Horror and a Half

In the beginning of this podcast, we wonder: must a movie be good? Is it not enough to see a slutty Val Kilmer? Or for characters to have absolutely wild mommy issues? Then we discuss 2024's Y2K and decide yes, sometimes movies have to be good. Stomp a little robot with us as we discuss anti-nostalgia, incredibly quick murder, and foolish look for things like story structure and also jokes.

Rose closes out some TV (for now) and Kelly talks about a book that's about a movie, and then we're travelling together to 1960 to discuss 13 Ghosts! Inherit a house with us as we pick our favorite ghost, wonder where this gainfully employed man's money is going, and decide when it's appropriate to cover your legs in cobwebs.

It's been a bit since we had such a long episode, but we have a lot of tv and a number of movies to discuss before we dig into brand new movie Sinners! Open a slightly ill-thought out juke joint with us as we discuss rad music, vampire synchronicity, and who sticks around for post credits sequences.

Do you like... firestarters? Do you like "mysterious" juices? Do you like when pranks are prevalent? Then boy have we got you covered! Plus: we begin our coverage of Yellowjackets season 3 and continue our coverage of just how gay Big Wolf on Campus was! All this, plus: another trip to the theater! We're talking The Woman in the Yard and we cover all the aspects - women, yards, the opposite of yards (inside), the opposite of the opposite (mirrors?) and so much more. There's interesting things in here, we think! We do discuss suicide in this episode, as it ends up being a major component of the film. Take care of yourselves, and only listen if you feel up to it.

Mix werewolves and Star Wars, hop in a non-supernatural chat room, meet a haunted doll IRL - these are just some of your options this time on Horror and a Half! Then we delve back into last year for a divided discussion of Strange Darling. One of us is hung up on metafictional conceits, one of us is supporting women's wrongs, but there's one thing we can agree on: the film is shot on 35 mm film.

It's a double dose of television for children, plus... zombie cop?? before we dig into new release The Monkey! Spin your little drum stick with us as we discuss absurd deaths, what bees do and do not do, maybe an honest to god plot hole, and shocking twin revelations.

It's the end of the month! That isn't really germane to anything, but it is true. Besides, we're talking more things that came out in this month: Valentine's slashers and continuing ghost shenanigans, and then we leap back in time to 1976's Burnt Offerings! Rent a cheap summer home with us as we discuss secret night swims, houses with terrible vibes, very professional actors, and a frankly delightful evil chauffer.

Do you like vampires? We hope so,  because that's the extra stuff we've brought you this month! Whether you like 'em bald and feral, or French and supposedly comedic, we have vamps! And then we have another new release, Companion! Visit a massive lake house with us as we discuss non-twists, fucked up nicknames, and some very poor planning.

Boo! I dunno, man, here's an episode for you: it's got stepfathers and vampires and the back half of Goosebumps and honestly most of it's pretty good! Then we come to 2025's Wolf Man, and, well... there's certainly stuff to talk about! Crash your U-Haul with us as we discuss pacing tricks, fucked up wolf vision, and YOUR DAD.

Happy New Year! We're back and basically the same, which means: we gotta tell you about masters of horror, 70s cinema, and that new season of Goosebumps. We are who we are! We love evil vehicles!! Anyway, then we're discussing another 2024 movie, this one titled, ahem, Daddy's Head. It's a pretty grim outing for a title like that! Join us in yet another rich weirdo house as we discuss hero dogs, weird huts, and another creep-ass monster.

2024 is over! Well, it is for us anyway, here at HaaH, and we're closing the year out with a discussion of the end of What We Do in the Shadows and also a little Christmas slashing and a little dirt goleming.  Then we hit one last 2024 release to talk Cuckoo! Toodle a little flute with us as we talk about weird vomit vibes, unexpected time loops, and screaming.

Short ep this time around! We have some parking garage horror and some Thanksgiving horror just a touch late, and then we're dipping into 2024 again with Azrael! Absolutely refuse to communicate with us as we discuss Burnys, cool guys with trucks, and sad puppy faces.

Happy 250! We chat very briefly about some freakos and some moon spiders before digging into a make/remake double feature of the 2 Suspiria movies! Which Germany do you favor: weird ass woods or nose-pressed to the Berlin wall? Good news, you can have both! Enroll in a prestigious dance academy with us as we discuss some of the wildest rooms you've ever seen, Very Aggressive dancing, maggot rain, sad old men, and, obviously WITCHES

We may have left Horror's Month, but you know that literally nothing changes about our show. We've got voting zombies and "scary" dolls and ghost seeing and Substance Thoughts, before we dive right in to the recent Heretic! Smell some delicious, totally real pie with us as we discuss weird houses, monologuing atheists, and prequel possibilities.

