much to drink but, dear God, I could've died when he started going on about Catholic priests lusting after choirboys." "What? I must've missed that! It must've been when I was f, er, talking to Gordon." "Yes. Father Aiden didn't see the funny side at all. I don't think Josh will even remember what he said to him. Anyways, I had to apologies!" Jenna couldn't help but snigger. "By the way, who are you going to dress up as for the party?" "Haven't decided yet. You once said I looked like Prince Edward, perhaps I should dress as up in Royal robes and get a crown? Anyways, I must get going. I've got a meeting with Bishop George. What a busy week. Christopher's coming round tomorrow." "It's be lovely to see him. If the weather's nice, we can have a day out somewhere. I know how much he loves dinosaurs, why don't we take him to the museum?" "Sounds great! Okay, I'll be back around four. Take care my love. Do give Father Aiden my best wishes." The vicar embraced her and they shared a lingering kiss, before he reluctantly tore himself away. Alone in the house, Jenna turned to the nun costume. Just how would Father Aiden react? "That would be a risk worth taking," she said out loud. Father Aiden had retired to his study. Saturdays were always quiet, and he relished this calm period. Reclining in a chair, he closed his eyes, Slowly, he unbuttoned his cassock. Before long he'd unzipped his trousers too. He was alone in the privacy of his study. His dick was now standing fully at attention. With mental images of Jenna Morris filling his head, Father Aiden took it in his hand and stroked it. He started talking out loud, as though reading out an erotic story where Jenna was pleasuring him. "She settles to her knees between my thighs, opens my cassock and reaches up to open my trousers." He stopped and moaned. "My willing lamb Jenna starts by licking the tip, tasting my precum. It is like silk. She then takes the head into her mouth and sucks it, darting her tongue into the slit. By now, I am rock hard, but still silent. She then takes my entire shaft into her mouth and keeps it there, running her tongue along the bottom. My cock shivers in her mouth; my only reaction. For what she is about to receive, I know she is truly thankful." Father Aiden was furiously pumping his cock up and down. "I gently place my hand on her head, and utter another prayer. My eyes are closed. I am about to come. I can't explain how glorious a moment this is. My lamb is so skilled, and now her sins shall be absolved." He was panting as he felt his orgasm building. Jenna parked the car in the street opposite St. Gregory's. The church was a grand old building, double the size of St. Michael's. The plaque on the railings described the church in eloquent fashion: ", an edifice in the Early English style, consisting of a basidial chancel, nave, transepts, north porch, lady chapel, and an embattled western tower, added in 1894 and containing 8 bells." "Never been in this church before. Oh well, first time for everything." with her usual bold as brass demeanor, she entered the church. "Wow, this is pretty ornate," she remarked. The place appeared deserted. No churchwardens or other staff anywhere. There was no sign of the priest. Jenna walked around the church, nosey-parkering here and there. She waited for a while, wondering if someone might come out of the confessional, but evidently that was empty too. Then she heard a muffled voice coming from a door at the back of the church. "She knows I am ready and expects me to moan or yell, but all I do is tense slightly, for there are still other members of the congregation in the church. Then she feels my load in her mouth. She swallows everything, letting the last bit rest on her tongue so she can savor it." Father Aiden continued muttering to himself, in between moans. Jenna put her ear to the door. It was Father Aiden's voice alright, and he sounded like he was talking to someone on the phone. Then a load groan made her take a step back.. "What the hell is he doing in there?" She wondered. She was about to knock, but what he said next made her gasp. "She continues to suck my cock, a soft and gentle motion, caressing me with her lips and tongue, the feeling of this is indescribable. When she removes her mouth, she kisses the tip of my cock, and I moan, oh dear God, yes, yes!" Jenna squinted and peered through the keyhole. Her eye widened as she witnessed the priest reclined in a chair, masturbating furiously. He had that same miserable expression on his face, but his pale complexion was tinged with a blush, and he was grunting, seconds later he climaxed, shooting his seed into his free hand. "Oh wow!" Jenna couldn't believe what she was seeing. "No wonder he was so miserable. Just look how horny the poor man is!" She licked her lips. The priest had an attractive uncut cock and to say it was large was an understatement. Though tempted to walk in and suck it right there, Jenna decided against it. "No. Not yet. I must wait for the right moment. And then I'll finally put a smile on this face." As he recovered from his orgasm, Father Aiden finished with a prayer. "God, I thank you for your abundant mercies. No sin of mine is beyond your power to forgive, and your forgiveness has restored my soul to friendship with you. Thank you for never ceasing to love me even when my actions show that I do not love you fully. Thank you for seeking me out as the shepherd seeks the lost sheep." A dull thud outside the door brought him to his senses. Quickly, he wiped the cum of his hand with a tissue and zipped up his trousers. Cautiously opening the door, he looked around. The church was deserted, but there was a vague scent of a familiar perfume in the air, where had he smelt that before? He glanced down. And saw the book. He bent down to pick it up. "Holy Mother of God, " Jenna had been here! Beauty and the Priest Friday night presented a perfect opportunity. Jenna's heart was pounding as she made her way to the clergy house where Father Aiden resided. The nun costume was proving to be quite itchy and uncomfortable, seeing as she wasn't wearing anything underneath it. To be expected of cheap Chinese tat purchased on Amazon. Still, the costume would serve its purpose, she hoped. Father Aiden reclined in an armchair as he read a chapter of the book that had been left in the church. Normally, he would be immediately engrossed in the story, but his mind was elsewhere. "Did she hear what I was saying? She must've heard something." The thought that the vicar's wife might have overheard what he'd been saying was mortifying. Suddenly, the doorbell rang, jolting him back to reality. "Who could that be at this late hour?" The priest mused as he got up. Usually the odd lost sheep called round, mostly Eileen Hattersley, a lonely old widow always in desperate need of a chat and reassurance. Then there was Bernard, a troubled fifty-something man whom Father Aiden suspected was closeted. He opened the front door. What he saw was almost sufficient to make him faint. "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned." "Uh, Jenna? What, the, what are you doing here?" "Well Father, I would've thought my intentions were rather obvious. Please may I come in?" His stern expression remained the same. He took a deep breath as he ushered her inside. "I know why you've come," he said at last. "You left the book the other day, didn't you? You obviously heard me, in my study." "I did," Jenna replied. "And yes, I heard." His ice-cold calmness slipped a little. "Celibacy, is hard," he murmured, staring at the floor. "I can only apologies for the disgraceful things you heard." Jenna raised her hand and touched his cheek. "But you have nothing to apologies for, Father. "Hearing you saying your erotic thoughts out loud was a huge turn-on. And a relief as well. Nice to know that priests have lustful urges like the rest of us." "Oh dear God Jenna, that's just the problem. I'm having too many of these lustful urges. I'm a poor servant of God. I can't stick to my vows. I'm sinning whilst in church, what is God to do with me?" Jenna thought for a moment. "Your opinion of God is different from mine. I was always taught that because he sent Jesus, who died for us, we do not need to fear eternal punishment for sin. You seem such an unhappy man, Father. Why not be truly honest, as God knows your thoughts anyway. Tell me, what do you truly want?" The sight of her dressed as a nun and giggling in a coquettish manner was sufficient to send blood surging to his manhood. He didn't reply, just put his hands to her face and planted a soft kiss on her lips. "Oh Father!" Jenna whispered. The priest recoiled at once. "I-I'm sorry. Please forgive me." "You are forgiven. Now please kiss me again." He gazed at Jenna, moving his head in closer to kiss her on the lips. She pressed up against his body, feeling his hands on the small of her back. He broke it off. Jenna used the opportunity to gently bite the side of his ear, running over his inner ear with her tongue. He stiffened as she moved across his ear, going down until she got to the lobe. Father Aiden moaned, his breath warm on her cheek. His open mouth pressing into it. He didn't respond further. Jenna dislodged herself from his ear, causing him to look up as he moved his head. "Come," he said, taking her by the hand and leading her into the sitting room. Jenna liked the way he was taking control like this. "Yes, Father." In the middle of the room, he stood facing her. "Kneel." She did as he asked. Father Aiden unbuttoned his cassock, revealing a straining bulge in his black trousers. "Please, heal me," he whispered. Jenna needed no further encouragement. Putting her hands together in a prayer, she smiled up at him. "For what I am about to receive, may the Lord make me truly thankful." Slowly, she unbuckled his belt and started on his trousers. Father Aiden's huge cock sprang free the moment she unzipped them, and Jenna was surprised that he was commando under there. "Are all Catholic priests as well-endowed as you?" She commented as she lowered her mouth over the end of his erection. Father Aiden simply shrugged. Jenna sucked on the head, tasting him as she ran her tongue over the sensitive opening, while pumping the shaft with her hand. She took more and more of his hardness into her mouth until she felt him hit the back of her throat. She relaxed and pushed on until she had his entire holy tool in her mouth and she was nuzzling his pubic hair. He groaned as he grabbed the back of her head and thrust into her mouth. The priest could not believe his eyes as Jenna took him into her mouth. Never would he have dreamt that his dull evening would have ended like this. And yet here this beautiful young woman was sucking on his hardened member. He groaned with pleasure at the sensations of her warm mouth on him. He was afraid to move at first, so he stood still, giving her free reign. Jenna continued to suck and was amazed to see Father Aiden's erection become even thicker and harder under her ministrations. She had never seen anyone so well-endowed, putting even her husband to shame. Her hands pumped the bottom of his shaft up and down as she continued to suck. Without saying anything, Father Aiden beckoned Jenna to stand up. He led her to the armchair and raised the nun costume, above her waist. He let out a sigh as Jenna's unclothed pussy was revealed to him. He liked the fact she was unshaved down there, unlike so many of the women he'd seen in porn videos, waxed and plucked so much that their pubic areas reminded him of supermarket chickens. Father Aiden slid down and began to slowly lick, nibble and suck her clitoris. "Oh my God Father, " Jenna exclaimed. Hearing her utter his title like that, emboldened him. He licked and fingered her some more, and could feel her impending climax building, her hips rose up, she arched her back and started to yell. "Oh Father; oh, yes! Father Aiden worked his tongue up inside her womanhood, swirling it around. His upper lip brushed her clit and moments later she exploded, squirting on his tongue and face. With a single finger, Father Aiden took some of the juice and marked the sign of the cross on his forehead. Still, he said nothing! After she'd recovered, he stood up and gently helped Jenna to her feet. He looked deeply into her eyes, and brought her lips to his. They kissed passionately, Jenna tasting her own juices on the priest's tongue. Finally, Father Aiden withdrew, and removed his clothes. Jenna did the same, glad to be free of the itchy nun costume. "Oh," she smiled, noticing his dark chest hair. She ran a finger through it. Father Aiden took her hands in his and pulled her down to the floor. He reclined on the sheepskin rug. The warmth and light from the wood burning stove played across her body as Jenna straddled the priest and slowly lowered herself onto his erect pole. His thick head slid into her, stretching her to the limit. She paused to get adjusted to the mass of flesh inside of her, then continued to push down, filling herself. Father Aiden groaned with pleasure as he felt himself enter Jenna's tight opening. She kept moving up and down his shaft, each time lowering herself further and further until he was completely buried inside of her. The feeling of his erection deep inside her tight wet opening was incredible. He reached up and caressed her breasts as Jenna rode up and down his throbbing rod. Pressure began to build in Father Aiden's groin as Jenna continued to slide up and down his erection, slick with her juices. Her hot tunnel gripped him like a vice and seeing this beautiful redhead riding him, eyes closed, mouth open gasping with pleasure as he kneaded her breasts was too much for him. He felt the pressure continue to build, then a tightening at the base of his balls until he felt like he was about to explode. The waves of pleasure built to a peak until the continuous pummeling pushed Jenna over the edge and her body convulsed as she climaxed a second time. As she writhed in pleasure above him, Father Aiden felt himself explode as he released his load deep into her womb. His cock seemed to spasm forever as he shot spurt after spurt of cum, filling her until he was completely drained. Jenna collapsed on top of him, also completely spent. When Jenna opened her eyes, Father Aiden was staring right back at her, and he was smiling. A truly lovely smile. To be continued. By Blacksheep, for Literotica.

Cannon does it again. What did they do? They made a movie but in this case it's amazing...but not really...Did we like this? I think so. Maybe not. We brought the whole gang from B Action over to double check as well...did it help... Aww hell. Go watch it.

