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33 episodes with Deadeye
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2 episodes with Deadeye
3 episodes with Deadeye
3 episodes with Deadeye
A teen hanging out at the school football field challenges the unseen. What happens next? Well… let's just say it gives new meaning to the term ‘end zone.'Daniel Gene Barlekamp is the author of fiction and poetry for young readers and adults. His middle-grade ghost story “The Curse of the Cat Man” appears in the anthology The Haunted States of America (Godwin Books/Macmillan, 2024), and his poetry has been translated into Mandarin by Poetry Hall. Originally from New Jersey, Daniel now lives with his wife and son in Massachusetts, where he works in immigration law by day and attends law school by night. Find his full bio in the episode description and at the Kaidankai website. Find him at dgbarlekamp.com and on Twitter @dgbarlekamp.You can read "Deadeye" at https://www.kaidankaistories.com.Website: kaidankaistories.comContact me through the website contact form.Photo by Lucas Andrade on UnsplashFollow us on: InstagramFacebook
Daily Dad Jokes (31 Jan 2025)The official Daily Dad Jokes Podcast electronic button now available on Amazon. The perfect gift for dad! Click here here to view!Email Newsletter: Looking for more dad joke humour to share? Then subscribe to our new weekly email newsletter. It's our weekly round-up of the best dad jokes, memes, and humor for you to enjoy. Spread the laughs, and groans, and sign up today! Click here to subscribe!Listen to the Daily Dad Jokes podcast here: https://dailydadjokespodcast.com/ or search "Daily Dad Jokes" in your podcast app.Interested in Business and Finance news? Then listen to our sister show: The Daily Business and Finance Show. Check out the website here or search "Daily Business and Finance Show" in your podcast app.Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes.Joke credits: Vealophile, iShitSkittles, Emergency-Car6458, Apprehensive_Battle8, funsizedcomics, MrPeanut76, ChaoShadow87, Masselein, morbidmedic, simpnotsimp, whakerdo1, berkleysquare, klmonion, Mochrie01, prankerjoker, Busy-Rice8615, Acceptable_Bank2162, EndersGame_Reviewer, Brave-Ad6627, Left-Distribution-13, ES_FTrader, Dependent-Phone7496, bobskimo, Jester57, , zenocidepilot, ilikesidehugs, tsaot, SusRampage, Opportunist_Ad3972, Living-Project-5227, Flower_Nice, ShakesZX, 1Blue3Brown, God-2008, Man-e-questions, pLeThOrAx, GDaddyBee, TheLifeOfRyanB, tamjidtahim, Henri_Dupont, Wendals87, 192335, Juggaloo-00, GotMyOrangeCrush, randothrowra, FruitMcVeg, Kalefuu, spacemouse21, Realistic-Twist-3112, Square-Quality-9801, firedragonsrule, VenkyFromAnakapalli, kickypie, thisaintyouravgstonk, EndersGame_Reviewer, NEDYARB523, StrikingRise4356, michaelY1968, Left-Distribution-13, Masselein, KateLucas, Left-Distribution-13, GiborDesign, TRAKRACER, orion726, Ok_Presence36, slinky317, EndersGame_Reviewer, donttakethechip, S2018141018, Utterlybored, donttakethechip, JohnnyKnowing, Joel_Boyens, Admirable_Yard5581, Slowloris81, ilikesidehugs, Airbiscotti, SwabbySailor, XxRmotion, ExtremePresence3030, ChalkHorseNIck, ThusSpokeGaba, spacemouse21, bryanBr, MattInTheHat15, Man-e-questions, Mediocre_Profile5576, MaCk_Pinto, dubaidadjokes, moozuba, StockInitial4460, Cultural_Card_2603, Thumbs0fDestiny, grandmabrouhaha, kevindavis338, Fakenerd791, e-bio, yoursweetashley, MaCk_Pinto, GiborDesign, berkleysquare, Salty_Obligation4727, 010061, Admirable_Yard5581, Illustrious-Order283, muddu99, handbreath, boujielilthang, Puzzleheaded-Bee120, Informal_Stress_9953, Few-Victory-5773, Ressulbormik, deeversant, Man-e-questions, NotWhoIonceWass, Upvoter_NeverDie, brother_p, micverm, Nova_Badger, drpantzo, SomeOneOutThere-1234, Hammurabi87, 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murfvillage, manchuck, Sir_Pluses, Wiki_Beats, SefetAkunosh, xPopcornTime, Orthopaedics21, Upvoter_NeverDie, Sikatrixie, SelfishMentor, mongreleyes, damage_royal, Mindnessss, berkleysquare, 13Fleas, alanmitch34, PhilosopherOdd155, berkleysquare, subsailor1968, Jeff7760, Joel_Boyens, CrypticMind-, sydh-sun, Olivia-Brownn, samof1994, berkleysquare, planesnmusic, Admirable_Yard5581, AnyUpstairs5698, Driftless1981, EveryGamerReddit, Joel_Boyens, Ok_Presence36, 66Spintax, TheQuietKid22, berkleysquare, eskapismus2024, BigHowski, Caramel_Forest, houndoom92, Inevitable-Coffee-74, Kyle125, karaokechameleon, Budget-Pay3743, DustBowl20, 192335, MiddleAgedToddler, Realistic-Twist-3112, BralessVictory, sulldanivan, Masselein, SimpletonSwan, UnableSelection9263, Masselein, ilikesidehugs, MysticEnby420, Masselein, , ComicGenius1986, tumalditamadre, Choice-Trifle8179, TheQuietKid22, pica55, Glitch_The_witch, ilikesidehugs, kevindavis338, ExcellentlyEnthused, Nomad4te, bluephantasm133, ckeilah, 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AmazingMeltedSnowman, Happy_Jew, KtheMage36, 192335, RSGaming0416, Victoroftheapes, AkisFatHusband, UrbanCyclerPT, frankstan33, cyahzar, Blast-Mix-3600, hamiltonisoverrat3d, Kashmonei58, UrbanCyclerPT, RedwoodDuncan, Admirable_Yard5581, Lucky_M0nkey, Yokelele, GiborDesign, Dependent-Gap-409, Left-Distribution-13, yoooooosolo, Ryde29Subscribe to this podcast via:iHeartMediaSpotifyiTunesGoogle PodcastsYouTube ChannelSocial media:InstagramFacebookTwitterTikTokDiscordInterested in advertising or sponsoring our show? Contact us at mediasales@klassicstudios.comProduced by Klassic Studios using AutoGen Podcast technology (http://klassicstudios.com/autogen-podcasts/)See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Duck Team tries to stop Callie's sister from confronting Queen Jovyre alone! Calder updates his relationship status, Sol visits Galactic Swag, and Callie finally faces Cyra. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content!Music / Sound Effects Include: “A Wizard's Tournament” by Emily Axford."Shadowfell" by Emily Axford."In the Dark of Dust" by Emily Axford."Spearmint & Tea Leaves" by Emily Axford."Prodigal Sister" by Emily Axford."Cable Car Ride" by Emily Axford."Frankie" by Emily Axford."Doppelganger" by Emily Axford."Deadeye" by Emily Axford."A Friend for Life" by Emily Axford."The Multiverse" by Emily Axford."Ode to the Archipelago" by Emily Axford."A Memory" by Emily Axford."Alanis" by Emily Axford."Red Fen" by Emily Axford."Fabric of Fate" by Emily Axford."The Purge" by Emily Axford."The Posse" by Emily Axford."Unknown Tome" by Emily Axford."Mee Maw's Burden" by Emily Axford."A Fate Refused" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
"What a long strange trip it's been!" In this episode, we explore Lockhart's vibrant music, community, and creativity. We start with Dead Eye, Austin's Grateful Dead tribute band, as they share their journey and recent performance at Courthouse Nights. Next, we check in with Dustin Welch from Soldier Songs and Voices, a nonprofit supporting veterans through music, and chat with Michelle Saxon and Ivan Sanchez, the duo behind Lockhart's only vegan food truck, Hey Darlin'. We also hear from Celeste Quesada, a community builder and artist, and Joella Gammage of Texas Hatters, who is reviving her grandfather's songs, a piece of Texas music history.Join us for this and more and as always don't forget to TIP THE BAND!Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/78644/exclusive-content
Join Captain Dave Hansen, Ashley Dead Eye Jones and Heather Smith Outdoors! Ashley "Dead Eye" Jones is known for her role on the reality TV show "Swamp People,". Heather Smith, known as Heather Smith Outdoors, is recognized for her participation in the reality TV show "Naked & Afraid" and they are both big on social media! ------------------------------------------------- Latest SoCal Fish Reports on my app (4000+ members) (iOS) : https://apps.apple.com/us/app/your-saltwater-guide/id1666659346 Latest SoCal Fish Reports on my app (4000+ members) (ANDROID) : https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=tv.uscreen.yoursaltwaterguide New Merch: https://store.yoursaltwaterguide.com/ 400+ Fishing How To Videos: https://www.yoursaltwaterguide.com/ ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: AFTCO (American Fishing Tackle Company) Family owned and operated, the American Fishing Tackle Company (AFTCO) represents unparalleled quality, performance, and reliability when it counts most. Save 15% on your AFTCO order using code “YSWG824” at checkout: https://www.aftco.com/?utm_source=yswg&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=yswg Book Fishing Charters Online with Fishing Booker! Search, book & review charters in 110 countries. #FishingBooker https://fishingbooker.com/#65f5376e4bfdd Okuma Fishing Tackle USA: Go to the Okuma store to check out all of their products. #Okuma #OkumaFishing https://okumafishingusa.com/ Promar & Ahi USA: Since 2002, Promar & Ahi USA have made it their goal to provide anglers with high quality fishing products and accessories under the Promar & Ahi USA brands. #Promar #PromarAhiUSA #PromarAhi Save 10% on your entire order using code “YSWG22” at checkout: https://promarahi.com/?ref_cca=dave_hansen Pacific Sportfishing Alliance: Book Your Dream Fishing Trip With Pacific Sportfishing Alliance! Experience the Ultimate in Sportfishing at Bucket List Destination such as Alaska, San Diego & Baja, Mexico! #pacificsportfishingalliance Get Exclusive Deals & Trip Discounts by mentioning Your Saltwater Guide: https://pacificsportfishingalliance.com/ Deckhand Sports - Fishing Kill Bags, Dry Bags & Gear: Their Bags Don't Leak! Don't let a leaky bag ruin your catch! Get your hands on an industry-leading leak-proof Fish Kill Bag today, made with innovative High-Frequency Welding technology that ensures you'll never have to deal with leaks again. #deckhandsports #ourbagsdontleak Discount code: "YSWG15" (Use for 15% off your entire order) https://deckhandsports.com/ Stanley Plumbing (Don Stanley) - Get your Tankless Water Heaters! Call 1-888-900-1970 today. Installation or Repair based in Upland CA. https://stanleyplumbing.net/ Code 4 Roofing - Residential and Commercial Roofing Call (855)994-1776 or Email Sales@code4roofing.com https://code4roofing.com/ ----------------------------------------------- Book an Official Your Saltwater Guide! Call Captain Justin Bottrell on (951) 703-9442 Call Captain Alan Clowers on (619) 800-3474 Call Captain Pablo Fernandez on (619) 431-3070 Call Captain Sonny on (702) 612-1269 ------------------------------------------------ Producer & Marketing: Elliot Andrews/Inside The Byte Marketing https://www.instagram.com/andrewe02/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
“Dead Eye” by Dannye Chase Manawaker’s Patreon: https://patreon.com/manawaker/ Manawaker books: https://payhip.com/Manawaker More info / Contact CB Droege: https://cbdroege.taplink.ws Author Bio: Dannye Chase is a queer, married mom of three who lives in the US Pacific Northwest. She claims to write in many genres, but her oldest offspring suspects it all boils down to either romance or horror…or somehow both. You can find her at DannyeChase.com, where she gives weird writing prompts.
Scotty talks to Bram Stoker and Shirley Jackson Award-winning author, editor, anthologist, and publisher Eric J. Guignard about growing up in sunny southern California, how his early interest in "Hardy Boys" adventure novels combined with his fascination with the short horror tale to craft his own unique sensibility, and how--after the 2008 financial crash--he finally decided to pursue his dreams of becoming a writer. Scotty and Eric then do a deep dive into Eric's award-winning collection ""That Which Grows Wild: 16 Tales of Dark Fiction" (2018, Cemetary Dance), and discuss Eric's Stoker-nominated novel "Doorways to the Deadeye" (2019, Journalstone) Eric also talks about taking over and operating the horror press Dark Moon Books, his passion for publishing quality fiction anthologies, and what it's like editing legendary authors like Joe R. Lansdale and Bentley Little. And, of course, they spend a few minutes at the end talking about a movie. This time the film in question is the underrated direct-to-video prequel "From Dusk Till Dawn 3: The Hangman's Daughter"--a surprisingly effective mashup of the Spaghetti Western and the B-vampire flick. You can find Eric online at http://www.ericjguignard.com You can find Dark Moon Books at http://www.darkmoonbooks.com You can get your copy of "That Which Grows Wild: 16 Tales of Dark Fiction" here: https://www.amazon.com/That-Which-Grows-Wild-Fiction/dp/1949491005 You can get your copy of "Doorways to the Deadeye" here: https://www.amazon.com/Doorways-Deadeye-Eric-J-Guignard-ebook/dp/B07VF7S58B/ You can find "+Horror Library Volume 7+" (including Scotty's story "Giant and Child: A Fugue" at http://www.darkmoonbooks.com/Horror_Library_7.html You can find "Professor Charlatan Bardot's Travel Anthology to the Most (Fictional) Haunted Buildings in the Weird, Wild World" at http://www.darkmoonbooks.com/travel_anthology.html You can find "After Death..." (featuring Alvaro Rodriguez' "Boy, 7") at https://www.amazon.com/After-Death-John-Langan-ebook/dp/B074TTRHJK/ Be sure to tune in to Daniel Braum's YouTube series "Night Time Logic." The series focuses on the strange, weird, and wonderful side of dark fiction through readings and discussions with diverse authors from around the world. You can tune in on Daniel's You Tube Channel, which is his name DanielBraum or @danielbraum7838. Author Paul Tremblay will appear live on August 29 at 7 p.m., EST: https://www.facebook.com/events/797113355174358 This podcast is powered by Pinecast.
The King's Necklace Matter followed by Deadeye Trades His Horse.
A spot of R & R for the crew of the Jackalope leads to a bigger adventure for Lt Taddy McZacker when he encounters a face from the past, Deadeye Eastlife. While they search for buried treasure, Captain Peter Rabbit and Doctor Harvey ‘Hopper' Smith enjoy a relaxing meal with old friends Dr Bunny Hopp and Mary Hoppitt. But something isn't quite right. Star Rabbit Tracks, “Return of Deadeye” was written by N.J. Rainford. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
A spot of R & R for the crew of the Jackalope leads to a bigger adventure for Lt Taddy McZacker when he encounters a face from the past, Deadeye Eastlife. While they search for buried treasure, Captain Peter Rabbit and Doctor Harvey ‘Hopper' Smith enjoy a relaxing meal with old friends Dr Bunny Hopp and Mary Hoppitt. But something isn't quite right. Star Rabbit Tracks, “Return of Deadeye” was written by N.J. Rainford. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Join Mark as he welcomes back YouTube personality Deadeye as they delve into another movie adaptation based on a video game, this time tackling "Five Nights at Freddy's." Will this film capture the same fear and anxiety of the game series? Tune in to find out! Dead3y3 Links: Youtube | X | Discord | Haddon horror Socials: Insta | Letterboxd | TikTok | Merch For Business Email: letterstoomedia@gmail.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/haddonfieldhorrors/message
Special guest host Chris (aka Deadeye) joins Conor and Nick for a deep dive into Retrotainment Games' brilliant but baffling Full Quiet for NES. Conor reveals his new game design concept (the F.A.R.T.W.A.L.K.), Nick dusts off his memories of Russian literature, and Chris… probably isn't used to this amount of profanity in a homebrew podcast. Still need to play Full Quiet? Find it on Steam, Nintendo e-Shop, or Xbox, or get the cartridge here. Our next Game Club picks will be Flea! and Tapeworm Disco Puzzle for NES and Dreamcast. Find links to both at Lowtek Games' website. Check out Chris' Homebrews in Focus on YouTube. You can find the Full Quiet wiki here (expect spoilers). Join the Full Quiet speedrunning Discord server here. Ron Gilbert on “The Monkey Island rubber chicken problem” and designing obscure puzzles in games. Legacy of the Wizard (NES) game map. As always, find links to our social media and more at: http://homebrewgameclub.com
The Chaos Agent (Gray Man) by Mark Greaney https://amzn.to/49cWR7B Artificial intelligence leads to shockingly real danger for the Gray Man in this latest entry in the #1 New York Times bestselling series. A car accident in Japan. A drowning in Seoul. A home invasion in Boston. Someone is killing the world's leading experts on robotics and artificial intelligence. Is it a tech company trying to eliminate the competition or is it something even more sinister? After all, artificial intelligence may be the deadliest battlefield gamechanger since the creation of gunpowder. The first nation to field weapons that can act at the speed of computer commands will rule the battlefield. It's an irresistible lure for most, but not for the Gray Man. His quest for a quiet life has led him to Central America where he and his lover, Zoya Zakharova, have assumed new identities. With a list of enemies that includes billionaires, terrorists, and governments, they need to keep a low profile, but the world's deadliest assassin can't expect to hide out forever. Eventually, they're tracked down and offered a job by an old acquaintance of Zoya's. He needs their help extracting a Russian scientist who is on the kill list. They reject the offer, but just being seen with him is enough to put assassins on their trail. Now, they're back on the run, but no matter which way they turn, it's clear that whoever's tracking them is always going to be one step ahead. Since flight's no longer possible, fight is the only option left, and no one fights dirtier than the Gray Man. About the author Mark Greaney is the #1 NYT bestselling author of BURNER, the 12th GRAY MAN novel. The Netflix production of THE GRAY MAN, starring Ryan Gosling and Chris Evans, was the #1 most popular movie on the streaming service in 2022. Mark has written or co-written seven Tom Clancy novels and is also the co-author of the 2019 military thriller, RED METAL, and the 2022 release, Armored. The Gray Man series also includes, SIERRA SIX, RELENTLESS, ONE MINUTE OUT, MISSION CRITICAL, AGENT IN PLACE, GUNMETAL GRAY, BACK BLAST, DEAD EYE, BALLISTIC, ON TARGET, and THE GRAY MAN.
This Week on Earth Station DCU! Drew Leiter and Cletus Jacobs go into the deep woods... Martha Kent tries to get Fire and Ice to make up at a drag brunch and Lobo comes to Kansas in Fire & Ice: Welcome to Smallville #4. The Birds of Prey must face off against Wonder Woman as they try to escape Themyscira in Birds of Prey #4. Love might be in the air, but Jaime decides the only way to stop the Blood Scarab is to kill him in Blue Beetle #4. Zur-En-Arrh has taken over Batman's body and is intent on killing the Joker in Batman #140. Ivy is working on a cure for the Lamia spores when Killer Croc, Solomon Grundy, and her infected children show up in Poison Ivy #17. Since Billy refuses to continue as the Captain, Freddy tell the gods he will in Shazam #6. Nia Nal enlists the help of John Kent to help save lives in Titans: Beast World Tour - Metropolis #1. Waller enlists the help of Deadeye and other heroes to stop Dr. Hate in Titans: Beast World - Waller Rising #1. All this plus, DC News, Shout Outs, and much, much more! ------------------------ Table of Contents 0:00:00 Show Open 0:01:04 DC News 0:04:02 Fire & Ice: Welcome to Smallville #4 0:09:30 Birds of Prey #4 0:15:12 Blue Beetle #4 0:19:09 Batman #140 0:26:59 Poison Ivy #17 0:29:05 Shazam #6 0:34:33 Titans: Beast World Tour - Metropolis #1 0:39:28 Titans: Beast World - Waller Rising #1 0:46:02 Sweet Tooth S2 Ep2 - Into the Deep Woods 0:52:18 Show Close Links Fire & Ice: Welcome to Smallville #4 Birds of Prey #4 Blue Beetle #4 Batman #140 Poison Ivy #17 Shazam #6 Titans: Beast World Tour - Metropolis #1 Titans: Beast World - Waller Rising #1 Lazarus Planet #1: Next Evolution (Cletus's Read More Comics Pick) Earth Station DCU Website The ESO Network If you would like to leave feedback, comment on the show, or would like us to give you a shout out, please call the ESDCU feedback line at (317) 455-8411 or feel free to email us @ earthstationdcu@gmail.com
Welcome back to Lez Hang Out, the podcast that wants you to take your polycule on a trip around Gaysia. This week, Leigh (@lshfoster) and Ellie (@elliebrigida) hang out to talk about why Adele Lim's 2023 comedy Joy Ride Should've Been Gay. For those of you unfamiliar with the film, Joy Ride opens with main characters Audrey and Lolo becoming best friends forever in the absolute cutest meet-cute we have ever seen. Audrey's parents adopted her from China and they are overjoyed when Lolo's family moves to their small extremely white town because they want their daughter to have a friend she fits in with. Lolo immediately becomes Audrey's biggest defender and supporter, knocking out playground bullies and telling off racist kids at their school. When the movie fast forwards to adulthood Lolo and Audrey are as close as ever, so close that they literally live together. When Audrey has to go to China to close a business deal, Lolo offers to come along as an interpreter. Once in China they link up with Lolo's cousin Deadeye, a heavily online K-Pop stan, and Kat, an accomplished actress who happens to be Audrey's old college roommate. When Audrey's first attempt to close the business deal is a huge flop, she is given one chance to fix it. She has to bring her birth mother to a party at the end of the week to do damage control. The only problem is, Audrey has very limited information on how to track down her birth mother. The four friends take off to find the agency that facilitated Audrey's adoption and the adventure quickly turns to total drug-fueled chaos. The potential for a romantic relationship between Lolo and Audrey is obvious from the moment they meet as children on the playground. However, there is equally enough chemistry to go around with Kat. Audrey has clearly been enamored with Kat since their college acapella days and if Lolo's obsession with Kat's vagina tattoo is any indication, she is absolutely interested in her too. They may start off as frenemies, but there is something else brewing just under the surface. Lolo is actually canonically bisexual, but the movie only mentions it once in passing and to our dismay does not spend any time exploring it. Our polycule could not be complete without Deadeye who we read as a nonbinary, neurodivergent gray-ace. Deadeye can literally beatbox. What straight person does that? We know one thing for sure, Joy Ride Should've Been Gay. Follow us on Twitter: (@lezhangoutpod) and answer our Q & Gay questions at the end of every episode. You can also join us on Facebook.com/lezhangoutpod and Instagram (@lezhangoutpod). Find us individually on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok at Leigh (@lshfoster) and Ellie (@elliebrigida). Time is running out to join Ellie and Leigh in Costa Rica this May for a queer wellness retreat. Don't let future-you suffer from fomo! Book a spot by January 30th at bit.ly/lezdocostarica and treat yourself to a once in a lifetime experience, new friendships, and some much deserved relaxation in a beautiful National Park. You can support Lez Hang Out while unlocking a bunch of perks like access to our exclusive Discord community, monthly full length bonus episodes, weekly ad-free episodes, and more by joining us on Patreon at bit.ly/lezpatreon. You can also support the podcast by checking out our original merch at bit.ly/lezshop and purchasing our original Lez-ssentials songs for as little as $1 each on Bandcamp! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
This episode covers Orphan Black S2E3 "Mingling Its Own Nature With It".If you have any questions or comments feel free to email us at onmylistpod650@gmail.com.
