On Being Happier: Thinking with Heart and Mind

Show Notes for Episode 27  Our social media engagement adds value to our lives, at least that's what it's supposed to do. This episode explores some of the hidden aspects of social media that affect our experience and our children's encounters. Exercises: Ways to think about the ideas developed in the episode: 1) The episode reviews several ways screens capture our attention, including the power in the machines themselves and the ways advertisers and creators use bells, whistles, and notifications to keep us engaged.          a) How do you combat these powerful pulls?          b) How do you protect your children? 2) Calming and entertaining children are important human activities.          a) How do you see your role?          b) What roles do screens play in your house? 3) Childhood play is an important activity, one that evolves into the capacity to later enjoy our own lives. Screens, the episode suggests, negatively impacts childhood play.          a) Does this make sense?          b) How do you combat this effect? 4) Being able to listen to others, especially during uncomfortable times, allows us to make human connections.          a) What do you think of this idea?          b) How do you work at developing it?  

Physician burnout is a widespread problem, and it can be reversed. This episode shows how thinking with heart and mind opens the door. Reversing physician burnout is vitally important to each of us. We are all patients. Exercises for interested physicians based on the episode: 1) What would you like your patients to say about your medical practice? How close are you to being that physician? What would you have to change? 2) Should thinking with the heart play a role in medicine? How much of a role does heart-based thinking play in your practice? 3) Do you think there is value in preparing for a patient visit? How would you score yourself? What would you have to change? 4) Do you think you should spend less time in front of a screen during your patient encounters? Could you change this? 5) How well do you control visit time? Are you generally late? How could you get better at this?

Show Notes for Episode 25 Mental well-being partially depends on how we feel about ourselves independent of our actions. This episode offers ways to strengthen this aspect of our mental well-being.   Exercises based on the episode: 1) Appreciate the idea that you are lovable and deserving of love, independent of anyone's words or actions. 2) How differently you would feel if you knew you were loved for who you are? 3) How many different ways could you open to love?4) What using love as a tool mean to you. How could you change your life using this tool? Note: Click this to hear episode 9a.

Show Notes for Episode 24  Mental well-being partially depends on how we feel about our relationships and our handling of the practical details of life. This episode offers ways to strengthen this aspect of our mental well-being.   Exercises based on the episode: 1) Think about your life's practical affairs. Do you often feel personal failure when outer events don't go your way? a) If this is a pattern, imagine letting go of this way of responding to your life's challenges. b) If you see value in making this change, work at implementing this and at healing old scars. Change takes time. That's ok. 2) Think about your relationships. Do you generally stay in them longer than you should? Do you avoid relationships because you've gotten burned? a) If these are patterns, imagine letting go of them. Would this be better? b) If these changes would make your life better, examine your reasons for staying in / avoiding relationships. Think about how you'd like to manage         your relationships. Once you have a clear idea of the changes you'd like to    make, work on implementing them. 3) Develop antennae for sensing when your relationships are in trouble. Note: You can work at these exercises with a mental health professional.

Is it possible to maintain differing viewpoints and, at the same time, not lose our human connection? This episode says it's not only possible, it's important and provides insights into maintaining these bonds. Exercises for Episode 23 1) Remember a time when you interacted with a group of people without knowing their political views. Chose a positive experience. This could be a memory of a vacation, a work experience, or it could be from childhood. a) Split this group into two and arbitrarily assign each to opposing political parties. Would it be harder to play as enjoyably with this political knowledge? b) Would you interact as freely? Would you enjoy the group less?   2) Understanding another: How many people understand you … really understand you? How many understand you pretty well Do you wish people understood your better? Do you feel closer to those who understand you? How many people do you try to understand? How would you expand this? What would happen if you expanded this?

Show Notes for Episode 22   When we use heart and mind to think through our relationships with our partners, spouses, children, and parents we can create richer and deeper connections. We are fully ourselves. It's the art of living well.  An exercise: review the key points in the episode Partners and spouses: • Remember that we chose to live together to enhance our lives. • Consider regular meetings to discuss the specific challenges of living together. Spouses:   • Trusting each other with your hearts Children: • Raising them to be strong in themselves and               to be caring and compassionate   • When they are out of your house, drop all               criticism about how they live their lives Parents   • They might still see you as a child. Accept that.   • Allow them to be the way they are. Enjoy them.  