My hot teacher fantasy. A 3-part series.By Androgynous other. Listen to the Podcast at Explicit Novels. I got a temp job a few months later with a firm near to my old college and I still popped in to see Amy for lunch and the occasional meal, and I started to date more seriously. I'd had a few girlfriends, nothing that ever reached the 'serious relationship' status.Other Ladies.I moved back home and got into the same rut. Nothing long term but I made sure that I did what Amy told me and gave more than I got. I got some of my dates into bed, and I always tried to give them an orgasm, several if they'd let me, but nothing serious; or that lasted over a few months.Three years on and I'd just broken up with the last one without even noticing; she'd gone on holiday to the Mediterranean with some mates and never contacted me again after that. She came to my place the first morning back while I was at work, took the few things she'd left there and that was that. Unfriended and locked out on Facebook, never answered my texts, end of story.She'd been the girl that wanted to 'be in a relationship' and sex was only as small part of it. Right up to the point that we started to make love. From our first night in bed and the crazy morning after, she became a sex beast overnight. I was the first bloke to go down on her it seems, and she was dead against it at first. But we'd done a couple of bottles of wine over dinner, and she got daring.To get us past the whole 'dirty' concept, we stripped naked and jumped in the shower and we just played with each other; the excess of wine meant she let me run wet hands across her cunt, I found her clit and stroked it working her to high anxiety, then slipped wet fingers inside her and scrubbed her G-spot. She came, she cried, right there in the shower, pulling my face into her cunt and grinding herself against me, like some kind of porn star.I was her first on many things it seemed. Not the first shag but the first person to make her come. She then had me repeat the procedure - often. In bed we fucked and sucked, almost non-stop. I would wake up in the night to find her pumping my cock to erection, then climb across me and bounce us both to orgasm. She read the 'Fifty Shades' trilogy that she left at my house so her parents wouldn't find them, and soon I was pulling on the pony tail she started to wear and smacking her fine arse as I took her on her hands and knees.Seems that in the Med she just got worse, and pissed with her mates she met someone that apparently was much more in to her than I was. In fact my best mate's girlfriend told me that the new bloke had gotten into her on the first night of her holiday, in the car park of the hotel complex to be exact.I felt a bit slighted and somewhat lonely for a few weeks, but not like I was going to weep about it or anything.A month or so later I went off on a guys' stag weekend for that best mate, and we spent the weekend in the country, driving quad bikes on the Saturday morning, trap shooting in the afternoon, a huge piss-up in the evening, followed by a rather hung-over paintball session Sunday morning, and a hysterical drag hunt with the hen party in the afternoon, trying hard to stay on horses that almost none of us were used to riding, that didn't want to behave and wanted to jump over low fences and for us to fall off them.Miss White.As we trotted across the countryside on rather uncomfortable saddles I saw a face I thought I recognized, and it wasn't until the barbecue of fantastic steaks, farm sausages and burgers served to us in whole baguettes that I looked across the marquee we were in and I finally remembered where I knew her from.It was Miss White, class tutor of my final year at secondary school.Okay, I'm a bloke right; I should have looked longer at her face, but my eyes went straight at the body of the hottest girl in the place in tight jeans and a linen shirt half buttoned over a tailored vest top that showed a narrow waist and perfect stomach, a fantastic bosom with a fine cleavage, and hips in perfect proportion was an arse to match.I appreciated that great rack I'd only ever seen swamped in suit jackets and baggy white shapeless blouses.Back in the day, Miss White was a bit of a hard arse and extremely tough on her classes. With the benefit of hindsight she was, in the scheme of things, an extremely young teacher, and the secondary school I was at ten years back was a tough place for a twenty three year old straight out of education herself."Fit as fuck isn't she," said my mate the groom snapping me out of my reverie. "That's Jo, Melanie's cousin, but they're close like sisters, even though she's a bit older. She's a school teacher, she can teach me whenever she feels like it.""She did teach me," I said, sipping at my umpteenth bottle of beer from that weekend, "and I swear she never looked like that when she taught me history and sociology in my last year.""You lucky bastard," he grinned, "do I have the greatest idea!""Dave!" I shouted after him as he backed away from me."Mellie!" he called across the room, "minor change of plan;"I called after him again but was ignored, so not wanting the same response from some of my other mates who were also groomsmen or ushers and the like I went back to the barbecue for more steak.What I didn't notice was Jo White looking across the room at me, her cousin Melanie telling her that the fine looking guy she had been making eyes at across the room from her was a guy that worked on the same contract as her Fiancé - his mate Terry.Two weeks later, we were all sat around the large church at the rehearsal running through what we'd have to do on the following Saturday morning, and stood across the pews from me was Miss White - Jo - now wearing the usual loose blouse with her working clothes that I was used to."It is Terry isn't it?"I turned around,"Yes," I said, smiling and offering my hand, "I noticed you at the hen and stag weekend and didn't want to embarrass you.""You wouldn't have embarrassed me," she said squeezing my hand."Yeah, Okay," I grinned, "Perhaps I didn't want to embarrass me!" I grinned, "Don't forget, I was surrounded by my piss-taking mates, all the worse for Dave and Mel's free booze.""Okay, I'll give you that, but I noticed you at the barbeque and thought I recognized you; I had to ask Mellie who you were and as soon as she said Terry White it all came flooding back."Before we could chat more, the priest and the father of the bride called us all to attention, and we took our places. Me at the front of the church to one side of the aisle with the other groomsmen. Then the bride and her father came up the aisle followed by the various bridesmaids. I noticed that Jo was level with me. I guessed that meant that I would be the one to escort her back down the aisle after the service. Sweet.We headed to the nearby pub restaurant almost next door for a drink and a something to eat. It was hardly the fully fledged 'rehearsal dinner' you see on American sitcoms but more of a burger and a cold drink kind of thing. It seemed that most of the other groomsmen were either boyfriends or had 'buddied up' to the maids they would be escorting, I did likewise and we chatted. It turned out she was single, and just eight years older than me.She asked me about my love life, and I saw that despite the fact I was now in my late twenties, she was still maintaining just the tiniest bit of a professional detachment and holding on to her position of superiority she'd had more than ten years previously.Okay, she probably just wanted me to know that she wasn't interested in me, but I kind of got the feeling she was talking down to me. Fine, but I was minded to point out to my former school teacher that I had graduated from Brunel with a First in Engineering, to which I had added a Master's degree in hydro engineering the previous year. While I was impressed she was a teacher, I was probably as well qualified as her, if not slightly better. I knew from reading the jobs pages in the Guardian Newspaper that I was at least 15K a year better off than her.We all said goodbye; promising to look after our prospective bride and groom for the three days until the wedding celebration. I pecked Mel on the cheek, then for reasons I'll never understand Jo, before shaking hands with Mel's father.Like a scene from 'Four Weddings and a Funeral' there were six guys all trying to get the groom sorted before our meeting at the adjacent Wetherspoons for our celebratory full English breakfast. It was great, and the sun shone on us all and we managed not to get any food stains on our morning suits.We arrived at the church in fine form, all laughing with just enough buzz for the day's events. We were pushed around by the photographer into various fun poses before we were ordered into the church and the places we'd rehearsed the previous week.Dave looked nervous and as instructed by the vicar looked to his front. From my place across from the altar I could look down the aisle and see his gorgeous bride to be on her proud father's arm, followed by her five bridesmaids, then I saw Jo, dressed in a pale cream off the shoulder dress that complimented the bride's dress brilliantly. For some reason she took my breath away, her make-up was simple but splendid, her hair was pulled up and away from her face matching the other bridesmaids, and it was all I could do to tear my eyes away from her to look at the bride.The service started and I stood opposite and slightly to one side of Jo, stealing the occasional look at her, at one stage I noticed that she was stealing looks at me - when our eyes met, I saw that she flushed bright red and dropped her eyes with an embarrassed smile.While everyone else was singing 'Love divine, all love's excelling' I looked up from my order of service and looked across at Jo."Wow;" I mouthed across to her silently, "you look fantastic;"She flushed red again and mouthed a silent, "Thank you," back to me hiding her blushes behind her order of service.The hymn finished and we all made our way to the vestry where registers and certificates were signed. Finally, the vicar stepped out and announced,"Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Mr. and Mrs. Price!" and the organist played the wedding march and off we went, Mel's father holding the hand of his tiny granddaughter while the rest of us took the arm of the person we'd been stood adjacent to.Still holding her flowers, Jo gently put her hand onto the crook of my elbow and we slowly made our way back down the aisle and out of the church, stopping for photos of course and finally followed out by the rest of the guests."Wasn't that lovely," whispered Jo to me with a big grin."Really nice," I said genuinely, "but then Dave and Mel are a lovely couple.""Aw," said Jo, "you a bit of a softie for all this then Terry?""I suppose I am a bit," I said, "Let's face it, we all want something like this don't we.""Do we?" said Jo looking up at me."Yeah right Miss White, I saw your face through that whole service and if you so much as suggest that you weren't carried along by the whole thing, I may have to call you a liar!"She giggled and hid her face behind her flowers, as we came out of the church into the glorious sunshine. There were lots of handshakes and kisses and congratulations, and before long we were being moved around by the photographer.After the bride and groom photos there was a demand that each pair of groomsmen and bridesmaids had a picture so I found myself with my arm around Jo, while she gazed smilingly up into my face, under the instructions of the photographer. I noticed that Mel was particularly evident during this picture along with other friends of both of us. That photo took some time because we both kept laughing.By this stage, it had become common knowledge that Jo had been my teacher at School and we were ribbed gently by our acquaintances, but soon we were on our way to the hotel to make room for the next wedding that was soon to leave the church.At the wedding reception I found I was sat next to Jo, just across from the bride and groom. The food arrived and the wines. Then it was speeches, and the best man made a toast to the bridesmaids, and one especially for Jo, pointing out that she was a school teacher and taking one of her former pupils to one side to make sure he behaved.Her family all giggled and my mates laughed and pointed. We both blushed, and Mel grinned and waved at her cousin.The meal finished, it was time for the first dance and Dave and Mel took to the floor. Next the groomsmen and the bridesmaids. I stood and held my hand out to Jo and she stood.I pulled her close and she reciprocated holding me close and we moved slowly to Mel's favorite love song, 'Wonderful tonight' by Eric Clapton. After a few moments Jo was resting her head on my shoulder.At the end of that song, a second equally slushy one came on and the rest of the guests were invited to join in. After that one the music speeded up somewhat and most of us took to our seats.Most of the ladies disappeared to change out of their long dresses, and Mel was one of the first back, looking gorgeous as you would expect a bride to look on her wedding day. She was soon joined by my mate, her new husband Dave."Terry Darling," she kissed me on the cheek, "Thank you so much for putting up with the Mickey taking and still looking after Jo for us." She looked back over her shoulder turned back to me and began to whisper, "She won't admit it but I think she has a bit of a thing for you; asked about you at the stag and hen after she saw you checking her out, think she was rather put out that you didn't come and talk to her. She never stops asking things about you, seemed most pleased when I said you'd recently broken up with that slapper friend of mine.""Keeps asking me stuff mate," said Dave, "only this morning she asked if you 'really' didn't have someone coming this evening.""Really?" I said, "I wasn't getting that impression.""You wait," whispered Mel, "I told her you have a thing for cleavages, curves, short skirts and long legs; if you remember her from school you'll know that she doesn't like to show off the curves and the lady lumps. She had to learn to walk in heels for today and, Oh yes, and I told her your favorite color is green - not a color she likes by the way; why don't we see what she comes down; Ah, now will you just look;"I turned round; with one hand on her hip and the other on the handrail she was carefully walking down stairs; shit but she looked fucking hot. She was wearing a tight, plunging, form fitting dress in dark green that fitted her every curve, and the heels she wore made her legs look twice as long. She stalked across to the three of us."Evening Mel," she kissed her cousins cheek and looked me up and down."Looking good Jo," Mel said."Feeling' good Mel." Jo looked at me again."Ah," breathed Mel, "My work here is done, almost;" and grinning walked with Dave, to circulate with more of the guests."Can I get you a drink, Jo?" I asked."Champagne," she said, adding, "please." I made for the bar and got two glasses bringing them over, by the time I got back another groomsman had taken her away to dance, and why not; she looked fucking devastating. Ah well, perhaps not.The dancing continued and I danced with some more girls, including Mel."Every time you dance with another girl, Jo makes evil eyes at them; Terry," she said turning us slightly and she waved at Jo stood at the bar talking to family, "She is so into you, mate!" She gave me a little shake."I'm not convinced," I said, "at the rehearsal she was talking to me like I was just out of 10th year.""That's just Jo," she said shaking me ag

Colleen's first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 6 weeks. At 12 weeks along with her second pregnancy, Colleen and her husband found out that their daughter would be born with a genetic condition called Trisomy 18. Colleen shares her experiences with Trisomy 18 and how she found the right support to help her navigate through it all. Due to IUGR and other medical concerns, Colleen had her daughter via Cesarean with an 85-day NICU stay afterward. To her surprise, Colleen had a third pregnancy just 6 months after her daughter's delivery which ended in a heartbreaking second-trimester miscarriage. After discussing her pregnancy and birth histories at an appointment, Colleen's doctor referred her to be screened for a MTHFR gene mutation for which she came back positive. MTHFR (methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase) is a gene that impacts your ability to process and absorb folate. It can be responsible for complications during pregnancy and is detected through a simple blood test. Colleen and Meagan talk more about what MTHFR means, and what Colleen was able to do to have a fourth uncomplicated pregnancy and a beautiful, smooth VBAC delivery! Needed WebsiteHow to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for ParentsFull Transcript under Episode Details Meagan: Welcome to the show, everybody. We have our friend, Colleen, on with us today sharing her stories and navigating through this amazing journey that we call birth. Birth is such a journey, wouldn't you agree, Colleen?Colleen: Absolutely. Meagan: One of the most unique things about it is obviously through the stories we all hear. They are all unique and individual to us and even one birth that you've given doesn't mean the next birth is the same. So we're going to be talking today about navigating through birth and we know that a lot of the times through these journeys whether it be because of a Cesarean or because of how we were treated or because of how our body responded or whatever it may be, sometimes and a lot of the times, we experience trauma. Trauma is viewed differently from everybody and processed differently. We are going to be talking about navigating through trauma. Then Colleen is actually going to share some of her fertility journey as well. I think that's also a really important thing because we have so many mamas out there– we know. We know. We see it. They have to navigate through fertility challenges. We're going to be talking about that along with a VBAC. Let's get into that here in just a minute. We do have a Review of the Week then like I said, I'm going to introduce Colleen and turn the show over to her so she can share her beautiful stories. This review is from lexieemmarie. It says, “So thankful. I just wanted to say thank you for creating this podcast. I had my baby girl via emergency Cesarean at 30 weeks due to several medical complications with my baby. We spent 95 days in the NICU and while in there waiting for my sweet girl to grow, I started to research VBACs to see if it was right for me. Once I found this podcast, it sealed the deal. I absolutely can't wait to VBAC with my next pregnancy. You all are incredible to listen to because you provide the wealth of knowledge and positivity but are also fun and entertaining to listen to. Amazing job, ladies.” Aww, that just made my heart so happy. Oh my goodness. Thank you so much, Lexi, for your review. As always, we love these reviews. They make our hearts and our minds so happy. You guys, this is what we want. We want you to have that wealth of knowledge. We want to have you feel inspired and guided and uplifted and educated along the way through all of these stories. As usual, leave a review if you haven't yet. We would be so grateful. Meagan: Okay. We have Ms. Colleen. She lived in Michigan. Did you have your VBAC baby in Michigan? Colleen: I did, yes. Meagan: You did. Colleen: My husband and I live in a suburb of Detroit in Gross Point so that's where I gave birth in August of 2024. Meagan: Awesome. Awesome. Okay. Wait, 2024? Just right now?Colleen: Yeah, I'm 2 weeks postpartum. Meagan: Yes, I love it! So really, really fresh. Colleen: Fresh. Meagan: I love sharing stories that are so fresh like that. It is right there in your brain. Colleen: Exactly. Meagan: Oh my gosh. Okay. She has two beautiful children now and one two-week-old baby. Your two-year-old daughter is Gianna? Colleen: Gianna, yes. Meagan: She was born via Cesarean due to chromosomal abnormality. Do you want to share what that means?Colleen: Yeah, I would love to. Gianna has a chromosomal condition called Trisomy 18 that we did find out about through the genetic screening early on in pregnancy that she was considered high risk for coming down with Trisomy 18. As the pregnancy progressed, it became pretty evident that it would be the reality. For those of you who don't know, Trisomy 18 on its surface means that the baby will have an extra 18th chromosome in some or all of their cells. How that manifests itself is through some pretty serious medical complexities that require quite a bit of care. I will get into that a little bit more with my story but that is the quick version of Trisomy 18. She is also now 2 years old and a bubby, sometimes sassy, little girl. Meagan: Is there another name for it with an E?Colleen: Edwards Syndrome, yes.Meagan: I have another friend who has that and I seriously adore him. He is thriving and doing amazing in life. Colleen: Yes. She is a warrior. She is so strong. She is so beautiful and has brought nothing but love and joy to everyone who knows her or who don't know her. There are so many people from near and far who love her. It's great. Meagan: Yes. Awesome and then we've got Sonny who was born via VBAC just two weeks ago you guys. She says, “As a mama of a medically complex child, she is passionate about awareness and education for those within her daughter's condition. She also enjoys running, reading, cooking, and volunteering.” Colleen: Yes, that's a little bit about me. Meagan: I love it. Welcome to the show and thank you so much for being here with us. I would love to turn the time over to you to start sharing Gianna's story. Colleen: Amazing. Thank you so much for having me on. The VBAC Link was a staple on so many of my walks when I was getting ready to give birth. I just found it to be so uplifting and empowering and I'm so glad that I found you as a resource. A little bit of background before getting to my VBAC– it really does begin in about 2022. It starts out with some of those fertility issues that you had mentioned at the start of the podcast. My husband and I decided to start trying after about two years of marriage and we got pregnant pretty quickly. That ended early in a miscarriage at about 6 weeks. But we