Leaving The Valley

In the conclusion of our chat with Dr. Kathryn Hope Gordon, author of “The Suicidal Thoughts Workbook,” we examine one of the leading causes for suicidal thinking: the end of a relationship. It is well understood that people who perceive themselves as alone are at a higher risk for suicidal thinking. Dr. Gordon explains how the perception of “feeling isolated” can sometimes be different than outward appearance might suggest. Well-loved, highly popular people die by suicide. There is often a tendency for those close to an individual who is struggling to dismiss the risk of suicide. We explore why that can occur and some of the more empathetic ways to connect to a person in need.

We often discuss that the road to meaningful change involves putting one foot in front of the other day after day.  This is true for long term goals like learning a new language, for example. You practice a bit each day and gradually become better. This is especially true of mental health goals, like managing and even overcoming suicidal thoughts. In this episode we had the opportunity to chat with Dr. Kathryn Hope Gordon about “The Suicidal Thoughts Workbook." Dr. Gordon's book creates practical tools for people to use on an “as needed” basis to develop more positive self-thinking.

We continue Part II of our conversation with Clara Rosenzweig, Director of Vecino Health Centers, a low cost/no cost mental health provider in Houston, Texas. Vecino Health emphasizes care in a person's native language and serves a predominantly Latin American population. Clara describes the need for services like the one's provided by Vecino Health and some of the cultural stigmas that may prevent LatinX individuals from asking for help.

We look at the Mexican tradition of Dia de los Muertos. Our special guest, Clara Rosenzweig, Licensed Professional Counselor and Director of Vecino Health Centers, shares memories of growing up in Mexico. Clara recalls the customs she participated in at that time of year. Dia de los Muertos is steeped in traditions around honoring loved ones who have passed. As a podcast about mental health, we couldn't help but reflect on how suicide often complicates the memory of our loved ones. How is honoring our lost loved ones changed by a suicide? Not just for Latin Americans, but for everyone grieving a self-inflicted loss.

In the conclusion of our talk with Fire Captain Scott Shaunfield, we zoom out and look at the broader effects of traumatic stress on First Responders. We ask Capt. Shaunfield to illuminate the damage this work-related condition creates, not just on himself, but on the men and women he serves with. We look at well-supported research that describes what exposure to suicide does to increase suicidal ideation. The number one cause of death for First Responders is not line of duty deaths. It's suicide.

In one of our most heartfelt and difficult conversations, we talk with Fire Captain Scott Shaunfield about what it's like to arrive on the scene of a suicide. First Responders' jobs include responding to everything from burning buildings, car wrecks, and even suicide attempts. Responding to a suicide is a traumatic event for First Responders and often leaves a lasting effect. Additionally, there is a cumulative toll to experiencing so many different suicides and suicide attempts that puts First Responders at a greater risk for suicide themselves. The guilt and pain that occurs after losing someone to suicide affects First Responders too. Captain Shaunfield describes his own personal history with suicide.

"No one will miss me when I'm gone." This is absolutely FALSE. When someone dies, whether by suicide or other causes, we always mourn them. Grief, rage, sadness, etc. are incredibly common when there is a loss. In terms of suicide, it is categorically untrue to think that your death would somehow go unnoticed. Suicides bring on all the emotions associated with loss and have an extra helping of guilt. Perhaps when someone is saying, "no one will miss me," what they really are saying is "I am feeling so isolated." Another example of what "no one will miss me" could really mean is a feeling that you are a burden.

We continue our conversation about the purpose and function of 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. As with our prior episode, we take a hard look at some of the opinions shared in a post about 988. In exploring the ideas of this post, we hope to clarify some of the misconceptions expressed and also offer context. In this episode, we jump right in on a comment about psych wards. Lastly, we zoom in on the emphasis on asking “What does help look like for you?” When is it appropriate to focus on that question and when do you have to be more concerned about keeping someone alive?