We're back! Rose has returned to the east coast and October is now mostly behind us, so we have more Shocktober offerings to chat about before we discuss 2021's Malignant! Travel to a gothic cliff hospital with us as we talk about dramatic sets, hair monsters, and our love of TAPES.

It's our second bonus of the season, and this time we're featuring Coldly, Tho - a sci-fi horror podcast that definitely isn't usually about Star Trek. It sure isn't about Trek this week: instead we're discussing The Thing, an absolute masterpiece that we're happy to chat about about! Join us for logo secrets, accounting brains, and seriously trying to figure out who all these damn guys are.

What's this?! Back from the dead, it's Coolihans! I'm sorry, I'm hearing in my ear piece- Ghoulihans, today it's Ghoulihans. No matter! Come be a ghost in conversation, as Kelly and Sean reunite (jk, we talk in real life) to do what they do best: ramble about bullshit, with a nominal structure! This time: horror! Sean did spooky homework and we just chat about it, so strap in for decisions about the spookiest sport, reality tv recommendations fulfilled, and honestly way more fighting game lore than I ever anticipated discussing in my whole damn life.

Listen, it's a weird week, but we're still here! October has started, our season, and hurricanes won't stop us from talking about things like: dollification, alien husbands, art satire, ill-defined ghosts, and mildly scaring cooking competitions. Then, it turns out we're heading to the Pacific Northwest to talk about 2024's Arcadian! Fix a golf cart with us as we talk about bad farm neighbors, the kinds of sons you can have, and, uh, these monsters? These weird ass monsters???

I hope you like movies, because we do! We're talking bonkers psychological thrillers, a panoply of fingernail removal, and not one but two separate instances of speaking no evil! Then, we complete 2024's double nun event with The First Omen! Seriously, move to some religious building in Italy with us as we discuss surprising births, weird nuns, and the shackles of prequel-ism.

We went to Halloween Horror Nights and are here to talk about it! That and evil baseball, boring slashing, and made for TV vampires, and all this is before this year's Immaculate! Move to Italy with us as we discuss unhelpful hair thieves, mysterious time periods, and nun training montages.

Kelly has finally gotten a sense of Junji Ito (it's a pun, trust me), before we take a bit of a mulligan and talk about 2006's Christmas classic (???) Dracula! You know, the Masterpiece Theater adaptation of Dracula that's only 89 minutes long? What could possibly go wrong?? Get in the Blair Witch basement with us as we discuss blood cults, how much the Harkers are characters for sure, and syphilis, way more than you might guess.

Hope you enjoy horror comics and semi to full on baffling movies, because that's the beginning of the episode, pretty much. Then we're back in the theater for Trap! Join us at the afternoon Lady Raven concert as we discuss murder apps, dad vibes, and how M. Night Shyamalan's tics and choices pay off or drag down his newest film.

This week we've got some books about gross jerks, and also a vibe-y movie about a messed up family, and then! We cover the brand new Longlegs, so join us for discussing yelling orbs, percentages of psychicness, and the devil, I guess.

It's Kelly's birthday and you want to know how we're celebrating? With haunting visions of sexy ladies, with so many spirals, with letting them badly describe some foundational J-horror! Also, a train. ALSO! Time to cash in some long promised chips (that got away from me) and discuss In the Mouth of Madness! It's 90s John Carpenter, so you know it's cynical, rockin', and also maybe not the best movie to watch for the first time while taking notes - sorry, Rose! Try not to get edited out with us as we discuss Sutter Cane, creature chases, books that are movies that are books, and how chips and drivers should interface. (Nearly posted this with the title info of my Star Trek podcast, doing great!)

Happy July, friends! We're here to tell you about some pretty little liars, and the aging habits of evil immortal teens, and babysitters, and also Godzilla. Then we have some shark... well, I want to say shenanigans, but we're discussing Jaws 3D, which is, uh, not good! Still, enter the undersea kingdom with us as we long for Jaws 2, laugh at the death of wooden puppets, review the ecology of this film, and highlight all the 3D, ahem, "wonders."