Our Sponsors:*(NEW BOOK) Finding Freedom: Overcoming Addiction - A Bible-Centered Recovery*Understanding the Bible Made Easy: Bible Study Guide for Beginners*Christian Devotional and Prayer Journal for WomenComedy Classics Old Time RadioRed Skelton· A New Dead EyeIntroducing Comedy Classics: Your Destination for Vintage Radio Comedy and Old-Time Radio ShowsWelcome to Comedy Classics, your premier podcast that immerses you in the finest Old-Time Radio comedy shows hailing from the illustrious Golden Age of Radio. Get ready to indulge in hearty laughter with our meticulously chosen array of vintage comedy programs featuring classic sitcoms, sketch comedy, and variety shows that have stood the test of time and continue to tickle funny bones.Experience the allure of Retro Audio and Vintage Drama as we transport you back to a cherished era of radio entertainment. Immerse yourself in the uproarious world of some of the most cherished and iconic characters to ever grace the airwaves.Join us on this whimsical journey as we rekindle the magic of classic comedy teams such as Abbott and Costello, the timeless humor of Jack Benny, the charm of Burns and Allen, the wit of The Great Gildersleeve, the hilarious escapades of Fibber McGee and Molly, the endearing narratives of Amos 'n' Andy, and the delightful stories of Our Miss Brooks.If you're searching for a good laugh and a dose of timeless humor, look no further. Tune in to Comedy Classics, the ultimate destination for vintage radio comedy that will uplift your spirits and remind you of the golden era of entertainment. Laugh along with the masters of wit and humor and relive the moments that have left an indelible mark on the history of comedy.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/old-time-radio-classic-comedy/exclusive-contentAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Subscriber-only episodeWelcome to our premium subscribers and to the full uncut Ralph Hettick series. Mr. Hettick was from central IL and served in the US Army's 96th Infantry Division - the "Deadeye's" - in the Pacific during WWII. There he fought in the lengthy battle for Leyte in the Philippines starting in October 1944 and immediately after went to fight in the battle for Okinawa on April 1, 1945 where he was severely wounded and sent back to the USA at wars end. Stay tuned for additional content at the end .
Ahead of their third album Death Is Nothing To Us, Pat spoke with me about having parents in the miliatary, being around caskets in middle school, ignoring the march of time, High Vis, songs being his own life preservers and working at Dead Eye's boat washing company in New Bedford Death Is Nothing To Us: https://runforcoverrecords.com/products/fiddlehead-death-is-nothing-to-us-pre-order Photo: Pooneh Ghana Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Director Adele Lim discusses her new film, Joy Ride, with fellow Director Jason Ensler in a Q&A at the DGA theater in Los Angeles. In the conversation, Lim discusses working on a film as a first-time director, channeling the energy of the cast into their characters and how she accomplished scenes when plans didn't work out. The film tells the story of four Chinese-American friends on an international trip in search of one of their birth mothers. Audrey, Lolo, Kat and Deadeye experience friendship, belonging, debauchery and eventually discover the universal truth of what it means to know and love who you are See photos and a summary of this event below: https://dga.org/Events/2023/August2023/JoyRide_QnA_0723.aspx
Chris and Taylor review the comedy film Joy Ride, directed by Adele Lim, in her feature directorial debut, and written by Cherry Chevapravatdumrong and Teresa Hsiao, from a story by Lim, Chevapravatdumrong, and Hsiao. When Audrey's business trip to Asia goes sideways, she enlists the help of Lolo, her childhood best friend, Kat, a college friend, and Deadeye, Lolo's eccentric cousin. Their epic, no-holds-barred experience becomes a journey of bonding, friendship, belonging and wild debauchery that reveals the universal truth of what it means to know and love who you are. The film stars Ashley Park, Sherry Cola, Stephanie Hsu, and Sabrina Wu, with Ronny Chieng, Meredith Hagner, David Denman, Annie Mumolo, Timothy Simons, and Daniel Dae Kim.Follow us on:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepotentialpodcast/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thepotentialpodcastTwitter: https://twitter.com/thepotentialpodSupport us on Patreon:patreon.com/thepotentialpodcastThanks to our sponsors: Let'sGetChecked: Get 25% off your health test at trylgc.com/potential and enter promo code POTENTIAL25 ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
JOY RIDE PODCAST.Ever wondered how a journey of self-discovery unfolds for Chinese American friends in a foreign country? Brace yourself for an exhilarating ride through the film, Joy Ride, as we unravel the tapestry of friendship, identity, and belonging in our latest episode of Cinema Judge. Highlighting the essence of this power-packed adventure, we give you a sneak peek into the movie's trailer that beautifully captures the trials and tribulations these friends face.We're thrilled to have the film's director, Adele Lim, and dynamic co-writers and producers, Cherry Chevapravatdumrong and Teresa Hsiao, gracing our discussion today. They generously share their inspirations behind the script, revealing how their personal stories fueled the narrative. Adding to this, producers Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen let us in on their initial reactions to the script and their aspirations for the movie. Furthermore, join our engaging conversation about Asian representation in film, featuring the talented Sherry Cola, who plays Lolo, and Stephanie Hsu, the brilliant actor behind Kat.But the star of today's episode is the impressive Sabrina Wu, who astoundingly portrayed Deadeye. Listen to her powerful journey to landing the role and the thrill of working with a supportive cast and crew. As we delve deeper into the film's potent themes, we discuss how comedy can strike a chord with the audience emotionally. So sit back, tune in as we explore the cinematic wonder that is Joy Ride, and don't forget to catch the film on demand. To be part of this exciting journey, all you need to do is hit play!
EDITORIAL CORRECTION: I mentioned in this video that Director Adele Lim directed Crazy Rich Asians. She is credited for writing the screenplay for that movie. I wanted to point that out and I was trying to make a point that my comparison is still valid in regards to Asian representation in movies. Sorry about that! Joy Ride is the latest movie by director Adele Lim that is one of the best R rated comedies to come out in some time. Keep watching to see why I feel this way and why I think this is a movie that you should NOT miss!
THE DOOMED & STONED SHOW ~Season 9, Episode 7~ This episode, we wrap up our look at the Spring DOOM CHARTS rankings (https://doomcharts.com), by taking a look at our favorite pics from the May 2023 edition, Top 40 rankings. Three-plus hours of talk 'n' rock with Billy Goate (Editor, Doomed & Stoned), John Gist (Vegas Rock Revolution/The Gist List), and Bucky Brown (The Ripple Effect). Become a monthly patron for $5/month and access all past seasons of the show, plus other rewards and special features. Visit https://patreon.com/doomedandstoned. PLAYLIST: INTRO (00:00) 1. Cooling Tower (no. 29) - "Kingdom Come" (Sir Lord Baltimore cover) (00:31) HOST SEGMENT I (07:36) 2. High Desert Queen (no. 12) - "Black Moon" (29:28) 3. Smokey Mirror (no. 17) - "Sacrificial Altar" (35:16) 4. High Leaf (no. 16) - "Dead Eye" (42:45) HOST SEGMENT II (46:28) 5. Oceanlord (no. 11) - "2340" (1:04:23) 6. Thousand Vision Mist (no. 14) - "Sands of Time" (1:10:28) 7. Trevor's Head (no. 20) - "Call of the Deep" (1:14:28) HOST SEGMENT III (1:17:48) 8. They Watch Us From The Moon (no. 10) - "MOAB" (1:34:51) 9. Blood Ceremony (no. 9) - "The Hellfire Club" (1:41:16) 10. The Machine (no. 8) - "Wave Cannon" (1:46:04) HOST SEGMENT IV (1:53:15) 11. Duskwood (no. 7) - "She Calls" (2:03:02) 12. Vermilion Whiskey (no. 6) - "The Get Down" (2:06:21) 13. Loose Sutures (no. 5) - "Highway Shooter" (2:12:40) HOST SEGMENT V (2:16:38) 14. Moonstone (no. 4) - "Bloom" (2:46:34) 15. Alconaut (no. 3) - "Slugs" (2:54:21) 16. Formula 400 (no. 2) - "Born To Loose" (3:00:17) 17. Gozu - (no. 1) "Tom Cruise Control" (3:05:12) OUTRO (3:09:29) 18. Hibernaut (no. 15) - "Stygian Nectar" (3:10:21) CREDITS: Theme Song: Dylan Tucker Thumbnail Art: Moonstone Incidental Music: 'Doomed & Stoned: The Instrumentalists (Vol. II)' -- available at https://doomedandstoned.bandcamp.com.
Red Skelton was a supercharged comedian who was famous for his physical comedy and characters. Today we tribute him with an episode of his show which features Clem Kadiddlehopper, Deadeye, and the Mean Widdle Mean Kid. Listen for Red getting away with mercilessly roasting his own sponsor's commercials in this program from 1947. Visit our website: https://goodolddaysofradio.com/ Subscribe to our Facebook Group for news, discussions, and the latest podcast: https://www.facebook.com/groups/881779245938297 If you don't do Facebook, we're also on Gab: https://gab.com/OldRadio Our theme music is "Why Am I So Romantic?" from Animal Crackers: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01KHJKAKS/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_MK8MVCY4DVBAM8ZK39WD
This week we focus on two of the most vibrant scenes in Northern Europe, Amsterdam and Berlin. Along the way we hop from Copenhagen to New York with a few more stops on the way. Enjoy some of the freshest jazz projects out there. The playlist features Lucia Cadotsch, Kurt Rosenwinkel; Petter Eldh, Sun-Mi Hong; Deadeye; Michele Sannelli; Mariasole De Pascali [pictured]; Lukas Traxel; Tilo Weber; Girls in Airports; Carlo Mombelli; Ralph Towner; and Ben Wolfe. Detailed playlist at https://spinitron.com/RFB/pl/17327362/Mondo-Jazz (up to "Hats Off to Rebay") Happy listening!
Jay Moriarty has written and produced some of the most beloved and revered half-hour comedies in television history including: The Jeffersons, All in the Family, Good Times, Maude, What's Happening Now!!, Dear John, The Royal Family, Here and Now, Cosby, and Los Beltran. And he's developed and written pilots for networks and studios including CBS, NBC, ABC, Warner Bros., Columbia, and Paramount.Jay's recent memoir, Honky in the House: Writing & Producing The Jeffersons, sneaks the reader behind the scenes of this classic series for a close-up look at how sitcom sausage is made.Jay and his writing partner, Mike Milligan, sold their first freelance script to Norman Lear's Good Times and were hired on staff at The Jeffersons where they began movin' on up from Writers to Producers to Showrunners.Most recently, Jay published Deadeye, a cowboy comedy novel with heart offering a tip of the Stetson to Don Quixote. Jay is also the author/creator of the classic Sherlock Holmes board game 221 B Baker Street, which has sold over 3 million copies in nine different countries.Jay served for 11 years as an Adjunct Professor in the Writing Division of the University of Southern California School of Cinematic Arts.
The Red Skelton Show followed by Nick Carter Master Detective
Author Stories - Author Interviews, Writing Advice, Book Reviews
Mark Greaney has a degree in international relations and political science. In his research for the Gray Man novels, including Sierra Six, Relentless, One Minute Out, Mission Critical, Agent in Place, Gunmetal Gray, Back Blast, Dead Eye, Ballistic, On Target, and The Gray Man, he traveled to more than thirty-five countries and trained alongside military and law enforcement in the use of firearms, battlefield medicine, and close-range combative tactics. With Marine LtCol Rip Rawlings, he wrote the New York Times bestseller, Red Metal. He is also the author of the New York Times bestsellers Tom Clancy Support and Defend, Tom Clancy Full Force and Effect, Tom Clancy Commander in Chief, and Tom Clancy True Faith and Allegiance. With Tom Clancy, he coauthored Locked On, Threat Vector, and Command Authority.
Author Stories - Author Interviews, Writing Advice, Book Reviews
Mark Greaney has a degree in international relations and political science. In his research for the Gray Man novels, including Sierra Six, Relentless, One Minute Out, Mission Critical, Agent in Place, Gunmetal Gray, Back Blast, Dead Eye, Ballistic, On Target, and The Gray Man, he traveled to more than thirty-five countries and trained alongside military […]
The PCs meet a new companion and make their way down into Poppy's Proving Grounds. Music:"Cervantes" by Wenches & Rogues"Mud Hardy's" by Wenches & RoguesAll other music by Tabletop AudioThanks for listening! You can find us on Twitter @25northpodcastYou can join our Discord community with this invite code "beNzEN8JjY"You can send us an email at 25northpodcast@gmail.com if you wish
This Week on Earth Station DCU! Drew Leiter and Cletus Jacobs watch as the Rogues go to war! Slam Bradley learns the truth behind his partner death in Gotham City: Year One #5. Harley Quinn comes to Seattle to visit Ivy in Poison Ivy #9. Batman and Joker must lighten the weight on a train before the villain crashes them into the Martha Wayne Memorial Train Station in Batman & The Joker: The Deadly Duo #4. Bruce Wayne searches for a solution to return to his Earth in Batman #132. The Origin of the Fraction is revealed in The Flash: One-Minute War Special #1. While the older speedsters find a new base of operations, Bart and Wallace sneak across enemy lines to learn more about the Fraction in The Flash #792. Raven, Trigon, Nightwing, City Boy, Red Hood, The Vigil, Dead Eye, Amanda Waller, Red Canary, Flatline, Ras Al Ghul, and a kid named Liam must all deal with the fallout of the Lazarus rain in Lazarus Planet: Legends Reborn #1 and Lazarus Planet: Next Evolution #1. Monkey Prince discovers his father in the Phantom Zone in Monkey Prince #11. All this plus, DC News, DC TV, Shout Outs, and much, much more! ------------------------ Table of Contents 0:00:00 Show Open 0:01:12 DC News 0:23:30 Gotham City: Year One #5 0:32:19 Poison Ivy #9 0:35:49 Batman & The Joker: The Deadly Duo #4 0:43:28 Batman #132 0:49:26 The Flash: One-Minute War Special #1 0:55:28 The Flash #792 1:07:32 Lazarus Planet: Legends Reborn #1 1:13:09 Lazarus Planet: Next Evolution #1 1:17:17 Monkey Prince #11 1:24:58 The Flash S9 Ep3 – Rogues of War 1:30:17 Show Close Links Gotham City: Year One #5 Poison Ivy #9 Batman & The Joker: The Deadly Duo #4 Batman #132 The Flash: One-Minute War Special #1 The Flash #792 Lazarus Planet: Legends Reborn #1 Lazarus Planet: Next Evolution #1 Monkey Prince #11 Earth Station One Tales of the Station Earth Station One Tales of the Station Vol. 2 The Chameleon Chronicles: Colors of Fate The Chameleon Chronicles: Sisters of the Thorn If you would like to leave feedback, comment on the show, or would like us to give you a shout out, please call the ESDCU feedback line at (317) 564-9133 (remember long distance charges may apply) or feel free to email us @ earthstationdcu@gmail.com
Duck Team enlists a new ally to track Ultrus and save Calder! Callie goes ice cold, Sol joins the network, and Jake reveals his next character. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music/Sound Effects Include:"Cracking Oak Tree" by klankbeeld at Freesound.org."A Wizard Tournament" by Emily Axford."Deadeye" by Emily Axford."Hospitably Hostile" by Emily Axford."The Pact" by Emily Axford."Balnor the Brave" by Emily Axford."A Memory" by Emily Axford."Wooded Wonder" by Emily Axford."The Purge" by Emily Axford."Cable Car Ride" by Emily Axford."Zirk Vervain" by Emily Axford."Henry's House" by Emily Axford."Winter Sprite" by Emily Axford."Oh, Melora!" by Emily Axford."The Valiant Ol' Cobb" by Emily Axford."Forsaken" by Emily Axford."Greenshade" by Emily Axford."Tundra Trudge" by Emily Axford."Winter's Mantle" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Join Robert Child for a conversation with author Mark Greaney about his latest novel, Burner. Mark's research for the Gray Man novels, including Sierra Six, Relentless, One Minute Out, Mission Critical, Agent in Place, Gunmetal Gray, Back Blast, Dead Eye, Ballistic, On Target, and The Gray Man, has taken him to more than thirty-five countries, and he has trained alongside military and law enforcement in the use of firearms, battlefield medicine, and close-range combative tactics. With Marine LtCol Rip Rawlings, he wrote the New York Times bestseller Red Metal. He is also the author of the New York Times bestsellers Tom Clancy Support and Defend, Tom Clancy Full Force and Effect, Tom Clancy Commander in Chief, and Tom Clancy True Faith and Allegiance. With Tom Clancy, he coauthored Locked On, Threat Vector, and Command Authority. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/robert-child/support
Tephlon Funk is here, and we have thoughts! We also talk the latest edition to Fortnite. We review The Harrower #1 from BOOM! Studios, Lazarus Planet: Next Evolution from DC Comics, and the new Impossible Jones one-shot from Scout Comics! Show your thanks to Major Spoilers for this episode by becoming a Major Spoilers Patron at http://patreon.com/MajorSpoilers. It will help ensure the Major Spoilers Podcast continues far into the future! Join our Discord server and chat with fellow Spoilerites! (https://discord.gg/jWF9BbF) NEWS https://variety.com/2023/tv/news/hit-monkey-renewed-season-2-hulu-1235509885 https://variety.com/2023/film/news/swamp-thing-james-mangold-dc-studios-1235509528 https://bleedingcool.com/games/the-witcher-arrives-in-fortnite-with-an-all-new-crossover-event/ REVIEWS STEPHEN THE HARROWER #1 Writer: Justin Jordan Artist: Brahm Revel Publisher: BOOM! Studios Cover Price: $4.99 Release Date: February 8, 2023 There's nothing to fear in the quaint town of Harrow, New York–except, that is, for the Harrower. The children wish this boogeyman was just an urban legend, but this purveyor of puritanical vengeance against the unrighteous is very real, and there's no escape, because the Harrower seems unkillable, and spans generations, always returning… What secrets will Alice Young, a teenage girl obsessed with the Harrower, uncover, and will she be able to escape the pull of her morbid fixation? This deconstruction of the slasher genre is the fresh and terrifyingly grounded take is perfect for fans of Bone Orchard and The Closet! [rating:4/5] You can purchase this issue via our Amazon affiliate link - https://amzn.to/3X0v5nT MATTHEW LAZARUS PLANET: NEXT EVOLUTION #1 Writer: Various Artist: Various Publisher: DC Comics Cover Price: $4.99 Release Date: February 7, 2023 HEROES WILL BE FORGED! Good and bad, yin and yang…all sides of humanity will be transformed by the Lazarus event…and in the DC Universe one thing's for sure: heroes will always rise. In this special we'll explore some of the amazing new powers gifted to the freedom fighters of the future…and we'll see what perils these villain-vanquishing virtuosos will face. What secret does Flatline seek from the heart of Talia al Ghul's HQ? Can Red Canary bring order to an out-of-control city? What secret does the heroic Dead Eye hold that will haunt him forever? And enter into a brand-new legend with the fantastic debut of Vigil! [rating:2/5] You can purchase this issue via our Amazon affiliate link - https://amzn.to/3RIR1mb RODRIGO IMPOSSIBLE JONES IMPOSSIBLE TEAM UP HOLLY DAZE #1 Writer: Karl Kesel Artist: David Hahn Publisher: Scout Comics Cover Price: $4.99 Release Date: Feb 15, 2023 Impossible Jones (a thief pretending to be a hero) and Holly Daze (a former hero, now a thief) join up for a Girls' Night Out of drinking, dancing... and danger! With Holly's ex, Krampus, lurking in the shadows, Imp learns that sometimes the only thing harder than being enemies-is being friends! Added bonus: first glimpse into the secret Dark Files being kept on Impossible Jones and other crime-fighters and criminals in New Hope City! [rating: 3.5/5] A big Thank You goes out to everyone who downloads, subscribes, listens, and supports this show. We really appreciate you taking the time to listen to our ramblings each week. Tell your friends!
Tephlon Funk is here, and we have thoughts! We also talk the latest edition to Fortnite. We review The Harrower #1 from BOOM! Studios, Lazarus Planet: Next Evolution from DC Comics, and the new Impossible Jones one-shot from Scout Comics! Show your thanks to Major Spoilers for this episode by becoming a Major Spoilers Patron at http://patreon.com/MajorSpoilers. It will help ensure the Major Spoilers Podcast continues far into the future! Join our Discord server and chat with fellow Spoilerites! (https://discord.gg/jWF9BbF) NEWS https://variety.com/2023/tv/news/hit-monkey-renewed-season-2-hulu-1235509885 https://variety.com/2023/film/news/swamp-thing-james-mangold-dc-studios-1235509528 https://bleedingcool.com/games/the-witcher-arrives-in-fortnite-with-an-all-new-crossover-event/ REVIEWS STEPHEN THE HARROWER #1 Writer: Justin Jordan Artist: Brahm Revel Publisher: BOOM! Studios Cover Price: $4.99 Release Date: February 8, 2023 There's nothing to fear in the quaint town of Harrow, New York–except, that is, for the Harrower. The children wish this boogeyman was just an urban legend, but this purveyor of puritanical vengeance against the unrighteous is very real, and there's no escape, because the Harrower seems unkillable, and spans generations, always returning… What secrets will Alice Young, a teenage girl obsessed with the Harrower, uncover, and will she be able to escape the pull of her morbid fixation? This deconstruction of the slasher genre is the fresh and terrifyingly grounded take is perfect for fans of Bone Orchard and The Closet! [rating:4/5] You can purchase this issue via our Amazon affiliate link - https://amzn.to/3X0v5nT MATTHEW LAZARUS PLANET: NEXT EVOLUTION #1 Writer: Various Artist: Various Publisher: DC Comics Cover Price: $4.99 Release Date: February 7, 2023 HEROES WILL BE FORGED! Good and bad, yin and yang…all sides of humanity will be transformed by the Lazarus event…and in the DC Universe one thing's for sure: heroes will always rise. In this special we'll explore some of the amazing new powers gifted to the freedom fighters of the future…and we'll see what perils these villain-vanquishing virtuosos will face. What secret does Flatline seek from the heart of Talia al Ghul's HQ? Can Red Canary bring order to an out-of-control city? What secret does the heroic Dead Eye hold that will haunt him forever? And enter into a brand-new legend with the fantastic debut of Vigil! [rating:2/5] You can purchase this issue via our Amazon affiliate link - https://amzn.to/3RIR1mb RODRIGO IMPOSSIBLE JONES IMPOSSIBLE TEAM UP HOLLY DAZE #1 Writer: Karl Kesel Artist: David Hahn Publisher: Scout Comics Cover Price: $4.99 Release Date: Feb 15, 2023 Impossible Jones (a thief pretending to be a hero) and Holly Daze (a former hero, now a thief) join up for a Girls' Night Out of drinking, dancing... and danger! With Holly's ex, Krampus, lurking in the shadows, Imp learns that sometimes the only thing harder than being enemies-is being friends! Added bonus: first glimpse into the secret Dark Files being kept on Impossible Jones and other crime-fighters and criminals in New Hope City! [rating: 3.5/5] A big Thank You goes out to everyone who downloads, subscribes, listens, and supports this show. We really appreciate you taking the time to listen to our ramblings each week. Tell your friends!