said, “Okay, let's try again.” We had processed and accepted that miscarriages do happen so we quickly said, “Let's give it another go.” But we had those reservations and that in the back of our mind of moving forward cautiously. We did get pregnant quickly again. Throughout the first trimester, we just kept it tight-lipped. We just told immediate family and then decided we wanted to do the genetic testing of course to find out the gender. We didn't really give too much thought to what else you learn from that bloodwork. As my pregnancy progressed throughout the first trimester, I was feeling confident then at about 12 weeks, we received a call from my midwife. She told us that it was a girl and that she came back high-risk with Trisomy 18. We weren't expecting that. It was scary and a shock and the more we learned and the more we read in those early days was devastating to us. We were just coming off the heels of a miscarriage so then to have this thrown at us was just a real curveball. In order to move forward and navigate that, my husband and I were always planning on keeping the pregnancy so it just meant, what does that mean going forward? After talking with more specialists and maternal-fetal medicine at the health system that I was at at the time, it became very apparent that they weren't really willing to help. We needed to find another health system. We are so fortunate because we were living out of state for quite some time then moved home before we started to try. We were living in Chicago and then moved back to Michigan. University of Michigan, so CS Mott Children's Hospital is for sure the best in the state and one of the best in the country for caring for kids with my daughter's condition. We switched all of my prenatal care there and they provided us with hope and were willing to monitor me and have a very wonderful NICU. They were willing to provide interventions and things after she was born. But as it related to my pregnancy, it completely deterred any sort of plans and any sort of “normalcy” that one might have. It was shrouded in sadness and anxiety and fear and unknown. Each ultrasound and each week was closer and closer to meeting her but also closer and closer to what does this mean for her? What does this mean for our family? I completely abandoned any apps or what size fruit she was going to be at a certain week because she had intrauterine growth restriction. That rulebook and those guidelines went out the window. I was really afraid to connect with her when I was pregnant. A lot of the time I would say, “Okay, be in tune with her. Read to her and rock her and listen to music with her,” and I would just end up in the nursery that we decorated in tears because I just had so much fear and sadness around what was to come. With that being said, because my plans had been derailed, I really threw myself into learning about her condition and learning about what would come afterward. That gave me hope as a very Type A person. I needed to be doing something to prepare and connected with other families from around the country to give me and my husband hope and learn about what life with children with Trisomy 18 looks like and what they are capable of really was our main driver throughout pregnancy. With that said, I did not prepare for birth at all. I didn't learn about how it could possibly go. I really just, like I said, focused on what care for her would look like. Just as a very small example of what that even looked like was when I came to write my birth plan, I probably wrote a couple of things like, “Oh, open to epidural. Do you have a birthing ball?” I honestly had a line in there that said, “If she is born not breathing, resuscitate her.” That is where my head was throughout pregnancy and it just came to however she was going to arrive, that was second to her being here and us starting to care for her. Meagan: Yeah. Colleen: That said, my care team, obviously I was being seen by the MFM department at CS Mott. They were very supportive. I never felt like they weren't looking out for both me and her. I think they wanted me to deliver vaginally and with the understanding that if it came to a Cesarean that would be what it was. My husband and I made it very clear that we wanted to be treated however they would handle a typical pregnancy. Meagan: Anybody else, yeah. Colleen: Yes. Yes. If it meant a C-section, that's what it was going to be kind of thing. She was showing that she wasn't tolerating labor. We got to the end of pregnancy and we were discussing what birth would look like. We all agreed that an induction at 37 weeks was going to be the plan for a couple of different reasons. From our perspective, we wanted to just start caring for her knowing that she was going to have complexities. We were in the best place possible to start that process. There is some research that would show that the longer that babies with Trisomy 18 are in utero, you could run into a stillbirth situation. Now again, it's a little bit more on the anecdotal side because many, many kids with Trisomy 18 are born vaginally at 40-41 weeks and it's how you want to play it. Meagan: You have to weigh it out for what's best for everybody. Was IUGR becoming a problem at all or was she still small but staying within her own growth chart?Colleen: Toward the end there, we were seeing some stagnated growth so yeah, they were very much of the mindset, “Let's just get here here,” kind of thing. She was born at 3 pounds, 12 ounces. She was just a peanut. Meagan: Little tiny, yeah. Colleen: I was induced at 37 weeks without having much knowledge of what the induction process was going to look like for me and I went in at a centimeter. They started with a cervix softener so that they could then insert the Foley balloon. I was in bed a lot. I utilized the tank of nitrous oxide. I labored that way for a while just to mitigate that pain. I was walking around a little bit but honestly, the Foley balloon for me in the whole induction process was probably the worst part. I was in quite a bit of pain after that. Meagan: Were you dilated at all before when they tried to insert that or was it a closed, posterior cervix? I'm assuming at 37 weeks, it's not doing much. Colleen: I was a centimeter when I came in and I was maybe a 2 when they inserted it I believe. Yeah. It was very apparent that my body was probably not ready for that process. Meagan: Yeah. Colleen: Yeah. That also became apparent once the Foley balloon came out but then pretty much I got to 5 centimeters and just parked it there for quite a bit. The pain was pretty intense so I received an epidural after laboring I would say probably 14-16 hours or something like that. The attending OB wanted to take additional steps by breaking my water and my husband and I were talking. We said, “If they break my water and then I don't progress, then what situation are we in?” We also knew beforehand that my daughter did have a confirmed heart defect. We wanted a more gentle approach to induction especially when it came to Pitocin. We really wanted to take it slow and monitor her to make sure she was tolerating it and things like that. We opted for Pitocin before breaking my water and took it slow. I would say probably another 6-8 hours went by. We were taking it very slow. I wasn't progressing and then we started to see some sporadic, not super consistent but enough to keep make us aware of her, decels that she was having. Again, the attending OB really wanted to continue on. She wanted to break my water. She wanted to optimize my chances for a vaginal birth, but again, I think my husband and I were so zeroed in on having her here safely that even the attending OB after observing some of the decels into the night was like, “Okay, I think–”Meagan: That was enough. Colleen: Exactly. She arrived via C-section on October 28, 2022 at 3:18 in the morning which we find incredibly special because 318 is a universal number around Trisomy 18. We just feel that she was meant to be here just as she is. That was enough for us to say, “Okay. We did what we think we needed to do to get her here safely.”Meagan: And happy birthday to her today. She will be 3?Colleen: She's actually turning 2. She's turning 2. Yep, yes. So that was my obviously first birth experience and it was– I can't even say different than what I expected because again, I really went into that not having much of a reference or much preparation at all. I say, “Okay. That was my experience. It was a C-section.” We weren't thinking at the time. We always knew we wanted future children but with the timeline, we had an 85-day NICU stay with her. There were other things that we were focusing on. Meagan: You and the reviewer. You NICU mamas are amazing. Colleen: Perfect review for today. After 85 days, we came home in January of 2023. We were getting settled into home life and then fast forward to about 6 months postpartum. We had just been home for a couple of months and much to my husband and I's surprise, we were pregnant again. From the first miscarriage to my daughter, we had that hope and that mentality of, “We have no reason to think that anything is going to go wrong so let's just operate from the stance that everything is going to be okay.” We took a similar approach this time around. We said, “Okay. We're going to roll with the punches. Gianna's going to get a sibling a little bit sooner than we initially had thought. Let's just play it like everything is going to be okay.” We had met with a geneticist and knew our risk for having another child with Trisomy 18. We were just slightly above the general population when it comes to the statistics there. We weren't super concerned. It was a very, very low risk. We decided to do the genetic testing anyway. I didn't consider myself to be high risk so I moved my care to a little bit closer to home. The University of Michigan is a little over an hour for us. I had a great experience but wanted to move just a little bit closer to home to a practice that is very utilized on this side of town by many women. I did the genetic testing and everything was good. We were having a boy and then the very next day, I woke up to a very large gush of blood. I went to the emergency room. This was on a Saturday. They did an ultrasound and said, “Baby is looking good.” I was again, about 12 weeks at this point. They said, “Sometimes just bleeding in the first trimester happens.” I took that at face value. I came home Now mind you, with my daughter's condition, she has a lot of medical equipment and lower muscle tone so it's a lot of carrying her around and at that point, she was still pretty small but again, I'm pregnant and I'm hauling her medical equipment plus her some days. I'm a stay-at-home mom so I'm trying to navigate all of that. I'm going about my daily life not really thinking much of it just saying, “Okay, that's what it is. The first trimester bleeding.” I went back to the OB that week and they also confirmed, “Oh yeah, it could just be bleeding.” I said, “Okay.” Then about 2 weeks later I'd say, again on a Saturday, it happened again. The bleeding had tapered off then it happened again. I went back to the emergency room to make sure everything was okay and it was a different emergency department. The nurse practitioner came back in after the ultrasound and said, “You have a really large subchorionic hematoma.”Meagan: I was going to ask if that's what it was. Colleen: Yes. We had done research obviously between the two ultrasounds and people said, “If you do, it likely will heal on its own.” Meagan: It takes time, but if you do activity and things like that. Colleen: Yes. I would say probably about 2.5-3 weeks went by with me not knowing I had it. I hemorrhaged again. This time, I really tried taking it easy leveraging my husband, my mom, and my mother-in-law to really help care for my daughter so I would be able to rest and recover. When I had gone to the OB that Monday just because I had been in the emergency room over the weekend, they painted it like there was not much you can do. If you can take it easy, great. If not, I actually went in that Monday and I had brought up the subchorionic hematoma and the provider that I met with said, “Oh, yeah. You have it but actually, I want to talk to you about something else.” It was a potential marginal cord insertion or a velamentous cord. Meagan: Okay. Colleen: She said, “I actually want you to be more aware of this than the subchorionic hematoma.” Again, it was pushed to the side. At that point, in partnership with some other pretty inappropriate and I would say frankly bad bedside manner from the practice, I was looking to move again. They were very insensitive around my daughter's condition. They made me to be othered because of her. I just didn't appreciate that. I was like, “This is a different birth.” I didn't appreciate that treatment. They asked very inappropriate questions about her and her life expectancy and things that were very triggering for a) someone who was fresh out of birth and a very traumatic pregnancy. I just felt that was very inappropriate to ask those things especially when we are also not talking about my daughter. We are talking about this pregnancy at hand that was having some issues. I was looking to switching providers. I have my best friend in the area. I loved her. She was pregnant at the time as well. She loved her OB so I was looking to switch. I couldn't get in for a couple of weeks so I just said, “Okay.” At the next month's appointment, I would switch practices away from where I currently was. In the meantime, I would say about a week and a half later, I was bleeding again. It was on a Monday so I got in that day and I personally had a little bit of peace around it because I just said, “Okay, this has happened before. Baby has always been okay, but let's get in.” So I got in that Monday and I was given an ultrasound and the ultrasound tech put the wand over my belly and then very quickly went out of the room. My heart sank. I just knew what that meant. She came back and I asked, “Was there a heartbeat?” She just shook her head no. I was by myself because my husband was home with my daughter and it was just completely unexpected and devastating. It crushed us because we again had just come off of something so difficult and had so much hope and for that to be the result was quite crushing. I had reached out to the OB that I had planned to switch to and I just explained the situation. She said, “I'd like to still see you.” I went in about 2 weeks after my miscarriage and just laid everything out for her. She shook her head after me telling her about my first miscarriage and then my daughter and this most recent miscarriage. She took it all in and she goes, “I think there is something going on. I don't think these are just flukes so I want to run some tests.”She ordered some pretty extensive bloodwork mostly in the autoimmune space but she also ran for MTHFR. After many vials of blood and a few weeks of waiting, I came back negative for anything autoimmune but I did in fact come back for MTHFR and she is a provider who believes that it does make a difference. She said at the time that she provided us with this glimmer of hope. She said, “If I know that a patient has that, I start them ideally on a pretty ‘easier' regiment or something to get them started to see if that makes any difference in their pregnancies. If not, we can build with Lovenox injections and things like that.” Basically she said, “I want you on additional folic acid.” I took methylfolate and a baby aspirin. But she posed it to my husband and I. “Do you just want to go the Lovenox route? Once you go on Lovenox, I won't be able to walk you back on additional pregnancies. If you have a successful pregnancy–”. Again, knowing this wasn't going to be the answer and that we could potentially have another loss or more issues with pregnancies but we wanted to start on that first step before jumping forward.She said, “Pick up those supplements when you feel like you are ready.” We needed time. We needed months of healing and of focusing on my daughter's care to just really level-set for our family. But in December of last year, we felt strongly that we wanted Gianna to have a sibling so we decided to try again. I got pregnant and began those supplements. From that perspective, my pregnancy was very difficult. Now, it also gave me that time both prior to getting pregnant and then throughout my pregnancy to really– I really wanted to level-set my approach and my outlook on pregnancy. I had felt like I had been always in this cycle of seeking out information or researching based on issues and I think my and as well as my husband, the trauma aspect always played into it of, okay. Here's a symptom. It could be something very normal or it could be these very unique, rare things that we got used to feeling comfortable in that space. Meagan: Yeah. Colleen: I sort of recognized that as something that I needed to work through. I needed to work through some things that were either emotions I pushed aside. I pushed aside the thoughts and feelings around especially that second miscarriage because I said, “Okay, I have a daughter with medical complexities.” I needed to jump back in and I think that distraction helped me push those thoughts away but then I will say they came back. They reared their head and I said, “Okay. It's time for me to deal with them.” So going back to talk therapy has been really helpful for me for working through some of those emotions as well as unprocessed things with my daughter's pregnancy and birth and care and things like that, the realities around her life and how it's impacted myself, my family, and things like that. I went back to talk therapy and then also got pregnant. I thought that was the perfect time to really sort of level-set my outlook on pregnancy. We forewent the genetic testing around. We just said, “What will be will be.” For now, the fourth time, we are choosing to believe that all will be well. We will have these feelings. My first trimester almost felt like the closer I got to the end of my first trimester, the more anxiety I had because I had that second-trimester miscarriage that I just had the opinion that it could happen at any time and why wouldn't it just happen to me again?There were some friends who didn't know that I was pregnant until my anatomy scan just because I felt like I needed to hold it close to my chest. Meagan: Just keeping your space safe. Colleen: Exactly. Exactly. And protecting my own emotions. So the first trimester for my son did have some of those thoughts and feelings. The OB who I had switched my care to was very accommodating. She had a little portable ultrasound machine in her office if I felt like I needed that reassurance that she would provide the ultrasound for me. She asked me how often I wanted to come see her. She was just very understanding and accommodating based on my previous circumstances. It also allowed me the space, especially as I moved through pregnancy, to really think about birth and think about how that process could be healing as well. In my second trimester, I remember going on a walk because I needed to clear my head and just feeling so overwhelmed by not knowing where to start and then I was being hard on myself because I was like, I should have done this with my daughter. I should know these things already. This is my second birth. I was being very self-critical as if I didn't have other things to focus on with her. That's when I came across The VBAC Link. I actually came across it because my husband and I had taken some on-demand birthing classes through Mommy Labor Nurse and we very much so said that we needed a refresher and probably to take some more diligent notes this time around. It was a resource that she has promoted so I checked it out and I just immediately felt like it was going to be so helpful as it was throughout pregnancy just listening to the podcast episodes, referencing the blog, getting your emails, and just really feeling like I had a resource that was going to support me. I can't express how grateful I am for that because– and I'm about to get emotional– of how along pregnancy and that journey has felt. I've constantly felt like I've been up against walls that it's been exhausting to have to overcome and to break down. Meagan: Yeah. It's a terrible feeling to feel so alone in this really big moment in your life and not feel like you know the direction all the time and then also making decisions and then having the world pretty much question why you are making that decision. It's so heavy and that's why I love this community so much because they make you feel connected to people that are not even within reach. They are hundreds and thousands of miles away. Colleen: Absolutely. Absolutely. Just to have that support because it very quickly became my goal to VBAC because I flipped the script after finding The VBAC Link. I said, “There is nothing pointing to my body not being able to do this. I'm going to go for it.” I'm a competitive person and sometimes I'm competitive with myself and I said, “This is going to be a competition and I'm going to do this.” I will say getting into the true VBAC part of it, my OB was very supportive. She said, “I think you are the perfect candidate to VBAC.” She did want to see what my body did closer to which made me a little bit nervous. She was like, “I'm not for induction but I would do augmentation.” I was like, “Okay. Let's see.” Again, it was a motivator to me to do all of the things that I could do to edge myself along kind of thing. The biggest thing I leveraged was walking. I walked a ton and I just found a routine in the business of life that worked for me that I could rely on each and every day and say, “Okay, these are the three things that I'm going to do throughout the rest of pregnancy to a) give myself peace mentally and physically, but also just to say life is busy, but this is what I'm going to do to move myself forward.” It was a lot of walking. It was a prenatal that I just really adored and I just committed to a pretty nutritious diet to make sure that I was nourishing my body in all the ways that I could. Around 36 weeks, I received a cervical check and was starting to dilate and efface. I was about 2 centimeters. Meagan: Wow. Colleen: Yes, with about 70% effacement at that time. My OB said, “Things are looking good. You are on the right track