Podcasts about Reciprocity

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Best podcasts about Reciprocity

Latest podcast episodes about Reciprocity

Mobile Home Parks In Real Life (MHP_IRL)
MMW: Relationship Deficits

Mobile Home Parks In Real Life (MHP_IRL)

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 15, 2021 4:51


Reciprocity is the most persuasive motivate you have at your disposal, according to Robert Cialdini's "Influence". On this Mid Month Wisdom, we'll walk through how you can build a stockpile of relationship deficits. Connect with us! Mentorship Program: https://mobilehomeparkmentors.com/ Podcast: http://www.archimedesgrp.com/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/iantudor/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/ryan-narus-87293417/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/mobilehomemogul Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/MHPMastermind/ Website: www.archimedesgrp.com #MHP_IRL

The Small Business Show
Choosing Accounting Software and the Best Books and Podcasts for Small Business Owners

The Small Business Show

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 6, 2021 43:45


How do you choose the best accounting software for your Small Business? What's right for one business may not fit the needs of another. Today on The Small Business Show we talk Accounting software during our introduction and then it's on to books and Podcasts! What business books are your hosts Shannon Jean and Dave Hamilton reading? Join us today to learn about the books that have made an impact on the Small Business success of your hosts. Dave and Shannon also dive into their current favorite Podcasts that they are listening to. Listen in and learn! 00:00:00 Small Business Show #348 for Wednesday, October 6, 2021 00:01:00 Quick Bambee Discussion 00:01:26 Selling Your Business… To the Government? 00:05:09 1202 Small Business Stock Gains Exclusion 00:07:50 What Accounting Software Do You Use for Your Business's Bookkeeping? QuickBooks FreshBooks AccountEdge (formerly MYOB) feedback@businessshow.co What features does my business need? FileMaker Server for Linux FMPHost 00:17:53 SPONSOR: NetSuite. NetSuite by Oracle is the #1 Financial System - no matter how big your business grows. NetSuite is offering a one-of-a-kind financing program only for those ready to switch today! Head to NetSuite.com/sbs 00:19:26 SPONSOR: Bambee – Let Bambee help with your dedicated HR Manager! Go to Bambee.com/SMALL right now to schedule your free HR audit. 00:21:16 Business Books and Podcasts 00:21:20 Book: The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson 00:22:59 Podcast: Marketing Over Coffee – Christopher Penn and John Wall. Link-building, SEO, and Mailing Lists! Moves fast, and the hosts stay right with each other. Great stuff! Tip: LinkedIn 60-seconds, 3x/day, 5 days. Fixed! 00:25:08 Book: The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale 00:26:36 Podcast: The Business of Story – Park Howell understands the (super!) power of story, and interviews folks who have lived the same. He often talks about “living into” your story. 00:28:29 Book: The E-Myth by Michael Gerber — Learn how to work on your business, not in your business. Create an org chart for every job you do! 00:30:01 Podcast: As Told By Nomads — Tayo Rockson interviews folks with a global, big picture. Good for inspiration and also for zooming out and seeing the world from outside of our little bubbles. Hustle, innovation, and the importance of marketing are recurring topics here. 00:32:02 Biography Books: Andrew Carnegie, Biography by David Nasaw; The People's Tycoon (Henry Ford) 00:35:19 Podcast: Focused — David Sparks and Mike Schmitz are as obsessed with being productive-not-busy as we are, and they attack it from efficiency angles twice a month. Awesome stuff. 00:37:02 Book: Influence — The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini - Focusing on Reciprocity, Social proof, Scarcity, and more. 00:38:34 Book: The Dilbert Principle by Scott Adams — Great inspiration for solo-preneurs, persuasion. 00:42:24 SBS 348 Outtro BusinessShow.co/survey

Best Horse Practices Podcast

For this episode, Maddy talks with West Taylor. West runs Wild West Mustang Ranch in central Utah and has been a Best Horse Practices Summit presenter twice. He has scores of videos on his site as well as on YouTube and Facebook. Check out his 2018 and 2019 presentations in the Best Horse Practices Summit video library. West specializes in work with wild horses and uses what he knows about brain science to optimize the experience for these mustangs, through, essentially, maximizing relaxation, releasing pressure, and – as you will hear – more strategies involving polyvagal theory, something Maddy writes about in her new book, Beasts of Being: Partnerships Unburdened. He said that the three main factors required for better downregulation or engaging the parasympathetic nervous system (which is a way of talking about relaxation) is 1. Feeling safe, 2. Social engagement and 3. Reciprocity. It's pretty nifty that he's working on that with horses and we are working on that with the podcast. A very informative session. It was great to reconnect with West and we think you'll find what he has to say enlighting and insightful. We thank Lucerne Farms and Pharm Aloe Equine for their sustaining sponsorship. Lucerne is a forage company based in Northern Maine. Forage is chopped hay. It's decidedly not grain and has been shown to be an excellent option when you can't have your horse on pasture. Pharm Aloe offers aloe pellets and gel and other products to support horses' GI health, immune system, and other processes. They have profiles of the quality of their products here. We also thank Redmond Equine, Kate's Real Food and Patagonia WorkWear for their continued support. Stay tuned for a review of the new women's ranch jacket from WorkWear. It is as stylish as you can get for a hard-working horse owner's layer. 

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
ERP 288: How to Support Psychological-Sexual Arousal In Relationship - An Interview With Dr. Ian Kerner

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 5, 2021 48:45


On today's episode of The Empowered Relationship Podcast, Dr. Ian Kerner and I discuss what a ‘sex script' is and why it can help couples achieve intimacy by rewriting our sex script. He shares his insights into why these sex scripts are not only based on physical behaviors and describes how he helps couples understand that psychological arousal begins with our minds. We dive into the details of why Dr. Kerner has been a longtime advocate for a new paradigm of sexual pleasure for heterosexual couples, focused around clitoral stimulation rather than the previous procreative model of sex. Dr. Kerner explores why the core of the orgasm gap between men and women is down to the differences in how men and women experience the plateau phase in the process of sexual response. We also discuss how getting into a state of ‘neutral entrainment,' when you're relaxed and in the moment and feeling the erotic heat being generated, helps foster a sensual connection.  Ian Kerner, Ph.D., LMFT, is the co-leader of the sex therapy program at the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy and contributes regularly on the topic of sex for CNN. He is the New York Times best-selling author of She Comes First (Harper Collins), which has been translated into more than a dozen languages, and he maintains a private practice in NYC dedicated to honoring the centrality of sexuality in his patients' lives. Check out the transcript to this episode in Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode: 07:32 How psychological arousal relates to sexual intimacy  08:28 Why couples in long term relationships often develop a ‘sex script' over time  12:51 Recognition that psychological arousal is a key component of sexual satisfaction 14:06 Why anticipation is an integral part of psychological excitement and how tapping into our erotic imaginations and fantasies helps get us going 18:42 Reciprocity is elemental for our sense of bonding, particularly when we're talking about intimacy and the vulnerability around reaching that authentic sexual place  26:06 The element of play and being able to express sexual fantasy in recreating your sexual script 32:37 How to move from the shallow end in these conversations about sexual fantasy and drift further in so that we don't get fearful and anxious about the process of connecting sexually 35:57 Dr. Kerner's tips to help someone safely explore to open up more capacity and let go of their sexual rigidity 37:44 Introducing the idea of sexual exploration without pressure 41:50 Shifting from intercourse to outercourse and creating a sex script that adds and rearranges the right elements for us as a couple  43:15 How to find out more about Dr. Ian Kerner and get ahold of his latest book So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex: Laying Bare and Learning to Repair Our Love Lives Mentioned So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex: Laying Bare and Learning to Repair Our Love Lives (*Amazon Link) She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman (*Amazon Link) Connect with Dr. Ian Kerner Website: iankerner.com   Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.

Crushing Chaos with Law Firm Mentor podcast

In today's episode I'm asking you all “who are your clients”?   I've gotten a lot of questions recently about how to serve clients, take care of oneself and family, while creating financial wealth? It's almost like the idea of helping people who are poor is so foreign to the legal profession that people who want to do that work also assume that what comes along with the legal profession is affluence, abundance, financial success. It's not true, but that's the perception.   This leads to the thought that, “if I do anything outside of what's customarily done in the legal profession, if I go outside of serving the rich, I really can't make myself money,” and that is absolutely false.   Tune in and I'll explain why.   In this episode we discuss: Differences selling to the affluent versus those that on the face of it can't afford your services. Strategies to be financially successful while still giving back to your community. Putting your mask on first while building your success. How the obligation to give as a condition of your receiving, is emotional manipulation. The Universal Law of Reciprocity and having expectations for something in return when giving to others. Systematizing your business to be more efficient to be able to reach your financial goals.   Allison Bio:   Allison C. Williams, Esq., is Founder and Owner of the Williams Law Group, LLC, with offices in Short Hills and Freehold, New Jersey. She is a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, is Certified by the Supreme Court of New Jersey as a Matrimonial Law Attorney and is the first attorney in New Jersey to become Board-Certified by the National Board of Trial Advocacy in the field of Family Law.    Ms. Williams is an accomplished businesswoman. In 2017, the Williams Law Group won the LawFirm500 award, ranking 14th of the fastest growing law firms in the nation, as Ms. Williams grew the firm 581% in three years. Ms. Williams won the Silver Stevie Award for Female Entrepreneur of the Year in 2017.  In 2018, Ms. Williams was voted as NJBIZ's Top 50 Women in Business and was designated one of the Top 25 Leading Women Entrepreneurs and Business Owners. In 2019, Ms. Williams won the Seminole 100 Award for founding one of the fastest growing companies among graduates of Florida State University.   In 2018, Ms. Williams created Law Firm Mentor, a business coaching service for lawyers.  She helps solo and small law firm attorneys grow their business revenues, crush chaos in business and make more money.  Through multi-day intensive business retreats, group and one-to-one coaching, and strategic planning sessions, Ms. Williams advises lawyers on all aspects of creating, sustaining and scaling a law firm business – and specifically, she teaches them the core foundational principles of marketing, sales, personnel management, communications and money management in law firms.  Contact Info:   LawFirmMentor.net/Avatar LawFirmMentor.net/Masterclass Contact Law Firm Mentor: Scheduler: https://meetme.so/LawFirmMentor     Snippets   00: 22: 02 (36 Seconds)  I wanted the person to see how the belief system was not a healthy one. Right. So we talked about self-interest in the fact that all people are driven to help other people out of self-motivation, right? Even when you are genuinely thinking about other people as you are standing at the soup kitchen or as you are leaving an extra-generous tip or as you are dropping off clothes to the Goodwill right. You're doing that for someone else, but do not believe that you are not also doing it for yourself.

R.O.G. Return on Generosity
52. Jessica Keogh - Accessible Voices

R.O.G. Return on Generosity

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 5, 2021 29:58


52. Jessica Keogh - Accessible Voices “For employers, I think just realizing that people with disabilities have unique strengths. We really are some of the best problem-solvers and very dedicated workers. Working really hard, it's just something that we're used to because we've had to do it our entire lives. And, that carries over into the workplace"    Guest Info: Jessica Keogh M. Ed Founder and President of Faith Above my Ability ​Jessica is the founder and President of Faith Above my Ability. She is a 32 year old woman with a progressive Neuromuscular disorder that is yet to be diagnosed. Jessica felt called to create this nonprofit as she continually looks to Jesus for her identity and worth. Knowing first hand how challenging life is with a physical disability, Keogh desires to help others as they navigate resources and tools to live independently.  ​ Jessica is currently working on her doctorate and teaches special education full time. Keogh is fiercely passionate, dedicated, and determined to not only make the world a more inclusive place, but change the narrative surrounding disability!    R.O.G. Takeaway Tips: Be more compassionate toward others, and ourselves. Don't ask, "What's wrong with you?" or "What happened to you?" Ask for help. It's a sign of strength.  Recognize and offer your natural gifts and talents. Generously put them to good use. Until next week, stay generous everyone! Favorite Quote: “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did,  but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Dr. Maya Angelou   Resources: Faith Above My Ability on Twitter (@Faith_MyAbility) Faith Above My Ability on Facebook Faith Above My Ability on Instagram Capital Wire - PA House Panel Approves Senate-Passed Bill to Help Disabled Office of Disability Employment Policy - Ideas for Employers and Employees "Working Works" Poster Series Job Accommodation Network - Multimedia Training Microsite AskEarn.org ROG Episode 22 - Givers Need Askers: Turn the Wheel of Reciprocity and Ask Credits: Jessica Keogh, Sheep Jam Productions, Host Shannon Cassidy

For The Wild
RUTH ŁCHAV'AYA K'ISEN MILLER on Relations of Reciprocity /252

For The Wild

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 27, 2021


In this magnetic conversation, Ruth and Ayana consider where a politics of love can breathe, radical softness, mindsets of abundance, climate justice advocacy, and the steps we can take to create systems of wellness. In recognition of what might feel like a painful transition for many, Ruth guides us to think about what practices and acts of care we can implement with each other as a way of willing a more beautiful world back into existence. 

