Podcasts about hallucinating

How are DMT experiences neurologically different to hallucinations? How does DMT alter the world modelling of our brains? What evidence is there that the brain is receiving information on DMT rather than modelling it?In this episode we have the extraordinary neuroscience of DMT to discuss, one of the most powerful mind altering substances on the planet. We discuss the history of research into its effects; relevant neuroscience; research into the mystical experiences it induces; the statistical significance of repeated, highly specific yet unearthly places and entities reported by experiencers across eras and cultures; experiments that extend the DMT experience for longer periods of time; the metaphysical implications if any; and finally we consider the mind bending possibility that the otherworldly creatures and realities experiencers repeatedly encounter could be actual realities connecting with our brains via DMT.Fortunately to navigate these mysterious results and ideas, we have chemist, computational neuroscientist and author Andrew Gallimore as our guide. Gallimore has written 16 scientific papers and three books including, “Reality Switch Technologies: Psychedelics as Tools for the Discovery and Exploration of New Worlds”, “Alien Information Theory: Psychedelic Drug Technologies and the Cosmic Game”, and his brand new book, “Death By Astonishment, confronting the mystery of the world's strangest drug” which we'll be focussing on in this episode.What we discuss:00:00 Intro.08:30 How DMT binds to the brain.09:50 Receptors are like a cell's perception organs.14:25 The cascading of electrical patterns across neurones.16:50 The big differences between DMT and 5meoDMT.18:50 Hierarchical structure of model processing. Wilder Penfield, 1950's.26:20 Primary visual cortex stimulated even with eyes closed - fMRI DMT research.32:20 Hallucinating schizophrenics don't have the same activity in the primary visual cortex.34:25 Evidence that DMT users are accessing information rather than hallucinating.42:50 DMT forms and entities are not like the terrestrial biosphere.50:00 High DMT levels in neo-natal rats.52:30 Sasha Shulgin - Chemist inventor of 230 psychedelics.59:30 Mystical experiences and their effects.01:09:00 The default mode network and self/other distinction. 01:14:00 Extended state DMT intravenously - experiments.01:19.00 Mental health applications of DMT.01:25:30 Is DMT a communication technology?01:28:26 The science of ayahuasca brew recipes. 01:32:30 The possibility that non-human intelligence is the source of these experiences.01:38:00 Common messages and themes in DMT experiences.01:40:00 Similarities between DMT and non-human entity experiences?01:48:00 A cosmic game - Andrew's metaphysical model.01:53:00 Can we test these information theoretic approaches?References:Andrew Gallimore, “Death by Astonishment, Confronting the Mystery of the World's Strangest Drug”.Andrea Alamia, Chris Timmermann et al, “DMT alters cortical travelling waves"Jordi Riba et al.- “Effects of the South American psychoactive beverage ayahuasca on regional brain electrical activity”David Lawrence - DMT Entity quantitive study, CC interview.Stephen Szára - Hungarian chemist DMT experimentsDavid Foulkes - Children's dreams evolve in complexity as they get older.Alexander “Sasha” Shulgin - Chemist, inventor of 230 psychedelics.Mystical Experience and improved mental health meta analysisExtended State DMTx - NoonauticsPsychelic retreat centre - Eleusis

VR can fool your nervous system into responding as if a constructed environment is completely real. If perception is an actively constructed model, and reality is essentially a shared hallucination, what exactly are we living in?Dr. Eric Cunningham—professor of history, specialist in modern Japanese intellectual history, and author of Tarot Meditations and the Gospel of John —returns to Higher Density Living to explore the ancient architectures of our modern simulation.In this deep dive, we connect the dots between Gnostic cosmology, Rudolf Steiner's Anthroposophy, and the explosive rise of artificial intelligence. We examine how AI large language models function as procedural generation engines, mimicking consciousness without actually possessing it—a perfect digital reflection of the Demiurge.What we explore in this episode:The Gnostic Matrix: A look into the Nag Hammadi library, the creation of the material prison by the Demiurge (Yaldabaoth), and why salvation comes through direct interior knowledge (Gnosis) rather than blind faith.Steiner's Warnings: How Rudolf Steiner viewed the physical universe as "Maya" (a projected interface) and foresaw the spiritual dangers of mechanization and Ahrimanic technologies over a century ago.Consciousness & Physics: Unpacking Donald Hoffman's interface theory, the hard problem of consciousness, and the Cambridge review paper detailing how our universe is mathematically fine-tuned to an impossible degree.AI as Demiurgic Mimicry: Why artificial intelligence is the ultimate mirror of a blind god—generating outputs and patterns without true meaning or a pneumatic spark.The Path Forward: Practical applications of Steiner's threefold path of imagination, inspiration, and intuition, and how we can act as "lucid dreamers" to beautify and redeem the simulation we find ourselves in.Pick up Dr. Cunningham's new book, Tarot Meditations and the Gospel of John, available in paperback through Ethics Press International and Amazon. Other referenced works include Hallucinating the End of History and the Lucifer Versus... series

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This week, Brandon talks about a sea monster that isn't a lump of fat or a whale penis! Merch: https://www.etsy.com/shop/cryptopediamerch Discord: https://discord.gg/AWpen8aYQG Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/user?u=14015340 YouTube (Videos have [questionable] captions!): http://youtube.cryptopediacast --- Big stories about big squids: The story of the Britannia and the birth of a wartime urban legend - Jonathan Dyer  

Send us a textGet your National Running Show tickets for just £5 with the promo code BADBOY.https://nationalrunningshow.comLove the podcast and these videos? Buy us a beer! https://www.buymeacoffee.com/badboyrunning Join the Bad Boy Running Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/badboyrunning Visit the Bad Boy Running store for merchandise: https://store.badboyrunning.com Join the Bad Boy Running Club here: https://club.badboyr...

Gunnar grew up in what looked like the perfect family - until addiction slowly unraveled everything. After his parents fell deeper into their own substance use, his mother disappeared without a word, leaving Gunnar to navigate a childhood suddenly marked by instability and pain.By his teens, he turned to meth and heroin, beginning a long cycle of drug court, jail stays, and surviving on the streets of downtown San Diego. But Gunnar's story didn't end there. Through grit, recovery, and a community that believed in him, he rebuilt his life from the ground up.Now three years sober, Gunnar has graduated college and applied to graduate school with a mission: to advocate for the homeless community he once belonged to and push for real policy change.This episode is a powerful testament to resilience, redemption, and the impact of turning lived experience into purpose.DM me on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Message me on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Listen AD FREE & workout with me on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Connect with me on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Email me chasingheroine@gmail.comSee you next week!

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We like to believe our senses show us the world as it is. But what if your brain is quietly “editing” reality before you ever notice it? In his new book, A Trick of the Mind, psychologist and neuroscientist Daniel Yon explains how the brain builds theories about the world, other people, and even ourselves—and why understanding that process can change how we handle stress, conflict, and decision‑making.

We're joined once again by the moustachioed marvel himself, Ben Lippett — ex-chef, recipe writer, and the creative force behind Dinner by Ben. This time he's back with something truly special: his debut cookbook, landing next week.Over an incredible spread pulled straight from its pages, Ben talks us through the dishes that shaped the book — from chicken with hot green tahini to his legendary focaccia — and why he believes real cooking at home doesn't need to be rushed, dumbed down, or intimidating. We dig into the philosophy behind the recipes, the importance of seasoning (and knowing when to stop), why mistakes are part of the process, and how to find joy in cooking food you're actually hungry for.Ben also reflects on his journey from tough restaurant kitchens in Melbourne, New York, and London to food media, Mob, and now his first solo book. Expect candid stories of nightmare staff meals, offal experiments that didn't make the cut, dream restaurant weekends away, and the dishes that still blow his mind.With 110 recipes across 10 chapters, Ben's book is generous, deeply practical, and packed with the kind of know-how that makes you a better, more confident cook. Pre-order now (link in bio) and join us for a behind-the-scenes taste of one of the most exciting cookbook launches of the year.Order Ben's Incredible Book Here - https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Cook-really-cooking-recipes/dp/0008715998---------Please leave us a great rating and a comment and share it with your friends - it really helps us grow as a show.If you're in the industry and are looking for the greatest POS system in the world than look no further -as Blinq are tearing up the rulebook—no long-term contracts, no hidden fees, and no per-device charges.Just £49 a month for unlimited devices and 24/7 UK-based support that's always there, in person when you need it.Built for hospitality, by hospitality, blinq is the fastest, easiest POS system on the market—so intuitive, anyone can use it. And while others take weeks to get you up and running, with blinq, you're live in just 2 hours.Join the hospitality revolution today & use the code GOTOBLINQ to get your first month free - https://blinqme.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ever wondered if your brain is fooling you into seeing the world differently? Dr. Daniel Yon, a cognitive neuroscientist, reveals how your brain doesn't just observe reality—it actively creates it.Explore how your mind constructs its own version of reality through predictive models, and why you might be "hallucinating" your experiences without even knowing it. Dr. Yon dives into how we can reshape our mental models to thrive in a world full of uncertainty.Don't miss out on this eye-opening conversation that will completely shift your perspective on perception, belief, and personal growth.Tune in to unlock the secrets your brain is hiding from you!ℹ️ About the GuestDr. Daniel Yon is a cognitive neuroscientist and the author of A Trick of the Mind, a groundbreaking book that explores how our brains actively invent the reality we experience. His work sheds new light on how we perceive the world, challenging conventional views of perception. Dr. Yon is also the director of The Uncertainty Lab, where his team investigates how the brain handles uncertainty and adapts to an unpredictable world.InstagramX (formerly Twitter)BlueskyWebsite

Psychiatrist, internist, and addiction medicine specialist Muhamad Aly Rifai discusses his article, "In medicine and law, professions that society relies upon for accuracy." He argues that labeling AI errors as "hallucinations" is a dangerous euphemism that trivializes real psychiatric conditions and downplays the serious threat these errors pose to professions built on trust. He insists on using the term "fabrications" to accurately describe the plausible-sounding but often entirely false information generated by large language models. Citing alarming examples, including a study where 47 percent of AI-generated medical citations were fake and a legal case built on invented precedents, Muhamad explains how these fabrications directly threaten patient safety and justice. With no clear accountability for algorithmic errors, he calls for urgent action, including rigorous education on AI's limitations, mandatory disclosure of its use, and a commitment to terminology that reflects the ethical gravity of the problem. Careers by KevinMD is your gateway to health care success. We connect you with real-time, exclusive resources like job boards, news updates, and salary insights, all tailored for health care professionals. With expertise in uniting top talent and leading employers across the nation's largest health care hiring network, we're your partner in shaping health care's future. Fulfill your health care journey at KevinMD.com/careers. VISIT SPONSOR → https://kevinmd.com/careers Discovering disability insurance? Pattern understands your concerns. Over 20,000 doctors trust us for straightforward, affordable coverage. We handle everything from quotes to paperwork. Say goodbye to insurance stress – visit Pattern today at KevinMD.com/pattern. VISIT SPONSOR → https://kevinmd.com/pattern SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST → https://www.kevinmd.com/podcast RECOMMENDED BY KEVINMD → https://www.kevinmd.com/recommended

The digital landscape is evolving at breakneck speed, and with it comes a host of unexpected consequences that blur the lines between helpful innovation and concerning overreach. In this eye-opening episode, we examine how AI is creeping into spaces where human judgment and empathy might better serve us.A troubling new wave of voice phishing attacks has emerged, with cybercriminals using AI to perfectly mimic human voices in real-time conversations. Even tech giant Google fell victim to this sophisticated approach when the notorious Shiny Hunters group breached their Salesforce CRM instance. The days of obvious phishing emails are behind us – now your boss's voice on the phone might actually be an AI impersonation designed to extract sensitive information.Our special guest Nick Espinoza joins us to unpack the fascinating world of AI competitions, revealing how OpenAI's model recently outperformed Elon Musk's Grok in a chess tournament. But the conversation takes a more serious turn when we discuss government pushes for backdoor access to AI chips – ostensibly for security, but creating vulnerabilities that could be exploited. Most alarming is the FDA's implementation of AI in drug approval processes, with former employees reporting the system hallucinating non-existent studies and misrepresenting research.The human cost of AI overreach becomes clear when we explore the growing trend of using chatbots for psychological support. As one journalist discovered when using ChatGPT for couples counseling, these systems lack the empathy and insight necessary for therapeutic work, exhibiting "sycophancy" by agreeing with users rather than providing objective guidance. On a lighter note, we tackle Nintendo's official announcement that Mario has been friend-zoned by Princess Peach after four decades of rescue missions, and share the tale of a man who successfully sued Google after Street View captured him naked in his private backyard despite having a tall privacy wall.Pour yourself a glass and join us as we taste Still Austin Straight Rye whiskey while navigating the complex intersection of technology, privacy, and human connection in our rapidly evolving digital world.Support the show