here.” I just kept doing what I was doing. I did opt for a membrane sweep at 38 weeks and I will say having never labored before, between that 36 and 38-week mark, I was having a ton of prodromal labor which was very frustrating because I never knew what was real. We went to labor and delivery once. I got turned away and sent home. I thought it was the real deal. Yes. Prodromal labor is a tease. But after the membrane sweep, it became very apparent that I was actually in labor. That afternoon, my husband and I and my daughter lay on the couch. I was having closer and stronger contractions and we joke that it was absolutely the real deal because all the times leading up with prodromal labor, everything was squared away. My meals were prepped. Everything was squared away with my daughter. My in-laws and my parents were ready to go and jump in. The day that I started to be in labor, our basement flooded with our sewage backed up. Meagan: Oh no. Colleen: I'm actively in labor and my husband comes up and says, “This is absolutely the real deal because this wouldn't have happened if you weren't.” I'm in labor and my father-in-law are bleaching the floor and scrubbing. It was a whole thing and I was like, This isn't funny right now but it will be funny one day. And it's funny. I was able to labor at home for a few hours. I got to the hospital. I had the membrane sweep at noon that day. I got to the hospital around 9:30 PM and was at a 5. I was feeling pretty good about that. I was feeling those contractions of needing to pause. I wasn't really able to talk through but still at that point now knowing what later labor felt like that it was just the beginning of things. I had a wonderful labor and delivery nurse who was super supportive. I never felt being there like I had to convince anybody. They knew that my plan was a VBAC. The attending OB was cool with it. My OB lived just a few minutes away from the hospital and said that she would be there within a moment's notice when I did deliver so I would have her for the moment of. I got to a 5. They did put me on the monitors and had me hooked up so my movement was pretty limited which kind of limited what I was able to do. I wanted to walk a little bit more. I was only able to sit on the birthing ball in a certain area of the room. That was a little bit tricky. The shower was really nice and I did appreciate laboring in the shower but it was the attending OB who had checked me when I first got there and determined I was a 5. A few hours later, the labor and delivery nurse checked me and said, “Oh, I think you are a 7.” My goal was to get to active labor before I decided if I wanted an epidural but ideally, I wanted to go unmedicated. So when they said I was a 7, I was like, “Oh, okay. All right. That's the motivation I needed to keep pushing on. I can do this.” My contractions were becoming more frequent but they weren't getting stronger. It almost felt like at a moment's notice when they had to put the IV in or if the pain was too intense that I would start to space out again which I found to be interesting. But when a few hours went by, the pain was intensifying. They wanted to check me again and it was the OB this time who had checked me earlier and she said, “Oh, you're a 6.” My husband and I said, “Well, they said I was a 7 when they checked me last time.” She said, “Yeah, but I've got the frame of reference and you're more of a 6.” That messed with my head. Meagan: I'm sure. Colleen: My breathing was no longer effective. The pain was getting to me. The next step they wanted to take was breaking my water. I just didn't feel like I was in the headspace to continue on without the epidural. Meagan: You were mentally derailed. That can happen. Colleen: Yeah. When it came to my birth plan this time around, I was a little bit more descriptive because I had done more research. I wanted to go the unmedicated route if I absolutely could. If not, at least active labor. I really didn't want any augmentations or interventions when it came to breaking my water or Pitocin. I really wanted to be able to do it on my own but I will say and I think this is one of my bigger takeaways from this birth is that even when things don't go according to plan, you really have to trust your gut. I will say in those moments, my gut was telling me I think what needed to happen to service the overall goal which was my VBAC. I said, “Okay. I think in order for my body to relax, I want the epidural.” I get the epidural. My body did just that. I was able to relax. My contractions were getting closer together again. They did break my water and now we were into the morning hours here. I get a call from my OB and she said, “Hey, I'm aware of your situation. I see that your contractions are getting closer together but they are still not at that strength that we are really wanting to see.” She said that, “If you are okay with it, they want to start me on very low doses of Pitocin.” She said, “I think you will need a whiff of it in order to get to where you need to be.” My husband and I looked at each other and I think because of our experience with Pitocin previously and not wanting to stall out or anything go wrong, we really struggled with that piece but I think ultimately, we said, “Okay, we're already here. If this is what my OB thinks this is what I need–” and again, I personally felt okay with moving forward in those directions, “then, let's give it a try.” She was absolutely right. They started at a 1 and bumped it up 45 minutes later. I was feeling some pressure and I wanted to switch positions. I had the nurse come in to help me. She lifted up the blanket to move me and she said, “Oh, his head is right here.” He had been crowing for we don't know how long.Meagan: Oh my gosh. Colleen: My husband looks down and he goes, “Yeah, his head is poking up.” My OB gets there. It was super relaxed. She just walked in. She had her sunglasses on. She was just like, “Okay, let's do this.” She was getting set up. He had a bunch of dark hair and she was giving him a faux-hawk while she waits for things to get set up. For the moments that led up to that with anxiety around the interventions, the moment of his birth was very relaxed, very calm– Meagan: Lighthearted. Colleen: It had this great energy around it. I pushed for about 15 minutes and he was born. Meagan: Oh my gosh. That is amazing. What a way to end such a lead-up to get to this moment in your life. Colleen: Yes. His birth, the moment of his birth and the half-hour leading up was so joyous and healing like I had always hoped it would be and exactly what I think my heart needed. Just not necessarily VBAC-related, but I think I also struggled with all of the needs of my daughter and having now split time, I think going from one to two for some mamas can conjure up those feelings and that guilt around what your firstborn is not getting especially with all of her extra needs and things. I was really feeling that guilt. Now he's here and he is exactly what my family needed. He is just this puzzle piece that was missing. We didn't know it. We didn't know it until he was here and now we feel that way on so many levels. Meagan: Isn't that crazy sometimes? This is one of the coolest things I think about being a doula is that we see these couples and they think that their life is so amazing and it is. Don't get me wrong. It is amazing. They think that they love each other more than they ever could love each other. I can see the love in their eyes. I can see the support as the labor goes and then this human being enters their family and like you said, it's just this puzzle piece that fit that you didn't know you were missing. It's this extra joy and this deeper love that they didn't even know existed and it's one of the coolest things to see families transform. Yeah. It's absolutely amazing. Even from no kids to one kid and from one kid to four kids, it doesn't matter. Like you said, it's the puzzle piece that they didn't know they were missing. Colleen: Absolutely. I just can't wait to watch my daughter learn from him and him learn from her. That relationship– I even had the thought where I was like, “I'm the most important thing to my daughter,” then I'm like, “Okay, but she's going to have a sibling and that is such a gift in and of itself that I just am happy to be able to provide that,” but to your point, it is. It's a love unlike any other love. You will always obviously hold your partnership with your partner. It's so important and so instrumental to providing that love for your children as well but that love that you get from birthing a child is unparalleled. Meagan: Oh my gosh. It's so amazing. It is so amazing. I feel so grateful as a doula and as someone who is done having kids– my youngest is 8 years old now but I get to keep living through all of these couples. It's just so amazing. Oh, well congratulations. Colleen: Yes. It's so beautiful. Again, it didn't go on the micro-level according to plan, but on the macro-level and in my big-picture goal of having a VBAC, it was all I could ask for. Rolling with the punches and I will say again, going back to the beginning of the podcast and sharing that I'm a very Type A person, I think had my past not happened, any of these little interventions that were needed throughout this birth could have also derailed me or discouraged me and I just think all of these experiences I had up until this point taught me that rolling with the punches and just understanding that things might not always go according to plan but healthy me, healthy baby– Meagan: And a good experience. Colleen: Exactly. Meagan: Rolling with the punches while trusting your intuition because some of those punches might look like punches but it's actually what you need. Colleen: 100%. Trusting your gut, advocating for yourself, also important to keep in mind. Meagan: Super important. Well, before we go, I wanted to quickly give some more depth into some of the things that you had brought up along the way. We talked about your daughter's condition and then there was something that you said that is a really big tip that I give to my clients when it comes to breaking the waters versus starting Pitocin. It's okay if you don't agree with me, everybody out there. A lot of people would rather break water over starting Pitocin because it's the “more natural way to get things going”. But I'm such a person of, let's try a whiff of Pitocin that we can turn off, but if we are artificially meaning we are breaking the bag of waters by ourselves against mother nature's choice, we can't patch that back up and we don't know what's going on so we don't know if baby's in a weird position. We don't know if baby is too high. We don't know what's going on so sometimes I think just starting that 1-4 mL drip of Pit and then you can always turn it off and it's gone. I was going to say that's weirdly one of my suggestions that over all of my years of doing this, I would weirdly suggest that sometimes over breaking your water. That really depends on where we are at too. If we are 9 centimeters and baby is +2 station, we're really engaged, I dont know. It might change. But if we are at the point where you were at, I actually would suggest that. I wanted to really quickly talk about VCI and marginal. So velamentous cord insertion. You mentioned that the OB was like, “Yes, subchorionic and we're here but then we've also got this.” With VCI, that is where the cord is inserted abnormally into the placenta. It can cause things like IUGR which we talked about earlier so intrauterine growth restriction. I don't know if they gave you any stats on this but it's a 1% chance of that happening with a singleton baby, a 6% chance with twins and then if they do share the same placenta, it can go up. I want to say it's upward of 15%, so much higher. But a lot of the time, even VCI babies carry to term and everything is okay. I do want to throw it out there that a lot of providers do suggest a Cesarean with VCI. I don't know if you've ever heard of that. People can have vaginal births but a lot of providers will suggest Cesareans. If you have VCI or are being told that you have VCI, just know that might be a conversation and you want to discuss that with your provider earlier on. She also mentioned a marginal cord insertion which is where that attaches to the side I believe so also an abnormal insertion. I don't know. Did your provider tell you anything about that? Colleen: Not the statistics around it but they also said that I was 6 months postpartum, post-C-section when I did get pregnant again so their recommendation I think regardless was going to be a repeat C-section. Meagan: Yeah, so it can happen. Then last but not least, I just want to throw out anything that you have about MTHFR to the listeners who may have gone or are going through experiences like you. MTHFR really depends on a provider. Some people still roll their eyes at it but it's definitely a thing. Do you have any suggestions toward anybody who may have it or maybe finding out that process?Colleen: Yeah. Meagan: Or going through the process?Colleen: For sure. Just through my own research, again, my OB was like, “Just additional folic acid.” Meagan: I love that you mentioned that by the way. Colleen: So I obviously am no expert or dietician or nutritionist but when you do have MTHFR, you can either have homozygous or heterozygous mutations. There are also two different variations. There's the A variant and the C variant. I think there is research around the severity or the impact of each of the variants on fertility and things like that but sort of the biggest takeaway when it comes to MTHFR is that it can make you more prone to clotting issues as well as malabsorption or the inability to use folic acid effectively. That is why a lot of research will indicate that you should be on the purest form of folate which is methylfolate because it's so easy for your body to absorb when you do have the MTHFR mutation and then when it comes to having additional methylfolate, essentially I found a prenatal that had methylfolate and was just chock-full of a bunch of good stuff. I was also taking additional micrograms of methyl folate on the side just as a pure supplement. Personally, I found that to be helpful and again, that is something that I baked into that consistent routine of mine making sure I was on a really optimal prenatal as well as taking the methylfolate every day. In addition to the baby aspirin, that was to mitigate some clotting issues. The other thing I will plug is a resource and a follow on Instagram if you don't already follow is Lily Nichols. Meagan: Yes. We love her. She has been on the podcast. We have her books. Colleen: Yes, exactly. In addition to when you know you have MTHFR, just really ensuring that you are getting proper nutrition and that is top of the line in pregnancy when you are trying every day of your life basically. I definitely broke and cheated with my little guilty pleasures here and there of course. But I really largely throughout pregnancy tried to stick to a really vitamin and nutrient-dense diet. Meagan: Yes. I don't know what prenatal you took and I don't judge you for any other prenatal of course. We love Needed but you said the optimal amount. That's what we are finding. So many of these prenatals don't have the optimal amount and they don't have the purest forms. We love Needed and truly 100% suggest it. But yeah, exactly what you said. It's so important. It's so important.Colleen: Exactly. That would be my advice to anyone who wonders. I would also advocate and press to be tested if you are having issues. I just think it would be so beneficial just to have that piece of information in your toolbox so that if you do want to ask either on your own or you do want to press your provider to take it seriously, then I would definitely recommend just saying, “Hey, can I get the bloodwork to find out?” Then you can go from there. Meagan: Yeah. Yeah. Bloodwork. You can start there and know. Colleen: Exactly. Meagan: Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for this amazing information along the way, your beautiful stories, and thank you for taking the time to share with us. Colleen: Thank you so, so much for having me. It was such a pleasure. Meagan: Absolutely. ClosingWould you like to be a guest on the podcast? Tell us about your experience at thevbaclink.com/share. For more information on all things VBAC including online and in-person VBAC classes, The VBAC Link blog, and Meagan's bio, head over to thevbaclink.com. Congratulations on starting your journey of learning and discovery with The VBAC Link.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-vbac-link/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Happy National Midwifery Week!We are so thankful for and in awe of all midwives do. Great midwives can literally make all the difference. Statistical evidence shows that they can help you have both better birth experiences and outcomes.Meagan and Julie break down the different types of midwives including CNMs, CPM, DEMs, and LPM as well as the settings in which you can find them. They talk about the pros and cons of choosing midwifery care within a hospital or outside of a hospital either at home or in a birth center. We encourage you to interview all types of providers in all types of settings. You may be surprised where your intuition leads you and where you feel is the safest place for you to rock your birth!Midwifery-led Care in Low- and Middle-Income CountriesEvidence-Based Birth Article: The Evidence on MidwivesArticle: Planning a VBAC with Midwifery Care in AustraliaThe VBAC Link Supportive Provider ListNeeded WebsiteHow to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for ParentsFull Transcript under Episode Details Meagan: Hey, hey, hey. You guys, we're talking about midwives today, and when I say we, I mean me and Julie. I have Julie on with us today. Hello, my darling. Julie: Hello! You know, sometimes you've just got to unmute yourself. Meagan: Her headphones were muted, you guys. Julie: Yeah. That's amazing. Meagan: I'm like, “I can't hear you.” You guys, guess what? This is our first month at The VBAC Link where I'm bringing a special subject. Every month we are going to have a week and it's usually going to be the second week of the month where we are going to have a specific topic for those episodes of the week and this is the very first one. It is National Midwives' Week so I thought it would be really fun this week to talk about midwives. We love midwives. We love them. We love them and we are so grateful for them. We want to talk more about the impact that they leave when it comes to our overall experience. Julie: Yes. Meagan: The overall outcomes and honestly, just how flipping amazing they are. We want to talk more and then we'll share of course a story with a midwifery birth. Okay, Julie. You have a review. I'm sticking it to her today to read the review because sometimes I feel like it's nice to switch it up. Julie: Yeah. Let's switch it up. All right, this review– I'm assuming “VBAC Encouragement” is the title of the review.” Meagan: Yes. Julie: “VBAC Encouragement”. It says, “My first birth ended in an emergency Cesarean at 29 weeks and I knew as I was being rolled into the OR that I would go for a VBAC with my next baby. Not long after, The VBAC Link started and I was instantly obsessed.” I love to hear that. “I love the wide range of VBAC and CBAC stories. Listening to the women share honestly and openly was motivating and encouraging. As a doula, this podcast is something that I recommend to my VBAC clients. I'm so thankful for the brave women sharing the good, bad, and ugly of their stories and I'm thankful for Meagan and Julie for holding space for us all.” Aww, I love that. Meagan: I do too. I love the title, “VBAC Encouragement.” That is what this podcast is here for– to encourage you along the way no matter what you choose but to bring that encouragement, that empowerment, and the information from women all over the world literally. All over the world because you guys, we are not alone. I know that sometimes we can feel alone. I feel like sometimes VBAC journeys can feel isolating and it sucks. We don't want you to feel that way so that's why we started the podcast. That's why I'm here. That's why Julie comes on because she misses you and loves you all so much too and we want you to feel that encouragement. Meagan: Okay, you guys. We are talking about midwives. If you have never been cared for by a midwife, I think this is a really great episode to learn more about that and see if midwifery care is something that may apply to you or be something that is desired by you. I know that when I was going along with my VBAC journey, I didn't interview a midwife actually at first. I interviewed OB after OB after OB. Julie did interview a midwife and it didn't go over very well. Julie: No, it was fine. It just didn't feel right at that time. Meagan: What she said didn't make it feel right. What I want to talk about too and the reason why I point that out is because go check out the midwives in your area. Check them out. Go check them out. Really, interview them. Meet with them but guess what? It's okay if it doesn't feel right. It's okay if everyone is like, “Go, go, go. You have to have a midwife. OB no. OB no.” That's not how we are in this podcast. We are like, “Find the right provider for you.” But I do think that midwives are amazing and I do think they bring a different feel and different experience to a birth but even then sometimes you can go and interview a midwife and they're not the right fit. We're going to talk about the types of midwives. This isn't really a type. We're going to be talking about CPM, DEM, and LPM. Julie: In-hospital and out-of-hospital midwives, yeah. Meagan: Yeah, but I also want to talk about the word “medwives”. We have said this in the past where we say, “Oh, that midwife is a ‘medwife'” and what we mean by that is just that they may be more medically-minded. Every midwife is different and every view is different. Like Julie was saying, in-hospital, out-of-hospital, you may have more of a ‘medwife' out of the hospital, but guess what? I've also seen some out-of-hospital midwives who act more like, ‘medwives', really truly. Again, it goes back to finding the right person for you. But can we talk about that? The CPM or DEM? CPM is a certified professional