Tea Buddies Podcast

In today's episode, our hosts, Justin and Esther are joined by a good friend of Kean Sian, a psychology graduate from HELP University, Malaysia. Kean has always been fascinated about psychological measures. We actually did three episodes together on personality tests for Tea Buddies. Today he will be discussing his views on attachment styles and love languages and how the pandemic altered his and his ex-partner's love expressions and needs and their attachment styles. This episode marks Tea Buddies' 1st anniversary coinciding with the beginning of the spring season. On behalf of my team at Tea Buddies, I wish everyone a very happy Persian new year and thank you once again for listening to tea buddies. Our conversation timestamps: 0 - 2.20 : Introduction 2.40 : Kean's experience dating during the lockdown 4.45 : The 4 attachment styles and which one was Kean's and his ex-partner's 12.45 : What changed during the lockdown 21.00 : Unexpected crisis and what couples can do about it 28.05 : How crisis brings past unfinished businesses back up to the surface 31.45 : Impact of crisis on how we prioritise needs and eventually on our attachment dynamics 38.00 : Practising mature communication 46.35 : Exploring love languages and how to go about teaching one another how to love one another 56.45 : The importance of feedback and appreciating gestures of love 59.15 : How Kean and his ex-partner discussed their love languages 1.03.30 : Concluding notes and takeaways --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/teabuddies/message

Today's episode, the final one of the Friendship Stories series, is a manifestation and testimony to a bromance long endeared.  Amir and I have been best friends for almost a decade and today we sit to reflect on and reminisce memories of a Friendship that started long distanced and has continued so for the past 9 years. We talk about what has made this bond survive through multiple challenges, misunderstandings and distance, how this Friendship has helped us evolve into better versions of ourselves, and the importance of listening and willingness to learn about one another. Brace yourself for that and many more while enjoying your scrumptious evening tea and thank you once again for listening to Tea Buddies! Our Conversation Timestamps:   0 - 2.20: Introduction 2.20 : Friendship, what comes to mind? 3.00 : Amir's earliest experience of Friendship 5.30 : How Amir's idea of a Friend has changed over the years 7.30 : In pursuit of learning and cultural diversity through Friendship 10.40 : Openness to new experiences 11.20 : A bit of background on Amir and Salah's Friendship 14.50 : How we started and maintained it despite the distance 18.20 : What made us click 20.30 : On the importance of listening and willingness to explore 22.50 : Salah's endless "why?"s and Amir's becoming a better listener 27.10 : How this Friendship helped Salah fight his Shadows 32.50 : "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger": We learned to repair instead of discard 39.30 : What held Amir back from expressing himself in his Friendships 44.10 : On masculinity and fear of vulnerability 46.50 : Amir's pivotal role in Salah's English improvement 58.50 : A lesson from Friendship: "Tell them who you exactly are and be there for them." --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/teabuddies/message

In today's episode of the Friendship Stories series, Arielle shares with us the values she pursues in Friendships and what loyalty means to her. I also ask her all things considered, is it still worth it to be genuine? Brace yourself for that and many more while enjoying your scrumptious evening tea. and Thank you once again for listening to Tea Buddies! Our Conversation Timestamps: 0 - 0.30: Introduction 0.30 : Friendship, what comes to mind? 1.20 : Earliest memory of Friendship 3.40 : How Arielle's idea of a Friend has changed over years 4.40 : Values she pursues in Friendship 8.00 : Dramas and Friendships 10.00 : What is Loyalty? 14.50 : "As long as we can talk about it, there's still a chance" 16.00 : Putting ourselves in one another's shoes 20.00 : Listen to understand, not to prove each other wrong 24.30 : "Hurt people hurt people" 31.00 : Those who stand by no matter what: "Friend is where you restart." 38.15 : Arielle's love languages 49.00 : Is genuineness worth it? 53.10 : Experiences that stood out: "He took a shot for me" --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/teabuddies/message

In today's Valentine exclusive episode, our hosts, Justin and Esther are joined by a multicultural, psychologist couple Mrs Evone Phoo and Mr Bashir Bashardoost, both currently lecturers at the Department of Psychology, HELP University, Malaysia. The will be sharing with us the story of how they met, the way they maintain a loving and deep relationship in their marriage despite their individual and cultural differences, and their take on how it feels to have a psychologist partner. Brace yourself for that and many more while enjoying your scrumptious evening tea and thank you once again for listening to Tea Buddies! Our conversation timestamps: 0 - 2.50 : Introduction 2.50 : How Evone and Bashir met 6.00 : Their first impression of one another 8.20 : "The similarities brought us together, but the differences helped us explore" 13.00 : How to mitigate the differences? 17.40 : How they manage their dissimilarity anxiety; Helplessness in fully protecting and understanding one's partner 32.50 : Separating being a therapist from being a partner 44.00 : Some cultural differences 59.00 : What they appreciate about each other's cultures 1.06.00: At what point the idea of marriage came into play? 1.12.00: How to cultivate a safe space for trust and connectedness despite the challenges? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/teabuddies/message

In our fifth episode of the Friendship Stories series, Justin joins me to tell us what makes a true Friend for him, how matters of reciprocity have made him choose his Friends more carefully, and what made some of his Friendships last and some die. Brace yourself for that and many more while enjoying your scrumptious evening tea and thank you once again for listening to Tea Buddies! Our conversation timestamps: 0 - 0.35: Introduction 0.35 : Developing Friendships in childhood 3.08 : What makes a true Friend 5.10 : On keeping a close circle 8.20 : "If I don't draw the line for myself, the line will be drawn for me" 10.35 : Reciprocity and kindness in Friendships 18.30 : 'A' best Friend? Or 'the' best Friend? And who they are 30.45 : Expressing your feelings for Friends 40.20 : Should we normalise intimate expressions among guy Friends? 45.42 : Is there a good way to end a Friendship 48.50 : Experiences that stood out 1: Kindness betrayed 55.40 : Experiences that stood out 2: As genuine as it could get --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/teabuddies/message

In this forth episode of Friendship Stories series, my friend Melinda joins me to share her experience of Friendship before and after she moved to Australia. We will be talking about what changed Melinda's perspective on Friendship after leaving her home country, her idea of best friendships, and how she goes about the hierarchical nature of her friendships. Brace yourself for that and many more while enjoying your scrumptious evening tea and thank you once again for listening to Tea Buddies! Out conversation timestamps: 0 - 0.34: Introduction 0.34 : Friendship, what comes to mind? 2.45 : First time taking the initiative to make Friends 7.45 : "You invest more, when it's you initiating the Friendship" 9.45 : On reciprocity 12.00 : 'A' best Friend? Or 'the' best Friend? 16.30 : On respect, boundaries, and being happy for one another 20.15 : Drama in Friendships 27.00 : What differentiates levels of Friendship 30.00 : What degrades Friendships 35.10 : On transparency, genuineness, and authenticity in hierarchical Friendships 41.20 : Experiences that stood out: "Jealousy made me raise my bar of Friendship" 46.30 : Concluding words --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/teabuddies/message

This time, Bradley takes us on a journey of appreciation for something whose impact on our Friendships is yet to be truly felt and appreciated;  technology. The very screen we often blame for dampening the truthfulness, the reality of our relationships, has undeniably kept us close and together, at times where reunions were but a sweet, far from grasp, luxury. So, let's take a moment, and follow along with this tribute surely deserved.  An ode to Discord, Zoom, and all the apps that facilitate our friendships; by Bradley Sim Whye Kit Look! I'm here, sitting in the voice channel, I'm just here, at home, alone. It's night time and I'm desperately trying to avoid doom scrolling on Twitter, Or Instagram for that matter. Now I know that internet browsing is an act done usually by oneself. But, won't you come aboard, And join the channel, Share some communion among these airwaves? What are you up to this day? For though we may not meet, Distance and circumstance be damned! For we can still speak in solemn, weary voices amidst this night, Or wherever you are in the world that our greetings find you, We can still laugh, like gremlins, and cringe at our banter. For as the day grows old, the night becomes young And we -- we grow older still. So is our want for one another not more justified? Shall we not want to spend what precious life we have With those we have made connections with and care deeply about? Especially in these times when meeting had no convenience, This night is still young, And perhaps our humour hasn't aged a day. That's okay. We'll grow and we'll change Whether we care to or not, But let's age together still See how our in-jokes find their footing Amidst our daily ever-growing, Life is changing In our twenties constantly, Flooding with jobs and Responsibilities. So keep telling those familiar jokes that've grown stale in their repeated tellings, They are infinitely more lovely than The silence inspired by the stresses of adulthood Choking our youthful exuberance. But do not misunderstand, Silence spent in this togetherness Is no wrong a thing either But merely a monument to all that is known and has been spoken on between us. I am captivated, in fact, let me always be captivated By this way we show our love to one another, The raucous laughter after roasting each other, Playfully picking at the issues we suffer, Trusting fully that, in the moment, we do not mean the words we say. And that the pauses in between words says, I love you and, I love this And that, This place, like the quiet of the night, Is safe for you to know that you can be comfortable in your own skin. A solace, if you will, for you hold on to. So hop on in, Take a seat. Get comfy. Let's plays some games, Watch some videos. Contemplate  life. Rant about work. Know that we care, That we're listening, Intently with what being and effort we can glean This late at night. Because, after all, The best parts of life are often the parts we do together. So -- why not do them together? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/teabuddies/message

You have tuned into Tea Buddies, this is you host Salahaddin! Hope you have been enjoying our Friendship Stories series so far, today is our third episode and im joined by my friend Efendy to discuss his experience of Friendship. In this episode we talk about why we prefer having a few best friends instead of only one, what makes someone our best friend, and matters of long distance friendship and touch deprivation amidst the pandemic. Brace yourself for that and many more while enjoying your scrumptious evening tea. Thank you once again for listening to Tea Buddies! Our conversation's timestamp: 0 - 0.40: Introduction 0.40 : Friendship, what comes to mind? 1.40 : Earliest experience of Friendship 2.40 : How trust builds 5.34 : Reciprocity 8.25 : Over-protectiveness or possessiveness? Jealousy or FOMO? 10.30 : 'A' best Friend? Or 'the' best Friend? 15.37 : What makes someone a Best Friend 25.30 : How a Friendship changed Efendy's idea of a Friend 30.18 : Impact of the pandemic; long distance friendship and touch deprivation 36.07 : Memories that stand out --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/teabuddies/message

Friendship Stories is a series on youths' experience of Friendship, initiated by Centre for Mental Health and Wellbeing at HELP University, hosted by Tea Buddies. In our second episode of the Friendship Stories series, I ask Evon how her definition of Friendship has changed over the years, challenges she faced when starting to appreciate one-on-one friendship over the groups, and how she managed over-expecting when having only one best friend. Brace yourself for that and many more while enjoying your scrumptious evening tea. Thank you once again for listening to Tea Buddies! Our Conversation Timestamps: 0 - 0.33: Introduction 0.33 : Difference between individual and group Friendships 3.19 : How Evon's idea of a Friend has changed 7.27 : Friends' challenging expectations 9.57 : How to deal with those expectations 12.25 : Challenges in moving from group to individual Friendships 15.50 : Extroversion and preference for group Friendships 18.05 : 'A' best Friend? Or 'the' best Friend? 21.50 : Who deserves the title of 'Best Friend'? 23.40 : Managing over-expectation when having only one best Friend 31.33 : Negative effects of the pandemic 34.26 : Positive effects of the pandemic 39.47 : Experience that stood out; Opening up to Friends about appreciating one-on-one Friendships --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/teabuddies/message

In this episode, Arielle recites a Keisha Shepherd's poem titled 'My Friend'. Hope you enjoy it! I came across a fallen tree. I heard the branches whisper to me. Is this the tree I used to know? Is this the tree I helped to grow? A simple thing, so long ago. We talked and sang; I loved you so. And still do, even now as you sleep. I tip-toe around you, for you I will weep. Recalling memories so sweet You and I grew together Our roots run deep Entangled souls of this earth, We were destined to meet. Nothing can part us. I am you, and you are me. My forever friend, you'll be. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/teabuddies/message

Friendship Stories is a series on youths' experience of Friendship, initiated by Centre for Mental Health and Wellbeing at HELP University, hosted by Tea Buddies. In our very first episode of the Friendship Stories series, Suji shares with us what Friendship means to her, the way she coped with the Friendship loss between her and her sister, and how she finally met her soulmate. Brace yourself for that and many more while enjoying your scrumptious evening tea.  Thank you once again for listening to Tea Buddies! Our Conversation Timestamps:  0 - 0.30: Introduction  0.30 : Friendship, what comes to mind?  2.05 : Earliest experience of Friendship  6.45 : Is violation of commitment a red flag?  7.47 : What makes a good Friend?  10.50 : Suji's description of a best Friend  11.50 : Who is a soulmate?  13.50 : On being a 'safe haven'  16.00 : Imagining a day without her  17.35 : Friends become part of our identity  19.15 : Reasons why Suji loves her Friend  22.30 : Coping with losing her sister's Friendship  23.47 : "Nobody celebrated my birthday"  25.25 : Reciprocity matters  27.40 : 'A' best Friend? Or 'the' best Friend?  29.18 : Conflict of interest and expectations  31.20 : Effects of pandemic  35.55 : Things only matter when they go wrong  41.00 : Experiences that stood out: "Friendship to dating isn't an upgrade"  50.25 : The last word --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/teabuddies/message

In this episode, Bradley recites a David Whyte's poem on Friendship.  Friendship is a mirror to presence and a testament to forgiveness.  Friendship not only helps us see ourselves through another's eyes, but can be sustained over the years only with someone who has repeatedly forgiven us for our trespasses as we must find it in ourselves to forgive them in turn.  A friend knows our difficulties and shadows and remains in sight, a companion to our vulnerabilities more than our triumphs, when we are under the strange illusion we do not need them.  An undercurrent of real friendship is a blessing exactly because its elemental form is rediscovered again and again through understanding and mercy.  All friendships of any length are based on a continued, mutual forgiveness.  Without tolerance and mercy all friendships die. In the course of the years a close friendship will always reveal the shadow in the other as much as ourselves, to remain friends we must know the other and their difficulties and even their sins and encourage the best in them, not through critique but through addressing the better part of them, the leading creative edge of their incarnation, thus subtly discouraging what makes them smaller, less generous, less of themselves. Through the eyes of a real friendship an individual is larger than their everyday actions, and through the eyes of another we receive a greater sense of our own personhood, one we can aspire to, the one in whom they have most faith.  Friendship is a moving frontier of understanding not only of the self and the other but also, of a possible and as yet unlived, future. Friendship is the great hidden transmuter of all relationship: it can transform a troubled marriage, make honorable a professional rivalry, make sense of heartbreak and unrequited love and become the newly discovered ground for a mature parent-child relationship. The dynamic of friendship is almost always underestimated as a constant force in human life: a diminishing circle of friends is the first terrible diagnostic of a life in deep trouble: of overwork, of too much emphasis on a professional identity, of forgetting who will be there when our armored personalities run into the inevitable natural disasters and vulnerabilities found in even the most average existence. Through the eyes of a friend we especially learn to remain at least a little interesting to others.  When we flatten our personalities and lose our curiosity in the life of the world or of another, friendship loses spirit and animation; boredom is the second great killer of friendship.  Through the natural surprises of a relationship held through the passage of years we recognize the greater surprising circles of which we are a part and the faithfulness that leads to a wider sense of revelation independent of human relationship: to learn to be friends with the Earth and sky, with the horizon and with the seasons, even with the disappearances of winter and in that faithfulness, take the difficult path of becoming a good friend to our own going. Friendship transcends disappearance: an enduring friendship goes on after death, the exchange only transmuted by absence, the relationship advancing and maturing in a silent internal conversational way even after one half of the bond has passed on. But no matter the medicinal virtues of being a true friend of sustaining a long close relationship with another, the ultimate touchstone of friendship is not improvement, neither of the other nor of the self, the ultimate touchstone is witness, the privilege of having been seen by someone and the equal privilege of being granted the sight of the essence of another, to have walked with them and to have believed in them, and sometimes just to have accompanied them for however brief a span, on a journey impossible to accomplish alone. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/teabuddies/message

In this Chamomile episode, Arielle shares with us her nostalgic reminiscing of some Friends' stamping-ground...  Hope you enjoy this poem! Autumn's Story; by Arielle Aderyn   Do you remember the forest of ember, where we used to wander? Its warm tones, enlightening. Its essence, enchanting. In it, you danced like it was your world, like nothing mattered, the way you twirled. The leaves rose up like magic, The forest knew you, nostalgic. You wouldn't believe, I never wanted to leave, As we lay in a pile of red amongst the trees. How I loved the way you talked about your dreams. And in that moment, time stood still, I feel, I didn't need to hide, The fact I wanted you by my side. There hath never been someone I wanted more, You, forevermore. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/teabuddies/message

Today's episode is a collaboration between Tea Buddies and Mind Matters Network. In conjunction with world suicide prevention month, Sharrada Segeran, the Executive Director of Mind Matters Network has joined Dr Andrew Mohanraj, a professor of psychiatry, and the President for the Malaysian Mental Health Association to ask him a few questions regarding suicide.

Today's episode is a collaboration between Tea Buddies and Mind Matters Network. In conjunction with world suicide prevention month, we have invited Dr Alvin Ng, a professor of psychology and the Associate Dean for the School of Medicine and Life Sciences at Sunway University to discuss the protective role of friendship against suicide. Our conversation's timestamps: 0 - 1.00: Intro 1:00: What stats tell us 3.52: Protective role of Friendship 12:00: We don't appreciate rejection 12:55: It's the connectedness that matters 13:50: How many Friends, or how meaningful? 15:45: The threshold of meaning 16:40: On having several best friends, instead of only one 18:13: The language we use; best Friends? or becoming Friends? 21:00: Our definitions of a best Friend and how it affects our Friendship 23:12: Tackling the issue of making Friends amidst online learning 28:50: Taking care of ourselves when approaching a suicidal Friend --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/teabuddies/message

In this Chamomile episode, Bradley will take us back in the past and on to the future with our memories of Friendship in Time... Hope you enjoy this poem! Friends In Time; by Bradley Sim Whye Kit Oh friends, When I think on the fact That we can spend Time together My heart is sent leaping in joy. It is some stabled stallion Let loose in a prairie, A blooming dawn To a night once dreary. What a gift And a blessing itself. When we banter and play, Talk and parley Gather where we might gather To keep the many storms at bay. I always used to find myself, Stepping back, Holding my breath, Wishing for time to stop So I could capture all these golden moments And store them in my memory bank. I've long since left that delusion behind Instead intently focusing, No halfheartedness here, On the joys of our present living. For, Time spent together is no Time wasted at all, For what is life but a shadow Gone-by By the passing whim of the sun's movement Overhead. Overjoyed -- Though our emotions are not always on display -- We are the flames to each other's wick, And though we speak in passing tongues Our unsung song is a choir of good times past, Good times present, And good times still yet to come. So where should we be But in this passing gift of togetherness? Let us, Hold fast through the bitterness Of life and struggles Through ash and rubble While we build and rebuild, When our worlds come crashing down, Remember, You are here, And we are all here. Together in Time, As we pick each other up from the ditches where we've fallen, Brushing off the dirt we remember what's important, Though our rhythms are not always in line, We still march to the same beat of life. And oh friends, what a melody we'll make of it. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/teabuddies/message

In this episode, Kean and Salah sit at your Tea Table to tell you all about how central their major personality traits have been to directing and shaping their values in life. After a brief introduction to the Big Five personality factors and what happens when one scores high or low on its subscales, they discuss how agreeableness helps with making friends, their journey back and forth with extroversion, and finally why they both score so low on conscientiousness and how they deal with it. This episode is the last one of the Personality Tests Series. Stay tuned for more updates from Tea Buddies as we are approaching the new season of 'Friendship' very soon! Thank you for listening to Tea Buddies! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/teabuddies/message

Join Kean and Salah in this episode to learn more about MBTI personality test and their results as they discuss it. They will also be sharing their personality type's strengths and points for improvements based on the MBTI classification. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/teabuddies/message

Join Kean and Salah in this episode to hear about VIA Character Strengths as they discuss their old and new results of this personality test. They will also share their insight about how they make the best use of their strengths especially during the challenging time of the Covid-19 pandemic. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/teabuddies/message

In this episode, find out why Yong is leaving TeaBuddies and both of our takes on commitment. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/teabuddies/message

In today's episode, we talk about something which all of us struggle with from time to time... "procrastination". We will be sharing our personal experiences with procrastination while also exchanging thoughts on how to cope with it. As always, thanks for tuning in to Tea Buddies, enjoy your afternoon tea, and we wish you a lovely time with your family and friends! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/teabuddies/message

Today we are sharing our both individual and common best takeaways from studying psychology for more than 2 years. In addition to that, there will also be a short reflection on our 1st episode, the launch of Tea Buddies social media platforms, and a bit of thanksgiving to those who have been supporting us so far. Thanks for tuning in to Tea Buddies, enjoy your afternoon tea, and if you're celebrating Easter, we wish you a lovely time with your family and friends! Cheers! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/teabuddies/message