Sometimes we have to bend the rules to qualify artists as appropriate subject matter for One Hit Thunder, but not this week. Deadeye Dick are an undeniable choice, as they are almost universally known ONLY for their catchy pop rock hit “New Age Girl”. This week, we're joined by Johnny Yetsconish to decide if the Dumb and Dumber soundtrack was the EXACT place this song should be, or if there's more meat on the bone when it comes to this fun 90s band. If you like the show, be sure to rate, review, and subscribe. Email us at onehitthunderpodcast@gmail.com. Also, follow us on our social media: Twitter: @1hitthunderpod Instagram: onehitthunderpodcast Wanna create your own podcast? Contact us at www.weknowpodcasting.com for more information. Visit punchlion.com for Punchline tour dates, news, and merch. Sign up for more One Hit Thunder on our Patreon www.patreon.com/OHTPodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Duck Team gathers their allies and faces the Dragon King! Callie goes smite versus bite, Sol becomes a mushroom masseuse, and Calder comes face to face with Ultrus. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music/Sound Effects Include:"Harp Heaven" by X3nus."Orchestral Royal Theme Fanfare" by humanoide9000 at Freesound.org."Engine Room" by Zimbot at Freesound.org."Conspiracy in the Clouds" by Emily Axford."The Writing on the Wall" by Emily Axford."Demigod" by Emily Axford."A Wizard Tournament" by Emily Axford."Left is Left, Right is Center" by Emily Axford."Deadeye" by Emily Axford."Spooky Shafts" by Emily Axford."Gunvar" by Emily Axford."Tarragon" by Emily Axford."Seabeast" by Emily Axford."Soil Coins" by Emily Axford."Lust" by Emily Axford."A Haven Away From Home" by Emily Axford."I Need to Know You're Taken Care Of" by Emily Axford."The Valiant Ol' Cobb" by Emily Axford."Kingshammer" by Emily Axford."Mee Maw's Burden" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Christmas is right at our chimney this week, and as we prepare for the big day we are taking a trip back to Christmas 1946 to hear the fun Red Skelton Christmas Show. So grab a pack of moisturized cigarettes, and get ready for Christmas with Bolivar Shagnasty, Deadeye, and the Mean Widdle Mean Kid. Visit our website: https://goodolddaysofradio.com/ Subscribe to our Facebook Group for news, discussions, and the latest podcast: https://www.facebook.com/groups/881779245938297 If you don't do Facebook, we're also on Gab: https://gab.com/OldRadio Our theme music is "Why Am I So Romantic?" from Animal Crackers: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01KHJKAKS/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_MK8MVCY4DVBAM8ZK39WD
Duck Team searches for allies in the dungeons of the Dragon King's Castle! Callie gets a new life coach, Sol has a major break-through, and Calder tries to expose a scam artist. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music/Sound Effects Include:"Electric Zap" by bevibelddesign at Freesound.org."Engine Room" by Zimbot at Freesound.org."A Wizard's Tournament" by Emily Axford."Left is Left, Right is Center" by Emily Axford."Bonkginya, Fia Bonkginya" by Emily Axford."Deadeye" by Emily Axford."Lilith Latrix" by Emily Axford."Spooky Shafts" by Emily Axford."The Mindflayer's Lair" by Emily Axford."Heed the Mushroom's Call" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Duck Team interrogates Glen, then hatches a plan to save the Crick! Sol goes from hot to cute, Calder finds a new favorite beverage, and Callie's done playing games. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music/Sound Effects Include:"Electric Zap" by bevibelddesign at Freesound.org."Jacob's Ladder" by Halleck at Freesound.org."Electric Wooshes" by Glaneur de sons at Freesound.org."A Wizard's Tournament" by Emily Axford."All I Need is One Thread to Spin a Web" by Emily Axford."Hospitably Hostile" by Emily Axford."A Haven Away From Home" by Emily Axford."Left is Left, Right is Center" by Emily Axford."Bonkginya, Fia Bonkginya" by Emily Axford."Langston" by Emily Axford."Deadeye" by Emily Axford."Alexandrite" by Emily Axford."Tarragon's Terrarium" by Emily Axford."Lilith Latrix" by Emily Axford."Secret Basement" by Emily Axford."Montgomery Manor" by Emily Axford."Demigod" by Emily Axford."Beedra Weevil" by Emily Axford."Apotheosis" by Emily Axford."Spooky Shafts" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Duck Team investigates the attack on Shroomrot's lair! Calder earns -2 to charisma, Callie finds closure in a strange place, and Sol is hit with a bombshell. Support us at Patreon.com/Naddpod to get access to the after-show and a bunch of other Naddpod content! Get tickets to our upcoming live shows at naddpod.com/live.Music/Sound Effects Include:"Epic Chorus Song" by Frankum at Freesound.org."Crackling Fire" by sagetyrtle at Freesound.org."A Wizard's Tournament" by Emily Axford."Soul Coins" by Emily Axford."Sumpin's a Mess Out West" by Emily Axford."The Posse" by Emily Axford."Langston" by Emily Axford."I Need to Know You're Taken Care Of" by Emily Axford."Deadeye" by Emily Axford."Moonshine's Stump" by Emily Axford."The Gunslinger's Girl" by Emily Axford."A Fairy Remembers" by Emily Axford."Left is Left and Right is Center" by Emily Axford."Spooky Shafts" by Emily Axford."The Fairy" by Emily Axford."Secret Basement" by Emily Axford."Gunvar" by Emily Axford."Lilith Latrix" by Emily Axford.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
This episode Kex and Dead Eye discuss theories. Welcome to the Legend of Zelda Lorecast! Join us as we dive into the lore and material of the Legend of Zelda Franchise and explore all those questions that might be clawing their way into your brain. Email us your questions or episode ideas at: Allmightycrit@gmail.com Twitter: @LOZLorecast Discord: https://discord.gg/c3bAuPJCv4 Please Rate us, Share, And Enjoy! **Check out STL Ocarina and use our specific link to get 10% off: https://www.stlocarina.com/discount/LOZLore10 Promo Code: LOZLORE10 Check Out Our Merch: https://www.fumbling4store.com/ All sound effects and BGM were created and belong to the respective parties below: Intro/Outro Music by Bitonal Landscape: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/32oFEPdT33HPDPCJ7fB8wg YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/bitonallandscape Monument Studios Check them out at: https://www.monumentstudios.net Sonnis Check Them out at: https://sonniss.com/ Mid Break Links: Report: Nintendo Planning Zelda-Heavy Direct For September- https://www.comingsoon.net/games/news/1237396-nintendo-zelda-direct-september-report DIY Legend Of Zelda Diamond Paintings- https://www.amazon.com/Diamond-Painting-Legend-Stitch-Embroidery/dp/B088RG6QTR/ref=asc_df_B088RG6QTR/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=475856000593&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=5301695104194966747&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9021800&hvtargid=pla-1074836084333&th=1 Kingdom Hearts and Legend Of Zelda Blades T-Shirt- This item is unavailable - Etsy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
While recovering from his injuries, Lemuel Roberts (The Deadeye Kid) must try and make peace between two local factions - a group of Swedish loggers (please overlook our sincere attempt at translation) and a team of Yorkshire miners - neither of which speaks any English that Lem can understand... Written and Produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Lemuel Roberts /Deadeye Kid - J. Spyder Isaacson Clarence Fanshaw - J. Hoverson Doc - Russell Gold Mrs. Doc - Gwendolyn Gieseke-Woodard Ezra - Reynaud LeBoeuf Mrs. Beamish - Judith Moore The Yorkshire Miners: Scabby Bill: John Lingard Will Watt Stevie K. Farnaby Danar Hoverson Paul Green The Swedish Loggers: Oly - Lothar Tuppan Nels - Danar Hoverson Mark Olson Cary Ayers Bill Jones Reynaud Leboeuf Julie Hoverson Cover Design: Brett Coulstock Announcer: Glen "Ole Hoss" Hallstrom Opening theme: "The Wreck of Old '97" from public domain recording found on archive.org Any incidental music: Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound: Julie Hoverson No gunshots herald his approach. No trademark left behind him when he leaves. The Kid had his fill of notoriety in days gone by - as plenty of empty boots can surely testify. Some say he rides alone. That's the Deadeye Kid. ********************************************************************** Taste of the Beholder [DeK6] Taste of the Beholder [DeK6] EPISODE 5 FANSHAW Lem! Everyone's gathering! It looks a bit of a party. LEM What's them Swedes a-doin? FANSHAW They're standing by. Like a menacing wall of blonde. LEM [laugh, then coughs] FANSHAW Are you quite sure you're up for this? The doctor said you'd worn yourself nearly into a relapse. LEM Why you think I'm a-lyin here, stead-a being out there? MRS. DOC [behind door] You all right in there? May I come in? LEM [up] Yes ma'am. SOUND DOOR OPENS, SHE ENTERS LEM Jest tryin t'sort out some words as might work with these fellers. MRS. DOC That sounds wise. You've already done wonders. But I have a favor--? LEM Anythin' ma'am. MRS. DOC [hesitant] If you can, can you perhaps get them to-- uh-- LEM Go on? MRS. DOC To fix my window, there? They are the ones that broke it. LEM I already planned on jest that, ma'am. Donchoo worry. MRS. DOC Mr. Roberts, you are a veritable angel. LEM Oh, no ma'am. Just a man of plain talkin. [laughs, then coughs a bit] MRS. DOC Get you round a bit more of this and rest you til you're good and ready to come on out. They can just hold their hosses. FANSHAW I'll go and see how far the "royal progress" has come. FADE SOUND OUTSIDE FANSHAW [sigh] Still out of sight. Come along Ezra, let us see if we can catch a glimpse of this mysterious lady. EZRA Are they gonna fight? FANSHAW [definite] No. My friend Lem has maneuvered them into peace talks. EZRA It would be fun to watch them fight, but ain't very angelic, is it? FANSHAW No. Wouldn't want anyone to get hurt, now, would we? EZRA Is that the lady, in the cart? With the big hat and veil? FANSHAW I would assume so. A bit of an affectation for the wilds, but everyone has their little vanities. EZRA Why'ud a lady wear a veil? Is she really ugly? FANSHAW I don't know about this particular lady, but many ladies wear them to protect their delicate skin from the harsh sun. EZRA Ain't much sun under all these trees. FANSHAW And some ladies, well, they wear a veil to put men at a disadvantage. No one is entirely comfortable talking to someone they cannot rightly see. [pause] I need to let Lem know what all is going on. I'll be back shortly. SOUND SHOUTS FANSHAW What? EZRA Thought you said they wasn't a-gonna fight! FANSHAW They weren't supposed to! Blast! That looks like more of the Swedes, taking the cart! MRS. BEAMISH [screams] Tyke yer bleedin' 'ands off me, ye dodgy swine! FANSHAW Not much of a lady. And nothing much we can do here. EZRA Oh, lookee! That feller got punched right off the cart! SOUND GRUNTS FANSHAW I need to go and tell Lem. Would you stay with them and see where they go? EZRA [eager] That would help ya? FANSHAW It would be very helpful. EZRA I'm your man. [distracted] Oh goodness! That fellow slammed into the tree! That's gotta smart something fierce! FADE LEM They here yet? DOC No. It's not so far from the camp that they shouldn't be in sight yet. FANSHAW Lem! Ambush! LEM [quiet] Aw hell. DOC What? LEM [sigh, considering best way to say] I think I ...heard something. DOC [more joking than suspicious] You must have the plumb smartest ears I ever did encounter, Mr. Roberts. The way you keep hearing things. LEM [covering] Uh... Gotta be, livin' raw on the range. Ya don't hear sumpin a-comin up on you, well, you deserve whatever ya get. DOC I reckon so. LEM And with the window broken, sound can get in more. DOC What is it you heard? LEM Fighting. Or leastways a yell. Sumpin that spoke "fight" to ma mind. DOC You think there's still trouble? LEM I'll lay odds that lady ain't gonna make it here any time soon. DOC Dag nabbit. SOUND STORMS OUT OF ROOM FADE SOUND OUTSIDE SOUND SOMEONE RUNS UP OLY Vad är det? [What is it?] KJELL [out of breath] Vi tog henne! [We took her!] OLY [incredulous and angry] Du gjorde vad? [You did WHAT?] KJELL [uncertain] Vi ... tog kvinnan tillbaka. [We ... took the woman back.] SVEN Bra! Nu har vi vad vi betalat för! [Good! Now we have what we paid for!] OLY Du idioter! Nu blir det krig! [You idiot! Now there will be war!] FADE FITCH What wasp flee up thon jacksey? [what got into them?] SCABBY BILL 'Appen t'were skrike I heered? Lads-- [That might have been a shout. The lads--] PIKEY Clack on't devil! Eyup Jimmy! [speak of the devil.] SOUND RUNNING FEET JAMES [gasping and in some pain] Eyup! Them brutes come out't snicket, 'ave cart upskelled and auld lass gone, bahn for none can ken, afore aught'n us could raise 'and. [those fellows come out of the bushes and attacked! Tipped the cart and took the woman before we could react!] FINCH Good night! Could smell t beer, sae close to settlin' t' slate, and such 'appens. [Damn! Just when this was going to settle peacefully, this happens.] JAMES Canna settle now! Yon 'eads want thumpin'! Paid in full. [too late to make peace! I want to beat some heads! They deserve it!] FINCH Dustup does nae good for aught-- [a fight won't do anyone any good] PIKEY [playing devil's advocate] Nae, lad. Tha path's neither nowt nor summat. Time fer muckin out. Nae room fer them as tek such libertines - to clamber out t' shrubbery and ketch up what's nowt fer them. [no, lad. Your way is doing no good. Time to clean this up. There's no place for those who would lay in ambush.] SCABBY BILL Tha's the pot! Us'm tek'er first! [You're one to talk! We took her first] PIKEY [making his point] S'truth, do we chance to scutch, mayhap yan or two might fall - and then us left must delve t' more. [Of course, if we fight, if we strike a blow, some of us may die - which leaves the rest of us to work even harder at digging.] MINERS [mutters] "s'truth." "Ba gum." "It gets right up ma cuff." "'Arsh, that." "Toes up o'er grub? Nae!" JAMES Us'll clean them clocks! [we won't lose!] PIKEY Ne'er seen clock tha could clean. DOC [loud, trying to get all attention] CALM DOWN! ALL GO QUIET DOC Bother. That's about all I got. FADE LEM This's how wars get lit. FANSHAW Who is this woman anyway? Helen of Troy? LEM Was she on the stage or sumpin? FANSHAW [chuckles] no, she was a king's wife who was abducted by another king and a great and glorious war was begun. LEM Ain't no war great and glorious. Not till everyone as been there's long dead. FANSHAW Oh. LEM How'd they end that war? FANSHAW [a bit embarrassed] They made a giant wooden horse. LEM [laughs] I think mebbe you gotta tell me this story later, when we ain't about to have all hell cut loose on us. [groans, getting up] SOUND RUSTLING OF CLOTHES, ETC. FANSHAW Don't--! LEM Ain't no choice here. Both them top fellers seem to lissen t'me. Much as doc's a good man, he don't have the touch. SOUND DOOR OPENS FANSHAW Speak of the devil! DOC Here now! What are you doing, Mister roberts? LEM I'm planning on facing them in full gear fer once. DOC You are not facing them at all... you know what's happening? LEM I gotta right good guess. Since the miners were a-bringing her here, I spect twas the loggers jumped em and done took her. DOC I think so. LEM Hitch up the cart. We're gonna mosey to the logging camp. FADE SOUND OUTSIDE LARS [commanding] Du! Kock! [You! "cook"] MRS. BEAMISH [snide] Ain't never understood one bloomin word out ye mouf, but vat sounds rigth filthy ye cheesehead! LARS Du kom hit för att laga mat för oss. Du är skyldig en skuld. [you came here to cook for us. You owe a debt.] MRS. BEAMISH Gah-on. Say somfing in normal talk. Ah dare ya. LARS [to Kjell] Tror du att hon förstår? [Do you think she understands?] ARN Hon låter lite arg. [She sounds a little angry.] FREDEK Jag tror att hon låter galen. [I think she sounds insane.] NELS Sure, it is like standing to the knees in a mire. EZRA Why's that, Mr. Nels? NELS You! Can you do something? EZRA What should I do? NELS Get that woman over here. The one that was calling out. EZRA Who? Oh! [laughs] That's no woman! That's Mr. Fanshaw. NELS Well, he sounds like one to me. Is there anything he can do? FADE DOC Brought the wagon round. Come on then, lemme give you a hand. LEM You kin carry my kit, if you would. DOC You need support-- LEM [definite] No. Gettin me to the door, that's right fine, but outside, I gotta put the fear o' god in them, best I can. And being carried round like a cripple sorta puts a bonnet on that. DOC I'll be right behind you, then. Just in case. SOUND FOOTSTEPS MRS. DOC [slightly defiant] I, on the other hand, could use all the support you care to give. DOC Irene? MRS. DOC Not from you, dear. Mr. Roberts, if you might give me your arm, sir? DOC Irene! MRS. DOC I've already got my hat on, husband. We might as well get moving. DOC What exactly do you think you are doing, woman? MRS. DOC [super sweet] Why, I'm accompanying my beloved husband and his patient on a little wagon ride. LEM [tries not to laugh] DOC I forbid it! MRS. DOC [sweetly] Oh, of course, dear! If you prefer, I can wait here at home, the home these silly men have already broken into - from both sides, I might add. Wait until someone decides that the easiest way to get this to end is perhaps to take me hostage, or threaten-- DOC [losing steam] Oh hush!! LEM The lady has a point, doc. Seein as I still think we gotta a fair chance of stoppin this without none getting hurt, it'ud likely be safer, ma'am, if you were to stay by us. MRS. DOC Good. Now take my arm, Mr. Roberts, for goodness sake! You're swaying like a sapling. FADE EZRA Mr. Fanshaw! [laughs] Nels says you sound like a lady. FANSHAW It is just my accent. The way I talk. EZRA You do talk funny. FANSHAW Can you go and ask Nels if his men understand a white flag of truce? EZRA What is that? FANSHAW When men - or even armies - want to talk rather than fight, they will come bearing a white flag. EZRA Where do they get a white flag? FANSHAW They just make one. Please. It is important that we know. FADE SOUND OUTSIDE SOUND SCUFFLE MINERS [Arguing] "More brass'n brains" "near as makes n'matter" " that's a threp in't steans" "caffelin' t' 'oil works, am I." SWEDES [arguing] SOUND FOOTSTEPS LEM [sigh] Shut up! SOUND STILL FIGHTING LEM Pardon me ma'am. Step aside if you please. SOUND HER STEPS SOUND GUNSHOT ALL [go quiet] SOUND SOMETHING DROPS Taste of the Beholder [DeK6] EPISODE 6 1_MOVING OUT LEM You miners. You... uh... manskers. Um. [slowly, with gestures] We go in cart to your-- OLY Mig? LEM Yes, your camp. You lead us. SCABBY BILL [slightly out of breath] Right. Nowt wait aught mair. Us'm goin - wi'thee, or nowt. LEM We's all a-goin. [to Mrs. Doc] You get on up in the wagon now, ma'am. MRS. DOC [a bit shaky] All right. DOC [quiet] Doesn't look like anyone is hurt too bad. LEM They's all still on their feet. OLY [slowly, trying to be understood] detta var inte min idé. Inte jag. Jag kommer att tala strängt till dem. [this was not my idea. Not me. I will speak sternly to them.] LEM You lead. [turns to Scabby Bill] You follow. Reckon? SCABBY BILL Reckon. FADE 2_GRADY1 SOUND SOMEONE RUNNING IN PANIC GRADY [gasping muttered mantra] Don't slow down, don't slow down. A log! Oh sweet Jesus! SOUND THUMP, SCRAMBLE, SLOW MOVEMENT SOUND BEHIND HIM, MEN MAN1 Keep heading downhill! MAN2 Brush too thick over there! This way! GRADY [barely there prayer] Pity me! [couple of deep breaths] [sound of exertion] SOUND RUNNING AGAIN FADE 3_AGREEING SOUND CART PLODDING DOC [quietly] That was a foolhardy thing you done back there, Irene. MRS. DOC I cannot disagree. DOC You should never've - what? MRS. DOC [sweet] I was merely agreeing