We got a lot to talk about this episode! Unkillable high schoolers, weird little girls, cat murder, and (off-season?) haunted houses. Then we talk 2022's Bones and All - ready your hair rope and and your sniffers as we talk about the American love of corn, what parts you have to eat of people you kill, vibes, and Sully.

It's a mostly TV focused episode this week, with some werewolves, some vampires, some liars, and some devils (also Thanksgiving, but that doesn't fit my thesis). Then we cover new release I Saw the TV Glow and discuss sleeping bag folding, soup parties, and regret. [I gotta say, I don't feel like I personally did a good job on this episode, but I hope you enjoy it anyway. Apologies for the crying sounds, if not for the feelings that caused the crying. -K]

This time around Kelly is hitting movies that start with the letter D, and both of us have TV to talk about. Then we're headed back to the straight laced past, with 1954's Them! Bust out of a variety of buildings with us as we discuss fun ant puppets, real flamethrowers, rocket launcher etiquette, and relative levels of ant-panic.

Kelly updates us on Ridley Scott's hilariously grim worldview before we dive right into our topic, brand new release Abigail! Get a too large crew together as we discuss goop as set dressing/makeup, anemic escape attempts, and possible prequel films. Plus: is our interest cursing movies this year??

We're back! (No dinosaur story, sorry.) We have some slashers to tell you about, plus a vampire-ish movie, before we dive on into Lord of Illusions! Join us as we finish out Clive Barker's directorial works as we discuss slutty little outfits, cinematic mindfreaks, world murder, and the hotness of Scott Bakula.

First we're talking about aliens, demons, and scary moments (and also late night television?) before we pointedly refuse to remake an old episode - sure, we covered Pet Sematary before, but this is a different movie! Theoretically! Join us as we travel back to 2019 to talk about lack of oomph, movies faking you out, and sittin' cats.

This time out we have some brand new exorcisms and some old school slashing (and also an existential crisis for Kelly, whoops) before digging into 1992's Ghostwatch! Turn on your British TV and prepared to get hoaxed to death as we discuss spit ghosts, cursed places, early 90s tv tech, and guys where guys shouldn't be!

Do you want to hear about the general area where we grew up? No? Too bad! We also have a lesser King adaptation (another one?!) before moving on to 1976's The Omen! Get given an eerie child as we discuss getting wrecked by packs of dogs, early Final Destination vibes, never checking into anything, and... Baylock attack!

Not a lot of horror around these parts, so we briefly revisit a fav through Mom Reactions(TM) before moving on to new release Lisa Frankenstein! Borrow your step sister's gothest dress as we discuss rude tombstones, ineffectual dads, out of left field axe murders, and body part theft.

This time around we've got a vampire twofer, a real life cursed encounter, and... Agatha Christie?! Then we move on to last year's Suitable Flesh! Swap bodies with us as we discuss rude demons, husbands into getting stabbed, deeply shitty college town Arkham, and the dangers of fucking in open windows.

Do you want to hear about prog rock horror movies? Deeply 90s devil pictures? Oscar front runners AND a form of television that should be kept away from Stephen King?! We have all that for you, and more! Because we're also discussing the brand new Night Swim aka Evil Pool! Get your swimsuit on and dive right in with us as we discuss ill-advised familial trades, just reaching for things in pools, and diving for quarters.

Happy New Year! The holidays isn't always the most horror-ful time, so we have decided to bring you an impromptu double feature: the remake of House on Haunted Hill and the 8 year later direct to dvd sequel Return to House on Haunted Hill! Join us in a big fuck off asylum as we discuss the joys of sets, twisted theme parks, under what circumstances 1999 and 2007 let us look at tits, evil doctors that it turns out are Like That due to evil statues, and scores of nearly identical nobodies. Plus: we go in The Chamber!

It is, apparently, the most chaotic time of the year! Join us, awash in brain broke energy, as we discuss whales that are your dad, snatched bodies, and finish out our season of Justin Long: Horror Boy (...for now). Then! Our unhinged state does not abate, because we're discussing the 2006 Black Christmas remake! Hang out in a highly decorated sorority house with us as we discuss too many girls, criminally insane Christmas, and a heaping helping of eyeball trauma! Plus: we say come and bitch A Lot. Happy Holidays!