Podcast Talent Coach
The Power of Being Vulnerable – PTC 355

Podcast Talent Coach

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 25, 2021 33:56


It is scary to put yourself out there and be vulnerable. But, it is also powerful. When you are working to build engagement with your audience, you need to be a bit vulnerable. That's what makes you lovable. BOOTCAMP Before we jump into it, I want to give you a little update on the project I'm working on. Last week I mentioned that I am putting together a workshop where I will take your hand and walk you through every step of the way to your goals. You've given me a ton of great feedback, and I really appreciate it. So much feedback that I'm still going through all of it to determine exactly what you need and what the workshop will do for you. It will take me another week or two to get it all put together. I can't thank you enough for all of the responses to the survey. This workshop will be something where we actually get work done. I don't want to create just another empty webinar like you find everywhere else. I want to create a full day event that will help you get the work done. That's why it's a workshop. We will actually do the work together. Once all of the feedback is reviewed, I'll put it all together for you. Thanks for being patient. It is coming. Now, let's talk about building engagement, being vulnerable and attracting your ideal clients so you can make more money with your podcast. THE PROFIT You've heard the saying. People do business with those they know, like and trust. I was watching an episode of Streets of Dreams with Marcus Lemonis the other night. You might know him from the CNBC television show The Profit. On the episode, Marcus was researching the diamond district in New York City. It is a one-block stretch of 47th Streen in Manhattan between Fifth and Sixth Avenues. This block is one of the primary centers of the global diamond industry. As Marcus was talking pricing with the jewelers, he asked about appraisal. How do you know the diamond is actually worth the asking price? The jeweler said, "You just have to trust me." Now, this bracelet Marcus was buying had an asking price of $30k or $35k. This guy just wanted Marcus to trust him. Even as they looked through that little magnifying glass at the perfection of the diamond, the jeweler told Marcus that most people have no idea what they are looking at. They have no idea how to price a diamond. You need a trained eye. The same is true when you get your car serviced. You just need to trust the mechanic when he tells you that your car needs new brakes or the seal on your header is cracked. I have no idea what good and bad brakes look like. THE TRUST The sale is all about the trust. Your potential client needs to trust that you are telling the truth. However, they also need to trust that your solution will work for them, that they can actually do it and that it delivers the results you promise. Many people want to learn the art of the close. Closing the deal is only about 10% of the sales process. Building rapport is the majority of the journey. Trust is the primary reason you need to build rapport with your potential clients. They need to believe what you are telling them. If you are simply talking about the features of your stuff and how much it costs, you've already lost your prospect. Build a relationship with your future client before you ever discuss your solution. To build that friendship, you need to be open and honest. You need to be vulnerable. Trust your guest with some of your stories and flaws. Put yourself out there. When you do, the Law of Reciprocity will kick in. The Law of Reciprocity basically states that when people receive something from someone else, the receiver feels compelled to return the favor. If you trust your prospect by using your stories and flaws, they will feel compelled to trust you in return. It isn't that quick. The trust grows over time. MANIPULATION Some people think using the Law of Reciprocity is just simply manipulating their prospective clients. It is the opposite. Think of your past relationships. Did you instantly tell the other person all of your secrets the first time you met them? Of course not. As they told you a few things, you told them a few things. Over time, you learned just how much you could trust that other person. There is a "right" time to reveal things in a relationship. That time comes when the trust level is high enough. The give and take builds each time you share something and they share in return. Now, are you manipulating the other person? Of course not. You are simply building a relationship. Putting yourself out there is a great way to grow your relationships and attract more of your perfect clients. GLIMMER LEARNING Today, I've invited a special guest on the show to talk about your presentation and putting yourself out there. How can you be authentic and engaging with your audience and prospective clients? Lisa Hannigan is the Founder of Glimmer Learning LLC, a company specializing in virtual engagement training and coaching for speakers. She helps them increase the impact of their message and maximize results. Lisa is a certified Master Trainer and Virtual Facilitator. She offers her almost two decades of experience, along with tools and techniques to her clients and teaches them how to deliver high-impact, engaging presentations that inspire and connect every time they speak. You can find all of Lisa's info at www.PodcastTalentCoach.com/glimmer.   If you don't have a mentor who can take your hand and walk you every step of the way, go to www.PodcastTalentCoach.com/apply, click the button and apply to have a chat with me. We will develop your plan and see how I can help and support you to achieve your podcast goals.

From Borderline to Beautiful: Hope & Help for BPD with Rose Skeeters, MA, LPC, PN2

Borderline Personality Disorder is a complex diagnosis. Relationships require teamwork and reciprocity. In this episode, I talk more about teamwork and how to stop asking "what's in it for me?" and to start loving others for who they are and not for what they can give you. I answer a question that came up for clients and listeners over the week about how to respond to a clinician, doctor, professor, psychologist who is speaking negativelt about people who have a BPD/EUPD/CPTSD diagnosis. Borderline Personality Disorder recovery work is often painful and difficult. Listen in today to hear a message of hope and encouragement and to add being honorable to your moral compass! Remember to spread the word that BPD/CPTSD/EUPD are all disorders that hurt, though that we can recover from with tenacity, patient endurance, and hard work! Contact us today at 1-844-9-THRIVE. Jay@skeetersstrength.com OR Rose@skeetersstrength.com. Schedule a mindset coaching session today here: https://www.skeetersstrength.com/product/individual-sessions/ Get your gear here: https://thrive-merchandise.creator-spring.com/? --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/rose-skeeters/support

The Howie Carr Radio Network
Reciprocity, LTC, and "Assault Bibles" - 9.24.21 - Hour 3

The Howie Carr Radio Network

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 24, 2021 38:39


Toby Leary from Cape Gun works takes more calls on a wide range of topics, and discusses how insane it would be if you had to go through gun registration to practice your constitutionally granted faith

Maine's Political Pulse
Sept. 24, 2021: Once At Odds, Paul LePage And Susan Collins Find Reciprocity

Maine's Political Pulse

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 24, 2021 10:06


This is HCD - Human Centered Design Podcast
Pushing Practice 1: Reciprocity in Design

This is HCD - Human Centered Design Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 24, 2021 39:41


I'm your host Kelly Ann McKercher, author of Beyond Sticky Notes: Doing Co-design for Real. In this podcast we speak with Euan Black and lauren anseline about networks for social impact - what they are, how to convene networks and what to avoid. Content warning: we talk about death and end of life in this podcast. While we talk constructively, the topic may be upsetting for some.  @kellyanagram @thisishcd Impact Network for Systemic Change at End of Life https://tacsi.org.au/work/shifting-end-of-life-outcomes/ The Network Weaver website and handbook https://networkweaver.com/product/network-weaver-handbook-pdf/ Connecting to change the world  https://islandpress.org/books/connecting-change-world#:~:text=%22Connecting%20to%20Change%20the%20World,of%20independent%20and%20interdependent%20actors  Sandtalk by Tyson Yunkaporta  https://www.textpublishing.com.au/books/sand-talk See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Twelfth House
Maximizing Exactly Where You're at with Katie Horwitch

The Twelfth House

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 14, 2021 67:55


Join us today as we welcome Katie Horwitch, a nationally recognized writer, speaker, mindset coach, activist, and the founder of WANT: Women Against Negative Talk. She is the host of the top-rated self-talk podcast WANTcast: The Women Against Negative Talk Podcast, where she tackles subjects like loneliness, jealousy, and self-worth, and interviews visionary women about taking a proactive approach to life's high highs and lows. Michelle and Katie discuss what it means to be in the wellness industry, but not of it, holding multiplicity and fluidity in your changing identity as a public figure, seeking your growth edge, and much more. [0:01:00] Review of last week's episode: Deconstructing Beauty and Wellness Trends with Jessica Defino [0:02:00] Today's guest is Katie Horwitch, the founder of WANT: Women Against Negative Talk [0:09:00] A overview of how Katie started her podcasting journey with WANTCast [0:15:00] What it looks like to be a four in the enneagram [0:26:00] On being radically accountable to yourself [0:27:00] How to discern whether you're quitting out of fear, pursuing something just because you can, or because it's aligned [0:30:00] What is the God wound? [0:36:00] How to discern what you're good at and knowing how to invest your energy [0:49:00] What does true confidence look like? [0:52:00] The Law Universal Law of Reciprocity [1:01:00] Happiness is fleeting and can be situational [1:03:00] How to be present and maximize exactly where you're at Connect with Katie and find out about her work here, follow her on IG here and check out her awesome podcast here. Sign up for Notion for Magical Baddies Digital Altars and Social Media Systems here and join the waitlist for N4MB: Spells and Systems here! Text us a screenshot of your review @ +1 818-699-9735 to be entered to win a spot in Notion for Magical Baddies

Recovery At Cokesbury
Recovering Relationships - Reciprocity - Mark Beebe

Recovery At Cokesbury

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 10, 2021 33:19


Coach My World
Episode 65: I'm Over Being Used (Reciprocity)

Coach My World

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 10, 2021 24:58


Sick and tired of people using you and taking advantage of your goodness? Grab your favorite beverage and prepare to be STIRRED as Coach Renée brings the HEAT once again! #theheatison #legacybuilder #lifecoach #emotionalhealth #bossing FOLLOW Coach Renée on FB & IG: @iamreneeroberts NEED A LIFE COACH?: www.iamreneeroberts.com

Networking Rx
The 4-Step Reciprocity Loop (EPS 366)

Networking Rx

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 31, 2021 20:07


Host Frank Agin discusses an article on giving and receiving from author, speaker, and influence expert Brian Ahearn (@BrianAhearn) . Learn more about his work at https://www.influencepoeple.biz For more great insight on professional relationships and business networking visit https://www.amspirit.com/blog/ or contact Frank Agin at frankagin@amspirit.com.

Changing Minds with Owen Fitzpatrick
S03E08 Interview with Dr Robert Cialdini on Influence

Changing Minds with Owen Fitzpatrick

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 26, 2021 51:35


After spending his entire career conducting scientific research on persuasion, Dr. Robert Cialdini has become the foundational expert on influence and how to apply it ethically in business. His books, including Influence and Pre-Suasion, have sold more than seven million copies in 44 different languages. He is also the Regents' Professor Emeritus of Psychology and Marketing at Arizona State University. In this episode, Robert explains how the 7 Principles of Persuasion—plus one other principle—can be applied in these times, diving into the 3 goals that communicators often have. He shares studies and stories to better illustrate his point. He also offers advice on asking for a favor, for feedback, or for your partner to make a change. Tune in and start communicating better with other people! Key Takeaways: Reciprocity, Liking, and Unity are indispensable in the early stages of a relationship When uncertain, people look to figures of authorities or their peers Scarcity and Commitment are the 2 principles that mobilize people into action The top factors that were most effective for 6,700 eCommerce sites The difference between the Liking Principle and the Unity Principle and the power of unifying commonalities How to leverage the Principle of Reciprocity and the Contrast Principle Quotes: (On taking action) “Sometimes we need a spur to get us to take that step.” “Unity is about commonality of membership... being one of that group.” (On responding to expressions of gratitude) “Of course I was glad to do it. It's what long-term... partners do for one another.” “You can always contrast something against something else, and we often make the mistake of failing to do that.” “Ask for that person's advice on this idea. They take a half-step toward you psychologically.” Resources: Influence At Work Influence (New and Expanded) by Robert Cialdini Subscribe to the Changing Minds Podcast!