with you, husband. LEM [quiet chuckle] DOC [trying to stay annoyed] But-but you-- [loses it, laughs] My mother always said you would be a handful. MRS. DOC I believe mine said something very similar. DOC About me? MRS. DOC [laughing] No, about me. LEM If I was a man to interfere, I might say you're a lucky feller. DOC I cannot disagree. LEM Lucky the lady is on your side, if you don't mind me saying so, ma'am. ALL [laugh] FADE 4_LOGGING CAMP FREDEK Många män kommer! [Many men are coming!] LARS Vi kommer inte ge upp! [We will not surrender!] FREDEK Detta är inte något att dö för! [This is not something to die for!] ARN Jag skulle hellre dö än att äta en annan måltid tillagad av dig. [I would rather die than eat another meal cooked by you.] LARS Jag ser Oly. [I see Oly.] ARN Han ser arg. [He looks angry.] FREDEK De måste ha vapen. [They must have guns.] NELS Nothing worse than to have to sit and listen to them babble. OLY [off, yelling] Alla ni! Stå vid sidan! [All of you! Stand aside!] NELS And cannot do anything when Oly tells them to calm down. LARS [yelling] Är de hotar dig? [Are they threatening you?] OLY [off, yelling, pissed off] Du är en idiot! Vi var överens. Då har du stört! Du står åt sidan! [You are an idiot! We were in accord. Then you interfered! You stand aside!] FADE 5_CHUCKIE JAMES Tha gormless bastard! Guns or nowt, us could take 'em! [Idiot. Even with the guns, we could win.] PIKEY And 'oo ist 'aveta send tha mam word o thy beefing. Appen I should say 'er son died of 'is own barm, or sweeten tha death wi' claims thee lost fight to a chuckie. [And I will have to write to your mother. What would you like me to tell her, that you died of being stupid, or that you lost a fight to a chicken?] TED [sigh] And us start sommat, it'll nae stop 'ere. [If we do start something, the fighting will not end here.] FITCH I dinna feel fer the fight. Yon stormcloud, 'im seems a fair measure. [I don't feel like fighting. That fellow - he seems fair.] PIKEY Cud gang fer a slurp missen. [This would be a good time for a drink.] FADE 6_GRADY2 SOUND RUNNING MAN1 and MAN2 [closer than before] [yelling "Just over that ridge!" "Get him!" "Yeller bastard!"] GRADY [gasping and ragged] Good god above, [gasp] please, [gasp] send me into a river. Anything. [gasp] Just to get me [gasp] get me away... FADE 7_CART SOUND HORSES. CART NOT MOVING. DOC [whispered] Irene, I prefer strongly that you remain in the cart. MRS. DOC As always, I defer to your wisdom, dear husband. DOC [rueful laugh] Hah. Good. SOUND HE CLIMBS DOWN MRS. DOC I'll also keep a close eye on the shotgun. DOC The what? LEM I'll leave my satchel here as well, if you please, ma'am. MRS. DOC Happy to be useful. [like speaking to kids] You two go on now and make peace. FADE 8_OLY KOMMER FREDEK Oly! De kommer! [Oly! They are coming!] OLY Var inte dum. De är redan här. [Do not be stupid. They are already here.] FREDEK Fler män! Bakom åsen! [More men! Behind the ridge!] NELS Sure I do not think those fellows are of these men. EZRA More fighting? FANSHAW And this must be Nels. NELS And you must be from England. FANSHAW Why, yes. Though I do not sound much like my "countrymen" down there. NELS Nay. You sound like most Britishers. FANSHAW I suppose I do. NELS Just like a woman. FANSHAW I do not! EZRA You do a bit. FANSHAW [grinding out, trying to change the subject] You said something about more men? NELS Sure, over the ridge. Quite a ways off. I can barely get close enough to see, but they are traveling fast, for men on foot. FANSHAW We'll have to keep an eye out for them, though I am quite certain that all the men I've seen - on either side - are here. EZRA Mister Fanshaw? NELS All of my men are here. Even those with a head full of porridge. FANSHAW That's a blessing anyway. EZRA Mister Fanshaw! FANSHAW I am so sorry, Ezra. I was lost in thought. EZRA You want I should go and look at the men a-coming? FANSHAW They sound like they're rather far off. EZRA I can go real far off. FANSHAW [interested] Really. Very well. You'll go and see how many there are? EZRA I'll find out everything for ya. FANSHAW I wonder just how far "real far" is. FADE 9_teh dam SOUND CROWD RUMBLE, BUT NO TALKING SOUND LEM'S SLOW FOOTSTEPS LEM Um, [to Oly] Dam? OLY Ta kvinnan här! [Bring the woman out here!] LARS [grumbling] Vi var bara försökte hjälpa [We were only trying to help] OLY Go! [Go!] NELS If they wanted to help so bad, sure, why did they never make the time for to learn some words? FANSHAW Always much easier to see mistakes when it is too late. NELS Ya. SOUND DOOR OPENS, LARS AND MRS. BEAMISH COME OUT FANSHAW This? This is the woman all the trouble has been over? She's ...hardly what I expected. LEM Ma'am. They's been quite a ruckus over you. BEAMISH Oh, Luvly. Anuvver what don't speak the Queen's English. LEM I guess I speak American, then. But I hazard you understand me fine. BEAMISH [begrudging] I kin mike yer out. LEM That's good. Now these fellers, they have some claim to you? NELS Sure, she owes us five years service. BEAMISH [grudgingly admitting] Aye... They do. LEM Five years. Legal. BEAMISH [annoyed sigh] Aye. DOC [whispered] How'd you get that? LEM [whispered] Guessed. Standard indenture. DOC Ah! BEAMISH [whining a bit] But I can't unnerstand a bleeding word outtav'em! FANSHAW I say, Nels, you paid for that? Under all that veiling, she sounds rather... old. NELS What do you expect in a cook? Sure we don't have to look at her while we eat. FANSHAW A cook! Good gad! LEM But you had no trouble doing the work they put you to? BEAMISH Good plain cooking. Even such as they musta liked it, for I dessay they never let a plate go cold. DOC Cooking? They're willing to fight over a cook? LEM I reckon with a wife like your good missus, you've never had to eat day-old burnt scratch. DOC Well... MRS. DOC [calling from off, excited] Husband? LEM Go on. DOC [walking off] Yes, dear? FADE 10_grady hides SOUND MEN SLOWLY SEARCHING SOUND BREATHING, IN A TIGHT SPACE GRADY [trying to quiet his breathing] EZRA That's a lot of men to send out fer one fella. You must be a bad man. GRADY [whispered] Someone up there, please help me! MAN1 I think I heard something! FADE 11_shares LEM [whispered, to fanshaw] Ask Nels the word for "share". FANSHAW You're thinking to split the baby again. LEM Amazing how many problems boil down to something that simple. DOC Lem? We - my wife and I - might have a congenial answer for all this fuss. LEM Do tell. DOC Well, Mrs. - uh - Beamish, is it? BEAMISH Beamish. Aye. DOC My good lady wife suggested I extend an invitation for you to stay with us. BEAMISH Where's 'at, then? DOC Our house. It's rather in the middle of all this. BEAMISH Won't say no to sleepin in proper 'ouse. Not them shanties. DOC [a bit slowly, trying to make it understandable to all] You stay our house-- SOUND [rumble of muttering on both sides] DOC Cook. Cook a lot. BEAMISH I dearly 'ope you're tryin'a talk t'them, cos I ain't that bleeding thick. DOC They are the ones who need to agree. BEAMISH Go'ahn then. DOC [to miners] You come. Eat. [to loggers] You. Eat. LEM [quiet] Eat? Nels? NELS [Eat] ata LEM Thankee. [up, to doc] "ata" DOC Oh? All right. You. Come to house. "ata". LARS [annoyed] Jag tror att han säger att hon ska laga för honom. [I think he is saying she will cook for him.] NELS Sure, they do not want to give her over to the doctor either. He has a wife to cook for him. OLY Nej, säger han vi äter, också. Tror jag. [No, he says we eat, also. I think.] FANSHAW No, no. He's trying to say that the woman will be in the middle, and both sides can come and eat in peace. No more fighting. NELS Tell them ["You eat too"] du äter för. FANSHAW Lem? Did you-- LEM Doo ah-ter fore. OLY Ya. Mycket bra. [Yes. very good] LEM And you all? PIKEY Nae more tae eat bab out Bill? [snort] I don't gi' a chuff where's hersen rest. [No more eating the shit Bill cooks? I don't care where she stays.] TED 'Appen 'at's a relief! [That's for sure!] JAMES Eh, by gum. SCABBY BILL Ere, now! PIKEY Tha noz thee's no' called Scabby fer Nowt. [You know they don't call you scabby for nothing.] LEM Good. DOC Nice to know that people can be peaceable, even-- SOUND GUNSHOTS, DISTANT LEM Damn! ALL [reactions! Gasps, expletives] "Hellfire!" "Wha's't faff?" "flipping 'eck!" EZRA Mister Fanshaw? I think they's heading this way. Taste of the Beholder [DeK6] EPISODE 7 MUSIC SCENE 1. AMB OUTSIDE LEM [urgent, but even voice] Doc, I fancy it's time you take the ladies back to that fine house of your'n. DOC But I can help-- LEM [more forceful] BY taking THEM to safety. If we's needin you atall, it's like to be after the battle. SOUND GUNSHOTS, DISTANT MRS. DOC [off, a bit worried] Husband? LEM Mrs. Beamish, you go on now with these good folk. We got some rough work ahead of us. MRS. BEAMISH Ain't never been one to run, but finking feedin th'lads come vict'ry's more my place. SOUND SHE WALKS TO WAGON DOC [quiet, but knowing it will do no good] You should come with us. LEM And hosses should lay eggs. [chuckles] I'll stay still as I can. But I'm the king pin yokin these fellers one side t'other. Go on now. [up] Ma'am, if you could hand me down my sack? I might find myself in need of a few more shells. MRS. DOC Here you go. [very concerned] You make sure and look after yourself, you hear? My husband put a lot of work into you. DOC [amused but still worried] You heard her - and you know how ornery she can be. LEM I reckon I do. DOC [confidential] You fire three shots in the air, all at once, and I'll be back lickety-split with the shotgun. LEM Preciate it. SOUND DOC WALKS OFF SCENE 2. LEM [slight groan] Quickly - You, Bill. You, Oly. SCABBY BILL Right. OLY Ja? SOUND SCRATCHING IN THE DIRT LEM [talking while drawing terrain and pointing at things] Sun. There. Hill. There. Ja? OLY Ja. Bäck. Ge. [stream. Give.] LEM Take it. SOUND MORE SCRATCHING SCABBY BILL Thass river? OLY Bäck. [stream] LEM Close enough I think. Bill, can y'all circle round here, over to the left, with yer fellas, and come up alongside? They got guns and you don't, so I suggest comin on 'em from hidin. SCABBY BILL Us'm? LEM Course, it ain't yer fight, but-- SCABBY BILL Nay problem, lad. Lads're pantin' fer a good donnybrook. [shrug] Canna beat on't Swedes, them ticks'll haveta play the Judy. LEM All righty then, sounds like yer all in. Go on. Get ye some stout branches and knock em down, but try not t'kill em. SCABBY BILL Why them tea party manners? LEM In case they ain't the villians here. SCABBY BILL Ah. Right. We're bahn. SOUND WALKS OFF SCABBY BILL [off, calling] Ayup lads! There'll be cracked pates afore sundown, I'll be bahn! LEM Now for the tricky one. OLY Du vill att vi ska åka på detta sätt. Runt den andra sidan. Och angrepp från bakhåll? [You want us to go this way. Around the other side. And attack from ambush?] NELS He says do you want our men to go around the other way and attack from ambush as well? LEM [startled laugh] Oly, old son, we'll get you tricked up with English talkin yet. OLY vad är det? [What is that?] LEM Later. After dust settles. NELS Tell him "senare" [Later] LEM Senare OLY Ja. Bakhåll? Ja? [Ambush] NELS [translating] Attack from behind. LEM Ya. Go on. OLY [going off] komma mäniskor! Dags att slå några huvuden! [come on men! Time to beat some heads!] LEM [heavy sigh, slight groan] FANSHAW Lem? LEM [quiet] I'm alright. I'm alright. Just tuckered out. Ain't nothin better for fellers like these, but to fight together 'gainst some other varmints. Think this will end it once and fer all. FANSHAW I certainly hope so. LONG MUSIC SCENE 3. AMB NIGHT, CAMPFIRE ON LEFT OLY [clearly storytelling] Vi reste snabbt och tyst. Då vi hörde dem. Arn gömde sig bakom ett träd. Lars var under en fallen stock. [We traveled fast and quiet. Then we heard them. Arn hid behind a tree. Lars was beneath a fallen log.] ARN Hah! Bra att vara kort, eh, Lars? [Hah! Good to be short, eh, Lars?] LARS Bah! SWEDES [general laughter] OLY Vi ser tre kommer! En lång en i en hatt och två andra. Gräslig. Cruel söker. De rör sig långsamt, letar efter något-- [We see three coming! A tall one in a hat and two others. Ugly. Cruel looking. They move slowly, looking for something--] MUSIC WIPE ACROSS THE SOUNDSCAPE SCENE 4. AMB CAMPFIRE ON RIGHT SCABBY BILL Nowt but three up't front, but us cud 'ear more clamberin in't lee. PIKEY [bragging] Like scratch hisself in't garden, I were oop on deadfall like bird in't nest. Thass nowt ne surer as none'll raise them eyen. [I'd crawled like snake up along a fallen trunk, like a bird in a nest. And no one ever looks up] SCABBY BILL Aye, lad. Ain't soul in t' world cud suss windy sot might drop out of clear blue ont' im's pate. [I'll give you that. No one expects a flatulant drunk to fall out of the sky on his head.] MINERS [general laughter] PIKEY [correcting him haughtily] Nay, nay. Windy sot wieldin' t' grandest thump 'im ever see'd. [A flatulant drunk with a great big stick, I remind you!] MINERS [more laughter] MUSIC WIPE SCENE 5. AMB CAMPFIRE ON LEFT OLY Att en - med skriande skratt - var upp i ett träd. Jag fruktade för dig som han tappade på toppen av. [That one - with the braying laugh - was up a tree. I feared for anyone he dropped atop of.] ARN Åtminstone var det inte oss! [At least it wasn't us!] SWEDES [general laughter] OLY Han vinkade till mig. Då pekade förbi männen. Sedan lyfte han två händer fingrar. Många män skulle komma! [He waved to me. Then pointed past the men. Then he raised two hands of fingers. Many men were coming!] FANSHAW It sounds like a fascinating story. I wish I could understand a word of it. NELS He was saying that the noisy fellow-- FANSHAW Aren't they all rather noisy? NELS [laughs] THAT one - got above. High up. Counted the men coming behind. Showed him fingers for the count. FANSHAW Accord without a single word. Lovely. MUSIC WIPE SCENE 6. AMB CAMPFIRE ON RIGHT FITCH Beyond tha' ken, Bill, our Pikey gives the wrist to yon tall tallow hair. [girlish noise] Ooooh! Tis in ma mind him's a sight too long wi'out a damp scuffle. [But what YOU didn't see, Bill, was Pikey making obscene hand gestures across to the tall blonde fellow. I think he's been alone too long.] SOUND SLIGHT SCUFFLE - FRIENDLY SMACK PIKEY Dinna fash. Tha'd be first choice, fitchy m'lad. Smack afore yows and kine. Past that, mayhaps Swede. Blondes ain't nivver turned ma top. [kiss kiss noise] [You'd be my first choice, Fitch, right before ewes and cows. I have never been fond of blondes.] FITCH [teasing] Ooh-ah. Get a good scrub on thee aught often, afore thee clack. [Bathe. Then we'll talk.] MINERS [general laughter] SCABBY BILL Right. 'oo's keeping a tally? [jokingly making a list] Needed f'r camp - butter, shot, tobacy, loose females. [Right. Someone make a list of things we need for the camp. Start with some loose women.] MINERS [hysterical laughter] MUSIC SCENE 7. AMB CAMPFIRE ON LEFT OLY De var fortfarande ute. Kanske för en person. Kanske för ett djur. Något som kunde dölja sig. Vi sprider vidare bakom dem, lugn och vaksam. [They were still looking. Maybe for a person. Maybe for an animal. Something that could hide itself. We spread further behind them, quiet and watchful.] LARS Jag var längst. När den sista passerade, jag slog ner honom snabbt. [hit noise] [I was furthest. When the last passed by, I hit him down quickly.] SWEDES [approving mumble] MUSIC WIPE SCENE 8. AMB CAMPFIRE ON RIGHT SOUND WAGON SLOWLY MOVING IN FROM A DISTANCE PIKEY Afore mine eyen, them axes circle up the jacksey, and I knew us'd ne'er let it be said us'd come up short in t' tally! [I saw them blonde fellers moving behind. I knew we'd never want to lag behind.] SCABBY BILL No. So... Pikey made t' shrill-- SOUND SHARP WHISTLE SCABBY BILL [reacts in pain] NOWT up ma lug! [angry sigh] Wi' a cry t' lads pounced! [Not in my ear! And we attacked] FITCH Like yoked set of dannys, us come right side, cack side! And them'us jiggered like clemmy shale. [Like a pair of hands, we came from right and left. They broke like lose rock.] MUSIC WIPE SCENE 9. AMB LEFT CAMPFIRE OLY Var och en föll. Slås ner av våra modiga händer. Eller våra vänner händer. [Every one fell. Struck down by our brave hands. Or our friends' hands. [raising his voice]] ALL GOOD! SCABBY BILL [off] I hears that! [yelling back] Ayup lads? ALL GOOD! SWEDES and MINERS [not very much in unison- just loud] ALL GOOD! DOC [off] Ho there! Sounds like it's safe to approach? MUSIC SCENE 10. AMB INSIDE SOUND [OUTSIDE] THE MEN YELLING AND LAUGHING FANSHAW Lem? LEM [rousing from half sleep] Yup? Sounds like peace at last. FANSHAW And the doctor just arrived. [chuckles] With a kettle of something hearty, and some lovely- LEM Biscuits? [chuckles] FANSHAW [chuckles too] He'll be in here in a moment, I'm sure. [beat] The men - both factions - were rather impressive. Possibly less impressive than the tales they're telling at the moment, but they did very well. LEM Who was it they's up against? FANSHAW Looks like outlaws. Chasing a fugitive. LEM And the feller they'us after? FANSHAW [sigh] He was already ... done for. Gone. LEM [sigh] The Doc's spare room is looking like heaven just about now. DOC [outside] Mister Roberts? LEM [a bit weaker] In here! LONG MUSIC SCENE 11. AMB DOC'S HOUSE DOC I will not hear of you leaving that bed for at least a week, Mister Roberts. MRS. DOC [from off] Don't you get it into your head that you'll be able to sweet-talk your way past me neither. LEM I got no plans to budge aught farther than the broth and biscuits require to reach my mouth. DOC Good. MUSIC SCENE 12. AMB DOC'S HOUSE LEM Alone? FANSHAW They're all in the kitchen, yes. From the smells, that Beamish woman is very nearly as accomplished in the kitchen as our lady hostess, despite her lack of - ahem - refinement. They have set the men to building a sort of cookhouse. Just an annex big enough for her to serve out of. The doctor's wife objected, you see, to having all these men troop through the house at mealtimes. LEM Cain't say that I blame her. Catch me up a bit? FANSHAW They say the way to man's heart is through his stomach - and we now have clear evidence this works for groups of men as well as it works on individuals. They've all become the best of chums. And those Swedish follows are learning English, bit by bit. LEM One more victory for-- FANSHAW Civilization? LEM [down] I was gonna say salvation. Had a might too much time to ponder my past while I been laid up here. FANSHAW I shan't pry, but you know I will gladly listen to anything you feel the need to unburden yourself of. LEM Thankee kindly, but my burden is my own. FANSHAW Well. When you are up to visting, We should make a trip to speak to the fellow who was being chased by the outlaws. LEM Where ARE they, anyway? FANSHAW Several of the men took them down a flatboat on the river to the next landing. Haven't made the return yet - I gather it takes a few days. LEM Mm. Good. FANSHAW But, you see... this fellow was ...killed a bit further out than I can reach. It's very frustrating. Ezra, though... LEM Oh, yup - this Ezra you been talking about? How come I ain't seen him, never? FANSHAW I don't know. He's a child. A spirit. Who prefers to think of himself an angel. I rather think he's been here quite a long time. And Lem... LEM Yup? FANSHAW I-I feel quite dreadful about this, but - you understand, I have been endeavoring to find some way to help him pass on. But there's this--- LEM Spit it out and let's see what color it is. FANSHAW Ezra can go just about anywhere within the entire valley. That is rather a long distance. He seems to have very few of the limitations that I find myself so hampered by. I don't understand it one bit, and I have this - notion - to try and figure out why. Before I help him find his way onward. LEM Guess it's a good thing I'm laid up, then, ain't it?