Volume 54 of Brad & Mira For the Culture...Brad wanders the hills, contemplating mountain lions and death...Mira's ant infestation...Mira in retrograde...Sydney Sweeney's iron domes...Pam and Liam 4ever...Rod Stewart's A.I. necrophilia...Denise Richards' ex euthanizes her dog??...and more... *** ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Otherppl with Brad Listi⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is a weekly podcast featuring in-depth interviews with today's leading writers. Available where podcasts are available: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, etc. Subscribe to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Brad Listi's email newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Support the show on Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Merch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bluesky⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email the show: letters [at] otherppl [dot] com The podcast is a ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠proud affiliate partner of Bookshop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, working to support local, independent bookstores. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It was an exclusive member stream for members. It's always a pleasure when James True graces the Virtual Alexandria. He'll give the high-level dope on the current Artificial Intelligence craze, as well as other social firebombs like Epstein, Trangenderism, and Conspiracies. He'll also explain why we're hallucinating our reality and why a reset might be imminent. And more, including ideas from his book, Black-Eye Club (Quantum Rapture). Get the book: https://amzn.to/4lSuH8h More on James: https://jtrue.com/ Get The Occult Elvis: https://amzn.to/4jnTjE4 The Gnostic Tarot: https://www.makeplayingcards.com/sell/synkrasis Homepage: https://thegodabovegod.com/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/aeonbyte AB Prime: https://thegodabovegod.com/members/subscription-levels/ Virtual Alexandria Academy: https://thegodabovegod.com/virtual-alexandria-academy/ Voice Over services: https://thegodabovegod.com/voice-talent/ Support with donation: https://buy.stripe.com/00g16Q8RK8D93mw288Stream All Astro Gnosis Conferences for the price of one: https://thegodabovegod.com/replay-sophia/

https://slasrpodcast.com/      SLASRPodcast@gmail.com   Welcome to episode 202 of the sounds like a search and rescue podcast, this week we are joined by friend of the show and bushwahacker extraordinaire, Dave Shits in the Woods. Dave is going to provide a recent trip report on his backpacking trip on the Wantastiquet Monadnock trail. Plus a look back at July of 1988 - the case of James Foley a missing hiker that was unfortunately found deceased after a 10 day search, all this and recent hikes on Wachusett, The Dry River to Mt. Monroe and rescues on Mount Washington and the Great Gulf Trail, gear review, dad jokes and strategies to avoid grizzly bear attacks.   This weeks Higher Summit Forecast SLASR 48 Peaks Alzheimers team - Join here!    Topics Dave is back Three things Nick cannot do and Brady Bunch talk Music Minute - Bruce Hornsby  NH Search and Rescue Events - Mt. Washington and Great Gulf rescues Straight line challenge  National and Global SAR News  Guy dives head first into his car to avoid a Grizzly Hiker falls off a cliff due to altitude sickness Boston man falls into a volcano  Brazil hiker falls into volcano  Pony Express Gear talk - Silky Saw, Deer Fly Tape, camp pillow, dragon fly pin Dave breaks down the Wantastiquet Monadnock Trail  Nick hikes Wachusett Mike hikes the Dry River to Mt. Monroe Notable Hikes of the week  The Case of James Foley from July 1988  Stephen Harvard Search from July 1988   Show Notes Apple Podcast link for 5 star reviews SLASR Merchandise SLASR LinkTree SLASR's BUYMEACOFFEE Injured Climber Flown Off Mount Washington Hiker Rescued From Great Gulf Trail Magnus's attempt in Norway Man dives headfirst through an open car window to avoid grizzly. Hallucinating hiker walks right off a cliff Bostonian falls 30 feet into boiling caldera at Hawaii's Volcano Park Brazilian Dancer / Influencer falls into Volcano in Indoneia Pony Express delivers mail through the historic Oregon Trail A dangerous trip back in the day Man dives headfirst through an open car window to avoid grizzly. Hallucinating hiker walks right off a cliff Bostonian falls 30 feet into boiling caldera at Hawaii's Volcano Park Brazilian Dancer / Influencer falls into Volcano in Indoneia Pony Express delivers mail through the historic Oregon Trail A dangerous trip back in the day Sponsors, Friends  and Partners Wild Raven Endurance Coaching 2024 Longest Day - 48 Peaks Mount Washington Higher Summits Forecast Hiking Buddies  Vaucluse - Sweat less. Explore more. – Vaucluse Gear Fieldstone Kombucha CS Instant Coffee

If you want to know what's going on in the world, do not ask A.I. chatbots. We'll tell you why. Plus - while WWDC didn't go huge on privacy and security, it did bring some tweaks to Parental Controls and child accounts. We'll look into those on this edition of The Checklist, brought to you by SecureMac. Check out our show notes: SecureMac.com/Checklist And get in touch with us: Checklist@Securemac.com

Summary   Explore the mystical parallels between the Tarot and the Gospel of John in this profound conversation with Professor Eric Cunningham. Delve into Christian Hermeticism, Rudolf Steiner's esoteric insights, and the role of the Fool as a cosmic archetype. This episode offers seekers a fresh lens on spiritual initiation and inner transformation through symbolism, scripture, and soul.   Overview   In this illuminating episode of Higher Density Living, Jason Rigby welcomes back Eric Cunningham, Professor of History at Gonzaga University and a leading voice in esoteric studies and Zen thought. With expertise in modern Japanese intellectual history, Anthroposophy, and spirituality in the digital age, Eric bridges Valentin Tomberg's Meditations on the Tarot with the mystical Gospel of John to reveal a shared path of Christian initiation.   Together, they explore how the Major Arcana — from the Fool to the World — mirror the spiritual evolution depicted in the Gospel. From Steiner's vision of thinking as spiritual perception to John the Baptist as the archetypal Fool, Cunningham reframes the Tarot not as occult divination, but as divine revelation. This dialogue invites listeners to expand beyond dogma, meditate on mystery, and activate higher density consciousness through spiritual symbols and inner truth.   Timestamps     00:01 – Mystical Union Begins: Tarot meets the Gospel of John. 03:21 – Christian Hermeticism 101: Valentin Tomberg's cosmic map. 07:05 – Tripartite Path: Mysticism, Gnosis, and Sacred Magic decoded. 13:29 – The Fool's Descent: Logos incarnate and the dissociative barrier. 19:36 – Amor and Divine Madness: Fool as archetype of pure love. 23:04 – Resurrection and Integration: Tarot's sequence as spiritual evolution. 28:26 – Reverse Reading & Genesis: Tarot through Steiner's inner path. 31:12 – The Fifth Dimension: Apocalypse, ascension, and new Earth.     Quotes “The Fool is the soul at the edge of transcendence, letting go of all certainties.” – Eric Cunningham “If the Gospel of John and the Tarot are both Christian initiations, they must need each other.” – Eric Cunningham “You don't need to figure this out. You need to think about it — that's enough.” – Jason Rigby   Guest Bio   Eric Cunningham is a Professor of History at Gonzaga University specializing in modern Japanese intellectual history, Zen Buddhism, Anthroposophy, psychedelia, and postmodernism. He holds an MA in modern Japanese literature and a PhD in History from the University of Oregon. Eric is the author of several works including Hallucinating the End of History, Zen Past and Present, and The Luciferic Versus. He lectures globally on topics such as esotericism, film, and spiritual consciousness in the digital age.

Send us a textIn this episode we interview Casey Cheshire, founder of Ringmaster Conversational Marketing.What you'll learn in this episode:Why most marketing content fails to connect—and how to fix itHow “connection casting” flips the podcasting model on its headThe reason AI hallucinations mirror human marketing habitsHow to create customer-led content without relying on flawed surveysTactical steps to invite and feature ideal buyers on your podcastA real story of a podcast episode turning into a six-figure dealWhy focusing on relationships—not conversions—drives long-term growth

Ok, so vulnerable MCP tools are a thing now? Ken demonstrates installing and running an intentionally vulnerable MCP server with a bunch of example issues. Following is a discussion of the recent article and research around hallucinations of 3rd party dependencies/libraries in AI-Generated Python and JavaScript. New attack targets all dependent on how creative the LLM is allowed to be. A short aside on why we talk about AI and LLMs so much.

Have you ever wondered what happens when ancient religious texts and hallucinogenic experiences collide? Our latest deep dive into the Book of Revelation might just convince you that John of Patmos was experiencing something far more chemical than divine.Taking you straight through heaven's door in Chapter 4, we explore John's fantastical descriptions of beings that shine like precious stones, a floor made of glass "like unto crystal," and creatures covered in eyes with faces of lions, calves, men, and eagles. We compare these vivid visions to documented medical cases of hallucinations, including a fascinating 2022 paper describing patients who see "colourful crystal sheens" during altered states of consciousness. The parallels are undeniable and hilarious.The biblical connections run deep as we trace John's inspiration to earlier prophets like Ezekiel and Isaiah, showing how he borrowed elements from their visions while adding his own psychedelic twist. We dissect the significance of jasper and sardine stones, analyze the mysterious sea of glass (with at least six competing interpretations), and question whether eternal existence spent repeating "Holy, holy, holy" truly represents paradise.Our irreverent analysis adds yet another theory to what Revelation might actually be – beyond prophecy, coded rebellion literature, xenophobic propaganda, or incel manifesto, we now must consider "hallucination dream journal" as a strong possibility. Whether you're a skeptic, a believer, or somewhere in between, our comedic breakdown offers fresh insights into this ancient text that continues to fascinate and perplex readers across millennia. Listen now, and remember – as we always say at the end – that's why Satan is my superhero.

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On this episode of the Run the Riot Podcast, we sit down with Leah Vincent, an adventurous ultrarunner, backpacker, and all-around endurance junkie. From hiking the John Muir Trail to tackling Moab 240, Leah shares her wild journey of overcoming extreme conditions, hallucinations, and the unexpected challenges that come with pushing human limits. We chat about: Her terrifying first backpacking trip, which involved drug addicts and a blizzard The mental battles of ultrarunning and how she overcame a tough DNF Moab 240 stories, including the highs, the lows, and hallucinations of dragons and video games The power of community and why ultrarunning is not just a solo sport Her upcoming races, including Badwater Salton Sea and crewing the inaugural Monster 300 Whether you're an ultrarunner or just love stories of endurance and grit, this episode will inspire you to push beyond what you thought was possible. Show notes: http://www.theriot.run/leahv Get Magic Mind You have a limited offer you can use now, that gets you up to 48% off your first subscription with code RUNTHERIOTPOD at checkout You can claim it at:  http://magicmind.runtheriot.run

The English electronic duo Maribou State released a new album, Hallucinating Love on January 31st. KEXP's Tia Ho talked with the band about the hardships they faced during the recording process, including getting diagnosed with a rare brain condition, and how it's all reflected in their most personal album to date. Support the show: https://www.kexp.org/sound/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As Lynch exits stage left, the ladies grapple with edgelords and people who just don't get it.

Joe Hardin is an ultra-marathoner, writer for RunTriBike, fellow podcast host (Beyond the Finish Line) and lives in Indiana. During this episode, sponsored by Athlete Bouquets, we talk about: His sobriety birthday and how his family celebrates it more than his actual birthday  The impact the pandemic had on him as he was newly sober His upbringing that was divided between his military father and single mom  When he tried to join the military and follow in his dad's footsteps but he couldn't because he has asthma  His short stint in college after high school and finding a job in trade  Cassie, the mother of his kids and woman he's married twice  The night he put down his last drink  How he got into woodworking and started his business, HT Hardwood Designs His weight-loss journey that started the day after his first sobriety birthday  The first race he ever did at 38 years old, a Thanksgiving 5K, the Gravy Chase Finding his way to the Prairie on Fire backyard ultra and running his first ultra marathon (link to the John Kuhn film) The weirdest thing he's eaten during an ultra marathon His IT100 miler DNF (did not finish) and PSA to wear bug spray to help avoid getting Lyme disease   Hallucinating during an ultra and what he thought he saw (it's so random) RunTriBike and Joe's friendship with the founders, Aum Gandhi (EP12) and Jason Bahamundi This is a SandyBoy Productions podcast.