Handle with Care:  Empathy at Work
To See It, Be It: an interview with Max Yoder

Handle with Care: Empathy at Work

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 25, 2021 57:12


- Max Yoder That divine middle is emotional liberation, where I can be compassionate and show compassion to an individual. But I do not need to carry whatever it is that they are feeling, right, not my responsibility to. And the thing about the thing that I think this is so important for me in my life is I think this was my biggest blocker, my biggest blocker to grow like something that I may have gone through my whole life and never addressed if it were not for something like Lessonly.   INTRO   When companies and individuals think about skilling-up in empathy and compassion, there are common questions that arise.  How can I take on the feelings of others without being crushed by them?  What do good boundaries look like?  How am I ever going to keep my people accountable to their actual work if I start being all touchy-feely with the.    My guest today touches on all of these questions and more.  There are many reasons why you should take the time to listen to Max Yoder:  he is erudite, well-read (see all of the books and authors he noted in the show notes), and he really cares about people.    He is also the co-founder of the continually growing learning platform, Lessonly.  Just last week, Lessonly made headlines in the tech world when they were acquired by Seismic.  And the last few years has been a series of success stories for the company.    Max is much more than an executive and a thinker, he is also a crafter of Lego art.    - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Is there anything that you found yourself giving time to in the pandemic, whether that's like a new pursuit or a hobby that you have particularly enjoyed?   - Max Yoder Yeah. I've given myself a lot more time to make art, and I tend to make art with Legos. I really appreciate this man named Joseph Albers, who was a teacher at Black Mountain College, right. During World War two, post World War II. And he created this series of things called Homage to a Square. And he really like color theory. So he would put basically squares inside one another. And he did about two0 of these over a series of 20 years, I think from his 60s to his 80s, if I recall correctly, so hugely inspired by somebody doing 2001 thing from their 60 to their 80s.   - Max Yoder And these squares, like I said, they're color theory. So he was trying different colors, and he said when I put a blue in the middle and I surround it with a red, that blue takes on a different cue, then it visually looks different than if I surround it with a lighter blue. Like what we put around to color changes the way we perceived that color.   - Max Yoder So during COVID, I started doing all of these squares, and they were these really great free flow activity where I could get a 16 by 16 Lego square.   - Max Yoder And I would create my own version of Joseph Albers Homage to a Square, all these different colors, and I have them all around my attic now. And it was just one of those things that I could do without thinking I sift through the Legos, I'd find the right color. I'd build these squares. It was not taxing, but it was rewarding.   - Max Yoder And so I think in general, what I learned to do during COVID was play and not have a goal. And in one way of doing that with art and just really, truly understand what playing is, because I think I spent a lot of my adult life and I think a lot of my adolescent life achieving instead of playing, and I think you can do both at the same time.   - Max Yoder But I don't think I was doing both. I think mostly achieving I love that.   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Well, especially with the relentless pace of work in general, but especially accelerated as a result of the pandemic to actually have spaces of purposeful rest, whether that's like actual physical rest of sleeping or encompassing it with the mental release of play is something that I hear again and again as I work with different individuals, even as being really life giving. Yeah. I love that   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes You also have welcomed, I think, a new little person into your home in the midst of the pandemic you find that that has having a child in the home has unleashed some different capacities in you as well?   - Max Yoder Oh, yeah. So my daughter Marnie, she's eleven months old yesterday and eleven months.   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Happy eleven months, Marnie.   - Max Yoder Yeah, pretty special. Full name is Marina. When she was born, we didn't know she was gonna be a boy or a girl. She came out of my wife, and we had three names for girls, picked out three names for boys. Marina was the one that was clearly the winner. And then basically, as soon after that, we just started calling her money. So she came home and just changed our lives there's. Covid before Marnie and this COVID after Marnie and COVID after Marnie is excellent. You know, I think COVID before Marnie was really tough for a whole host of reasons, but when Marnie came, she brought this new life to our house, like literal new life.   - Max Yoder Right. And then just this vitality to just and I of seeing the world differently and being a dad and watching my wife be a mom. And now being a husband to a mother, like all these things are life changing. And I'm 33 years old this year, and I just sent myself shifting from this achievement mentality to more kind of focusing on now, what do I care about? Why do I care about it? And am I doing the things that I care about? And my family is something that I care about?   - Max Yoder Music is something that I care about reading or things that I care about. And the difference between that and achievement and Carl, you the psychiatrist, help me figure this all out is I'm not doing them to impress anybody or to get anybody's. Applause I'm doing them because I care about them. And if somebody doesn't care about them, that's okay by me. And somebody does care about them. That's okay by me. But I'm not doing it for anybody else. Right?   - Max Yoder And being with my daughter is just something that is really important to me because she just wants me to be there with her.   - Max Yoder She doesn't even need me to do anything. She just needs me to be watching her spending time with her. And it's just been really cool to over eleven months. Jess, who's a very calm woman, nurture Marni and love on Many. I think I call myself in a big way in front of Many. Many got her grandpa and her grandma, and then we have a woman named Gabs, who is a friend of ours and the caretaker of Mary three days a week. And all these people just are very calm personalities.   - Max Yoder And Marni has just been wrapped around with so much love and kind of calmness. And what I imagine is going to come from that is what has come from that, which she's very adventurous, like, she's not scared. She's vibrant, and I just feel really lucky because it's not that parents don't want to give that to their kids, right? I think it's just sometimes we just don't have the resources, don't have the time, we're overstressed, and we're in a fortunate position where that's not the case. And it is highly rewarding to see my daughter be that's exploring, creative, laughing kid.   - Max Yoder And I want that for everybody because it's a real gift. I.   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Love that enjoyment of just her presence and watching her flourishing.   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes And something that you said kind of, like, particularly caught my attention, that I'm not thinking primarily of what I'm doing for her. I'm just being with her. I'm paying attention and the power of presence, which is its own segue into some of what we want to talk about today, which is empathy and connection in the workplace, because although it's not like a paternal relationship with those that you work with, I think there's this deeply human need to be seen and acknowledge, and I'd like to kick it off.   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes I know you're a leader that values cultivating this in your workplace. What is a personal story for you about why empathy and human connection really matter specifically in the workplace?   - Max Yoder Yeah. I think empathy allows me to feel as somebody, so it allows me to kind of sit in their shoes and do my best approximation of what's stressing them or what's bringing them joy, like, empathizing with their situation. And I think that's incredibly important to a certain degree. I think the place where I get the most juice is being compassionate. And I think I've learned to recognize feeling sympathy for somebody, understanding that they are going through pain, but not carrying that pain as my owner running those same circuits myself.   - Max Yoder This is something that Robert Sapolsky to a gentleman from Stanford has helped me understand. If I sit there and run the circuits all day long that somebody else is running and I get stressed with them, I wear myself out, but I can be compassionate and sympathetic to an individual. Like, if they're hurting, I can acknowledge that they're hurting, but I don't need to run the same circuits.   - Max Yoder So I think it's really important to be empathetic because it gives me a chance to kind of sit in something and understand. Oh, yeah, that does not feel good. But I can't run that circuit too much because I'll wear myself out. But I can run the compassion circuit a lot longer where I can see if somebody's in pain, even if they're yelling at me or they're frustrated with something that, you know, life is tough there in a difficult situation that you might describe as suffering. I might describe a suffering.   - Max Yoder And to be a calm presence in the face of that is a gift in and of itself. I might not have to do anything more than that. Then just be calm in front of them, not diminish or dilute. What they're saying also enhance what they're saying. Just be there as a calm presence that listen. And who does that take me? Has that taken me a long time to learn?   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Can you give me an example? What has that looked like for you and your leadership over the last year and a half?   - Max Yoder Yeah. I think we can. I go back longer than that because I think the Lessonly journey is nine years long to date, July 12 today. And I noticed that as we hired more and more people, we hit 17 people, and then we hit 25 people and then hit 50 people, that there was always more feelings coming into the business. Right. A woman named Jill Bolte Taylor, a friend and somebody who I love says we are feeling creatures who think, not thinking, creatures who feel feeling, creatures who think.   - Max Yoder So we are a lot of feelings, right. We are very emotional. And for most of my life, I believe that was responsible for people's feelings. And I believed that I was responsible also for their judgments, which kind of two sides of the same coin. I just feeling responsible for two things that are not my responsibility. Right. Feelings and judgments of other folks. So I would try to carry those feelings as my own, and I would kind of assume those judgments as fact and they crushed me.   - Max Yoder So I'm going to focus on the feelings part today, as opposed to the judgments or for this moment, on the feelings part.   - Max Yoder There was a lot of feelings in the business, and every time we hired a new person, just more and more feelings, and we got to 50 people, and I couldn't take it anymore. I was probably a long pass being able to take it anymore. I was stressed, self medicating, trying to keep up with all the feelings. And it wasn't working because the frantic folks around me, if they were feeling frantic, I was becoming frantic myself, and that's just not what people need.   - Max Yoder So I was fortunate enough. One of my teammates, who her name was Casey Combo. At the time, she's since married, she gave me a book called Non Violent Communication, not because she knew I was struggling with this, but because she knew I was looking for different methods for clear communication that was not aggressive, that was not argumentative, but was clear and compassionate. And in this book, Marshall Rosenberg writes about emotional slavery, which was exactly what I was. I was an emotional slave. I believe other people's feelings my responsibility.   - Max Yoder And then he writes about emotional liberation. And he talks about these stages, the first stage, being emotional slavery of I assume your feelings as my own and my responsibility, and I carry them, and I get tired and you get tired. He says that a lot of times when people do that for so long, they might move into the next stage, which is basically disavowing other people's feelings. And right, about 50 people. That's really the only thing I knew how to do at that point. I was like, I can't carry all these feelings, so I'm just going to say no to all of them.   - Max Yoder We hired Megan Jarvis at that point or head of the yeah, wonderful. Right. And I was like, hey, Megan, I'm so glad you're here. I need you to take the ceilings, like, I just need to go high. But, like, that was so not fun for me, because being with people is why I like my job, you know? So hiding from the feelings, man, I wasn't going to like my job, so it was just not going to work. So depending on my energy levels, I'd either carry people's feelings or I would hide.   - Max Yoder And Marshall Rosenberg showed me that there's a third way. So those are two extremes right side of turning feelings all the way down to I don't care at all. So turning it down to 0% or turning it all the way up to a 100% care about everybody's feelings. And he makes it clear that there's this divine middle and that divine middle is emotional liberation, where I can be compassionate and show compassion to an individual. But I do not need to carry whatever it is that they are feeling, right, not my responsibility to.   - Max Yoder And the thing about the thing that I think this is so important for me in my life is I think this was my biggest blocker, my biggest blocker to grow like something that I may have gone through my whole life and never addressed if it were not for something like Lessonly. Lessonly is this thing that's bigger than me, and it needed me. It was either going to crush me if I didn't figure this out, or I need to figure this out to keep my job. I wasn't going to be able to do my job if I didn't figure this out.   - Max Yoder And so this bigger thing than me forced me to figure this out. And Marshall Rosenberg game is a blueprint of emotional liberation, and that's what I began to practice. And I don't know if I'm never going to be the same because of that.   - Max Yoder In a really, really healthy way. I don't feel responsible for other people's feelings anymore. I feel responsible for my feelings and kind of making sure that I take care of myself. I are responsible for my intent behind my behavior. I'm responsible for my behavior.   - Max Yoder I consider myself responsible for those things. Doesn't mean I consider you responsible for yours. I just telling you, I consider my response for those things. And so that's what I focus on.   - Max Yoder And the reason I bring that up is in the journey of lesson. Like, there's been nothing more important to me than this.   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes I'm struck in finding that third way that you needed to develop a skill set of perhaps encountering the emotion. And I don't know if discharging is the right word, but even, like, energetically being able to release your feelings of responsibility, what what did that look like?   - Max Yoder Thanks for asking that. I mean, very clumsy at first. Right. Like, understanding something intellectually does not mean that I can do it. Well, I have to practice it again and again and again, which is a whole other topic we should discuss of. Just like, intellectual understanding is not knowing. Knowing is doing. You cannot know something without having done it is otherwise it's intellectual understanding. So I had to practice a heck of a lot and remind myself that when somebody came to me and brought something, it was always coming through the lens of their own experiences.   - Max Yoder And it was never simply about the thing that had happened. They were also bringing to me whatever else was going on in our life, because we can't separate that. We can't separate, like if we're having an emotionally charged home life and something happens at work, and it is like the straw that breaks the camel's back. What I hear from that person is just the work thing, right? What I don't see is all the stuff underneath the water that is happening. That is not my business, but it's always there, right?   - Max Yoder And when I would make a decision network Edwin Friedman, who wrote this book called The Failure of Nerve, he really helped me with this. He helped me understand that I'm always in a relational triangle with each person. And this was a big breakthrough for me. This is like something that intellectually, really helped me break through in terms of my practice, which was when somebody comes to me, there's always a third thing in the room, and that is a prior issue that they might be bringing, or I might be bringing or another person that they might be bringing to the conversation where I might be bringing.   - Max Yoder So to make it clear, like, Liesel, you and I are engaging right now, and we need shortcuts to kind of understand how to behave with one another. So we might filter through other people that we know that remind us of one another. And so when I meet people like Liesel, which this is just a brain by a shortcut, these things you'll come to mind. And in your case, I get a lot of warmth from you. But let's say I reminded you of somebody who really rub you the wrong way in the past.   - Max Yoder You might engage with me through the lens of that person. It's not just about me and you directly. It's a third thing that everything goes through and that's happening all the time everywhere. We're not directly relating to one another, relating through our past experiences and the people that we've known in the past. That helped me a lot, because when somebody would come to me and be really fired up about something that I thought was disproportionate to what it just happened, it helped me understand why that might be.   - Max Yoder There might have been a past issue, that this was emotional wound that was being poked at. It was not my responsibility, right? But I can sit there and be attached into the person. And maybe they don't understand that here, bringing that to the table. But I can have a sense like, this is not just about me and this person and this thing that's happening, they're filtering through their life. Right? And so when I realized that through Edwin Freeman, I realized it almost gave me permission to not carry things, because people are always bringing more to me than was between me and them.   - Max Yoder And I'm always bringing more to people that is between me and them. So I don't want them to carry my stuff. And I don't want to carry theirs. Does that help, or does that make sense?   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Yeah. That understanding. Did you find yourself needing? Some people engage in breathing exercises or they find themselves even to physically move as you are growing in this practice, there were things that you were like reading that were helping contextualize it. Were there other things that you like, embodied practices that were really helping.   - Max Yoder Oh, yeah. Getting sleep sober, sleep hugely helpful. Like, I can show up and be calm in a conversation in a much richer way if I do not drink booze before bed. And I don't mean, like, I mean any amount of booze. And this is a rule that I break a lot for myself, which is like even a glass of wine at 05:00 p.m. Or 06:00 p.m.. It affects my sleep. So if I really want to be the best version of me, I say no, and I sleep better.   - Max Yoder And it's just a fact of the matter. I am much less agitated. I am much calmer. So doing my pre work of getting exercise, eating well, sleeping well. And all those things are intertwined, what I eat and how I exercise to fix my sleep. So that matters to me a lot of just kind of taking care of myself and controlling the variables I can control. And then in that moment, if somebody's losing, they're cool in front of me or I'm losing my cool in front of them.   - Max Yoder And my therapist, Terry Daniel, says it can help basically coach me. It can help to put your hand on your stomach, like, on your skin. And it can be a safer thing to do when we're not physically in the room together. Like, let's say I'm having a different conversation over the phone, like, happening a lot over COVID. And just that skin to skin connection with myself can be very helpful. Breathing. Breathing deeply when I'm with somebody can be very helpful. Breathing and showing them slow my breath down can even be coming to them.   - Max Yoder So, yeah, there's physical things that I can do in that moment. And I hope it's very clear that I'm not suggesting that I nail this every time. Right. These are just tools that I have to do this a little bit better every day.   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Yeah. I think that's helpful. As you were beginning, you talked about this inflection point at 50 employees where you started giving more attention to the particular presence that you were bringing. What did you start to notice? Did you notice the difference in people's receptivity to you and the sorts of things they were saying back to you as you grew in this practice?   - Max Yoder Yeah. Here's one thing that comes to mind that I noticed is I noticed I didn't have to solve anybody's problems for them. And I used to think I had to, like, I used to think I had to come up with solutions. And more than anything, now, I can be with somebody ask them questions and ask them questions and do active listening. So, like, one of the things I learned through motivational interviewing is if somebody's telling me something instead of asking a question, saying something like, so maybe somebody comes to me and says they haven't responded to me three times.   - Max Yoder You're frustrated might be the way I summarize where I think that person is at based on what they just told me. And then they had to go, Well, not really frustrated, just a little bit irritated. Or they go, yeah, I'm totally frustrated, and they keep talking. And when I'm getting them to do with this verbally process, and I'm only doing that because when they verbally process this stuff, they come up with answers a lot better. Right. But if I'm talking the whole time, it's tough for them to find answers.   - Max Yoder So when I reflect what I'm hearing with a statement, it gives them a chance to keep talking so that they can kind of maybe all I have to do is just get it out. Right. Not keep it in, just say it to somebody. Some days that's all that happened, and two or three days go by and they call me and they say, I think I figured out what to do. Thanks for listening the other day, it just is it. And I'm somebody who wants to solve a problem.   - Max Yoder Right. But in fact, sometimes I'm doing somebody a major disservice by even if I got the answer right on the off chance I get the answer right. With the limited information I have sometimes saying, hey, maybe here's what you should do is a complete disservice to that individual, because me giving it to them might make them more likely to actually not pick it up and do it. But if I were to just a little calmer and let them give you that conclusion themselves, it's so much more powerful if they thought of it.   - Max Yoder Right. Like, you don't want to be told to do things. So sometimes even if it's the right call, we might do the opposite of what I've just been told because we got told to do it. But if somebody can figure it out themselves, that's the most powerful.   - Max Yoder That's the most powerful recipe, even if it's exactly the same thing I would have said. Right. And most of the time, of course, I don't have the answer. But I guess my point is sometimes even giving somebody the answer unless they're asking me for it.   - Max Yoder Right. Unless they're saying Max, I really want your feedback here, which is a whole different prompt. Right. But if they're not asking for it and give it a I can do a major disservice in that process.   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Yeah. I think that's such a good word, because I think especially as people get, we oftentimes promote people on their capacity to solve problems. It's a really valuable skill set to organizational growth and leadership. In my work, I call it the predisposition to be in a Fix-It, Frank.   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes And what I heard and what you said is also a comfortability with a slightly extended time horizon. I think as I verbally process something that I see in the leaders that I work with, is there this imperative of like, well, we need to get it figured out now. We need to get it figured out in the moment. And I've got insights and I've got a history, and so I'll give it to you, and then you'll be happy. And how that short circuiting of the process, it can be a move of not believing that there's enough time to let somebody come to their own conclusion or not believing that they have the capacity of do so.   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes So I've just got to give it to you in this moment.   - Max Yoder Right.   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes And the cost that can be associated with doing that, I think he spoke really eloquently to.   - Max Yoder Well, thank you for hearing me out, because I think that's taking me a long time. Like, what I saw is the people who I would go to therapy with were very reluctant to give answers. So they were modeling for me, and I'd ask them why, and they teach me. And I don't consider myself a therapist. Right. But these people I do consider they are therapists. They're professinally, trained and in some cases, done it for 40 years. That's a long time. And there's a lot of mistakes being made in that process to their admittance, seeing them and seeing how helpful it was for me, but also knowing that there were times when I would go to that person to say I'd really like some advice.   - Max Yoder And I've opened the door at that point to hear them. And many times the advice they give me, I don't take it up with open arms. It's when that advice feels pushed, then that's when it doesn't work, right. When it feels pushed or forced. But when it's invited, that's a whole different motion.   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Right. So the acknowledgment of seeing a therapist of some of the things that they have helped you with. You recently did something for your company where you interviewed your therapist to talk about boundaries. I'd like to hear about why that felt important for you to do. And what were some of the key learnings that you felt like were really important for your people,   - Max Yoder Yeah. So while I was important and what do people take away from it? I can only tell you what to away from because they haven't seen the interview yet. At the time of this conversation, we have not shown it to them yet. But I'll tell you what I hope to take away from it. But I'll start with, hey, here's why this is important. Many of my teammates asked me about boundaries just completely unprompted. They would come to me and say, hey, I'm going on a vacation. I know that you encourage us to turn all of our stuff off, to delete our email and our delete our slack from our phones, so we're not going to compulsively check them.   - Max Yoder But I don't know if I'm comfortable doing that. And for whatever reason, they were not willing to accept themselves doing that they were concerned. And that's a boundaries challenge for me. I speak openly about having engaged with people that I love who have substance use challenges. And I speak openly about having to learn about boundaries in that process where I begin and they end in where they end, and I begin. It's a very important part of understanding how to be healthy in the midst of something that is really, really challenging, which is substance use disorder, which you might co alcoholism or any number of things.   - Max Yoder Right. So I speak openly about these things. People come to me, and it's clear to me that this is not something that we get a lot of attention. And I would generally share. See, if somebody wanted something from me, I would generally share a talk by Gabor Monte called "When the body says no" was good.   - Max Yoder He's a master, and he speaks about boundaries. Basically, caregivers tend to struggle taking care of themselves, and they'll just give care and give care and give care, and they will not care for themselves. They'll be asymmetrical in the way they give care. The way that they care for somebody else is one way. And the way that her from themselves is completely opposite. Basically, like, they don't deserve any care, but everybody else deserves all the care. And he basically talks about how this just Withers people away. So all of these things combined, I know boundaries are important in my life, and my teammates come to me and say they matter.   - Max Yoder Gabor Mate gives this talk. And when I share with people, they tell me like, oh, my gosh, my brain just blew open in such an interesting way because he's so profound. So I'm thinking, hey, this is a chance for me, too. And so I asked my therapist about how does he view boundaries? And he gave this just excellent off the cuff answer. And I was like, Can I just interview you sometime about this? And so we can share this with my teammates, because exactly what you just said.   - Max Yoder So he comes in and we talk about boundaries. And I thought it was important because I just it's just not talked about in our world. Right? We think Kind is doing things for other people, kind of at any expense to ourselves. Right. Like, well, they asked for it. So I got to give it because I don't want to be a jerk.   - Max Yoder It's like that. It's not. We have to counterbalance kindness with boundaries, with assertiveness. And I just see people who do not have those tools to be assertive, and it's very stressful for them, and I ultimately think it's slowly killing them. So I think this is important. So here's what I hope people take from it. When they hear a assertiveness, I think they maybe hear aggressiveness. And Terry is very clear that you can be assertive without infringing on anybody else's energy or anybody else's motion. Like, it's not about aggression, right?   - Max Yoder Those are two different things. Assertiveness is the ability to say yes or no based on you wanting to or not wanting to. And he says it ultimately comes from a place of self acceptance. If I enter a space and I accept myself, then I can assert my needs. And asserting my needs does not mean dominating your needs, right? It just means if I'm tired, somebody comes to me and says, hey, can we do this thing today? I might say if I'd like to do it tomorrow, I just don't have the energy today.   - Max Yoder I like to do it tomorrow. And if that person is not willing to accept it, I say I understand, but I still have the energy. Can we do it tomorrow? And he's like, if you don't accept yourself, you won't even ask. You may not even ask the question of can we do it tomorrow? Because you may be coming from a place to say, I'm not good enough in order to feel good enough, I need to answer this request. But he's, like an accepting person, believes they're good enough.   - Max Yoder They don't believe that they're going to be good enough by doing the request on the demanded time. Right. They're just good enough. And so he really clarified in a big way how self acceptance is key here. And what keeps us from exerting boundaries is a fear. And each person's fear might be different. But understanding what that fear is, it might be that you feel like you're not good enough for X, Y, or Z reason might be something different, but getting down to that fear and understanding it and and working through that is the way that we get to a place where we're comfortable enough to say no, thank you and stand by it and not be worried that that person, we're going to lose that person by doing so.   - Max Yoder So there.   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Well, and as I think of some of the responses and groups and surveys and the work that I do, I think there's an underlying fear for many people that if I assert this boundary, people aren't going to like me as much. They're going to think I'm lazy. And while you, as a leader, cannot, in a top down way, control people's responses to things like establishing boundaries or expressing vulnerability, that there is an element of culture creation that goes into this. How do we, as a group, you know, not always perfectly respond, but have more of a context where we, like, make the space for that.   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes We make the space for it's okay to say no. We make the space for vulnerability. What are some of the ways that you have co created with some of the other leaders at Lessonly, a culture that says it's okay to do that? What are things that you have done that have moved the needle?   - Max Yoder Yeah. So if the executive team at Lessonly is unable to assert ourselves, like, if we are not assertive in a situation, if we say yes to every new thing that comes our way, we are not modeling what we need the rest of our teammates to do. So it's incredibly important that a certain boundaries in my life that the executive team set boundaries and their lives, that when it's too much, we say it's too much. That is the fundamentally most important thing we can do to make it okay for anybody else to do it.   - Max Yoder The opposite approach that does not work is the same as your boss saying, hey, I don't expect you to work on the weekends, but I'm gonna because, you know, I got a lot to do, but I don't expect you to, and that just doesn't work. You know what? People here, I better be working on the weekends, right? If your behavior is not aligned to your words, people are going to look at your behavior, right? Not your words. They're going to trust your behavior, not your words.   - Max Yoder So what I want to do is align my words to my behavior, which is to say weekends are sacred, just like winter is the season that allows for spring. And winter is a season where it looks like there's not a lot happening, but there is a lot happening. Sleep at a time when it look like there's not a lot happening, but there is a lot happening. We need weekends or it looks like there's not a lot happening, but there is a lot happening, right? This resting and recharging is incredibly important.   - Max Yoder And if I don't treat my weekends like I want to people to treat them. And then why would I believe they're going to do that? Right. I can't do anything more than that is just make the space to say like, I mean it when I say this, and I mean it because this is my behavior, and I need my executive teammates to mean it, too. And I need the managers to also mean it, too. And in some ways, that goes well in other ways. It doesn't.   - Max Yoder Right. But it's ultimately out of my hands to some degree. Right. If people are going to pick that up, if we have a chronically, chronic challenge of the teammate, it's my responsibility to have a difficult conversation with them and let them know how important their modeling is, no doubt. But ultimately they're going to make the call if they want to change their behavior or not. And it's out of my hands if I'm doing it myself.   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes I'm struck right now that it's a tight labor market for many people.  Lessonly is growing. You're wanting to bring more people on. Do you feel like you have seen a through line towards creating this kind of culture where rests and seasons and vulnerability is upheld and valued and the way you're able to attract and retain talent?   - Max Yoder I think we understand part of the recipe, but we exist in a system, though, that is chronically overworked and systems win. Like individuals, we've created a system a lesson that I'm really proud of. But we're also in this broader work environment, in this cultural environment of overwork. And unfortunately, those systems, if we don't kind of remove ourselves from them and do a lot of extra work, they win. The bigger system wins. The culture wins. If they didn't win, we wouldn't probably have 25% to 50% of the population reporting depressive States.   - Max Yoder Right.   - Max Yoder The culture is winning. We've optimized for economic growth, we've optimized for consumerism, we've optimized for commercialism. We haven't optimized for well being. And look what we're getting, right. We're not getting a lot of well being because the system is not in support of of that. So it's discouraging. It just is. And so we can only do so much less only to turn the tide. But it's our job to at least try. And one of the things that I find complete myself to be completely powerless to change is that there is no winter in software.   - Max Yoder There's no winter in the business world. There is no period of three months like there is for a pro athlete or for a farmer, where we work really hard and we plant and then we harvest. I'm not a farmer, so I'm not going to use all the right words, but we create a crop or mini crops. And then we have this period with winter where we take our time to rebuild. And pro athletes have their own seasoned in their off seasons. And this is wise. This is wise.   - Max Yoder I have not figured out how to recreate that in the business world. And I don't know if I ever will. It just is the system at work, right? Our customers, even if we take that time off, if we were to say less, only going to B nine months out of twelve, we're going to lose deals because there's a lot of deals because people need us for those three months, they were going to be off, right? Because they're going to be on. So, you know, it's not an excuse.   - Max Yoder It's just me saying, like, I don't know how to do it, right.   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes The pressures of the prevailing system of capitalism that prioritizes growth and efficiency above all else.   - Max Yoder You said it well.   MUSICAL TRANSITION   We'll return in just a moment for the final portion of my engaging interview with Max.  But I want to take a moment to thank our sponsor, Handle with Care Consulting.  In the midst of the unrelenting stressors the last year and a half, are you giving your people what they need to stay engaged?  Empathy is key to building the sort of culture of connection that Max is talking about at Lessonly.  And the good news is, it is a skill that can be learned!  If you want help in skill-ing your people up in empathy and creating a place where people want to come to work, Handle with Care Consulting can help.  With interactive keynotes, empathy at work certificate programs, and coaching options, we can help you show care when it matters most.   MUSICAL TRANSITON   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes I would love to hear about times when building connection at your workplace have felt easy for you and why you think they felt easy. And then I'm going to have to underside. What are times when building connections felt really hard for you and why you think to start with when it felt easy?   - Max Yoder Yeah. When it's all easy to build connections, when I am accepting on myself to go back to Terry Daniels lesson. I mean, it has everything to do with my my internal system being an equilibrium, you know, which is a delicate thing, right? One night of sleep and throw it off. But when I am in this place of peace with myself, I'm able to bring peace to my connections and not view myself as needing to be anything other than what I am. But when I'm not at peace with myself, I can go to a state of judgment and criticism.   - Max Yoder And if I drop a ball or miss a mark and these are judgments that I would make of myself, you mess that up, you drop this ball, you miss that Mark. Those are all judgments in their evaluator language. It can be very harsh with myself and showing up to a situation. Putting intense pressure myself does not increase my connection to the person in front of me or the room in front of me. But when I show up and just say, like, you know, I accept myself, and acceptance does not equal agreement.   - Max Yoder Like, acceptance does not mean I've got it all figured out. Therefore, I'm good. Acceptance just means I'm willing to look at my own behavior and accept it. Whether it's behavior that I can objectively say is life giving or soul sucking, I have to be able to look at it to accept myself. And once I can look at it, I might be able to make changes. But if I can't look at something, it's tough to change it. Right. So acceptance is not about saying I like everything that's going on in my life, just about saying I'm willing to look at everthing that going in my life with in an even handed way.   - Max Yoder And when I accept myself, I can show up to a room with my new teammates or my old teammates or a mixture of the two and be peaceful in front of them and talk about mistakes without feeling ashamed and talk about things that I'm proud of without feeling ashamed and and share my humanity. And if I can do that, it maybe gives another person's permission to do the same. So I think it has everything to do with my personal system, being in a good spot here and then acknowledging that my personal system is often not in a good spot to folks so that they understand, like, hey, they're not dealing with somebody who's got this figured out, right?   - Max Yoder Like day in and day out. I might have a different equilibrium, or I might have a different disequilibrium, right? It's not about coming at this from a place like I've got this oneness every day. I certainly do not do. Not at all. Right. But when I'm at peace, I can connect better. And I find that to be a really fun time in that journey towards self acceptance.   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Something consistent theme that I hear from leaders is just the particular burden of other people's expectations about what it looks like to lead or manage change in a given season; as you are seeking that equilibrium and self acceptance, what about when you smack up against somebody else's? Like, judgment? I needed you to be different. I wanted you. You're not doing it the way that I would like for you to. How do you encounter those voices, real or perceived and still work to maintain well in the balance?   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Because sometimes we do need to change. Sometimes it's like, oh, that was a blind spot. I need to change. And sometimes we need to be able to have the discernment to say, like, hey, that's your stuff, not mine. How do you navigate that process?   - Max Yoder You nailed it, right? How much does this person love me? Is my first question. How well does this person know me? If it's my wife, I know she deeply loves me. And when she brings me something where she says, hey, what I got and what I needed were far apart, I'm listening. I'm not sitting there saying, hey, your expectations of me don't matter, right? I'm listening. It might not be that I agree with everything she says, right? But I'm definitely not shutting it all out either, right?   - Max Yoder She is just like me going to come at this from an emotional triangle of past wounds, but doesn't mean that there's not real meat on the boat when she's frustrated. Right now, if somebody needs something from me and I don't know them very well, and I'm skeptical that they love me or know me really at all, it's not that challenging anymore for me to just kind of let that. There's a moment at first that I go back to my old self of getting defensive or being hurt.   - Max Yoder And it's more than a moment sometimes, right? It could be an hour. It could be 2 hours. It could be 3 hours. It could be a good night sleep that needs me through it. But then I'm like, yeah, that's okay. Life is too short. So it depends on my relationship to this individual. And Brene Brown has the idea of the Square Squad, where, you know, the coal world can't be my critic, and I can't have nobody has my critic either, right? I need the people who love me, care about me.   - Max Yoder And if the Square Squad is the one inch by one inch piece of paper where I can put the names of the people who I know love me, who will tell me the truth as they see the truth, right? They're version of the truth, and I know that they're not going to willingly hurt me for fun. And those are the folks who feedback. I am a lot more. I'm a lot more discerning with. Right? But if somebody's coming out with this condemnation or an unspoken expectation and they say you didn't meet my unspoken expectation, like, that is not my problem because it's an unbroken expectation.   - Max Yoder There was no agreement there. I've got a chapter and Do Better Work, which is a book I got to write a couple of years ago that uses Steve Chandler wisdom of expectations versus agreement. Like, if we did not agree to that thing, then we have to get that agreement now and then begin to hold another accountable going forward. But if we didn't have an agreement and you're mad about not spoken expectation, like, I need you to look in the mirror and say, like, hey, we get an agreement because I don't remember the agreement now, and I can't read your mind, and we don't need to go back and litigate the path that you're frustrated about when we didn't have this agreement.   - Max Yoder Just an unspoken expectation. But we can make an agreement now. And an agreement is not you dictating at me or me dictating you. It's us going back and forth and negotiating a course of action that we say, okay, this feels good collectively. You know, that is a relationship. When we do that, the other thing is just, you know, I can't live in a world where I just have to respond to everybody's unspoken expectations.   MUSICAL TRANSITION   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Something that I like and have appreciated. I think I've been getting your emails for, like, the last two years just because I enjoy reading them.   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes But you compiled them into a book that you just referenced. Do Better Work. You have a new book coming out. Tell us about that.   - Max Yoder Yeah. So I took those notes and compiled it. So the first book do better work. I'd been writing notes, took some of those, turn them into chapters. This one is called To See It, be It. And I'll say that a little slower to see it. Be it. The idea is, if you want to see it, be it. And that's the best you can do. Right. I want to see more patience in this moment. Bring patience. If you want to see more creativity in the world, bring creativity.   - Max Yoder And then let go of all the other stuff of what you want other people to be doing, because I think it's just very, very common and very easy to get wrapped around the axle of what other people are not doing. And I honestly think some people will die spending most of their time complaining about what somebody else is or is not doing instead of going, do I do what I value? Right? Do I live by what I value? And, of course, the answer is going to be no, because nobody does that perfectly.   - Max Yoder And then the next question, if the answer is no, what it always is, how can I begin to spend more time doing what I value? And let go of worrying about what anybody else is doing?  And, of course, there's a relationships with husbands and wives and kids were that's incredibly difficult, right. And there might have to be boundary set where I feel like I'm living my values over here and there's somebody else in my space consistently that I just don't feel like I can do my best self around.   - Max Yoder That might require boundaries of separation. I just don't be together anymore. But what I'm getting at is, I think one of the greatest things we can do for ourselves to say what I want to see in the world, and how do I, at the time align to what I want to see in the world? And I think what happens when we do that is we either find that the things we want to see in the world has validity to them. We start to live them, and we start to see that they're very life giving.   - Max Yoder Like, let's just use an example of getting good sleep. I want to see people well rested in the world. Well, I can't control how you sleep. I can control how I sleep. So if I take care of my rest, I want to see it, and I'm being it, right. And I can let go of all the other things. But at least I'm doing the thing that I want to see more people doing, and I'm letting go of whether they're doing it or.   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Yeah, not.   - Max Yoder And as I do that, I might say, hey, this feels pretty good. Like I had a hunch that sleep taking care of sleep was going to be helpful. And look how beautiful life is now that I've been able to take care of my sleep, which I understand is not an option for everybody. But I'm saying it's an option for me. So sometimes living my values strengthens those values. Other times, living things that I believe I value, like I intellectually value it, and then I start trying to live it.   - Max Yoder I found out, oh, I don't really value that as much as I thought I would putting into practice. I see that there is that there are problems and there are always problems with any value is taken to an extreme. Like loyalty. I value loyalty. Taken to the extreme, it becomes blind loyalty. If I turn it all the way up to 100% loyalty, I become blindly loyal. If I turn all the way down to 0% loyalty, I don't have any loyalty at all. Right. I need to have that loyalty dialed into something somewhere in the middle counterbalanced with once again assertiveness and boundaries.   - Max Yoder I'm loyal to somebody, but not at the expense of my own mental health and well being. It those two things counterbalance one another. So only by living that value do I learn those hard lessons, in my opinion. Right. I can't learn them intellectually. I have to live them and say, oh, wow, I do value this, but I value a different permutation of it than I thought. That makes sense.   - Max Yoder So that's what the book that's the first chapter of the book is, or the first note in the book. And then there's 24 notes after that of other things that I just think are important, and I share them because they help me and they help somebody else. Great. I just know for a fact that all 25 of them help me. And my hope is that maybe one day somebody picks them up and they want to read the book. Right. They're choosing to read the book. And one of the notes, as as it helps me in the past, helps them in a similar way or a different way altogether.   - Max Yoder That is healing as the whole point of the book.   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Right. Well, and your writing is accessible. It's oftentimes encompassing story. It's nice digestible bits of wisdom that you could blaze through all at once, so you could flip through and take a little at a time. So I'm excited about this new offering.   - Max Yoder Thank you for being open to it. It's a great joy for me to write. I got to dedicate it to my daughter, and I dedicated to her because I just want I could get hit by a bus one day. Liesel. My dad owns a funeral home, and my dad's dad started a funeral home. My dad and his brother ran the funeral home for last 30 years, 20, 30 years. And people just get they just leave, right? They don't choose to go a lot of the time. It's not old age that takes us all.   - Max Yoder So I'm very highly aware that, like, is not my choice when I get to go and so writing for me is a chance to capture a bit of my spirit. And if I have to go for whatever reason, my daughter can pick up this book and do better work and and catch a little bit of her dad and deeply special to me to be able to capture a little bit of my spirit. And it really forced the genuineness out of it.   - Max Yoder Right. Because I don't want it.   - Max Yoder I don't want my I got to be genuine under that premise. Right. Like, I got to say what I believe, what I mean and what I stand by, because I don't want my daughter reading about somebody who didn't exist.   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Right. Or reflecting in an individual that is not integrated with their best thoughts. Like, we're always seeking that integration, but you don't want a glaring gap between what you say and how you live, right.   - Max Yoder And I want her to see that I hurt. I make mistakes. Right. She's not going to get a picture of a perfect human being because I've never been one of those and they don't exist. She's going to get a picture of somebody who struggled, and that's what I want her to have, because that's the model I want to be. Hey, life is a lot of struggle, and there's a lot of beauty in that, you know, a lot of beauty in that. I've been very fortunate in that struggle, right.   - Max Yoder I always had a roof over my head. I always had food to eat. I don't pretend my struggles like anybody elses, but I can tell you struggle nonetheless. And I don't want her to think that life should just fall into place and be peachy. And that's what life is.   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes So as we draw near the end of our time for listeners who say I want to build more connection in my workplace, I want to be part of that change.   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes I know it's a broad question, but what words of insight would you offer to them as they think about how to go about doing that?   - Max Yoder So I want people to ask themselves, what do I value? And how do I, 1% of the time seek to live that value and become symmetrical and congruent with what I value in my behavior? And then how do I learn in that process? Because that's the best I can do. And if I'm in a system like, let's say I'm in a work system where it does not align to my values, I have to ask myself, Am I willing to change into those systems value because the work system will change every person in it if they stay long enough, right?   - Max Yoder It could even change them quickly. But if I'm in a system that is not congruent with my values, I'm going to be nervous because it's possible that that system actually has values that are very life giving. It stay long enough, I'll find out. But if I find out they're not life giving, I stick around. There is a casualty there. There is a loss there. So my ask to people is if you want to see it, be it and then pay attention to what the system cares about.   - Max Yoder And if the system is so disproportionately, caring about things that are not what you care about is very important. If possible, you get out.   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes That's a good word, Max. Are there any questions that you wish I would have asked you that I didn't ask you?   - Max Yoder Let's see. I mean, I've talked about values a lot, so real quickly, I think something that I love talking about is this idea of reciprocity. Liesel, yeah.   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes Tell me more.   - Max Yoder Yeah. So reciprocity is idea of I give what I get. And so let's say I get kindness from somebody, so I give it back. But a lot of times reciprocity comes through in a relationship where people are not communicating very clearly, when maybe somebody is struggling and they take their aggression out at somebody else, reciprocity is oftentimes somebody yelled at me. So I yell at them. Somebody didn't respond to my message, so I don't respond to their message. So it becomes I give what I get. And reciprocal cultures, if we're having behaviors that are life giving really beautiful, right?   - Max Yoder Because somebody gives me patience. Ideally, I respond to them with patience, right? Somebody gives me support. Ideally, I respond to them with support. Reciprocity is not necessarily something that is good or bad. It just is. And it resides about giving what we get. So what's the alternative to that? Well, it's living by values, which is, I think, supremely important to understand. If somebody comes to me, maybe somebody doesn't respond to my message that I sent them. And then later, they need something for me. So now they're asking me for my time.   - Max Yoder If I'm reciprocal, I say, Well, they didn't respond to me when I needed them, so I'm not going to respond to them. But if I value driven, I say I value communication, right? I value support, and I would have value that person responding to me when I needed their help. So regardless of the fact that I didn't get it from them, I'm going to give it to them, not out of fight, not to show them the way. Right. Because I value it. It's really important that we get those two things.   - Max Yoder It's not out of fight, right? It's not to prove anything to this person. It's because I value it. So if you're not having difficult conversations with me, it's not an excuse for me because I'm not living in reciprocal life. I believe in difficult conversations. I believe in having them. I'm going to have them with you. And that's the best I can do. You may not respond in the way that I hope that's out of my hands, right. I just value difficult conversations. I value patients. I value forgiveness whether I get them or not.   - Max Yoder So I think reciprocating can be a race to the bottom. It can be this kind of slippery slope of just degrading cultures, degrading relationships, and values based living. If I do it because I value it, not because I get it in return is the answer, in my opinion.   - Liesel Mindrebo Mertes I love it. I agree.   MUSICAL TRANSITION   Here are three key takeaways from my conversation with Max and I have to confess, there were definitely more than three valuable takeaways, but I have narrowed it down to these three…   Where are you in the spectrum of people pleasing?  Max talked about emotional slavery (feeling responsible for the emotions of others), and emotional disavowal (rejecting the emotions of others), and the third path of emotional liberation:  being able to adknowledge the meotions of others without being ruled by them.  Where are you find yourself most often ending up? Remember, there is always a third person or situation in each interaction:a relational triangle. People bring their previous experiences, their wounding, their successes, and their home life to a given situation.  It is important to acknowledge this reality because it helps us to contextualize situations.  Max encouraged listeners to ask the question, “What are my values?” and then to take a good look at the organization that they are a part of.If you organization is acting, consistently, against your values, there is a cost.  And maybe it is time to leave.    MUSICAL TRANSITION   OUTRO   Max Yoder:  Do Better Work Robert Sapolsky:  Behave:  The Biology of Humans at Our Best and Worst Robert Zapolsky:  Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers Gabor Mate:  When the Body Says No Marshall Rosenberg:  Non-Violent Communication 

Hearts Unleashed
248: 15 Min Fill Up: Universal Law Series: The Law of Receiving

Hearts Unleashed

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 23, 2021 15:43


Today's 15 Min Fill Up might help a lot of you distinguish the difference of giving in order to receive and giving with the expectation of receiving. In this 15 Min Fill Up episode I explain the Law of Reciprocity and how we have made it a transactional exchange and expect instant gratification. Because of the societal norms we are growing up in, the Law of Receiving is widely misunderstood and turned into something completely different. I invite you to check out this episode to start giving and receiving with clarity and detachment.

TonioTimeDaily
I love The Center of Progressive Christianity (TCPC), I love Progressive Liberal religion!

TonioTimeDaily

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 22, 2021 34:37


"People who may be considered progressive Christians include those who: Disagree with and may even be repelled by exclusivist beliefs. Reject the concept that only their branch of their religion has a monopoly on truth and that all other spiritual paths are in error. Attempt to move beyond biblical inerrancy, established creeds, and church dogma. They try to recognize, as author Jack Good has written: "the fingerprints of humankind on all religious documents and symbols." Value the search for truth, even though they believe the truth can never be fully possessed. They view it as more important and challenging than the acceptance of those fixed beliefs found in the past by others and embedded in church creeds. Who are, as Jack Good describes, "chaos tolerant": They can handle a degree of disorder, uncertainty, and ambiguity in life and want to be "partners in the exciting search for tentative but satisfying answers to the most pressing problems of existence." Can absorb rapid change in their beliefs, as they integrate findings from social and physical sciences. Believe in the Ethic of Reciprocity: that how they treat other people is more important than the specifics of what they believe about God, humanity and the rest of the universe. That Collective Salvation is required for the salvation of the earth and society. Focus: The teachings and life of Jesus provide them with a path to God. Pluralism: They recognize that others follow their own paths to God which are equally true for them. Communion: They view the sharing of bread and wine in Jesus' name to represent "an ancient vision of God's feast for all peoples." Inclusivity: All are welcome to become involved; persons of all genders, sexual orientations, traditions, races, etc. Reciprocity: How people treat one another is the "fullest expression" of their beliefs. Search: They find more grace in searching for truth than in accepting certainty. Community: They form communities to support each other in their quest for peace, justice, a restored environment, and to provide hope. Cost: Following Jesus involves a personal investment in "selfless love, conscientious resistance to evil, and renunciation of privilege." The Center for Progressive Christianity symbol is an eight-pointed star, representing the eight ideas that they hold in common." --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/antonio-myers4/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/antonio-myers4/support

Podcast Notes Playlist: Latest Episodes
Dr. Anna Lembke: Understanding & Treating Addiction | Episode 33

Podcast Notes Playlist: Latest Episodes

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 22, 2021 122:32


Huberman Lab Podcast Notes Key Takeaways Dopamine is not only associated with reward and pleasure but also triggers actionA dopamine spike is associated with a subsequent dopamine deficit where levels fall below baseline – this is the moment you chase more or ride out the tough partPleasure and pain work like a balance in the brain where one is only increased by reducing the otherThe initial entry point into drugs is often a desire to escape pain, not an attempt to seek pleasureYou can be addicted to anythingOnce you become addicted to something you are more vulnerable to addiction to other thingsTo reset the dopamine system and break addictive patterns: go 30 days without interaction with a drug, person, alcohol, social media, gambling, etc.“The first message I want to get across about social media is it really is a drug. And it's intended to be a drug.” – Dr. Anna LembkeOur collective mission should be to make sure we're finding ways to connect with others offlineRead the full notes @ podcastnotes.orgThis episode I interview Dr. Anna Lembke, MD, Chief of the Stanford Addiction Medicine Dual Diagnosis Clinic at Stanford University School of Medicine. Dr. Lembke is a psychiatrist expert in treating addictions of all kinds: drugs, alcohol, food, sex, video games, gambling, food, medication, etc. Dr. Lembke is also an expert in the opioid crisis, and the author of Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence (https://amzn.to/3AHHGBp). We discuss the biology and psychology of why people become addicted to certain substances and behaviors and the key role that our "dopamine balance" plays in creating addiction. We also discuss the science and practice of how to conquer addictions, why people relapse and how to avoid relapsing. Dr. Lembke also shares her expertise on topics closely related to addiction such as community, shame and lying and she explains why telling the truth—even about the most basic things in daily life, adjusts dopamine levels in our brain. This episode is an important one for anyone struggling with addictions of any kind, for their friends and families and for health care professionals. It is also for anyone who has defeated addiction and is determined to stay clean. Last but not least, it helps explain why all humans do what we do, and how we can all maintain a healthy sense of pleasure seeking in life.   Thank you to our sponsors: ROKA - https://www.roka.com -- code: huberman InsideTracker - https://www.insidetracker.com/huberman Headspace - https://www.headspace.com/specialoffer   Our Patreon page: https://www.patreon.com/andrewhuberman    Supplements from Thorne: http://www.thorne.com/u/huberman    Social: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/hubermanlab Twitter - https://twitter.com/hubermanlab Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/hubermanlab Website - https://hubermanlab.com Join the Neural Network - https://hubermanlab.com/neural-network   Dr. Anna Lembke Links: Website: https://bit.ly/3iPtGje   Stanford Profile: https://stanford.io/3AI9SEu  Dopamine Nation (new book): https://amzn.to/3AHHGBp    Timestamps: 00:00:00 Dr. Anna Lembke, Addiction Expert 00:02:25 Disclaimer & Sponsors: Roka, InsideTracker, Headspace 00:07:00 Dopamine, Happiness & Impulsivity  00:15:56 What Is Pleasure?  00:18:20 Addiction, Boredom & Passion for Life 00:24:00 Pain-Pleasure Balance Controls Addiction 00:29:10 Dopamine Deficits, Anhedonia 00:30:47 Are All Addictions the Same? 00:35:38 Boredom & Anxiety Lead to Creativity  00:40:35 Finding Your Passion Starts with Boredom & Action Steps  00:50:05 How to Break an Addiction 00:55:25 Relapse, Craving & Triggers 01:07:40 Can People Get Addicted To “Sobriety”?  01:11:45 Are We All Wired for Addiction?  01:15:57 Bizarre Addiction 01:18:14 Recovered Addicts Are Heroes 01:20:10 Lying, Truth Telling, Guilt & Shame 01:30:40 Clinical Applications of: Ibogaine, Ayahuasca, Psilocybin & MDMA  01:40:20 Social Media Addiction  01:51:25 Narcissism  01:53:30 Goal Seeking, Success & Surprise 01:58:10 Reciprocity 02:01:15 Closing Comments, Resources   Please note that The Huberman Lab Podcast is distinct from Dr. Huberman's teaching and research roles at Stanford University School of Medicine. The information provided in this show is not medical advice, nor should it be taken or applied as a replacement for medical advice. The Huberman Lab Podcast, its employees, guests and affiliates assume no liability for the application of the information discussed.   Title Card Photo Credit: Mike Blabac - https://www.blabacphoto.com 

Personal Development Unplugged
# 249 Q and A of a sort

Personal Development Unplugged

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 21, 2021 46:08


Q and A of a sort Or The Answer is only as good as the Question Very few share, at least who I know of, the power of questions and what to ask and how to ask - Tim Ferriss is a great one. Some try too hard and be too clever and fall down in giving a great service, a great habit, and a great way to problem-solve or seek the answers to your dreams And to my downfall, trying not to try too hard, not hard enough, found there are questions that don't need to be answered in the here and now but to experience the answers first hand and those that need musing. ANd I'll share with you if you come with me, both kinds and more importantly the 'How To' part that so many leave you hanging over. Because that's one of the foundational values of this podcast - to share everything especially the 'how too'. There is always a price to this knowledge though. "What I thought this was free Cloughie?!!!!" No, the cost is sharing this and what you learn to everyone, the ultimate pay it forward. Here's the link for this episode: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/249-q-and-a-of-a-sort/ And you also have to share your feedback with me too - It's a lot I know but so well worth it and the Law of Reciprocity is on your side so it's win- win-win all the way. Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me feedback@personaldevelopmentunplugged.com If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie Why not look for me and the podcast on > SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com Stitcher, tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Here is your show on RadioPublic: Listen to Personal Development Unplugged on RadioPublic I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Music by Wataboi from Pixabay Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay

Life is a Festival Podcast
#107 - Real Reciprocity in Psychedelics and Beyond | Sutton King (Journey Colab)

Life is a Festival Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 19, 2021 67:08


What is our responsibility for kinship and reciprocity as we explore the healing power of plant medicine? Sutton King of the Menominee and Oneida Nations, Head of Impact at the psychedelic drug development company Journey Colab, can show us the way. On the show we explore Sutton's commitment to healing and service from her early days dancing jingle dress to her work with the Urban Indigenous Collective in New York. Sutton explains her perspective on kinship and the Seven Generations Principle. We discuss Journey Colab, the psychedelic startup that is developing mescaline for treating alcoholism. Finally we review the responsibilities of psychedelic entrepreneurs as well as individual psychonauts to be in right relation with the honorable harvest. A descendant of the Menominee and Oneida Nations of Wisconsin, Sutton King is a nationally recognized indigenous heath advocate, researcher, and social entrepreneur. She is the co-founder and President of Urban Indigenous Collective, a nonprofit advocating on the behalf of Urban Natives in the tri-state area, she is Head of Impact at Journey Colab, a start-up led by Sam Altman and Jeeshan Chowdhury developing psychedelic treatments for mental health, and she is the Co-Founder of ShockTalk, a culturally tailored telemental health platform that facilitates culturally appropriate patient-provider relationships. With psychedelic exploration booming, we need leaders like Sutton King to make sure our transformational self-inquiry and healing doesn't simple become another kind of hedonic consumption. Links Sutton King on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sutton.king Sutton King on Twitter: https://twitter.com/suttonking_ Urban Indigenous Collective: https://urbanindigenouscollective.org/ Journey Colab: https://www.journeycolab.com/ ShockTalk: https://www.shocktalk.io/ Decolonizing Wealth: https://decolonizingwealth.com/ Braiding Sweetgrass: https://milkweed.org/book/braiding-sweetgrass Transcript :10 - A day in the life of a psychedelic activist :15 - Dancing Jingle Dress as a calling to help heal her people :24 - Kinship and the Seven Generations principle :32 - Peyote, Journey Colab, and the Indigenous Reciprocity Trust :39 - Cheif Oshkosh, and Menominee sustainability :44 - Right psychedelic entrepreneurship from the Nagoya Protocol to “Free, Prior, and Informed Consent” :53 - Urban Indigenous Collective :59 - Reciprocity on an individual level

The Engaged Club
The Noun of Social Reciprocity

The Engaged Club

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 18, 2021 38:07


Have you ever had a member come into your office with a complaint or a grievance, expecting you to handle it right away? Have you ever needed to influence or motivate a staff member to do something your way?This episode centres around a situation Jim and Roger were in recently where Jim used strong interpersonal skills he learned at the CSCM National Conference 20 years ago to solve a major problem.Let us know what you think of this episode. Comment here or shoot us an email at hello@engagedclub.com

Huberman Lab
Dr. Anna Lembke: Understanding & Treating Addiction | Episode 33

Huberman Lab

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 16, 2021 122:32


This episode I interview Dr. Anna Lembke, MD, Chief of the Stanford Addiction Medicine Dual Diagnosis Clinic at Stanford University School of Medicine. Dr. Lembke is a psychiatrist expert in treating addictions of all kinds: drugs, alcohol, food, sex, video games, gambling, food, medication, etc. Dr. Lembke is also an expert in the opioid crisis, and the author of Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence (https://amzn.to/3AHHGBp). We discuss the biology and psychology of why people become addicted to certain substances and behaviors and the key role that our "dopamine balance" plays in creating addiction. We also discuss the science and practice of how to conquer addictions, why people relapse and how to avoid relapsing. Dr. Lembke also shares her expertise on topics closely related to addiction such as community, shame and lying and she explains why telling the truth—even about the most basic things in daily life, adjusts dopamine levels in our brain. This episode is an important one for anyone struggling with addictions of any kind, for their friends and families and for health care professionals. It is also for anyone who has defeated addiction and is determined to stay clean. Last but not least, it helps explain why all humans do what we do, and how we can all maintain a healthy sense of pleasure seeking in life.   Thank you to our sponsors: ROKA - https://www.roka.com -- code: huberman InsideTracker - https://www.insidetracker.com/huberman Headspace - https://www.headspace.com/specialoffer   Our Patreon page: https://www.patreon.com/andrewhuberman    Supplements from Thorne: http://www.thorne.com/u/huberman    Social: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/hubermanlab Twitter - https://twitter.com/hubermanlab Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/hubermanlab Website - https://hubermanlab.com Join the Neural Network - https://hubermanlab.com/neural-network   Dr. Anna Lembke Links: Website: https://bit.ly/3iPtGje   Stanford Profile: https://stanford.io/3AI9SEu  Dopamine Nation (new book): https://amzn.to/3AHHGBp    Timestamps: 00:00:00 Dr. Anna Lembke, Addiction Expert 00:02:25 Disclaimer & Sponsors: Roka, InsideTracker, Headspace 00:07:00 Dopamine, Happiness & Impulsivity  00:15:56 What Is Pleasure?  00:18:20 Addiction, Boredom & Passion for Life 00:24:00 Pain-Pleasure Balance Controls Addiction 00:29:10 Dopamine Deficits, Anhedonia 00:30:47 Are All Addictions the Same? 00:35:38 Boredom & Anxiety Lead to Creativity  00:40:35 Finding Your Passion Starts with Boredom & Action Steps  00:50:05 How to Break an Addiction 00:55:25 Relapse, Craving & Triggers 01:07:40 Can People Get Addicted To “Sobriety”?  01:11:45 Are We All Wired for Addiction?  01:15:57 Bizarre Addiction 01:18:14 Recovered Addicts Are Heroes 01:20:10 Lying, Truth Telling, Guilt & Shame 01:30:40 Clinical Applications of: Ibogaine, Ayahuasca, Psilocybin & MDMA  01:40:20 Social Media Addiction  01:51:25 Narcissism  01:53:30 Goal Seeking, Success & Surprise 01:58:10 Reciprocity 02:01:15 Closing Comments, Resources   Please note that The Huberman Lab Podcast is distinct from Dr. Huberman's teaching and research roles at Stanford University School of Medicine. The information provided in this show is not medical advice, nor should it be taken or applied as a replacement for medical advice. The Huberman Lab Podcast, its employees, guests and affiliates assume no liability for the application of the information discussed.   Title Card Photo Credit: Mike Blabac - https://www.blabacphoto.com 

Encouraging Christians
Mutual Reciprocity

Encouraging Christians

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 15, 2021 2:48


How do you do in relationships? Ephesians 5:21 --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/encouragingchristians/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/encouragingchristians/support

OshunRoyalty
Issa SnackBite #21: Peace & Reciprocity✨

OshunRoyalty

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 12, 2021 4:52


This mini episode is to remind us all that our external reflects our internal and that we are our first priority. It's time to start pouring into ourselves daily✨ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

The Flipped Lifestyle Podcast
How To Grow Your Online Business with Podcast Guesting!