While recovering from his injuries, Lemuel Roberts (The Deadeye Kid) must try and make peace between two local factions - a group of Swedish loggers (please overlook our sincere attempt at translation) and a team of Yorkshire miners - neither of which speaks any English that Lem can understand... Written and Produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Lemuel Roberts /Deadeye Kid - J. Spyder Isaacson Clarence Fanshaw - J. Hoverson Doc - Russell Gold Mrs. Doc - Gwendolyn Gieseke-Woodard Ezra - Reynaud LeBoeuf Mrs. Beamish - Judith Moore The Yorkshire Miners: Scabby Bill: John Lingard Will Watt Stevie K. Farnaby Danar Hoverson Paul Green The Swedish Loggers: Oly - Lothar Tuppan Nels - Danar Hoverson Mark Olson Cary Ayers Bill Jones Reynaud Leboeuf Julie Hoverson Cover Design: Brett Coulstock Announcer: Glen "Ole Hoss" Hallstrom Opening theme: "The Wreck of Old '97" from public domain recording found on archive.org Any incidental music: Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound: Julie Hoverson No gunshots herald his approach. No trademark left behind him when he leaves. The Kid had his fill of notoriety in days gone by - as plenty of empty boots can surely testify. Some say he rides alone. That's the Deadeye Kid. ********************************************************************** Taste of the Beholder [DeK6] EPISODE 1 (from end of previous story) SOUND FADES IN AND OUT [Lem has been shot] COMMANDER Hold on, there, fellow. LEM [vague] all's well? COMMANDER We got em. LEM My pack? COMMANDER I'll set someone to finding it. FADE OUT DOCTOR [to Lem] Bite down on this. [slightly off, urgent, but not loud] He's lost a lot of blood! FADE OUT BOOTMAKER I'll have a new pair ready before he'll be walking anywhere on them. You sure I should even bother--? FADEOUT MRS. DOC Just a little bit of broth, mister. You need to get some o'yer strength back. SICKROOM LEM [annoyed moan] FANSHAW You're awake. LEM [quiet] Anyone--? FANSHAW Not close enough to hear - as long as you stay quiet. LEM Good. [groan] I been shot? FANSHAW At least twice, judging by the bandages. Once in the chest, once in the leg, I should say. I should have been watching. LEM [reassuring] Cain't leave you to do everythin. Scotty? FANSHAW When they returned with his body, I saw no sign of him. LEM Good. FANSHAW I sincerely hope so. [awkward pause, then stiffly] Should I ...go? LEM Go? go where? FANSHAW [covering] I - I mean, leave you in peace. To rest. I don't doubt you will still be needing a great deal of it. LEM [straining a bit] Did you see, did it go alla way through? FANSHAW I don't know, but you were very fortunate - or so the doctor declared. LEM [satisfied] Good. FANSHAW I'll leave you to your rest, then, shall I? LEM Go or stay, I ain't so wrung out I cain't tell you got sumpin on yer mind. FANSHAW Oh. LEM Is it that female ghost o'yours yer frettin over? FANSHAW [bracing breath] Yes. LEM [exasperated snort] Yer worried she said sumpin, izzat it? FANSHAW Yes. LEM [playing it up a bit] You furriners and the trifles that plague you. FANSHAW [shock] So she did--? LEM [shrug] Yup. So? FANSHAW [surprised] So? LEM You cain't be the first. FANSHAW First? LEM Nor the last, like enough. FANSHAW But it... doesn't... bother you? LEM Well, you don't do it no more. FANSHAW I... don't? LEM 'sides, plenty of little fellers wet up the bed right up til they'us in long pants. FANSHAW What? SOUND GUNSHOTS, DISTANT LEM [straining to get up] Oh hell. Where's my britches? FANSHAW Before you do yourself some harm trying to get up, I'll gather up my shame and go have a look. LEM [lies back with a groan] SOUND FANSHAW LEAVES SOUND ANOTHER GUNSHOT SOUND DOOR OPENS MRS. DOC Oh! You are awake. I thought I heard your voice! LEM I was just thinking out loud, ma'am - uh - you don't seem real worried? About the gunshots? MRS. DOC [unconcerned] Oh, that. My husband just had to run off a couple of unwanted patients. LEM [baffled] Ma'am? MRS. DOC Oh, my stars! You won't even remember! You were shot, and back in town, you were throwing five fits and comin all over feverish, so Mister Brand, that's my husband - [pride] Doctor Brand, that is - he brought you out here with us. LEM Out... here? MRS. DOC Doctor Brand is the only medical man for three counties! Leastways, the only one that doctors people. So we get around time to time, and much as he didn't want to move you, he also didn't want to leave you in anyone else's care, poorly as you were. So we brought you along, and the move seems to have done you right good. You slept peaceful ever since we got here. LEM Ah. You help me to remember to thank him for his concern, would you, ma'am? MRS. DOC [beaming] I'm sure he'll be pleased enough to hear that you're able to thank him. LEM And the gunshots--? MRS. DOC [rueful] Well, you see, the local fellows are having an ..."altercation", and Doctor Brand has refused to aid either side, even if they're near dying, until they patch it up. LEM Altercation? MRS. DOC I'm sure he'll tell you about that himself. You don't need any such concern right now. What you do need is a good solid cup of broth, and I'll be back in two shakes of a lamb's tail. LEM You're too kind. SOUND SHE BUSTLES OUT, DOOR SHUTS LEM [sigh] Yeah? FANSAW The good lady is correct. You really don't need this concern right now. LEM [annoyed] It'll fret me more knowin there's sumpin to be concerned about and not bein told what it tis. FANSAW [slight chuckle] It will, won't it? Very well, but you lie back down while I regale you. LEM [grunt, pause] Right, then. Go on with the regalin'. FANSAW Two men had a third, bleeding from a head wound, but ambulatory - um, up and walking. They were yelling at the doctor, but I couldn't make out anything. They didn't seem to be speaking-- SOUND DOOR OPENS MRS. DOC Here you go. Been reducing for three days - that'll put some strength back into you. LEM Smells right fine. But that's an awful small cup, ma'am, if you don't mind me sayin, for a pow'rful hunger like I got. MRS. DOC [tsks] First we see if you can keep it down, Mister... [uncertain] oh.... LEM Roberts. MRS. DOC Roberts. Of course. I'm such a scatterbrain. LEM Cain't take offense til we're properly introduced, nohow, ma'am. MRS. DOC You're too kind. DOC [calling, off] Irene? Missus? MRS. DOC Ah, looks like the doctor's got everything handled. FANSHAW The gunshots were all on the doctor's side, I might add. MRS. DOC [up, sweetly] I'm in the back bedroom! [back to Lem] Now you sip a bit, if it's not yet too hot. LEM [sips] Mm. A mite. But I can use some warming. SOUND FOOTSTEPS COME IN DOC Ah! Well, this is just the sort of good news I needed. [to wife] I've been having more trouble with those fellows. MRS. DOC They don't mean no harm! DOC To us, no. To each other, though...! LEM What's this trouble yer havin', doc? DOC Nothing you need worry on. Not yet, leastways. LEM But I can-- DOC Tomorrow. If you're still improving, I'll tell you everything over breakfast. For now, you need yer rest. LEM Can we speak, man to man, sir? MRS. DOC Goodness, I think I'd best go and check on the biscuits. DOC You do that. SOUND SHE LEAVES, DOOR SHUTS DOC She does make some fair biscuits. [teasing] And she doesn't listen in. FANSHAW Should I leave? LEM No. [smooth] I reckon a doctor's wife should oughtta be used to checking on her biscuits. DOC [laughs] You seem to be doing pretty well, for a man shot and come through fever. That's excellent. You keep on with that broth, though. Ain't out of the woods jest yet. LEM It's the fever I wanna ask about. Your good wife let slip that I was a mite... FANSHAW Garralous? LEM hmph. ...rambly? DOC You kept going on about hearing folks talking to you, even in an empty room. LEM "Folks." Ah. DOC Funny thing is, you even named them from time to time, and I swear not a one of them was someone who coulda been there. LEM [careful] Whyzzat? DOC The one or two I recognized your naming of - well, they're ... "passed on". LEM I - I musta heard the names somewhere. DOC Can I speak frankly with you, sir? And you let me know if this is the least bit upsetting to your digestion, you hear? LEM Ayup. DOC Well, then. I'm purt near sure I know why you were calling out to dead folks. LEM You...do? DOC Seen it before - more'n once, even. FANSHAW Really? DOC You ain't alone, son. LEM [unsure] I'm... not? DOC Many's the fellow standing at death's door - and you were right close there for a while - that hears spirits try and call him through. LEM Ahhh. FANSHAW Really, they were being rather annoying. LEM [slight snort] Did I ... say anything that might be important? DOC I didn't hear, but I can ask my wife. She sat in the wagon with you when we made the trip - she told you we'd moved you? LEM She mentioned that you didn't feel right leaving me behind. DOC The trip seems to have done you good, too. Fever broke while we were on route. Quieted you right down. FANSHAW And there are less spirits here than in town. At least not around the house. None to harass you. LEM And where are we now, then? DOC I should really call a halt to all this inquiry, and let you sleep. LEM I promise I won't ask one more thing, if'n you'll kindly tell me where I am. DOC We're ten miles and a county line away from where we were. Near the town of Silt Creek. LEM Miners? DOC [smiling] Now now, you promised no more questions. Can you finish the last of that? LEM [slurps the broth down] DOC Good. If you're still awake in an hour, I'll see that you get some more. But do try and sleep. SOUND LEAVES THE ROOM FANSHAW They seem a nice couple. LEM Tell me more about what was going on out there. FANSHAW Lem, You're hardly in any condition-- LEM I'm gonna be gettin enough coddlin from the likes of them. Stop actin like an old woman and-- FANSHAW Very well. When I went out there, the three men were standing on the road leading up to the house. The doctor had a shotgun aimed at them. They were saying something, but I couldn't make it out-- LEM Were they strapped? FANSHAW I saw no guns, but they-- SOUND TAP, SCRATCH AT THE WINDOW FANSHAW I'll see. [pause] I'm not certain, but I think it's one of them! LEM [hushed] How many out there? FANSHAW Two. They're trying to get the window open! SOUND CREAK, RUSTLE OF BEDCLOTHES LEM [groan as he gets up] Where the devil are my guns? END EPISODE 2 SOUND FABRIC BEING SHOVED AROUND LEM [quiet] Dammit! FANSHAW Lem, they are trying to leever open the window. If there ever was a time to call for the doctor and his shotgun, this would be it! LEM I don't-- SOUND CREAK, CRACK OF WOOD LEM Ah hell. [up] Doc! Bring your gun! Doc? SOUND SOMETHING HEAVY DROPS OUTSIDE SOUND GLASS BREAKS OLY [You got it?] [du fick den?] SVEN [I got it. Quick, get inside!] [Jag har det. Snabbt, gå in.] LEM What the hell kinda talk is that? FANSHAW Something Nordic, perhaps? I am hardly an expert! LEM And where's the Doc? FANSHAW That I can check on. SOUND THUMP AS MAN CLAMBERS INTO THE ROOM LEM Stop right there! OLY [keep quiet and do not move!] [hålla tyst och inte röra mig!] SVEN [outside] [is everything all right?] [Är allt okej?] OLY [Someone is in here. I can handle it.] [Någon här inne. Jag kan hantera det.] MRS. DOC [off - scream, more surprise than fear/pain] LEM Dammit! Where's my blasted guns? OLY [Hold your tongue!] [håll din tunga] SOUND FANSHAW COMES IN FANSHAW [agitated] Lem, they have broken in from the front as well, and are holding the lady. The Doctor has given up his weapon. OLY [barks orders to those outside] [go around front. Leave Borr and Fredek to watch.] [går runt framsidan. Lämna Borr och Fredek att titta på.] LEM [side of mouth] What they threatenin' to do? FANSHAW I don't know... but I don't think they do either. OLY [shut up!] [Håll käften!] FANSHAW He's gesturing for you to remain quiet. If necessary, it's one rap for yes, two for no, agreed? SOUND ONE QUIET RAP SVEN [outside, question] [you want the axe?] [Vill du ha yxan?] OLY [annoyed] [go around and come in through the front!] [gå runt och komma in genom fronten!] FANSHAW I say Lem, I should like to go back and make sure there's no-- SOUND ONE RAP FANSHAW Right, then. SOUND FANSHAW EXITS OLY [Get up now and come with me] [Stig upp nu, och kom med mig.] LEM [slowly] I don't understand. OLY [slowly] [YOU get up and come with me] [Du får upp och komma med mig] LEM Come with? I been shot. Weak. Cain't walk. OLY [shouting] [Get up!] [Upp med dig!] LEM [muttered, resigned] All right then. SOUND BEDCLOTHES RUSTLE, SLOW FOOTSTEP, COLLAPSE TO THE FLOOR LEM [moans] Dammit. FADE MRS. DOC [weeping] DOC Let me go to my wife! BJORN [angry words] [just stay right there. No fast moves!] [Stanna där. Inga snabba rörelser!] DOC [trying to be calm, but speaking from across the room] Lydia, be brave. We'll get this all sorted out. BJORN [warning noise] FANSHAW At least there's nothing unseemly going on. That would simply be too much. If only Lem had his guns. There's no more that six of them, large as they are. And not one seems to have a firearm. OLY [Someone come and carry this fool.] [Någon kom och bära denna idiot.] AKE [question] [Should I go?] [Ska jag gå?] BJORN [go!] [Go!] SOUND ARNOT RUNS OFF DOWN THE HALL. BJORN [barks orders] [tie them up!] [Binned upp dem!] SOUND CHAIRS PULLED OVER, CREAK OF ROPES MRS. DOC [gaspy shriek] DOC There ain't no call for this! How dare you lay hands on a lady! BJORN Shh! FANSHAW Well. That anyone can understand. FADE LEM [muttered] I never thought Swedes were this ornery. Only ones I ever met were right peaceable. FANSHAW I think it's - well, it isn't "all right", but I do think they're only doing this to get help. LEM eh? FANSHAW The loudest one out front was shoving the doctor at a wounded man. SOUND AKE WALKS IN OLY [help me move him] [Hjälp mig att flytta honom!] OLY and AKE [Grunts as they move Lem] LEM [sharp hiss, trying not to cry out from pain] Fanshaw Be prepared. They have the doctor's lady tied to a chair, to enforce his aid. Lem Damn. AKE [laughs] [he knows one word!] [Han vet ett ord!] OLY [shush] [tyst] FADE Doc [speaking looud and slow] stitches. He needs stitches. I will have to sew that gash on his head. SWEDES [muttering] Doc [normal speed] untie my hands and I'll show you, you blasted idjets! Mrs. Doc [calmer, but a little hoarse from cying] Too bad we lost Nels last month. SVEN Nels? Doc If Nels weren't dead, everything would be easier. SVEN [angry] [Vad är det du säger om Nels?] Doc Nels. Yes. He was a good man. SOUND MEN SHUFFLING IN CARRYING LEM Lem [wincing in pain] Who's this Nels? Sven [angry] [You shut up about Nels!] [Du hålla käften om Nels!] OLY [Be quiet. If nels was here, there would be no problem. You know that.] [Var tyst. Om kanaler var här, skulle det inte vara något problem. Du vet att.] FANSHAW [speculative] Sounds like Nels is ...dead? Hmm. LEM [quiet] Go on then. SOUND FANSHAW LEAVES SOUND SETTING LEM DOWN IN CHAIR AKE [Should we tie him up?] [ska vi binda upp honom?] OLY [He cannot even stand. Leave him.] [Han kan inte ens stå. Lämna honom.] FADE SOUND OUTSIDE NOISES FANSHAW Nels? I say, is there a Nels around? FITCH [whispered, urgent] Shut tha gob! [shut your mouth] FANSHAW Heavens! Hello? FITCH [whispered, urgent] Gi o'er screetin'! [stop talking] FANSHAW Are you addressing me? FITCH [whispered, urgent] They'ull suss us're laikin about. Whilst us'm left bugger-all, and all that. {they'll figure out we're out here, leaving us with nothing} SCABBY BILL Pikey's off his head drownt, in't him? [pikey's drunk] PIKEY [drunken chortle] FANSHAW That's a relief - of a sort. Rather than a dead swede, I find a party of my own countrymen - of a sort - encroaching on an already sticky situation. Bloody hell. [sigh] I'd best relay this. FADE DOC I can't do him any good without my bag. [louder, and gesturing] Bag! OLY [thinking] Bag. Ja. Mrs. Doc Maybe they understand needle and thread. Show them. FANSHAW Lem, just listen. I've not found Nels, but felt I had to come back and inform you that there are men approaching in a sort of ambush formation outside. LEM Hmm? FANSHAW Not more of the Swedes - I suspect these are the fellows who the alteraction is with - or against. At any rate, they speak English - of a sort - so they won't be so hard to deal with, assuming that they don't simply stage an attack and kill everyone. LEM Cheery. FANSHAW And my apologies for not thinking of this before-- LEM [impatient sigh] FANSHAW But I did see where the doctor placed your guns and other belongings - they are in the chest at the foot of the bed you awoke in. LEM Hmph. DOC [slowly and loudly] You - look through my bag! You see? Noooo weapons. Give bag, let me help your friend. LEM [quickly] Doc, I think I hear some men outside. OLY [Hell! Nels always had bad timing!] [Helvete! Nels hade alltid dålig timing!] SVEN [Do not talk about Nels that way!] [Prata inte om Nels det sättet!] Mrs. Doc Nels? [slowly, but nicely] Nels was a good man. SVEN [good man] God Manniska. Ya. OLY [Hmph. give the doctor his bag.] [ge läkaren sin väska.] FADE FITCH Red, tha tike Jimmy and Sike, and skeg ap gate. Keep Pikey downwind, me - guff alone'd make a dozey twonk. [red, you take jimmy and sike and look out front. I'll keep pikey downwind. His farts alone would make you stupid.] PIKEY [drunken laugh] FANSHAW I shall have to leave them to their machinations while I find this Nels. [quiet] Please god I shall find him. [up] Nels? Nels! PIKEY Tha 'ear owt? [you hear anything?] FITCH Oyl and shoon. [Hole and shoes - shut your mouth and walk] FADE SOUND SCISSORS SNIP DOC [professional brisk] That needs to stay clean, which means-- MRS. DOC Dear? DOC [heavy sigh] Right. [back to loud and slow] Clean. Wash. Alcohol. Whiskey? SWEDES [approving noises] ya ya. Whiskey. DOC [brisk] I have no idea if they understand a word. LEM That last word I'd say they did. Mrs. Doc They're watching you real close. They might be getting some of this. At least some of our words are kind of similar. "Help", for instance. OLY [Help? Help what?] [Hjalp? Hjalp vad?] MRS. DOC It's almost like he understood me. LEM I wouldn't go thinkin' these fellers is fools. They don't even seem to mind us talkin, now that the doc's on with his business. DOC You think they'll leave now? LEM So this feller you were talkin about - the one who had some English - do I take it he's deceased? DOC [agreeing] Mm-hm. Hatchet flew off the handle, caught him in the side of the head. It weren't quick, and it weren't pretty, and there weren't a durn thing I coulda done. LEM So long as they're leavin us to talk amonst ourselves, doc, you were sayin there's some sort of dustup in this here valley? DOC These fellers - loggers, they are - have some issue with the miners down at the other end of the valley. They been getting along just fine for a donkey's years, and all of a sudden I ride in this trip to find them at odds and whaling on each other every chance they get. MRS. DOC Perhaps it is merely a misundertanding? With Ne- [catches herself] With their one translator passed on, could this all be a terrible mistake? LEM Might could be. These miners, they speak English? Not chineee or sumpin? DOC English they are, but kind of funny til you get used to it. LEM Then I think they's the ones a-creepin up on the house. I heered just a snatch of voices a while back, and it certain sure weren't Swedes. MRS. DOC What do we do? LEM I doubt me you're in any danger, missus, any more than you would be from these fellers. Them out there probably want the doc's help too. MRS. DOC Even after he sent everyone packing this afternoon? LEM Even more so. But they's like to be some fightin once you get'em all in one place. MRS. DOC Oh no! DOC If only these fellers would let me speak to them outside. LEM I'm not sure as they've even noticed-- OLY [hey! Someone's outside!] [hey! Någon utanför!] AKE [I hear them!] [Jag hör dem!] LEM Never mind. SVEN [do not let them come in!] [Låt dem inte komma in!] FADE FANSHAW [sigh] This is about as far as I can go. I don't know quite where the logger's camp might be‑‑ EZRA Hello. FANSHAW Hel-lo? EZRA Will you play with me? FANSHAW Oh, dear. [end] EPISODE 3 1_EZRA EZRA [child] What's your name? FANSHAW [dread] Fanshaw. EZRA That's a funny sort of name. FANSHAW I expect so. And yours? EZRA Ezra. Ezra Peacote. FANSHAW Ezra. Can you point me to the logger's encampment? EZRA Sure I can! You go on down this road a piece, then watch fer where all the trees is gone. FANSHAW I'm afraid this is as far as I can go, just at the moment. Can you go to the logging camp? EZRA I go there all the time to watch them cut down the trees. I'm gonna cut down trees when I grow up. FANSHAW [sorrowful] Oh. I see. FADE 2_barricade SOUND SHIFTING FURNITURE OLY [block that window! Put out the lamp!] [block som fönster! Släck lampan!] SVEN [yes! PUSH!] [Ja! Tryck!] SWEDES [GRUNTS as they shove furniture] DOC Stop all this! Let me talk to them! AKE [What if they come in the back?] [Tänk om de kommer i bakvägen?] Mrs. Doc Oh, please don't let them tear up my house, husband! That china cabinet was my mother's! DOC I'll watch the entire house burn to cinders if it means keeping you safe, Irene. LEM [muttered to self] All I'm watchin is a passel o' people payin no mind to the ailin' feller in the corner. [chuckles] It's a wonder how often it helps to seem a mite more poorly than y'really are. FADE 3_angel FANSHAW Ezra, you and I need to have a long talk, but that will have to wait. There's some people in danger, and we are the only ones who can help them. EZRA Helping is what I'm here fer. Not that I had much chance, yet. I'm an angel, you know. FANSHAW A - what? EZRA You do know what an angel is, dontcha? FANSHAW Oh, of course, I've just... I've never seen one. EZRA Mama always said that all young'uns who dies of the consumption come up angels. FANSHAW [sigh of relief] So you know that you passed on? EZRA Yessir. But don't sound so sad - it's all right. I don't cough no more. FANSHAW You shall have to tell me more about your mama - but first we must help, yes? FADE 4_irons SOUND DOOR CREAKS OPEN SOUND SLOW CAREFUL FOOTSTEPS [voices from back in the front room] OLY [yelling to them outside] [we know you are there! Stand up and be counted!] [vi vet att du är där! Stå upp och räknas] DOC [also yelling] They have my shotgun! Stay clear! MRS. DOC Please, all of you, don't hurt anyone. We must be able to work this out! SOUND DOOR EASES SHUT LEM [sigh of relief] Plumb clear ain't none of these fellers got much of a head fer fightin, or they'd have a man back here in case of-- PIKEY [slurred, off] Eyup! Naught but oiyl! As ah allus sez - let winder open, best as well put parkin in yune - an ahl tell thi that fer nowt. [hey - nothing but a hole! As I always say, leave the window open, might as well bake a cake [and invite people in], and I'll tell you that for free] LEM [hushed but urgent] Dammit! SOUND THUMPS AS HE CRAWLS, THEN TRUNK OPENS SOUND NOISES OF CLIMBING FROM OUTSIDE SOUND SEARCHING THE TRUNK LEM [searching for his guns] Where are they? Dammit! FADE 5_get nels EZRA Nels? I'll go and ask. There's a couple of fellers at the logging camp, but I ain't never talked to none of them. They talk funny. FANSHAW If he's there, Nels will be the one who CAN speak some English. EZRA I'm a-going. [slight pause] Say, Mr. Fanshaw, do you think this might could earn me my wings? I shore would love to be able to fly away and watch over my mama instead. FANSHAW [bright] I don't know, truly, but I suspect good deeds will always stand you in good stead. You go on, now. [pause] [small sob] FADE 6_put em up SOUND THUMP - THEY'RE IN THE ROOM. SCABBY BILL Bleeding muttonheads, innit? Leaving the drawbridge down and draining the moat fer us. PIKEY Inno moat. [laughs, then smothers it] An thou clap clack on me gone khalied. [And you talk about me being drunk] SCABBY BILL Shu'up. PIKEY SHHHHHHHhhhhhh. [sort of damp and spitty] SCABBY BILL [dry] Thanks, now I dinna need no washup. OLY [off] [Who the devil is watching the back?] [Vem fan tittar på baksidan?] AKE [off] [I thought bjorn was!] [Jag tyckte det var Björn] BJORN [off] [Ake was supposed to--] [Åke var tänkt att titta på] OLY [furious growl] [Get back there!] [Komma tillbaka dit!] SOUND FEET APPROACH SCABBY BILL Get set to swing that crow, and be chary you don't smite my crown. PIKEY Nowt missed owt threp yet. [never missed a smack yet] SOUND DOORKNOB TURNS SCABBY BILL Shh! SOUND DOOR OPENS PIKEY [loud attack] Right! SOUND HAMMERS CLICK, TWO GUNS LEM All y'all hold it right there. [up] GUN, savvy? PIKEY What? LEM Drop em. SOUND CROWBAR DROPS TO GROUND, SOMETHING WOOD TOO SCABBY BILL What gate of hell spewed you forth? LEM No place so trick. You should oughtta check the corners and the shadows when yer breakin inter a body's home. AKE [slightly off] Gun? LEM Yes, gun! SOUND SOMETHING DROPS IN THE HALL PIKEY Now, lad, us'n't doin nowt-- SCABBY BILL You have to understand the tragic poetry of this moment. You'd laugh if you had the whole picture there afore ye. LEM You two stay right'chere. SOUND SLIGHT STEP LEM [yelling to the swedes, slow] gun. Now you, "mansker"-- AKE [me?] [mig?] LEM Yeah - you go and unbind the good doctor and his wife. BJORN [he cannot shoot all of us.] [han kan inte skjuta oss alla] AKE [He can shoot one. And it can be you, idiot.] [Han kan skjuta en. Och det kan vara du, idiot.] LEM Idiot. Gotcha. Idjit, Gun and damm. And maybe mansker. Never thought I'd be learning no other lingo at my age. FADE 7_NELS EZRA You just waiting fer me? FANSHAW I thought it would be helpful if you could locate me easily. EZRA I kin find anything round here. I found yer Mr. Nels. He can't come no closer than over yonder, though. FANSHAW [calling] Nels? NELS Who is this asking? Sure, you're not the little boy. EZRA [muttered] I'm an angel. FANSHAW [up] We need help with talking to your men. Something has upset them and no one can speak to one another. NELS Sure, it is a row about the woman, is it not? FANSHAW A woman? The doctor's wife? NELS Nah! The one we bought fair and square - paid her passage and her indebted for five years, and them rascals up and run off with her. FANSHAW [resigned mutter] All this over a woman. And people wonder why a mustache is so comfortable. EZRA You got a lovely set of whiskers there, you do. FANSHAW Thank you. It helps a great deal to never have to worry about grooming them. NELS Sure, you bring us back the woman, there might be peace again. EZRA Is she their mother? FANSHAW I rather doubt it. But women are good at... other things too. EZRA You said a mouthful there, you did, sir. FANSHAW Please, just call me Fanshaw. EZRA All right Mr. Fanshaw. FANSHAW If you must. EZRA Huh? FANSHAW [UP] Nels, we need help speaking to your men. Are you willing to help, if I give you my word that we are going to do our best to clear this up? NELS [snort of derision] Sure, a bucket of dead men cannot float. EZRA That's just silly. FANSHAW I think that rather lost something in the translation. FADE 8_palaver SOUND ANGRY NOISES FROM BOTH SIDES LEM [very quiet] Talk to me, Fanshaw. [up a bit] Ain't much we can do while no one parlays the lingo. DOC I've always purposed to send away for a book of phrases, but Nels was always on hand. MRS. DOC Perhaps we could draw some pictures? DOC That's a capital idea! Mrs. Doc I have that slate we set aside ...