Full episode released to subscribers: 20 Jun 2024 | Subscribe --> https://newmodels.io _ Hallucinating Sense in the Era of Infinity Content Written & read by Caroline Busta Document Journal SS24 https://www.documentjournal.com/2024/05/technical-images-film01-angelicism-art-showtime-true-detective-shein/ What if, in a time of infinity content, a meta-reading of the shape and feel of content has become a survival skill? What if we thought about generative AI more as an expression of an epochal shift in human communication than a root cause? More than transmitting specific information, “content”—whether a mukbang video or this 3600 word essay—is now foremost a conductor of “vibes.” "Hallucinating Sense in the Era of Infinity Content" was written in early 2024 by Caroline Busta for Document Journal SS 2024. Editors: Drew Zeiba & Camille Sojit Pechat  Audio production: Lil Internet In the training data: Vilém Flusser, Kevin Munger, K Allado McDowell, Holly Herndon & Mat Dryhurst, Jon Rafman, Dean Kissick, Theo Anthony, Lola Jusidman, Film01, Bernard Stiegler, Olivia Kan-Sperling, Chris Blohm, Niklas Bildstein Zaar, Andreas Grill, Anna Uddenberg, Simon Denny, Trevor Paglen, Joshua Citarella, Jak Ritger, Hari Kunzru, Loretta Fahrenholz, Dorian Electra, Michael Franz, Kolja Reichart, Shein, Lil Internet & the NM Discord.

Jane Kanizay is an adventurer, educator, activist, speaker, artist and mother of four who on 14 May 2022 successfully climbed Mt. Everest with her 19-year-old daughter. Jane enjoys sharing the highs and lows of her Everest experience and the journey of resilience required to take on such an immense challenge as a survivor. Jane climbed with the message of @teachusconsent to campaign for holistic consent education in school education curriculum and to advocate for the prevention of violence against women. To have a message to take to the summit provided additional strength on the days Jane had reached her physical or emotional limits. High altitude mountaineering is one of the deadliest sports in the world. Jane successfully summited mountains above 6000m plus an 8000m summit of Cho Oyu, Tibet, to prepare her for the extreme environment of Everest, considered to be in the ‘death zone' above 8000m where oxygen content is only 34% compared with sea level. Listening to Jane on the Tough Girl Podcast offers a rare insight into the mental and physical fortitude it takes to summit Everest, but also the deeper purpose behind her journey.  Through her incredible story, Jane not only inspires adventurers but also advocates for change, sharing how carrying a message of consent and empowerment gave her the strength to push through her limits.  Her story will resonate with anyone looking to overcome challenges, build resilience, and find purpose in their own lives.   Don't miss out on the latest episodes of the Tough Girl Podcast, released every Tuesday at 7am UK time! Be sure to hit the subscribe button to stay updated on the incredible journeys and stories of strong women.  By supporting the Tough Girl Podcast on Patreon, you can make a difference in increasing the representation of female role models in the media, particularly in the world of adventure and physical challenges. Your contribution helps empower and inspire others. Visit www.patreon.com/toughgirlpodcast to be a part of this important movement.  Thank you for your invaluable support!   Show notes Who is Jane Mother of four, living with one child Mountain climbing with her eldest daughter, Gabby Being motivated by Gabby's dream to climb Completing several trips to the Himalayas Reaching Everest's summit together on 14 May 2022 Becoming the second mother-daughter pair to summit Everest Growing up in an athletic family Having siblings achieving high levels in sports Discussing her childhood experiences with athletics Her belief in ordinary people achieving extraordinary things The importance of family support in sports and life Starting running marathons at 33 after having four children Transitioning from marathon running to trekking and climbing in her late 40s Remembering her 40s as an empowering period, winning races in her age group When Gabby's interest in climbing started The mother-daughter duo's plans evolved into larger climbing goals over time Gabby reflecting on her experience, appreciating the timing of climbing at age 19 Climbing experience which fostered a unique friendship They relate differently outside of typical family roles Maintaining their bond while balancing parenting responsibilities Initially planned to finance their climbs through a mortgage and potential scholarships Selling their house and funding the majority of the trip Adapting to unexpected financial changes Gabby's focus on balancing her love for climbing while pursuing an income in the industry Jane's reflections on the dynamics among her children regarding climbing adventures How she has navigated potential feelings of jealousy among her children Sharing her experience of climbing Everest with Gabby The dynamic of being both mother and climbing partner How they communicated effectively at base camp Gabby often acted as a mentor, helping Jane to regain confidence during tough moments A pivotal moment at Camp Four where she doubted her strength to continue Getting encouraged by Gabby to persevere Reflecting on precious time spent with her children Prioritising family over personal ambitions Societal concerns about young climbers tackling high peaks Jane's internal struggles regarding the ethics of taking Gabby on such a dangerous expedition Engaging with other young adventurers and parents The meticulous preparation and strategy leading up to their summit attempt The challenging conditions they encountered The summit push filled with historical significance and personal reflections Jane leading the ascent, following in the footsteps of climbing legends A heartwarming moment for Jane spotting Gabby approaching the summit The "Teach Us Consent" campaign Jane's desire for her sons to be good allies and her daughters to be safe The pyramid of abuse Advocating for calling out disrespectful behaviour Creating a safer environment for women Experiencing vision problems while descending Hallucinating due to altitude sickness Dealing with laryngitis and media attention after her climb Building a supportive network among women Final words of wisdom   Social Media Website: janekanizay.com  Instagram: @jane_kaniz   

Kody lives a comfortable life with schizophrenia thanks to his pup Lucy, who's always able to tell him when he's hallucinating. Rescued by a Dog - Patreon Membership!To support the podcast with $5/month (cancel anytime), go to patreon.com/rescuedbyadogpodcast! Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Runners from around the world came to Moab last week to compete in an ultramarathon called the Moab 240. Participants had 117 hours to traverse a 240-mile loop from Moab to Indian Creek, up the Abajos, into the La Sals, and back to town. Most runners average about 90 minutes of sleep per night, and the extreme exhaustion causes many of them to hallucinate. We talk to runners Aum Gandhi and Alicia Jenkins-Browder about the physical and psychological tolls of a race like this. Photo: Runners cheer for Trevon Hauth, the last runner to finish the race with just six minutes to spare before the cutoff.

In this episode, we break down the latest One Piece chapter and uncover hidden clues—could Nami be hallucinating in Elbaf's mysterious castle? Rico and CJ discuss what's really going on, from Luffy's evolving weapons to missing gear dialogues. Then, we dive deep into wild Elbaf arc theories, predictions, and what major twists fans can expect. Don't miss these jaw-dropping insights!Flight team Links: https://www.crossworksmedia.com/ (https://www.youtube.com/redirect?event=video_description&redir_token=QUFFLUhqbVJxQy05Q1ZzVFU5VThJaDU5clVDemo2YzBJQXxB

Welcome back to the Weird & Proud podcast! This week we discuss: - Chimp Crazy on HBO - Haunted Tunnels - James' Science Corner: Expectations & of course weird secrets including: - Hallucinating while sleeping - Handcuffs gone wrong - Will I get fired? & more! Make sure to leave us your own weird secret at www.speakpipe.com/weirdandproudpod and follow us on Instagram @Weirdandproudpod - we love you weirdos! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/weirdandproud/support

Sign up for Montana Meltdown: https://ultrasignup.com/register.aspx?eid=17896 In this podcast episode, I sit down with Aaron Barber to dive into his experiences in trail running and race directing. We chat about the challenges of racing in extreme heat, like the Circle of Hell and the Phoenician 50k, and explore international events like a hundred in the Philippines. Aaron shares some wild stories, including his unique hallucination experiences during races and the hurdles of racing in a different culture. Follow Aaron on Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/aaron.goes.up/ We also talk about how he got into trail running, his transition from road running and triathlons, and how he made his way into race directing. Towards the end, we offer tips and advice for anyone looking to break into the trail running industry. We wrap up by discussing the importance of putting runners first and ensuring a positive race experience. I believe trail running will continue to grow, with more competitive races and greater national exposure on the horizon. takeaways Aaron Barber shares his experiences in trail running and race directing He discusses races in extreme heat and international races Aaron talks about his unique hallucination experiences during races He explains the challenges of racing in a different culture Aaron shares how he got into trail running and his transition from road running and triathlons The episode ends with tips and advice for getting into the trail running industry Transitioning from one sport to another requires a shift in training mindset and approach. Volunteering and being involved in the community can lead to opportunities in the outdoor industry. Race directing involves logistical challenges and the need to prioritize the runner's experience. Trail running is experiencing growth and may see more competitive races and increased national exposure. Sound Bites "The Circle of Hell: A race in Phoenix in July with 110+ degree heat" "The Phoenician 50k: A brutal race with 11,500 feet of vert in Phoenix" " A hardcore 100-mile race in the Philippines with 33,000 feet of vert" "Volunteering, rubbing elbows, saying yes to giving someone a ride back to town. You never know who that's going to be." "Seeing elites or fast people in general at an aid station is such a huge bonus to runners." "Everyone shares the same start line and has to run the same route. It's pretty crazy that there's a sport like that." Chapters 00:00 Racing in Extreme Heat: Circle of Hell and Phoenician 50k 07:10 International Races: in the Philippines 11:55 Hallucination Experiences and Challenges in Trail Running 22:54 Transitioning from Road Running and Triathlons to Trail Running 22:54 Tips and Advice for Getting into the Trail Running Industry 24:49 Transitioning from Triathlon to Trail Running 31:29 Becoming a Race Director 32:57 Dealing with Fires and Route Changes 39:08 Working at Aravipa and the Future of Trail Running Buy Merch to support: https://www.freeoutside.com/shop Buy my book "Free Outside" on Amazon: https://amzn.to/39LpoSF Email me to buy a signed copy of my book, "Free Outside" at jeff@freeoutside.com Watch the movie about setting the record on the Colorado Trail: https://tubitv.com/movies/100019916/free-outside Website: www.Freeoutside.com Instagram: thefreeoutside facebook: www.facebook.com/freeoutside trail running, race directing, extreme heat, international races, hallucinations, challenges, transition, trail running, race directing, outdoor industry, career advice, challenges, putting runners first, growth, aravipa running, mountain outpost

Author Martha Brockenbrough joins me to discuss her new book FUTURE TENSE: HOW WE MADE ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE -- AND HOW IT WILL CHANGE EVERYTHING. We're tackling your burning AI-related questions, such as: Should authors and illustrators be worried about AI? HOW worried? Are there ethical ways to utilize AI technology? How can AI help us, and how can it hurt? If Aunt Gladys won't stop posting weird AI images of big-eyed baby peacocks on her Facebook page, should you un-invite her to Thanksgiving dinner? Should we all throw our phones into the ocean and move to an underground bunker? MAYBE! Tune in to find out! Links to all the books we discussed, and more, can be found in the show notes: https://www.jenniferlaughran.com/literaticast

In this episode, Sandy and Nora talk about how we need public options for verification as AI hallucinates itself into telling us to eat glue on our pizza. Plus -- financial literacy classes and a premier who blames immigrants on antisemitism. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When psychologist Ariane Beeston started having delusions after the birth of her son, and hallucinating that he was a dragon, she had to learn how to become the patient

