I Guess We Can't Have A Podcast

Of course Lindsey Graham dies the day we're back to podcasting.

And Jack was a dusty all along.

So another white artist steals from a brown person. #justiceforangelortiz . And I guess Tyra Banks was terrorizing those models the whole time.

Whatever that means. Ella brownsplains the impact of Bad Bunny.

Bianca Censori has a major art show in Seoul; we got Vanity Fair subscriptions to read you her plot twist.

And Kanye is sorry again.

And as a courtesy, we cover the Beckham drama.

Except for Deuxmoi, who can't stop posting the same Kaia Gerber beach photo.

Anyway, let's check out this Sephora haul.

Ella rolls her eyes at punitive society while Eva is impatient to be blond.

Fresh off the new Diddy doc, Ella explains Jane Austen and Eva considers a career as a horror film actress.

The ladies consider selling out for Bezos.

Eva has gastritis and Ella makes fun of people falling in love with AI.

Did you know pube wigs are from the 1450s? Eva orders a Walmart Birkin.

Taylor Swift's Fate of Ophelia is giving Satellite, and that's OK, but let's start a fund to get Olivia Rodrigo her royalties back.

Seriously wish we didn't.

Since we're not floating up to heaven with Jesus and the Tiktok weirdos, I guess we'll scroll W Magazine's London Fashion Week looks for Spring 2026.

Except for Blake, Kanye and Kim. So all is right in the world, especially now that Tefi's show is back. Just kidding, Trump is still president.

Ella has eye surgery and talks about herself while Eva tries to keep this episode on track.

And Trump is all ears. Plus, the brother of Miley Cyrus explains the dark unhinged behavior of Macaulay Culkin's wife.

In this special episode, we welcome Entertainment PR Specialist Lauryn Love to help us tackle The Macrons' grievances against Candace Owens, Katy Perry's 40th attempt at a comeback this year, Substack, Pamela Anderson, and Sydney Sweeney's racist ad.Follow Lauryn Love at:https://www.tiktok.com/@lauryn_lovehttps://lovelettersbylaurynlove.substack.com/

From digital detoxes to the mighty efforts of drugstore self-care products, the hosts squeeze in the time to make fun of Jeffrey Epstein's birthday card.

We know this doesn't make sense, but does anything?

In this midweek mini update, Naomi Campbell and Miley Cyrus do not care if you paid VIP.

Is this episode our one-way ticket to Florida Auschwitz? Also Emma Stone has eyelids now and Bianca Censori is our hero.

All those billionaires and no one can look good.

Kim Kardashian finally acts right - meanwhile Katy Perry and Hailey Bieber are spotted without their wedding rings.

From skinny trends to the casting and wardrobe disasters of An American Love Story, Ella and Eva get parasocial.

From Meg Ryan's botch job to feet pics, Ella and Eva get to the heart of what really matters which means we finally tackle the Sutton Foster/Hugh Jackman situation.Hear the full episode on our Patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/canthaveapodcast

As we all wait to find out what we already knew, the ladies wonder if the fall of Rome was as stupid as the social media feud currently gripping the world.

Men have it so hard so let's body shame them for an hour.Hear the full episode on our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/canthaveapodcast

And welcome back Josh Hartnett, who hasn't had any fillers.

Are we going to end up in an RFK camp?Subscribe on Patreon for the full episode: https://www.patreon.com/canthaveapodcast

And wtf is Elizabeth Hurley doing in a field with Billy Ray Cyrus?

But he's only emotionally available for trolling politicians.

And wtf was this C-list space team?

The internet is a mosh pit.

MGK is giving Florida baby daddy in this special episode. Why does the cheater get to bask in all the glory when Megan did all the work?

Eva gets ready for the U.N. while Ella drinks coffee and washes her face.

But first Hailey and Justin follow Selena and Benny to Disneyland.

Eva rhapsodizes America's best attribute while Ella yells at people who somehow opposable-thumbed their way to a cellphone.

Will Justin Bieber's pants lead to a national fabric shortage?

Also, why is there nacho cheese in the bathtub

We've all had way too much Blake - so let's give Kanye the attention he's so desperately begging for, which is to say that we're so bored with edgelords.

These celebrities are out of control. #hilariabaldwin #joeexotic #justinbieber #johnnydepp #amberheard #machinegunkelly

Poor Justin Baldoni. We're going to tackle this lawsuit one crazy allegation at a time.

As Lynch exits stage left, the ladies grapple with edgelords and people who just don't get it.

plus Cameron Hamilton from Love Is Blind liked our reel.

and John Mulaney's a big mess.

We were fooled by the smear campaign against Blake Lively, too.

Eva eats sourdough bread slices while Ella rips into Machine Gun Kelly.