[trails off with a slight sniffle. NOTE - she has things for when they have children, but she's never had any] ... I'll fetch it, then, shall I? SOUND SHE RUSHES OFF SCABBY BILL Us got more lads backside. Be reasonable and leave us go. LEM I got two guns, and the doc's got at least two barrels of buck, before we need to be reasonable about nothin. Stay shut. FANSHAW ENTERS FANSHAW Lem, we have a problem. LEM [laughs derisively] FANSHAW Nels IS present at the loggers camp, but cannot approach this place. I can get to within shouting distance, but it's going to be a bit of a slow process if I'm dashing back and forth for translations each time - not to mention any mispronunciations I might make along the way. SOUND MRS. DOC RETURNS MRS. DOC Here we go. I even have some chalk. Now. [bravely] You seem to be the leader here-- DOC Be careful, dear. MRS. DOC He's no more a danger with you watching him, husband. [to OLY] You... draw ... problem. OLY [quizzical] Problem? [definite, "getting it"] Problem! Ja! SOUND DRAWING ON SLATE MRS. DOC [satisfied] See? SCABBY BILL Prob'ly just drawin somethin rude. SOUND DRAWING FINISHES OLY ["Finished"] Fardig. [forceful, indicating - "woman"] Dam. SOUND TAPS THE SLATE PIKEY As I allus say. DOC I'll ask you not to use such language-- LEM No, I think he means dam, like a mare. Look at what he's drawn. DOC A woman? Oh, that sort of dam! OLY Ya. Dam. FANSHAW Damn! Lem, Nels said something about this all beginning with a woman. LEM Damn. [gasp, up] Pardon me, ma'am. [musing] We really need to get a mite closer to the loggin camp. END EPISODE 4 FANSHAW I've been thrown for a bit of a loop, or I would have mentioned the presence of a female at the heart of this matter-- LEM [riled] Will someone just come to the point and tell me what's a-going on? What is this about a woman? FANSHAW Nels said that he and his had -ahem- brought her here, and those fellows apparently absconded with her. PIKEY What woman? Us dunno nowt about no woman. FITCH Put wood in't clacks. [shut up] LEM You certain sure they's speakin normal English? Sounds downright wrong. DOC You get used to it. FANSHAW I assume they are come from one of the large mining areas back home in blighty. Perhaps Lancashire or Yorkshire. LEM York-sure? PIKEY Aye! Tykes, us'm. FITCH Shh! LEM That sounds like an ayup. OLY [This has to get us something. give us the woman] Detta är att få oss något framåt. ge oss damen. LEM There's that dam again. [up] If you're telling me you got no woman-- FITCH Got nowt. LEM Then let's all jest mosey down t'yer camp and have a rekky. [thinks] See what we find. SCABBY BILL Nae, sir, cannot. LEM Whay's that? SCABBY BILL um.... Ty-foy. DOC Typhoid? Horsefeathers! Sides, cain't catch typhoid from a looksee. Get up. PIKEY Shant. OLY [growl] Son till en hund! [Son of a dog!] FITCH Gormless bastard - tha'll be right skittled! AKE Låt mig slå honom! [Let me hit him!] SWEDES and TYKES [general angry grumbles] MRS. DOC Wait! Wait, all of you! SWEDES and TYKES [all shut up with gasps] MRS. DOC You! Sit! [noise for emphasis as she gestures] SOUND SHIFTING, THUMPING, TYKESIDE MRS. DOC Now you! Go on! SOUND SHIFTING THUMPING, SWEDE-SIDE. FANSHAW Clearly, some things are quite comprehensible, no matter what tongue you speak. They do say women are a civilizing influence and are bound to tame the west. LEM [slight snort of laughter] FANSHAW This show of respect certainly gives me some hope regarding the treatment of this mystery woman, as well. LEM [deep breath and sigh] Now, fellers. Let's take it one more time from the saddle blanket up. FADE SOUND OUTSIDE, FIRE NEARBY SOUND BAG SET DOWN, RUSTLE BEACHUM [crotchety old hag] Wazzatcher got vere? Ye call vem leeks? TED Best t'be had. Yon t'were parky summer. [best to be had. It was a cold summer] BEACHUM Hmm. Right, leave em on block. SOUND RUNNING FEET COME IN JAMES [breathless from off] Eyup! TED Eyup? Why'rt thee so sharp? [hello? What's wrong?] JAMES Maister Finch an't lads! They'm gripped! [Finch and the guys! They've been grabbed] TED Thas doolally, thee! [you're crazy!] JAMES Nay! us were without't house; Fitch went in wi Scabby Bill, Pikey-- [no! We were at the house, and they went in--] TED [snort] All save thee? Get on. [everyone but you? Nonsense!] JAMES Shouts! And vices. Them logmen. But else ain mair. I'm thought as that's black tidins, me, so I have a squint, and them're all sat like bairns in skoil, with old scratch hisself stood about in catflap johnnies, wavin a pair of irons and fit to beat seven sorts of shite out of 'em. [Shouts! And voices! Those loggers. But that's not all. I figured that sounded bad, so I peeked in, and they were all sitting like kids in school, with the devil standing over them in longjohns, waving a pair of guns and ready to beat the crap out of them] TED [decisive, grim] Roust old Git. Say tis knockin up time. [go wake up Old git. Tell him to get everyone moving.] FADE SOUND EATING, SPOON THROWN DOWN LARS [disgusted noise] [this tastes terrible.] [Det här smakar hemskt.] ARN [They better be getting her back. You cook very badly.] [De bättre att få henne tillbaka. Du tillagar mycket dåligt.] LARS [What do you expect?] [Vad förväntar du dig?] KJELL [Quiet down! It will not kill you.] [Tysta ner! Det kommer inte döda dig.] SOUND DOOR SLAMS OPEN FREDEK [out of breath] [Come quickly! Something has happened!] [Kom snabbt! Någonting har hänt!] SWEDES [Excited responses - please all record the following, I will mix] [my god!] Herregud! [What happened?!] Vad hände? [Where is Oly?] Var är Oly? [Let's get em!] Låt oss få dem! SOUND CLATTER OF DISHES, BENCHES SCRAPE FADE LEM Don't try and buffalo me, lads. I know you all are speakin some kinda English, and YOU, SCABBY BILL Me? LEM Ayup. I heerd you. You talk purt near normal. Normal fer Englanders leastways. FANSHAW Oh, thank you VERY much. SCABBY BILL [deep over the top thick accent] Nae, Maister. [quoting a song] Wear 'as tha-bin since ah saw thee, On Il-kley Moor bar-ta--at? Wear 'as tha-bin since ah saw thee? Wear 'as tha-bin since ah saw thee? LEM Cut that out. This ain't no game, feller. Lessen you're hankerin to see a mighty dustup, I truly suggest you take off the feathers and help me untie this knot y'all've wound. SCABBY BILL [considering] Hmm. PIKEY Wazzat? Knots 'n feathers? SCABBY BILL Nay mitherin, lad. [no worrying, lad.] [up, clearer] What thee rightly asking, there, "fellow"? DOC While yer jawin, Mr. Roberts, Why don't you have a seat? Never saw a man could sway like 'at, while his hands was set in granite. LEM Sore as it is to own up to weakness, I think a chair would be right fine right about now. SOUND CHAIR SCRAPE LEM [sighs as he sits] EZRA [distant] Mr. Fanshaw? FANSHAW I am summoned. You seem to be handling things. LEM [quiet] uh-huh. MRS. DOC If yer all set on hospitality, perhaps these gentlemen will let me set some water on to heat? PIKEY Wha? SCABBY BILL Lass says tea mayhap. PIKEY Ta! MRS. DOC [slowly, with sound effects, to the Swedes] I heat water [glug glug] to drink [slurp] warm. OLY [quizzical] ya? MRS. DOC Well. I'll just be in the kitchen, then. SOUND WALKS OUT LEM Checkin' her biscuits. DOC [chuckles] FADE SOUND OUTSIDE EZRA Mr. Fanshaw! There's folks coming up on you. FANSHAW From where? EZRA There! FANSHAW The loggers? EZRA And there! FANSHAW Oh, blast. FADE DOC [whispered] Mr. Roberts, tea's all well and good, but fer really makin peace, I cain't fault whiskey. LEM [undertone] Save it fer after. Leave 'em sober til they agree. [up] You, what's yer name, anyway? SCABBY BILL Bill. LEM No dancin now - tell me about this woman. SCABBY BILL [sigh] T'owd lass. Nae laikin'. [clears his throat] She weren't happy wit' them tree trunks. Nowt speak proper, now t'one has gone. LEM What's her name? SCABBY BILL Mrs. Beamish. LEM Mrs.? Doc? DOC I ain't never seen her. SCABBY BILL Widder. LEM Ayeah. So Missus Beamish is from England, like you fellers? SCABBY BILL Nae, London, her'm. SOUND FANSHAW ENTERS FANSHAW [breathless] Lem! More are on their way, both sides. LEM But she talks like you. SCABBY BILL [snort of laughter] Nay! She've an accent. FANSHAW [surprised laugh] LEM But you-- [take a breath to speak, but is intrupted] SCABBY BILL But mair like than nowt like. Can cal [rhymes with pal] six of seven, as may be. Talk. FANSHAW [warning] Lem, I know it's a bad time-- LEM So she favors y'all, cuz she kin talk to you? SCABBY BILL Aye. OLY [Did they say what they did?] LEM [slow] I'm asking. [muttred] Dunno what's'a gonna happen when I haveta explain. FANSHAW Lem, I'll come back and let you know when they are close enough to be a danger. LEM That's right fine. FADE SOUND Moving through underbrush KJELL Det är huset! [There is the house!] LARS Finns det någon död? [Are there any dead?] FREDEK Jag såg ingen. [I saw none.] LARS Oly? Var såg du honom? [Oly? Where did you see him?] FREDEK Jag ser ljus! I fönstret! [I see light! In the window!] KJELL Tyst! [Be quiet.] FADE TED Thas t'house? JAMES Eh, by gum. Us gang thru t'winder. [we went in through the window] OLD GIT Winder wooded oop. [window is covered in wood] JAMES [disparagin] Winder at back. TED See owt o't'lads? [see anything of the guys?] JAMES Within? OLD GIT Tha reckon, young-en? TED [musing] Tis goin' dahn't nick, appen as not. [this is all going to hell, like] FADE MUTTERING DISCUSSIONS AMONG BOTH GROUPS MRS. DOC Drink. It's more broth. LEM Thankee kindly, ma'am. All this jawin is plumb wearin me thin. DOC I think you've takin the edge off, anyways. Ain't no one looking fit to kill, no more. LEM At's a wonder. [sips, ahhh.] DOC But I worry about you, feller. Soon as can, you're for bed, and I'll need ta check them wounds. LEM I cain't wish fer more. [up, to Mrs.] Thankee ma'am. Maybe a touch more? MRS. DOC Of course. SOUND BUSTLES OFF LEM [quiet] Spect this's a bad time to say I'm a-hearin voices outside again? DOC What the blazes! LEM shh. I think both have reinforcements comin. We needs to shove some peaceable down all their throats - and right quick, before a range war starts out yonder. SCABBY BILL [clears throat] We are ready to cry off. And make some talk. Nowt gi' up, but sort this - hosses fer yows. [not giving up, but want to negotiate - horses for ewes] LEM Sounds like a good start. You? OLY Ya? [No fighting. Talk. Somehow.] DOC Does that sounds peaceble enough? LEM I'm fair hopeful. [up] Bill? Go tell yer men to rein it in. [correcting] uh, step back. They's comin from out there. SCABBY BILL Flippin 'eck! Ah'm barn. [flippin heck! I'm going] SOUND a couple of steps, DOOR OPENS SCABBY BILL [off, fading] Lads! LEM Oly, your turn, old son. [slowly, with gestures] Go stop your'n. OLY Ya. SOUND FEET, DOOR LEM [clearly weakening] Doc, go and yell fer that Bill feller - tell him to bring Mrs. Beamish along here. See what you can do anyway. DOC Let me take them guns, first, yer gone all pale and fit to drop 'em LEM I'll set em down myself. SOUND METAL ON WOOD LEM [quiet] Don't fret. Th'ain't even loaded. DOC Well, I'll be! LEM I doubt me I got the strength left to hold guns and bullets. Now catch 'em up and get that woman here. END
A quirk of fate brings both Lem and Fanshaw face to face with people from their pasts. disagreeable reunions bring up disagreeable memories, and show a taste of what makes a man into a gunslinger. Written and Produced by Julie Hoverson Cast List Lemuel Roberts /Deadeye Kid - J. Spyder Isaacson Clarence Fanshaw - J. Hoverson ~~~~~~ Grisham - Bill Hollweg (BrokenSea Audio) Lisette Carmichael - Robyn Keyes Commander Bannington - Glen Hallstrom Scotty - Mike Campbell Other Voices: Episode 1 Bartender - Rick Lewis Episode 2 Townsfolks - Mark Olson, Candace Behuniak, Big Anklevitch & Rish Outfield (Dunesteef audio magazine) Episode 3 Juliet - Alexa Chipman (Imagination Lane) Glen Hallstrom Episode 4 Bandits - Big Anklevitch & Rish Outfield (Dunesteef audio magazine) Piedmont - Russell Gold Mr. Roberts - Jack Kincaid (Edict Zero) Episode 5 Nanny - Jennifer Dixon Bandits - Big Anklevitch & Rish Outfield (Dunesteef audio magazine) Episode 6 Bandits - Big Anklevitch & Rish Outfield (Dunesteef audio magazine) Mark & Connor Olson Russell Gold Cover Design: Brett Coulstock Announcer: Glen "Ole Hoss" Hallstrom Opening theme: "The Wreck of Old '97" from public domain recording found on archive.org Any incidental music: Kevin MacLeod (Incompetech.com) Editing and Sound: Julie Hoverson No gunshots herald his approach. No trademark left behind him when he leaves. The Kid had his fill of notoriety in days gone by - as plenty of empty boots can surely testify. Some say he rides alone. That's the Deadeye Kid. ****************************************************************** Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 1 MUSIC 1_ARRIVAL SOUND HORSES, RIVER, BOAT TRAFFIC LEM Largest town I been near in a good passel of time. I hear tell it started out as a frontier fort, but the frontier moseyed west and left it a-setting behind. FANSHAW Will it be safe? LEM Safe? FANSHAW I had rather assumed you were avoiding larger towns. For ... notoriety's sake. LEM Meaning I don't want be invited to a necktie party? 'at's part of it, though I'm purty sure I ain't never been posted in this territory. FANSHAW Is it worth the risk? LEM [shrug noise] Time to time a man wants a bath and a night in a bed. FANSHAW There are some distinct benefits to being deceased. LEM [laughs] I don't gotta listen to you bellyaching about aches and pains and sleeping on the ground no more. Never mind being all prissy and citified about finding you a comf'table bush now and then-- FANSHAW [rolling eyes] Yes, yes. LEM Sides, I'm outta coffee. And low on shells. FANSHAW [teasing] Heavens. How DO you manage? 2_STROLLING AMB IN TOWN SOUND WALKING ON WOOD LEM Lotta trade hereabouts. Reckon I'll be able to get what all I need. FANSHAW Lem! LEM [voice low] We'll go on over yonder. [beat] Must still be a fort within spitting distance. FANSHAW I did notice that the old fortification appears to have become the mansion for an authority of some kind. LEM Probly best to get my business done and skeddaddle. SOUND SALOON DOOR OPENS, JUST OFF, PEOPLE COME OUT FANSHAW I say. Isn't it a bit early for a drink? LEM [shrug] Three weeks. Don't seem early to me. FANSHAW I'll-- LISETTE [off a bit] Clary? FANSHAW [stunned and horrified] Oh god. LISETTE [off a bit] Clary? I'd know that voice anywhere! LEM Friend o'yourn? FANSHAW [stiff, covering] Old acquaintance. Go on ahead! LEM 3_SALOON SOUND HE WALKS INTO SALOON AMB SALOON LEM One here. SOUND DRINK POURED BARTENDER There you go. SOUND COINS SOUND LEM DRINKS GRISHAM [angry growl] Lemuel Roberts. LEM [SPIT-TAKE] SOUND GLASS SLAMMED DOWN BARTENDER Something wrong, fella? LEM [coughing, trying to clear his throat] Hit like a snakebite. GRISHAM You look at me, you pissant slab of gun leather. BARTENDER [sympathetic] Tarnation. You need it yonked? Barber can‑‑ LEM [finally getting clear] No, no. I kin handle it. SOUND COINS, GLASS DOWN LEM And sorry about the-- BARTENDER [dismissive] Ain't no nevermind. SOUND MORE COINS LEM Give me the bottle. GRISHAM Now I found you, you could float a heap o rotgut and won't never drown me! BARTENDER You drink more careful now, you hear? LEM 4_LISETTE AMB OUTSIDE LISETTE [close, laughing] Oh, good lord, look at you! Mustache and all. Aren't you a little brigadier? FANSHAW [acknowledging] Carmichael. LISETTE Oh, how formal. Just like at school. What have you been up to Clary, dear? FANSHAW "Fanshaw," if you please. LISETTE And we used to be such chums. However did you end up here? FANSHAW I'm quite sorry to see that you are dead, Carmichael. LISETTE [laughing] Oh, I rather doubt that! You're only very sad to see that I'm here, aren't you? FANSHAW Would you prefer that I said I am pleased to find that you died, since that would be the only circumstance that could ever have stopped you from tormenting every living soul around you? LISETTE [not amused any more] At least that would be closer to the truth. FANSHAW Jolly good. Happy you're dead. Must get along. LISETTE Don't run off so quickly, Clary! FANSHAW [long breath of self-control] LISETTE There's been no one interesting to talk to or listen in on for simply ages. FANSHAW How unfortunate. Must rush. LISETTE I noticed you speaking to that fellow. FANSHAW [quiet] Bloody hell. [up] I speak to a lot of people. LISETTE I'm sure. But he replied. Might I speak with him as well? FANSHAW I-- LISETTE Oh, just watch your face! You're trying desperately to come up with a lie! You never could hide anything from me, mustache or no mustache, silly Clary-- FANSHAW Stop calling me that. LISETTE Oh, how I've missed these little moments with my dearest friends - ever since I made the leap. I shall have to spend a great deal of time with you - and with your rugged looking friend. FANSHAW [gritted teeth] Jolly good. 5_SALOON2 AMB SALOON SOUND LEM DRINKS, SLAMS DOWN GLASS GRISHAM I know you kin hear me, you toad-bellied worm. SOUND CHAIR SHIFTS, KICKED OUT FROM TABLE LEM [low] Sit. GRISHAM What makes you think I'd sit with you? You done went and killed me! LEM That's one reason I'm plumb surprised to see you. You went down all the way to Fayetteville - damn far north o' here. GRISHAM I ... drifted. LEM That's just what's got me hornswoggled. Ain't no one drifts. GRISHAM Well I did, and I's planning to get you back for what you done, one way or t'other. LEM [sigh] SOUND DRINK POURS 6_PIGS SOUND PIGS LEM Why'd you drag me out to the slaughterhouse? FANSHAW That woman - ghost woman. LEM An old flame? FANSHAW Nonsense! We knew each other as ... children. She is-- [changing the subject] She is unlikely to follow us here. LEM Spect not. Womenfolks ain't fond of this sort of messy business. FANSHAW [disgusted] Yes... LEM So? You'd best'a brought me here fer a reason. FANSHAW Lisette Carmichael. She [hard to say] is a person who likes to know things. About other people. She likes to -- LEM Hold a grudge? Like a noose over yer head? FANSHAW Aptly put. LEM You cain't have much in the way of dark secrets, though, can you? Leastways not no more. FANSHAW You might be surprised. LEM Who's she a-gonna tell? [realizes] Oh. FANSHAW And while I'm fairly certain you think you could overlook any past indiscretion on my part, I don't doubt there are a few things that might shock even you. Lord knows, she's not even above the occasional fabrication. LEM [after a moment] Did it involve a sheep? FANSHAW What? LEM Whatever it was you done. FANSHAW It isn't - it's not like that at all. LEM [shrug] Sounds like we should jest ride on out. FANSHAW What? LEM Got my coffee, ain't no reason to lollygag. FANSHAW You would leave? Over this? LEM I figger you saved m'life more'n once, and ain't much I can do in return. SOUND WALKING IN MUD LEM Let's get gone before you start a-thanking me. 7_BARN AMB BARN SOUND TACK, HORSES, ETC. LEM You distract her, I'll get the gear. Come and find me when you feel the pull. FANSHAW Righty-ho. SOUND LEAVES GRISHAM Running away, eh? Allus knew you'ure yella. LEM [sigh] You're lucky ain't no one about but us. Otherwise, I wouldn't dignify none of that with an answer. GRISHAM You kilt me! LEM We had it out, fair and square. I never shot no one in-- [breaks off, a bit choked up] I never din't kill any one not a-gunning fer me. Not on purpose. SOUND LAST BIT OF TACKING UP GRISHAM Are you saying I was asking fer it? LEM I seem to recall you a-calling me out in the middle of a fairish game of cards. Yellin blue bloody murder that I should step out and face you. GRISHAM Well, yeah, but I was drunk. LEM I din't do THAT to you neither. You called me out, without no good reason agin me. GRISHAM [losing some of his bluster] I fancied making a name for myself. SOUND LEM GETS INTO THE SADDLE LEM By shooting the Kid? You ain't the first. GRISHAM But you still kilt me. LEM And I won't never forget none of it, but you got what you asked for, and not a jot more. Blame providence if you cain't blame yerself, but don't put this guilt on me. Hee-yaw! SOUND RIDES OFF 8_DISTRACTION FANSHAW Lisette? LISETTE There you are! Just like a naughty boy, running off to filthy places to get away. FANSHAW So sorry. Didn't have much choice. My friend is quite fascinated by... hogs. LISETTE Did you make a clean breast of it? Or just warn him not to believe a thing I say? FANSHAW You don't understand what you're threatening to do - you never did. LISETTE So bothered over trifles! How much people change! FANSHAW Ruining someone's life never meant anything to you! Do you recall poor Selfridge? LISETTE Carmela? Served her right. FANSHAW She threw herself off a bridge! LISETTE She also let herself be compromised! I didn't put her in the family way, and she was the one lying and hiding-- FANSHAW Are you trying to imply that you are somehow in the right? A champion of truth? LISETTE Shall I point out what it is you are doing that flies in the face of nature? FANSHAW History is replete with-- LISETTE Oh, spare me. Next you'll be quoting Shakespeare. FANSHAW Very well. I shan't try and justify myself, but I will point out that whatever I am doing, it cannot be changed. Being dead, there's not much one can do about such trifles. LISETTE Then why should it be such a catastrophe were I to tell? FANSHAW [beat] You've never had a real friend, only people who fawned on you in order that you would not reveal their shortcomings. LISETTE [outraged] I--? You--! FANSHAW Kindly allow me to finish. There is a certain camaraderie among men that simply does not - cannot - occur once a woman is involved. Once you put your nose in, I fear it would never be quite the same. LISETTE No doubt. I'll just go and find your friend now, shall I? FANSHAW [strange gasp, ending on a laugh] No, but I think I shall. SOUND FANSHAW LEAVING NOISE CLOSING Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 2 1_MOSEYING AMB OPEN COUNTRYSIDE, nighttime SOUND HORSES WALKING LEM I still cain't reckon how he got so far from where he-- I-- where we had it out. FANSHAW How odd. Have you ever encountered other ghosts who could travel? LEM Present comp'ny only. FANSHAW And we know the how and why of that. Perhaps this fellow has a similar... arrangement? LEM How? And who with? Ain't no one would carry that ugly cuss a dog's walk, let alone some hundred miles. FANSHAW Well, every one of we "spirits" seems to be a bit different. LEM Like your lady friend back there? FANSHAW [sigh] From her current appearance and [disapproving] "costume", she had fallen on ‑ahem- hard times indeed. Possibly drifted west - whilst alive - in hopes of making something better for herself. LEM Lot of people can say that, out this way. FANSHAW [a bit snotty] Frankly I'm not surprised at her misfortune. When you alienate all those around you, no one will step in to help if things take a turn for the worse. LEM Cain't say I ain't never been that fella. FANSHAW [chagrined] Oh. MUSIC FOR FLASHBACK NOTE Lem is younger, more cocky, more superior in the falshback - need to really show who he used to be 2_THE OLD KID AMB SALOON LEM Gimme two. SOUND CARDS LEM [pleased noise] I'll see you and raise-- SOUND CROWD HUSHES GRISHAM [snarling declaration] I hear tell the Deadeye Kid's here in town? LEM [ignoring him, smug] Raise ten. DEALER [shaky] Uh, Kid? GRISHAM Which one o' y'all's sposed to be this weasel? LEM Your call. PLAYER1 [shaky] Um... I fold. LEM [chuckles] PATRON1 How can he--? Patron2 Shh! SOUND HEAVY SPURRED BOOTS CROSS FLOOR, PEOPLE SCUTTLE OUT OF WAY GRISHAM [heavy menace] You the deadeye kid? LEM [offhanded] I'm the man playing a nice civil hand of cards. Mebbe you can hold your hosses there, whistle stomper. GRISHAM Either you come out and face me now, or I swear'n I'm gonna shoot you where you sit. SOUND CHAIRS SCOOTING OUT, PEOPLE LEAVING TABLE LEM [long dramatic sigh] Now that sounds a mite like a threat. PLAYER1 [muttered] Uh, yeah. I'm done. Fergot my wife wants me home. GRISHAM Are you coming, or am I shooting? LEM If everyone's takin' leg, I guess I win by forfeit? DEALER Um, I don't think anyone's gonna argue you on that. GRISHAM You turn around now and face me, you yellow bellied dog! SOUND MONEY BEING SHOVED TOGETHER LEM Give the frog a chance to jump, knuckles. Cain't just leave all this layin around. SOUND G's GUN DRAWN AND COCKED GRISHAM Now! LEM [to dealer, cocky] You'll look after this til I get back? DEALER .. certainly. GRISHAM I'll do it! I will! SOUND CHAIR SLOWLY MOVES, LEM'S SPUR-STEPS, STANDS LEM Rightchere in front of all these good folks? And leave the dealer to clean up the mess? [tsks] Let's at least be civilized and take this on outside. 