In this episode Brian, Troy, and Alex talk about AI hallucinations, and how they mirror human misperceptions. Troy believes the open web and traditional media will still hold value, while Alex thinks AI and platforms like Google and social media will take over. They also touch on the future of ad-supported AI services and SEO, Vivek Ramaswamy's anti-BuzzFeed campaign and a genius idea about electing presidents.Troy Young's People vs Algorithms newsletterBrian Morrissey's The Rebooting newsletterAlex Schleifer's Universal EntitiesFollow Alex, Brian and Troy on TwitterSkip to topic:00:00 Spicy Takes00:54 AI Hallucinations: The Human Aspect01:49 The Future of AI and Media02:44 Debate: Is the Web Dead?04:45 The Role of Media Brands in the AI Era12:17 Advertising and AI: A New Economy14:29 The Impact of AI on Content Discovery20:30 Legal and Ethical Considerations22:57 The Future of Media and AI Integration27:46 Union Pressures and Performance Reviews30:02 The Future of Media and Open Web34:46 Buzzfeed and Media Outsiders41:26 The Role of AI in Leadership44:46 Good Product49:29 Final Thoughts and Closing Remarks

Welcome back to Higher  Density Living. In this episode, Alexander and Jason discuss the essence of meditation. Rudolf Steiner is well known as a proponent of the 'Anthropos'—the wisdom of the human being. Steiner's philosophy seeks to merge the spiritual understanding of humanity with cosmic laws, positioning humans as central to the cosmos's purpose. This perspective challenges modern materialistic and environmental narratives that view human existence as a problem to be managed rather than an integral part of the cosmic order.   In this regard we are rejoined by special guest, Dr. Eric Cunningham, Ph.D., a Professor of Philosophy at Gonzaga University. His academic background includes a Master's degree in modern Japanese literature and a Ph.D. in history, both from the University of Oregon. Cunningham specializes in modern Japanese intellectual history and has research interests in Zen Buddhism, Catholicism, psychedelia, and eschatology. He is also the author of "Zen Past and Present" (2011) and is known for his work in combining traditional scholarly research with more esoteric and philosophical subjects.   Rudolf Steiner was an influential thinker whose ideas spanned a wide range of disciplines, including education, agriculture, and the arts. Born in 1861 in what is now Croatia and later moving to Austria, Steiner initially made his mark as a literary scholar and philosopher, particularly noted for his work on Goethe's scientific writings. However, he is most famously known for developing the spiritual movement known as Anthroposophy, in his book How to Know Higher Worlds: A Modern Path of Initiation which he described as a form of "spiritual science." Rudolf Steiner's prolific image and his significant influence during the early 20th century form profound engagement in spiritual discourse of the human experience. Steiner's perspectives offered an alternative vision to the materialistic tendencies of his time, emphasizing spiritual science and the development of human consciousness.   His concept of Meta History encompasses a pivotal event in 79, where he posits a fundamental battle between angelic hierarchies, notably involving Lucifer and St. Michael the archangel. This event, drawn from ancient mythologies like the book of Genesis, is situated within secular history, marking the descent of fallen spirits to earth. Interestingly, this aligns with a vision Pope Leo XIII had about demons being cast down to hell during a war.   Steiner's narrative intersects with mainstream religiosity, particularly Catholicism, albeit from a mystical perspective. He contends that the unleashing of demons in 79 ushered in a uniquely strange era, symbolized by the end of the Kali Yuga, a dark age in Hindu cosmology. According to Steiner, humanity has reached its nadir and is now poised for spiritual ascent, returning to unity and evolution.   Steiner's significance lies in his presence during key historical junctures, such as industrialization and World War I, and his recognition of the transformative shift post-World War I. He perceives the 1920s as a period of profound change, diverging from the ideals of the Enlightenment and Renaissance into a darker, more twisted reality. Steiner serves as a guide for humanity towards spiritual evolution and unity.   This discussion ties into broader historical contexts, particularly World War I, which Steiner perceived not merely as a terrestrial conflict but as a reflection of cosmic battles, drawing upon the hermetic principle "as above, so below." He viewed these tumultuous times as the manifestation of spiritual warfare, with implications that stretched beyond the immediate horrors of the battlefield. Steiner suggested that the souls of the fallen soldiers participated in larger spiritual struggles, contributing to the ongoing battle between spiritual light and darkness.   Moreover, Steiner's academic background in mathematics, physics, and philosophy profoundly influenced his teachings. Educated in Vienna, his engagement with contemporary scientific theories, including relativity and emerging ideas related to quantum theory, allowed him to integrate these concepts with esoteric and spiritual insights. His dissertation on Fichte's concept of the self, completed in 1891, reflects his deep philosophical grounding, which he later expanded upon in his spiritual teachings.   Steiner's transition from a purely academic philosopher to a spiritual teacher began around 1899 when he published "The Philosophy of Freedom." This work marked a pivotal shift towards esotericism and laid the groundwork for his later Anthroposophical work, which seeks to synthesize spiritual knowledge with practical aspects of life, including education, agriculture, and medicine.   The term "festival of knowledge" which was highly influenced by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe laid the groundwork for Steiner's later academic achievements. These initial forays into literature, written before he even attained his PhD, primarily focused on Goethe's interplay with science, a theme that continued to resonate throughout his career.   The core of his scholarly work culminated in his dissertation, which later evolved into a book titled "The Philosophy of Freedom." This piece not only highlights his academic rigor but also showcases his deep dive into the realms of idealism and consciousness, themes that remain pivotal in contemporary philosophical debates. As we discussed previously, current theories of consciousness and idealism, such as those proposed by thinkers like Bernardo Kastrup and Donald Hoffman, often touch upon concepts similar to those he explored. They discuss the notion of a reality predominantly constituted by the mind, a perspective he had already articulated in the late 1800s using a different vocabulary, one that predated the advent of cybernetics.   Interestingly, his exploration wasn't confined to pure philosophy; it also embraced an emotive dimension, adding a richer, more holistic layer to his theoretical constructs. This emotional infusion was particularly evident during the period you mentioned, where his philosophical inquiries intertwined with a broader, more sentient approach to understanding human cognition and consciousness. This blend of technical philosophy and emotional insight exemplifies the depth of his "festival of knowledge," bridging the gap between rational thought and human experience.   He described as the crucifixion of Christ, which he termed the "mystery of Golgotha." He believed this event marked the turning point in cosmic history, signifying not just a theological or historical moment but a deep, transformative personal revelation. This wasn't a matter of philosophical debate for him; it was a visceral truth, deeply felt and integral to his understanding of reality. It was during this time that he synthesized a high-level logical comprehension of reality with a convicted, inner awareness of these cosmic truths. Unlike many philosophers who might purely engage in academic discourse, he integrated mystic visions and clairvoyance into his scientific and philosophical explorations.   Steiner was not originally a staunch member of the Theosophical Society; he became associated with it through his lectures to German aristocrats and wealthy patrons. His involvement seems to have been a strategic move to promote a formal integration of spirituality into modern life. However, as the society increasingly embraced Eastern philosophies under the influence of figures like Madame Blavatsky, Colonel Olcott, and Annie Besant, Steiner felt a disconnect. He believed that Western traditions were essential for Western people and advocated for a spiritual understanding that respected cultural roots rather than adopting Eastern identities. This belief, coupled with disagreements over promoting Jiddu Krishnamurti as a new messiah—a notion Steiner vehemently opposed—led to his departure from the society.   In addressing accusations of racism against Steiner, it's crucial to understand his use of the term "root race," which in his cosmology referred to stages of civilization development, such as Atlantis, rather than ethnicities. Steiner emphasized that race is a secondary characteristic and spoke of the spiritual importance of national and cultural identities in shaping individual destinies. This perspective suggests that while he recognized human diversity, he did not advocate for racial hierarchies.   Indeed, his unique approach led him to play a significant role in the Theosophical Society, becoming the general secretary of its German section in 1920. However, his strong Christian orientation and his focus on Western esoteric traditions eventually caused a rift within the society. His dedication to integrating science, spirituality, and art for the holistic development of humanity prompted him to found his own society.   By understanding the deep connections between our spiritual journey and the universe, we can foster a more holistic and sustainable approach to both personal growth and global challenges.   Discover more about Dr. Eric Cunningham ground breaking work on ancient wisdom by checking more about his latest best-selling book “The Luciferic Verses: The Daodejing and the Chinese Roots of Esoteric History ” and his  “Hallucinating the End of History: Nishida, Zen, And The Psychedelic Eschaton” available online and physical bookstores.   As always, Higher Density Living reserves no dogma because only the truth prevails in the universe. History is judged by enlightened communities, and the Higher Density Living podcast is committed to the same cause. You are the center of the universe. Thank you for joining us on this cosmic journey, and we look forward to sharing more fascinating topics with you in the future. Stay tuned for more episodes where we delve into the profound principles that shape our existence. Remember to like, share, and subscribe for more mind-expanding content!