midwife or direct entry midwife, right? Am I correct?Julie: Right. It's really interesting because all over the world, the requirements for midwifery are different. You're going to find different requirements in each country than in the United States, every state has its different requirements and laws surrounding midwifery care. In some states, out-of-hospital midwives cannot attend VBAC at all or they can as long as it's in a birth center. Or sometimes CNM– is a certified nurse midwife which is the credential that you have to have if you are going to work in a hospital but there are some CNMs who do out-of-hospital births as well. There is CPM which is a certified professional midwife which a lot of the midwives are out-of-hospital. That means they have taken the NARM exam which is the national association of registered midwives so they are registered with a national association.Meagan: Northern American Registry of Midwives. Julie: Oh yes. They have completed hundreds of births, lots and lots of hours, gone through the entire certification process and that's a certified midwife. Now, a licensed midwife which is a LDEM, a licensed direct-entry midwife just simply means that they hold licensure with the state. Licencsed midwife and certified midwife is different. Certified means they are certified with the board. Licensed means they are licensed with the state and usually licensed midwives can carry things like Pitocin, Methergine, antibiotics for GBS and things like that which is what the difference is. Licensed means they can have access to these different drugs for care. Meagan: Like Pitocin, and certain things through the IV, medications for hemorrhage, antibiotics, yes. Julie: Right, then CPMs who are certified, yeah. There are arguments for both. And DEM, direct entry midwife means that they are not certified or licensed. That doesn't mean that they are less than, it just means that they are not bound by the rules of NARM or the state. Now, there are again arguments for and against all of these different types. I mean, there are pros and cons to holding certification, holding licensure, and not holding certification and not holding licensure. Each midwife has to decide which route is best for them. Certified nurse-midwife obviously has access to all of the drugs and all of the things. They are certified and licensed. You could call it that but they have to have hospital privileges if they want to deliver in the hospital. You can't just be a CNM and show up to any hospital to deliver with them. They have to have privileges at that hospital. They have to work and be associated with a hospital just like an OB. An OB has to have privileges at any hospital. They can't just walk into any old hospital and deliver a baby. Meagan: Right. I think it's important to know the differences between the providers who you are looking at. Like she was saying, with a CNM, you are more likely to have that type of midwife in a hospital setting than you would be outside of the hospital but sometimes there are still CNMs who have privileges and choose to do birth outside of the hospital. I think it's an important thing to one, know the different types of midwives and two, know what's important to you. There are a lot of people who are like, “I will not birth with anyone else but a CNM.” That's okay. That's okay but you have to find what works best for you. Julie: Sorry, can I add in? Meagan: You're fine. Yeah. Julie: It's also important that you are familiar with the laws in your state if you are going out of the hospital. I don't want this episode to turn into a home birth episode. It should be about all of the midwives in all of the locations, but also, know what the laws are in your state and in your specific area about midwives. In Utah, we are really lucky because we have access to all the types of midwives in all the different locations, but not everywhere is like that. Yeah. Just a little plug-in for that. Meagan: Yes. I agree. I agree. I did mention that I didn't really go for midwifery care when I was looking for my VBAC– Lyla, my second. I don't even know why other than in my mind, this is going to sound so bad but in my mind, I was told that midwives are undereducated. Julie: Less qualified? Meagan: Less qualified to support VBAC. I was told this by many people out in the world and I just believed it. Again, I have grown a lot over the years. It's been so great and I'm glad that I have. That's just where I was.Julie: A lot of people think that though. People don't know. They just don't know. Meagan: No, they don't know so I wanted to boom. Did you hear it? I'm smashing it. Julie: Snipping it. Meagan: That is a myth that is going to be smashed. Midwives are fully capable of supporting you during your VBAC journey. We are going to start going over some stats and things about how midwives really actually do impact VBAC in a positive way but you may even run into and at least I know there are some places here in Utah where providers kind of oversee the midwifery groups in these hospitals and a lot of them will say that midwives are unable to support VBAC. That's another thing that you need to make sure you are asking if you are going in the hospital when you are birthing with midwives because a lot of times you are being seen with your midwife, you're treated by your midwife and everything is great. You've got this relationship with these midwives and then you go into labor and all of a sudden you have an OB overseeing your care because that midwife can oversee your pregnancy but not your birth. Know that that is a thing so make sure that if you are birthing in a hospital with a midwife that you ask, “Will I be birthing with the midwives or am I going to be seen by an OB?” But also know, like I said, you can be seen in a hospital by a midwife. Okay, let's talk about some evidence and what midwives bring to the table and maybe some differences that midwives bring to the table because I do think that in a lot of ways, it is scary to think, Okay. If I have to have a C-section, if I do not have this VBAC and I have to go to a C-section and I have to be treated by an OB– because midwives do not perform Cesareans. They do assist. Let me just say, a lot of midwives come in and they assist a Cesarean, but they do not perform the main Cesarean, that can be intimidating because you want your same provider but I don't know if that's necessarily needed all of the time. Maybe to someone that is. But just know that yes, they cannot perform a Cesarean but they often can assist. That's another good question to ask your midwife, especially in the hospital. If I go to a Cesarean, who will perform it and will you be there no matter what?Okay, let's talk about it. Let's talk about the evidence. Let's talk about experiences and how they can differ. Julie: Do you know what is so funny? I want to go back and touch on the beginning where you said you didn't know and you thought that midwives were less qualified and honestly especially in-hospital, in-hospital midwives– I want everyone to turn their ears on right now– have the exact same training and skills to deliver a baby vaginally as an OB does. The difference between a midwife and an OB in a hospital is a midwife cannot do surgery. I just want to say that very concisely. They are just as qualified. They can even do forceps deliveries. They can do an episiotomy if an episiotomy is necessary. They can do vacuum assist. Well, some hospitals have policies where they will or will not allow a midwife to do forceps or a vacuum but they can administer all different types of medications. They can literally do everything. They can do everything except for the surgery in the hospital.Out of the hospital, I would argue that they still have similar training depending on if they are licensed or not. They may or may not be carrying medications like Pitocin, Methergine, antibiotics, IV fluids, and things like that. But out-of-hospital midwives, many of them, at least the licensed ones, carry those things and can provide the same level of care. The only difference between– not the only difference, a big difference between out-of-hospital midwives and in-hospital midwives is they don't have immediate access to the OR and an OB. But guess what? In states like Utah and many, many states operate similarly, there are very strict and efficient transfer protocols in place so that when a midwife decides you need to transfer, say you are birthing at home, first of all, a midwife is going to be with you a big chunk of the time. They are going to be with you. They're going to be noticing things. They're going to be seeing things. They're not going to be there for just the last 10 minutes of deliveries like these OBs are. They are going to be in your house. I feel like out-of-hospital midwives are more present with you than in-hospital midwives even. They're going to notice things. They're going to see things. They're going to notice trends a lot of the time before a situation becomes emergent if you need to be transferred. There are those random last-second emergencies and there are protocols for how to handle those too, but the majority of the time when there is a transfer needed, you are going to be received at the hospital. The hospital is already going to have your records. They're already going to know what you're coming in for and they're going to be able to seamlessly take over your care, no matter what that looks like there. Now there are rare emergencies when you might need care within seconds. However, those are incredibly rare and that is one of the risks. Those are some of the risks that you need to consider when you think about out-of-hospital versus in-hospital care. But often, I have seen many instances where things have safely gotten transferred to a hospital before they reach the level of needing that severe emergent care. I think that is the biggest thing people don't understand. I don't know how many people I've talked to as a doula and as a birth photographer where they don't want to birth at home because they don't understand the level of care that is provided by out-of-hospital midwives. I'm thinking of a birth I just went to last summer and she was thinking about home birth but the husband was like– this was 36 weeks so they weren't comfortable transferring or anything like that, but I was like, “These home birth midwives are trained in emergencies. They know how to handle all of the same obstetric emergencies in the exact same ways that they do in the hospital. They know how to handle them and address them. If a transfer is necessary, they are going to transfer you. They carry medication. They have stethoscopes and fetal monitors and everything that they do in the hospital to care for you.” The dad was like, “Oh, I didn't know that.” It's not your mom coming to help you deliver your baby. It's a trained, qualified medical professional. I don't know. I saw this quote. Never mind. I'm not circling back. I'm going in a completely different direction. I saw this quote or a little meme thing on Facebook the other day. I was going to send it to you but I didn't. It said something like, “Once your provider and birth location is chosen and locked in place, choice is mostly an illusion.” Meagan: Wow. Mostly an illusion. Julie: Yes. Like the fact that you have a choice in your care is mostly an illusion. I was thinking about that and I was like, Is it really? I've seen some clients really advocate hard, and stuff like that. But I have also seen the majority of clients where providers, nurses, and birth locations have a heavy sway and you can be convinced that things are absolutely necessary and needed by the way that you are approached and if you are approached a different way, then you might make a different choice, right? The power of the provider and the birth location is so big and massive that choice, the fact that you have a choice involved, is mostly an illusion. I was sitting with that because I see it. I've said it before and I'll say it a million more times before I die probably that birth photographers and doulas have the most well-rounded view of birth. Period. Because we see birth in home, in birth centers, in hospitals, in all of the hospitals, in all of the homes, in all the birth centers, with all of the different providers. We can tell you what hospital– I mean, there are nurses at one hospital that will swear up, down, and sideways that this is the way to do things and the next hospital 3 miles down the road is going to do things completely different and their nurses are going to swear by a different way to do things because of the environment that they are in. Meagan: Yeah. 100%.Julie: So if you want to know in your area what hospitals are the best for the type of birth that you want, talk to a birth photographer. Talk to a doula because they are going to be the ones with the most well-rounded view. Period. Meagan: Yeah. We definitely see a lot, you guys. We really do. Remember, if you are looking for a doula, check out thevbaclink.com/findadoula. Search for a doula in your area. You guys, these doulas are amazing and they are VBAC-certified. Julie: What were we going to circle back to? You were saying something. Meagan: Well, there's an article titled, “Effectiveness of Midwifery-led Care on Pregnancy Outcomes in Low and Middle-Income Countries” which is interesting because a lot of the time, when we are in low and middle-income countries, the support is not good. Anyway, they went through and it said that “10 studies were eligible for inclusion in the systemic review of which 5 studies were eligible for inclusion in the meta-analysis. Women receiving–”Julie: I love meta-analyses. They are my favorite. Yeah. Sorry, go ahead. Go on. Meagan: I know you do. It says, “Women receiving midwifery-led care had a significantly lower rate of postpartum hemorrhage and reduced rate of birth–” How do you say this, Julie? It's like asphyxia? Julie: Asphyxia? Meagan: Uh-huh. I've just never known how to say that. It says, “The meta-analysis further showed a significantly reduced risk in emergency Cesarean section. Within the conclusion, it did show that midwifery-led care had a significantly positive impact on improving various maternal and neonatal outcomes in low and middle-income countries. We therefore advise widespread implementation of midwifery-led care in low and middle-income countries.” Let's beef this up in low and middle-income countries. But what does it mean if you are not in a low and middle-income country? Julie: Well, I see the same and similar studies showing that in the United States and all of these other bigger countries that are larger and more educated. It's interesting because– sorry. I have a thought. I'm just trying to put it together. Meagan: That is okay. Julie: Midwifery-led care is probably more accessible and maybe accessible isn't the right word. It's more common probably in lower-income countries. I'm thinking third-world countries and second-world countries because it's expensive to go to a hospital. It's expensive to have an OB. In some countries like Brazil, the C-section rate is very, very high and it's a sign of wealth and status because you can go to this private hospital with these luxury birth suites and stay like a VIP, get your C-section, save your vagina– I use air quotes– “save your vagina” by going to this affluent hospital. Right? Meagan: Yes. Julie: I think in lower-income countries, it's going to be not only an easier thing to do but kind of the only thing to do, maybe the only choice. And here, it's funny because here, out-of-hospital births– first of all, insurance is stupid. In the United States, insurances are so stupid. It's a huge money-making organization, the medical system is. Insurance does cover a big chunk of hospital births and they don't cover out-of-hospital births so a lot of the time, an out-of-hospital birth is kind of the opposite. You have to have a little bit of money in order to pay for an out-of-hospital midwife because your insurance isn't likely going to cover it. More insurances are coming on board with that but it will be a little bit of time before we see that shift. But there are similar outcomes in the United States and in wealthier countries that midwifery-led care, not just out of the hospital, but in-hospital midwifery-led care has lower rates of Cesarean, lower rates of complication, lower rates of induction, lower rates of mortality and morbidity than obstetric-led care. You are going to a surgeon. You are going to a trained surgeon to have a natural, non-complicated delivery. Meagan: It's interesting because going back to the low income, in our minds, we think that the care is not that great. But then we look at it and it's like, the care is doing pretty good over there in these lower-income, third-world countries. Yeah. This is actually in Evidence-Based Birth. It says, “In the United States, there are typically 4 million births each year.” 4 million. You guys, that's a lot. The majority of these births are attended by physicians which are only 9% attended by certified nurse midwives and less than 1% are attended by CPMs, so certified professional midwives or traditional midwives. You guys, that is insane. That is so low. She says in this podcast of hers which we are going to make sure to link because I think it's a really great one, “If you only look at vaginal births, midwives do attend a higher portion of vaginal births in the United States, but still it's only about 14%.”Julie: Yeah. If you have a normal– I use normal very loosely– uncomplicated pregnancy, there is absolutely no reason that you cannot see a midwife either out of the hospital or in the hospital. Now, I would encourage you to go and interview some midwives in your local hospitals. I would encourage you to look into the local birth community and see what people recommend because even if you are going in a hospital and have a midwife, you have the same access to the OR and an OB that can take care of you in case of an emergency. A lot of people are like, “Well, I'd just rather see an OB just in case of an emergency so that way I know who is doing my C-section,” I promise you that the OB doing your C-section, you are only going to see for an hour. They probably are not going to talk to you. It doesn't matter how personable they are or what their bedside manner is or if you know anything because I promise you, when you are on the operating room table, you're not going to be worried about who's doing your surgery. You're just not. I'm sorry. That's maybe a harsh thing to say, but it's going to be the farthest thing from your mind. Plus, in the hospital, your midwife is more than likely going to be assisting with the surgery too so you are going to have a familiar face in the operating room if that happens. I also think everybody knows by now that I am not on board with doing something just in case when it comes to medical care. Just in case things can cause a lot more problems that they are trying to prevent. So yeah. Anyway, that's my two cents. Meagan: Yeah. You know, I really think that when it comes to midwives, there is even more than just reducing things like interventions and Cesareans and inductions which of course, lead to interventions and things like that. I feel like overall, people leave their birth experience having that better view on the birth because of things like that where midwives are with you more and they seem to be allowed more time even with insurance. You guys, insurance, like she said, sucks. It just sucks. It limits our providers. I want to just point that out that a lot of these OBs, I think that they would spend more time with us. I think they want to spend more time with us in a lot of ways, but they can't because insurance pulls them down and makes it so they can't. But these midwives are able to spend so much more time with us in many ways. Okay. Let's see. What else do we want to talk about here? We talked about interventions. Midwives will typically allow parents to go past that 40-week mark. We talked about the ARRIVE trial here in the past where they started inducing first-time moms at 39 weeks and unfortunately, it's stuck in a lot of ways so providers are inducing at 39 weeks and that means we are starting to do things like stripping membranes at 37 and 38 weeks. It seems like providers really, really– and when I say providers, like OB/GYNs, they are really wanting babies to be born for sure by 40 weeks but by 40 weeks, they are really pushing it. Midwives to tend to allow the parents to go past that 40-week mark. That's just something else I've noticed with clients who choose VBAC and then end up choosing midwives. They'll often end up choosing midwives because of that reason and they will feel so much better when they reach that point in pregnancy because they don't feel that crazy pressure to strip their membranes and go into labor or they are going to be facing a Cesarean and things like that. I feel like that's another really big way to change the feeling of your care with midwives is understanding when it comes down to the end of things, they are going to be a little bit more lenient and understanding and not press as hard. Like we said in the beginning, there are a lot of people who do press it– those “medwives” where they are like, “No, you need to have a baby.” We just recorded a story where the midwife was like, “Well, you need to see the OB and you need to do a membrane sweep,” and they were suggesting these things. But really, typically with midwives, you are going to see less pressure in the end of pregnancy. Midwives spend more time in prenatal visits. We were just talking about that. Insurance can limit OBs, but a lot of the time, they will really spend more time with you. They are going to spend 20+ minutes and if you are out of the hospital, sometimes they will spend a whole hour with you going over things. Where are you mentally? Where are you physically? What are you wanting? Going over desires and the plan for the birth. Past experiences may be creeping in because we know that past experiences can creep in along the way. So yeah. Okay, Julie is in her car, you guys. She's rocking it with her cute sunglasses. She is on her way. She is so nice to have the last half hour of her free time spent with us. So Julie, do you have any insight or any extra words on what I was just saying? Julie: You know, I do. Hopefully, you can hear me okay. I'm