3_EASIER MUSIC BACK TO NOW SOUND HORSES WALKING FANSHAW Seems as if it would be a great deal easier. LEM Whazzat? FANSHAW Shooting someone in the back. LEM And killin a chicken's easier than takin down a buffalo, but ain't a thing to swell over. Ain't no pride in the easy way. FANSHAW Backshooting would gain you notoriety just as quickly. LEM It's all about how folks look at you... and how they see you. MUSIC BACK TO FLASHBACK 4_WARMUP GRISHAM Are you stepping? LEM What flavor of tarantula juice got you fit to wake snakes? Milk? [insulting that he can't hold his liquor] GRISHAM [furious noise] I got a pill to run you on, and I'm gonna chew back every moment of it. LEM [to the crowd] Righchere's a rumbustious fellow for you. SOUND DRINKS DOWN HIS LIQUOR, SLAMS IT DOWN LEM Barkeep? Have me a shot of top mark waitin. SOUND WALKS OUT, SLOWLY GRISHAM You look at me while I'm a talking to you! LEM [walking out] You say somethin' more wheat than chaff, mebbe I will. 5_RATTLING FANSHAW Were you trying to upset his equilibrium? LEM What's that when it's at home? FANSHAW uh - Throw him off - make him upset and more likely to make mistakes. LEM Yup. There's as much head as hand in a proper showdown. Not that this was one o' them. FANSHAW Why not? He called you out. LEM He was halfway round on rotgut. Not a nugget's chance agin me. Even if he had all his [careful] equilibriums about him. FANSHAW But you stepped out with him? Even knowing he had no chance? LEM A'course. He wouldn't take no. Drunk fellers who ain't gettin their way are as likely to shoot just about anyone. I reckoned I was a-helpin, putting him down. FANSHAW [a bit touchy] And you couldn't simply injure him or knock him out - he had to die? LEM Ain't no place for fine feelins when there's a man with a gun a-facin you. And ain't no time to aim all purty and shoot him just so. You hit hard and put him down, cause if you don't, he'll do it to you. That's the part you cain't get away from - one or t'other's likely for boot hill, and you GOTTA face it that way. 6_SHOWDOWN MUSIC BACK TO FLASHBACK SOUND OUTSIDE NOW GRISHAM You ready? LEM Why trouble yerself to call me out anyhow? I kill someone yer riled over? GRISHAM [duh] Yer the Deadeye Kid! LEM [duh] Yep. [beat] That's your sole entire reason? You wanna walk in my boots? GRISHAM No faster way to make a name, than laying out a name. SOUND THEY MOVE TO EITHER SIDE OF THE SOUNDSCAPE SOUND GUN BEING CHECKED, LEM LEM And o'course it gots to be a callout. [digsut, sarcasm] No one wants to be the next Robert Ford. [man who backshot his friend Jesse James] GRISHAM Come on! Kick it up, Deadeye! Less'n yer yellow! SOUND LEM - DIRT PATTERS - checking the wind] LEM [maddenginly cool] Oh. I'm ripe and ready to drop. SOUND TENSION NOISE, CROWD NOISE, THEN SUDDEN FLURRY OF GUNFIGHT. SOUND G - BODY DROP SOUND LEM - GUN INTO HOLSTER. A MOMENT. FEET WALK BACK UP INTO SALOON 7_ENJOY MUSIC BACK TO NOW FANSHAW [relenting a bit] I suppose it's very like being in battle - not a good place to have consideration for the other fellow. LEM Have to ice over that pond. Hard and cold. Hard and cold. FANSHAW I- I do apologize for sounding disapproving. I want to assure you, it's the process that... well... seems so very pointless. LEM [a litle lighter] Men'll be men. FANSHAW But men can behave in a civilized manner! Look at we Brits. LEM [grunt - half laugh half dismissive] FANSHAW Do you enjoy it? LEM [very mixed feelings] Enjoy? FANSHAW Throughout history there have been men who reveled in killing, in battle. LEM [musing] There's a fire that burns you at that moment, like bugs in the skin. LEM S'like the best whiskey and the moment you almost fall off a cliff, and being with the love of your life, all at the same damn time. FANSHAW The thrill of danger? LEM That, but even more so. If'n you just want danger, you go climbin cliffs or breakin broncs. This is starin into the eyes of death - death right there and then and ain't no "maybe so" about it. Kill or be killed. [beat, then not quite truthful] Enjoy? FANSHAW Sometimes a person's strength is in making the right choice, even when it might pain them to do so. LEM I reckon. 8_WINNER MUSIC FLASH BACK AMB INSIDE SALOON, HUSHED SOUND GUNSHOT, OUTSIDE WOMAN [gasps] SOUND [CROWD NOISE, OUTSIDE], THEN OMINOUS BOOTS ON WOOD, SALOON DOOR OPENS SOUND PIANO PLAYS, CHATTER BEGINS AGAIN LEM [voiceover] there's also this way people have of lookin at you - like yer the best. Used be I din't see the fear beneath it. SOUND BOTTLE POURS, GLASS SET DOWN BARTENDER Your shot, Mister. LEM [drinks big, then bragging] My second shot in two minutes! SOUND Forced laughter from the crowd, warps out a bit. 9_HUNKER MUSIC BACK TO NOW LEM [brisk] It's coming down dusk. Need to find a place to hunker fer the night. FANSHAW I shall keep an eye out for-- [dread] oh! LEM Whazzat? FANSHAW Look - the horizon! LEM Signal fires, and a lot of em. FANSHAW They're a little far off to get a better look at. We shall... have to return, shan't we? LEM Someone's gotta warn the town. Whether it's injuns or sumpin else, looks like an ambush on the march. FANSHAW [weakly] Surely the garrison maintains lookouts? LEM Not so much that I saw. They're purt near closed up shop, from the looks back there. FANSHAW [heavy sigh] Right, then. SOUND DISMOUNT, SHIFTING A FEW THINGS FROM HORSE TO HORSE LEM You worried about your lady friend? FANSHAW She's neither a lady nor a friend. But whatever she might have to say will matter to none but me. [change of tone] We are a couple of hours out. LEM Horses ain't fresh, but I weren't pushin. We can get back before them out there can get into spittin distance. SOUND MOUNT OTHER HORSE FANSHAW [resigned but determined] Shall we? MUSIC Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 3 1_WONT SPOOK SOUND READYING FOR BATTLE LEM If'n you got a fresh horse, I kin go scout some fer you. COMMANDER You've done enough already, stranger. Ain't even your fight. LEM I know where they're at, and I got some idea of where they're likely to be by the time I get back there. Give me one horse ain't like to spook, and I'll-- COMMANDER I'll have to send a man along with you. LEM That's fine. Make sure he ain't like to spook neither. 2_LISETTE SOUND [above scene plays out in the background] LISETTE And here I thought you had run away and left me all alone. FANSHAW [sigh] Why don't we step outside to have this conversation? LISETTE I like seeing what the "menfolk" are up to. [frustrated noise] What I wouldn't give to be able to leave this rattletrap town. I'm still not sure how you did that. Or why you came back. FANSHAW We had to warn the garrison. LISETTE Always full of suprises, aren't you - and yet still sanctimonious. Fanshaw, dear old chum. Are you not afraid of what I might say? FANSHAW Any concern you might cause me is negligible when weighed against the potential danger to others. LISETTE [surprised laugh] Hah! All you superior little snobs, with your noses in the air! And deep down, all just as afraid as the rest of us. FANSHAW I've no idea what you're talking about, and I don't care to find out. Whatever you plan to do, just get on with it. We have a job to do. LISETTE Wait! FANSHAW [long sigh] Yes? LISETTE Shall I wish you "good luck"? FANSHAW I doubt I shall need any. But I thank you for the sentiment, Miss Carmichael, however grudgingly bestowed. 3_JULIET FLASHBACK JULIET Romeo, doff thy name, And for that name which is no part of thee Take all myself. FANSHAW I take thee at thy word: Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized; Henceforth I never will be Romeo. JULIET What man art thou that thus bescreen'd in night So stumblest on my counsel? ROMEO By a name I know not how to tell thee who I am: My name, dear saint, is hateful to myself-- SOUND POUNDING LISETTE Oh heavens! Not again! MAN [calling from off] Sorry. SOUND POUNDING STOPS LISETTE Try that scene again from the top. Romeo? FANSHAW [sigh] Yes? LISETTE Couldn't you try to be a bit more ... masculine? JULIET Oh, I like "him". So terribly byronic. FANSHAW I'll see what I can do. 4_SCOTTY SOUND PACKING A HORSE SCOTTY Sir? LEM Yeah? SCOTTY Private Scott. Commander Bennington told me to report to you. LEM [sigh] Right. You ever shot that for real? SCOTTY O'course. LEM Against a person? SCOTTY Well, against animals. LEM GRISHAM Not everyone can be you. LEM [sighs] SCOTTY Don't you worry! I ain't afraid! GRISHAM This pullet ain't even got pinfeathers yet. You get him killed, you gonna adda a notch fer him too? LEM You got a horse, Scott? SCOTTY Everyone calls me Scotty. GRISHAM Later, they'll just call him dead. LEM Right. You gotta horse? SCOTTY Over there. GRISHAM [rueful] My damn horse. Serving in the army like the rest of the idjets. LEM Well, go and get'im. SCOTTY Right, sir! GRISHAM Ain't he a little young? You should oughtta throw him back. LEM I'm stuck with him. And I never kept notches. GRISHAM That ain't what I heered. LEM Lot o' tales goin round - ain't a one of 'em naught but sagebrush smoke. GRISHAM And the tale 'bout how you kilt me? LEM [sharp intake] I don't brag on none o' that no more. GRISHAM So, you think I like being plumb forgot? LEM If I thought tellin about it would ease you on to the next thing, you think I wouldn't? SCOTTY Tell me about what? Injuns? [certain] I know all about them. LEM [sigh] 5_SCOUTING AMB CRICKETS SOUND HORSES FANSHAW They're still out of range. I can just barely catch snippets of sound at my farthest reach, but I'm fairly certain it is not Indians. LEM Hmm? FANSHAW I can make out English and Spanish. Are we anywhere near the Mexico territories? LEM [quiet] Ain't impossible. Deserters, mebbe. SCOTTY What ain't impossible? LEM We're gettin close. Best to go on foot. SCOTTY These here horses are my responsibility! LEM Best you stay and watch'em, then. FANSHAW Don't forget the satchel. SOUND CREAK LEM Like I'd forget that. SCOTTY I wouldna gone through your kit or nothin! I ain't no finger monkey. FANSHAW [laughs] I ne'er heard that one before. SOUND REMOVING SPURS LEM Ain't that I don't trust you, son, just might need me some things. If I was you, I'd take them horses up yonder - forge as far into the high rough as you can, but keep where you can see if I come tearin out of there. You reckon? SCOTTY How'll you find us? LEM I'll find you. Just be ready. And don't shoot me. SOUND QUIET FEET ON DIRT 6_JULIET2 FLASHBACK echoey hallway LISETTE [running up] Fanshaw? FANSHAW LISETTE [trying to start a fight] We've been reconsidering your costume. Those leggings are positively scandalous. FANSHAW [bland] Romeo can hardly appear in bloomers. Would be rather difficult to climb to the balcony. LISETTE Perhaps plain trousers, then. [sly] Though I understand you were quite keen on showing off your legs. FANSHAW [rueful] There is a great deal to be said for the freedom of movement. [dismissive] But a costume is a costume. I certainly shan't make a fuss. LISETTE [annoyed at not being able to get a rise out of F] Very well. 7_FANSHAW SCOUTS SOUND SLIGHT RUSTLE OF LEAVES LEM [very quiet] Close enough? FANSHAW I'll have a look round. SOUND FANSHAW LEAVES GRISHAM [very loud] You hiding from something? LEM [reaction noise, quickly stifled] GRISHAM Ooh! Scairt you, din't I? LEM [whispered] Made me jump damn near out my skin. GRISHAM [smug and evil] Well that's good, then. Looks like I can get my own back on you. LEM What all do you want? GRISHAM Apart from you in a pine box? I'm hankerin to be alive agin, but that ain't gon happen. LEM Not likely, nope. How'd you follow us? GRISHAM What kind of tenderfoot you take me for that I can't follow my own damn horse? LEM [half realizing something] Damn. SOUND FANSHAW COMES BACK FANSHAW Who the devil is this? GRISHAM Who the devil are you? LEM What'd ya find out? FANSHAW A motley crew, but definitely girding themselves for battle. GRISHAM What kinda girlie man are ya? Highfaluting slicker talk! FANSHAW [sigh, but determined] They're half mounted already, but I could make out that they're waiting til after midnight, to make certain of finding as many people abed as possible. GRISHAM Put you in a dress, and I bet everyone'd wanna dance! FANSHAW We need to get moving. GRISHAM I think you need a shave, girlie man. SOUND KNIFE FANSHAW [finally breaking concentration] God damn you all to hell! SOUND PUNCH, KNEE TO GROIN LEM [trying not to laugh] GRISHAM FANSHAW Marquis of Queensbury be damned. We need to go. GRISHAM [different kind of ooooh - like he's falling, or being dragged off] SOUND SUCK NOISE AND GRISHAM VANISHES LEM What'd you do to him? FANSHAW I didn't! I couldn't-- I... haven't the faintest idea? 8_JULIET3 SOUND TAP ON DOOR LISETTE Fanshaw? FANSHAW Come in. LISETTE I've brought you your hat-- whatever are you doing? FANSHAW I was considering what I might do with my hair. To create the right ilusion. LISETTE That is what the HAT is for. FANSHAW I prefer not. It looks like an ottoman on my head. LISETTE And Romeo does not wear a moustache. FANSHAW Whyever not? LISETTE On the stage, moustaches are only for villains and army colonels! FANSHAW [considering] I might just cut my hair. LISETTE That is the final straw! Miss Peabody said this would happen. FANSHAW What? LISETTE That you would take too many liberties. You are out. FANSHAW Out? LISETTE [snidely satisfied] You are no longer a member of this production. 9_DEAD SCOTT SOUND QUIET BOOTSTEPS LEM [very quiet] Scotty? FANSHAW [off a bit] Oh, good god. LEM Do I need to keep quiet? FANSHAW I don't see anyone. .. hostile. SOUND QUICK, NOISIER FOOTSTEPS SCOTTY [as if waking up] Oooh! LEM What is-- [tragic regret] Ohh. SCOTTY They come in out of nowheres! FANSHAW I don't doubt it. SCOTTY And they took the damn horses, Mister Roberts! FANSHAW I think that just might explain-- SCOTTY And who in blue blazes is this feller? LEM [heavy sigh] CLOSING Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 4 1_DROP EVERYTHING SOUND UNBUCKLING, BAG DOWN, ETC. LEM Good thing I had that with me. Though now I gotta leave it. SOUND SATCHEL DOWN FANSHAW Of course. SCOTTY I'm really sorry about this, sir. LEM I doubt me you coulda stopped it, son. And you been punished enough. SCOTTY What do you mean? They musta knocked me out, but I don't even feel it. FANSHAW I'll deal with him. LEM I'll leave you to it. SCOTTY What are you doing? LEM Gonna haveta hoof it back to town - cain't take naught but my guns. You gon' be all right? SOUND RUSTLE OF BUSHES FANSHAW Well, we won't be able to do much to stop them if they came across your bag, but that looks like a good hiding place. Especially in the dark. SCOTTY Can't do anything? What are you talking about? FANSHAW Hush, Scotty. Let Lem get moving and we'll have a good long talk. SOUND BOOTS RUN OFF 2_REBEL CAMP SOUND MANY HORSES, MEN CHATTER, etc. SOUND GRISHAM STUMBLES IN GRISHAM Where the hell? [Thunder?]! Goddam rustlers! SOUND MEN WALK BY LEADER Two horses, two saddles. I don't like it. SECOND Guerrero had the kid down before we realized. But if there's another scout, he won't be able to get anywhere - at least not soon enough. LEADER [thinks, then definite] We must move up the charge. SECOND We're nearly ready. 3_NO HEAVEN SCOTTY [trying not to cry] So that's IT? I mean this is it? No nothing left? No heaven? FANSHAW There are so many things even I don't understand. I wish I could offer you more in the way of consolation. SCOTTY But don't no one ever pass along? FANSHAW Most do. And I'm even aware of those who spend some time like this, and then pass on, though there's no easy answer for how or why it happens. SCOTTY And I won't never even get to be with a woman. FANSHAW [uncomfortable] Oh, dear. That is a shame. SCOTTY What's it like? FANSHAW [dread] What is ... what... like? SCOTTY Being with a woman? FANSHAW ... 4_RUNNING LEM [heavy but measured breathing] SOUND RUNNING FOOTSTEPS - TROT, NOT DASH LEM [muttered] Dammit. Leastways there's a good moon. 4A_FLASHBACK MUSIC FLASHBACK SOUND NIGHT, DOGS, CHICKENS - ALARUMS SOUND ANGRY MOB, OFF ROBERTS [yelling, off] Leastways, there's a good moon! PIEDMONT [up close, heavy breathing, trying to be quiet] ROBERTS [off, yelling] Spread out! Don't let that traitor get away! Where's that rope? PIEDMONT [gasp, then trying to breathe even quieter] SOUND VERY SLOW CREAK, SHUTTING DOOR ON THE NOISE. YOUNG LEM [about 12] Whatchoo doin', mister? PIEDMONT [terrible gasp, smothers a scream] 6_EXPERIENCE FANSHAW My experience is not ... vast, but I have had one or two ... romantic encounters. SCOTTY Well, you're a man of the world, ain't you? You been all over the place! FANSHAW Oh dear. [up] I've spent most of my life deep in study. I suppose I've always felt there would be time - later - to settle down to a family and all. SCOTTY Me too. Not the studying, but the ... "later". FANSHAW [after a moment] Women are.... soft. SCOTTY [eager] Yeah? FANSHAW And round. In places where men aren't. SCOTTY But they do got legs, don't they? FANSHAW [flabbergasted] What? SCOTTY You never don't see none of them out of skirts! Who knows what they got under there? FANSHAW Well, that I can answer - generally, women are made the same as men. Arms, legs, heads - well, one head. You understand. SCOTTY [avid] And bosoms. FANSHAW Yes, that. 7_VARMINT SOUND RUNNING, LEM'S HEAVY BREATHING UNDER THIS? PIEDMONT Shh! Don't let anyone know I am here. YOUNG LEM You the varmint they's looking fer? PIEDMONT There is no call to use such language, boy. Do you know this area? YOUNG LEM I should hope I do! My pa's Mr. Jorgenson's top man. PIEDMONT [sarcastic] So he's the one leading the search. YOUNG LEM [pride] Yup. SOUND OUTSIDE, THE ROW GETS CLOSER ROBERTS [outside] Get him, Honeysuckle, there's a good bitch! YOUNG LEM [pride and fear] That's my pa! PIEDMONT But you're not going to tell him I am in here? YOUNG LEM I don't fancy getting whupped. I ain't sposed to be in the barn at night. 8_YOUNG LOVE FANSHAW I was in love. When I was very young. SCOTTY Was she really purtty? FANSHAW [sigh] I thought the sun rose and set with my beloved's face. Have you ever seen hair so fine and blonde that your fingers desperately wanted to touch it? SCOTTY You talk so flowery, I bet all the girls jest love you! FANSHAW Our parents objected. They said we were too young, and I was packed off to school. SCOTTY What didja do? FANSHAW I waited. I nursed my deep love, and remained constant, like patience on a rock. SCOTTY You waited on a rock? FANSHAW I waited at school. I was determined that one day, when we were old enough that no one could object, I would return and we would be joined forever. SCOTTY What happened? FANSHAW I made my way to the object of my affection and...discovered... SCOTTY Yes? FANSHAW That I was the only one who had bothered to wait. SCOTTY She'd gone and -- FANSHAW My "dearest love" had married another. Had, and I quote "almost forgotten about that summer." SCOTTY Damn! Women are right terrible. FANSHAW Don't fault women, boy. There are quite as many constant and sweet-natured females as there are fickle and wicked men. We all deserve a "heaping helping" of the blame. 8_DISCOVERED SOUND UNDER - LEM WALKING NOW, STILL BREATHING HARD, PACING HIMSELF YOUNG LEM They're fixing to hang you? PIEDMONT YOUNG LEM Why? What for? PIEDMONT We were on opposite sides in a fight. YOUNG LEM You mean the war? My pa says why keep slaves when you can hire men for even cheaper and don't have to sell them if'n they don't do the job right. PIEDMONT [incensed] You think your pa knows so much about everything, don't you? YOUNG LEM [a bit afraid] Well, he knows where you are. SOUND DOOR SLAMS OPEN ROBERTS There he is! MAN Get him! PIEDMONT [scream] SOUND SCUFFLE, KNIFE DRAWN YOUNG LEM [gasp, cut off by hand] PIEDMONT I'll kill your boy, just see if I won't! 10_STUCK SCOTTY You said you know about some folks what was like this for a time and then moved along? FANSHAW We've encountered one or two. SCOTTY How'd it work? FANSHAW Work? SCOTTY I mean, I don't wanna be stuck out here, middle o' nowhere, all by my lonesome, forever! FANSHAW I don't know that I have an answer for you. I've only been - like this - for a... a couple of years, myself, and haven't seen a fraction of what Lem has. SCOTTY Years? You been dead for years and ain't moved on? FANSHAW .. help people. And I get to see the world - [half pleased, half rueful] hmph... in perfect safety. 