Today's episode is full of love. Meagan's doula partner, Christin Carlson, joins as co-host today to hear their client, Janelle, share her beautiful VBAC story.Janelle's first baby was determined to stay frank breech even after two ECV attempts. Her water broke on its own before her scheduled date. In prep for her surgery, Janelle unexpectedly experienced vaginal cleansing. Though the surgery went well, it was not the introduction to motherhood Janelle was hoping for. She was also hit hard with postpartum depression. Janelle shares how she found The VBAC Link and became obsessed with all things VBAC prep. Surrounded by the most loving and empowering team, they helped her stay steady when labor was most intense. Even though it was harder than she imagined it would be, Janelle was able to dig deep and achieve the unmedicated VBAC she desired. Vaginal Cleansing ArticlePostpartum Depression ArticleHow to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for ParentsFull Transcript under Episode Details 02:40 Janelle's PPD experience07:25 Janelle's stories12:06 Arriving at the hospital14:05 Janelle's C-section17:00 VBAC preparation19:24 Appendicitis and second pregnancy24:22 Going into labor27:35 Laboring at the hospital30:30 Transition34:21 Achieving her VBAC38:47 The power of a supportive partner43:53 What is vaginal cleansing?50:26 Symptoms of postpartum depressionMeagan: Hello, everybody. You guys, today I have a very special episode to my heart because this is one of our own doula clients here in Utah and another even more special thing is that this is my partner, Kristen who ended up attending her birth, is co-hosting. Hello, Christin and Janelle. Janelle: Hello. Christin: Hi. Meagan: How are you guys today? Janelle: So good, so good. Meagan: Before we started recording, we started talking about time and how fast things are going. You guys, I mean I think you probably know if you are pregnant or have a newborn in your arms how fast time goes, but really, holy cow. We were with Janelle, we just talked about, 8 months ago from the time we are recording which is wild to think about. Janelle: So weird. So weird. It's crazy. Christin: It seems like it was a couple of weeks ago. Janelle: Yeah, it's not fair. Meagan: I know. How have things been? How have you been going with postpartum?Janelle: Things have been really good and I think that's one of the things that pushed me to want a VBAC so badly is I was hoping for a better postpartum experience. I had pretty severe postpartum depression with my first baby and I felt like having the VBAC would be some sort of heavenly gateway into not having postpartum depression. In the beginning, that was true, but I ended up still having some of it. Things are good now, though. Meagan: Good. I actually love that you touched on that because I think that sometimes especially after a traumatic Cesarean or a traumatic experience that did lead to postpartum depression or anxiety or anything like that, that can be a big motivator for a different experience. I love that you talked about, “Well, it was a better experience, but I still had this a little bit. I've had to work through that.” I'm glad that you're good now, but even sometimes when we have a different experience, we have similar things. So it's important to recognize that. I love that you just pointed that out. Janelle: Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Meagan: Before we get going into the episode, do you have any tips on tackling that the second time around too? How were your feelings about things when you were starting to feel it and see it creep in? 02:40 Janelle's PPD experienceJanelle: Well, with both experiences, it did creep in just like you said, but with my daughter, it felt really dark really fast. She was my first baby and then with my first son, the VBAC, it was kind of a little bit sneaky. I guess just having someone on your support team. For me, it was my husband and I just said, “Look, if you see any of these signs, please say something to me.” It wasn't like we had a code word or anything. He was just really open in his dialogue with me and said, “Hey, I think something is up with you. You are not your normal self.” As soon as he said that, I was like, “Yeah. You're right.” It was really hard to admit because you want to be this strong mom and you want to be there for everyone and be everything that everyone need, but sometimes that's just not how life works. It's literally a chemical imbalance in your body and in your brain. It has nothing to do with your circumstances. Just having someone on your team and on your side to say, “Hey, I love you. Let's get help,” was absolutely integral to helping me get on the other side. Christin: I think it may have helped because you had been through it before so you were aware of the warning signs. That's something I think that we don't realize because I struggled with postpartum depression too but it didn't happen until my third baby so I didn't have any inclination that that was even something that I was going to deal with. I think it's important. We do all of this work to prepare for our VBACs and to prepare for the arrival of a new baby, but sometimes I don't think we educate ourselves on what those warning signs of postpartum depression are because they can be very sneaky. It's not always deep, dark thoughts. Sometimes it's postpartum rage or postpartum anxiety where just you are either extremely emotional or extremely angry all of the time. To have your husband looking out for you or someone on your support team who is keeping an eye out for those things and noticing a shift in the way that you're behaving, I think, is super important. I think that's great that you guys have had this conversation ahead of time. Meagan: Yeah, and we will talk a little bit more about some of those signs and symptoms. Like Christin was saying about how they can differ between rage, anxiety, depression, and the baby blues a little bit more at the end for sure because yeah, I think Christin just nailed it. We focus so heavily, and I think even more sometimes– I don't want to say this as a fact, but sometimes I feel like more as a VBAC mom, we are so hyper-focused on the end result of a vaginal birth that sometimes I feel like we do forget a lot. That's like everybody. I think they are so focused on getting baby here, but VBAC sometimes has to fight harder, search harder, read more, and emotionally work through things a little bit more so yeah, we can forget. Then that creeps in or like Janelle said, it was like boom and darkness came over. We want to know how to handle that so we will talk a little bit more about that in the end. 07:25 Janelle's storiesMeagan: Okay, you guys. I wasn't there, but in our practice, we have something that is like a live timeline that we have so whoever is at the birth can take notes of the timeline and we like to share that with our parents. We were all just sitting there watching it, checking in, and I just remember feeling this utter excitement inside of me for them as I was looking at the notes and following along with Christin's updates. I'm excited to now be here with you both and hear it in a different way. I'm going to turn the time over to you. Janelle: Yes. I'm so excited. I was actually telling Meagan before we started that I was actually fangirling out. I don't know exactly how I got started listening to The VBAC Link, but after I had my daughter, somehow I got onto it and I binged so hard on this podcast. It's just really surreal to be recording with you. So thank you for allowing me to be here. Christin: You've come full circle. Meagan: Full circle. Janelle: I have. Meagan: I love that that happens with The VBAC Link. I love that it's so often that it's like, “I listened every day. You were in my ear and now here I am being in someone else's ear. Janelle: Yeah, yep. So just to all the mamas out there who are preparing, you've got this. You can do this. With all VBACs, of course, there is a Cesarean that starts the story, right? We tried to get pregnant with my daughter for 14 months. We finally got pregnant and the pregnancy was super easy. I was going for a HypnoBirth unmedicated birth. I didn't have a doula. I didn't really have– I don't know. You just don't know what you don't know and as a first-time mom, you think you know, but you don't. You just don't. Meagan: Or we have apps that tell us so we really think we know because the app said so. Janelle: Yes, but then you just don't know until you're in it. I gained 60ish pounds which was a lot, but I never had hypertension or a lot of issues with that. I never ended up with gestational diabetes which I was really grateful for and worried about, but in hindsight, it really wouldn't have been a big deal. At my 36-week appointment, we found out my daughter was breech. Homegirl was freaking stuck. Let me just tell you, she has been stubborn ever since. We tried everything. We decided to do an ECV. We did it at 37 weeks and we just did that. I think a low dose of Fentanyl was the only medication. I was just trying to use my Hypnobirthing to breathe through it. The doctors told me that I was doing really well, but she was just stuck, and that one failed. We tried going to the chiropractor. We tried Spinning Babies. We tried basically everything that I could think of. We did not do acupuncture. That's the only thing that we didn't do and I never hired a doula. I could have done those things, but I didn't. We tried a second ECV at my 38-week appointment. We did that one with a spinal block in the OR because they were like, “Well, sometimes on the second attempt, it can throw you into labor.” So I was like, Okay, well if that happens and we have any problems, they can just do a Cesarean right there. She was very, very stuck in my pelvis and the maternal-fetal medicine doctor actually tried to push her up vaginally and that was unsuccessful and very uncomfortable. Even though I was numb, it was still like, This is weird. I don't know. I don't like this. She just was stuck. She was frank breech, so I was like, Okay. We're just going to go through with the Cesarean. I had 2 more weeks so two days later, I went out to dinner with a friend and then that night when I was sleeping, I got up to pee like you do a million times when you're pregnant at the end and some water was leaking out as I was walking back from the bathroom and I was like, What the crap? I just peed. How is this happening?My water had broken and there was meconium. I knew that it was going to be a little bit of an issue with meconium just because my doctor told me something like they were just worried about meconium with a breech baby. I don't know. I don't know if that's true or evidence-based or not. 12:06 Arriving at the hospitalJanelle: We drove to the hospital and we got there at 5:00. They had to do a COVID test and they cleaned me out. I don't know if you've ever heard of that. Meagan: Like rectally? Janelle: No, like vaginally. They took some sort of– Meagan: They cleaned you out vaginally?Janelle: Yeah, I don't know if it was because of the meconium, but they took some iodine-something and it felt like a membrane sweep. I never have had one of those, but if I could imagine what that was like, that's what it felt like. Meagan: Christin, have you ever seen that? Christin: It's funny that you say that because I had never seen it before until Janelle told me that she had it and I was like, That just sounds so odd, but I actually just saw it at a birth the other day. Meagan: What is it for? I actually don't know what this is. Christin: I had never seen it previously and I thought it was just an anomaly with your birth, Janelle, but I saw it the other day again. Janelle: Do they have a name for it? Meagan: I'm Googling it right now. Christin: They didn't name it. They just used iodine swabs and just cleaned her out. Janelle: Was that also for meconium? Christin: Yeah. Janelle: Okay, interesting. Christin: Now that I think back on it, there was mec but I don't think we knew there was mec until baby was born so I don't know. Janelle: Oh, interesting. Okay. So yeah, that was the most unpleasant experience ever on top of mid-contraction, I was having the COVID swab up my nose so that was really great because this was early 2021. So yeah. Anyway, we waited for the ORand the nurse came in. I asked her, “Can you check me? I know I'm going back there for surgery, but I'm just curious. I'm having contractions. Can you just see if I'm dilating?” She's like, “Yeah, you're at a 4.” So I was like, "Oh, that's kind of nice. My body's actually doing the work here.” I was really excited about that. 14:05 Janelle's C-sectionJanelle: Jumping to the surgery, I was so terrified. I don't know what it was. You're just going through so many emotions. You have to put so much trust in the nurses and the doctors and the anesthesiologists. You have to put so much trust that these people paid attention in med school that they know what they are doing, that they care about you, they care about your baby, and chances are they totally do and they did pay attention and they got good grades, but I just felt nervous as a first-time mom. They jostled me around and the anesthesiologist was really nice and he was just talking to me and telling me everything that was happening. When she was born, I knew it because I felt them yank her out. They had a clear drape, but I couldn't see over it so I was really sad that I couldn't see her. Because of the meconium, they had to take her and they cleaned her up and stuff. I was 16 minutes or something before I got to see her. In hindsight, it's not that long, but it felt like forever. Then I got to see her sweet little face and oh gosh, it was just the most precious thing ever. My husband snuck a video of it. You're not supposed to in the OR, but he snuck a video of it and it's such a treasure for me to look back at the moment that I got to meet her because I didn't get to be the first one to hold her. Yeah. Christin: I love that he did that though so you have the record of that memory. Janelle: Yeah. I never even asked him to. He just knew that I would want that. He's the best. One thing I didn't know about postpartum regardless of if you have a C-section or a vaginal birth, your nurses will push on your abdomen and it hurts like a mother trucker. Let me just tell you. Meagan: Crede-ing. Janelle: It's what? Meagan: It's called Crede-ing. They Crede and they are checking where the uterus is, if it's clamping down, and making sure it's not getting boggy and filling up. Janelle: Yep, and if you're bleeding too much or not enough. It sucked. Then I had really bad postpartum depression. This one was not sneaky. This one was almost immediately. I felt like I bonded really well with my daughter, but there was just some darkness that was in my heart and I couldn't figure out what it was. It took a while. I was actually maybe 6 or 8 weeks at my postpartum appointment and my doctor did the screening. She's like, “Yeah, your score was really not good. Let's get you some medication.” I was like, “Okay.” I was very reluctant, but I saw almost an immediate difference. I had it for a while, but it did help. 17:00 VBAC preparationJanelle: Anyway, so that was my daughter's birth and ever since then, like I said, I was obsessed with The VBAC Link. I knew right away that I wanted a vaginal birth. Actually, come to think of it, right before we went back to surgery, I was talking to the doctors and I was like, “I really want to have another baby after this. Is there any way you guys could make sure that my scar looks really good and I could have more babies vaginally? That's really important to me.” They were like, “Yeah. We will make sure you are taken care of.” I was very grateful for that. What I wanted out of this birth, I don't know if what I told Christin is still what I have on my birth plan that I wrote down, but what I really wanted was a healthy mom, a healthy mindset, and a healthy baby obviously. Those are the minimum, right? Then I wanted baby out of my vagina. I wanted skin-to-skin. I wanted to be the first one to hold baby and I wanted to be fully present and fully included in all of the decisions. I don't know if it was just, yeah. I don't know exactly why that was so important to me at the moment, but it just felt like I didn't want any of this robbed from me. I didn't want any of the experience to be done to me. Do you know what I'm saying? I wanted as few interventions as possible. Those were what I really wanted out of this birth. Is that what you have, Christin?Christin: Yeah, pretty darn close to that. I also have skin-to-skin was super important. Janelle: Yes. Christin: And I think it's worth noting that you wanted to catch and deliver your own baby. You said I wanted to be the first one to hold her– sorry, hold the baby boy– but you also told me that was super important to you. You actually wanted to deliver your child. Janelle: Yes, okay. With my son, my daughter was maybe 20 months old. It was the Sunday before Thanksgiving and I felt some pain in my side. We had been trying for 6 months and something was just wrong. I didn't have a big appetite and it was Thanksgiving dinner at my mom's house and I just didn't feel good. Something intuitively was just wrong and I knew it. My husband was like, “Well, why don't you just try taking an antacid?” I was like, “No. I know something is wrong.” 19:24 Appendicitis and second pregnancyJanelle: We went to the ER and I had appendicitis and I was pregnant. So that was really fun to find out all at the same time. Because I was 3 weeks, 4 days pregnant, I had not even missed my period. I hadn't taken a test, they said that nothing in the surgery would change because baby was still so small. I was like, Okay. Well, that's good. I was really nervous for the surgery and that there were going to be complications afterward, but everything was fine. As soon as I started to heal from surgery, I got so nauseous. I was so sick the whole pregnancy until maybe 25 weeks. That's when it finally started to wean off. Like I said, I lived in VBAC mode. I binged the podcast on the daily. I went on walks. I would listen to it while I was cleaning, driving, naptime, all of the things. I also was very into the Evidence-Based Birth Podcast because I was very curious about water birth and home birth and all of the statistics. My husband actually pulled me aside while I was in crazy VBAC mode as we call it. He was like, “Janelle, I'm just worried if you end up having a C-section, where are you going to be at mentally? Are you going to be okay with this if that ends up being your path?” I was like, “You know what? I really do need to prepare for that too,” because things really can go in any direction with birth. As soon as he said that to me and I started to prepare that way, I just became like, Okay. Whatever happens happens. This is okay. I did have the same VBAC-crazed mindset but I was also okay with things happening. I don't know if that makes sense. Meagan: Yeah, it totally makes sense. I think a lot of the time as we are preparing for that, it is important to note that things can go and still prepare for the other but prepare, prepare, prepare, and then do all of those things while you are preparing so if it doesn't happen, then you don't have to look back and be like, But what if this and what if that? Then you are confident in the way you prepared, but then you know, Well, it could go this way. It's not what I'm going to plan for, but it could go that way and I'm going to be more content because I'm doing everything within my control. Janelle: Yes. At 20 weeks, my insurance changed and I had to find a new provider. That was a whirlwind. I actually found my midwife through The VBAC Link list of providers. Her name is Kira Waters and she is the best. I love her so much. The first thing that I said to her when I interviewed her was, “How do you feel about VBACs?” She said, “I love VBACs!” I was like, “Oh my gosh, okay. Say no more.” Yeah, after we met Kira, then we were on the search for a doula. I came across you guys. I met with Christin and the stars were just aligning like, this is going to work out. This is going to be perfect. I don't know how to explain it. It wasn't like an instant connection, but it was this deep trust that I instantly had in her if that makes sense. Meagan: Mhmm, yeah. Janelle: It was almost like I'd known her for a long time, but not like a high-school friend. She's my long-lost aunt, I guess. She's full of wisdom. Christin: I'll take it. Meagan: Well, and there is something about a doula. Don't you think? Fun fact, Christin and I actually had the same doula, but there was something about our doula– her name is Robin. She is amazing. I didn't even know her that well. I mean, I knew her through the birth community and stuff but I didn't know every detail about her, but there was this weird sense of confidence where I was like, It's going to be fine. Then her partner, Angie, was also somebody who I was like, I know she has to be in my corner. I just knew that those two people had to be on my team and yeah. It wasn't like I instantly knew them and felt the connection of being childbirth friends, but I was so deeply connected right away and still am to this day to them. Janelle: Mhmm, yep. It's interesting. I'm kind of a private person and I didn't want my mother-in-law or my mom in the birth room, but as soon as I met Christin, I'm like, “Yep. Come to the birth.”24:22 Going into laborJanelle: Let's see, I think it was my 34th or 36th appointment and I met with the OB because if you are with the midwife, they want you to meet with the OB. He did the VBAC calculator. I think it said 47%. It was 47 or 50% chance. It was a pretty moderate chance of success. He was really nice, but I just was like, Eh, I don't really want him to deliver my baby. Let's see. I had gained a similar amount of weight, but again, no hypertension. Everything was pretty much the same to this point other than baby was head down at this time. I was 37 weeks and I went out to dinner with a friend. Fun fact, it was the same restaurant and the same order. That night, I went into labor. Christin: You're onto something. Janelle: It was Zupas. Meagan: I was going to say, what was it? Zupas? Janelle: It was Zupas. Christin: Now we have to get your order too. Meagan: What was your order? Janelle: I want to say it was the pulled pork sandwich. Maybe one of the soups, like the cheesy soup, the Wisconsin…Meagan: The Wisconsin Cauliflower? Janelle: That one, and then the pulled pork sandwich. That's what I ordered both times. So if you want to go into labor…I don't know if that's even tried and true, but it was so interesting. Christin: I'm pretty sure it's not evidence-based. Janelle: No, but for me. Christin: For you it is. Meagan: You've got some good stats. Janelle: Yeah. So I went into labor that night and my husband, I didn't say this before but when I went into labor with my daughter he was like, “No!” because it was so early and he's a gamer so he was up that night playing games on the computer and he was just really tired. The same reaction was had from him this time too. He was like, “No!” Christin: It was early in the morning. Janelle: He was like, “Dang it!” I wanted to labor at home as long as I could so let's see. I think we texted you pretty close to that time. Was it at 4:00 or 5:00? Christin: I got a text at 3:06 AM that you