The Flipped Lifestyle Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 10, 2021 63:48


How To Grow Your Online Business with Podcast Guesting Today's guest is Flipped Lifestyle Community Member Nicole Whitworth! Nicole started YourNursingTutor.com to teach nursing students how to get through nursing school confidently and calmly. She launched her membership 3 months ago and already has 20 members! Shane Sams and Nicole talk about using the Dream 100 strategy to get Nicole and her content in front of other people's audiences in Facebook groups and on podcasts. Reciprocity can bring value to others while also building your business. In today's episode you'll learn: How to avoid shiny object syndrome and the burnout of living launch to launch by creating a membership How to go all-in on your online business by taking chances and taking advantage of opportunities that are placed in front of you How becoming debt-free enables you to take risks How to prioritize what matters in your business We don't always know what's going to work, but when we find it, we have to  be consistent, prolific, and relentless. Get access to the Flipped Lifestyle Blueprint, forums, and monthly member calls to help you start, build, and grow your online business at FlippedLifestyle.com

Gift of the Day
E279 8.7.21 Performing for reciprocity is a fool's game. Ever hidden a baby in a bar?

Gift of the Day

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 8, 2021 19:39


What the hell are Michelle and David talking about? Hiding babies in bars? Have they finally revealed what we've all known? That they are absolutely crazy? Maybe. Listen today. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/red-kite-movement/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/red-kite-movement/support

The Mushroom Hour Podcast
Ep. 90: Fungi Freights - Detroit's Urban Lab & Environmental Studio (feat. Tess Burzynski)

The Mushroom Hour Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 6, 2021 51:09


Today on Mushroom Hour it is our great privilege to be joined by Tess Burzynski - founder, head educator and cultivator at Fungi Freights Urban Lab and Environmental Studio. A Science degree graduate from Wayne State University, she works as an Environmental Scientist and continues doing research with mycoremediation in the city of Detroit. Tess is a member of the Michigan Mushroom Hunters Club and the North American Mycological Association. Throughout her studies she has learned the role mycelium plays in the environment and how beneficial, tenacious and magical it truly is. Through Fungi Freights, her goal is to educate Detroit and its surrounding neighbors about the benefits fungi have on health, food security and the environment. Fungi Freights offers an array of educational workshops and events revolved around mushrooms and their never-ending abilities. From identification, foraging and fungi biology, to DIY cultivation and mushroom art, their events never get dull. Their goal is to enlighten the community on the fascinating world of fungi! TOPICS COVERED:Lebanese & Polish Wild Food InfluencesFinding Healing & Self-Love in MushroomsBiochemical Processes in Fungi DecompositionDecomposers & MycoremediationIllustrative Example of Mycoremediation ResearchCommunity Science Leading in MycoremediationUnique Ecology of DetroitFounding of Fungi FreightsFungi Freights Projects and Community InvolvementImportance of Reciprocity in Community BuildingAdvice for Our Mushroom ProjectsWorldwide Modular, Shipping Container Mushroom FarmsBright Potential for DetroitFastest Organism on Earth is a Fungus?!EPISODE RESOURCES:Fungi Freights Website: https://www.fungifreights.net/Fungi Freights IG: https://www.instagram.com/fungifreights/Fungi Freights Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/fungifreights/NAMA: https://namyco.org/Pilobolus crystallinus (Fungus): https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pilobolus_crystallinus

The ITF Flowcast
The ITF Flowcast S2E23 - Facebook Ad Master Class

The ITF Flowcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 5, 2021 105:08


Hey Flowmies! If you have ever tried to run Facebook Ads, you know there are definitely more opportunities to pull your hair out than there are to get customers. If you have been meaning to run some ads but go into convulsions at the thought, this episode is for you. Victoria Erran of Reciprocity 5 was kind enough to conduct a master class of Facebook ads. She gets into the nuts and bolts of the procedures with several Flowmies and walks them through each step, uncovering potential problems and showing how to avoid them. You should know that this episode is actually a class rather than an interview like we typically would run. So, while you may benefit from just listening to it, the real value comes with you sitting down at a computer and going through the step-by-step procedures with Victoria as she screen-shares her methods. We really appreciate her taking the time to put this information together and if you aren't running Facebook ads now, bookmark it so you now where to find it later when you are. Flow on!

She Explores
Reciprocity with Lands & Waters: Brianne Lauro

She Explores

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 4, 2021 31:58


Brianne Lauro was born and raised on Hawai'i Island and learned how to hunt, fish, and dive from her father at a young age. She's carried this passion into adulthood, along with a commitment to honoring all the lands and waters of the island through giving back as they have given to her and her family. In conversation with Gabaccia Moreno, Brianne shares what drives her, how she would like to see the conservation conversation shift, why she's documenting the knowledge of her family, and her hopes for the future. About Brianne, in her own words: Brianne Lauro is a descendant of Filipino plantation workers and the daughter, granddaughter, and great-granddaughter of Hawai'i fishers and hunters. Born and raised on Hawai'i Island, she learned how to hunt, fish, and dive from her father at a young age, which she continues to do to this day. For generations, Hawai'i's lands and waters have taken care of her and her family, and she's committed to a lifetime of reciprocating that gift through conservation. Throughout the past year, Brianne has become a storyteller for her family — documenting and preserving the knowledge and life stories of her loved ones, past and present. In 2020, Brianne was awarded the two most prestigious scholarships established by Congress, the Harry S. Truman Scholarship and the Udall Undergraduate Scholarship. At her core, Brianne is a lover of family, heritage, local knowledge, and conservation.This is the fourth of six episodes hosted by Gabaccia Moreno this year as part of our She Explores host residency program.Featured in this episode: Brianne Lauro (she/her)Hosted & Produced by Gabaccia MorenoAdditional Support by Gale StraubA production of Ravel MediaSponsored by Organifi & PachamamaJoin the She Explores Podcast community on FacebookVisit She-Explores.com & Follow Us on InstagramResourcesFeatured in this episode: Brianne LauroInstagram: @Brianne_LauroRavel MediaSponsors and Discount CodesOrganifi: Head to Organifi.com/explore and get 20% off your order with code EXPLORE Pachamama CBD: Get 40% off Sleep Well CBD Gummies with code EXPLORE at checkout via pachamamaCBD.com.Music is licensed through Musicbed.Episodes air weekly on Wednesdays-- subscribe wherever you listen so you never miss an episode.

I Love Mortgage Brokering
TLAM 38: Reciprocity - How to Prevent Losing Your Client at the 11th Hour

I Love Mortgage Brokering

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 4, 2021 13:16


In this episode, I share two powerful tactics you can use to improve conversions by tapping into the principle of reciprocity.   Lisa Well's ILMB Episode 181: https://mortgagebroker.podbean.com/e/149-how-lisa-wells-generated-38-leads-from-one-realtor/   If you're looking exclusively for "10 Loans a Month" episodes, subscribe to the "10 Loans a Month" podcast, available wherever you get your podcasts.   The I Love Mortgage Brokering Network is now brought to you by Finmo. To learn more, visit: www.finmo.ca/ilmb   If you have any questions you want me to answer, send me an email at scott@ilovemortgagebrokering.com   I Love Mortgage Brokering: www.ilovemortgagebrokering.com   Find out more about the 10 Loans A Month Academy: www.10loansamonth.com   Find out more about ILMB Mortgage Pros: www.get10funded.com   Find out more about the $25 Million Dollar Blueprint: www.get25million.com

NCC Daily
Upstream Reciprocity

NCC Daily

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 2, 2021 3:00


The Craig T. Owens Audio Blog

Reciprocity is win-win. Selfishness is lose-lose.  To read the full transcript of today's podcast, please click here. 

Observing the Pattern - A Fringe Podcast

3x11 'Reciprocity' - Episode analysis This week Luke is joined by returning guest Clara Cook as they discuss 3x11 of Fringe, 'Reciprocity'. Join them as they break this episode down and generally struggle to say the title...Host / Producer / EditorLuke WinchGuestClara CookExecutive ProducerTony BlackTwitter: @TheOTPPodcastFacebook: Observing the PatternWebsite: wemadethisnetwork.comSupport the We Made This podcast network on Patreon:www.patreon.com/wemadethisLogo artwork by Mel Langton. Website: mellangton.com.Find her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram under Mel Langton Art.

Leave The Bubble
35 - The Power of Reciprocity

Leave The Bubble

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 14, 2021 9:46


Thirty-Fifth episode of the series, where we talk about the power of reciprocity. We go over its  benefits and advantages in a business setting, as well as its importance in our personal, daily lives. So tune in, enjoy the episode and start reciprocating!Music by Bensound.

ZION ID
Second Coming Reciprocity: How it Works

ZION ID

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 14, 2021 16:07


Israel's latter day role in Babylon's destruction...

Kevin Ward's YES Talk | Real Estate Coaching and Success Training for Agents
YesTalk-240 - EXPIRED STRATEGY - How Far Will You Go To Get A Million Dollar

Kevin Ward's YES Talk | Real Estate Coaching and Success Training for Agents

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 14, 2021 10:39


Go to https://mastery.yesmasters.com/powerpack to get the best core scripts that will give you more leads, listing, and sales. How far are you willing to go to get a 15k or 50k commission check from an Expired? First, you want to get them interested in having a conversation with you and then get them to take action.*Click here to download your FREE copy of the BEST Expired script (plus other core real estate scripts). How? Send them a $400 iPad. Set it in a mode where it automatically plays a video message from you when they turn it on. For a potential 50k commission check with a million-dollar Expired, you could invest 8k in 20 iPads at $400 each. If you get even just 1 Expired to list with you, you'll have already made a profit. Or, you can send them a bottle of wine with an attached personal message. Doing something special for them gains you credibility & gets you noticed because it's not what agents typically do. It also triggers the Law of Reciprocity and makes them feel that they (at the very least) owe you their attention. More than anything, this tells them that if you're willing to go to that extent to get their attention, then you're going to do whatever it takes to get their house sold for top dollar. Get more exclusive real estate agent trainings here

Perpetual Traffic
Episode 314: Traffic for Poor People: How to Get Traffic When You Don't Have Money for Paid Ads

Perpetual Traffic

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 13, 2021 23:46


When it comes to getting traffic for your business, it's obviously ideal to have a lot of money to invest in ads. But that's not always realistic, especially for people just starting out. In this episode, Ralph Burns and Kasim Aslam give hope to those entrepreneurs who don't have extra money for paid advertising just lying around.    The bad news? You have to spend for traffic. Period. The good news? You can pay with time if you don't have the cash. Ralph and Kasim talk through some simple basics, things they did back in the day that really worked. The bottom line: bring value to people, and it will pay off down the road. It's the Law of Reciprocity, and it works.   IN THIS EPISODE YOU'LL LEARN: Why (and how) to provide value (for free) in online groups and forums How to conduct free avatar research on LinkedIn to get more traffic How to get in front of YouTube audiences to grow your own business What it looks like to develop strategic partnerships with other companies   LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Robert Kiyosaki    Thanks so much for joining us this week. Want to subscribe to Perpetual Traffic? Have some feedback you'd like to share? Connect with us on iTunes and leave us a review!   iTunes not your thing? Find us on Stitcher.

Jess B. Real Podcast
C.I.R.C.L.E.

Jess B. Real Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 11, 2021 30:26


SEASON 3 FINALE IS HERE!!!!! WHEWWW...we made it y'all! Another season, Another finale! Everybody has had a moment when they had to step back, and look at their C.I.R.C.L.E. (Contemplating. Ignored. Reciprocity. Communicating.Lackadaisical. Efforts.) Some people are here to drain without knowing when to refrain from doing such. So what you gonna do?...Let's get Real..Tap in!

Touchdowns and Tangents
Reciprocity is Not Charging People to Use Apple Pay

Touchdowns and Tangents

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 10, 2021 71:17


#LetsTalkAboutItPatriots former receiver N'Keal Harry demands trade from the front officeXFL will relaunch season in 2023 after talks and mutual agreement with CFL. CFL had to cancel 2020 season after Canadian Government wouldn't give the league $30 million in aid. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/31776392/xfl-planning-2023-return-talks-partnership-cfl-tabled%3Fplatform%3DampDrew Lock lug nut near-death car accident #CollegeFootballNewsRIP Former UCLA head football head coach Terry Donahue. Died at 77 years-old. Winningest coach in UCLA football history and his 98 wins are the most in the PAC-12. Rutgers wide receiver Carnell Davis recovering after getting beat up in New Jersey. Oregon edge rusher Signs NFT artwork collaboration with Nike. https://www.cbssports.com/college-football/news/oregon-star-kayvon-thibodeaux-partners-with-nike-co-founder-shoe-designer-for-nft-artwork-collaboration/ Texas A & M running back Ainias Smithto share his NIL money with his teammates. America Top Team, renowned MMA training facility, plans to offer every University of Miami football player a Name, Image, Likeness contract that could pay up to $6,000 per year. https://syndication.bleacherreport.com/amp/10007132-american-top-team-to-offer-miami-cfb-players-nil-contracts-worth-up-to-6k-a-year.amp.html #TakeOrTangentNFL and Twitter extend their deal. Tyreek Hill dusted Aaron Jones in a raceEast West Shrine game had partnered with Raiders stadium in 2022. https://syndication.bleacherreport.com/amp/10007142-east-west-shrine-bowl-to-be-held-during-2022-nfl-pro-bowl-week-raiders-to-host.amp.html#TouchdownOrTurnoverNo players opted out as the deadline passes.Derek Carr elaborates on his comeback to Tom Brady's, “You're sticking with this motherf_cker?” story on “The Shop.” https://syndication.bleacherreport.com/amp/10007287-derek-carr-on-tom-bradys-that-motherf--ker-remark-what-i-heard-it-wasnt-me.amp.html Steelers signed Trai Turner. He signed with the Chargers last year.#UnnecessaryToughnessRants

Vedic Worldview
Jealousy, Selfishness and Polygamy

Vedic Worldview

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 4, 2021 37:02


Our first Ask Thom Anything episode was such a hit that we're making it a regular feature. In this episode, Thom talks about how to respond to the jealousy of others when we're following our own evolutionary path, including a delightful background story to how Guru Dev stubbornly followed his own evolutionary path at a very young age.He also discusses the self-love trend and how to recognize the distinction between self-ish-ness and Self-ness. Polygamy and mongamy are also addressed, with Thom taking the opportunity to outline the role of a ‘love alliance' and shared mission in intimate relationships.If you'd like to have Thom answer a question on the podcast, you can submit your questions here.Episode Highlights: [00:57] Q - How Do We Balance Following Our Own Charm With Jealousy That Might Arise In Others [02:22] We Can't Control the Experience of Others[03:05] Jealousy Is… [04:38] Envy Gone Horribly Wrong [06:04] A Pathetic Consciousness State [07:38] I Have to Go to the Himalayas [08:59] Running Away From Home (At the Age of Six!) [10:07] The Shankaracharya [11:30] They Have to Trust That You Know What You Are Doing [12:49] Occasional Frank Conversations[14:09] What Are You Doing For Your Own Evolution? [15:27] Growing Out of Social Relationships [16:19] How Can We Know the Difference Between Self-love and Selfishness? [17:26] Upper-Case S Self [18:21] Lower-Case s self [19:18] Self-ish-ness and Selfness [20:34] Expanded Consciousness is the First Priority[21:43] Giving Beyond Conscious Receptivity [22:53] The Apparent Need for Reciprocity[24:28] Overcompensating [25:39] I Am the Fulfillment State Seeking the Need of the Time [26:45] How Love Evolves [27:39] Q - What's the Vedic Worldview on Polyamory and Monogamy? [28:10] A Love Alliance [29:04] Shared Mission [30:10] Differing Standards[31:30] “Dating” [32:38] A Field Full of Potential Confusion [34:00] A Mere Relation-Ship[34:55] Be Honest About ItUseful Links: info@thomknoles.com https://thomknoles.com/https://www.instagram.com/thethomknoles/https://www.facebook.com/thethomknoleshttps://www.youtube.com/c/thomknoles https://thomknoles.com/ask-thom-anything/

The Real Estate Sales Podcast
TRES 078: 10 New Real Estate Agent Action Steps to Success

The Real Estate Sales Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 2, 2021 10:59


Almost 85% of real estate agents in the business only last two years. So how can you kill it right out of the gate? In today's episode, Jimmy provides ten action steps for new real estate agents to ensure they start on the right foot for their business and generate the results they want.   Build your database:   Your database is a list of everyone you've done business with or had contact with, from your old coworkers to the fellow parents of your son's little league team. If you can provide value to them, they should be in your database. Tune into this previous episode to learn more about growing your database.   Private message people:   More specifically, private message anyone you've bought or purchased from. The Law of Reciprocity should help you find success. Jimmy got this idea from Molly Slagle; check out her podcast episode for more fantastic ideas.   Document your journey:   Social media makes documenting easier, and people want to know what's going on in your life. Show your process of growing your business or finding new listings - it'll keep you top of mind without getting in someone's face.   Market to feeder markets:   Many areas have feeder markets, places where people move from more frequently than others. Contact the top agents in that feeder market, build relationships with those agents and offer to pay referral fees. Visit Heidi Harris' podcast episode to learn more about capitalizing on feeder markets.   Join a networking group:   Check your local Chamber of Commerce for a BNI or other group for networking professionals.  If there isn't, create one yourself! Find all the people you would typically deal with with a typical buyer or seller and give referrals for each other.   Attend conferences:   Tiffany Curry gave him this idea because she would go to events for different realtor events and introduce herself to everyone she met.  You'll learn a ton of new information at the conference and develop a growing network of agents.   Host open houses:   If you don't have any listings, go to an agent in your office and ask to hold an open house for them. Real estate is a contact business - you need to be in contact with people. And open houses are the best way to do that. Want to know how to throw a perfect open house? Check out Jimmy's previous episode.   Choose a farm area:   Choose an area that you'll become the neighborhood expert. Learn everything about all the sales in that neighborhood. This could involve calling, circle prospecting, and even introducing yourself door-to-door.  To learn how to become an expert in your neighborhood, check out this previous episode on effective circle prospecting.   Call expired listings and for sale by owners:   You, with expired listings, have people who want to sell but just don't have the right agent. With houses for sale by owners, you have people who are looking to avoid the hassle. Reach out and offer your services! You'll be surprised by the success.   Have conversations:   The industry average is that it takes 50 real estate-related conversations to generate one sale. So determine your goal number, and base your conversations per day around reaching that goal. The final takeaway? Take advantage of your opportunities and get creative to develop a foundation to grow for years to come. Connect with Jimmy Burgess on LinkedIn and Facebook, as well as his YouTube channel.   If you like what you heard today, we'd love it if you'd share a rating or review and then subscribe to the podcast and tell others about it as well. You can find The Real Estate Sales Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, and Audible, and our website, The Real Estate Sales Podcast.

TheXchange Place
Session 15: The Lens of a Young Man: Dating/Communication & Reciprocity

TheXchange Place

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 23, 2021 57:44


Young men share their perspective on dating and how communication can be bridged. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Possibilities Podcast
Pandemic Minisode 8 - Possibilities of Regenerative Reciprocity w/ Naty Tremblay

Possibilities Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 17, 2021 19:23


This week's episode, Possibilities of Regenerative Reciprocity is the last of our minisode series! This episode features Naty Tremblay (@civilcyborg) sharing insights about our collective responsibilities and making connections to create interwoven communities of magic, justice and transformation. Links to Episode, Patreon and Transcript in Bio Listen to this episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Anchor and anywhere you listen to podcasts. Music by: Lal Art by: @umang_antariksh ID: White block text on pink background reads "POSSIBILITIES OF REGENERATIVE RECIPROCITY W/NATY TREMBLAY ”. Below, there's a circular photo of Naty, a metis francophone person smiling head tilted with short hair, shaved on the sides. They are wearing a soft pink shirt and necklace and there's glitter surrounding them. Blue and pink alternating, text reads: “hosted by KUMARI GILES” "POSSIBILITY SHAPER, CIRCLE KEEPER & COMMUNITY NURTURING ARTIST NATY TREMBLAY REFLECTS ON THE DEEP LESSONS OF THIS PAST YEAR THROUGH OUR PANDEMIC QUESTIONNAIRE" "AVAILABLE NOW WHEREVER YOU LISTEN TO PODCASTS" At the bottom, white block text on pink background reads “EXTENDED VERSIONS OF MINISODES IS AVAILABLE ON OUR PATREON PAGE”.

The Small Business Show
The Power of Reciprocity

The Small Business Show

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 16, 2021 33:02


Giving something of value away to customers before they place an order is a common sales and marketing technique. This reciprocity tactic is a powerful way to use persuasion to attract new customers to your business. But what about using it in other ways? With your employees, suppliers, and partners? Today on The Small Business Show you will learn about the hidden power of reciprocity and why it should be at the forefront of decision making for your business. Join your hosts Shannon Jean and Dave Hamilton as they discuss the power of using reciprocity to help you and your Small Business succeed! 00:00:00 Small Business Show #332 for Wednesday, June 16, 2021 00:01:01 New Logo for SBS feedback@businessshow.co 00:01:34 The Power of Reciprocity Give away something of value before the order is placed Costco's Free Samples are their Secret Sauce HelpScout - Teaching great customer service Scott Adams: Hand out TicTacs at the start of each meeting. 00:12:06 SPONSOR: Bambee – Let Bambee help with your dedicated HR Manager! Go to Bambee.com/SMALL right now to schedule your free HR audit. 00:13:36 Today is a good day to start a business 00:14:38 Using Reciprocity to Find Suppliers Buy someone's junk...and don't haggle! 00:24:08 Reciprocity in Partnerships (Vendors, Customers, and More) Make a list of what drives your partners crazy 00:28:22 Using Reciprocity with Employees “Give as if you don't expect anything in return and you will be richly rewarded.” 00:31:46 SBS 332 Outtro

The Plant Path
Truly Ethical Wildcrafting: Creating Reciprocity and Relationship with Wild Plants and Places featuring Rosalee de la Foret

The Plant Path

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 10, 2021 76:53


On this week's episode of The Plant Path, Whitney is joined by herbalist Rosalee de la Forêt. They have a discussion around wildcrafting practices; how to build relationships with the plants that grow around you by learning how to honorably harvest, tend, and care for land in your bioregion; how to work with the wild plants around you for food, medicine, and healing; and much more. ———————————— CONNECT WITH SAJAH AND WHITNEY ———————————— To get free in depth mini-courses and videos, visit our blog at:  http://www.evolutionaryherbalism.com Get daily inspiration and plant wisdom on our Facebook and Instagram channels: http://www.facebook.com/EvolutionaryHerbalism https://www.instagram.com/evolutionary_herbalism/ Be sure to subscribe to our YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCyP63opAmcpIAQg1M9ShNSQ   ———————————— ABOUT SAJAH ———————————— Sajah Popham is the author of Evolutionary Herbalism and the founder of the School of Evolutionary Herbalism, where he trains herbalists in a holistic system of plant medicine that encompasses clinical western herbalism, medical astrology, Ayurveda, and spagyric alchemy. His mission is to develop a comprehensive approach that balances the science and spirituality of plant medicine, focusing on using plants to heal and rejuvenate the body, clarify the mind, open the heart, and support the development of the soul. Sajah's approach honors and acknowledges the chemical, energetic, and spiritual properties of plants for a holistic model that uses the whole herb to heal the whole person. He lives on a homestead in the foothills of Mt. Baker Washington with his wife Whitney where he teaches, consults clients, and prepares spagyric herbal medicines.    ———————————— ABOUT THE PLANT PATH ———————————— The Plant Path provides unique perspectives for the modern practitioner of herbalism that doesn't just want to “fix what's broken” in the body, but seeks to serve others with deeper levels of healing and transformation with herbal medicines.    A unique synergy of clinical herbalism, alchemy, medical astrology, and herbal traditions from around the world, The Plant Path focuses on giving you a truly “wholistic” perspective on herbal medicine so you never fall into the trap of allopathic herbalism.    ———————————— WANT TO FEATURE US ON YOUR PODCAST? ———————————— If you'd like to interview Sajah or Whitney to be on your podcast, click here to fill out an interview request form.

The Derek Loudermilk Show (The Art of Adventure)
The Reciprocity of Life | 5 Levels of Abundance Part 3: Giving and Receiving

The Derek Loudermilk Show (The Art of Adventure)

Play Episode Listen Later May 28, 2021 16:42


When you focus on money you are robbing yourself of 80% of the ways to experience true abundance Abundance is “the ability to do what you need to do when you need to do it” There are 5 levels to abundance each will have its own episode for the series The Art and Science of Creating More Luck | 5 Levels of Abundance Part 15 Levels of Abundance Part 2: Access to Better Information and IdeasThe Reciprocity of Life | 5 Levels of Abundance Part 3: Giving and ReceivingMoneyBarter/Trade This will be a podcast miniseries where we cover your ability to train and increase each of these levels of abundance and you life Most people get stuck focusing on money because of our capitalist frame of reference. If you want to buy a car and instead somebody just gives it to you - then you don't have to worry about money! Most people are not experiencing the fullness of abundance they could because they are deficient in their giving and receiving circuit In the ancient Incan concept of Ayni - translated as the reciprocity of life - you must have free flow of energy in both giving and receiving. This episode will help you figure out if you are cramping the flow of abundance in either direction and how to train yourself to open up more abundance through giving and receiving Listen to today's episode to enhance this level of abundance! When you listen to the full series. You will be able top combine and fully utilize all of these levels to do what you need to do And, at the end of the series, I will show you how you can access all of these levels of abundance through your network – and I'll teach you how to build a world class network

The John Batchelor Show
1376: The surprising Mr. Biden maintains Trumps's China tariffs. @AlanTonelson @GordonGChang, Gatestone, Newsweek, The Hill

The John Batchelor Show

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 29, 2021 11:55


Photo: Cartoon shows a rich man "Sugar Trust" seated in a chair '[paragraph] 209 16 Dutch" smoking a pipe "Sec. 4 Tariff Law 1897" from which issues smoke labeled "Reciprocity." A man "Beet Sugar" pulls on the back of the chair as Theodore Roosevelt, holding a "Special Message," and Democratic Congressman James Daniel Richardson spur on an elephant and a donkey hitched to a harness connected to a footstool "Duty on dark colored sugar" under the feet of the man."Cuban-American Reciprocity Bureau, Washington, D.C."Title from item.The New John Batchelor ShowCBS Audio Network@Batchelorshow The surprising Mr. Biden maintains Trumps's China tariffs. @AlanTonelson @GordonGChang, Gatestone, Newsweek, The HillAlan Tonelson, independent economic policy analyst who blogs at RealityChek and tweets at @AlanTonelsonhttps://www.globaltimes.cn/page/202104/1222155.shtml