One of our absolute favorite things is getting feedback from our audience. In today's episode, we discuss an online post that an audience member shared with us about 988, the new Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, which we discussed in our last episode. In this post, there are a lot of statements about what 988 is and what will happen if you call it. Like any good social media content, there are some views we agree with and others that we find problematic. What's the internet for if not to stir the pot?! In this episode, we go on the record about the ideas in the post that we agree and disagree with.

Major mental health news! The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline has a new 3-digit phone number, 988. This is a huge victory for mental health advocates! This new number is much easier to remember than the previous 1-800 number. It also marks a tremendous influx of funding from the Biden administration to create and expand call centers and secondary call centers, call centers in Spanish, and improved website chat room functionality. In addition to a new number, even the name has changed. It's now called “988 Suicide & Prevention Lifeline.”

We continue our heartfelt conversation in part II of our chat with special guest, Dennis Gillan. Dennis has the unfortunate distinction of having lost two brothers to suicide over the span of eleven years. Though Dennis has known true hardship, one thing that sticks out when you speak with him is that he still holds on to great hope. Dennis mentions time and again that he "had to keep living." In order to keep going, he had to find a way to live through his pain and regain joy.

Losing one brother to suicide is an unimaginable grief. Our guest today, Dennis Gillan, lost two brothers to suicide over the span of 11 years. Dennis has transformed his misery into his mission and now runs a suicide prevention organization called Half a Sorrow Foundation. As a junior in college, the last thing in the world that was on Dennis' mind was death, but then he got a call from his sister to return home. Their eldest brother, Mark, had died by suicide. Eleven years after Mark died, Dennis's younger brother, Matthew, also ended his life. Dennis describes the impossible task of trying to pick up the pieces, seeking professional mental healthcare for himself, and his decision to finally share his experience with others. 

In part two of our series on LGBTQ+ youth and their elevated risk for suicide, we finish our chat with Austin Davis Ruiz (he/him) of the Montrose Center. Austin shares both the hard hitting facts and his own personal experience with the challenges LGBTQ+ youth face today. From bullying, to the stresses of the pandemic, to homelessness, we explore what makes LGBTQ+ youth more at risk for depression and suicide. Importantly, we also discuss ways we can support this vulnerable population.

When we discuss groups that are more at risk for suicide, amongst the most vulnerable, are LGBTQ+ youth. LGBTQ+ young people are more than 4 times as likely to attempt suicide as their peers. We talk with Austin Davis Ruiz (he/him) of the Montrose Center about the myriad of reasons LGBTQ+ youth face such high risk of suicide.

What happens after you survive two suicide attempts? In part II of our chat with Jay Shifman, public speaker and host of the "Choose Your Struggle" podcast, we talk about his road to recovery. Jay describes the days after his unsuccessful attempts to end his life, the time he spent in a hospital, and then a very difficult stretch in a rehab facility. Today, Jay continues his work to raise awareness and end the stigma that surrounds mental health and addiction.

What happens if the medicines you're prescribed are actually making you worse, not better? What happens if the doctor you turn to for help isn't helping? Our guest, Jay Shifman, public speaker and host of the "Choose Your Struggle" podcast, shares his long journey back to himself.  As an adolescent, Jay was diagnosed as bipolar. The medicines he was prescribed to treat his disease led him to years of prescription drug misuse, addiction, and two suicide attempts. Jay is not bipolar, but it took years of struggle and nearly dying for Jay to finally figure that out.

What does the research behind suicide help us understand about those who end their lives? In this episode, we discuss how isolation, feeling like you're a burden, and access to means overlap to become a lethal recipe for some people. We look at how impulsivity factors into suicidal ideation as well as things like substance misuse, mental illness, and trauma. Additionally, we discuss how in repeated studies, as countries modernize, rates of depression and suicide rise. What does living in a more industrialized world do to our mental health and why?

Oh my, it's episode 51! Wow! We have learned so much on suicide prevention that we wanted to pause for a moment and recap. Suicide is a taboo topic. Incredibly common, but rarely discussed openly. The goal of this show has been to raise the level of discourse on suicide. How can we prevent it, if we don't know what we're looking for? In this episode, we discuss what we've learned thus far and what some of the biggest revelations for us have been.

In part two of our conversation on suicide prevention in juvenile detention centers, Dr. Leah Saulter, describes the limited resources and high burnout rates of staff. Suicide alerts require extra attention. For some young people, manipulating the staff may be a cure for boredom or an opportunity for secondary gain. However, many of the threats are legitimate, and, even if the threat of suicide is a form of manipulation, it can still be a highly dangerous ploy. Additionally, you cannot talk about suicide rates in youth correctional institutions and not ask yourself, "How did these young people wind up in these spaces to begin with?" 47.4% of youth in the Texas Juvenile Justice System have had four or more Adverse Childhood Events. 

Suicide is the number one cause of death in the juvenile justice system. Though the numbers of completed suicides annually are relatively low, suicide attempts and threats of suicide in the juvenile justice system are high. In this episode, we talk with Dr. Leah Saulter, Psychologist, who specializes in trauma. Dr. Saulter has spent years working with young men in detention centers in Texas and Ohio. We ask Dr. Saulter about the mental health of young people in the justice system. We also discuss what has happened to these young people that would lead them to imprisonment at such a young age.

If rich, famous, beautiful people can die by suicide, what does that mean for the rest of us?  The recent suicide of Cheslie Kryst, Miss USA 2019, was shocking. Research supports that after a high-profile person dies by suicide, rates of suicide also go up. Additionally, there is a cost to fame. It is harder for well-known figures to ask just anyone for support, even when they're in danger. There is enormous pressure to stay at the top and high levels of fame can be extremely isolating. Much of what we are taught is that if you work hard and are successful, then you will be happy.  What does it mean when a celebrity like Ms. Kryst, who was so successful, was also so unhappy?

In part two of our conversation, we look at how anger may be a part of the grieving process when we lose someone to suicide. Anger is a normal stage in processing loss. When suicide is involved, anger may be directed at the individual who died, or at another friend or family member, and even at yourself for failing to prevent the death. Additionally, we discuss considerations for how anger may affect some of our most vulnerable groups. What should we be aware of in terms of red flags for anger in groups that already have high levels of suicidal thoughts?  Lastly, we talk about the term "anger management." What does that really mean?

We often think of depression as a possible symptom for suicide, but anger can also become lethal. Excessive anger is often a sign of depression. In fact, anger is usually a mask we wear to hide how sad or disappointed we feel. Most of us are more comfortable sharing that we are mad rather than sharing that we have become depressed. These stigmas about anger and sadness often prevent us from properly assessing when someone is at risk for suicide. If we are unaware of the relationship between anger and suicide, we may miss the signals that someone we love is hurting.

It's a new year…again?! So why does it feel a little like nothing's changed? The idea of “resolution” means that something has ended, but for many of us the reality of COVID-19 is still not over. In that case, does it even make sense to make a resolution? Whether acknowledged or not, change happens to each of us. Our advice is to take some stock of what you are grateful for. If your resolution is about improving your mental health, working with a therapist could be an amazing tool to achieving that goal. Additionally, if you're feeling down, don't forget the value of helping those less fortunate than you.

Can therapy ever be harmful? That's the question that first sprang to my mind when talking with an acquaintance about her problematic experiences in counseling. Asking for help is hard. There is a tremendous stigma that surrounds speaking with a therapist. In some examples, working with a therapist who is a bad fit for you can even be harmful. It can inflict new psychological damage and be re-traumatizing. If your counselor is judgmental, unavailable, or a bad listener, perhaps it is time to work with someone else.

It's the most wonderful time of the year... or is it? There is so much to do and so little time to do it. Let's face it, the holidays are tough. Whether you're navigating tricky family dynamics or simply feeling overwhelmed by the pressure of finding the perfect gift, many of us experience the holiday blues. What are some ways we can cope with the stresses of this time of year?

In the conclusion of our conversation with Sergeant Aaron Quinonez (Sgt. Q), we learn about his long road towards getting diagnosed with PTSD and his advice for anyone dealing with a mental health crisis. Additionally, Sgt. Q shares his insights on how the faith-based community can better support those struggling with mental health issues. Also, we ask Sgt. Q for his list of things NOT to do when going through a hard time.

In this special episode, we talk with Sergeant Aaron Quinonez (Sgt. Q) about his personal journey in overcoming childhood trauma, homelessness, two tours of duty in Iraq, PTSD, and suicidal ideation to living a life of service and mental health advocacy. Sgt. Q has turned his experiences with trauma into a calling, helping fellow veterans find healing through his award winning non-profit, Q-Missions. Sgt. Q recalls his early childhood trauma and how it further impacted his time serving in Iraq. He candidly discusses what it is like to suffer from PTSD. He explains the feeling of inadequacy that led him to becoming suicidal and how a small action by a friend served as the intervention in suicidal thoughts.

Shame around suicide is pervasive and exists in many different forms. We may feel ashamed if we lost someone to suicide. We may feel shame if we've ever had suicidal thoughts. We sometimes even use shame as a tactic to try and stop someone from taking their own life. We talk with Dr. Jana Tran, psychologist, about shame. Dr. Tran has spent many years serving high-risk groups for suicide through her work at the VA and serving First Responders at the Houston Fire Department. Dr. Tran examines the message "suicide is selfish." It is harder to seek help when there is no safe space to talk about how badly you feel without getting shamed. Additionally, those who have lost someone to suicide may also feel ashamed. (However unwarranted those feelings may be).

Why do some people claim, "Therapy didn't work for me"? In part two of our series, we discuss some of the issues that stand in the way of success in therapy. Some quit before they've really given the process a chance or are inconsistent about therapy. Additionally, people are often reluctant to seek help, believing they can relying on friends and family for support. If you are suicidal, it is highly unlikely that your loved ones know enough about mental health to provide the exact support you need. If you want to benefit from therapy, be consistent, be honest, and be willing to do your homework. Spend some time researching therapists in your area. Not every therapist is perfect for every person. Sometimes we are put off from seeking therapy because the thought of sharing can feel unbearable. Finding the right counselor will involve opening up. 

We've heard it before. "Therapy can't work for me! My problems are too complicated!" Or "My friends know me better." Or a million other reasons why people are skeptical to reach out to a mental health professional. In terms of suicide prevention, you've got to be willing to give help a chance. It's quite common for people, even suicidal people, to drop out of therapy after only a couple of sessions.  Like any other endeavor, in order for therapy to be successful, you've got to put in the work. Research backs this up. Therapy can benefit everyone, including you. 

Suicide is a leading cause of death for moms within the first year of childbirth. Many people have a hard time understanding how a new mom could contemplate taking her own life. However, there are many parts of being a new parent that overlap with conditions that are known to increase the likelihood of a suicide attempt. Lack of sleep, stress, feeling isolated, feeling like the situation is hopeless, or that you are somehow a burden are hugely related to suicidal thoughts. Additionally, giving birth can be a triggering experience and bring up unresolved trauma from the past. Many new parents may have a preexisting mental health condition that can put them at greater risk for developing Postpartum Depression or Postpartum Anxiety which may also increase their likelihood for suicidal thoughts. 

In the third part of our conversation with Sherry Duson from the Center for Postpartum Family Health, we focus on some of the most hot button issues for new parents. For example, breastfeeding versus formula, infertility, and marital satisfaction post-child. These issues can be deeply polarizing. The strong emotions around these topics may prevent many new parents from speaking up when confronted with challenges. In general, the less people are able to talk about their struggles the more isolated they may become. We know isolation is hugely related to suicidal thought.  Being a new parent is already pretty lonely. Long nights, lack of sleep, and the pressures of being a "perfect" parent are often overwhelming. Many commonplace challenges for parents can contribute to PMADs (Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorders).

In this episode, we continue to explore the relationship between Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorders (PMADs) and suicide with our guest Sherry Duson.  Sherry is the founder and director of The Center for Postpartum Family Health in Houston, TX. She shares her knowledge on the sense of shame some women feel around the struggles of being a new mom. In those moments, it is easy to feel isolated and to get trapped in a train of thought that says you are an unfit mother. We know that feeling isolated is related to suicidal thoughts.

Suicide is a leading cause of maternal death in the first year following childbirth. Yet, the importance of postpartum mental health is rarely discussed during pregnancy. Some moms get the "Baby Blues," others may develop Postpartum Depression or Postpartum Anxiety.  Let's talk about Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorders (PMADs) and how it relates to maternal suicide. We have a special guest with us for this episode, Sherry Duson. Sherry is the Founder and Director of The Center for Postpartum Family Health in Houston, TX. Sherry gives us insight into why so many new moms feel blindsided by the transition into motherhood. She also talks about the symptoms of Postpartum Depression, Postpartum Anxiety, and other disorders that may occur during pregnancy and in the postpartum period.

We continue our conversation with Whitcomb Terpening of The Semicolon Group on grieving the loss of a loved one to suicide. In this episode, we focus on the idea of how you "should" remember someone who ended their own life. In general, when someone passes we don't normally focus on the way they died. If someone has a heart attack, we don't typically dwell on the fact that their heart gave out. However, with suicide, many people narrow in on the manner of the individual's death. This may be, in part, because many people feel a degree of responsibility or guilt when someone they care about dies by suicide. How can we grapple with these feelings?

We've spent the majority of our podcast covering suicide prevention. This week, we're focusing on mourning the loss of someone to suicide. Particularly, we're looking at feelings of grief. We have a special guest with us this week, Whitcomb Terpening - Licensed Clinical Social Work Supervisor. Grief is a normal part of mourning any death. However, when someone dies of suicide, grief may be complicated by feelings of guilt, responsibility, anger, or shame. Society frowns on discussing suicide. This may leave those who are already grieving a suicide even more isolated. Additionally, there is often a faulty idea of a "timeline" by which we should be done grieving.

As people re-enter their workplaces after over a year of social distancing, it is inevitable that our mental health needs may look a little different than they did before the pandemic. Employers may need to be more sensitive towards the emotional needs of their employees and this may include an emphasis on suicide prevention. Even on the job there are things we can do to prevent suicide. If you notice a co-worker is struggling, it is appropriate to check-in with them. Many people fear asking if someone is suicidal. It is much harder to live with the feelings of regret for not taking red flags seriously than the temporary discomfort of one awkward conversation. Some jobs have higher risks of suicide amongst employees. In every office, but especially for high-risk professions, there must be an emphasis on preventing suicide from the top down. 

Our mission on Leaving The Valley is to help reduce suicides. You simply cannot have a conversation about suicide prevention and not talk about firearms. Accessibility of a firearm leads to an increased risk of suicide. Over half of all suicides occur with a firearm. Additionally, the majority of deaths caused by guns are suicide (Not homicides.) The decision to end one's life is often impulsive. When a firearm is accessible, people may impulsively use it in a suicide attempt. When a weapon is used in a suicide attempt, it is almost always lethal.

Unfortunately, 15% of people with a mental illness will die by suicide. Mental illness is a real illness and widely misunderstood. Like any major illness, if left untreated, having a mental illness can be fatal. We wanted to talk with experts on this subject, so we consulted with Dr. Mitch and Dr. Sharon Young. They are a husband and wife team with over four decades of expertise in treating those with mental illness. In this episode, we discuss what mental illness is, how to treat it, and how to prevent suicide for those with mental illness.

On average, 17 Veterans die a day from suicide, making them one of the most high-risk group for suicide. Many Veterans have experienced long absences from family, which may present challenges when they return home after leaving the military. Some may be suffering from PTSD or substance use. Others may be returning to rural environments, which can be far from services that they need. In this episode, we sit down with Brent Arnspiger, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Suicide Prevention Coordinator at Veterans Affairs (VA) in Houston. Arnspiger shares the robust resources the VA provides for Veterans struggling with suicide.  

Suicidal thoughts are not contagious in the way viruses or germs are, but it is well researched that suicides may occur in clusters. There is also usually a spike in the number of suicides after a well-known figure dies by suicide. People who are already struggling are the most likely to be influenced by the suicide of a celebrity or member of their community. Clusters of suicides may occur in schools, families, or among people of common backgrounds.  

One of the biggest obstacles in suicide prevention is that many people don't believe someone when they say they're suicidal. As we speak, there are people debating whether Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex, was "really" suicidal. Suicidal thoughts are incredibly common. It doesn't matter how wealthy or well-known someone is. Anyone is capable of sliding down "The Ramp" to suicide. There is a tendency to dismiss the threat of suicide.  Sometimes we dismiss someone's cries for help because we can't imagine that they'd actually follow through with it.  Other times, we may feel like an individual is just seeking attention. When we ignore cries for help, we make it that much harder to prevent suicide.

Breaking up STINKS!  It’s hard even under the best of circumstances.  After a breakup, people often describe feelings of depression, anxiety, and isolation. We know that feelings of isolation, hopelessness, and burdensomeness are related to suicidal thoughts. After a breakup, it's pretty normal to feel many of those emotions, which is why breakups can become a trigger for suicide. 

In Part II of our conversation, we explore the substantial difference in suicide rates between First Responders and the general population. Research suggests that police officers may be 50% more suicidal than the average citizen and that risk is even higher for firefighters. In fact, more firefighters die by suicide than in the line of duty. Why do we spend so much money on physically protecting our First Responders but so little on protecting their mental health? 

First Responders, such as firefighters, police, and EMS, risk their lives to respond to our emergency situations. In doing so, First Responders may see untold tragedy, experience bodily harm, lose colleagues in the line of duty, and spend tremendous amounts of time away from their families. There is a dark truth that being a First Responder means you are more likely to face thoughts of suicide. We focus a lot on First Responders’ physical health. Not enough is being done to protect the MENTAL health of the brave men and women who show up when we need them most.

2020 was an incredibly challenging year. For so many, the simple act of ringing in a new year felt like a victory. Many are cautiously optimistic that 2021 may usher in healing physically, politically, and economically. Yet, 2021 is off to a rocky start. How do we hold on to hope in light of all we still have to face? For many a new year is also a time to make resolutions, but is that even a good idea given the world we live in today?  If so, how can we make our resolutions stick?

In the conclusion of our three part series on teen mental health, our guest, Natalie Alyssa Sanchez, talks with us about the pressures teens face today and where they go for advice.  Natalie, a recent high school grad and youth mental health advocate, shares about the sometimes overwhelming pressures to be academically successful.  She also talks about how issues at home have a very real effect on teen mental health and offers some advice to parents about how to better communicate so that teens will listen. 

In Part II of our conversation with recent high school graduate and youth mental health advocate, Natalie Alyssa Sanchez, we explore how and when she first learned about suicide.  Natalie opens up about a friend of hers who practiced self-harm in middle school and later admitted that he was suicidal. We explore how to help a peer in danger, the pressure to keep their “secret,” and attention seeking behavior.

In this special episode, we invite a guest onto our show to help us better understand the mental health needs of teens today.  Our guest, Natalie Alyssa Sanchez, recent high school graduate and teenage mental health advocate, opens up about the pressures of academic life and the challenges of navigating complex friendships.  She also shares her experience of how COVID-19 has affected her and her peers and positive and negative coping strategies. 

In the conclusion of our three part series on youth suicide, we share info specific to the mental health needs of young adults.  As kids head off to college or move out of the house, there are often different mental health challenges that can arise.  While some young adults settle into their new independence, others have a much harder time adjusting, especially if they have a diagnosed mental illness or have needed extra care and attention to thrive. We also go over questions from our audience about things every parent should know about suicide prevention, regardless of the age of their child.