thought your water broke. Janelle: Yeah. So I labored at home in the tub for a while. My husband made me the best peanut butter and jelly sandwich that I ever had in my entire life. I ate a peach. I just hung out in the tub. When I would listen to the podcast before bed, I would listen in the tub and hang out and relax. It was a safe space for me that I was very used to. I hung out there for a long time. It really wasn't that long, but when you're in labor, it feels like a long time. I had my mom come over so she was with our daughter. Once my contractions were 4-5 minutes apart, we were like, Okay. Our hospital is 30-45 minutes away. We should probably head in just to be safe. 27:35 Laboring at the hospitalJanelle: I got admitted around 6:00. Is that what you have, Christin? Christin: Yeah. It was around 6:00, a little bit before 6:00. Janelle: I agreed to be checked at that time. I didn't want a lot of checks because I didn't want to introduce bacteria by having my water being broken, but I was curious about where I was at. They said I was at a 4. I told the nurse beforehand, I was like, “I don't want to know,” but she let it slip. She was like, “Oh, you didn't want to know, huh?” I was like, “No, but that's okay.” Meagan: Isn't that where you were with the first one?Janelle: Yeah, kinda. I was like, Okay, well at least I got this far before. She said I was 50% effaced and -2 station. At this point, my husband and I were kind of clueless because we only had one meeting with Christin. We hadn't gone over counterpressures. We hadn't gone over how he was going to be actively supporting me in birth so we were just like, Okay, now what?Christin: I think we had your second prenatal scheduled for the day after you went into labor. Your baby just decided to beat us to the punch. Janelle: He was so excited. He just wanted to be a part of it. We were really clueless and I started feeling the contractions really intensely. I was not as prepared as I thought I was for contractions. I was second-guessing all of my life decisions because I again even wanted to be unmedicated. I even signed a consent form for the epidural at this point. I was like, Okay, just call it. I'm done.Christin: Christin joined us I think an hour after I got there around 7:00. The second that she stepped in the room, the energy just shifted. I don't know how to explain it. She just brought so much excitement like, I've got this. I got you. It's all right. It's going to be okay.I know she wasn't intending to be my savior, but she kind of was in that moment for energy's sake. I don't think I could have done it if she hadn't walked in with the confidence and the joy that she had, just the excitement for birth, the passion to be there, and it just made such a huge difference in our experience and I just love you so much, Christin. Thank you. Christin: You're going to make me cry. Meagan: She's all emotional. Janelle: We're all just crying here. It's fine. Christin: It's really the best job in the world. It's the best job. Janelle: It's really a sacred space. Like I said, I didn't have my mom or my mother-in-law there. I just wanted it to be very intimate and Christin was so good at honoring how intimate it was. 30:30 TransitionJanelle: Let's see. Let me jump back to the story. Around 10:00, I got a new nurse. This nurse was awesome. Her name was Alisha and she was at St. Mark's. If you ever get Alisha at St. Mark's, she is a godsend. She was great. There were multiple times where Christin, Alisha, my midwife Kira, and my husband were all taking turns doing counterpressures on me. They all synced up and were so harmonious. Okay, so at 10:00, I was still 4 centimeters, 100% effaced. I labored in the tub at this point for a while. It really wasn't that long, but in the moment, it felt like a long time. I loved and hated the tub because I didn't have anything to brace myself on. Michael, my husband, couldn't give me any counterpressure in the tub, but the relief afterward in the water was so amazing. I really loved that and then Christin was like, “I'm going to leave you two alone and have a little moment.” I think you had even brought these little tea light, like the electric tea lights. You had set those up in the bathroom and the lights were dimmed. It was such a special, sacred moment with Michael and I. He just was like, “I really get why you hired her. I love her. She is amazing.” I was like, “Yep. This is why.” He was like, “Yeah, we don't ever want to do birth without her.' Christin: Have more babies. I'll be there. Janelle: Yes. Undecided. But we do, absolutely. Christin: Fair enough. Fair enough. Janelle: That was at 10:00. I was at a 4. Then I got in the bath. At 11:15, I was out of the bath by then. I had a cervical check and I was at a 7. I jumped a lot in that time. I was doing a lot of work. I was 100% effaced and I was at 0 station. I was moving all over in positions. We did the throne position. There was one where I was on hands and knees on the birthbed, but I didn't have the birth ball. At 11:40ish, I was feeling really pushy and I got so emotional. Christin will remember this. I sobbed. It was ugly crying for a good half hour. This is now what we know is transition, but it was rough. I was having Charlie horses and oh, it was just rough. I just was crying a lot. I don't know exactly what was happening, but I just was preparing, I guess, and releasing emotion for the baby to come out. Around 12:30, I was pushing here and there, and around 12:45ish, I started really pushing. Again, at this point, I was in the lithotomy position which is sitting upright how you picture in movies and stuff how people have babies. I was screaming this baby out. I was the loudest person on that floor of the hospital for sure. Meagan: I think there's something to it. I think sometimes roaring your baby out is what people need. Christin: Absolutely. Janelle: I was absolutely a screamer. Christin: It's funny because I don't remember you being loud. Janelle: Oh my gosh, really? Christin: Yeah, I don't remember it. Janelle: Oh, praise be. That's great because I remember at one point– Christin: There's a good chance you weren't as loud as you thought you were. That happens a lot of the time. You think you are very loud and you probably aren't. But I mean, there's nothing wrong with that. A lot of women roar their babies out and it's very powerful and very primal and natural to do so. Janelle: Mhmm, yeah. 34:21 Achieving her VBACJanelle: I remember at one point, there was a nurse that came in. I could tell she was one of the baby nurses because she had the baby cart and stuff. I was in mid-push and I remember saying, “Get the f- out!” I'm pretty sure that everyone in the room thought I was talking about the baby, but I was talking about the nurse. I was like, “Get out!” Meagan: Like, “I don't want you here.” Janelle: I was like, “I don't want anyone in here seeing this. It's ugly.” Meagan: Oh my gosh, that's funny. Janelle: Anyway, so I finally pushed the baby out at 1:30 so I was pushing for an hour. The moment that I got to push him out, I was very emotional and my midwife handed him to me and helped me finish. She delivered the first part of him and I had a little bit of a cervical lip so she was like, “You've got to really push him out,” or maybe it was the shoulder. Was it the shoulder that was stuck? I feel like I'm butchering this last part right now. Christin: No, you didn't have an official shoulder dystocia. He just needed a little extra strength to get the rest of his body out. Janelle: Okay, yeah. That's where we were at. She was like, “You really need to push here.” I just remember like you said, roaring him out. She helped me pull him to my chest and having that warm, gooey, slimy baby was just everything that I could have hoped for. I would not change that for the world. That oxytocin hit that you get from smelling that baby that comes out of you is just unreal. I was so happy that I got to be the first one to hold him and see him. I just am really, really grateful that I had the support that I did because I don't feel like I could have done it without my husband, without Kira our midwife, without that nurse Alisha. Okay, like I said, I am butchering this best part because I forgot to say so many things that I wrote down. Okay, let me back up a little bit. So right around the time that I was crowning, I just felt like my skin was crawling and oxygen was not enough for me. I couldn't get comfortable. I couldn't get on top of my breathing. I was asking for an epidural. I had already signed the consent form, but my nurse Alisha was like, “Oh, the anesthesiologist is busy and by the time he comes, it's going to be too late so sorry.” Sneaky little nurse because she knew what I wanted. I actually asked for a local anesthetic. I was asking for lidocaine or something. I was like, “What do you use to stitch people up? Use that on me because I am struggling here.” My contractions were, Kira told me they were three little ones and then one really, really big one then I would have a 5-minute break. That's how my contractions were up until the end. Like I said, I couldn't get on top of my breath. I remember looking at Christin and my husband. I just couldn't figure it out. There was this moment inside of me that even though I had them there, I had to dig so deep in my own body and in my own soul. I even said a prayer to God and I was like, I have got to have some help here. I cannot push this baby out alone. Can you please send some angels or something to be with me because I can't do it?I got a little bit of a longer break in between contractions and I finally had Christin and Michael help me to get on top of my breathing and that's when I was able to push the baby out. Meagan: It's crazy how breath really is so impactful but then we are always told to hold it, so you've got to find the breath and find the strength and regrasp. Sometimes, that means taking a step back and rebreathing and finding that regrounding. Christin: Yeah. Janelle: It's so hard in the moment. Like I said, you think you know but you don't know until you're there. 38:47 The power of a supportive partnerJanelle: But I do have to say that the second I pulled him out and he was warm and gooey and on my chest, they were trying to arouse him a little bit because he was a little bit slower to take his first couple of breaths, I was just screaming, “I did it! I did it! I did it!” a million times. My husband just said, “I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of you.” I actually wanted to say what he told his family. He said, “Today I saw what Janelle was made of and she freaking did it. I'm so proud of her.” The way that he said that about me unprovoked was really sweet. Yeah. So there it is. There's my story. It's choppy. Meagan: No, listen. I love that. I love that. And would you have anything to add, Christin, to that?Christin: I would just say that Janelle went into this whole thing very prepared. She had educated herself and she was very prepared for whatever came at her. She did her work ahead of time. She found a fantastic provider and she knew what she was doing. She knew everything that she needed to know about a VBAC, but at the same time, she was very welcoming to let birth just unfold how it was going to unfold. There was a time. We talked about this a little bit earlier. You got to the hospital. You had been laboring really well at home and contractions had been coming very quickly. You were progressing really well and then you got to the hospital and everything just stopped. That's completely normal. We see that happen all the time in birth where just that chance in scenery and the commotion tends to slow things down a little bit, but that didn't get to you. You just needed to get back into your groove. You got settled back into the hospital and you and Michael had some time together. I don't think we should ever discount those special moments that you have with just your husband. When I step out to give you time in the bathroom, that's not me necessarily trying to take a break myself, it's to give you guys time to help that oxytocin get flowing, to get labor progressing again, and to protect that intimate space. You guys were a phenomenal team. It was incredible to watch the two of you together. Michael was so incredibly supportive. That moment where he leaned down and just said to you, “I'm so proud of you, Janelle,” it was so touching just to watch his love and his pride for you. It was incredible. Janelle: He really is the best. I'm so emotional just thinking about him because I just love him. Obviously, none of my family would be possible without him, but I couldn't do mom life without him and I couldn't do the birth without him. He really was everything. So get yourself somebody who loves you and who loves the ugly parts of you too. Christin: You know, I say this too. I don't think– I mean, moms obviously are going through so much during labor, but I don't think dads are ever given as much credit as they deserve because they are watching someone they love go through the hardest thing they've ever done. While there are things to help mitigate some of that, there is nothing they can do to fix it or take it away and it is emotionally taxing on them. Meagan: I agree. I was just about to say the same thing. As mothers, thinking about your child doing one of the hardest things in their entire life and how they feel. Now, you are not his child, but you are someone he loves probably more than anyone on this earth, and especially at that time, he was feeling those things too and he watched you. He watched you prepare and he even was questioning, “I see how much you want this. How will this affect you if it doesn't go this way?” He was literally taking into consideration that far before the birth even happened thinking about you that deeply. It just is amazing. I think that's one of my personal favorite things about being a doula. Of course, seeing babies being born is just incredible. It's absolutely incredible, but seeing what Christin just described, these two people who love each other more than anything that just brought this human into this life, and seeing them bond and grow and take pride in on another during the support of their baby is just really one of the coolest parts about being a doula. Janelle: When my kids are a little bit older, I think that's what I want to do, but we'll see. Meagan: Yes. Listen, I think that's how a lot of us start. We get inspired by our own births then we find the time in our life when the journey feels right and we take off. I encourage you to. I encourage you to become a doula. Yeah, it's such an amazing journey. 43:53 What is vaginal cleansing?Meagan: I definitely want to touch on the postpartum stuff that we wanted to talk about, but I also found a little article thing on the vaginal cleansing. I just wanted to share. Janelle: Oh, okay. Meagan: It's actually from cochrane.org. This was published in April 2020 4 years ago. We'll make sure to have the link here in the show notes, but I was just curious more about what it was and in one of the articles, it said “vaginal toileting”. I'm like, What? That's weird.Janelle: Odd. Meagan: Yes, toileting is a really strange vocabulary, but maybe in my head, I'm thinking that maybe they are getting rid of– I'm not going there. It's called vaginal cleansing with antiseptic solution before Cesarean delivery to reduce infections after surgery. Janelle: Oh. Meagan: Kind of interesting. I'm not going to go through the whole thing because I really want to get to postpartum, but it says, “What evidence did we find? We searched for new evidence in July of 2019 and in this update, we have included 21 randomized controlled studies involving a total of 7,038 women” –which to men kind of sounds small– “undergoing a Cesarean section.” It goes down and it says, “Cleansing the vagina with antiseptic solution immediately before a Cesarean delivery probably reduces the incidence of post-Cesarean infection of the uterus. 20 trials of 6,918 women showed moderate-certainty evidence” –so they are moderately confident– “that the reduction was seen for both iodine-based solution and chlorhexidine-based solutions.” It says, “The risk of postoperative fever and post-operative wound infection was probably reduced by vaginal cleansing both moderately again.” It goes on even more talking about wound complications and infection of the uterus may be lower in women receiving pre-operative vaginal cleansing with solution. So that is interesting because one of the things for me and maybe I'm wrong, but I was under the impression that meconium was sterile. It's poop, but the reason why they get so worried in the lungs is because it's really thick and tarry poop. If you think about our lungs and tarry poop, right? That's what my understanding was. It was more of that versus it was toxic to them but maybe I don't know. Maybe I need to research my meconium evidence. Do you know, Christin?Christin: I don't. Does that study say that they do it specifically related to meconium or just in prep for a C-section? Meagan: Just in prep for the C-section. When you guys were talking about the relation to meconium, it just made me think because I thought that meconium was okay. It doesn't really talk about it here at all. It did say that they did not observe any difference between groups of women with ruptured membranes and women with in-tact membranes which to me says– because in-tact membranes mean no meconium, right? Janelle: Right, no. Meagan: Yeah. They wouldn't know or it wouldn't be present, so it's interesting. It's interesting. Janelle: Yeah, interesting. Christin: It must have just been a coincidence with your C-section and meconium being present. Like I said, the one that I just saw– it might have been a week ago. Meagan: It ended in a Cesarean? Christin: Yeah, it was for a C-section, but I don't think they knew that meconium was present at the time that they did the cleansing or the vaginal toileting I guess that we are calling it. Janelle: Vaginal toileting. That sounds so gross. Meagan: Vaginal toileting, I know. This article says vaginal cleansing specifically, but yeah. Janelle: I prefer that. Meagan: There was another article that talked about the effects of vaginal douching and another article that talked about the effects of vaginal toileting before a Cesarean. Janelle: I'm not a fan regardless. Meagan: Yeah. It's so interesting. I honestly have never seen that. I mean, it was 4 years ago so maybe some places are catching up. I mean, I don't know. Anyway, moderate. It may. It may not. It's not complete. But anyway, there was that. I just had to throw that in because that was a big question. Janelle: Yes and touching on that, I think maybe it's okay to decline that and I would have declined that had I known that was what was going to happen to me because it very much happened to me.Christin: Yeah. Absolutely. Meagan: Yeah and it wasn't discussed. You still didn't even know the reason right now. You were still processing. Those are the types of things that as those things are happening, you can stop and say, “Hey, whoa. What is the evidence on this?” You can ask about that. Or, “Hey, can you tell me the pros and cons here because I don't know if I want this?” Then again, it's ultimately up to you to choose if you want that. Now, if you're not expecting a Cesarean and all of a sudden they are doing this, that might be a red flag to start asking questions because they may be mentally on the other side of the wall preparing you for a Cesarean that you are not aware of. Christin: Yeah, I think this is a good example of just in general how much they don't let you know how much is actually voluntary. A lot of times, the way they phrase things is, “Okay, I'm doing this to prepare for this or I'm going to do this” without letting you know, “Hey, if you don't want this, we don't have to do this.” Janelle: Right. Christin: So I think that happens with a lot of things, especially as a first-time mom, you don't know. You don't know what is– Janelle: Protocol. Christin: What you have to consent to and what is protocol and even if it is protocol, you can still decline it. You don't know a lot of that stuff. Meagan: Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so we'll be quick and we'll include this link in there. 50:26 Symptoms of postpartum depressionMeagan: This is from the Mayo Clinic. It talks about the different symptoms of postpartum depression. We talk about baby blues. I'm just going to talk about this really fast. I encourage everyone to go click on it. But baby blues symptoms may include things like mood swings, anxiety, sadness, irritability, feeling overwhelmed, reduced concentration, appetite problems, and even crying. No, postpartum depression symptoms they have listed as depressed mood or severe mood swings, crying too much, difficulty bonding with your baby, withdrawing from family and friends, overall tiredness, hopelessness, feeling worthless, restlessness, super anxiety, and stuff like that. Postpartum psychosis, getting confused and lost. A lot of the time, people with postpartum psychosis will be mid-thought and then they just stop and they literally have no idea what's going on. They're very confused. Having obsessive thoughts about your baby. Hallucinating kind of sometimes goes into that feeling very confused. Not sleeping or having too much energy. Almost feeling like you're so exhausted but you are really, really, really high. Does that make sense on energy? Making attempts to harm yourself or your baby and then there is more. So when to see a doctor— if it goes past 2 weeks after your baby is born, you are noticing it getting worse. Your partner is noticing it getting worse. It is making it harder on you to physically take care of your baby or yourself and things like that. All good things to know and be aware of. Yes, like Janelle said, it is very hard to admit sometimes because we are in it, but get that supportive team. This is also a really great conversation to have prior to having a baby even if you have never had a baby before or never had any of these symptoms before to talk about it and create a plan for if these symptoms are coming in, what to do, what you want to do while you are in a different space. All right, I just ran really quickly through that because I know our time is up, but definitely check that out. Women of strength, know that it is okay to ask for help. It is okay. Janelle: Yes. I agree 100%. Christin: Absolutely. Meagan: Thank you guys so much for joining me today. It was such a pleasure. I loved seeing the emotion, the waterworks, the smiles, the uncontrolled laughter. It just was so much fun and I absolutely adore you both. Janelle: Aw, I love you. Thank you so much for having me. I love you, Christin. I love you, Meagan. Christin: Love you too. Meagan: Love you. Christin: Thank you so much, Megan. ClosingWould you like to be a guest on the podcast? Tell us about your experience at thevbaclink.com/share. For more information on all things VBAC including online and in-person VBAC classes, The VBAC Link blog, and Meagan's bio, head over to thevbaclink.com. Congratulations on starting your journey of learning and discovery with The VBAC Link.Our Sponsors:* Check out Dr. Mom Butt Balm: drmombuttbalm.comSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-vbac-link/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