Show Notes Episode 20: Thinking through relationships with heart and mind (part 1 0f 3) The following story typifies one aspect of thinking through relationships with heart and mind. It also sets the stage for the next two episodes: Yesterday a third-year medical student came to my office to work with me. The first two years of medical school are in the classroom. Students learn about the body, in health and disease. They spend the second two years with patients, learning to apply what they'd learned. Pediatrics was his first clinical rotation, and this was his first day. “Do you know what you want to do in medicine?” I asked “I think I want to be a surgeon.” ‘How did you decide to go to medical school?” “The idea occurred to me late in college. I was a psychology major. One day I realized that I was going to be a psychologist because my mom is a psychologist. I respect her so much that I wanted to be like her. After appreciating that, I thought about what interested me. Biology was my real interest, and I knew I wanted to go to medical school.” “Surgeons can be very impersonal, pompous, even conceited,” I said. Their work, to them, is almost art. They see what needs to be done, and they apply their skill and ability to the task. When I was in medical school, a surgeon's comment highlighted this attitude. “Internists,” he said, “stand around and talk about problems. Surgeons fix them.” “You can avoid developing this standoffish attitude,” I went on. “by bringing the warmth and goodness you revere in your mom into your practice. If you become a surgeon with this ideal, you will be a different doctor. You'll be true to yourself and to what you value most.”      

We can have better, fuller, and richer relationships by using what we learned about about working through our emotions and feelings and applying it to our relationships. Exercises based on the episode's content: Exercise 1: Remember a time when you were criticized without your asking for negative comments. How did it feel? Were the comments helpful? Did they make you feel closer to the person who criticized you?               Why? / Why not? Exercise 2: Remember a time when you were given advice you didn't ask for.          Was that advice helpful?          Were you happy to receive it?          Did it bring you closer ?                   Why? / Why not? Exercise 3: Remember a time when you were feeling inner pain and others tried to help by offering generalized positives.          Were these comments helpful?          Did they bring you closer ?                   Why? / Why not? Exercise 4: Do you commonly criticize others, even when you're not asked for your opinion? Do you commonly give advice when you're not asked for it? Do you regularly try to cheer up others who are hurting by telling them they are strong or there is meaning to their difficulties? If these don't help, are you willing to change? Practice not criticizing when not asked for a comment. Practice not giving advice when not asked for it. Practice holding the space for another. Be with them when they are hurting. Exercise 5: Does such holding back seem like a loving act? Does holding back from unasked for comments and criticisms make you feel better? Does such holding back build richer and deeper relationships.? As you practice this regularly, do you feel better? Does it build better relationships? With time, does a place of joy open in you?    

Love uplifts and strengthens. Its power works through everyday life. It's the art of living well. 

Show Notes:   Episode 17: Working through emotion and feelings with heart and mind (1 of 2)  Exercises used to review the episode's content Exercise 1: Allow yourself to fully experience your emotions. Exercise 2: As your emotions and feelings arise, note their origins. Are they from past hurts, frustration from present events, or are due to loss? Exercise 3: Explore the idea that love lives within and that wisdom is another name for love. If love is basic to being human, wisdom is too. How differently would you live if love and wisdom were built your life? Note: The idea is not to believe these ideas, but to think them through.    

Show Notes:   Episode 16: Trusting life: A spiritual journey with heart and mind  Exercises for reviewing the episode's content Exercise 1: Love is transcendent. The love one feels for a child, for example, crosses culture and time. That's how it is with love from the heart, the love associated with compassion. Does this make sense to you? Exercise 2: We are containers for love. If love lives within us and passes through us, we are connected to the transcendent aspect of love. Do these statements make sense to you? Exercise 3: Wisdom is another name for love. If we love a pet, we treat it with a love that's thoughtful and caring, a love that's wise. How has wisdom guided you in your most loving relationships? Exercise 4: As you look back at your life, do you see times where love and wisdom were at work? If you see love and wisdom behind the scenes in one setting, then love / wisdom has to be present in all settings and circumstances. Could it be otherwise? Exercise 5: I should be able to drop worry if love is always with me, not because everything works out well, but because I'm not alone. Does this make sense? Exercise 6: Life is about growth. Have you ever grown through difficult circumstances? Did difficulties ever bring out the best and most human in you?  Can you see the possibility for wisdom in challenges and difficulties? Exercise 7: If we know that wisdom and love are present in the events in our lives — even in our most difficult ones — we can face each setting and situation with calm, presence, and focus. We can be ourselves. Does this make sense? Exercise 8: We can test the idea that our lives are filled with wisdom and love by taking the leap and living and acting as if the idea were true. If the idea holds, we should feel stronger, more competent, more loving — more fully ourselves. Do the ideas in this episode make sense to you? If so, what's stopping you from taking the leap and testing them in this way?  

Show Notes:  Episode 15: Conquering self-doubt and self-criticism with heart and mind (Part 3) Exercises for episode 15: Exercise 1: Remember a time when you felt overwhelmed because you had too much to do. This pressure could have been due to a school project, the demands of work, or trying to balance parenting and work. Besides feeling overwhelmed, how else did this make you feel? Did you enjoy such pressure? Did these feelings help you get through? Exercise 2: Think of an activity you fully enjoy, or one you used to enjoy — a craft, a sport, or a creative endeavor. Do you take lessons? Does practice make you better? Do you value your practice time? Does it increase your enjoyment of the activity? Do you wish you had more time for this activity? Pablo Casals, one of the world's great cellists, was asked why he still practiced at age 90. “Because I think I'm making progress.” Exercise 3: Think of the work that goes into healing old wounds, into forgiving yourself for your mistakes, and into living in the moment. Episode 15 describes this as a process of letting in light, developing self-compassion, and learning to feel good about ourselves. The work involved, even it's a lot of work, makes us feel better about ourselves and our lives. Does this make sense. If so, does this work more closely match how you feel when facing an overwhelming burden, or does it seem closer to the work involved in getting better at a favorite activity?        

Show Notes: Episode 14: Conquering self-doubt and self-criticism with heart and mind (Part 2 of 3) Exercises for episode 14: A review of the episode's main points.  Exercise 1: Does the idea that we think with both heart and mind make sense? Where do you think with your heart and where do you think with your mind in your everyday life?  Exercise 2: Heart and mind working together As partners —Where do you use the mind's objective thinking to carve out space for meaningful moments? Which practical matters go more smoothly when you add your heart's insights? How / where could you expand your use of the heart?   As friends — This episode tells us to follow our dreams and to enjoy life's practical gifts. It also says that our sense of well-being depends on our acting from our hearts, remembering ‘who' we are not just ‘what' we are. Does this make sense? How do these two opposites weave through your life?  As healers — How do you use heart and mind to work through challenges when life takes difficult turns? What advice about working through difficulties would you give to another that you could use? Exercise 3: Note — Work on this exercise on your own, with a friend, or with a mental health professional. Stop if memories arise that are too strong or too powerful. This work can be done safely, but wait until you feel ready. If feelings of self-doubt and self-criticism regularly fill your consciousness, seek the roots of these unpleasant voices. Did they start with the words and actions of those who abused / neglected / bullied you? Does it help to know that their words and deeds grew out of their own inadequacies and frustrations, not out of who you are? If so, how might you use this insight?                    

Show Notes:   Episode 13: Conquering self-doubt and self-criticism with heart and mind  Exercise: The exercises for this episode have one theme: think through the ideas in the episode. See if you agree with them.  1) Picture your best times with friends, loved ones, while engaged in an activity, or during prayer / meditation. Were self-doubt or self-criticism present? What would have happened to those moments if self-doubt or self-criticism entered? 2) Were those who criticized you or treated you harshly psychologically sound? If they weren't, and if your encounters with them created your negative self-images, shouldn't you be able to discard these negative self images? 3) Love passes through us when we act compassion We can experience love by opening to it. 4) Love is strengthening and it is timeless. It has the power to heal inner hurts. 5) If we can care for another, we can care for ourselves.      

Show Notes / Exercises — Episode 12:  Successful, guilt-free inner work with heart and mind                                            Play: Being a teammate Picture the benefits in being a good teammate and boosting others on your team See the various people in your life as teammates How could you help them thrive through your attitude and approach? Playfulness Look at your most difficult settings and situations Is it possible to see them differently? Could a spirit of playfulness help? Even humor?  A play on Einstein's thought experiments: Picture yourself filled with light and love This feeling has nothing to do with outer events or circumstances If necessary, start small. Feel love in the tip of your finger Don't be discouraged Don't give up Einstein's ideas took years to develop What qualities would you add to make you the person you'd like to be? Note: Consider qualities, not abilities Why did you pick these? Which ones are you already good at? Test these out in your imagination How would you bring these into play in different settings? How different would you be if you had these qualities?   Quotations Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.  — Albert Schweitzer True guilt is guilt at the obligation one owes to oneself to be oneself. False guilt is guilt felt at not being what other people feel one ought to be or assume that one is.  — R.D. Lang He who seeks rest finds boredom. He who seeks work finds rest. — Dylan Thomas  

Show Notes: Exercises for Attitude & Gratitude with Heart and Mind  Exercise one: Reviewing your attitude Consider your attitude in all the settings of our life settings Are you pleased with your attitude? Does it include your heart? If there's difference between how you'd like to be and how you are, why is this so. What stops you from being the way you'd like to be?   Exercise two: Considering gratitude Do you think there's a connection between gratitude and the heart's love? Why /why not? Think of the people involved in getting a favorite manufactured item to you. Allow a feeling of gratefulness to grow. Notice a feeling of wanting to give back. Explore your channels for giving back.   Quotations   The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes. — William James   Everything can be taken away but one thing: the last of human freedoms — to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way. — Viktor E. Frankl   “If the only prayer you said was thank you, that would be enough. — Meister Eckhart        

Show Notes: Making Decisions with Heart and Mind   Exercise one: Review your life and test the episode's idea  • Does good decision-making increase happiness? How? • Exercise two: Reviewing your decision making  • Think about these four kinds of decisions in your life. Which are you best at Which need work?  Intellectual / practical decisions. Decisions involving heart and mind First impressions  Decisions based on love and compassion   Quotations Sometimes one creates a dynamic impression by saying something, and sometimes one creates as significant an impression by remaining silent. —Dalai Lama In difficult circumstances always act on first impressions. —Leo Tolstoy Nothing happens until you decide. Make a decision and watch your life move forward. —Oprah Winfrey      

Show Notes: Bonus 9a A Daily Practice with Heart and Mind   Begin the practice before opening your eyes in the AM If you set your alarm, give myself an extra 10 minutes Turn off phone alarms without seeing any notifications Practice this, if necessary   Let in light and love Steps in Episode 9 Use an image of the sun poking through clouds Say a prayer or verse Stay with this feeling as long as you like   Cursory view of the day Glance chronologically See all the events that will be happening   Look over the day a second time This time hover more closely Look at practical details Look for helpful tips and reminders Not a ‘to do' list, it's a ‘what's doing' list Avoid getting too lost in detail, though do so if important   Pause where events seem hard. Break into two groups Don't see how I'll get things done          Discomfort connected to people See what you need to do to get through the logjams Massive schedule changes can be saved for review at a different time Save interpersonal challenges for next layer   Go through day again, looking with eyes of the heart How I want to be? Seeing interactions from the viewpoint of others Work at places of discomfort Reviewing ‘forgiveness' in Episode 5 Finding a heart-based response > see Episode 10 If stuck, ask love to join you and move on   When days or lifestyles are more about being than meeting scheduled demands Same process Focus on feeling love, on carrying love   When finished with reviews, fill yourself with light and live the day   End of day Before going to sleep, fill yourself with light Glance over the day backwards   Stop where things went particularly well Appreciate that you're loved   Stop at moments that concerned you How did you do Non-judgmentally look Think of ideas for similar situations in the future   Review situations that didn't go well Dissect them What were the problems? How could you have made it better? How could you avoid this in the future? Feel closure: you did your best Save issues that need more time, and get to them when you can   When finished, fill yourself with light and love and drift off to sleep.   Notes on process The day ahead is coming The goal is to live fully and be in flow as much as possible It's about being you Continued work has definite and real effects    

Show Notes: Rethinking Stress with Heart and Mind Exercise: Letting in Light and Love Close your eyes and think of a moment when you experienced love. Any feeling of love works here. It can be a time when you felt another's love, or it can be the feeling of love you have for another. It can also be the feeling of love you felt when with a favorite animal, or from another time in nature. The feeling of love experienced during prayer or meditation also works. Close your eyes and repeat the exercise. This time let go of the circumstances that brought the feeling of love. Simply hold onto the feeling of love. Let it fill you and let it radiate through you. Call up the feeling of love without any associated memories. You don't need to close your eyes to call up this feeling. Call it up multiple times during the day and in various settings.   Quotations I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul. William Ernest Henley, Invictus   If you really want to escape the things that harass you, what you're needing is not to be in a different place but to be a different person.  Seneca   In the wonderland of Mind, I am as free as another with sight and hearing. Helen Keller        

Show Notes: The Psychology of Heart and Mind   Look at the settings and situations of your life: Do the ideas in this episode seem true? Does thinking with the heart, with love and compassion, differ from critical analysis? Consider how thinking with heart and mind play roles in your own life?   Look at the settings and situations of your life: How much of a role does this inner judge play? How much were you judged? How often do you judge others? How does being judged feel?   NOTE: Explore without bringing up old feelings, just as an athlete can look at videos of mistakes to improve. Only go as far as you can. Do this work with a friend or a mental health professional in necessary.   Look at the settings and situations of your life Where does love play a role in your life? Have you ever experienced feeling loved? How did that feel? Have you ever done something for someone else purely out of human kindness? How did that feel? Would you enjoy your life more if you increased how much your offered kindness, caring, and compassionate insight? How might you achieve this? NOTE: You needn't make any changes. Change will naturally occur if thoughts become powerful.      Quotations  Don't condemn if you see a person has a dirty glass of water, just show them the clean glass of water that you have. When they inspect it, you won't have to say that yours is better. Elijah Muhammad, The Autobiography of Malcolm X Life is for the living. Death is for the dead. Let life be like music. And death a note unsaid Langston Hughes I believe we are here on the planet Earth to live, grow up, and do what we can to make this world a better place for all people to enjoy freedom. Rosa Parks          

Show Notes: Fining Purpose with Heart and Mind Look at the settings and situations of your life: Where can you increase practical effort? Where can you add heart? Look at the settings and situations of your life: What stops you from being more practical where it could be helpful? What stops you from being adding heart where it could be helpful? Note:  journaling, a dialogue with yourself on paper, might help here Making peace with life: Where don't you feel at peace with your life What can change that? Note: Move aside temporary difficulties to examine core aspects of your life           Make peace with these temporary difficulties             Again, journaling can help  Quotations  The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for. Fyodor Dostoyevsky Intelligence plus character — that is the goal of true education. Martin Luther King, Jr. I have seen that in any great undertaking it is not enough for a man to depend simply upon himself. Lone Man (Isna-la-wica), Teton Sioux           

Show Notes: Being Present with Heart and Mind Motivational review Look for moments in your life when you were fully present. Assess their value? Examine your encounters: Are you prepared to be present in them? Are you prepared to be open? Are you prepared to be welcoming? Think about changes: Consider the encounter you could improve What would you do differently? Notice: as you become clear about the changes you'd like top make, they will effortlessly occur. Practice being in the moment: Quiet the mind Live in the senses Listen Be the person you'd like to be with   Quotations Forever is composed of nows. Emily Dickinson   Flow, the best moments in our lives, usually occurs when a person's body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi   When the ideas are coming, I don't stop until the ideas stop because that train doesn't come along all the time. Dr. Dre    

Show Notes: Forgiving with Heart and Mind Kinds of forgiveness: Death bed > Picturing the wrong doer weakened and at the end of life Jaws of Life > Freeing ourselves from the grip of others' actions Family gathering / business meeting > making peace to protect another Rain slicker > Blocking the negative words and deeds from entering   Tools of forgiveness Compassion for those who hurt us Getting free Allowing healing to take place Dropping the need to get even Having compassion for our injured, former self Seeing our actions through another's eyes Letting go of the drive to be right Keeping safe Not giving up on a friend Quotations As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison. Nelson Mandela  Let us forgive each other – only then will we live in peace. Tolstoy Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a constant attitude. Martin Luther King, Jr.              

To listen: to hear something with thoughtful attention   Part one: Greeting another • At various times during the day, think about the people you will encounter. Imagine yourself being fully present when meeting them and appreciating who they are. • Review your recent encounters. Were you welcoming? If not, picture yourself being at your best when greeting them.  • Set aside times to practice being present when greeting another.   Part two: Practicing listening  • Set times to practice listening.  • Work to understand how the backgrounds and experiences of others led to their views and style. Questions might help you understand them better, but do so non-judgmentally • Let understanding replace criticism.   Part three: Looking for wisdom • Remember a time when someone said just the right thing to you or did just the right thing. Recall how it felt. • Remember times when you said just the right thing to someone or did just the right thing. Remember how you felt.   Quotations   The first duty of love is to listen. — Paul Tillich   Listening is about being present, not just about being quiet.  — Krista Tippett   Listen with ears of tolerance. — Rumi            

SHOW NOTES Partnering Heart and Mind   When heart and mind partner relationships deepen, we're fully present, and we're ourselves. It's the art of living well.   Part one: Decide which is your more dominant aspect, your heart's warmth and compassion or your intellect's practicality and problem-solving ability?   Part two: Partnering heart and mind Explore with the stronger of the two: Examine the value in this aspect of your self. See its role in your most important activities and relationships. Appreciate the gifts brought by this aspect of your self. Mow assess the weaker of the two: If it were stronger, what practical changes would you make? If it were stronger, how would you change would your relationships?   Part three: Partner heart and mind to feel good about yourself, to like yourself. With your heart's compassion. Look past your faults, shortcomings, and mistakes. Embrace your less than perfect self. You have lots of time for self-improvement, but liking yourself has nothing to do with self-improvement. See past your shortcomings, faults, and mistakes. Examine your strengths. Find the qualities that make you who you are Your large and small successes Include your strivings Honor and validate who you are and who you hope to be   Feel good about yourself. Stand in the present moment, ready for whatever life brings.     Quotations  I have never met a person whose greatest need was anything other than real, unconditional love. It is the common fiber of life, the flame that heats our soul, energizes our spirit and supplies passion to our lives. — Elisabeth Kubler-Ross  Do your little bit of good where you are; it's those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world. —Desmond Tutu How lovely to think that no one need wait a moment, we can start now, start slowly changing the world! How lovely that everyone, great and small, can make their contribution toward introducing justice straightaway... And you can always, always give something, even if it is only kindness! — Anne Frank

Lead with the Heart When we lead with the heart we embrace the other. Part one: Picture the events of your day: Where do you work at being your best? Where do you know you should work at being your best but don't? Where don't you even consider being at your best? Note: Being honest and don't judge yourself.   Part two: What ‘being at your best' means? Consider the practical changes you know you should make. Consider the changes in attitude you know you should make. What does ‘being at your best' mean in your various life settings — what you think, not others?   Part three: Picture yourself at your best. Imagine that you've made the above changes. Picture your day's upcoming events and see yourself at your best Think about these and then just live your life. Change will occur. Quotations How noble and good everyone could be if, every evening before falling asleep, they were to recall to their minds the events of the whole day and consider exactly what has been good and bad. Then without realizing it, you try to improve yourself at the start of each new day. — Anne Frank   Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. — Maya Angelou   Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

 Think with the Heart Part one: Look at your relationships and at the events of your life: Look for people that upset you Look at the frustrating situations See the ones you cannot change, or will take time to change Don't relive the upset or frustration, just note it. Part two: Look at the relationships and events you cannot change — the driver who cuts you off, the boss / supervisor who's not supportive, the relative who criticizes you. Imagine they no longer do this. See how much more pleasant your life would be. Part three: Picture yourself no longer being upset or frustrated in those settings. You may use the following to help you drop your frustration / upset: Use humor. See yourself being cut off by another driver and score how bad their move was, or picture yourself awarding a prize to the child who made the biggest mess. Imagine yourself deflecting another's criticism by changing the conversation. See how you can talk about something else. Develop compassion. People who give others a hard time aren't happy. Think about where / how their pains arose? Learn from difficult settings. Use these times to picture yourself being a better boss when it's your turn, a nicer neighbor, or a better relative. Appreciate that your frustrations issues aren't about long-term issues. You were cut off but didn't crash. Neither you nor that supervisor / boss will be there forever. Your kids will be out of the house one day. Change will occur even if you do nothing more than picture these changes. With work, however these changes will occur sooner. You'll be happier, more present, and feel better. Details of this work will be the subject of Episode 4. Quotations: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” ― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud. ― Maya Angelou Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.  ― Rumi What you do makes a difference, and you decide what kind of difference you want to make. ― Jane Goodall The universe was born in love and is sustained in love.  ― Sheldon Stoff Our first teacher is our own heart. ― from the Cheyenne-