As we open the episode, boy, I hope you enjoy hearing about bad things because we have purposefully bad meta-ish fiction and baffling bad anthology film, and also a novella that isn't bad, but that description didn't fit my thesis. Then! It's time for the recent release It's A Wonderful Knife! Finally! Join us for inexplicable magic, discussion of height based entirely off of vibes, a bad-and-then-rancid town, and a lot of sincere love for Great Movie (TM), It's A Wonderful Life. Merry Christmas, Emporium!

This time around on Horror and a Half, we've got confusing novellas, time travel slashers, the up and up investigations of Doctor X, and the end of Goosebumps (for now!). Then! We pivoted to 2005's Red Eye and, well, it might not be a horror movie, but it is a good time! Join us for bathroom stranglings, alien eyes, and Home Alone-ing.

October may be over, but we, as you know, won't stop! There was plenty in the rest of October, so we've got all sorts of goodies, like goofy doctor murders, mid 90s anthology horror, a false ending for Goosebumps, plus we kick around A Quiet Place II and that new Haunted Mansion. Then! HONK HONK! It's time for 1986's Maximum Overdrive! Hide in a truck stop with us as we enjoy a fine Little League game, shoot a surprising number of rockets, and debate whether this movie fundamentally shaped me (Kelly) as a person. (It didn't). 

This time out Rose is considering both exorcists AND wolfmen, while Kelly learned about some more cursed films and also Crystal Lake psychics. Then we are entering a run down apartment for Evil Dead Rise! JOIN US (ahem) as we chat about family vibes, blood elevators, missed opportunities, and less Mommy than you might think.

 Happy pre-Fourth weekend! We haven't been doing much horror stuff, but that gives us plenty of time to dig into a sequel to one of the great films, Jaws 2! Boat on up to a lighthouse with us as we chat about A Million Teens, improbable boat explosions, when and how the freak sets in, and (of course) the Jaws ride.

Happy birthday Rose! What sort of things are we chatting about on our beloved cohost's birthday? Why, nightmare logic, Latin American history, and multiple cinematic ways to kill your family! Then we jump back to 1981 and sideways to a creepy, misty shore to discuss Dead & Buried! Welcome to Potter's Bluff, we have all the conversations you could want: about cinema as an art form, about recognizing faces, about camera creeps!

Happy New Year! Are you ready for haunted houses, haunted motels, and being haunted by the choice of trapping the devil in your basement? Too bad, we are! We're also ready to talk 2022's Bodies Bodies Bodies, a movie so nice they named it thrice! Okay, it's not exactly 'nice',  but we have a good time discussing diegetic lighting, people who shouldn't be friends, how it's okay to have a podcast, and the power of endings.

This time on Horror and a Half we have some real thought experiments for you. Things like: does a weird little monster eat yesterday? Does Rob Zombie think he's funny? Are cats scary? Then we revisit a great 2022 film, Nope! Join us as we once again think about Gordy, meet a series of doomed horses, and try to record the impossible podcast.

On this episode of Horror and a Half Rose has tricks for moms, while Kelly has some poor second life decisions. Then we head out west and also into the past for Prey! Get your loyal dog and your rope axe and join us for some skull cleanings, some bog happenings, and the grim truth - Predators are kind of doofy.

Welcome ghoulfriends! After a hiatus We Are Back! Do you want to hear about various mothers? Do you want to consider a world where people don't hear about movie controversies on twitter? Do you want to not worry, darling? We are here for you! Don't touch that dome!

This time around on Horror and a Half we have some classics and some classic bits - want to hear about The Evil Dead? How about revisit Big Wolf on Campus? Got feelings about American folk horror? We have chat for you! Then, we're finally getting to this year's 5Cream AKA Scream AKA Scream 5! Firmly plan on not returning to Woodsboro with us as we once again try (or not) to who the dunnit, talk about the new twist of parents that care, and desperately try to figure out what this universe's fucking problem is vis a vis Stab.

We're back together after so long! And it turns out we need to talk about barnacles, Michael Myers crying, and definitely Kevin. Then! We dip into a brand new film with 2022's Fresh! Slap on a late title card with us as we discuss clown men, Satanic plates, and weird dancing.

This time around on Horror and a Half Rose is regaling us with an epic tale, while Kelly brings word of gross movie theaters and gross bugs. Then! We're discussing 2021's The Deep House! Make some ill advised SCUBA decisions with us as we discuss shitty boyfriends, corpse chases, and everyone's best man, a CGI fish. Plus: a late stage diversion into... slug men?