SEASON 2 EPISODE 152: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: He lied about it. He stole the story of a young murdered Michigan woman, purposely altered it, made himself the hero, made up a story about her family, then exploited it as an excuse to turn local cops into his private paramilitary police force. He LIED about it. OR: His dementia or aphasia or insanity or whatever it is that specifically doesn't work right in his brain is so bad that he read about her in The New York Post and he could no longer tell the difference between what he had READ and what had actually happened - or both. The New York Post, Monday. Ruby Garcia had a: “smile that illuminated the room or contagious laughter.” Trump, Lying or Hallucinating, Tuesday: "she had just the most contagious laughter and when she walked into a room, she lit up that room, and I've heard that from so many people. I spoke to some of her family." The family says he did not speak to any of her family. His campaign is hiding behind a claim that it never releases the details of such conversations without permission - which is itself ANOTHER lie because it released its CLAIM that it spoke to some of her family and implied those comments came from them. There are scumbags in this world. And then there is Donald Trump. MEANWHILE "The American Conservative" piece about repealing or ignoring Presidential term limits so Trump could run again in 2028 and thereafter had an additional tendril I didn't see. Lisa Needham at Public Notice did. "The American Conservative" is part of "Project 2025" - the plan to recast the government as an anti-women, anti-minority, anti-equality body that destroys "The Deep State" and replaces it with Trump slaves personally loyal to him who would institute a DEEPER - and far more deeply INCOMPETENT - state. (21:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Charlie Kirk insults a certain category of women. The one headed by his wife. Mike Davis thinks Chuck Schumer threatened to punch Justices Kavanaugh and Gorsuch or something. And so, what? Are you telling me that from once a week now my ex-SportsCenter co-anchor Sage Steele is going to be on here? Now she has revealed her 2021 ESPN interview with President Biden was entirely scripted by ESPN management, no deviations allowed, without ever realizing that all of her SportsCenter interviews were scripted by ESPN management because she was a total idiot. B-Block (29:20) and C-Block (43:47) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: 45 years ago at this moment, a week or so after I had met Bob Iger and got his advice on how to get started in television, the letter that would change my career and my life, was somewhere, in transit, between New York City and Ithaca, New York. The story of the man who sent it, and why what he wrote mattered so much: The Lou Adler Letter.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Very informative episode today! I learned so much and hope you do too. We explore the history of human psychedelic usage, and also dive into the origin, properties, dangers, and benefits of the most popular psychedelics today: LSD, MDMA, Magic Mushrooms, DMT, and Peyote.  I loved psychedelics before this episode, and love them even more after learning what I share this week. Watch the Suck on YouTube: https://youtu.be/jxcKBIgK0ucMerch and more: www.badmagicproductions.com Timesuck Discord! https://discord.gg/tqzH89vWant to join the Cult of the Curious Private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" to locate whatever happens to be our most current page :)For all merch-related questions/problems: store@badmagicproductions.com (copy and paste)Please rate and subscribe on Apple Podcasts and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG and http://www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcastWanna become a Space Lizard? Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast.Sign up through Patreon, and for $5 a month, you get access to the entire Secret Suck catalog (295 episodes) PLUS the entire catalog of Timesuck, AD FREE. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. And you get the download link for my secret standup album, Feel the Heat.