going to hit a dead spot in two seconds. Meagan: I can hear you great. Julie: Okay, perfect. I have this little– there's a spot on my road where I always cut out so stop me if I need to repeat what I said. I wanted to go back to the beginning and just talk for half a second because we know my first ended in a C-section. For my first birth, I actually started out by looking at birth centers because I wanted an out-of-hospital birth. I knew that from the beginning. I interviewed a couple of midwives and there was one group that I was going to go with at a birth center and I was ready to go but something didn't quite feel right. It wasn't anything the midwives did. It wasn't anything that the birth center was. It wasn't that I didn't feel safe there. It was just that something didn't feel right. So I just stayed with my OB/GYN. I had to get on Clomid to get pregnant. I just stayed with that guy who is the same guy that Meagan had and the same guy who did my C-section because something didn't feel right. I mean, we know now and I can look back in hindsight. This was, gosh, 11.5 years ago. I know that I ended up having preeclampsia and I ended up having to get induced because of it. Had I started out-of-hospital, I would have had to transfer. There was nothing– I would have had to transfer care before I even got to 37 weeks. I had a 36-week induction. That's the thing though. Out-of-hospital midwives have protocols. Each state has different guidelines, but there are requirements for when they have to transfer care– if your blood pressure is high, if you have preeclampsia signs, if you deliver before a certain due date, or after a certain gestational age. You're going to be safe. If you have complications in pregnancy, you're going to be safe. You're going to be transferred. You're going to be cared for. But also, I just want to put emphasis on this which is what I'm tying into the last thing I want to say which is going to be forever long, is that you can trust your intuition. My intuition was telling me that the birth center was not the right place for me even though it checked all of the boxes. Your intuition is not going to tell the future every time, but what I wanted to lead into is that– oh and do you know what is so funny also? I had three out-of-hospital births after that, but with my fourth birth, I started out with the same midwife I had for the other two home births, and for some reason, I felt like I needed to transfer care back to the hospital so I went back to the hospital for two months and all of a sudden, my insurance change and the biggest network of hospitals in my state wasn't covered by my insurance anymore so it felt right to go back to out-of-hospital birth. I don't know why I had to do that whole loop-dee-loop of transferring to a hospital just to transfer back to the same out-of-hospital midwife that I had in the first place but I believe there was a purpose to that. I believe there was a purpose to that. I want to tell you guys that if seeking midwifery care whether in the hospital or out of the hospital feels uncomfortable to you or feels like, I don't know. These midwives still sound like chicken-dancing hippies to me, I would encourage you to go talk to some local midwives whether in a hospital or out of the hospital. Just sit down and talk to them and say, “Hey.” It's easier to talk to an out-of-hospital midwife. Out-of-hospital midwives do free consultations for you. In-hospital midwives, you might have to make an appointment and it might be harder but you should still try and see and get a vibe or just transfer care to them and go to a few appointments and see. You can always switch care back to a different provider or an OB because your intuition is smart but it does not know, it cannot guide you about things that you do not know anything about. I would encourage you to go and chat with these different providers, even different OBs if you want because your provider choice is so, so, so important. It is one of the most important decisions you're going to make in your care for your birth. It should be a good one. Your intuition can't tell you to go see x, y, z provider if you don't even know who x, y, z provider is. Gather as much information as you can. Talk to as many providers as you can. Go see the midwife. Interview the doula. Check out the birth photographer's website. See what I did there? See how it feels because even as a birth photographer, whenever I'm doing interviews with people, I'm not a fly-on-the-wall birth photographer. A lot of birth photographers brag about being a fly on the wall. You won't even know I'm there. No. I don't buy that because who is in your birth space is important. I am a member of your birth team just like every other person in that space, just like your nurses, your OB, your midwife, your doula– everybody there is a member of your birth team. I am a member of your birth team too and I will hold space for you. I will support you and I will love you. I am not a fly on the wall. Now, your provider is a member of your birth team. They probably arguably are one of the biggest influencers about how your birth is going to go and you deserve to be well-informed about who they are. You deserve to have multiple options that you know about and have thoroughly vetted and you deserve to stick up for yourself and do the provider who is more in line with the type of birth you want. How do you do that? You do that by finding out more about the providers who are available to you in all of the different birth locations and settings. Meagan: Yes. So I want to talk more about that too because there are studies and papers out there showing that the attitude or the view on VBAC in that area, in that hospital, in that birth center, both midwives and OBs, but we are talking about midwives here, really impacts the way that a birth can go. So if you don't interview and you don't research and you don't find those connections and even try, you will not know and in the end, it may not be the way you want. Even then, even if we find those perfect midwives, even if Julie went to the hospital midwife, she probably would have had a great experience, but who knows?Julie: Also, arguable too though, you could be seeing the most highly recommended VBAC provider in your area in the most VBAC-supportive hospital in your area that everybody goes to and everybody raves about, and if you don't feel comfortable there for whatever reason, you don't have to see the best, most VBAC-supportive provider if it doesn't feel right and if it doesn't sit right with you. Meagan: Yes. Julie: It goes both ways. Meagan: Yes. Julie: Sorry, I'm really passionate about this clearly. Meagan: No, because it does. It goes both ways. I mean, that's what this podcast is about is conversation and story sharing and finding what's best for you because even with VBAC, VBAC might not be the right option for you, but you don't know unless you learn. You don't know unless you learn more about midwives. Really though, people usually come out of midwifery care having a better experience and a more positive experience. I think that goes along with the lines of they do give a little bit more care. They do seem to be able to dive deeper to them as an individual and what they are wanting and their desires. They are a little less medically minded and a little bit more open-minded. You are less likely to have interventions. You are less likely to have those things that cause trauma and that causes the cascade that leads to the Cesarean. I'm going to have all of the links but I'm just going to read this highlighted. It's a study from Europe actually. It says, “A recent qualitative study in Europe explored the maternity culture in high and low VBAC countries and found that–” I'm talking a lot about high and low countries. Sorry guys, I'm realizing I'm talking a lot about it but a lot of these studies differ. It says, “Clinicians in the high VBAC countries had a positive and pro-VBAC attitude which encouraged women to choose VBAC whereas the countries with low VBAC rate, clinicians held both pro and anti-VBAC views which negatively affected women who were seeking VBAC. Both of these studies have shown that having midwifery care can have a positive influence on VBAC rates with an increase in maternal and neonatal morbidity.”Right there, not only doing the research on your provider, but doing the research within your location, what their thoughts are, what their views are, what their high-VBAC attitude or low-VBAC attitude is. If they are coming at you, even these midwives you guys, and they have all of these stipulations, it might be a red flag. It might not be the right midwifery group for you. Julie: Absolutely. That's where the intuition comes in. I like what you said about the VBAC culture. You can tell at different hospitals. We have been to many, many hospitals in our area. Sorry, can you hear my blinkers? It's distracting. Let's see. I absolutely guarantee you that every hospital has a culture around VBAC. Some of them are positive and supportive and uplifting and some of them are fearful and fear-based and operate on a fact where they are going to be more likely to pull you toward a repeat C-section or other interventions. I encourage you to look into the culture of your hospital but not only hospitals too. I realize it's not just hospital-specific. It's also out-of-hospital midwives. They all have their culture around VBAC. Your out-of-hospital midwives and your in-hospital midwives, all of the midwives, your group whether you see a solo practice or a group OB practice or you see a group midwifery practice or whatever, there is a culture surrounding VBAC. You need to do yourself a favor and figure out what that culture is. I got to my appointment and I need to head in so I'm going to say goodbye really fast. I'm going to leave Meagan alone to wrap up the episode, but yes. My parting words are honoring your intuition, talk as much to your VBAC provider as you can and find out what the culture is surrounding that no matter who you choose to go with and also, do not automatically write off midwives. You are doing yourself a huge disservice if you are not considering a midwife for your care. It doesn't mean you have to go with one, but I feel like everybody should at least look into them. I love you guys! Bye!Meagan: Okay. And wrapping up you guys, I am just going to echo her. I think that completely discrediting midwives without even interviewing them at all is something that is a disservice to ourselves. I'm going to tell you that I did that. I did that. I didn't even consider it. I interviewed 12 providers, 12 providers which is crazy and I didn't interview one midwife. Not one. I was interviewing OBs and MFMs and I realize I don't remember interviewing a single midwife. The only thing I can think of is that I let the outside world lead me to believe that midwives were less qualified. Yale has an article and they say, “First-time mothers giving birth at medical centers where midwives were on their care team were 75% less likely to have their labor induced.” 74% less likely to have their labor induced, 74% less likely to receive Pitocin augmentation, and 12% less likely to deliver by Cesarean which is a big deal. I know most of us listening here are not first-time moms. We've had a Cesarean. Maybe we've had one, two, three, or maybe four, but the stats on midwives are there. It is there and it's something to not ignore so if you have not yet checked out midwives in your area, I highly encourage you to do so. Like Julie said, you don't even have to go with anybody, but at least interviewing them to know and feel the difference of care that you may be able to have is a big deal. I highly encourage you. I love you all. I'm so grateful for midwives. I'm so grateful for my midwife. My VBAC baby was with a midwife and I did have an OB. I was one of those who had an OB backup who could care for me and see me if I needed to. That for me made me feel more comfortable but it's also something that can get confusing. I think we've talked about where sometimes you will do dual care and you will have one person telling you one thing and the other provider telling you the other thing. That can get stressful and confusing so maybe stick with your provider. But do what's best for you. Again, another message. Don't just completely wipe out the idea of a midwife if you have midwives in your area as an option. It may be something that will just blow your mind. Thank you all so much for listening and hey, if you have a midwife who you suggest or you've gone through a VBAC with, we have our VBAC-supportive provider list and we would love for you to add to it. Go check out in the show notes or you can go over to our Instagram and click in our Linktree and we have got our provider list there for you. Or if you are looking for that midwife to interview, go check them out. We definitely love adding to this list and love referring it for everybody looking for a VBAC-supportive provider. ClosingWould you like to be a guest on the podcast? Tell us about your experience at thevbaclink.com/share. For more information on all things VBAC including online and in-person VBAC classes, The VBAC Link blog, and Meagan's bio, head over to thevbaclink.com. Congratulations on starting your journey of learning and discovery with The VBAC Link.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-vbac-link/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

We made it to Episode 50!!!! Aww yeah!!! THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO LISTEN TO MY PODCAST & A SPECIAL THANKS TO THOSE WHO DOWNLOADED MY EPISODES! I am TRULY GRATEFUL. Today's show is How to Stop Reacting to every darn thing that comes your way and WHY you need to do better in Mastering Your Emotions. FREE MASTERCLASS: https://www.veemindful.com/Top-5-Ways-Your-Masculinity-Is-Keeping-You-Single EBOOK: HOW TO DATE AS A MASCULINE WOMAN (only $8!) https://www.veemindful.com/How-To-Date-As-A-Masculine-Woman Schedule a Discovery Call with Vee Mindful: https://calendly.com/veemindful/discovery DATING ON DEMAND: https://www.veemindful.com/datingondemand VEE MINDFUL is a Certified Relationship Coach, Published Author, Radio Host, Podcast Host, and Speaker. She is a dating and relationship expert who works with men and women who struggle with dating and finding love. She also coaches women who struggle with honoring their femininity because their masculine world dominates. Vee's tagline is Catch Flights & Feelings because she strongly believes that if you want to get to know someone, then take a trip with them! (Obviously using your own intuition and safe voice). CONNECT WITH ME: https://www.veemindful.com MY BOOKS: My 1st Book about Healing - THEY TRIED. YOU WON. https://a.co/d/hn8xiMP 2ND BOOK - LADIES, LEAVE YOUR D*CK AT HOME https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C9S5R7Y3 Check out our Self Guided Course! -> https://www.veemindful.com/FeminineCourse

Aww... you have your mother's... poison?!

On today's episode of The Wholesome Fertility Podcast, I welcome Dr. Allison Snowden.   Dr. Allison Snowden is a renowned healer, coach, medical intuitive, and Theta® Healing Expert with over 15 years of experience serving thousands of clients and students from around the world. She offers highly sought-after services including in-person and virtual healing sessions, group sessions, and retreats. Dr. Snowden also trains other healers and medical professionals through her signature programs and courses within the Awakening Institute.   She holds a Doctorate of Acupuncture and Chinese Medicine from the Pacific College of Health & Sciences in San Diego, CA, and has advanced training through the Theta® Healing Institute. Dr. Snowden continues her professional development through regularly attending courses, workshops, and seminars. Her diverse, multi-disciplinary experiences in healing, yoga, integrative medicine, traditional medicine, and Theta® Healing enable her to help patients prevent and recover from trauma-related damage by identifying and releasing the root causes of illness and challenges.   Episode Takeaways: Trauma can have long-lasting effects on the body and mind, and it is important to address and heal it. Reconnecting with our bodies and listening to their messages is essential for healing and well-being. Theta Healing is a powerful technique that combines belief system work and trauma healing. Healing trauma and shifting belief systems can lead to embodiment, empowerment, and a more fulfilling life. Societal beliefs and conditioning can have a significant impact on women's bodies and hormones. Understanding one's own trauma history is crucial for women's health and fertility. The nervous system plays a role in storing information and can affect overall well-being. Tapping into divine wisdom and living in one's truth can lead to healing and empowerment.   Website: https://drsnowden.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drallisonsnowden/     For more information about Michelle, visit: www.michelleoravitz.com   Check out Michelle's latest book here: https://www.michelleoravitz.com/thewayoffertility   The Wholesome FertilityFacebook group is where you can find free resources and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2149554308396504/   Instagram: @thewholesomelotusfertility   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thewholesomelotus/     Transcript:   Michelle (00:00) Welcome to the podcast, Dr. Snowden. So nice to meet you. And as I'm sitting here, I see you. Not everybody's going to be seeing this because it's a podcast, but I see a beautiful flower of life behind Dr. Snowden. And we both are like really obsessed with that symbol. So we'll definitely talk about that. But before we get started, I would love for you to introduce yourself.   Dr. Allison Snowden (00:02) Hi.   Michelle (00:28) Give us your background, how you got inspired to do the work that you do today.   Dr. Allison Snowden (00:34) Great, thank you so much. Thank you so much for having me on here. My name's Dr. Allison Snowden. I'll just go with the formal and then I'll get into the real juicy stuff, right? I have my doctorate and master's in Chinese integrative medicine. I also did massage therapy for about 10 years as well.   and also did a lot of energy work training, Reiki, all of the ones. Like I think my whole 20s and 30s, I was just doing extra seminars. So I definitely am an education junkie because, know, in my, just in my value system, really what we take out of this world is experiences, knowledge, and like our consciousness.   And so I really value investing in my education, but then also just in really upleveling my consciousness. And my journey as a healer, think, I feel like I was born, I was born into a healing family. I was born, my mom's a nurse, my dad's a physician. So I feel like it's just a part of my blood and my   I feel like my first initiation in that was my sister had childhood cancer when I was six. And so she was really sick for a year. And I think that's just when that part of me was activated of like, how can I help her? What is going on? And also just really just wanting to understand.   why the human body isn't working, what is going on. So I think that was the first initiation. And I also, it was very hard for me because I was a very empathetic, very sensitive child, very shy. People that I meet now, you my 40s, they're like, you're shy. And I was like, yeah, I worked really hard on it. And so it was really...   Just seeing her go through chemo, she survived. And then for about 10 years, she would just get sick. And so they didn't know she had an autoimmune deficiency at that point. But I just saw her getting sick, missing school. She had to be on IV antibiotics. And I was just like, why? This just seems like it's not getting anywhere. Like it's just the cyclical thing.   I also was mortified at how people treated her sometimes. I'm very mortified on how people treat chronic pain patients and just people in general sometimes. I mean, let's just be honest, like the lack of sometimes kindness and compassion just for people that are going through something, just for the normal person sometimes isn't there. And that like, I saw, I witnessed that as an observer.   you know, going to get my sister's homework and my sister always looked beautiful, even though she had cancer or she had, you know, like, you know, high mono levels or, and so like a lot of people just didn't have like a scarcity of compassion. So that was very, that, that was very impressionable on me at that age. It actually really mortified me. because I never thought that there was like   there's always endless compassion. is, you know, how does it hurt someone to give someone compassion? So at a young age, I didn't really understand that. And then I just saw a lot of death. And so I was like, in this kind of, you know, I grew up in like, you know, upper middle class, you know, society where it looked like our life was, you know, picture perfect. And it was, I had a lot of love in my family,   You know, my sister was continuously sick. They didn't know. And then everyone who she went through chemo with was just dropping dead. And so there was just a lot of death. So I started to pray to God. was like, I want to understand what the hell life is about. Cause I see, you know, it's, it's something to see when you see your sister who's getting a spinal tap done and they didn't, you know, use any anesthesia.   Michelle (04:25) wow.   Dr. Allison Snowden (04:42) and you see how all of this stuff, it's just like micro traumas. You see this and you're like, what is going on? So I just prayed and my cousin died around when I was 14, just in an accident like that. So it was just kind of like all these things. And I think I just had an existential crisis and I was just praying very hard. I didn't know about manifestation back then.   I didn't know any of those principles, but I just was like, God, show me what life is about. God, what happens when you die? I need to know what like I just had this overwhelming need to understand. So a year and a half later, sister is yet again in the hospital and they just find out that she has an autoimmune disease that was associated with her.   cancer, was Burkett's lymphoma and it was associated with a CD4 immune disease. And so they were like, do not go on spring break. My parents had already paid for it. I already had a friend coming. So we went and I'm not going to get into like the details of that, but I had a near near death experience. I was assaulted and then run over by a motor vehicle that was going about 60 miles per hour.   Michelle (06:00) my God. Wow.   Dr. Allison Snowden (06:01) So I had a near -death experience. I, you know, shot out, like, if anyone's listening to this, I know it's not a death podcast, but I   Michelle (06:11) No, no, talk about it because I actually find this really interesting and I think we can learn a   Dr. Allison Snowden (06:16) The, I, cause my cousin died of a violent, you know, pretty catastrophic motor vehicle accident. And I always worried that he was in pain and he died alone. And like, I just like created this drama in my head, like how horrible it was for him. And I'm just here to say that that doesn't happen. It's very quick. I didn't feel a thing. And,   I went up into this unconditional love of just pure bliss, love, all knowing, homelessness. And I was, I always say to people, that was the best vacation I've ever taken, you know, like literally just unconditional love. It's beyond time and space. and I felt like I was just restored and we remembered a lot of things when I was up there. but it was part of my path, I think to,   be a healer and really to understand trauma and also how to heal it and also especially with women as well. And so I had all of these different downloads up there and I decided to go back and when I was almost, and when you decide it's like faster than light, know, it just is like you're in your body.   Michelle (07:14) Yeah.   Dr. Allison Snowden (07:29) I was like, as I was going in, that voice of the divine was like, bring this energy down to earth. And I was like, what? I mean, I would be sitting in the hospital and like, am I supposed, like, can you like translate that for me? Like, can you like give me a to -do list? Like, what do you mean? Right? So, you know, I come back.   There is a whole drama of getting me back home. I had to have emergency surgery and then I was in the hospital, in and out of the hospital for about three years. And then I had like more years of just, you know, just nutrient deficiencies that no one found because I was not going to a functional medicine doctor or someone who really took time. had a thyroid condition, no one diagnosed. I just,   The lack of care in the aftermath of that really made me suffer. And it's not that anyone had any bad intentions. It's just like in our medical system, it's like once the bones are healed, which took three and a half years, which was insane. So many orthopedic surgeries, because my bones wouldn't heal, because they were so badly broken. Like once they were healed, they're like, you're good. And I'm   Michelle (08:32) It's the system.   Dr. Allison Snowden (08:48) well, what happened to my last three years of my life? And then, I felt like that's when all the emotional stuff came up because before I was just like, so focused on getting, you know, you know, let's heal this leg, the arm, the, know, like all of this stuff, learning how to walk again, how many times, you know? And so then it was like, Whoa, just what happened. And so, and that's when like a lot of, you know,   I mean, depression, PTSD, all of that stuff. you know, like, I think, like, the psychiatrists said, they're like, you know, I was crying. And I felt like I was grieving and they're like, more than three weeks. well, you're depressed, all this stuff. you know, I think it's there's a there's a whole conversation that can be had around the medicalization of just life events and   you know, how that intersects and how we can support, but how does that repress it? Because I really feel like when our body, when we grieve, when we cry, there's such an, it's, you know, like in Chinese medicine, it's like the tears are the, like, the liquid of the liver. It's like there's change coming. So I really feel like, yeah, that could be a   conversation there, but I just was like a mess. had chronic pain. was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, depression, PTSD, anxiety. then I was told I was always going to be in pain. So that was like my first mission to get myself out of physical pain. And that took a while. And I also wanted to run again. And everyone said I was crazy. And I actually did that.   about 10 years, but it was great. The thing that I think I really wanna like share, and I always try to like distill, cause I always like to share when I'm talking about my story, cause my story is super dramatic and I know this,   the power that like we all come from that source energy and we all have access to it. And we all have the right to have that, you know, that that connection, that direct connection. And if I can do it, you can do it. You know, I think sometimes people are like, well, I can't because I didn't have a near death experience or da da da da. And I'm like, no, you can't, you know. And I really feel   Michelle (10:52) and   Dr. Allison Snowden (11:13) in modern times, we've really got disconnected, with our bodies. We've really gotten disconnected with our own power because we've outsourced our healing to other healers, to a system. And we've really, as, us women, like our, we've, we've our body and our power has been dispersed. And so I really feel that as a woman.   because I am a woman, some people are like, ask me about like men's journeys, men healing. I'm like, I don't know, I'm a woman and like, I know what I know. And I've had trauma, I've had sexual trauma and I think women as women, we need, we are much more prone, like sexual violence is very.   is one of the most costly things for a woman to go through just on a psychological level of recovery. And also, I think our whole spiritual journey as women, this is just my view, is really reclaiming our power and our safety and reclaiming our body too. And what happens is with trauma or with sexual assault   something or even just emotional abandonment, there's like this unsafety wound that comes up. And if you know the chakras, that's kind of in the first and the second chakra. And if you don't have your power, you don't have your safety, you're not anchored, you're not grounded. And then you have people that always are ruminating, overthinking, trying to   Michelle (12:36) Hmm.   Mm   Dr. Allison Snowden (12:49) figure out all the little details of the plan before they get started, that fear is there. so I've just been on a journey. I started practicing doing massage while I did massage. And Ray, he started teaching that, then went to grad school. And I was always working through that. And then I started my practice in 2013.   And I've always just been a healer healing myself and then sharing it with others. know, like I always feel like I'm, I'm just so pro client, pro patient, because I resonate more with that role than I do like, you know, Dr. Allison, you know, like I'm, I am in the trenches with, I've been in the trenches and I've been really bad physically, mentally, emotionally.   and I got through it and I tried a lot of things that didn't work and I went on a lot of U -turns, you know, but I kept on going. And so I feel like I'm just a really good resource for anyone that has, because I've just been studying medicine and been in -depth training on many different platforms, functional medicine, theta healing.   subconscious reprogramming, other subconscious reprogramming stuff, and then functional medicine, and then Chinese medicine, and then also massage and energy medicine. all of our energy, our muscle, you know, our physical being and our energetic being, these are all interconnected. And also really, I've done a lot   training and then also research into, you know, nervous system and how do we heal trauma? and what does that feel like and how is that, experience and how is that experience within my body and how does that shift my hormones? How does that shift my perception of reality of reality now and, you know, reality there and, and how does that affect   you know, my mood and my thoughts. So, I felt like I was like thrown into the flat fire of just, you know, a mess of just, you know, medical, I mean, it was a medical miracle, I survived. And another miracle that like I didn't have brain damage or anything like that. So,   But I'm just really just on a mission to really help people heal faster and more effectively and really reclaiming their power and also reclaiming their power and their relationship with their body. I think when we have trauma and this can be emotional trauma, can be physical, sexual, a lot of women internalize it because maybe there's not an outlet for anger or maybe that's   Conditioned into us and so it gets turned inward and that is like, you know, then there's like that inner war And so I just really love working with women helping them reconnect to their power and and to their healing potential and their body and the wisdom of their body Because   Michelle (15:50) Mm   Dr. Allison Snowden (16:07) You know, our body has so much to tell us if we just listen. And I think just modern culture, you just because of the indoctrination of marketing or whatever, social media, know, all of that, you know, has really disconnected us from like the amazing wonderment of our body. And   You know, our bodies are our best friends. They are our co -pilots. You know, it is it is the sacred vessel that is holding our soul and it's constantly communicating with us. And in fact, my body and my soul, like when I need a message, my body and my soul are working together to get my attention. You know, they're not my body is never in pain just to I think one of the things that humans do and I've done   Michelle (16:46) Mm Yeah.   Dr. Allison Snowden (16:55) is like we get mad at our body because we think our body is falling apart just to spite us. Or just, and I just have to tell you that there's nothing more far from the truth. Like our body is like, I had this, I had this moment where I couldn't sleep because I was so uncomfortable in my body. Like after going through that many surgeries,   Michelle (17:02) Mm -hmm.   Dr. Allison Snowden (17:21) You know, I just didn't, couldn't feel comfortable in my body. I was in pain and my leg was hurting and I was just like, you know, I mean, I'm like, and, I heard this voice that was like, put your hands on your leg. And I was like, okay. So I like put my hands on my leg and, and my, my body started talking to me and was like, Hey, miss.   Stop hating me. I did not do this to you. I this happened to us This is You know horrible for me I'm working 500 million times harder than right leg over there and all you can all you can do is like Send me hatred and how ugly I look because it was like skinned and looked very You know, I couldn't move my   And she's like, you think I ruined your life? I did not ruin your life. This happened to us. So stop sending me hatred. And if you want me to heal faster, and if you want to help the process, send me love. And I was like, whoa. So I call my left leg the sassy left leg. It always tells me the truth, you know? And I think a lot of us   Michelle (18:33) wow.   That's profound. Yeah.   Yeah.   Dr. Allison Snowden (18:45) badly to our body. I I guess it's somewhat natural if something hurts maybe to get angry at it. But I guess really just to our body is in pain for a reason. There is it's a signal and your body has a language with you. And if you can get beyond that, your body is supposed to perform at like 100 percent no matter what, no matter what you do to   Michelle (19:00) Yes.   Dr. Allison Snowden (19:12) that is the internal dialogue or how you treat it or how you, you know, fill it up with and, you know, treat it like sleep, you know, self care or lack of self care. You know, our ego just thinks where it's just supposed to perform and just always be like on without like any, any like check -in. And so I think just there is such a magical world of your relationship, like you within you and you within your body, you know, and like,   my body whenever I've been pain free the second time, because I had a weird septic infection like six years ago. That was another weird medical thing that I went through. But I've been pain free from that for about four years. And anytime there's something going on with my body, I'm like, what,   What do I need to do? What are you trying to say to me? And also going into like what I do full time now, I was in functional medicine and Chinese medicine for a good 10 years. And then I started to notice, you know, with like my pain patients, my patients with autoimmune or, you know, menstrual stuff. There's like all these different things and we were pretty good at getting them better, but there's a subset of people   who weren't getting better. And I could see in their eyes, they wanted to get better. And there was just this like, there's something that I wasn't getting. And I was like, this is nervous system, this is trauma stuff. And so I took a theta healing class, and my first theta healing class, and I was like, wow, I'm home, like home as in the vibration of when I crossed over. And I just   Michelle (20:43) Yes.   Dr. Allison Snowden (20:55) felt so much better. And so I took another class, another class, and then I like took all the classes and the teacher trainings in like two years, which was like crazy fast track. also, and so with theta healing is, it's the, and I practice trauma -informed theta healing because some people that practice theta healing or energy medicine or Reiki or that, they're   trained to understand what trauma, disassociation, what different things are like. And that lack of knowledge can sometimes create maybe a gap in how they see the client. And a lot of untrained, even acupuncturists, medical doctors, and you'd be surprised how many psychotherapists aren't trauma -informed, which I was like, wait, shouldn't they all be?   that can actually like that ignorance can end up hurting the client, know, blaming them in some way, insinuating some way that they don't want to get better. And that's like so far beyond what the reality is. But with Theta Healing, it's the intersection. So between belief systems, old   that's stored in the body. And so it's a technique to really release these old imprints that are in our organs. You know, if you've had sexual trauma, it's in the tissue, you know, of our second chakra, like our body holds memory. And it's an intersection with that and belief systems and, you know, emotional   know, unconscious emotional patterns that just come up. And I think this is, it is such a powerful access because belief systems and your consciousness and how you feel and your inner state, your like inner atmosphere is everything. Because if your inner state, if you, you know, the thing with with trauma is people are   Michelle (22:49) Mm -hmm. Yeah.   Dr. Allison Snowden (22:56) It's in the past. Actually, guys, newsflash, if you have unresolved trauma, it's actually not in the past. It's operating as it is alive now. And this is not the fault of the person who was traumatized. It's because how the brain operates, because we, you know, I know I exist beyond this physical body as this energetic being that doesn't need a body because I crossed over,   Michelle (23:08) Yes.   Dr. Allison Snowden (23:24) You know, right now I'm in a body and I'm in a nervous system and I have a brain. And I think that was what was so peculiar to me because I had this enlightened experience about, you know, fear is not real. You know, all that really matters is loving yourself and loving others. And then I go totally down to this   15 year old body and I get anchored back in and my soul gets anchored back into this nervous system that's like, oh no, it's not about love. I couldn't sleep. My body was traumatized. So I was just like, I felt slightly imprisoned by that trauma. Because I knew how beautiful life was and what my soul was capable of. I had   I had to face and heal the trauma and it was a very, I tried everything. So I feel like I've been my first patient always and my first testing ground. And so if something works for me, I'm like, you know, I want to share it because like, I know, and I think when you've suffered in,   you know, a lot like, I always said, if my suffering, if I get to help other people and their suffering, and I see it, I see it now every day, and it's one of the most amazing things about my job. You see people's affect and just their whole state change and their whole world opened up when they heal old traumas, old belief systems.   And we have so many belief systems and programs, we've been programs that are operating below our consciousness, and it's just on automatic. And I really do think that this is also the kind of meeting point between healing and also enlightenment, healing and total embodiment, like   embodying your power, being in your body. I mean, really in your body. Because I gotta tell you, if you've had any trauma, emotional trauma, medical trauma, you're probably not totally present. You're not totally grounded in your root chakra. And I can remember people being like, you need to ground. And I'm like, great, well, I just did.   Michelle (25:35) Yes.   Dr. Allison Snowden (25:44) 90 minutes of yoga, that didn't work. I did yoga for 13 years. That didn't, I mean, it helped, but it didn't, it didn't, you know, lock me in. And so I really do think that I'm so grateful that I stumbled onto this technique because it really, in a laser way, really did a lot of good healing work in a really short amount of time.   And I never thought it was possible. Like I never thought it was possible for, cause you know, I'd lived with like 20 years of anxiety and PTSD managing it, managing this condition. And it was like two years ago where I, you know, I'm healing, teaching, I'm taking more courses and there is a healing that happened. And I just, I was like, Whoa, I'm in my body. And I was like,   this is really nice, you know? And then I started to talk to women and I'm like, when I talk to them, I'm like, and I'm intuitively tuning in, what I see is like, okay, they have their programming from society that's been indoctrinated. I'm supposed to have a baby at da -da -da -da, I'm supposed to do this. My husband wants this, this person wants this, this person wants this. I gotta get the kids, da -da -da -da -da.   all these different things. I want to please everyone. How can I please any everyone? Then there's the unconscious resentment because who's going to take care of me? And so when I scan someone, I can feel all of these little programs operating like going like that with women. And, you know, that's usually from like a fawn response, you know, of like people pleasing because all of us, I don't know, maybe not all of us, because that's the generalization. But a lot of girls are conditioned to   you know, if we please others and that's good girl, you know, maybe that's changing. mean, I was born in the eighties, so maybe that's different. But so how is that relevant to like, you know, fertility to women's health is that all of this is operating within your body. And these programs and and and these beliefs are very strong. They affect your hormones. They affect.   if your cortisol is going up, you know, it is, I know there's some trauma survivors who are like, people are like, oh, just, you know, stop being so stressed. Well, that's a little complex. If you've had abuse, if you've had neglect, you know, it's, it's not, it, you know, like going to the doctor or being like, oh yeah, just do some 10 minutes of meditation. So yeah, no, that, that probably is not going to solve it, you know?   So first you have to know yourself and know, and I think what the thing is is that a lot of people, my story is very dramatic and they're like, she had trauma. there's, it's pretty dramatic. But I wanna say that a lot of times if you have large gaps in memory of your childhood, if you have certain fears or things like that that you can't trace   your body remembers what your mind doesn't. And so, and there really isn't really true suppression of it because, you know, it's either gonna come out in your mental health, your perception of yourself or in your habits or your lack of self-love. Cause a lot of times we, in order to deal with trauma, we turn into self -hatred or we recreate those mean voices inside our own internal narrative.   And that has consequences on our body. So, or, you know, it'll show up as an autoimmune disorder later or cancer, you know, so it's there, you know, we're gonna, I feel like people deal, I have that, have a catalyst, whether it's, you know, trying to have a baby, or having a disease or an accident or something where it really, you know, makes us look inward.   Michelle (29:42) Yeah, for sure. And you know what, I thought about so many things when you were talking and I can really relate coming from my own experience and wanting to do more for others. And I think that a lot of us in the healing world started out as our patients, as patients ourselves and work through a lot to see that we can do that. I think a lot when I think about trauma, I think a lot about the nervous system. And you've mentioned   the nervous system is kind of like a channel of information and think about just experiences in life. We store information. We're living in a time where we are, are bombarded with information. Women are growing up with all kinds of information, not all true. A lot of it's not true. And then we take in that information, store it in our body. And it's not based in truth, not based in reality. And you had mentioned kind of connecting with that divine wisdom.   that is always there waiting for us to tap into. We have that, it's our birthright. So, I mean, so many of these things I really relate to, and I think that that's what it is. It's really creating, really living in our truth, because I feel like the truth is kind of like the light, the purification, the shedding of things that are not true. And I kind of feel like that's, you know, if you think about trauma and all these beliefs,   there are basically untruths, things that are not true that we are taking in, we're storing in our body and it doesn't align with our consciousness. And when you said like that we're not in our bodies, I totally relate to that. You think about shamanistic work. They always retrieve souls. They retrieve part of ourselves. Like part of ourselves leaves our body. People talk about this in, you know, horrible victims, know, victim situations where they leave their bodies and   It's kind of like a part of our soul leaves. And I talk a lot about this, you know, with Qi, with Qi life force vitality. When we create awareness, our awareness actually opens us up to more Qi. And when we lose that Qi and our awareness is off or out, then we're lacking that life force vitality. And so that consciousness or the lack thereof, if we have a lack of consciousness in certain parts of our body, then it causes more opportunistic.   energy to come   Dr. Allison Snowden (32:01) Exactly. it's, I think, it's our truth and our power, right? Like, I think, I really do think as women, because those are the, like, because I've been working and scanning a lot of people for a long time. And probably one of the most common patterns that I see is just disempowered, like, root and sacral   And so when those chakras are disempowered, I'm like, there's a safety issue. Then there's a power issue, a sexual issue, a creativity issue, a receiving, because if you've had sexual trauma, there may be some issues of receiving things from others, right? All trauma is usually, unless it's hurricane or like   Michelle (32:34) Mm -hmm.   Dr. Allison Snowden (32:49) you know, national disaster, all trauma is usually delivered somewhat by through another human. And so that really, that, and you know, that is real. And then a lot of us to put another, you know, nuance on that, a lot of people, especially if they had childhood trauma, neglect, abuse, a lot of people don't even know that that wasn't, you know, neglect or abuse.   until they're older, just how our brain is developed and how that happens. But also if then, if there was something like molestation or sexual trauma, there's, most people are gaslit about that. And I don't know, I was just like scrolling on something. I was looking for something on the internet and then, I don't know, I saw something.   Michelle (33:27) Mm -hmm.   Dr. Allison Snowden (33:35) I guess it was like on Facebook and there's these like raw stories about just people's childhoods. And I just like went into the comments and I sometimes do this. I feel like it's sometimes just some of my advocacy. I'm like just two comments, Alice, and then you have to get back to work. just people like someone saying, her story is not making sense or da -da -da -da.   Michelle (33:58) questioning.   Dr. Allison Snowden (33:59) you know, questioning her and I'm like, no one wants to go through this, you know,   Michelle (34:06) There's a lot of that out there. It's really sad to see.   Dr. Allison Snowden (34:10) It is, and it really is. so, I mean, just to anyone who's, know, and I've spoken out about my experience, like, and some people are like, you know, like, you know, all of these different things. And I'm like, think our culture is like a major issue with judgment. And I just...   Michelle (34:30) Big time.   Dr. Allison Snowden (34:33) It is just amazing to me. You know, like I, you know, the lack of empathy, the lack of real inner connection to self and real connection to others and that like people just say things like just I think they're just getting out their anger and, you know, like forgetting that these are human beings that may read these comments. But, yeah, I mean, I think   But yeah, like with the gas lighting. So that's another thing that happens with trauma or wasn't that bad or that type of thing. So I really do think also it's like with trauma, if you didn't have someone to help you process the emotions, trauma is also what didn't happen. So if someone wasn't there for you, if someone wasn't there to help you process your emotions,   Maybe you didn't have parents that knew how to process emotions, because they were dysregulated all the time. So just the part of feeling and learning that skill and feeling is really important. know, like as in Chinese medicine, our emotions, the over or under expression of our emotions can cause disease, you know, or the stagnation of that can cause disease. And that's why I love   Michelle (35:43) Definitely.   Dr. Allison Snowden (35:47) Chinese medicine as like my base point because it acknowledges that now, like now if you look in the research, like in the seventies, was like psycho neuro immunology was just coming out and people were like, this is such, you know, BS, but like now it's like, yes, like it's, it's validating that, you know, everything is connected to everything.   and this old like Dick Hart kind of the mind is over here and the body's here and they operate like is just kind of actually like real just it that's that's been disproven over and over. But our.   Michelle (36:29) I think we're definitely moving into a new era. I really do. feel like things are breaking down. hard to watch, but I feel like things are breaking down that are not working. And I think people are starting to see it. People are starting to see the staleness of some of the old systems. just doesn't really, it's not relevant. You know, and I think that it will, it's interesting. say old system is ancient medicine has been around forever, but they consider the spirit.   They don't just look at us as a body. They acknowledge   Dr. Allison Snowden (37:00) Yeah, yeah, the spirit, the emotions, also all of the little intricacies of life and nuances and connection. And I think that's where you were talking about the nervous system. I think there's, love, like, have you heard of polyvagal theory? So   it's about just the different branches of the nervous system. And like our ventral vagal part of our nervous system is the most like new evolutionary. so ventral vagal is like our social aspect. Like you're safe, I can connect to you and I can connect to myself. And   but if we go into sympathetic or into, you know, kind of shut down freeze mode, those are the different stress stress points. So like when you're in those different nervous system, states where you're, if you've been in a collapse mode or freeze mode, you're like numb withdrawal, there's, there's a physical symptoms that go with it. And then also mental, like emotional aspects that go with it when you're in fight flight.   your nervous system and your perception, your body is really like being like, it is not safe for me to connect out there, you know, and it's looking for cues for danger. And so how, how Theta healing and the work that I do is that I work with the individual because unhealed belief systems from trauma or just even conditioning. and a lot of these are subconscious unconscious.   in our they're alive in your in your nervous system and they'll, you know, turn on your stress response when it's not needed. Right. So when you heal a trauma, then, you know, it's no longer in your consciousness. It's no longer, you know, disrupting you or, you know, there are I never had like issues with remembering my trauma, but there are people who have repressed trauma and more shut down mode. But.   I just, I don't know, I, for me, I thought like I was just going to have to manage my PTSD because I tried so many different, you name it, I tried all of the things. I had, you know, I never ever gave up, but I was like, hey Al, you know, like maybe this is, you know, and I was like, I'm never gonna stop trying. And, you know, it wasn't,   you know, one class or one session, or even, you know, it was a cumulative of a lot of work with me, because I had such extreme, like, violence that was, that my body remembered. But, like, I did get there where I finally was like, my God, I feel, I feel safe.   Michelle (39:40) Amazing. That's awesome.   Dr. Allison Snowden (39:41) And girls, like all the women on here, that is the best thing I've ever felt in my life. And it is the best thing. Like I want that for every woman because when your soul is like anchored into all your chakras and you feel safe in your body, like there's your heaven on earth.   Michelle (40:04) I love that. my God, that's powerful.   Dr. Allison Snowden (40:06) It is, it is, and I like literally, I'm like, you know what? No one, no amount of money could make me like give this away. Like not that I could, but, but like, it's, I think what happens is, is sometimes our ego, I'm, I'm sure, cause we're all human. We've done this. when, or this is how my ego worked. Alison, when you, when you have the boyfriend, when you have, this or the marriage or, or you have this much. Yeah.   Michelle (40:16) yeah.   The conditions, all the conditions, yeah.   Dr. Allison Snowden (40:34) external, all the external, this is how everyone's ego tricks them. When you achieve something outside of yourself, then it will change how you feel inside. And hey guys, it does for like maybe a day or maybe a week or maybe the honeymoon period for three months or something. But eventually, you know, like that is not the way. And   Michelle (40:50) Right, yeah.   Dr. Allison Snowden (41:02) It's like really changing our programming. So our programming, our conditioning from childhood, our identities, our stories that they show up as narratives. Because when we're little, our brain, when we experience pain as a little kid, we're trying to understand how to not make that happen again. And from our little brain that is under, that is not an adult brain, that doesn't see adults as flawed human beings,   the little child brain is like, my parent is not paying attention to me, then there must be something wrong with me. And then there's that adaptation. Maybe I'll just be more perfect. Maybe I'll work hard. So then you have all of these adults that are just living these adaptations from, and I'm not shaming that at all, because we all do it, because we all have to survive, and we all are coming from that.   Michelle (41:47) Mm -hmm, that's   Dr. Allison Snowden (41:55) There's a lot of talk about authenticity, but do people really think that their authentic self is their stories, their ego tells themselves or the stories that their trauma tells themselves or the stories that the bullies at school back in fourth grade tells them? And how do you really know that it's healed? Right? Cause there's a lot of people like, don't, especially men, they're like, I don't need healing, I'm over that. And I'm like, well, let's ask your body. And so with thinking healing,   We like in a session like I do we make in theta healing the subconscious is divided into four different levels So in other other systems, it's not divided in that but in theta healing we have The core level which is this life. So in utero up to you know this moment in time Genetics, so, you know what in our bloodline what   and also what traits carried the genetics forward, know, what belief systems. And then there's the historic, which is the collective consciousness, because we're all connected and that all these collective thoughts, but then also past lives. So, and then the deepest part is your soul, because your soul, guys, maybe you forgot it for a little bit, but all of us have this energy and we decided, or we are incarnated for a reason.   And each of you, because I've been over on that, I've peeked behind the other side, each of us have a specific, a very specific reason why we're here and different experiences we want to experience and different virtues and different virtues as in compassion, love. You we want to grow through our consciousness, our frequency.   grows through experience. And as we have different experiences, we get to learn a lot. And I really love this part of Theta Healing because   Our soul, and I can speak to this, I think sometimes, so when my soul, when I was overlooking the earth and I saw my body and I saw what was happening or what had happened, I mean, my soul was like, well, you it was almost like, I mean,   I thought I was gonna survive this, but okay, I'll get another body and we'll just go back down there. You know, it's like, I think sometimes we get so entrenched in, know, this is who I am, I'm this. Yeah, attachment. Yeah, to this body, to whatever, even the drama that's going on, even the politic, you know, all of it, it's like there. And it's like, but from your   Michelle (44:25) The attachment to like this. Yeah.   even the problems and yeah.   Dr. Allison Snowden (44:39) soul's perspective, like a little drop in the bucket, you   Michelle (44:43) right. It is. Yeah. I mean, we do, we can get very sucked into, to so many different things. And you could see it kind of in the micro too, like just throughout your life. If you have something that you're thinking about, write it down. Actually, my husband said that, a friend of his mom said, write down whatever   put it in your drawer, open it up a month from now, and then ask yourself again, are you still as upset? And he did that. And he said that really, and he was a teenager at the time, he said that really opened my mind to just how things end up working out and how much energy we put into problems. But this is amazing information. Of course, I can speak to you for hours, but we're kind of nearing the end.   If people are interested, like what's the process, how can they find you and how can they work with   Dr. Allison Snowden (45:28) Yeah. so I'm on my website is www .doctor Snowden. That's dr sn o w d e n .com. And then I'm on instagram at dr Allison Snowden. And through there I do one on one. And then what I'm really passionate about. I love doing my one on ones.   and I love teaching others to access this and to do it to themselves because we all need help. But I really think this is a skillset that is going to be like, you know, brushing your teeth, like for mental, emotional, spiritual balance that, and it's powerful. You know, if you have a limiting belief.   Michelle (46:00) That's amazing, I love that.   Dr. Allison Snowden (46:17) Like you can say, I don't believe that, but guess what guys, your body believes it. like, just cause you say you don't believe it, like there is that. it's, so Theta, I do Theta healing classes and it's a curriculum. So you have to do them, you have to do them in order. The next one is in September. So I usually have a beginning cohort in September and January. And sometimes I do a mini like condensed, like,   Michelle (46:21) Mm -hmm.   Dr. Allison Snowden (46:41) session in June. So I really just, think if you want to just upgrade your life and heal, like, and also in these classes, we have professional healers, we have doctors, we have healers, but then we have just regular people that just want to, you know, get more connected to their intuition to heal themselves, like quicker and faster. And it's such a simple thing and everyone can learn how to do   And I want, like, I just, like, one of my dreams, like, is I just want to get, like, I want this to just be like, because, you know, when I was talking about this when I was like in 99, you know, now it's like 20, 24, but I just, I'm pretty excited like you, because we've come a long way, but, you know, I think everyone, you know,   Michelle (47:09) I love that.   Dr. Allison Snowden (47:38) needs to learn at least the basics of self -healing. Because you   Michelle (47:42) 100%. They should teach us this in school. mean, it's just, it's empowerment 101. I mean, really, like, just be able to be empowered like we're, it's our birthright   Dr. Allison Snowden (47:45) Right?   it is. And so I just I love that. That's just like my my thing right now is just to get a lot of people there's the first four classes are weekend classes. And then the one that if you guys want a miracle or want a whole paradigm shift, intuitive anatomy is a 15 day class and we go through you would love this other healers like love this. So we go and clear each system. So the circular   the digestive system that has a lot of abuse programs in it. So we have a whole day and about 200 beliefs that we check and we do healings and clearings on. And like people just feel different things like discipline. It's amazing when your perspective changes, your physiology changes.   Michelle (48:34) Amazing. Awesome.   Your whole world changes. love it. I love it. This is of course all the stuff that I love talking about. And I'm so happy you came on. Your story is so inspiring and I love what you're doing for so many other people. Guys got to check out her Instagram. It's a lot of fun. She shares a lot of awesome information. I really enjoy it myself. Dr. Allison, it was such a pleasure to meet you. I knew that I was going to like you and thank you so much for coming on.   Dr. Allison Snowden (49:02) good   gosh, I like, I love talking to you and you have such a, like just a beautiful energy and like just really like my, you know, I, cause I do a lot of different podcasts and I just felt so like at home here. And I just like want to share that with you because it's just like, I just like your energy is just so welcoming and so loving. And I just like, I'm like, God, I just love my like Healer Women. We're just   I just, you know, we, you know, I just absolutely had such a, it was so great being in this space with   Michelle (49:39) Aww.   that means a lot to me. really, I really received that and, and I appreciate it. feel likewise. I mean, I really love your energy, so I think it's synchronistic. So thank you again so much.   Dr. Allison Snowden (49:57) You're welcome. Sending you so much love and thank you for listening, anyone who's listened. And if you have any comments or questions, feel free to email us or send us a DM. And we're here to help you guys heal and love your body, love your life, create what you want.   Michelle (50:16) Amen. Awesome.   Dr. Allison Snowden (50:18) Yes.    

Next time you wonder how a good God could allow such sorrowful moments and seasons, will you consider the beautiful blessings they also hold? Notice how those divine presents make you feel in the midst of the treacherous-at-times storms? If you look for him, look for them, you will find his continual blessings. Radiant touches of joy, heart swelling doses of love, generous infusions of peace, and invaluable portions of purpose. SUBSCRIBE to our sister podcasts:Your Daily Prayer: https://www.lifeaudio.com/your-daily-prayer/Your Daily Bible Verse: https://www.lifeaudio.com/your-daily-bible-verse/ Full Transcript Below: The Blessed Life With Jesus By Keri Eichberger Blessed are those whose strength is in you, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage. (Psalm 84:5) Have you ever heard someone say, “I don't know how they do it,” when referring to someone who doesn't seem to place their faith in Jesus through difficult times, while they're going through their own strenuous struggle? I have. And I've said it. Recently in fact. On multiple occasions.  I 100% don't think I could have survived the rough patches of my life without the Lord to lean on. Like last month, staring out the window as the paramedic lifted my dad on a stretcher into an ambulance while my family was on vacation. The site left me paralyzed with vicious waves of knock-your-breath-out fear. Weakened by the moment, I collapsed in the chair in our rental house, and all I felt I had was the Lord's name to call on, to beg for peace, mercy, and a miracle. I'm pretty sure I would've stopped breathing without his almighty calming hand to hold. And then there were the many days that followed – the unknowns, ups and downs, sleepless nights of worry and what ifs after Dad's sudden stroke – that then slowly became sprinkled with blessings as I began to sturdy my gaze on the Lord. Without Jesus, the chaos of my heart, head, and surroundings would've missed the strength supplied through those around me, along with the peaceful reminders that my cares were being cared for. And regardless of me. Blessings. I would've missed so many blessings without the rock solid foundation of our good God. The Bible says, “Blessed are those whose strength is in you.” Blessed. Yes, I'm learning more and more what it means to have a blessed life. I'm learning it doesn't necessarily mean we will live in a state of constant comfort, contentment, and happiness. Because I'm learning and understanding that quite the opposite is actually true. That this world is really hard, and it hurts. The more and more we live it, in fact. Also true, and I've seen this time and again, that the compounding weights we weather have the capability to crush most people unless they have eyes that see Jesus. An awareness of blessings born with, and beaming through, the burdens, tragedies, and traumas. Reflect with me for a minute. Consider some hard things you have endured or are enduring right now. Can you tie any blessings at all to those difficulties? Maybe an unpleasant, unexpected detour opened a door to a bit of goodness that would otherwise never have been. Possibly a relationship was formed or strengthened through the trial? Perhaps stronger bonds of intimacy were created with the Lord as you clung closer to him? Or you offered or received acts of service that blessed someone or gave you the sweet gift of purpose? These blessings are truly the greatest gifts. They are gifts that the world could never dare to give. This is the blessed life with Jesus. When visiting the hospital recently over my dad's five week stay, when trying to encourage him with the good shining through his hard season, I shared how I've grown closer to the Lord through this difficult storm. Which is priceless. And I'll soon let him know, now that he's just returned home, how I've grown in a closer relationship and connection to my mom too. Yet another precious and priceless gift from God. Yes, God warned us of the trouble and trials to be in our time on earth, but he most certainly promised the good here, too. Aww, thank you, Lord.  Intersecting Faith and Life: Next time you wonder how a good God could allow such sorrowful moments and seasons, will you consider the beautiful blessings they also hold? Notice how those divine presents make you feel in the midst of the treacherous-at-times storms? If you look for him, look for them, you will find his continual blessings. Radiant touches of joy, heart swelling doses of love, generous infusions of peace, and invaluable portions of purpose. God's never failing faithfulness and always available abundance. The blessed life. Which only comes from a life lived close with him. Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.