11_SHOT SOUND LEM RUNNING AGAIN PIEDMONT [panicky, but trying to be placating] I am going to have to ask you to take a step back, sir! My hand could slip a fraction of an inch, and that's all it would take. YOUNG LEM [gasp] Pa? SOUND GUNSHOT SOUND TWO BODY DROPS ROBERTS [cold] You understand we cain't leave that kind of critter running loose, don't you? 12_BUSINESS FANSHAW Some folks stay because they have unfinished business, and once the business is completed, they are able pass on. SCOTTY Business? I ain't never been in business. FANSHAW No, no. For instance, one young man was able to move along once his murderer was uncovered and hung. SCOTTY I spose that could happen. FANSHAW Or perhaps when the horses have been recovered, since that was your task at the time of your death. SCOTTY [very down] Oh, right. FANSHAW [cheering] Or, when the town has been warned. That could very well have been at the forefront of your thoughts. SCOTTY [wailing] Oh no! FANSHAW Whatever is the matter? SCOTTY What if it's ladies? FANSHAW [careful] What if what is "ladies"? SCOTTY What if I can't never pass on til I been with a lady? FANSHAW [cold, practical] That would be most extremely awkward. Worry about that once we find out if you can get back to town or not. 13_WHUPPING YOUNG LEM [sniffles a bit] ROBERTS You crying, boy? YOUNG LEM [stifling it] No sir. ROBERTS Now run and let Mrs. Roberts have a look at that scratch. SOUND A COUPLE OF STEPS, THEN TURN YOUNG LEM [blank] You shot him dead. ROBERTS YOUNG LEM In the dark, and on the draw, and din't even hit me. ROBERTS [beat] You asking something? YOUNG LEM What if he'd'a kilt me? Or what if you did? ROBERTS [long pause] Life's hard, boy. You cain't let folks get away with wrongdoing, no matter who they got a grip on. YOUNG LEM SOUND BARN DOOR SWINGS OPEN, COUPLE OF STEPS ROBERTS Lem? YOUNG LEM [almost a gasp] Yessir? ROBERTS [casual] Don't think I'm not gon' whale you for being in the barn by night, neither. [neeether] YOUNG LEM [quiet, resentful] Yes, sir. 14_CRICKET SCOTTY It ain't fair! I'm being punished and I ain't never even done nothing! FANSHAW Life is not fair. Death even less so. SCOTTY I-- FANSHAW [cutting him off] Still, I expect there must be some sort of answer. SCOTTY Answer? FANSHAW Very likely, when they take your body back to town, you will accompany it, and there will find what you need to do to pass on. SCOTTY What if they don't take it - me back? FANSHAW Lem will see that they do. SCOTTY And what about you, Mister Fanshaw? FANSHAW What about me? SCOTTY Don't you get to pass on too? FANSHAW But you see Scotty, I have no wish to. SCOTTY No? Why? FANSHAW I still have many things to see. And I feel like I'm doing good here. There's a story I read some time back, a sort of fable, about a puppet that comes to life. SCOTTY That's crazy talk. FANSHAW That's why it's a story. In the tale, a cricket is asked to stay with him and make sure he does the right things. SCOTTY All right. Wait, a cricket, like a bug? FANSHAW A talking bug, but yes, a bug. SCOTTY That's just plumb crazy. FANSHAW [gasp] Look at the horizon! I think they are on the move! SCOTTY Is there something we can do? FANSHAW This is one of those times I truly wish there was. CLOSING Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 5 1_COMING SOUND IN TOWN - HORSES, MEN, READYING FOR BATTLE COMMANDER [commands] We need more shot at the western boundary! Get someone over there! SOLDIER Yessir! SOUND FEET RUN OFF SHARPLY SOUND DISTANT APPROACH OF PAINED, SLOW RUNNING SOLDIER2 Sir! Someone's coming! On foot! COMMANDER On foot? SENTRY [off] Halt! LEM [breathless, with long gasps] I can't... If I stop... I'm gon fall down... And I gotta get to... The commander. SENTRY Stop, I say! COMMANDER Let him on through. LEM They're a-movin. Deserters 'n comancheros. Have guns. COMMANDER Why are you-- LEM Kilt Scotty. Took the horses. Look sharp. Ungh! SOUND FALLS DOWN COMMANDER Are you all right? [up] Someone get Doc! LEM I'll be [coughing fit] fine. Jest let me lie till the shakin goes off. 2_SPOOK HORSES SCOTTY We got to do something! FANSHAW And just what do you have in mind? I've already done all I can, scouting them for Lem. By the time they come close enough for us to get a look at, they will be moving fast enough that we shall hardly have time to observe. SCOTTY Can't we spook the horses or nothing? That's what haints do, isn't it? FANSHAW I was with you the entire trip out from town. Did the horses seem spooked to you? SCOTTY [really down] No. FANSHAW If Lem makes it back in time, there are ways we can help him. Otherwise, we are merely spectators at this show. 3_TONIC DOC Can you get yourself around this? LEM [still hoarse, puffing] Tonic? DOC [shrug] Mostly brandy. LEM [rusty chuckle] Thanks, doc. [drinks] LISETTE Oh, goodness. I believe you are Fanshaw's dear friend. LEM [coughs] DOC Din't say it was GOOD brandy. LEM [hawks, spits, clear throat] Hits the spot. LISETTE [calculating] And not able to walk away. [cruel chuckle] How perfectly jolly. DOC The commander's gone off to rally the men, but they're like to need you to guide them. You up fer it? LEM Will be... shortly. Any chance of a mite to eat? It's been a powerful long night, and not looking to roll up any time soon. 4_DO SOMETHING SCOTTY He's the only one what can hear us? FANSHAW We've come across... others. But they are very rare. SCOTTY [yelling] I want to DO something! I want to help! FANSHAW There is no need to make such a ... a ruckus! I am in precisely the same predicament! SCOTTY But I-- GRISHAM [off] Will you two shut up? They're trying to sneak up on your position! FANSHAW Oh dear. Come along. SCOTTY Where? FANSHAW To do the only productive thing - gather as much information as possible. 5_SADDLED SOUND MEN READY TO GO SOUND MOUNT UP LEM [sigh of relief, but also soreness] COMMANDER You doing all right, there, feller? LEM Better saddle than boots. I fair run the soles offa these. COMMANDER Morning comes, we'll stand you a new set. Least we can do. Let's go. SOUND HORSES MOVE OUT LEM Commander? COMMANDER Hmm? LEM Rather than meet them headlong, since ain't no way to know how far they come, might could I suggest a defensive position? COMMANDER This town is not a good place for that. Too spread out. And there's no way to get everyone into the fort, not without leaving near everything they own ripe for the picking. LEM Nah - I'm a-thinkin just this side of the bridge, right about halfway out. Bridge and creek - they ain't much, but if we can catch them this side of it, put their backs to water, and use the treeline for cover-- COMMANDER I like the way you think, hombre. [up] Company! [attention!] 6_FIGHT GRISHAM Ain't no way you're taking me by surprise again, you-- ow! SOUND PUNCH FANSHAW [casual] shut up. SCOTTY That was a good'un! But what if he lands one on you - he's awful big! FANSHAW Leave him! [quiet, moving away] We can't actually be hurt. But not everyone realizes that, and many feel the pain, even when there is no reason to. I learned that the hard way. GRISHAM [off] I'm a-gonna get you! FANSHAW Blast! He may not be able to harm me, but he can annoy and distract, and make it difficult to get anything constructive done. SCOTTY Maybe - maybe I could keep him from bothering you? FANSHAW How? SCOTTY Well, I been plumb angry since I got kilt, and my momma says sometimes the best way to get over anger, if you don't got no pie, is to-- GRISHAM Kill you, you girly man! SCOTTY [grunt as he punches him] GRISHAM oof! SCOTTY Better'n pie! You go on, Mr. Fanshaw, and do what you gotta. FANSHAW Good lad. 7_GRANDKIDS LEM [muttered] Fanshaw? Too far out. COMMANDER What's the terrain like beyond the bridge? LEM Nothing much to speak of. Some hills. A ridge off to the north where first we saw them. No place fer them to make a stand tween here and there, though. COMMANDER Cain't let this sort of thing go. LEM Course not. COMMANDER You got the extra shot you needed, did you? LEM Had to leave all o' mine cached back with Scotty. COMMANDER You're sure he's ... dead? LEM I'm afraid I do know dead when I see it. COMMANDER [sad] That's too bad. LEM Kin? COMMANDER LEM [trying to ease] He went down fightin. COMMANDER That don't give my sister grandbabies. LEM [symp] Nope, it shore don't. 8_PIRATES SOUND MUCH CREEPING FANSHAW Looks like about three score. Hardly a fair fight, sneaking up on a defenseless town at night. Like pirates. 8A_FLASHBACK MUSIC FLASHBACK AMB BRIGHT SUNNY DAY NANNY Come along in now, bunny bug. YOUNG CLARA Stop calling me that, nanny! I'm very nearly 10 years old. NANNY You'll always be my little bunny bug. Oh! Whatever is that tea towel doing on your head? [gasp of fear] Did you hurt yourself? Show nanny! YOUNG CLARA No! I am a pirate. NANNY Do not be so silly. There are no pirates. YOUNG CLARA Of course there are. They are in books, so they must be real. NANNY Besides, you cannot be a pirate. YOUNG CLARA Well not just NOW. When I am bigger, I shall be able to do whatever I want. 9_WASPS COMMANDER Did you see how big a force they had? LEM Not to count them, but it was bigger'n I thought. At least 30, probably more. COMMANDER [skeptical] Really? LEM They had a dozen cookin fires goin, and you don't make a fire to feed a lone fellow. COMMANDER [considers, then agrees] No, you don't. LEM 'Sides, better to expect a whole hive of wasps than be surprised by one too many. COMMANDER [chuckles] Sound thinking. [up] Lieutenant! 10_BAG SOUND STILL MUCH MOVEMENT SOUND SCOTTY AND GRISHAM, FIGHTING SCOTTY [pleased] You tired yet, feller? I ain't even blowed! GRISHAM [tired] You little whippersnapper! Think you can pull a man's whiskers and walk away! FANSHAW [muttered] There are some distinct benefits to being dead. More than he will ever know. [gasp] No. RUFFIAN1 Hey! I found something! SOUND CREAK OF LEATHER - LEM'S GEAR FANSHAW [worried] Damn! Lem's bag! RUFFIAN2 What? SECOND Silence! RUFFIAN2 [whispered] bring it - we'll split it later! RUFFIAN1 Split it? Nonsense! It's mine, whatever it is! SECOND [whispered] Keep moving! 11_SCOUT AHEAD COMMANDER [ordering, but hushed] Take your men and circle round up thataway. Get to high ground and cut off retreat. BOB Yessir! LEM If you don't mind, sir, I'us thinkin I might scout on up ahead a mite. COMMANDER You aren't even being paid to be part of this, fellow, why do you keep risking yourself? LEM [shrug] Someone's gotta. 'sides I had to leave my kit behind, and wanna get it if I can before someone else lays hands on it. COMMANDER Valuables? LEM Nothin worth money, but some things cain't be replaced. COMMANDER [teasing a bit] Go on then, but if you see them coming, you'll come back and tell us first, eh? LEM [chuckle] I reckon. 12_LEAD ROPE SCOTTY Mister Fanshaw! That fellow just vanished! Like he flew away, whilst I was a-hittin on him! FANSHAW I fear I shall be gone shortly as well. SCOTTY Why? FANSHAW I am not sure of his reasons, but I must stay with the bag. Now that it has been found... SCOTTY Why? Keeping an eye on it? FANSHAW There's something in there - Oh! It's moving. Stay with me as long as you can. SCOTTY Why can't I--? FANSHAW Shh! [very hurried] Picture a rope tied to something, say, to you - your body, over there. And you are on the other end. SCOTTY Like a training rope? [ASK PAT] FANSHAW Basically, yes. You can go anywhere, within the circle made by that rope. SCOTTY [figuring it out] So you're ... tied to that bag? FANSHAW Yes! [gasp] Bloody thieves! SOUND FANSHAW SUCKED AWAY 13_BE A BOY YOUNG CLARA I am going to be a pirate! I shall sail the seven seas and steal all the gold! NANNY Stealing is very wicked. YOUNG CLARA But you can't be a pirate without stealing! Then you're just a sailor! NANNY And young ladies do not become pirates. Young ladies become mommies. YOUNG CLARA Or nannies. NANNY [reassuring] Don't fret yourself, bunny bug. You shall be a mummy. YOUNG CLARA I should rather be a nanny. Mummies are boring. Nannies have things to do. NANNY [sigh] Mummies have things to do too. YOUNG CLARA I don't want to be a mummy, I want to be a pirate! I want to see the world! NANNY [stern] There are many thing in this world, Clara Fanshaw, that are only meant for boys. YOUNG CLARA Then I want to be a boy! END Auld Lang Syne [DeK4] EPISODE 6 1_READY SOUND NIGHT, MEN BEING QUIET, HORSES OFF COMMANDER Yer sure you wanna go on out there, all on your own?? LEM I'm best on my own, and I don't want another of yer boys on my conscience. COMMANDER [acknowledging] Scotty. LEM If I can't see my way to get back and warn you quick enough, I'll shoot off twice-- COMMANDER [warning] They'll know you're there. LEM I kin look after myself. Two shots means it's a-comin, and I spect after that there'ull be plenty more shots to keep y'all busy. I best get a move on. COMMANDER One thing. LEM Yeah? COMMANDER One of my men swore he'd seen you before. LEM [down] Oh. COMMANDER And that you're the Deadeye kid. LEM I- COMMANDER [overriding, but clearly lying] I told him not to be so credulous. Deadeye Kid looks nothing like that man that's about to save our town. LEM [realizing] Ri-ight. COMMANDER [serious] Don't make me a liar. LEM I kin only do my best. SOUND WALKS AWAY 2_BLACKGUARDS SOUND COMMOTION, MANY MEN, HORSES, TRAVELING LEADER [loud whisper] We'll leave the horses near the stream and sneak up. FANSHAW RUFFIAN2 [whisper] What's in that bag you found anyways? RUFFIAN1 [whisper] Ain't had no time, but it's shore heavy. RUFFIAN2 [whisper] Heavy is good! Mebbe it's gold! RUFFIAN1 Well, I still ain't sharing! FANSHAW Such stimulating conversation. I wonder how far ahead of these ruffians I can manage to stay. 3_TALLYHO SOUND STEALTHY MOVING THROUGH UNDERBRUSH, STOPS LEM [angry hmph] They cain't be too damn far off. And ridin. FANSHAW [distant] Tally-ho! LEM [starts to laugh but turns it into a snort] FANSHAW Halloooooo! Halloo- [suddenly cut off] LEM What the devil? [shrugs, to himself] Well, you can take care of your own damn self. SOUND RUNNING FEET TAKE OFF 4_STRUGGLE AMB IN THE ATTACK FORCE GRISHAM Now I gotcha sorted out! FANSHAW [muffled noises] SOUND STRUGGLING GRISHAM Oh, no you don't! SOUND MORE STRUGGLE GRISHAM I finally figgered out cain't do nothing to hurt me. Long as I ignore it. But I can still keep a tight grip on you. FANSHAW [noise of effort] GRISHAM [ouch!] Hey! You bit me! FANSHAW Keep ahead of them!!!! GRISHAM [disgusted noise] FANSHAW [to grisham] Damn you all to--[muffled again] GRISHAM Stop with all the wiggling, you stupid-- [stunned!] whatthehell? FANSHAW [noise of effort] SOUND STRUGGLE, BREAKS FREE GRISHAM You're a-- ? FANSHAW You may be stronger than me, but I am faster. SOUND FANSHAW LEAVES GRISHAM what the hell? A female? 5_SIGNAL COMMANDER He's been gone a fair piece. SOUND [DISTANT] TWO GUN SHOTS COMMANDER [commanding, but quiet] They're coming! SOUND [command passes along ranks - GET VOICES] COMMANDER [a bit superior] I knew that that fellow was no sort of outlaw. 6_PLAN DOS LEADER Shots? SECOND Sir? LEADER Someone has seen. Get El puerco and his fellows. Tell them plan dos. SECOND Plan dos, sir? LEADER They'll circle south and get behind the town. We get some children in hand, no one will fight any more. SECOND Yessir! SOUND RUNS OFF SCOTTY [torn] I can't just let them-- [plaintive] but what can I do? 7_BUCKETFULL SOUND HORSES APPROACHING NOTE - Lem is lying in wait, letting the group go past, and plans to pick them off from behind. FANSHAW [distant but closer, yelling] Lem! That dead friend of yours is about - watch out! LEM [muttered] Damn. And I don' want to go shootin no good horse jest to lay a varmint like that down. SOUND HORSES BEGIN TO PASS LEM [very quietly] 30...? Nearer fifty. That's a bucketful of wasps. SOUND SHOTS! (where the horses went to) LEM [muttered to self] hold on. SOUND NO MORE HORSES COMING LEM [muttered] almost... GRISHAM There you are! LEM [sharp intake of breath] That don't work on me twice. Specially when I been warned. GRISHAM Oh, that girly friend of your'n? Funny thing about that-- SOUND GRISHAM IS YANKED AWAY LEM Good riddance. And jest in time. SOUND BEGINS SHOOTING MaN [shot, fall] 8_HOLD THE LINES COMMANDER [roaring now] Hold the lines! More shot, boy! BOY Yessir! MAN [hit, argh!] COMMANDER Stay low! FANSHAW All seems rather well here. GRISHAM There you are. FANSHAW Bloody hell. GRISHAM [nasty chuckle] I was just wondring - if I kin grab you, I bet I kin kiss you, little lady! FANSHAW [dodging] I doubt you'll catch me again, now that I'm watching for you, but I will admit that one advantage to being a ghost is that I needn't make an effort to remain upwind of you. SOUND FANSHAW OUT 9_RELOAD SOUND COMMOTION OFF, NOT RIGHT HERE SOUND RELOADING SOUND NEARBY HORSE PFFS LEM That's nine. SOUND SLAPS GUN SHUT SCOTTY [distant, yelling] Someone! They're circling round! There's some fellers as are going south to get behind lines! LEM [listens for a second] Fanshaw? Damn. SCOTTY [yelling] Please! Don't let them hurt nobody in town. LEM [muttered] boy'll yell himself hoarse. [chuckles] dead don't get hoarse. But I gotta get one. [clucks to horse] SOUND HORSE BLOWS LEM [grunts as he swings into the saddle] Come on. FANSHAW [a bit distant] Lem? LEM Wazzat? There you are! FANSHAW Close as I can get just now, and can't stay. That blighter keeps trying to grab me. LEM Grisham? FANSHAW The commander seems to be holding well. The villains have taken heavy losses and are starting to fall apart. LEM Can you yell to Scotty, let him know I got his message? FANSHAW What message? LEM Just try and tell the boy. So he can rest hisself. [to the horse] Geeyah! SOUND HORSE TAKES OFF FANSHAW Scotty? Can you hear me? 10_YOU STAY COMMANDER Let's clean this up - leave none of them to try and harm the town. CORPORAL Yessir! Should we capture them, or-- COMMANDER This is no time to be peaceable. They set themselves up to attack a settlement, and we have to take serious measures. SOUND HORSE APPROACHING LEM [distant] Commander! COMMANDER Let him through. [up, to Lem] Looks like we've got nearly all of them. SOUND GUNSHOTS DISTANT COMMANDER A bit of tidying up to do, but-- SOUND HORSE PULLS UP and STOPS LEM [to horse] Whoah! I overheard a couple at the back, saying they had a force circlin south - dozen men mebbe - to get round any resistance and come up behind. COMMANDER My god! LEM Horse up a few good men, load em up and come with me. COMMANDER You, boy! BOY Yessir? COMMANDER Bring my horse, quickly! LEM You're needed here, surely? COMMANDER You're the one who needs a rest, mister Roberts. My corporal, here, will be happy to hear any other suggestions you might have, but I will be leading my men. LEM Sound thinkin. I have been going a bit. COMMANDER Corporal? CORPORAL [acknowledging] Yes sir. FANSHAW Lem? I think I got through to Scotty, but there's such a distance. Poor lad, he merely wants to do his duty. SOUND LEM DISMOUNTS LEM Let's you and I see if we cain't root out a few more of these varmints. I see purty well in the dark. CORPORAL Excellent! FANSHAW I'll see what I can turn up. GRISHAM Found you! FANSHAW Oh, damn! GRISHAM You ain't never getting away from me, you-- FANSHAW [hits out] GRISHAM [ungh!] FANSHAW Have to get him out of here, Lem. Too distracting. SOUND FANSHAW LEAVES GRISHAM [laughs triumphantly] Coward! But I don't suppose I should be surprised. LEM [quietly, but deadly serious] You don't stop making a fuss, I'm gon' kill your horse. GRISHAM What? LEM You sit still and be quiet or that horse yer so attached to is gonna find itself on the wrong end of a bullet. You hear me? GRISHAM [all the bluster gone] LEM I don't fancy killin no animal just fer this, but this here's a battle-- SOUND GUNSHOT LEM [gasp, hit!] Damn! SOUND QUICKDRAW, GUNS BLAZE GRISHAM Hah! I still gotcha! LEM [weakening, through gritted teeth] Din't no one see them a-sneakin up? CORPORAL [commanding] Men! SOUND MORE GUNSHOTS LEM [groan] SOUND BODY DROP AS HE COLLAPSES END NEXT EPISODE BEGINS SOUND FADES IN AND OUT COMMANDER Hold on, there, fellow. LEM [vague] all's well? COMMANDER We got em. LEM My pack? COMMANDER I'll set someone to finding it. FADE OUT DOCTOR Bite down on this. He's lost a lot of blood. FADE OUT BOOTMAKER I'll have a new pair ready before he'll be walking anywhere on them. You sure I should even bother--? FADEOUT WOMAN Just a little bit of broth, mister. You need to get some o'yer strength back. SICKROOM LEM [annoyed moan] FANSHAW You're awake. LEM [quiet] Anyone--? FANSHAW Not close enough to hear - as long as you stay quiet. LEM I been shot? FANSHAW At least twice, judging by the bandages. Once in the chest, once in the leg, I should say. I should have been watching. LEM [reassuring] Can't leave you to do everythin. FANSHAW [awkward pause, then stiffly] Should I ...go? LEM Go? go where? FANSHAW [covering] I - I mean, leave you in peace. To rest. I don't doubt you will still be needing a great deal of it. LEM [straining a bit] Did you see, did it go alla way through? FANSHAW I don't know, but you were very fortunate - or so the doctor declared. LEM [satisfied] FANSHAW I'll leave you to your rest, then, shall I? LEM Go or stay, I ain't so wrung out I cain't tell you got somethin on yer mind. FANSHAW LEM Is it that female ghost o'yours yer frettin over? FANSHAW [bracing breath] LEM [exasperated snort] Yer worried she said sumpin, izzat it? FANSHAW LEM [playing it up a bit] You furriners and the trifles that plague you. FANSHAW So she did--? LEM [shrug] So? FANSHAW [surprised] So? LEM You cain't be the first. FANSHAW First? LEM Nor the last, like enough. FANSHAW But it... doesn't... bother you? LEM Well, you don't do it no more. FANSHAW .. don't? LEM 'sides, plenty of little fellers wet up the bed right up til they'us in long pants. FANSHAW What? END
TVC 584.2: Part 2 of a conversation that began on our last program with Jay Moriarty, longtime producer of The Jeffersons, one of the longest-running shows in the entire Norman Lear canon. Jay's memoir, Honky in the House, takes readers behind the scenes of Tandem Productions and shows why Norman Lear was, and is, one of the most courageous producers in television. Topics this segment include Zara Cully's portrayal of Mother Jefferson and how close the cast of The Jeffersons was, on and off camera. Jay Moriarty's new book, Deadeye, pays homage to Roy Rogers, The Lone Ranger, The Cisco Kid, and other favorite movie and TV cowboys. Want to advertise/sponsor our show? TV Confidential has partnered with AdvertiseCast to handle advertising/sponsorship requests for the podcast edition of our program. They're great to work with and will help you advertise on our show. Please email sales@advertisecast.com or click the link below to get started: https://www.advertisecast.com/TVConfidentialAradiotalkshowabout Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
TVC 583.7: Ed, Tony, Donna, and writer/producer Jay Moriarty (The Jeffersons, All in the Family) discuss the memorable episode of All in the Family that not only introduced Beatrice Arthur as Edith's cousin Maude, but paved the way for the Maude spinoff series. Jay's memoir, Honky in the House, takes you behind the scenes of not only The Jeffersons, but Tandem Productions in general. His new book, Deadeye, pays homage to Roy Rogers, The Lone Ranger, The Cisco Kid, and other favorite movie and TV cowboys. Want to advertise/sponsor our show? TV Confidential has partnered with AdvertiseCast to handle advertising/sponsorship requests for the podcast edition of our program. They're great to work with and will help you advertise on our show. Please email sales@advertisecast.com or click the link below to get started: https://www.advertisecast.com/TVConfidentialAradiotalkshowabout Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
TVC 583.5: Ed, Tony, Donna, and writer, producer, and author Jay Moriarty (The Jeffersons, All in the Family, Honky in the House) discuss how episodes such as “The Draft Dodger,” “Florence's Problem,” and “The First Store” are just a few examples of Norman Lear's trademark balancing of uproarious comedy with serious topical issues. Jay's memoir, Honky in the House, takes you behind the scenes of not only The Jeffersons, but Tandem Productions in general. His new book, Deadeye, pays homage to Roy Rogers, The Lone Ranger, The Cisco Kid, and other favorite movie and TV cowboys. Want to advertise/sponsor our show? TV Confidential has partnered with AdvertiseCast to handle advertising/sponsorship requests for the podcast edition of our program. They're great to work with and will help you advertise on our show. Please email sales@advertisecast.com or click the link below to get started: https://www.advertisecast.com/TVConfidentialAradiotalkshowabout Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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