Is it a bug or a feature? Meta's AI is hallucinating return policies now. Plus: TikTok's anti-ban campaign appears to have backfired. Why do women make up a majority of marketing roles, but a fraction of visibility in ads? And Google's change to negative country targeting.

Today we're sharing another insightful presentation from our most recent Innovative Executives League Summit, where Maya Mikhailov, Chief Executive Officer and founder of SAVVI AI, discusses machine learning as a powerful toolkit of solutions. Comparing efficiency with and without AI, she highlights how the proper tool makes the difference and cuts through assumptions. Is Chat GPT the AI tool that makes Amazon such a success? No. It is Amazon's recommendation engine built on billions of data points. Looking beyond the hype of select functionalities of machine learning, AI applications abound.In this episode, Maya introduces AI's key practical uses, as she currently views the technology: decision automation, classification and prediction, large language models, and writing documentation and code. She emphasizes how natural language makes a query more accessible than programmatic language and shares example after example of increasing efficiency. Maya's presentation sheds insight into where AI technologies are gaining traction (delinquencies) and continuing to grow in popularity (writing content). Maya dives into the importance of guardrails, building trust, and maintaining transparency when utilizing machine learning. She shares where AI is having massive success (summarizing data) and the problems that might emerge from AI reliance (“code bloat”). Maya discusses how when AI is wrong, it is still learning. Employing the right AI tool is essential for strategy and meeting goals.(1:40) – Machine learning(4:45) – Examining data without AI(5:41) – AI-executed tactics(7:16) – Generative AI(9:14) – Hallucinating (10:57) – The practical realities(12:41) – Decision automation(15:28) – Classifications(17:10) – Predictions(18:15) – Large language models(22:03) – Writing documentation and codeMaya Mikhailov is the Chief Executive Officer and founder of SAVVI AI. She co-founded GPShopper, which Synchrony acquired in 2017. At Synchrony, Maya served as SVP and General Manager of the Direct-to-Consumer group (FinTech AI). She has been a speaker at CES Money 2020 and CTIA and featured in Bloomberg, CNBC, Forbes, Business Insider, and other outlets. Maya served as an adjunct professor at New York University, lecturing on digital and mobile technology. She earned a bachelor's degree in international management at American University.If you'd like to receive new episodes as they're published, please subscribe to Innovation and the Digital Enterprise in Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. If you enjoyed this episode, please consider leaving a review in Apple Podcasts. It really helps others find the show.Podcast episode production by Dante32.

Morgan Jay joins the Brittanys as they talk about standup comedy, bedroom kinks, their worst drug trips and react to YOUR worsts from Russian prison to watching grandpa's soul enter hell. The Brittanys & Morgan make the best of the worst in Episode 8. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Stay connected and follow us: • Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thisistheworstpod/ • TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@thisistheworstpod • Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/thisistheworstpod/ What's YOUR worst? Want our BADvice? Email us at thisistheworstpod@justmediahouse.com ---------------------------------------------------------------- Powered by: Just Media House -- https://www.justmediahouse.com/ Hosted and Executive Produced by: Brittany Furlan Lee and Brittany Schmitt Studio: Kandoo Films -- https://www.kandoofilms.com/ Edited by: Shane Danahy -- https://instagram.com/shanedanahy Time Stamps: 00:00:00 - Drug Trip Stories and Boys Being Scared 00:04:20 - Infidelity in Relationships 00:08:39 - Relationships and Staying for Money 00:12:38 - The Desire for Financial Security 00:16:31 - The Freedom of Being Single 00:20:30 - Learning from Mistakes 00:24:34 - Discovering a New Kink 00:28:31 - Open Relationships and Dog Names 00:32:21 - A Horrible Edibles Experience 00:36:10 - Hearing Loss and Trippy Experiences 00:40:06 - Raw Dogging Life on the Emotions 00:44:13 - Hallucinating at a bonfire 00:48:31 - Dark Secrets of Bohemian Grove 00:52:31 - Accidental Intake of Psychoactive Mushrooms 00:56:37 - The Night of Clarity and Love for Ed Sheeran 01:00:55 - A Nightmare Drug Experience 01:04:55 - Strange Hotel Room Encounter 01:08:49 - Strange Fetishes and Allergies 01:13:01 - Dealing with an Overly Affectionate Partner 01:16:59 - Relationship Advice 01:21:08 - Grandma's Kindness Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we discuss Steven being a toxic gamer, Ryan's hallucinations, Shane's entry into the Pencil world and play a new game called What The Kids Doin'?!  Try Aura: https://aura.com/watcher for a 14-day free trial Try Miracle: https://trymiracle.com/Watcher for 40% off Use code WATCHER for 3 free towels and an extra 20% off HOSTED BY Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej & Steven Lim PRODUCER & EDITOR Matt Real EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS Steven Lim  Ryan Bergara Shane Madej Social: http://www.instagram.com/wearewatcher http://www.instagram.com/ryanbergara http://www.instagram.com/shanemadej http://www.instagram.com/stevenkwlim https://twitter.com/wearewatcher https://twitter.com/ryansbergara https://twitter.com/shanemadej https://twitter.com/stevenkwlim Business Inquiries:  hello@watcherentertainment.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With a US presidential election coming up, and with issues related to AI generated content working their way through US courts, we look at how Europe is addressing AI policy concerns.  On Today's Show:Cat Zakrzewski, Washington Post national technology policy reporter, talks about the European Union's AI Act, plus other news involving artificial intelligence.

This week on the Roach Koach Podcast it's all about ignoring your dad and doing what you want! Lorin and Matt invite on long time Roach Rider Ben Rice of the Barley & Me Podcast to discuss Apartment 26's debut album, Hallucinating. Topics this week include:-Pranks-Geezer Butler, dad-Uncanny valley album art-Ulrich Wild's resume-Dual Income No Kids-“I'm livid”-Dad jokes-Lorin is roasted by his college professor-Buying Ulrich Wild a new button-Having a WTF reaction-Commencement speeches-And Canon Talk, where Lorin, Matt, and Ben decide if Apartment26 deserve a spot in the Nu-Metal Canon. Take a listen!Rate and review Roach Koach on iTunes! We'd appreciate it! Questions about the show? Have album recommendations? Just want to say hi? We'd love to hear from you! Contact the show @RoachKoach on Twitter, Roach Koach on Facebook , Roach Koach on Instagram, or send an email to RoachKoachPodcast at Gmail. Follow the show on Youtube and TikTok! Support the show over on our Patreon. Check out Ben on Barley & Me!

Not just once or twice, but three times, he's seen the face of an old woman behind him in the mirror. Then he saw it in his bedroom. Is he just tired? Hallucinating? Or is this paranormal? If you have a real ghost story or supernatural event to report, please write into our show or call 1-855-853-4802! If you like the show, please help keep us on the air and support the show by becoming an EPP (Extra Podcast Person). We'll give you a BONUS episode every week as a "Thank You" for your support. Become an EPP here: http://www.ghostpodcast.com/?page_id=118 or at or at http://www.patreon.com/realghoststories Watch more at: http://www.realghoststoriesonline.com/ Follow Tony: Instagram: HTTP://www.instagram.com/tonybrueski TikToc: https://www.tiktok.com/@tonybrueski Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tony.brueski

What is an AI hallucination? What causes a chatbot to go off script and invent stuff? And is AI's tendency to rewrite history a bug or a feature?See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

GPT-4, TikTok's looming fate, Internet Archive vs Libraries, Olympic Esports OpenAI announces GPT-4 AI language model. Librarians should stand with the Internet Archive. Here's how to participate in Monday's oral arguments. TikTok's plan to stave off government intervention: Flood D.C. with influencers. The FBI And DOJ Are Investigating ByteDance's Use Of TikTok To Spy On Journalists. Why are the Olympic Esports Series games so strange? We asked the IOC. Meta's place in the social media landscape. The Ugly Lessons of Silicon Valley Bank's Collapse. The Over-Financialization Of Tech And The SVB Backlash. Meta layoffs: Facebook owner to cut 10,000 staff. Dark Web 'BreachForums' Operator Charged With Computer Crime. FCC orders phone companies to block scam text messages. Carrot Weather gets snarky ChatGPT update. GM wants to bring ChatGPT-like assistant to drivers. Google is working on AI for ultrasound diagnosis and cancer therapy. Host: Leo Laporte Guests: Alex Kantrowitz and Steven Levy Download or subscribe to this show at https://twit.tv/shows/this-week-in-tech Get episodes ad-free with Club TWiT at https://twit.tv/clubtwit Sponsors: eightsleep.com/twit mintmobile.com/twit Miro.com/podcast kolide.com/twit

OG sits down with the one and only T-Rell about his rise in podcast, fatherhood, the streets and more! https://www.instagram.com/ogcuicide/ --- 00:00 Intro 00:46 T-Rell opens up about his motorcycle accident 2:29 T-Rell did a wheelie the day he bought his motorcycle 3:28 Leaving work and practicing wheelies before the accident  5:55 The adrenaline rush he got from riding 9:12 Waking up in the street after the accident and not feeling his right side  12:00 Call #1 - Man talks using fitness to fight depression 16:30 T-Rell returns to his accident story  18:10 Asking the paramedic to go get his arm, thinking it was gone 19:30 Getting to the hospital and being able to laugh  22:00 Getting morphine and pain p__ after the hospital  23:05 Hallucinating from the p__ at the hospital  23:38 Never being told about rehab or neurosurgeons that could help 23:30 Not feeling like his old self, feeling like 50% of himself 25:26 Getting depressed more and more every day while trying to move his arm  25:30 Feeling the most depressed ever, thinking about suicide 28:30 “Hold Yourself Like You're Regular” Arm feels like holding something dead 29:40 Wanting a child before he passes learning how to walk again, and gaining confidence back 32:36 Being addicted to v**in and tramadol 40:40 Having to shake hands with the left hand 43:00 First time being able to reach for a cookie after the accident 44:00 Showing Heather his hand moving for the first time 45:06 Wanting to be able to shake hands normally  47:36 Call #2 - Working in the entertainment field and dealing with suits 51:50 T-Rell's story could inspire more people out there  55:25 Consistency will get you where you want to be, procrastinating won't 58:00 Dealing with his kids and learning to adapt  1:01:08 OG Cuicide talks about his ** attempt  1:02:33 Being a crip and how ** is looked down upon  1:08:00 OG always wanting to see a difference in his neighborhood 1:12:16 Is the Youth culture worse now due to the internet? 1:14:00 No Jumper fans reaching out to OG Cuicide for help 1:17:17 No shoulders to lean on growing up in the hood --- NO JUMPER PATREON http://www.patreon.com/nojumper CHECK OUT OUR NEW SPOTIFY PLAYLIST https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5te... FOLLOW US ON SNAPCHAT FOR THE LATEST NEWS & UPDATES https://www.snapchat.com/discover/No_... CHECK OUT OUR ONLINE STORE!!! http://www.nojumper.com/ SUBSCRIBE for new interviews (and more) weekly: http://bit.ly/nastymondayz  Follow us on SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/4ENxb4B... iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/n... Follow us on Social Media: https://www.snapchat.com/discover/No_... http://www.twitter.com/nojumper http://www.instagram.com/nojumper https://www.facebook.com/NOJUMPEROFFI... http://www.reddit.com/r/nojumper JOIN THE DISCORD: https://discord.gg/Q3XPfBm Follow Adam22: https://www.tiktok.com/@adam22 http://www.twitter.com/adam22 http://www.instagram.com/adam22 adam22hoe on Snapchat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices